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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-13, 06:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The Redcloak + Miko was one of Zanaril's rolls. O-Chul + The IFCC was mizzim's. Those rolls (at least Zanaril's) were made with http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm
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2009-09-13, 06:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Land of Clocks and Stars
- Gender
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2009-09-13, 06:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I lol'd.
This is so going in the OP.
Also, it seems the general consensus is to keep the thread in the OotS. Since that is the case, we need titles!
Edit: Julia x Roy's Sword. This so needs to be made into a banner. I would proudly display it in my sig for the rest of forever.Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-13 at 06:40 PM.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-13, 06:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-13, 06:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Ah, thank you for clearing that up, Introbulus.
So lets see... That's requests for me to write the Eye of Fear and Flame x Haley (with a French maid costume in there, somewhere...) and the Kazumi x Therkla pairings... Where the two Mizzim mentioned challenges for me as well, or did he just feel like pointing those out?
I'll get to work on these later on. I've got to read King Oedipus for class tommorrow, first... And lemme tell you, that story puts a lot of these stories to shame.Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-13, 06:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-13, 07:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Bozzok + (The Snarl + ((Kazumi + ((The oracle + Lord Kubota) + Belkar)) + (The oracle + Crystal)))
Anyone want to try that one?Use Twitter? Subscribe to @oots_update to always be informed of the latest OotS.
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2009-09-13, 07:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
No.
Btw, I know I'm kinda late for it, but I vote to keep the Crack Pairing Thread here in the OotS sub-forum. It makes more sense to keep it here, and it'll get a lot more notice from random OotS readers who decide to check the forum and see if anything important is being discussed...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-13, 07:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-13, 08:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Alabama
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Hmmmmm...
SpoilerThe night desert air stung Elan's eyes as he stood guard over the small encampment. It had been a few days since they arrived at the Western Continent and already the pale boy was getting sunburned. He looked over a few meters away and saw their leader, Roy Greenhilt, standing strong and proud in another direction. He had taken his armor off so he stood there in his blue pants. Elan watched the sand brush against the sculpted brown chest and muscles. It was hard to believe that just 36 hours ago, Roy was nothing more than a skeleton.
"Elan! I thought I told you to watch the south end of the camp." Roy said with his usually harsh tone as the boy drew nearer.
"Roy. Have I ever told you about Therkla?" Elan asked.
"No." Roy took a swig of his canteen. "I don't really care to hear."
"Well," Elan ignored him. "I tried everything I could to save her, but I...I didn't."
Roy snorted. It was so typical of Elan to prove how worthless he was in situations. His mind drew back to that event in the hotel where it was ROY who had to change into a woman to get them both away from assassins who thought he was the king.
"Because I wasn't you."
Roy turned to him, very confused.
"I wasn't as strong as you are, Roy. I mean, you're like what, a few levels higher than I am? A trained swordsman? While me," Elan chuckled. "Just a year ago I was a bard singing to you in a doungen. I-I look up to you. You're my idol, my hero. You're the best buddy I could ever have."
Roy wasn't sure if it was the desert heat that was affecting him or Elan's moving speech, but all he knew was that Elan was now stroking his arms with his long, thin fingers.
"But most of all..." Elan said. "I...I love you."
Suddenly, Elan kissed Roy on the lips. Roy was too shocked to do anything but pass out right then and there.
TO BE CONTINUED!!Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-13 at 08:58 PM.
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2009-09-13, 11:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Here and there...
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-13, 11:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
(Edit: Indeed, Roy did seem kinda like a jerk. But I felt that Elan was portrayed very well... Good job on that one!)
Aw, crap...
I just realized that I had two characters confused. I had Tsukiko and Kazumi mixed up, so the idea I was working on was really "Tsukiko x Therkla" instead of Kazumi x Therkla. Crap. Oh well... I can make KxT work, only it'll be a little more difficult...
But, so that this post isn't a total waste of valuable thread space, here's a delicious slice of crack cake, free of charge.
Yor x Belkar (Aliens made them do it)
Spoiler
There was a bright flash of light, and Belkar suddenly found himself standing in a large circular room. There was a large balcony of some sort that ran along the wall, and there were... little green men staring down at him. Belkar arched an eyebrow, and asked: "Um... what's going on here?"
"You're being abducted..." one of the bug-eyed freaks responded in a low, nasaly tone.
"For naughty reasons..." another of the aliens added with a rather creepy giggle.
"Naughty... purposes?" Belkars eyebrow rose even higher. "Naughty as in, I get to kill things?"
"No..." one of the little green men shook his head. "Naughty as in we're going to derive carnal pleasure from watching your partake in sexual activities."
"So... you're going to watch me have get freaky with somebody?" Belkar's eyebrow couldn't have risen any higher. "For your own enjoyment?"
"Essentially, yes..." several of the aliens nodded and/or shrugged.
"Works for me!" Belkar grinned. "I'm not usually one to please a crowd, but if the chick's hot enough, you'll get no complaints from me. So... where is she?"
"He should be arriving any second now..." one of the aliens replied cheerfully.
"Wait..." Belkar's grin eroded into a confused look of horror. "He?"
There was a flash of light, and a loud zapping noise. A pair of strong hands suddenly gripped Belkar's shoulders, and the words that followed assured him that all of his worst nightmares were about to become true...
"POWER ATTACK!!"
: ...
Me: I'm just going to walk away now.Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-09-13 at 11:58 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-14, 01:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The new die roller is win. On the first try, I got Inkyrius + Inkyrius with Aliens Made Them Do It and broke down laughing.
And Zz'dtri + (Hilgya + (Genderswitched Snarl))
Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-09-14 at 01:20 AM.
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2009-09-14, 01:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Netherlands
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh dear:
(Gender-switched The Hydra) + (Gender-switched Xykon) - Love/hate relationship
Soon Kim (incorporeal) + Lord Kubota - Unrequited love
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
Kazumi + Haley - Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
Sounds...plausible.
Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might + Mr Scruffy - Stuck on a desert island
Um...OUCH?
Haley's Dad + Hilgya - Everyone is a furry version of themselves
*reaches for the brain bleach*
(Teevo + Roy's sword) + The Cliffport chief of police - Snowed in
*repeats*
The chimera + Thanh - Stuck on a desert island
Bo-ring.
Elan + Inkyrius - Pink frills and white lace
Plausible
Teevo + Therkla - In the afterlife
Plausible
The Eye of Fear and Flame + Zz'Dtri - American high school setting
OOOOH YES!
And just for fun, another time:
Therkla + (Vaarsuvius + Vaarsuvius) - American high school setting
I want to see this written. V's self-love is evident, but where does Threkla come in?
*tries some more, each crackier than the other*
And then there's this one:
Vaarsuvius + All of the Demon Roaches at once - In the afterlife
Is this a plot predictor?Last edited by Dra-Goon; 2009-09-14 at 01:40 AM.
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2009-09-14, 01:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Netherlands
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I think there's still some problems with the code. I keep mostly getting five of the nearly 20 situations, and I just got this:
(Gender-switched (Gender-switched Lien)) + Julio Scoundrel
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
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2009-09-14, 02:15 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I... don't understand what the brackets mean.
Funny stories, Belkster11 and Lycan 01!Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-14, 02:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
is Roy/Haley a viable matchup for this thread?
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2009-09-14, 03:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- The Blessed Geometry
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
VxSangwaan
VxChuck (the Arcane Trickster from the Thieves Guild)
VxWarthog (The Headmaster of Julia and Pompey's school)
VxGaldoof (or whatever the Fellowship of the Ming's Gandlaf is called)
VxTurban Guy (Foe-Yay!)
VxEve and/or Larry (The Potion Makers Who Don't Know Economics)
VxThose Azurite Wizards Who Insisted A Ninth Level Spell Must Take Up Nine Pages.
VxOne Of Julia's Friends...kind of creepy...I imagine V just hanging outside of a school full of teenage girls, admiring them all as they passed by.
VxDrunkAzuriteWizard works best, since he mentions he's a baker...just enough to remind him of Kyrie.
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2009-09-14, 04:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I don't know, but what I know is that it happened in the House of Fanservice.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-14, 06:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Alabama
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I've always found that Roy was a jerk whenever he talked to Elan. I mean, he once even made it clear when Elan was kidnapped that he couldn't have cared less.
Oh, and further adventures of ElanxRoy.
SpoilerElan woke up in his tent the next morning to a familiar and heart-warming sight: Haley in her gown snuggled up under his arm, using his chest as a pillow.
Normally, he'd be elated, but something was bothering him. Something about what he did last night.
"Why did I kiss Roy?" he thought. "I know he and I are best buddies and I admire him but..." he looked back at Haley. For a split instance, he realized with horror that if she found out he had kissesd the party leader, she would leave him.
"Maybe I should talk to V. He'd know about this." Elan concluded. He gently, oh so gently, pushed Haley off of him, tucked her into the blankets, got dressed, then walked out.
V was near the campfire floating. This was the first time he's seen her trancing in months. He hesitated to interrupt her.
"Uh...Vaarsuvius?" Elan said meekly. "Can I talk to you?"
No response.
"It's about Roy."
V's head tilted a bit, showing that she heard him.
"What did you and Roy do that merits interrupting the first trance I've had in months?" V growled. Elan's heart lurched. He had made a terrible mistake by interrupting her. The wizard elf spun around sharply, her peircing eyes bore into his soul.
"Well?" she asked.
"Last night, I was doing guard duty along with Roy." Elan said slowly. "But then I...I..."
"Out with it." V said.
"I saw something in Roy that I've never seen before. It was...some admiration and..well...it was just unusual. Was it like that when Belkar-"
"When the halfling did...the 'event' on New Years back in Azure City," V explained cautiously, keeping a wary eye on Belkar. "His already befuddled brains had been...befuddled even more. Perhaps you had too much to drink?"
"No," Elan scratched his head. "I was drinking water, not beer. Maybe Belkar used a scroll?"
"Belkar has the mentil acuity of a lettuce!" V snapped. "He would need a high Wisdom score to even contemplate casting it."
V calmed down.
"Perhaps your feelings for Sir Greenhilt has grown for the past few months you were parted?" V suggested. "He is truely admirable."
"Yeah, but I..." Elan struggled to say the damning words. "I..."
"You what? Out with it, Elan!" V waved her hands impatiently.
"IKISSEDROYANDSAIDILOVEDHIM!!" Elan said very fast.
V was stunned, trying to process what Elan just told him. He did what? All V heard was a gibberish: "I killed Roy and said I rolled him." It didn't take her long to subsitute the correct words. She put her hands on her head as she was hit by a wave of stupidity.
"Oh, for the love of the ancient Elven gods!" she muttered. "You kissed him? What malady are you sufferng from to cause you to do this?"
Elan shook his head.
"Don't try to explain it." V sighed.
"But what if it's possible?" Elan said. "I mean, you and your mate are-"
"MY MATE AND I ARE NOT SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER!" V suddenly screamed at the boy's face with a seething anger the boy had never seen before. His lower lip quivered a bit.
"My apologies, Elan." V pounded her head in frustration. "It is not you I'm angry with. But I would recommend talking this out with Sir Greenhilt. I've got too many problems of my own to deal with. Go now."
V then turned around and began to rise again, getting back into her trance. Elan knew she was right. He had to go talk to Roy.Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-14 at 06:26 AM.
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2009-09-14, 06:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh, sweet, stupid Elan. You don't know it yet, but Haley wouldn't mind sharing you with Roy.
Is it wrong I feel more sorry for V than for Elan?
(And you forgot the 'i' in suffering.)Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-14, 07:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Alabama
- Gender
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2009-09-14, 07:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-14, 07:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Yes, that result is possible when rolling on the tables for real, although perhaps I should have my code detect when it tries to gender-switch something an even number of times. Would be difficult with the (rather idiotic) way it's set up now, though. Not sure what you mean by "I keep mostly getting five of the nearly 20 situations"
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2009-09-14, 08:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
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2009-09-14, 08:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
SpoilerLook, I got out my crayons for you.
=== Vaarsuvius' Diary (SECRET!! DO NOT READ!) ===
14 September 1409 -- Monday -- Partially Cloudy
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius were walking together in the park. They sat down for a rest and Aarindarius saw some butterflies flying by. They were very pretty butterflies, and one was purple and one was lilac and they were spiralling around each other.
"Aren't those butterflies beautiful?" asked Aarindarius. "They are just like you and me."
Vaarsuvius was head over heels with joy. "I love you, Aarindarius!" she exclaimed. "I love you too, Vaarsuvius!" Aarindarius responded happily. Then they got married and became famous magic teachers and lived happily ever after.
The end.
===
Heh heh. Also, I'm not sure if anyone saw the edit in my post on the previous page, but would anyone mind making an avatar/banner for the Aandy/Kyrie/V thing I posted a couple of pages earlier?Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-09-14 at 08:58 AM. Reason: Argh! I broke the forums. Sorry.
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2009-09-14, 09:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh, young and romantic Vaarsuvius is so cute!
You mean this picture?
Can't you just resize it to fit the banner limitations here? Or do you mean something more elaborate?Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-14, 09:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Here and there...
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
For some reason, I see The Eye of Fear and Flame being a Principal-figure in the American High School setting, and Zz'Dtri being the "bad student". ...D: Someone help me.
I dunno about that...I mean that was a one-time thing, and he even admitted it was wrong that very night. Sure, I think he could be a little nicer to Elan, but...well, that is a good point actually...it is sadly in-character for Roy to be a jerk when someone isn't "Useful" to him.
:3 Wriiiiite iiiit!
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2009-09-14, 09:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I know. I love V to bits.
Can't you just resize it to fit the banner limitations here? Or do you mean something more elaborate?
Also, there are banner limitations? What size is that?
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2009-09-14, 09:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The banner limitations are 468x120 pixels.
I wish I could help, but I'm only proficient with making OotS style stick figures following Trazoi's tutorial...Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.