LGBTAI+ #52: Aces High

[SiuiS]

What's a boffer?

Scrubbing happens frequently?

A boffer is a padded you weapon. The type I'm referring to is the "PVC, pipe insulation foam and duct tape sword" type, costing about twenty five bucks American to make five or size of them.

Great in big households, where it's possible to go out and club each other for a few hours every night for a few months. Good cardio .

people who are really bad at wording things who manage to piss two or three of us off at once. There's a bit of infighting too, since we keep seeing the same virtual faces over and over again and we don't really agree on everything.

*waves* that would be me, I think.

[Eldest]

Heh, thanks for the flattery guys, but you don't need to lie to me :p

I won't say I look terrible, but I do look very decidedly masculine in that photo.

I wasn't actually lying, I don't see you as masculine in that picture. *shrug*

[Hazuki]

A boffer is a padded you weapon.

I have my own brand?

Great in big households, where it's possible to go out and club each other for a few hours every night for a few months. Good cardio .

That makes me smile. Don't know why. The idea of uninhibited fun is probably it. :3

[golentan]

I have to agree. I've never really liked saying nice, false things just for the sake of it. It's just a bad picture, though. Don't worry too much about it. You had fun and felt good, right? Then that's awesome!

Are we looking at the same person?

[SiuiS]

Sorry, I tried to type 'foam'. How that went wrong I do not know.

[Hazuki]

Sorry, I tried to type 'foam'. How that went wrong I do not know.

I messed up the quoting, so we're even.

Are we looking at the same person?

If it's the person on the far right, I agree with Jordan and Heliomance. Not that it's any of my business.

[Philemonite]

Heh, thanks for the flattery guys, but you don't need to lie to me :p

I won't say I look terrible, but I do look very decidedly masculine in that photo.

I wouldn't say you really look masculine, you look pretty neutral to me. I know that's not what you were going for, but it's not as bad as you think.

[Mono Vertigo]

Bluh, so my parents want me to be more open to them cause according to them that’s the only problem. So I told them about

a) the ****ty stuff at work - Reaction: just shake it off, like, not even a “hey, that sucks for you”

Thanks for the basic empathy!
There's not much advice one can give concerning that situation, but shutting up or expressing your compassion is still far better than "deal with it".

b) dysphoria / feeling crappy about my body to my mom - Reaction: “Well, I don’t have a perfect body either”

I just… this is why I don’t tell them stuff. Bluh.

There's a difference between not having a perfect body and not having the right kind of body.
Comfort/lack thereof concerning your own body might be more of a continuum than a binary acceptation/dislike, but it shouldn't be so hard to note the difference between "I'm not as pretty as I used to be" or "I wish I could lose that handful kilograms" and "Important parts of my body are the wrong ones AND they're also the parts society uses in order to identify me".

[Marnath]

I feel you both there. It's really depressing and annoying.

I also know this, for other reasons. My parents are... well I'm looking for a nicer word than "stupid" but I can't think of one so I'll just leave it at "Why exactly do I bother talking to these people, again?"

[Miriel]

Heh, thanks for the flattery guys, but you don't need to lie to me :p

I won't say I look terrible, but I do look very decidedly masculine in that photo.

I wasn't lying. It's not your best picture, perhaps, but you don't look masculine, from my point of view.

I feel you both there. It's really depressing and annoying.

Mine have stopped being weird now, though.

[CWater]

Bluh, so my parents want me to be more open to them cause according to them that’s the only problem. So I told them about

a) the ****ty stuff at work - Reaction: just shake it off, like, not even a “hey, that sucks for you”

b) dysphoria / feeling crappy about my body to my mom - Reaction: “Well, I don’t have a perfect body either”

I just… this is why I don’t tell them stuff. Bluh.

:( Ugh.. Sorry to hear they have that attitude. *pats shoulder* (I'm not good with hugs, sorry)

I also know this, for other reasons. My parents are... well I'm looking for a nicer word than "stupid" but I can't think of one so I'll just leave it at "Why exactly do I bother talking to these people, again?"

And in the end the answer approaches "I don't."? At least not about non-trivial things.

Though I haven't entirely given up on one of mine yet.

Mine have stopped being weird now, though.

At least something good on this subject then.

[Miriel]

New thingie on gender-neutral bathrooms and the questions I get when I talk about them.

[TomPliss]

Part of this sentence is missing :

I understand that we live in a climate of austerity, but no need to wave that as a grave menace when

[Thufir]

Went out Saturday night, had immense amounts of fun, felt very sexy. Just saw photos taken on the night, felt less sexy. Bah.

Spoiler: Bad photo of me

Show

It's important to remember though that one bad photo is not representative of the entire night. I've seen photos of nights out where some of my friends look frankly awful despite the fact I remember them looking amazing at the time. I wouldn't be surprised if your friends felt similarly on seeing that photo.

[Serpentine]

Went out Saturday night, had immense amounts of fun, felt very sexy. Just saw photos taken on the night, felt less sexy. Bah.

Spoiler: Bad photo of me

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I think you know I don't say things I don't really think just to make people feel better, right? No flattery from me. So:
It's an awkward angle, making your face look slightly odd, and yeah slightly masculine looking. But honestly it's no worse than any other woman would get - DEFINITELY no worse than I get.

Spoiler: Exhibits A, B & C. Far from the worst, cuz those don't end up online at all.

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Point being, it's a meh picture of your face, but well within the range of meh pictures that everyone gets.
Then there's the rest: I can definitely see why you were feeling sexy. That outfit, dayam. Quite teh hawtness. Your hair's looking really nice too, though maybe some slightly shorter bits at the front might frame your face a bit better?
All in all... Meh, suck up the imperfect photo and join the club, sister I'd like to see a shot of you standing up in that outfit.

[Coidzor]

Went out Saturday night, had immense amounts of fun, felt very sexy. Just saw photos taken on the night, felt less sexy. Bah.

Spoiler: Bad photo of me

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What, did they all manage to capture you at just the wrong angle like this one did? If so, that's just the luck of the draw when it comes to photographers and a setting where people aren't actually poseable.

Even Heidi Klum, Christie Brinkley, Emma Watson, Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, and whatever other examples you want to think of women who are or were famed for their beauty had or have angles which are less than flattering.

And laying sorta back so that one's clothing rumples and one has to both crane and smoosh one's neck to look at the camera to not just show off one's neck by looking straight up or whathaveyou is one of those things that can easily result in a less than flattering photo. If you'll cast your attention to the rest of the people in the photo, they're not exactly looking their best, either.

Hell, I'm a guy and there are angles where photographs make me look like some kind of slavering orc-person. Which, in case it wasn't clear, is totes unsexy to just about erryone.

[Mystic Muse]

Hell, I'm a guy and there are angles where photographs make me look like some kind of slavering orc-person. Which, in case it wasn't clear, is totes unsexy to just about erryone.

I know people who would be into that.

[Irish Musician]

Just caught up with "Girls with Slingshots" just now during lunch. Forgot exactly how much I love that comic.

[Miriel]

I got misgendered today. It'd been a long time. Meh. It hits harder when you don't get this nonsense often, I think.

[Kesnit]

New thingie on gender-neutral bathrooms and the questions I get when I talk about them.

Mentioning bathrooms made me remember an issue I had several years ago...

Spoiler: It's funny to look back on now...

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I worked in a commercial office building. The building had passcards that could be used to access the elevator before 9AM. However, you could only go to the floor that your keycard was set for before 9AM. (Since my office was on the 4th floor, I could only go to the 4th floor.) There were stairwells, but they were for emergency use only and you could only leave the stairwell on the first floor.

I was not ready to transition at work, but when I started passing more and more as male, I felt weird using the women's bathroom outside the office. However, I couldn't use the men's bathroom since that was the one the men in the office used. With a little exploration, I realized the bathrooms on the 5th floor were never locked. This was good, because it meant after 9AM, I could take the elevator to the 5th floor when I had to go.

However, I got to work between 8 and 8:30. And there would be mornings when I just could not hold it until 9... Which meant I was using the women's restroom on the 4th floor. Obviously, the women in my office didn't question that (since they knew me as female). But there were at least 2 other businesses on that floor - with women who did not know me.

Spoiler: How I solved that problem, sort of...

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If the door opened while I was in the stall, I stayed in the stall until the person had left. But I lived in fear that I would run into an unknown woman while entering or exiting.

So that is the story of my fear of using...the women's restroom!

[Serpentine]

Hell, I'm a guy and there are angles where photographs make me look like some kind of slavering orc-person.

I know that feel...

Spoiler

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[Heliomance]

What, did they all manage to capture you at just the wrong angle like this one did? If so, that's just the luck of the draw when it comes to photographers and a setting where people aren't actually poseable.

That's the only one that's actually full body.the others were all taken on the dance floor, and are just as flattering as you'd expect photos taken while dancing enthusiastically to metal to be :p

[Lentrax]

That's the only one that's actually full body.the others were all taken on the dance floor, and are just as flattering as you'd expect photos taken while dancing enthusiastically to metal to be :p

Incredibly amazing and tasteful from an artistic point of view?

[Septimus Faber]

That's the only one that's actually full body.the others were all taken on the dance floor, and are just as flattering as you'd expect photos taken while dancing enthusiastically to metal to be :p

Meh. If the camera can't capture the true beauty of an enthusiastic metal dance, you need to find a new camera.*

*From the perspective of an enthusiastic metal dancer, namely myself.

[Heliomance]

Meh. If the camera can't capture the true beauty of an enthusiastic metal dance, you need to find a new camera.*

*From the perspective of an enthusiastic metal dancer, namely myself.

Fine, here you go. I warn you, I look ridiculously derpy.

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[byzantineblue]

So um
hello
I'm 17, going to college in about a year. I'm MtF trans and I kind of don't know what to do about it. I mean, I want to get HRT therapy at some point? But I don't know how to go about getting it or how long it takes or how much it costs. Or really, what I'm going to do. In the future. The future is ominous and threatening.
Advice? Reassurance? ...Hugs?

[Sobol]

*Hugs byzantineblue*

Welcome.

[Miriel]

So um
hello
I'm 17, going to college in about a year. I'm MtF trans and I kind of don't know what to do about it. I mean, I want to get HRT therapy at some point? But I don't know how to go about getting it or how long it takes or how much it costs. Or really, what I'm going to do. In the future. The future is ominous and threatening.
Advice? Reassurance? ...Hugs?

Where do you live? Standard ways to access treatment can vary between countries.

Here, in Quebec, you need a referral from a psychologist to get hormones from an endocrinologist. Some places also have informed consent policies for hormones.

A general rule is to avoid gender identity clinics if at all possible, but in some countries, it's mandatory to have health expenses covered by the health system.

*hug* It will go well

[Serpentine]

What? Why avoid gender identity clinics? Isn't that exactly why they exist, to help people with gender identity issues work out what they want and how to get it?

[golentan]

I got misgendered today. It'd been a long time. Meh. It hits harder when you don't get this nonsense often, I think.

I've misgendered people a couple times. Never deliberately, and most often with cis people. I'm sorry it hurt you, but I hope you know it can happen to anybody with a slip of the tongue, and that it's not necessarily a reflection on you or a hostile thing, and you should feel free to feel good about yourself.