My Little Pony XI: "Mmph!"

[Thanqol]

Hahaha NO. Sorry, lil' Thanqy, but the big pirates need to pilot the ship. But how about I show you how to rig the sails instead? That's something a colt your age can do!

"Unkie darthbobcat lets me fly his skyship. And he buys me waffles."

[EsperDerek]

*Crazy-Lyra mode*
I'm going to cut you up and make you into...

Oh hi Twilight. Just erm... taking my shotgun out for a walk. Yeah. A walk.

Miss Grif-Lyra, Momma Twilight's starting to get weirded out by you following us around all the time and hiding in the bushes.

Can you maybe stop doing that? I don't like it when my Momma is scared, but she's too nice to say it to you. Thank you.

[Grif]

Miss Grif-Lyra, Momma Twilight's starting to get weirded out by you following us around all the time and hiding in the bushes.

Can you maybe stop doing that? I don't like it when my Momma is scared, but she's too nice to say it to you. Thank you.

Sure, my little filly. Just let me take this photograph of you and Twilight and let me plot your demise buy you candy to make up for it later okay?

[Thanqol]

Miss Grif-Lyra, Momma Twilight's starting to get weirded out by you following us around all the time and hiding in the bushes.

Can you maybe stop doing that? I don't like it when my Momma is scared, but she's too nice to say it to you. Thank you.

Yeah, if you make Princess Mommy's mommy sad, you make her sad, which makes me sad family reunions in this household are gonna be weird.

[EsperDerek]

Sure, my little filly. Just let me take this photograph of you and Twilight and let me plot your demise buy you candy to make up for it later okay?

Okay, Miss Grif-Lyra! I knew that you'd understand, you're really a nice pony deep down.

Yeah, if you make Princess Mommy's mommy sad, you make her sad, which makes me sad family reunions in this household are gonna be weird.

It's okay, Thanqol, it looks like it's all resolved now! The family tree's definitely misshapen at this point!

[Raz_Fox]

"Unkie darthbobcat lets me fly his skyship. And he buys me waffles."

Unkie darthbobcat has a tiny little ship, and Razy's got a merchant vessel to plunder. But don't worry, 'cuz uncle Razy's gonna buy you a few slave-fillies and a new house once we scuttle this East India freighter. And they can feed you waffles!

[Thanqol]

Unkie darthbobcat has a tiny little ship, and Razy's got a merchant vessel to plunder. But don't worry, 'cuz uncle Razy's gonna buy you a few slave-fillies and a new house once we scuttle this East India freighter. And they can feed you waffles!

All right! I heard that sinking DOFAD-EITC airships was something only Popes or Communists did, though.

[Raz_Fox]

All right! I heard that sinking DOFAD-EITC airships was something only Popes or Communists did, though.

Well, the Pope's in bed with the Galloping Withers, so he asked me to do it for him. And no red-blooded stallion could say no to somepony with the Galloping Withers, Thanqy - it'd be like crushing 'is dreams. Besides, we won't sink it, per se, just loot it until there's nothing left but nails.

[Thanqol]

Well, the Pope's in bed with the Galloping Withers, so he asked me to do it for him. And no red-blooded stallion could say no to somepony with the Galloping Withers, Thanqy - it'd be like crushing 'is dreams. Besides, we won't sink it, per se, just loot it until there's nothing left but nails.

If I got the Galloping Withers, would you let me fly the airship? *Coff coff*

[SLEEP FOR REALS THIS TIME]

[Trixie]

[SLEEP FOR REALS THIS TIME]

Yeah right

[TheAmishPirate]

[SLEEP FOR REALS THIS TIME]

Son, this is the pony thread! We got images to dump, stories to write, newcomers to welcome, parties to throw, ropes to tie, theories to spawn, debates to be had, crazy to go, pink ones to be obeyed, films to noir, ropes to cut, and ponies to pony! We ain't got time for sleep!

[Aotrs Commander]

What are you talking about? You're not an undead lich, you're a little pony. A pegasus, a red one, with yellow mane and tail. You have a little skull for a cutie mark! Don't be silly, you've always been a pony.

He's krshshsht right. Like, I knew you as a pony back on the Wizards boards in '04. I was amazed that you could hold that persona so consistently, and amazed that you would because at the time all we really had were the pre-FIM ponies.

Guess those years of ponification finally paid off, huh?

Dear Lord Death Despoil,

I'm submitting a report on the possibility of weaponising the cartoon series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as an anti-population weapon, superseding the Overmaster Strain B virus, which is not ideally suited for the role, due to cost and effectiveness.

It would be easily deployable, with no additional equipment, from a Traitor-class Recon Destroyer to effect an entire star system from a safe distance. Projected effects include physical alteration of form to an equine state, insanity and perceptual distortions (leading them to see virtually all sentient creatures as small, brightly equines, making inflitration easy), and a general lack of desire to engage in violent combat; leading to combat neutralisation of hostile planets without any risk to Aotrs personnel. There are strong indications that it causes susceptibility to being physical restrained in a modest number of victims, rendering it easy to capture any targets of priority. And even easier to keep in line; rather than requiring any heavy occupation forces, the population can be controlled and distracted by large numbers of pictures of ponies doing everyday things in "cute" (sic) manner, allowing us to do what we like.

Additionally, as it is non-lethal and victims largely submit to it themselves, is would therefore not be subjected to galactic conventions on mass-destruction armaments (which would keep our forces from repercussions from it's mass deployment by outraged parties); at the end of a day, we can simply point out that it's (preportedly) a children's cartoon, and where's the harm (and provide a free "demonstration" for any politician foolish enough to attempt to manouver against us.)

The downside is that the Aotrs personnel would suffer the minor side-effects of exposure to the series (e.g brony-dom), but due to our Undead status, these effects are largely non-harmful and more easily controlled.

Your faithful Commadore,

Bleakbane.

[Raz_Fox]

If I got the Galloping Withers, would you let me fly the airship? *Coff coff*

[SLEEP FOR REALS THIS TIME]

Young colts who get the Galloping Withers have to go lie down in bed all day and drink Auntie Brazen's horrid Chicken-an'-Tofu Soup. So, m'lad... do you have the Galloping Withers?

[Grif]

Dear Lord Death Despoil,

I'm submitting a report on the possibility of weaponising the cartoon series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as an anti-population weapon, superseding the Overmaster Strain B virus, which is not ideally suited for the role, due to cost and effectiveness.

It would be easily deployable, with no additional equipment, from a Traitor-class Recon Destroyer to effect an entire star system from a safe distance. Projected effects include physical alteration of form to an equine state, insanity and perceptual distortions, and a general lack of desire to engage in violent combat; leading to combat neutralisation of hostile planets without any risk to Aotrs personnel. There are strong indications that it causes susceptibility to being physical restrained in a modest number of victims, rendering it easy to capture any targets of priority. And even easier to keep in line; rather than requiring any heavy occupation forces, the population can be controlled and distracted by large numbers of pictures of ponies doing everyday things in "cute" (sic) manner, allowing us to do what we like.

Additionally, as it is non-lethal and victims largely subit to it themselves, is would therefore not be subjected to galactic conventions on mass-destruction armaments (which would keep our forces from reprocussions from it's mass deployment by outraged parties); at the end of a day, we can simply point out that it's (preportedly) a children's cartoon, and where's the harm (and provide a free "demonstration" for any politician foolish enough to attempt to manouver against us.)

The downside is that the Aotrs personnel would suffer the minor side-effects of exposure to the series (e.g brony-dom), but due to our Undead status, these effects are largely non-harmful and more easily controlled.

Your faithful Commadore,

Bleakbane.

You sir, have just weaponised ponies. Do you have any idea what hath you wrought on the galaxy? I expect total galactic infestation of ponies within 90 days, and that's being optimistic.

Nay, not even the undead can escape the scourge of Friendship now. You have doomed us all.

[Vent Reynolt]

Be wary of your attempts to weaponize ponies as it could just as easily backfire. For example, a small leak of BFF particles from Deck 3 could render an entire fleet unsuitable for combat for a month. How many commanders will be willing to take that risk to their crew by having such a volatile amount of Friendship on board?

This is not even counting the fact the BFF particles maintain their potency even after affecting someone. Those directly handling the weapons will need to be kept in quarantine or else risk infecting the entire crew with unsafe levels of Friendship.

[Shadowy]

You sir, have just weaponised ponies. Do you have any idea what hath you wrought on the galaxy? I expect total galactic infestation of ponies within 90 days, and that's being optimistic.

Nay, not even the undead can escape the scourge of Friendship now. You have doomed us all.

I'm realatively certain that, due to time-travel this has already happened.

As a result you guys have made a thread discussion to crazy for ME to contribute to.
THIS. IS. PONY.

[Brazen Shield]

Young colts who get the Galloping Withers have to go lie down in bed all day and drink Auntie Brazen's horrid Chicken-an'-Tofu Soup. So, m'lad... do you have the Galloping Withers?

It.... *glares at you something fierce*
Well, I never. I'll just take this *rips out recipe card* thing and just throw it away then!
*mumbles*Horrid? I mean really... It's not that bad, just a little on the bland side what with the lack of real chicken and tofu around here. You'd think someone would have realized that chicken is nasty anyway and...

[ScionoftheVoid]

Dear Lord Death Despoil,

I'm submitting a report on the possibility of weaponising the cartoon series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as an anti-population weapon, superseding the Overmaster Strain B virus, which is not ideally suited for the role, due to cost and effectiveness.

It would be easily deployable, with no additional equipment, from a Traitor-class Recon Destroyer to effect an entire star system from a safe distance. Projected effects include physical alteration of form to an equine state, insanity and perceptual distortions (leading them to see virtually all sentient creatures as small, brightly equines, making inflitration easy), and a general lack of desire to engage in violent combat; leading to combat neutralisation of hostile planets without any risk to Aotrs personnel. There are strong indications that it causes susceptibility to being physical restrained in a modest number of victims, rendering it easy to capture any targets of priority. And even easier to keep in line; rather than requiring any heavy occupation forces, the population can be controlled and distracted by large numbers of pictures of ponies doing everyday things in "cute" (sic) manner, allowing us to do what we like.

Additionally, as it is non-lethal and victims largely submit to it themselves, is would therefore not be subjected to galactic conventions on mass-destruction armaments (which would keep our forces from repercussions from it's mass deployment by outraged parties); at the end of a day, we can simply point out that it's (preportedly) a children's cartoon, and where's the harm (and provide a free "demonstration" for any politician foolish enough to attempt to manouver against us.)

The downside is that the Aotrs personnel would suffer the minor side-effects of exposure to the series (e.g brony-dom), but due to our Undead status, these effects are largely non-harmful and more easily controlled.

Your faithful Commadore,

Bleakbane.

You should also add that victims will willingly and enthusiastically infect others, all of their own accord. Plant just a few on a planet and all of it will succumb over the course of a few years or less (projected figure, based on current growth rate), even without additional support. Faster, less resource-intensive and less dangerous than a military campaign. Truly, a tool of great power.

[MCerberus]

Be wary of your attempts to weaponize ponies as it could just as easily backfire. For example, a small leak of BFF particles from Deck 3 could render an entire fleet unsuitable for combat for a month. How many commanders will be willing to take that risk to their crew by having such a volatile amount of Friendship on board?

This is not even counting the fact the BFF particles maintain their potency even after affecting someone. Those directly handling the weapons will need to be kept in quarantine or else risk infecting the entire crew with unsafe levels of Friendship.

The zeal of Brony marines should not be questioned. Just point them at the target and those who aren't withering husks filled with friendship will destroy your enemies!

[EsperDerek]

You can't control the ponies. The ponies control you.

[MCerberus]

You can't control the ponies. The ponies control you.

Unless you're in Saddliet Russia.

[Gamerlord]

It should be noted in a few cases the ponies have the opposite effect, driving the target insane, including an insatiable desire to kill all members of bronydom, these should be called "Trolls" or "Parasprites".

[the_druid_droid]

Dear Lord Death Despoil,

I'm submitting a report on the possibility of weaponising the cartoon series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as an anti-population weapon, superseding the Overmaster Strain B virus, which is not ideally suited for the role, due to cost and effectiveness.

*snip*

Your faithful Commadore,

Bleakbane.

I'd just like to point out one small side effect you're overlooking.

Don't mind me...

Spoiler

Show

[Aotrs Commander]

You sir, have just weaponised ponies. Do you have any idea what hath you wrought on the galaxy? I expect total galactic infestation of ponies within 90 days, and that's being optimistic.

Nay, not even the undead can escape the scourge of Friendship now. You have doomed us all.

I figured if I'm gonna be damned, I may as well take everyone else down with me.

Be wary of your attempts to weaponize ponies as it could just as easily backfire. For example, a small leak of BFF particles from Deck 3 could render an entire fleet unsuitable for combat for a month. How many commanders will be willing to take that risk to their crew by having such a volatile amount of Friendship on board?

This is not even counting the fact the BFF particles maintain their potency even after affecting someone. Those directly handling the weapons will need to be kept in quarantine or else risk infecting the entire crew with unsafe levels of Friendship.

Easy enough; before deployment, we simply innoculate our own crew by making them take 13 hours out, during the ship's normal stardock resupply, to get them to watch season 1, and then by the time, the cycle is finished as the ship ready for deployment, they'll have gotten over the initial shock enough to return to normal duties. (Even if they end up spending their free time writing bad fanfic...)

You should also add that victims will willingly and enthusiastically infect others, all of their own accord. Plant just a few on a planet and all of it will succumb over the course of a few years or less (projected figure, based on current growth rate), even without additional support. Faster, less resource-intensive and less dangerous than a military campaign. Truly, a tool of great power.

Exactly!

It should be noted in a few cases the ponies have the opposite effect, driving the target insane, including an insatiable desire to kill all members of bronydom, these should be called "Trolls" or "Parasprites".

They should be easy enough to track and eliminate via conventional methods. More to the point, if the trolls engage in anti-brony activities, they aren't going to be stopping us. Still win-win!



However, the plan does have two minor drawbacks.

One, there are races out there, like the Cybertanks, for one, would would be immune to the power of pony. Being the paranoid xenocidal technological engines of death they are (the Cybertanks are not unlike the Daleks, only without the latter's wit, charm or intelligence), they are racially incapable of understanding the concepts of friendship or cute or (for that matter) magic. (They can barely cope with us.) As Rich himself has said, evil doesn't preclude friendship; but it does for the Cybertanks, who pretty much don't have any positive emotions at all. They are a big enough galactic threat that is the spread of pony went too far to fast, it would leave too many places incapable of defending themselves against a Cybertank Incursion; which would lead to very actual genocide. And, loathe though I am to admit it, the Aotrs isn't nearly big enough or advanced enough to stand alone against them (heck, even the very top civilisations would struggle if they had to tackle them alone).

And two, the Cybertanks would be immune to the influence of pony. Yes, I know that's technically only one drawback, but it was so big I thought I better mention it twice.

I'd just like to point out one small side effect you're overlooking.

Don't mind me...

Spoiler

Show

Oh fuuuaaaaaaaarrrggh!

...

Gukk...

I hate you.

*dust*

[Trixie]

Oh fuuuaaaaaaaarrrggh!

...

Gukk...

I hate you.

*dust*

<steals phylactery>

And now, for a drawback you haven't considered yet

[Gadora]

I hate you.

Spoiler

Show

I haz Seekrit Pony Projekt. Expect results Monday or so. If I can figure out how to make GIMP do something that I should probably be using something simpler for.

[MCerberus]

Spoiler

Show

I haz Seekrit Pony Projekt. Expect results Monday or so. If I can figure out how to make GIMP do something that I should probably be using something simpler for.

You tease, not even going to post some secret teaser material.

[the_druid_droid]

Oh fuuuaaaaaaaarrrggh!

...

Gukk...

I hate you.

*dust*

The downside of converting the universe to bronies: there's a lot of positive energy floating around

<steals phylactery>

And now, for a drawback you haven't considered yet

Since he's indisposed, I'll point out he's spirit-bound, so no phylactery to steal...

[Trixie]

The downside of converting the universe to bronies: there's a lot of positive energy floating around

Shhhhh! You'll betray our plans to these undead fools!

Since he's indisposed, I'll point out he's spirit-bound, so no phylactery to steal...

Pardon?

Being... 'indisposed' is the best time to steal one :P

[Mindfreak]

Teaser for my fanfic I am working on:

Spoiler

Show

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were cleaning up the library after a storm that came roaring through Ponyvill. They had to individually dry each page in the books, and then put them back on the appropriate shelf.
“Ah can’t believe that the storm broke all the windows!”
“Neither can I, now there’s glass everywhere!”
“I just hope the books are okay……”
“Don’t worry, Twilight! We’ll be able to put everything back the way it was!”
“Especially with me here, we’ll have it done in no time!”
They had just put away the last book when Applebloom walked in, she had something in her saddlebags too.
“Hey there Applebloom, what yew got there sis’?”
“Something ah want you guys to try, it’s called Caverns and Centaurs!”
Twilight gave a small frown.
“I don’t know, I’ve read some books about it, and there’s people who say that it’s evil…..”
“That’s hogwash! Just play it, and then you’ll see there is nothing to worry about!”
“Well, we did just finish up here, I guess we could play.”
“Ahright lil’ sis’, show us how to play.”
---2 Hours Later---
After taking some time to teach them, and to help them create their character sheets, Applebloom set up her CM screen and got out the dice. She also grabbed snacks and drinks. She set them down on the table where everypony else was sitting. Applejack had chosen to be a paladin, Twilight; a wizard, Rarity; an enchantress, Rainbow Dash; a ranger, and Pinkie Pie; a psion. They each took a set of dice from the dice Applebloom brought, and rolled them a couple times nervously to get used to them. Applebloom cleared her throat, somehow making her accent not apparent in her voice.
“You all met in a tavern, and decided to help fight the dragon on the edge of town together. This task was given to you by the lord of the town himself, for the dragon had been burning crops on the edge of town-“
“That fiend! What will all the ponies do without their apples!”
“Sister, please talk in character!”
Applejack cleared her throat, her voice rang clear without her usual speech.
“My fellows, we shall defeat this beast, lest he creates more trouble!”
Applebloom hoofpalmed.
“Just, just let me finish, sis’.”
She cleared her throat again.
“For the dragon had been burning crops on the edge of town. Your reward for the job is being able to take all you want from the dragon’s hoard, which is rumored to be large.”

Anyone have a suggestion on how I can do Applejack's and Applebloom's accents right? I'm having a hard time with that.