LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!

[Irish Musician]

Annoying braibn and its sticky ideas. I've started to think about makeup and I want to wear a little when I am alone to see how it feels. I do have access to some of my sisters old makeup but I don't really know how to make sense of it. What would be a starting point if I got some makeup of my own?

You want to do what Bianca said, start with a base that is as near to your skin tone as you can get. From there you apply it, but you do not want to cake it on. When it comes to make-up less is more, generally speaking anyway. Such as Caroline(I really hope I am saying the right name there sweetie ) said, if you are looking to cover up masculine features and highlight feminine features then there are more intense techniques you can use to do that. However, as a starting point, I would just practice applying the base, and maybe doing some eye-liner. Nothing crazy to start out with, just so you get used to actually applying make-up on yourself and get your eye used to seeing make-up on yourself.

If you need any help in this, please don't hesitate to ask. As I have said before I am no expert, but I do have a good amount of knowledge about it.


Hugs and cookies all around, lovely people.

Matthew

[Grytorm]

I don't really know what I want to achieve at this point. As I said it is a sticky idea that has worked its way into my head. Probably at this point any makeup I wear will be just to look a bit different or to look a bit feminine. Which seems to me very weird because I have never particularly cared about how I look before. Now my mind is spending a lot of time thinking about how I would look as a girl. It is slightly annoying because I can't really predict where I will end up and where my mind is going.

[SiuiS]

A thing! A relevant one.

[HMS Sophia]

What's going on with the endo? That's weird.

I wasn't seeing them for HRT, but for my hormone problems... which sounds like the same thing, but I hope you know what I mean
I'm pretty sure they ended up assuming I was taking non prescribed meds because I have such a high e level with no obvious reason. No tests gave a reason anyway. *shrugs*

What?

Your hormone doctor lost interest in your hormones seemingly self-regulating to your preferred sex out of the blue? But they didn't rule out that whole 'might be life threatening illness' thing, they just... Stopped?

Boy I hope I misunderstood your situation :f

Um... nah, pretty much yeah. It's not a tumour in my stomach or hip regions. It's probably not my thyroid (or pituitary, I forget which). Basically, Yeah, he gave up and is useless. I should really see someone up here but I'm so busy working...

[Irish Musician]

A thing! A relevant one.

I love that thing, and I too feel that way in crowds. Though I tend to be a little more in your face about it.

[Miriel]

News from my name change request: not accepted, I need to send proof that I'm on hormones.

Will fight.

[Grytorm]

News from my name change request: not accepted, I need to send proof that I'm on hormones.

Will fight.

Good luck to you on that. I see no reason why a name change request should be stopped the first time. At least if it isn't to something silly. People know what they are going through.

[Helanna]

People like me probably. I've been on these forums for a while now(four years isn't all that long, right?) but I only started poking my head in here a few days ago. I guess on a fundamental level I don't really think of myself as being part of the LGBT crowd since the asexuality spectrum is pretty much invisible. I don't face discrimination because no one even knows it's a thing, they just think "I've never been interested in any of that relationship stuff" is my choosing celibacy. It's also easy for me to pass since I feel just enough appreciation for pretty girls to get caught staring.

Wow, that is legitimately the first time I've thought of myself as passing for heterosexual. I've identified as grey-ace for a year or two since I knew what it was but I guess I still primarily thought of myself as just a straight guy with almost no sex drive. Does that match up with other people's experiences? I feel like I'm "doing it wrong" somehow, even though that's absurd.

This all matches up with my experience pretty well (including just poking my head in here recently). I generally identify as gray-A because it seems to fit well enough. I can certainly appreciate good-looking men (and women, for that matter) in an aesthetic sense and I have a libido, but I've never actually wanted to have sex with another person. Just seems creepy and awkward and way too much effort for little to no gain. Then I wonder if it would be different if I was in a relationship, but relationships are also currently too much effort and risk for me to bother with right now. And then sometimes I worry that it's all really just an effect of social anxiety or repression or something and I shouldn't really identify as ace, and how can I really tell what sexual attraction feels like anyway, and so on and so forth.

And then sometimes I just figure, eh. I don't want to have sex and I'm happy with that, so I should just quit worrying so much. The Ace community I've seen seems really open and accepting, and I don't think they'll mind if I'm still figuring parts of it out. But I also don't really consider myself part of the LGBT community for the same reasons as you. I've never told anyone I'm asexual, just because it's never come up.

[golentan]

Why won't my sexuality ever stay put long enough to present a reasonable target?

[Miriel]

Good luck to you on that. I see no reason why a name change request should be stopped the first time. At least if it isn't to something silly. People know what they are going through.

Well, they don't know what I'm going through.

*hasn't really stopped crying*

[The_Snark]

News from my name change request: not accepted, I need to send proof that I'm on hormones.

Will fight.

Sorry to hear it. I'm also a little surprised to hear that changing your name is a process that can be denied; I've worked enough record-keeping jobs to understand why governments require forms, but I don't get why they feel the need to have a say in what your name is.

Best of luck in getting through.

[Miriel]

Sorry to hear it. I'm also a little surprised to hear that changing your name is a process that can be denied; I've worked enough record-keeping jobs to understand why governments require forms, but I don't get why they feel the need to have a say in what your name is.

Best of luck in getting through.

Yep, it can be. Apparently, getting one letter from a professional and a declaration under oath is not enough for them. I need a diagnosis of GID AND proof that I'm on hormones. Which is pretty ridiculous. I AM on hormones, I swore an oath to that.

I'm stuck between wanting to fight them to the deah and crying my heart out (actually, I don't think I have any ears left to cry, my eyes hurt a lot).

Oh, and for added insult, the salutations: "Nous vous prions d'accepter, Monsieur [= Sir], nos salutations distinguées." It's a standard formula, but the gendering is totally useless and hurtful, especially in a rejection letter.

[Cloud Rat]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

[Miriel]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Hi! Here are some cookies and cheesecake, and there's ice cream too if you want any!

Oooooh, Rain! Do you read the comic?

[Cloud Rat]

Hi! Here are some cookies and cheesecake, and there's ice cream too if you want any!

Oooooh, Rain! Do you read the comic?

Sadly, allergic to chocolate. :c

I would, but the art style inspires much hate in me. Also, it's not as well written as I would like.

[Saposhiente]

It is slightly annoying because I can't really predict where I will end up and where my mind is going.

Why worry? Wherever you do end up, it will be right.

[Grytorm]

Why worry? Wherever you do end up, it will be right.

I hope so. But I worry because I am uncertain. And because the idea of being feminine is filling a lot of spare mental space right now. And because I already feel slightly stressed about the idea and if I do end up pursuing it I know things will be even more stressful later.

Also I seem to have a tactile imagination of physical action. I have been touching my legs, my hair and my face a lot recently whenever I am thinking about the minor steps I am considering. It matches what I do sometimes what I do when considering self destructive behavior. But it is much more consistent with the more cheerful topic.

[SiuiS]

Um... nah, pretty much yeah. It's not a tumour in my stomach or hip regions. It's probably not my thyroid (or pituitary, I forget which). Basically, Yeah, he gave up and is useless. I should really see someone up here but I'm so busy working...

Wow.

I am going to go with 'your body finally figured out what you wanted' and chalk it up to spiritual intervention, for my own sanity.

I love that thing, and I too feel that way in crowds. Though I tend to be a little more in your face about it.

I am too, but I'm trying not to be. I don't always want to be this person.

News from my name change request: not accepted, I need to send proof that I'm on hormones.

Will fight.

Fight on. If you need help, lemme know. :(

Yep, it can be. Apparently, getting one letter from a professional and a declaration under oath is not enough for them. I need a diagnosis of GID AND proof that I'm on hormones. Which is pretty ridiculous. I AM on hormones, I swore an oath to that.

I'm stuck between wanting to fight them to the deah and crying my heart out (actually, I don't think I have any ears left to cry, my eyes hurt a lot).

Oh, and for added insult, the salutations: "Nous vous prions d'accepter, Monsieur [= Sir], nos salutations distinguées." It's a standard formula, but the gendering is totally useless and hurtful, especially in a rejection letter.

That's pretty stupid...

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Hi there! I have to admit though it will be hard to come ct Rain to the Sour Bill pony. XD

Welcome!

I hope so. But I worry because I am uncertain. And because the idea of being feminine is filling a lot of spare mental space right now. And because I already feel slightly stressed about the idea and if I do end up pursuing it I know things will be even more stressful later.

Also I seem to have a tactile imagination of physical action. I have been touching my legs, my hair and my face a lot recently whenever I am thinking about the minor steps I am considering. It matches what I do sometimes what I do when considering self destructive behavior. But it is much more consistent with the more cheerful topic.

Huh. I do that too.

[HMS Sophia]

Wow.

I am going to go with 'your body finally figured out what you wanted' and chalk it up to spiritual intervention, for my own sanity.

One can certainly hope so. It'll make October 'fun'.

[lord pringle]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Hi! I've always wanted to know someone named Rain.

[Asta Kask]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

We'll need you to weigh in on all important issues, because you will always be right as rain.

Hi!

[Mina Kobold]

Why won't my sexuality ever stay put long enough to present a reasonable target?

Wish I had a good answer for that, or that I had enough of a dead glare to make it stay put indefinitely. As is, I can only offer internet hugs and candies. ;_;

Well, they don't know what I'm going through.

*hasn't really stopped crying*

*Offers all the hugs, candies, armies of penguins and votes for internet president*

Yep, it can be. Apparently, getting one letter from a professional and a declaration under oath is not enough for them. I need a diagnosis of GID AND proof that I'm on hormones. Which is pretty ridiculous. I AM on hormones, I swore an oath to that.

I'm stuck between wanting to fight them to the deah and crying my heart out (actually, I don't think I have any ears left to cry, my eyes hurt a lot).

Oh, and for added insult, the salutations: "Nous vous prions d'accepter, Monsieur [= Sir], nos salutations distinguées." It's a standard formula, but the gendering is totally useless and hurtful, especially in a rejection letter.

The fact that official forms (even in Danish, where it comes off as incredibly stilted to refer to people as hr./fr./frk. (mr./mrs./miss) even when being polite) continue to do that is and endless source of annoyance for me. Why is the bureaucracies of the world so insistant on telling you what gender and gendered title you must identify with? It's pointless, especially when it refuses to recognise that you are way too awesome for regular honorifics, even when telling you that they are being dusty-heads about accepting your name.

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Hi! ^_^

[WarKitty]

New thread: kitten request line now open.

Also, a few observations on ponytails from my project tomcat annals:

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A low ponytail is an acceptable unisex style, but there are differences. For one, men almost never part their hair putting it up. Women brush their hair smooth, whether it's parted or pulled straight back, while men tend not to except with very formal things. Women also put the ponytail tight, even at the nape of the neck, using hairspray and clips and such to control and loose hair. Men tend to have looser ponytails, and stray hair is generally ignored. A male style seems to be created by simply running fingers through hair and pulling it back, while women's styles take more careful brushing.

There's a certain segment of men's styles that seem to cater to very carefully trying to look like you don't care in a specific manner. And this seems the easiest for someone like me to hit.

[Asta Kask]

Spoiler: Squirrel girl wisdom

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[SiuiS]

New thread: kitten request line now open.

Also, a few observations on ponytails from my project tomcat annals:

Spoiler

Show

A low ponytail is an acceptable unisex style, but there are differences. For one, men almost never part their hair putting it up. Women brush their hair smooth, whether it's parted or pulled straight back, while men tend not to except with very formal things. Women also put the ponytail tight, even at the nape of the neck, using hairspray and clips and such to control and loose hair. Men tend to have looser ponytails, and stray hair is generally ignored. A male style seems to be created by simply running fingers through hair and pulling it back, while women's styles take more careful brushing.

There's a certain segment of men's styles that seem to cater to very carefully trying to look like you don't care in a specific manner. And this seems the easiest for someone like me to hit.

Yeah, masculine grooming is "grab thing, tie it down, Put Bread On Table". So much girl stuff is background radiation for the particular sex that giving instructions to a raised as girl and raised as boy will get two very different results... Because each one has a vastly different set of background assumptions.

I wish someone could figure out, break down and convey those damn background assumptions.

[Philemonite]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Welcome new person.
Now, where is our welcome Mat?

Sadly, allergic to chocolate. :c

We also have pie.

By the way, Rain is my favorite character.

[The_Snark]

Yep, it can be. Apparently, getting one letter from a professional and a declaration under oath is not enough for them. I need a diagnosis of GID AND proof that I'm on hormones. Which is pretty ridiculous. I AM on hormones, I swore an oath to that.

Well.

That sounds needlessly complicated, and intrusive.

I don't understand why they need a justification at all, much less such stringent demands for proof; "because I feel like it" seems like a perfectly acceptable reason to change your name to me. I can't help but think they've got it backwards, and that the process ought to assume that you can change your name unless there's a specific reason to forbid it (i.e. legal issues).

I'm sorry you have to deal with that, and hope you can get it sorted out. Caroline is a lovely name.

[WarKitty]

Hello!

You can call me Rain! I'm gender-fluid (slightly leaning towards female.) I didn't know this thread existed; I saw it in Friendly Banter and thought I would say hi!

...Hi?

Hello, have a kitten!

Spoiler

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Yeah, masculine grooming is "grab thing, tie it down, Put Bread On Table". So much girl stuff is background radiation for the particular sex that giving instructions to a raised as girl and raised as boy will get two very different results... Because each one has a vastly different set of background assumptions.

I wish someone could figure out, break down and convey those damn background assumptions.

Most definitely. With girl training it was hard for me to even imagine just putting my hair up in a ponytail without a brush or at least valiant attempt at smoothing. And no part! Well that's just messy.

[Miriel]

Thanks everyone.

*Offers all the hugs, candies, armies of penguins and votes for internet president*

The fact that official forms (even in Danish, where it comes off as incredibly stilted to refer to people as hr./fr./frk. (mr./mrs./miss) even when being polite) continue to do that is and endless source of annoyance for me. Why is the bureaucracies of the world so insistant on telling you what gender and gendered title you must identify with? It's pointless, especially when it refuses to recognise that you are way too awesome for regular honorifics, even when telling you that they are being dusty-heads about accepting your name.

Thanks.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Just... why?

Well.

That sounds needlessly complicated, and intrusive.

I don't understand why they need a justification at all, much less such stringent demands for proof; "because I feel like it" seems like a perfectly acceptable reason to change your name to me. I can't help but think they've got it backwards, and that the process ought to assume that you can change your name unless there's a specific reason to forbid it (i.e. legal issues).

I'm sorry you have to deal with that, and hope you can get it sorted out. Caroline is a lovely name.

I don't understand either. I guess they assume that gender and name are permanent, so why could you change it? Anyway, my name and gender (well, not "mine" really) are all used in identity codes for no purpose, because they feel like it.

Paid them more than a month's worth of food for filing the demand. Just in case they thought I wasn't serious. (That's not counting what I paid to actually fill in the demand, sexologist, oath, etc. Overall, it cost me a month's rent.)

It'll get sorted. Somehow. Anyway. I have a month to sort it out, after that they close my file...

[WarKitty]

Thanks everyone.


Thanks.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Just... why?


Paid them more than a month's worth of food for filing the demand. Just in case they thought I wasn't serious. (That's not counting what I paid to actually fill in the demand, sexologist, oath, etc. Overall, it cost me a month's rent.)

It'll get sorted. Somehow. Anyway. I have a month to sort it out, after that they close my file...

Stupid peoples. Will this help?

Spoiler

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