My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology

[SiuiS]

There will be!

Let's see... Spike has a crush on Rarity, Rarity finds she enjoys fitting Dash's dresses a little too much, and Dash is secretly training with Trixie in order to win the Best Young Flyer competition!

Hmm, not convoluted enough. Give me ideas, everypony.

Rarity stumbles upon Trixie/dash training sessions and mistakes her feelings for Trixie at first.
Spike sees a disguised Rarity and instinctively likes her, but bemoans that somepony else has taken his eyes away from Rarity.
Rainbow Dash is tired of all the romancey stuff and so hangs out with spike to an unhealthy degree.
Trixie reads some old gossip rag, the Equestria Daily, and wonders why these characters in 'out in the cold' seem so familiar, and just who this "dusk twinkle" that authored the story really is? And why do they make her so... giddy?
Above them all, Celestia languishes, loved by all equally and so loved by none. Luna goes to console her sister, and the emotions during her breakdown confession cause the moon and sun to both unwittingly rise- who will find love and who will find heartbreak under Equestria's first eclipse?

Good enough?

[Thanqol]

Twilight Sparkle has an unrequited crush on Big Macintosh. Big Macintosh is secretly married to a Seapony (it happened during his time in the Equestrian Merchant Marine). Rainbow Dash has a thing for Cherry Coke, but alas, Cherry Coke is married to his work. Cherry Coke is trying to set up Rainbow Dash with Lyra, believing the common scuttlebutt that she's a lesbian. Bon Bon is "fighting for her Unicorn" and is attempting to bump off Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie is oblivious and loves parties.

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Spike has an equal yet opposite crush on Fluttershy.

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You know, like the one he has on Rarity.

Rarity stumbles upon Trixie/dash training sessions and mistakes her feelings for Trixie at first.
Spike sees a disguised Rarity and instinctively likes her, but bemoans that somepony else has taken his eyes away from Rarity.
Rainbow Dash is tired of all the romancey stuff and so hangs out with spike to an unhealthy degree.
Trixie reads some old gossip rag, the Equestria Daily, and wonders why these characters in 'out in the cold' seem so familiar, and just who this "dusk twinkle" that authored the story really is? And why do they make her so... giddy?
Above them all, Celestia languishes, loved by all equally and so loved by none. Luna goes to console her sister, and the emotions cause the moon and sun to bob unwittingly rise- who will find love and who will find heartbreak under Equestria's first eclipse?

Good enough?

Perfect. I'm unemployed, I've got nothing better to do than take a shot at this.

[1dominator]

double edit: Ha I love the fact that they have under their product pages, search catagories the option for "Boys" (1 product, Twilight Sparkle, apparently Twi is for boys) and "Grown-Ups 18+"

Of course Twilight is for boys! How dare you display any doubt at the idea!

Why did I look? Kill it with fire!

The worst part? I recognized the FiM theme tune in the intro... It has been sullied!

On a less horrifyingly mindscaring topic - hurr hurr hurr - here's an assessment of the total shipping of the community

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Rainbow Dash ships with everypony.

Except Trixie, who apparently ships with herself... Then again, if anyone was Great and Powerful enough to accomplish that it WOULD be Trixie.
Does the amount of lines indicate the number of ships? Also, Spike and Celestia? That is certainly not something that would have occurred to me (then again, most of those wouldn't have occurred to me).

[Thanqol]

Of course Twilight is for boys! How dare you display any doubt at the idea!

hurr hurr hurr

Also the implication that she is the only one "for boys".

Except Trixie, who apparently ships with herself... Then again, if anyone was Great and Powerful enough to accomplish that it WOULD be Trixie.
Does the amount of lines indicate the number of ships? Also, Spike and Celestia? That is certainly not something that would have occurred to me (then again, most of those wouldn't have occurred to me).

More Lines = More Ships, correct. Must fill in gaps!

[1dominator]

Huh, this thread moves fastest at around 2am local time, about 8 posts in the time I was typing my previous post.

hurr hurr hurr

Also the implication that she is the only one "for boys".

Well Twilight IS my favourite, and I am male. So using my sample size of one (which is the best sample size) I can scientifically conclude that this is in fact the rule. All exceptions will be rationalized as they are presented.

EDIT: Also, does anyone know how to get pictures from your computer onto GitP to become your avatar?

[Gaelbert]

There will be!

Let's see... Spike has a crush on Rarity, Rarity finds she enjoys fitting Dash's dresses a little too much, and Dash is secretly training with Trixie in order to win the Best Young Flyer competition!

Hmm, not convoluted enough. Give me ideas, everypony.

Twilight gets jealous the four are spending time away from her (she clearly has some jealousy/space issues, judging from Green Isn't Your Colour). Twilight writes a letter to Celestia about the power of love, and Celestia comes down to investigate. Pinkie Pie plans Celestia's party/reception and finds she asks Applejack baking questions she already knew, just to get attention from her. Hmm... let's see... Bon Bon and Lyra, Dr. Whoof, and of course, DJ Pon-3 are still left. Dr. Whoof loses his TARDIS and finds he must fit in with the residents of Ponyville. His stunning looks and attractive personality wins him the affection of Lyra. Naturally, Bon Bon tries to win Lyra back, only to realize she too loves the Doctor. And, um, Pon-3... bonds with Blues over their mutual interest in music. Pinkie Pie hires Pon-3 and Blues to do the music for the reception. This makes Fluttershy jealous (she's the unofficial conductor.) Meanwhile, the Doctor realizes something is amiss with the Princess' reception and must get to the bottom of the mystery. As it turns out, the "mystery" is love, which is far more magical than friendship even. It warps the fabric of the timey-whimey ball. Derpy Hooves is affected by this crack in space and time (resulting in her general "derpyness") and is examined by the Doctor.

Oh man, this is either going to be awesome or terrifying.

My guess would be both.

This is what wikipedia says about Dash's cutie mark:
The Cutie Mark Chronicles:
The crusaders look for Twilight and the other ponies to learn how they got their cutie marks.
Note: This is the first episode of the series that has 3 endings for Rainbow Dash, which can be voted on the series' official website.

EDIT: Also, does anyone know how to get pictures from your computer onto GitP to become your avatar?

Upload it onto Photobucket, then go to User CP and Edit Options. There'll be a space at the bottom of the page for you to put in the link from Photobucket.
If its the same one you have now, just resized, you can just use the link from the post I made if you want and skip a step.

[Thanqol]

Twilight gets jealous the four are spending time away from her (she clearly has some jealousy/space issues, judging from Green Isn't Your Colour). Twilight writes a letter to Celestia about the power of love, and Celestia comes down to investigate. Pinkie Pie plans Celestia's party/reception and finds she asks Applejack baking questions she already knew, just to get attention from her. Hmm... let's see... Bon Bon and Lyra, Dr. Whoof, and of course, DJ Pon-3 are still left. Dr. Whoof loses his TARDIS and finds he must fit in with the residents of Ponyville. His stunning looks and attractive personality wins him the affection of Lyra. Naturally, Bon Bon tries to win Lyra back, only to realize she too loves the Doctor. And, um, Pon-3... bonds with Blues over their mutual interest in music. Pinkie Pie hires Pon-3 and Blues to do the music for the reception. This makes Fluttershy jealous (she's the unofficial conductor.) Meanwhile, the Doctor realizes something is amiss with the Princess' reception and must get to the bottom of the mystery. As it turns out, the "mystery" is love, which is far more magical than friendship even. It warps the fabric of the timey-whimey ball. Derpy Hooves is affected by this crack in space and time (resulting in her general "derpyness") and is examined by the Doctor.

You lot are good at this

[Entertainer13]

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Spike has an equal yet opposite crush on Fluttershy.

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You know, like the one he has on Rarity.

I call horse apples on this. I need proof!

Oh, and unrelated.

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[darthbobcat]

I call horse apples on this. I need proof!

Oh, and unrelated.

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It's called subtext, man, SUBTEXT. If you can't see it, there's no point explaining it.

[Gaelbert]

I call horse apples on this. I need proof!

It's a scene from one of the earlier episodes. In the Spike is in the background, and it seems that he hold his gaze on Rarity a fraction of a second longer than would be expected. While there are multiple explanations for this, the Iron Hoofed Conspiracy theorists decided that

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Spike has a crush on Rarity

[SiuiS]

EDIT: Also, does anyone know how to get pictures from your computer onto GitP to become your avatar?

It's been covered but yes, you have to upload it somewhere first. You cannot get the avatar to the board from your computer.

And Thanqol, doesn't it seem a bit... odd that it's the men doing to really good 'shipping?

[invinible]

Hey, if we're making a pony soap opera than we should go all out with it.

What I subjest to add is SPECTRE: the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion; a criminal organisation in the James Bond series; to come in and take over Equestria while all the ponies are otherwise distracted.

[Thanqol]

Hey, if we're making a pony soap opera than we should go all out with it.

What I subjest to add is SPECTRE: the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion; a criminal organisation in the James Bond series; to come in and take over Equestria while all the ponies are otherwise distracted.

We can't get a lame horse pun for our acronym? Like MI P.O.N.y?
Policy for
Operations and
Negotiations
yay

[PhoeKun]

And Thanqol, doesn't it seem a bit... odd that it's the men doing to really good 'shipping?

Every time I hear somepony say that it's like a dagger in my little heart...

[Thanqol]

Every time I hear somepony say that it's like a dagger in my little heart...

Yeah, I was gonna say

[Gaelbert]

Hey, if we're making a pony soap opera than we should go all out with it.

What I subjest to add is SPECTRE: the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion; a criminal organisation in the James Bond series; to come in and take over Equestria while all the ponies are otherwise distracted.

I demand the plot from this video is used as well. Rainbow Dash is R Kelly and Fluttershy is Usher.

[SiuiS]

It's a scene from one of the earlier episodes. In the Spike is in the background, and it seems that he hold his gaze on Rarity a fraction of a second longer than would be expected. While there are multiple explanations for this, the Iron Hoofed Conspiracy theorists decided that

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Spike has a crush on Rarity

I am declaring an arbitrary, mandatory and necessary limit of 8 spoiler tags on ANYTHING. I couldn't actually read this, t broke my browser. I had to quote you to see what was goin' on in there.

Also, Thanqol! Have Hoity-Toity do a review of that horrid, baby Pinkie Pie thing. It would be hilarious.

[Gaelbert]

I am declaring an arbitrary, mandatory and necessary limit of 8 spoiler tags on ANYTHING. I couldn't actually read this, t broke my browser. I had to quote you to see what was goin' on in there.

Also, Thanqol! Have Hoity-Toity do a review of that horrid, baby Pinkie Pie thing. It would be hilarious.

Fair enough. But did you really have to open them to guess what I was going to say?

[SiuiS]

Wow, this thread does move fast. I'm caught between honoring good sir Bobcat's wishes, and just doin every other post myself to polish this thread off so Trixie can make a new one and then take a week's vacation 6_6

Every time I hear somepony say that it's like a dagger in my little heart...

Yeah, I was gonna say

whoa-hoa-hoah, there, friends! Please consider that, as narcissistic as I am, I cannot truly think ill of any group I include myself in. I was really just fishing for a chuckle to see how many "Hurrs" he was capable of in a single night.

And you, PhoeKun! You're too good with imagery. I'm tripping over myself trying to back-pedal. Tiny dagger in the heart? Doesn't help I'm looking at your avatar when I read that T^T
on the plus side, I know what you mean now by tiny heart dagger. And I learned I don't like making people feel bad.

How do I make ammends for my slight without getting over-dramatic?

Fair enough. But did you really have to open them to guess what I was going to say?

D'OH.

[Thanqol]

I demand the plot from this video is used as well. Rainbow Dash is R Kelly and Fluttershy is Usher.

I can't seem to not include a rap single in this abomination now.

whoa-hoa-hoah, there, friends! Please consider that, as narcissistic as I am, I cannot truly think ill of any group I include myself in. I was really just fishing for a chuckle to see how many "Hurrs" he was capable of in a single night.

Ah, apologise for the misreading... note to self, add a "Hurr" chuckle tape to the list of things to film tonight.

[Scribble]

Why did I look? Kill it with fire!

Why are they crawling?!

By Celestia this is terrible... it's just creepy and I figured out why, they never turn their heads! The look up and down but their heads never turn! So they have to move their eyes all over the place to look at things.. it's just... disconcerting.

This just moves way into the uncanny valley and just frolics about in the deepest shadows of creepy it can find!

[darthbobcat]

Hey Guys! I have Chapter 3 of Fair Feather Friend ready ahead of schedule. So, here's the rough draft, and any and all critiques and comments before I put up the final version sometime tomorrow would be appreciated.

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Fair Feather Friend
Chapter 3
By Bobcat
Note: Thanks again to everyone at Equestria Daily, and also to everyone who I know personally and at the Giants in the Playground forum who helped beta-read this fic for me.
************
It was a slow Tuesday morning at the Carousel Boutique, mostly because of the large sign on the door reading, "closed, sorry for the inconvenience." Inside, Rarity was trotting up the stairs, a tray of tea and plain white toast floating in front of her. She had a mixed look of annoyance and worry. "Really, that girl! It's not like I can take a day off whenever I like! This is going to put me so far behind!" She managed to drop it before she opened the door to Sweetie Belle's guest room, replacing it with a smile. "Hello, Sweetie Belle! Are you feeling any better?"
Sweetie Belle moaned an inarticulate response from under her pillow. That was a step in the right direction; Rarity hadn't been able to rouse her an hour before.
Rarity put the tray down on Sweetie Belle's dresser and poured her a cup of tea. "Not to kick you when you're down, but... really? Cutie Mark Crusader Sushi Chefs?"
Sweetie Belle muttered, "Scootaloo's... idea..."
Rarity reached out and patted her little sister's back. "And now you've learned an important lesson about listening to Scootaloo, along with a lesson about properly handling raw eggs." Sweetie Belle let out another moan of protest. "Still, it's time for you to get some breakfast. I'm going to sit you up. You ready?" There was another moan. "Close enough." Rarity used her telekinesis again, bringing Sweetie Belle into a sitting position. "Open up. I made your favorite tea."
Sweetie Belle managed a, "thank you," before Rarity started feeding her. Rarity smiled. As much as her little sister could infuriate her, it was hard to hold her record of thievery and mischief against her when she was so pathetic. It wasn't much easier to blame their parents for being out of town when this happened, thus dropping the whole problem in her lap. As she finished, there came a knock at the front door to the boutique.
Sweetie Belle said, weakly, "Are you going to get that?"
Rarity shook her head. "No, I put out a sign. Everypony knows I'm closed for business today." After a moment, the knocking became more insistent. "Hmph. There's no manners in this town anymore. I suppose I'll go deal with it. Will you be okay while I go check on it?" Sweetie Belle nodded weakly.
***************
Rainbow Dash glared at the door as she kept knocking. "C'mon, c'mon, I don't have all day." Rainbow Dash was looking worse for wear, between a bad night's sleep and the attack by Baron Awesome.
Rarity opened the door and blinked in surprise. Rainbow Dash had expected that reaction. The last time she'd shown up at the boutique was via a crash landing.¬¬¬ Rarity said, "Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here? Are those disgusting Sand Worms back?" The unicorn was trembling slightly at the thought.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Why does everypony ask me that lately? I want to buy something."
As she visibly relaxed, Rarity shot the pegasus a glare. "Rainbow Dash! I am closed right now! Didn't you see the sign?"
"Yeah, but I assumed it didn't apply to me." This was said in the same tone that Rainbow Dash would use to say that the sky was blue.
Rarity facehoofed. "Of course you didn't."
"Why are you closed, anyway? I remember you talking about how behind you were in your work during the Sand Worm thing." Rainbow Dash
Rarity winced as Rainbow Dash reminded her of her problems. She raised her nose with a huff. "This isn't a personal day or the like. I'll have you know that I'm closed on account of illness."
Rainbow Dash squinted and gave Rarity a look over. "You don't look sick."
Rarity said, "Sweetie Belle's sick today, and I should really get back to her. So if you'll excuse me..."
Rainbow Dash stuck her foot in the door as Rarity tried to close it. "Look Rarity, I wouldn't bug you unless it was important." Rarity gave her a half lidded, skeptical look. "Okay, fine, I might bug you if it wasn't important. But that doesn't make this unimportant! You're the only pony I can turn to."
Rarity seemed conflicted. Finally, she sighed. "Very well. What can I do for you?" She closed the door behind Rainbow Dash as quickly as possible so nopony saw that she was making exceptions.
Rainbow Dash said laughed in her head. Good, predictable Rarity. "Well, I need a thick, knee high leather boot. Nothing too fashionable, it just needs to be sturdy."
Rarity asked, "Front or back leg?"
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. She stuck her front leg and held it there for a moment, earning an odd look from Rarity. "Right foreleg."
Rarity paused. "Wait, you just want one boot?" Rainbow Dash nodded. Rarity went over to a horsequin and started loosening the bootstraps. "This should work, but I can't sell just one. After all, there isn't too much of a market for unmated boots, I'm sure you understand."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "So much for getting it half price..."
Rarity walked over and gestured for Rainbow Dash to raise her leg so she could slip it on. The boot fit almost perfectly. As she telekinetically put on the other boot, Rarity asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you need these for?"
Rainbow Dash froze in place. She didn't want anypony knowing about Baron Awesome until he'd gotten over his "random attack" habit, but as tired as she was, she hadn't even considered the need for a lie. As a result, her mouth panicked and went places her brain didn't want to go. "I want to look nice for my date tonight!" She kicked herself internally as Rarity's eyes lit up. She'd just promised one of Ponyville's leading gossips a rare treat.
Rarity said, "A date? Really? Who is he?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes glanced around as she looked, in vain, for clues. She saw the dress Rarity had worn in the Young Flyer's competition on another horsequin. "Uh, you don't know him. He's... an... old friend from Cloudsdale and he's in town just for today."
Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a once over and grew visibly disgusted. "Oh no no no, this is won't do! I don't mean any offense, Dash, but you're a wreck. This is going to require my full skills as a makeover artist! Nothing will stop me from my task of making you..."
Rainbow Dash prayed for some sort of intervention.
From upstairs, there was the sound of groans and something splattering as it hit the floor. This was followed by a weak voice saying, "Rarity? I went sick on the floor..."
In that moment, Rainbow Dash became a fervent believer in miracles.
Rarity said... nah, Rainbow Dash must have misheard her. Rarity probably didn't even know that word. She called up the stairs, "I'm coming, Sweetie, don't worry." She turned to Dash. "I'm sorry, Dash, but I need to get back to helping Sweetie Belle. You can pay me for the boots later."
"Can I ask how much?" Dash had been dreading this. With her recent pet store related expenses, it was going to be a lean month as it was.
Rarity quoted a price. Rainbow Dash's knees went wobbly. "THAT much for boots?"
Rarity was busy getting a mop and bucket from her supply closet. "That's with a friendship discount. You won't get a better price is town, since that's pretty much selling them at cost."
Rainbow Dash swallowed. "Can I get them on layaway?"
Rarity nodded. "Certainly, you can give me 20 bits weekly..." As the word "weekly" crossed her lips, she paused and almost dropped her telekinetically lifted bucket. Her expression grew even more worried. "Oh no, I completely forgot! It's my spa day with Fluttershy. I completely forgot to have somepony tell her, and it starts in... ten minutes! She's probably there already! She'll be so disappointed if I miss it... and those dresses! And Sweetie Belle! And your makeover!" Rarity lifted up a paper bag and started hyperventilating into it.
Rainbow Dash, as oblivious as she could be, was starting to worry that her friend was about to have a heart attack. "Um, you okay Rarity?"
Rarity spun around and looked at Rainbow Dash with an uncomfortably intense expression. "Of course! I can kill two of those birds with one stone!" "I need you to go to the spa in my place. Tell Fluttershy what happened." She magically lifted over a notecard. "Show them this and tell them to give you my usual. When they're done with you, your friend will be eating out of your hoof!"
Rainbow Dash was about to protest... when she realized she was trapped in the cage of her lies. She'd been willing to spend a small fortune (to her at least) on boots to impress this hypothetical guy. If she turned down a free makeover and wasn't willing to help Fluttershy, that would just raise more questions and would expose her whole secret. Plus, if she didn't remove at least a little stress from Rarity's life, she'd lose more time flying the unicorn to the hospital. "... fine."
****************
In the Ponyville Spa's waiting room, Fluttershy was reading the new copy of Young Bridle magazine. As she finished skimming all of the ads, she let out a sigh of relief. It was the first time since Photo Finish had tried to turn her into a star that none of the ads had featured her. "Oh thank goodness. Now I can go back to normal." The money had been nice, but it definitely wasn't worth the extra attention. Though, since there wouldn't be any residuals this month... Angel Bunny was NOT going to be happy about going back to normal toilet paper.
Just as Fluttershy was about to check the clock again (she wasn't worried, since Rarity was often a little late) when Rainbow Dash walked in through the door. Fluttershy blinked in surprise. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. What..."
Rainbow Dash interrupted her. "Look, before you ask, the sand worms aren't back! Why does everypony assume that I only go places when things go wrong?" Rainbow Dash was annoyed and she didn't care who knew.
Fluttershy said, "Oh, that's too bad. The sand worms weren't too bad once you got to know them." She put down her magazine. "Then what are you here for?"
Rainbow Dash said, slightly dejectedly, "Rarity said she couldn't make it today, and because of a bunch of stuff I don't really want to get into, I'm taking her place as your spa buddy."
Fluttershy smiled in her cherubic little way. "Oh, how lovely. It's too bad about Rarity, but it will be nice for the two of us to get some time to ourselves."
*****************
In the same day, Rainbow Dash had come to believe in miracles and now was experiencing a taste of hell. The fact that Rarity put up with strangers poking her, prodding her, covering her in seaweed, putting curlers in her hair, shoving her in thick pools of boiling mud, putting green gunk on her face and putting weird gunk in her hair (and claimed to ENJOY it) just proved to her that Rarity had no taste. Clearly Fluttershy had the right idea. The twin spa attendants barely touched the pink haired pegasus.
Rainbow Dash sighed contentedly as one of the attendants spooned another ladleful of water onto the heated rock in the steam room. A good steam she could understand!
For once, Fluttershy was doing most of the talking. "And then Angel Bunny just did the cutest little... am I boring you?"
Rainbow Dash, thinking about how much she just wanted to go home, said, "Nope, keep telling me about the ferrets."
Fluttershy looked down and blushed. "Um, I finished talking about those during the seaweed wrap." Her voice trailed off towards the end.
Rainbow Dash wanted to kick herself as she saw the poor yellow Pegasus' face fall. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy. My brain's just miles away right now." Fluttershy squeaked something that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear. Rainbow Dash really wished that somepony who was good at this whole personal interaction thing was here to mediate. Dash locked eyes with the spa attendant and gestured for her to leave. Shrugging, the earth pony trotted out of the room.
Fluttershy seemed to open up slightly at that. She muttered something that Rainbow Dash couldn't catch. Seeing that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear her, she mustered up some assertiveness and said, "I'm sorry, I really didn't want to bore you. I heard about your pet problem and I thought you'd enjoy hearing about my animal friends and I guess I was just boring and I didn't want to make it worse and..."
Rainbow Dash made a "time out" motion. "Okay, just how many ponies did Applejack tell?"
Fluttershy said, "Well, Applejack told Pinkie Pie, and then Pinkie Pie told me, but she made me promise not to tell anypony but you and Rarity and Twilight Sparkle, because friends keep secrets."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Pinkie Pie? Keeping a secret?" Rainbow Dash couldn't imagine that blabbermouth keeping anything to herself ever.
Fluttershy squeaked in terror. Rainbow Dash just got confused. Finally, Fluttershy said, "Well, um, I do want to help you out. I can't imagine living without animals when you really want them. After this, do you want to come over and play for a while?"
Rainbow Dash was simultaneously touched and severely irritated. After all, Fluttershy obviously really wanted to help her, as much of a jerk as she'd been today. On the other hand, she needed to be at work in a few hours and every second here was a second away from Baron Awesome, the real solution to her problem. "Um, I'm sorry, Fluttershy, it sounds like fun, but I have to go to work soon, and I need to take care of some stuff." Fluttershy's frown deepened and Rainbow Dash could practically here the yellow pegasus beating herself up on the inside. "We'll do it some other time, okay?"
Fluttershy smiled wanly. "Okay, Rainbow Dash."
There was silence for a long moment. How long, neither was sure, but it certainly seemed like a small eternity. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, "So, Pinkie's good at keeping secrets? Really?"
Fluttershy said, "Oh, yes. Here, I can show you, but don't get too scared about what happens next." Fluttershy walked over to the door, opened it and called out, "Oh, Aloe? Could you come here? I need to tell you something."
**********************
Pinkie Pie, now clad in her own bathrobe to match those of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, giggled excitedly as they left the spa. "Wow, that was great. I should come along more often! I wish I'd been there for more than the last massage and that thing with the pool. Why were there little fish in there again?" She was apparently unaware of the thousand yard stare Rainbow Dash was giving the world.
"Well," replied Fluttershy, "the little fish eat the dead skin off our hooves. It makes them softer. Also, the little dears get lunch at the same time."
Pinkie Pie nodded vigorously. "Ohhhhh. That's smart!"
Rainbow Dash finally burst. "Where the hay did you come from? One second Fluttershy was talking to Aloe about my problems and then... you... where?"
Pinkie Pie grinned mischievously. "Now that... is a secret."
Rainbow Dash's brain was stuck in the same circular rut it got into whenever Pinkie Pie challenged her view of reality in a new way. Pinkie's goofing around wasn't helping it. Finally, she shook her head and took off. "Alright, anyway, I gotta get going. Later, guys." She was winging away at top speed before either could reply.
"Do you think she knows what she looks like?"
Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin. "Oh my, no, I don't think so."
Pinkie Pie sighed. "Now I really really really really wish I was on the weather patrol. Just wait 'til they get a load of her!"
********************
"Baron Awesome, I'm home!" Rainbow Dash found the Baron standing atop the perch she'd set up for him that morning. "Glad you like that thing I got ya. Cloud safe pet supplies are not cheap, let me tell you..."
Baron Awesome, fed up with being cooped up all day, took off and charged directly as his captor. He gave a loud shriek and went in talons first.
Fortunately, his talons got caught in the bathrobe instead of in Rainbow Dash's foreleg. With her own cry of surprise, she managed to slip it off. She reared up on her hind legs and shielded her face. "What the hay is wrong with you, Baron Awesome? I was just gone three hours!"
Baron Awesome disentangled himself from his white cotton trap and realized that the blue thing was still bigger than him. Moreover, it looked like she had another fishy offering. All was forgiven. He grabbed the dropped rainbow trout, flew back to his pillow nest and started to devour it.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief. Knowing better than to be friendly while the Baron was eating, Dash got her own lunch. Fortunately, this time it was some takeout from Sakura's Far East Grill, so it was free of little green spots.
"Maybe this isn't as awesome an idea as I thought it was." For the first time, she felt doubt settle in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was time to swallow her pride and get some help from somepony who knew what they were doing, like Fluttershy? "Yeah, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"
*********************
At the center of town, Fluttershy blushed demurely as everypony in Ponyville milled around. She didn't like the attention, but she put up with it. After all, it wasn't every day that the Mayor herself gave you the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award.
The Mayor walked up on stage and everypony went silent. Speaking into the microphones, she declared, "Fillies and gentlecolts, we all know why we're here today. Today, we honor Ponyville's favorite daughter, Fluttershy, with the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award!" Everything after the word "Fluttershy" was drowned out as the crowd stomped and shouted. One could almost see the waves of love and adoration flow over the stage.
The Mayor, once there was silence again, continued her speech. "We had for years been searching for a worthy pegasus. At one point, we considered Rainbow Dash. However, after she asked Fluttershy for help doing something as simple as taking care of one pet, we realized she was hopeless. However, look at how good a job Fluttershy did with Baron Cuddles!"
Baron Cuddles, a very familiar brown falcon, swooped down from above and landed on Fluttershy's outstretched hoof. She didn't even need a falconer's glove, he was so well trained.
The Mayor continued. "After all, who can forget how much better life is with Baron Cuddles around? The babies saved from burning buildings, the hours of community service with the blind and, of course, the new youth center!"
Over the general applause, one could hear Scootaloo shout out, "Yeah, to think I used to look up to Rainbow Dash!"
The Mayor said, "So, in honor of this award, Fluttershy will be inducted into the Wonderbolts, get a huge state pension and be promoted to Princess!" The applause was deafening.
Meanwhile, in her cloud house, a very wall eyed blue pegasus wearing a dunce cap was coloring quietly with a friend. Rainbow Dash said, "Aw, coloring in the lines is hard."
Derpy rolled her eyes (oddly focused for a change). "Sheesh, Rainbow Dash, you're lame."
Rainbow Dash started to cry. "Sorry, I can't brain today. I have the dumb."
**********************
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Okay, it probably wouldn't be that bad." She thought for a moment. "Probably. But why do it if I don't have to?" Noticing that Baron Awesome had finished his fish, she slowly made her way over. "Hey Baron, don't mind me. We're bros, right? Yeah. You're all comfy womfy and happy, aren't you?"
The Baron eyed her suspiciously as she came closer. The blue thing was so confusing. Sometimes it attacked him and tried to grab him so that she could eat him. Then, sometimes, she'd bring him food. And he still had no idea how he went from flying into a tree to being in this weird... white... fluffy place. He also had no idea why he wasn't allowed to leave. The blue thing knew how to open the door, but he couldn't.
Rainbow Dash tentatively stretched out a hoof. This was it. The acid test. If she couldn't touch him when he was at his happiest, she was flying straight to Fluttershy's to beg for help, pride be hanged. "Hey boy, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're my bro. I just wanna pet you. Is that so wrong? I mean, you're a pet, so the idea is to pet you. If I can't pet you, I might as well get some lame-o fish. So I'm just gonna reach out... and..."
Baron Awesome looked at her freshly pedicured hoof, then into her eyes, and then back. He was feeling full and lazy. From his current position, he wouldn't be able to take off in time to get away. His only option was to bite her for all he was worth. He puffed up his feathers...
And he looked in her eyes again. Every set of eyes he had ever seen had the angry intensity of a bird of prey. His mother, other males he had fought for territory, the mate he'd raised a pair of chicks with, they all had their eyes set in one way. Those eyes all promised bloody revenge if he stepped out of line. The eyes of this blue thing did not. Her eyes were soft. Her body language was slow and careful. He was helpless. Yesterday, he'd been more helpless. He was still alive, and she kept giving him food. She wasn't his mother... was she trying to be his mother?
Both falcon and pegasus wrestled with instinct; the first to lash out, the second to withdraw her hoof. As hoof touched feather, both flinched, each expecting the worst from the other. Both had their worst fears dashed. Both let out breath they hadn't realized they were holding.
And so, for the next hour, pegasus stroked falcon, and the two enjoyed each other's company.
*************************
Rainbow Dash was walking on cloud nine. This was because the local weather patrol office was located there. She was also deliriously happy. "Lah lah lah, I got a pet and it's better than a dog so take that Applejack and also you too self doubt, lah lah lah, cause I didn't need help," she sang to herself as she trotted in to work.
She walked over to her locker and got out her work helmet. Today was scheduled for hail, so everypony had to have their safety gear. As she started sliding on her bright orange work vest, there came a voice from behind. It was a tan pegasus mare wearing the same gear as Rainbow Dash. "Uh, ma'am, I'm afraid the locker room is for employees only."
Rainbow Dash turned around. "What are you talking about, Lightning Bolt?"
Lightning Bolt blinked. "Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, of course it's me! What, you got gunk in your eyes?"
Lightning Bolt pointed at a mirror. "Um, did you lose a bet or something?"
The blue pegasus snorted and walked over to the mirror. "I did not lose... a..." Rainbow Dash fell silent as she took in exactly what Aloe and Lotus had done to her. Her mane and tail were perfectly straight and styled into a trendy haircut she'd occasionally mocked. Her face was accented by a tasteful amount of makeup. Her fur was radiant, and her hooves, normally chipped, were... perfect. In fact, perfect summed up everything she was seeing. Rainbow Dash had no idea she could look that good. She almost wished she did have a date that night.
Lightning Bolt asked, "So, uh, what did happen then?"
Rainbow Dash, admiring herself (no wonder Rarity was always doing that, it was fun when you had this sort of reflection to look at!), said, "Um, actually, yeah. I lost a bet. That's it. Silly me."
Lightning Bolt laughed. "It must've been a doozy, 'cause you look really girly." Lightning Bolt checked the clock. "You're gonna have to tell me about that later. We're gonna be late if we don't hurry up." Lightning Bolt started trotting away. She paused when she saw that Rainbow Dash still hadn't moved from the mirror. "Uh, Dash, you coming?"
"The mirror and I are gonna need another two minutes. Go without me."
*******************
End Part 3
To Be Continued

[Gaelbert]

How does everypony organize their pic folder? I'm trying to go through now and set up a good system.

[darthbobcat]

How does everypony organize their pic folder? I'm trying to go through now and set up a good system.

I'm partway through organizing it. I'm doing it by the focal character of the work. I haven't decided how to do one with a split focus.

[PhoeKun]

And you, PhoeKun! You're too good with imagery. I'm tripping over myself trying to back-pedal. Tiny dagger in the heart? Doesn't help I'm looking at your avatar when I read that T^T
on the plus side, I know what you mean now by tiny heart dagger. And I learned I don't like making people feel bad.

How do I make ammends for my slight without getting over-dramatic?

...Aw.

Well, I'd say now you're basically required to request a 'ship from me, but I don't really think that's true. Tell you what. Just give me something fun to write, and I'll be happy. No dramatics necessary.

[Thanqol]

How does everypony organize their pic folder? I'm trying to go through now and set up a good system.

By character. I've got an "Apple Family" folder, Celestia&Luna, "Extras", "Group", "OC" "Crossover" and "Comics". Rainbow Dash is by far and away the largest folder for some reason, followed by Twilight, Fluttershy and Trixie.

@ darthbobcat: Enjoyed the story, more detailed commentary when I'm not running a game about SPACE PIRATES

@ This horrible fic I agreed to write for some reason:

Okay, I've got a roughly coherent (read: Utterly absurd) storyline sketched out, I just need to figure out a writing style that can appropriately communicate the crazy camp mood I'm going for. I know it'd work dramatically better as a comic, but unless there are any spectacularly bored artists swanning around... hmm, perhaps writing it and then doing a dramatic reading would be the best way to communicate the craziness...

[Gaelbert]

Okay, I've got a roughly coherent (read: Utterly absurd) storyline sketched out, I just need to figure out a writing style that can appropriately communicate the crazy camp mood I'm going for. I know it'd work dramatically better as a comic, but unless there are any spectacularly bored artists swanning around... hmm, perhaps writing it and then doing a dramatic reading would be the best way to communicate the craziness...

If you have a roughly coherent story out of all that, you're doing it wrong.

[Thanqol]

If you have a roughly coherent story out of all that, you're doing it wrong.

What I did was pick a few concepts that kind of fit together and put the rest into a 'for future episodes' pile. If you want me to write something using every idea in the pile I can do that but that's going to cross the line of self parody into the Twilight Sparkle Zone.

Make your pick, oh great and terrible internet.

[Gaelbert]

I kid, I kid. Write the story you want to write. That's the one I want to read.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

On a less horrifyingly mindscaring topic - hurr hurr hurr - here's an assessment of the total shipping of the community

Spoiler

Show

*notices five lines' worth of ApplejackxBigMac shipping*

*is not less mindscarred*