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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-07-01, 04:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This is so wrong... And yet, so fun.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-07-02, 05:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
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2009-07-02, 06:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-02, 06:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
AAaergh, aaargh, it burns, kill it, KILL IT! But don't forget to reanimate it later.
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2009-07-02, 07:15 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh my god, I thought this thread would never be brought back!
But yeah, that was a good story.It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-07-02, 07:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- Mannheim, Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
OK, let's try this.
4, 20 (19 (15, 11, 13, 9)), 20 (10), 16
Hinjo, Leeky Windstaff, Thog, The entire Hobogoblin army, The orc Chieftain (all gender switched), American High School
I think I just rolled the script for High School Musical.
4, 20 (11), 4, 7
IFCC (gender switched), Roy's archon, Aliens made them do it.
Well, who else could.
1, 2, 10, 2
Durkon, Elan, love potion
That sounds sick. Maybe I'll do it.
Off to write an epic.Last edited by jolus; 2009-07-02 at 07:22 AM.
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2009-07-02, 12:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-07-02, 04:18 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
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2009-07-02, 04:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-02, 05:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
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2009-07-02, 05:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-02, 06:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I have something weirder. 0_o
Haley, Haley's Father, O-Chul, Roy's Archon. With Adultery. (3, 20, 19, 11, 3, 9, 4)
Someone help me. In better hopes, I tried again. OH boy.
Bandit King, Crystal, The Snarl. (2, 19, 7, 6, 10)
Someone try to write these. I DARE you. Because I just can't.
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2009-07-02, 07:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Why does everyone get these insane ones. I always get tame ones, like BelkarxWanda Firebaugh.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-07-02, 08:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
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2009-07-02, 08:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
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2009-07-02, 08:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Y'know, nothing on this thread made me want to tear my eyes out. But then I was looking though the archive, and I realised Tsukiko is carrying a little stuffed Xykon doll in 653. And it weirded me out.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-07-02, 08:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-07-03, 02:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-03, 02:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
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2009-07-03, 02:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- The land of corn
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Give me a couple days and I'll see how I can make Male Tsukiko and Roy with police uniforms work in a short fanfic.
Actually make it tomorrow or the day after. I also rolled up a Celia x TiVo unrequited love story.Last edited by SaintRidley; 2009-07-03 at 02:46 AM.
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2009-07-03, 02:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Ansom, Miko, Lien, Eye of Fear and Flame, Durkon under the Effects of Thor's Might, Vinnie Doombats, Twolls
And... something to PG-13 to mention on these boards... I'm scared.
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2009-07-03, 03:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Ansom and Miko were born for each other. And the girls love Vinnie, he can be terribly charming. Everything else... Not so much.
This replaces the Erfworld unit table
Spoiler
This is so optional there aren't even words for it. Do not touch unless you intend to write!
I tried to use characters most people on these boards would be familiar with.
Spoiler
Other random character table
1 Harry Potter (Harry Potter)
2 JD (Scrubbs)
3 Edward Cullen (Twilight)
4 Frodo+Samwise (Lord Of The Rings)
5 Raistlin Majere (Dragonlance)
6 Drizzt Do'Urden (Forgotten Realms)
7 Darth Vader (Star Wars)
8 The Joker (Batman)
9 The Emperor (Star Wars)
10 Optimus Prime (Transformers)
11 Wolverine (Marvel Comics)
12 The tellitubbies (The tellitubbies)
13 James Bond (James Bond)
14 Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones)
15 Conan The Barbarian (Conan)
16 Spock (star treck)
17 BA (The A team [Mr T])
18 roll twice
19 Roll four times
20 President Obama
Warning, the sheer abuse to anything resembling literature is likely to warp the very space time continuum!
Edward Cullen, Harry Potter, Raistlin Majere and Xykon. Also Tsukiko, and Lien, and the cliffport chief of police. Stanley the Tool.
Needs more. Winston Churchill.
Now the contrived premise.
Police uniform. French maid outfit.Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-07-03 at 03:56 AM.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-03, 03:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-03, 03:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I know. It will take me a while.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-03, 03:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
*Sits back to wait*
*Twiddles thumbs*
*Refreshes thread*This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-03, 03:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Fine. I'll do it.
But you do one too.
Maybe not about that group though.Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-07-03 at 03:54 AM.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-03, 03:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I already did an V x Xykon one. I get a break until after someone else posts one, or until someone suggests an idea so disturbing I have to write it to get it out of my head.
*hint*
I wouldn't mind drawing something though...Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-03 at 04:01 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-03, 04:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
here we go then. But only because you asked so nicely.
The Epic of more crack then should be allowed to exist.
Spoiler
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill awoke slowly, blinking his bleary eyes. He seemed to be on a beach, though which beach it was difficult to say. Wherever he was it certainly wasn't beloved England. There were no signs of habitation. Grumbling in protest, he pushed himself to his feet, taking his cane he began to walk down.
"There he is." said a voice, somehow deep and whiny all at once. "Oh Titans no, this isn't right. I shoulda stuck with that boopin idiot I got before."
"What do you mean?" Churchill asked, staring around in shock, then finally looking down to see a round faced man staring up at him. The man was dressed in antique amour, strangely colored, and clutching a gigantic toy hammer. At first he took him to be a child, then some sort of dwarf, but he noted the proportions were all wrong. What was this person?
"I mean, I shoulda got the best casters eva, and the best general too. Instead I get a..."
"Who the devil are you?" Churchill explained, his face contorting in shock.
To his surprise, the small man (if that's what he was)
smiled in a way vaguely reminiscent of a predetor.
"I'm the one who'll you'll be taking orders from." He sneered. The effect was rather ruined by a few pops behind him.
The fist figure to appear was a gawky kin, skinny and untidy with a prominent scar on his forehead and what appeared to be a dress. The next was a tall, white haired man, golden skinned and dressed in a black velvet robe vaguely reminiscent of a friar.
"Damn it! I knew we should have tried broomsticks! Now what... Where am I."
The golden skin man turned to look at the boy who spoke. "I was hoping you could tell me. It's just as well I wasn't hoping very hard, judging by the look of you."
The short man's grin was beginning to slide. They looked like casters, but he didn't see any stats...
"Hey! I'll have you know that..."
"Shut up." The man in the robes hissed, and the boys protestations vanished.
Stanley shrugged. He'd make do.
"Right. I'm your boss, you work for me. First step is getting back to..."
The man in the robe glared at him, his eyes widening so alarmingly Stanley felt his mouth dry.
"Do not presume to consider me your equal."
Stanley nodded, gulping.
"So why are we flying, boss?"
"While Redcloak pulls his head out of his arse and starts being useful, I'm going to track down that bloody elf and knock it down. Then I am going to kill it's family, everyone it ever cared about and drown it in their blood. Then I'll reanimate so I can do it again. Then I'll summon a demon so it can invent new ways of causing pain so I can try it out on the Paladin."
Tsukiko's eyes were clouding with something, and her lips were parted. She licked them a few times, but seemed enraptured to the lich's every word.
"And then," Xykon continued, seemingly unaware as they flew towards the signal "I'm going to get started on the good stuff."
"So I am to understand that you tried to get the perfect leader and caster combination to win a war of some sort? Using magic?" Churchill said. He wanted to protest that magic did not exist, but was enough a realist to know that what be pointless and not helpful.
Stanley nodded.
"Well send me back." The dark robed man hissed.
Stanley shook his head. "Hey, wherever the hell I am, it's not Efdup. I don't even know how to get myself back."
The boy opened his mouth to speak, but the black robed man silenced him with a glare.
"Hello, any chance you could give me directions?" Said a pleasantly tenor voice. "An attractive man walked towards the group, his skin glimmering as though he had hundreds of crystals embedded in his skin.
"Great." Stanley said, rubbing his brow. "Another stupid one."
"Hinjo, who are those people on the beach?" Asked Lien. She was wearing the one outfit that had remained in her cabin, a french maid outfit.
Hinjo shrugged. He had oficially given up trying to make sense of the world. All he'd wanted in life was to be given the opportunity to rule the city as his uncle had, but had been pushed from occurrence to occurrence until he'd given up.
"I don't know." He admitted. "But we should probably find out."
Spoiler
"Ooooh, dibs on the sparkley one."
"Too bad. Their all mine."
With that Xykon landed amidst the gathered crowd, his hands flaring up with dark energy. "Right. I don't kow who you are, nor do I care. But there is only one way this is going down, and..." He was interrupted by the boy, who drew a short stick and said in a clear, ringing voice "Stupefy.
The stick emitted a beam of pure energy that bounced harmlessly of the lich's skull. "Right. For that I'm going to stick your little toy where the sun don't shine." Xykon growled, advancing on Harry, who quickly backed away.
Lien took Hinjo's spare katana and advanced on the skeletal sorcerer, only to find herself yanked behind by a strong hand. "With hat." whispered a bald, mustachioed man "all things are possible. Hate, and the blessings of dark gods of vengeance!"
Stanley laughed insanely and brandished his toy hammer.
Finally Raistlin could take it no more. "Epic Permanent Mass dominate monster." He said. Every one stopped and looked at him. "Do something equally pathetic." He snarled.
With that they all began fondling and touching each other. Raistlin shook his head and started to walk away. Pathetic.
Edward ran. He'd been running since the skeleton had arrived. He had to get out of this, this...
"Hi." Said a voice, and he felt a delicate hand slap him on the bum. "Your cute. Lets play." He turned to see a dark clad girl around Bella's age, with pigtails, a delicate face, a slim, almost boyish build who was wiggling her hips suggestively.
He flushed. "I'm... I'm sorry, but you see I'm kind of, kind..."
"Oh, your making a mistake, that wasn't a request." he girl said. Her eyes glowed. "Dominate person."
This bit is not explicit, but it's close.
Spoiler
Harry felt Stanley crawling on top of him and starting to kiss him. Stanley started to kiss down along his jawline, and he soon got down to his neck. He started to bite and suck on one particular spot, and it made Harry moan. Stanley knew how to make the man beg, and he fully intended to do it. He loved having power over other people. He loved controling every aspect of their life. And he especially loved marking them as his property, via actualities, intimidation, or, failing that, the hickeys and love bites that he gave him.
He kept sucking and biting on one spot until he had made a fairly big bruise there. He looked down at it and smiled. He licked it once more before he moved back up to his mouth to give him a forceful kiss. He bit Harry's tongue as it slithered into his mouth, and the wizard gave a moan as his hands searched for the clasps in Stanley's amour. At last finding them he released the clasps, running his fingers through the man's hairy chest, delighting at the feel.
Off to the side, Hinjo and the chief of Police were pawing at each others clothing, the older man rubbing his hands on the lean muscles on Hinjo's torso. The chief of police tasted of smoke and sweat and beer, while Hinjo was like fine southern wine. Nibbling on his lovers lower lip The older man started to leave scratch marks down Hinjo's back as he tried to pull him closer, his hips bucking unconsciously. The Police chief began to slide his hand lower.
Lien shrieked and moaned in a bizarre parody of lust as Xykon puppeted her body, his mastery over magic more then offsetting his lack of physical capabilities. Surprisingly, he was enjoying this. When the spell wore off he and Tsukiko would have a lot to talk about. If, you know, they found time to talk. Lien shrieked as she climaxed again, and was panting heavily, but Xykon would not relent. Manipulating her through the motions again and again.
Raistlin looked up. They were disrupting him again. Fine, he didn't care. He didn't need to save his magic anymore, did he? Calling down fire from the sky he left them to burn to death, leaving only charred ashes behind.
Tsukiko was glaring at the vampire, who had a sheepish expression on his face. "Come on. That was like twenty seconds. What the hell. Have you ever done this before?"
"Ah... I have now?"
"You are the biggest disgrace to your species." She sneered. "Cure serious wounds."
Edward collapsed into dust.
"Tsukiko?" Said Xykon, his bones blackened and his robes burned off his body. "We need to talk."
I didn't really use Winston. Ah well.Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-07-03 at 04:59 AM.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
-
2009-07-03, 05:04 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-03 at 05:04 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-03, 05:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008