Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier

[Superglucose]

Wait. Wait wait wait. Juuuuuust a moment here pally. You're not a jerk? Nah, you coo', supes, you coo'.

Ok ok it's true, but I"m not a judgmental jerk! Except for those idiots who deserve it, of course.

[arguskos]

Ok ok it's true, but I"m not a judgmental jerk! Except for those idiots who deserve it, of course.

[SammyLVoice]The white text, DID YOU READ IT?![/SammyLVoice]

Also, jerkitude is subjective. Unless I meet you, I'm hardly qualified to judge such a thing. Was but making light joke.

[Superglucose]

As was I, but I was the butt of my own joke (as often I am the butt of everyone elses)

[MountainKing]

Not me.

I need someone to spoil rotten dammit.

Man, how come you guys keep bein' all like-minded and stuff? I too, am not happy being single. The best I get is neutral or contented, but never happy. I am also, as I hinted at, a fan of the spoiling of someone else.

[Coidzor]

As was I, but I was the butt of my own joke (as often I am the butt of everyone elses)

Well, at least you're not just a butt like I am.

I am also, as I hinted at, a fan of the spoiling of someone else.

And me, I just enjoy boudoirs and am too incompetent to get into them reliably as a single. Lousy lack of seduction skills. Lousy incompetence.

ION: I am turning into a flirt machine. This is strange and annoying. That is all.

[arguskos]

And me, I just enjoy boudoirs

Who doesn't?

and am too incompetent to get into them reliably as a single.

Amen.

Lousy lack of seduction skills. Lousy incompetence.

Amen^2.

ION: I am turning into a flirt machine. This is strange and annoying. That is all.

That sounds like the best robot ever.

Researcher: "Good morning, FLRT-E."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "Good morning. My, your hair looks nice."
Researcher: "Uh... thank you."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "Would you like to get some coffee?"
Researcher: "FLRT-E, you're a robot. You can't drink coffee."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "I could for you."
Researcher (to another researcher): "Why'd we make him, again?"

[MountainKing]

Wait, that robot already exists. I told you, I'm a Terminator of love.

"I have extensive files."

[Eadin]

That sounds like the best robot ever.

Researcher: "Good morning, FLRT-E."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "Good morning. My, your hair looks nice."
Researcher: "Uh... thank you."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "Would you like to get some coffee?"
Researcher: "FLRT-E, you're a robot. You can't drink coffee."
FLRT-E "Flirty": "I could for you."
Researcher (to another researcher): "Why'd we make him, again?"

I want one !

[Superglucose]

Wait, that robot already exists. I told you, I'm a Terminator of love.

I think a flirting bot is different from something that terminates love...

[MountainKing]

I was reprogrammed by Cyborg Sean Connery and sent back through time to romance you! Come with me if you want to live!

So, I think I'd like to ask for a touch of advice (shock! gasp! horror!). There's a girl I know, whom I've been out of touch with for a while, but recently we've started talking again. She's just ended a relationship with somebody. Her name is Sofia and she's Ukrainian (my eastern European blood is screaming with joy), annnnnd she's pretty much awesome.

I'm not hunting for a relationship, but what I *would* like to do is re-connect with an old friend (since, we all know how well my other old friendship is doing), and hang out with somebody new. Ish. Maybe different is more accurate.

However, I *did* spend three hours making out with her in my truck a few years ago at like, 1 AM on New Year's Day. That was fun. I wouldn't be opposed to any similar such shenanigans (though I am certainly not holding my breath) happening again... but I definitely understand that she needs time to regroup. Hell, *I* still need time to *finish* regrouping.

With all that in mind, what do you guys think? Good idea?

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I should mention, Sofia lives ~30 minutes away, as opposed to, y'know... ~725 miles away.

[Superglucose]

Just say "Hi." If you need further inspiration, go read the XKCD comic: choices #4

[MountainKing]

Oh, nooo, I have no trouble with that part. I've already started talking to her again and what have you. I just meant on the general topic of hanging out with her, and maybe somewhere down the line encouraging... behaviors. You know what kind.

[Superglucose]

So tell her you want to hang out. I am seeing no problems here!

[Coidzor]

Man, when a friend starts bringing around one of their friends who consistently and purposefully acts like as much of a ********** as possible towards you and your friend claims to still view you as a friend despite not giving a **** about the needless BS, really makes you want to banhammer them both from life.

[Superglucose]

You know I had a similar situation until my best friend was like "Hey Erin, why are you treating my best friend like ****?" and she was like "... I... have no clue... wow." "Can you stop?" "Yeah sure, no problem."

I have noticed I am EXTREMELY ABRASIVE in this mood when people aren't prepared for it. I think it's party of why I have so many close friends but few just "friends"

[Coidzor]

Ah well, Baleeted.

[xPANCAKEx]

well sorry to be the fly in the ointment guys - but being single ROCKS...

yes, i will admit that while i have no desire to be single forever, getting out of a crappy relationship recently reminded me that being 'alone' isn't neccisarily a bad thing if you've got the right friends to surround yourself with

[Superglucose]

crappy relationshiph

That's the heart of what I'm saying.

Good Relationship > No Relationship >>>> Bad Relationship

[xPANCAKEx]

good relationships are very few and far between - so for the time being be happy, infact be JUBILANT that you're not in a bad one

[Coidzor]

Being single is meh, tabula rasa. Being lonely is bleh, of course. Being getting with fly honeys without having to put up with silly emotional BS, is, of course, baller.

And you shouldn't have to be happy that you're not in an abusive relationship.

[Superglucose]

Being single is meh, tabula rasa. Being lonely is bleh, of course. Being getting with fly honeys without having to put up with silly emotional BS, is, of course, baller.

A) I have no interest in anything shallow and B) are you telling me that your casual... play... really has no emotional BS in it at all? I find that insanely hard to believe.

And you shouldn't have to be happy that you're not in an abusive relationship.

+1

[xPANCAKEx]

who said abusive? it was just crappy

think of it this way: if you're single you can date who you like, do what you want, and you dont have to worry about it upsetting someone else too much - you're free to do as you please

excercise that freedom, enjoy life, even be a "baller" if you must - at least if you're single you have the potential to do many things, so dont sit back and squander it. Get out there, date, flirt, enjoy the summer, and have fun

if you're in a bad relationship, usually the only positive is that you can free yourself from it almost any time you want

[MountainKing]

Eww, enjoy summer? Summer is for driving through college campuses and watching ladies go jogging. Now AUTUMN, there's a season for you! Especially with semesters starting; I love book stores and ladies in scarves. The weather is nicer, and much easier to compliment the finer gender in, and if it all falls through? Who cares, it's freaking autumn! :D

Also, I think what Coid was trying to say isn't that their no-strings playtime oft does NOT come free of emotional BS, and that they'd prefer it if the emotional BS was strictly absent.

[Syka]

Also, there is a level of freedom in singlehood that no amount of communication can recreate in a relationship unless you have a very, VERY understanding partner.

For instance, there were a few non-profits and other organizations I was thinking of applying to. To give you an idea of how wide spread: Sacramento, Seattle, Washington D.C., Boston, and London were headquarters for some. The stress it would put on my relationship is greater than the benefit I would get for working with them. If I wasn't in a relationship, I would (literally) have no constraints on where I need to look for a job come graduation day.

As I said, my relationship is way more important to me than that. But I can't say a little of me doesn't miss the freedom of not having to worry about whether a significant move will effect someone.

[Superglucose]

Maybe I've been doing it wrong then? Our lives come first, and we are a part of each other's lives, but still... if life calls me to Dubai and it calls her to Argentina, then it's goodbye.

[ForzaFiori]

So, my relationship life just took a definite turn for the better.

As many of the people who frequent these thread might remember, I have some... Really bad timing and choices with relationships. One of the worst (timing wise) was with one of my best friends. We seemed to have this horrible schedule of me liking her when she's taken, then me getting a gf and her being single and liking me.

for the first time since 9th grade (and I'm about to enter college) WE'RE BOTH SINGLE AND LIKE EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME!!!

YAY!

so we've been talking back and forth and stuff (since she's out of town right now, its about all we can do) and have decided to take things real slow, and for now just be "more than friends" but not exactly committed, because in August, she'll be moving ~1.5, 2 hours away to Lander U, while I'll be staying here to go to Clemson. With any luck however, we'll be able to get through that and actually start a true relationship.

It's been a good week.

I just really needed to tell someone, and it's weird to talk to my mom about that, and my friends are long since tired of hearing me talk about her after the past 4 years.

[Syka]

Forza, good luck. :) It's kind of how Oz and I got together on a longer time scale, lol. When we met we were both in relationships (and liked each other, without telling). Then my relationship ended. I started dating someone else. His relationship ended. We didn't get a chance to let each other know we liked one another.

By the time we were both single again, it was a year later and I had moved 3 hours away. As long as at least one of you has reliable transportation (car, train, etc), it's definitely a doable situation. Communication is really the key, and trying to always know when you'll next be able to visit- even if that visit is months away or it's a tentative date.

[MeatShield#236]

Good luck, man. That's all I can say.

[xPANCAKEx]

ForzaFiori

good luck - one minor note of caution (sorry to be captain buzzkill), but sometimes the reality is much less enjoyable than the dream. If things turn sour or arnt working out then dont be afraid to put it on hold or call it off. That way you can stay friends, and maybe, if things are better in future and you STILL both like each other you can give it another shot

as for now though, i hope it goes well

[Syka]

Oh yeah, Super. It's not that I HAVE to. It's more that...my desire to go to, say, London is no where near outweighed by my desire to A. not do long distance and B. not lose Oz. A way to avoid both outcomes is to not go. If it was something I really, really wanted...I'd be going.

But, for me at this point, the relationship>significant location change for career.

I don't know how to explain it other than it's not something imposed by my SO. However, there are things I would do single that I would not do in a relationship due to a disproportionately negative impact (in comparison with the positive aspects).