Comically dumb ideas a braggart of a mayor could have?

[noob]

Installing multicolored continual flame gnomish tinkered stoplights at major intersections.

Then the streets are on fire afterwards.
also the stoplights stops cars by exploding them with rockets.

[dickerson76]

Digs hugely inconvenient moat around town to make it more difficult for an invading army to move in quickly - despite the fact that there has never been an invading army and the traders are all greatly inconvenienced by the slowdown and frustrated by the moat-crossing fee.

Also, the water in the moat becomes a breeding ground for mosquitoes and disease rates in the town rise dramatically.

[guachi]

{Scrubbed}.

An economy like this would probably be booming. Leveled clerical spells would take almost no effort to actually cast. Even rituals aren't that taxing on a cleric. A robust tax system could easily pay for any material costs on spells so all residents, not just the wealthy, could have access to raise dead, for example (assuming high enough levels for local clerics). With residents not having to worry about food or health care, you'd free up a large amount of labor and ensure people could be maximally productive.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about dumb ideas.

[noob]

An economy like this would probably be booming. Leveled clerical spells would take almost no effort to actually cast. Even rituals aren't that taxing on a cleric. A robust tax system could easily pay for any material costs on spells so all residents, not just the wealthy, could have access to raise dead, for example (assuming high enough levels for local clerics). With residents not having to worry about food or health care, you'd free up a large amount of labor and ensure people could be maximally productive.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about dumb ideas.

The problem is the scarcity of clerics.
In order to fix that we need to encourage people to become clerics.

[Connington]

A long term plan to find, awaken, lure, and trap the Tarrasque. There's a huge pit trap, some big iron chains, and the like. The Mayor is still crowdsourcing ideas about what to do with the new resource once it's been captured, but the potential for industry, magic component harvesting, tourism and so on is obvious. Those chains really look heavy and the mayor can hire plenty of CR 1/8 guards to trap it. What could go wrong?

Technically this puts the mayor in the same class as any apocalyptic demon summoning cult. But OTOH, he's not doing anything intentionally Evil and his chances of even finding the Tarrasque are probably nil.

[Rockphed]

The mayor wants an exotic pet. Specifically, he wants a unicorn. The guards have just returned with a dozen baby rhinoceroses.

[Tvtyrant]

A long term plan to find, awaken, lure, and trap the Tarrasque. There's a huge pit trap, some big iron chains, and the like. The Mayor is still crowdsourcing ideas about what to do with the new resource once it's been captured, but the potential for industry, magic component harvesting, tourism and so on is obvious. Those chains really look heavy and the mayor can hire plenty of CR 1/8 guards to trap it. What could go wrong?

Technically this puts the mayor in the same class as any apocalyptic demon summoning cult. But OTOH, he's not doing anything intentionally Evil and his chances of even finding the Tarrasque are probably nil.

There was a very long 3.5 thread about a city built atop an unconcious tarrasque which was harvested for its food, bone and other resources. It also meant the city had a nuke in that attacking it meant they could wake it up.

Having the mayor actually succeed would be hilarious, and provide a unique setting piece.

Edit: apparently that idea got big, there is a a published kick starter setting for it called Salt in Wounds and a reddit for it.

[Cyclops08]

The mayor gets a hundred concentrated Continual Flame spells cast in a shiny bucket. He puts a glass window on top with a painting of a bat on it. Now he has an adventurer signal for whenever the town is in trouble. He expects all adventurers to magically know what the signal means - because they are adventurers, they know this stuff.

A halfling once robbed the mayor. Now a city guard must follow any and all halflings in town. The mayor includes gnomes and dwarves as halflings as well. There is a sign outside of city hall: "You must be this tall to enter."

[Clistenes]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

A certain fantasy comic had a similar premise... An aged, infirm lord sends his son to the city to be an apprentice under his merchant brother (who still has a HUGE chip on his shoulder over being basically kicked out of the castle and sent to "make a future for himself" in the city because their parents were ashamed of him being a cripple, so the merchant uncle isn't exactly affectionate to his nephew, at least at the beginning...).

The merchant uncle is part of an initiative to build an underground, basically putting the roads under the ground so the surface space is freed for more buildings; they are using gnome slave labor and lots of explosives. The nephew frees the gnomes and help them escape and resettle in his father's castle... the gnomes crown his father as the gnome king and dig an underground gnomish town under the castle...

More shenanigans happen... the nephew helps a bunch of mutant monsters escape the city, and sends them to his father's lands... the monsters settle in the underground town.

Time runs... the nephew inherits his merchant uncle's business AND becomes the master of the city's Thieves' Guild (the top dog in the city, basically). But he loses his family, and the city collapses because of so many heavy buildings raised on top of so many tunnels... Dude goes back to his father's lands, and claims his inheritance.

Adventurers start to arrive to the castle to explore its vast dungeons and fight the monsters... Dude realizes they all carry money and valuables with them, so he decides to turn the castle and dungeon into a business... sort of a deadly thematic park and lethal tourist trap... and starts to use advertising to attract more and more adventurers... The monsters kill the adventurers, and bring their stuff to him...

[Tvtyrant]

That actually sounds like an amazing plot for a dragon. It secretly puts a massive bounty on itself so filthy rich adventurers will come deliver their money and magic items to it when they die.

"I haven't raided a city in ages. I let the cities try to raid me, much more profitable."

[opaopajr]

Have the local currency be based on ham, by weight.

Create a craft-jewelry-based Etsy economy, with sumptuary laws mandating you to flaunt your wealth. The richest are encumbered by trinkets and accessories.

Invent new superstitions to keep away ghouls & ghosts, like people should be buttering their threshold before bed.

[silicareject]

One of the parties I DM for installed a mayor in a wild west like town of sorts who is a braggart and exaggerator. He has been the source of much entertainment. For example, the mayor found a sword the Cleric cast light on and believes its a sign from a god. In another session he led a detachment of soldiers on a flanking mission around an orc camp and in effect drove the orcs into the town.

What are some comical things this mayor could do now that he's in power?

Nice topic,thank you.

[Nhorianscum]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

Also using this.

[Clistenes]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

While the Bulette won't leave the meat-filled "dungeon" permanently, it will dig a hidden back exit, like many underground-dwelling creatures do... so when the monsters are dumped inside the cave, they will eventually find their way out and start preying on the villagers...

The major will try to arrest and punish the adventurers hired to capture the monsters, accusing them of releasing the monsters in the village. The adventurers will manage to convince him to let them capture the monsters again... and the major will dump the monsters again into the dungeon, which they will leave again through the same exit...

[XmonkTad]

Mayor attempts to start a wizarding school, staffs it entirely with warlocks.

Mayor believes that witches are causing crop failures and keeps requesting reinforcements from the capital to conduct witch hunts.

[noob]

Mayor attempts to start a wizarding school, staffs it entirely with warlocks.

Mayor believes that witches are causing crop failures and keeps requesting reinforcements from the capital to conduct witch hunts.

warlocking schools must be very common seeing how everybody and their dog becomes warlocks.

And that witch story would be so likely the adventurers would probably believe that it is true and actually manage to believe they stopped the crop failures after killing a few billion witches.

[XmonkTad]

And that witch story would be so likely the adventurers would probably believe that it is true and actually manage to believe they stopped the crop failures after killing a few billion witches.

But that's the brilliance of it. The plan becomes ridiculous, even by midevil standards, when the mayor begins blaming everything on witches/gremlins etc.

[Snowbluff]

Hires wizards to make it a white Christmas/holiday by making snow and freezing the lake for ice skating.

This might involve a lot of wizards if the best they can do to change temperature is Prestidigitation.

[holywhippet]

An evil dragon makes a lair nearby. The mayor concludes that nobody in their right mind would ever steal from a dragon - or are strong enough that they'd easily rob the town treasury anyway. So he arranges to have the dragon store the treasury gold in their own lair.

[Bohandas]

*Hires devils to reinforce town guard. Does not read the relevant contracts.

*Hires an advisor who is obviously possessed

*Hires an advisor who is obviously a teddy bear

*Hires an advisor who is obviously the head of the thieves guild wearing a fake mustache.

*Invests the town budget in sweepstakes entries

*Builds a civic building on top of a super haunted cemetery

*commissions a plumbing system for the city, but the fresh water and waste water portions are not seperate

*designs an offensive new town flag (like the "Learn to fart" flag from that one Simpsons episode)

*outlaws bread, claiming its bad for public health

*starts an initiative to reduce the number of stray cats in he city. The number of rats rises dramatically.

[Rockphed]

*Hires an advisor who is obviously the head of the thieves guild wearing a fake mustache.

This reminds me of an episode of MASH where everyone saw right through the CIA agent's disguise because he was the only person who could look so little like him. Alternatively, it reminds me of the movie Candleshoe where the butler dresses up to be a long list of other characters to hide how broke the titular estate is. Just imagine that the entire mayor's advisorial council is staffed by a single, extremely overworked person.

[Willie the Duck]

The new dam and reservoir system will work perfectly because it will only raise the water level to 32 feat, and the surrounding hills are 35 feet*. It's a plan with no possible flaws.
*average

[Clistenes]

{Scrubbed}

Hey! I want to know what it was about!

*outlaws bread, claiming its bad for public health*

It has salt! And gluten! GLUTEN!!!

[No brains]

Hires a Kenku barrister as his expert in bird law.

[Bohandas]

*Storing grain in mausoleums¹

*Outlawing farting

*Declares war on something that isn't a foreign government

¹like in Sid Meier's Civilization 2 and that one conspiracy theory that was going around back in 2016

[Bohandas]

*Sends out the town crier with short, self-aggrandizing, semi-coherent soundbites

*Turns the city hall into a casino

*Takes credit for the PCs' accomplishments, his underlings' accomplishments, and actions of the gods. Declares claims to the contrary to be fake news.

*Declares himself king of a nation on the other side of the world that already has a well known monarch

*Bans illness. Anyone caught being sick subject to severe penalties.

*Holds a celebration for the current adventure's mission being accomplished long before the current adventure's mission is anywhere close to being accomplished.

*Appoints a demon as captain of the guard

*Builds a literal monument to government waste

*Makes the townsfolk salute the drying laundry on his clothesline

[Misterwhisper]

Appoints a town flag that is a picture of him giving a thumbs up.

Starts a bards college for giants.
(Funny backstory behind that one, short version was a 3.5 storm giant shadow dancer npc.)

Wants to build the Mount Rushmore of powerful wizards of the realms.

Clockwork custodians

[holywhippet]

Having heard of the running of the bulls, the mayor tries to found the running of the umber hulks.

[XmonkTad]

Having heard of the running of the bulls, the mayor tries to found the running of the umber hulks.

Yes! Every time they come back to see the same mayor he's founding the running of some other dangerous creature.

[Personification]

Yes! Every time they come back to see the same mayor he's founding the running of some other dangerous creature.

"Welcome to the first annual running of the giant sharks! Wait, where are the sharks, I ordered giant sharks!?!?!?!"
"But sir, giant sharks can't run, they can only move underwat-*choke*"
"I find your lack of fish disturbing!"