Helping IntSec with their inquieries.

[Evil DM Mark3]

As you swipe the card through the second Autovend a long cylinder, not unlike a laser barrel, drops out of the slot and points at your face.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Eeek!" Rubiks-R tries to turn the barrel to face another target, hopefully looking for an Infrared, an inanimate object, or a fellow Troubleshooter. There was little decision making, except that the final target was not going to be her.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Bargy rolls over slowly starting to come out of his comatose state. He lets out a little moan as the pain begins deep in the pit of his skull "nnnnnngghhh"

Opening one eye he surveyed the scene and very gingerly planned his next move.
First, medication. Second, report into the computer about the treasonous attempt at poisoning him. Third, request advice from the computer about his own personal hygiene problems. Fourth,

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH", Why was Rubiks pointing a gun turret at him?

As quickly as his raging hangover allowed, he leapt to his feet, drawing his sword as he rose in one smooth motion. Well, that's the instruction his addled brain sent to his limbs - the message they received was somewhat scrambled. As he struggled to his feet he accidentally trod on the end of his sword which sent him stumbling into the was-Bob slick. He skidded like Bambi on ice and fell headlong on top of Izzy - face to butt-cheeks - his sword half pulled out of his scabbard.

Another groan escaped his lips, "nnnnnngggggghhhhh."

[Evil DM Mark3]

There is whirring from the autovend, and then a stream of BBB bursts forth and soaks BARGY-R-GEE-1, utterly ruining his hygiene.

[Aergoth]

That particular shot, Eric thought would be very good television, though the hygiene officer looked like he planned to do something he might regret. Eric, very carefully moved the boom mike into the crook of his arm and made sure his pistol was ready to be grabbed. "Yowza! Yowza! Yowza! That is some quality comedy!"

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Rolling his face away from Izzy's rear end, Bargy put phase 1 of his plan into action - Medication.

"Help me IZZY-R-DOC you're my only hope" he groaned

[Evil DM Mark3]

There is a deep tone and a transtube rolls into the nearby station, near the sector map.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Autovend 2, has been sabotaged by Commie Mutants!" Rubiks-R writes down. "I am so happy to follow Friend Computer's orders."

Rubiks-R remembered that the orders were for BBB autovends only, so she skipped the multivend. "Let's go!" She urged the Loyalty Officer, as he was the first in the marching order.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

Pushing Bargy aside, Izzy tries to stand, making sure not to slip in the BBB or the was-Bob slick. Slowly regaining his footing, he strikes a very serious pose, with hit puppet hand under his chin, thoughtfully. "Now, vat seems to be ze problem?"

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

"You're the Happiness Officer, aren't you. Make me HAPPY! AND, I need something stronger than the puppet"

Phase 2 - Bargy takes out his PDC and reports into the computer, "Reason to believe that RUBIKS-R-QUB-1 has attempted to poison me with a can of BBB she must have tampered with. Request guidance on how to address this matter."

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

"I vill have you know, Doctor Puppet iz a highly skilled professional. Vat do you zink, doctor?" He puts the puppet to his ear, taking it's 'advice.' "Ah, I agree." He pulls out the pill bag and uses the puppet to pull out the bottle of Inner Happiness pills. "Take vone of zese, and call me in zee morning."

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

"Thank You Dr Puppet", said Bargy as he grabbed the bottle and emptied a few pills into his cleanest hand. He downed the handful and, not quite grasping the ludicrous nature of the scene, gave the bottle back to the puppet.

Turning back to his PDC he again contacted the computer for Phase 3 of his plan, "The group seems to have a bit of a hygiene problem, suggest we take in those troubleshooters that have failed their tests for a thorough clean down by professionals"

Bargy tried to remember the full set of troubleshooters that had failed their hygiene tests, Hmmm, that'll be Bob, who's been dealt with, and me and ...... errrr me Then he recalls that one of the team seems to have been avoiding his hygiene test, Eric.

Bargy spoke into his PDC again, "I'll wait your further instruction on how you would like me to deal with my own personal hygiene, err, friend computer. As I'm too dirty to continue my duties without messing up the subjects I would suggest that I ask Chester, who has exemplary hygiene standards to test Eric."

Bargy handed the PDC to Chester and gave him lengthy instruction in how to operate the device, "Strap this to Eric, twist this dial and insert this"

He moved to a cleaner area and surveyed the scene, paying particular attention to the arriving transbot.

[Evil DM Mark3]

I appreciate your predicament citizen, you have been granted priority access to hygiene booth 997b at you the PLC offices that you are to head to. Please use access code ("^^")In the mean time we recommend the use of a SCRUB-A-DUB pill. For fastest access to the PLC offices we advise departing on the 1972 Transtube, due to arrive in three (3) minutes, RED seating to the rear.

[BornAgainGamer]

"Thank You, friend computer", Bargy grinned insanely, took a SCRUB-A-DUB pill and headed towards the transtube platform, waiting for Transtube 1972. In his pill-enhanced state of happiness, he belatedly remembered his other question and directed his query to his PDC, "What about Rubiks poisonous treason, friend computer?" he grinned.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Bargy starts to foam slightly at the mouth as lemon scented foam pours out of the corners of his mouth. He hickups and several large soap bubbles flow out of his mouth. His hair starts to smell minty fresh.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Only some sort of mutant would react to Friend Computer's BBB in such a fashion. After all, our Friend the Computer, gives us BBB for us to enjoy, to spend with our credits! Only a twisted mutant would get poisoned by the refreshing tastiness of BBB."

[Evil DM Mark3]

Chutzpa roll please. Don't forget perversity.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Speaking more at her PDC than at any of the Troubleshooters, Rubiks-R laid it all out on the table. "I bought that BBB when Friend Computer promoted me to RED. I bought it because Friend Computer trusted me with RED security clearance. That can was supposed to ensure the success of my first Troubleshooter mission. I cherished that can! I gave that can to help the mission succeed, because the mission is greater than any one Troubleshooter, or indeed, all six clones of all six Troubleshooters! And now, an unregistered mutant who sees Friend Computer's perfectly crafted BBB as a form of poison is trying to accuse me of treason! Friend Computer knows that BBB is designed for maximum refreshingness and exceeds all scores on the Tast-E scale. Ask any Loyal citizen, and he will tell you that B3 is the drink for me!" Rubiks-R starts giving off every slogan that she can remember about B3. She finishes by making a gesture, air-drinking a can of BBB, and then rubbing her tummy appreciatively. "Ah, BBB, the drink of Loyal Troubleshooters."

[SPOILER]Tootsie Chutzpah Roll!: (1d20)[2]

[Sicarius]

Per my previous PM to the GM, I spent 5 perversity on the roll for much, much chutzpah!

[Evil DM Mark3]

For future reference PUBLIC rolls should contain the perversity, SECRET rolls (for when you are doing things the others are not aware of) you PM me.

[Reptilius]

Chester-R-HAM-1

"I agree with Rubiks-R," says Chester abruptly, in contrast with Rubiks' flowing praise for BBB, "Although I have little knowledge of the subject, I don not believe carbonated beverages typically cause slurred speech an confusion. As such, he may be some kind of mutant, to have such a reaction. Also, BARGY-R-GEE's request for me to perform a hygiene test (not my duty, nor area of expertise), not to mention his sharing of equipment, shows a certain amount of Commie treason. Rubiks' alleged 'poisoning' attempt, while slightly traitorous towards the rest of our group, may have exposed another, more insidious threat."

Chester realized he was surprisingly happy. He could grow to like this.

"However, we should follow the Computer's suggestion and head to the PLC office. Perhaps there BARGY-R-GEE's poor hygiene can be fully examined and treated."

[Evil DM Mark3]

No further Perveristy has been spent.

On the subject of the possible treason the Computer has remained silent, however as the Transtube pulls into the station it seems to have failed to notice the previous one that has yet to leave. Being of a much bulkier design it simply smashed the one in the station to bits, luckily no one as onboard. Unluckily flying metal goes EVERYWHERE.

You may now spend perversity (even those players who's characters are not currently alive) to modify the following rolls for metal fragments attacking the team. + makes injury less likely, - makes it more likely.

Happy Off

Spoiler

Show

(d20)[3]

Comms Off

Spoiler

Show

(d20)[14]

Loyalty Off

Spoiler

Show

(d20)[17]

Equipment Off

Spoiler

Show

(d20)[13]

Hygiene Off

Spoiler

Show

(d20)[15]

[Aergoth]

Ducking and dodging, attempting not to get hit while filming the train Eric-R-TAT holds his camera steady. Of course, it all made sense now. BBB didn't make people... there was a word for that weird stumbly, confused state that Bargy was currently in. Erik could barely restrain himself from yelling "Commie mutant freak!" at the top of his lungs.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

Just like her favorite vidshow, the one where Teela-O was a Troubleshooter ferreting out Commie Mutants that were trying to deep-fry a Junior Citizen Creche with a tricky and treasonous grease pipeline. Now what was that show called? She jumped for cover just like Teela-O did, being sure to turn and wink at the Communications Officer. Tater Tots! That's what it was called!

Spending 3 perversity to make injury less likely on myself.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Bargy watched as the second transtube pulled into the station. Everything seemed to go into slow motion as it collided with the stationary vehicle. He stood stoically as the explosion sent fragments of flying metal in his direction.

He would stand up and take his damage like a truly loyal Alpha Complex citizen not cower or hide like a commie traitor.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

Izzy ducks and dives away from the wreckage, tumbling sideways and landing in a crouched position, bringing the d-gun up and aiming it at Bargy. Comically, it is the puppet with it's hand on the trigger, it's smiling face staring toward him.

[Is the d-gun a pistol or a rifle? And spending 10 perversity to better up that roll]

[Evil DM Mark3]

The D gun is an energy weapon and a pistol.

Clarification, are you spending perversity to make yourself less likely to be injured or to fire the D gun?

[Jokes]

[Wow, that's a loaded question. Since I never rolled for energy weapons, it would be for avoiding damage]

[Aergoth]

I would spend two perversity to improve mah roll.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1 narrowly avoids becoming Rubiks-R-QUB-2 but does have her left arm taken off just below the elbow. The rest of you escape injury.