My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology

[darthbobcat]

*notices five lines' worth of ApplejackxBigMac shipping*

*is not less mindscarred*

So... where are the Derpy shipping fics? I'm not much for ship fics, but THAT has my curiosity piqued.

[SiuiS]

Luna only knows what I've missed since I started readin Part 3. I have some comments along editorial lines (since it said you thanked Playgrounders, and I'd hate for you not to have a good reason)

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"She managed to drop it before she opened the door"
You should specify the look is what is dropped. I thought she threw down the tea set for a half-second.

"¬¬¬ Rarity said, "Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here"
Is.. Is that symbol supposed to be there?

"Rainbow Dash Rarity winced as Rainbow Dash reminded her of her problems."
Edit SNAFU. I love those. I do them all the time :3

The transition to Fluttershy getting the Best Pegasus Ever Award was awkward. I thought she was actually getting the award! Keep in mind I'm at 'no brain today' late, so hat might be it.

I'm loving the story so far. Dash is believable, the tone is just right to be canonical-yet-distinctly-fan-made, and

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what the hay is the story with the sandworms! I'd say it's fanon because I've seen I a couple other times, but probably just in fair feather friend 1&2.

Hm. I feel inspired. I will dig out my old tablet and see if I can make masterpieces on par with the greats (that is, at least as good as Thanqol).

[Irbis]

My guess would be the website. As far as I know, they've completed the show already. Even if they haven't, given the voting ended, at the earliest, last week, that's certainly not enough time to create an entire scene for the show. I can't see that working terribly well.

Eh, I think the 'vote' is a fraud. Someone on ED mentioned it wasn't first episode to get one, yet, no alternative scenes surfaced, and besides, this 'pool' doesn't show you results, letting canon option win.

Not to mention I'd love to see King Arthur one, but it doesn't fit in the altered theme. It would fit in the old MLP.

On a less horrifyingly mindscaring topic - hurr hurr hurr - here's an assessment of the total shipping of the community

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Rainbow Dash ships with everypony.

Hmm, two Trixie/Big Mac fics? Now that I have to see.

I hope they haven't counted "Punishment" as one of those.

Are there any fics that ship more than two ponies? A um... friend of mine wants to know.

As in, have triangles, or more than one pair? If the second, have one with happy Twilight

Noticed in one of the toy sections a Scootaloo toy.

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Note the lack of wings and presence of a cutie mark.

Eh, that's probably an earlier edition one.

Upload it onto Photobucket, then go to User CP and Edit Options. There'll be a space at the bottom of the page for you to put in the link from Photobucket.

Picasa's better, IMHO, especially if you already have Gmail account.

I am declaring an arbitrary, mandatory and necessary limit of 8 spoiler tags on ANYTHING. I couldn't actually read this, t broke my browser. I had to quote you to see what was goin' on in there.

I swear if I see that 'crush' thing one more time, I'll devote the rest of my life to finding ways of punching the offender through his screen :P

Wow, this thread does move fast. I'm caught between honoring good sir Bobcat's wishes, and just doin every other post myself to polish this thread off so Trixie can make a new one and then take a week's vacation 6_6

Or it it moves so fast it ends before predicted Wednesday date and I get to play Trollestia to Trixie's Luna and hijack it

Why are they crawling?!

By Celestia this is terrible... it's just creepy and I figured out why, they never turn their heads! The look up and down but their heads never turn! So they have to move their eyes all over the place to look at things.. it's just... disconcerting.

This just moves way into the uncanny valley and just frolics about in the deepest shadows of creepy it can find!

They may not turn their heads, but new MLP tendency to draw ponies only from one side, regardless of facing, especially by cheaper studio, is pretty disturbing, too.

How does everypony organize their pic folder? I'm trying to go through now and set up a good system.

By each named pony with more than 10 pictures/OCs/other (less than 10)/random stuff/pairs/group shots (more than three). I found it works pretty well.

[SiuiS]

They may not turn their heads, but new MLP tendency to draw ponies only from one side, regardless of facing, especially by cheaper studio, is pretty disturbing, too.

this is the second claim to shoddy animation that I just don't see. We've seen the ponies from almost all angles. They frequently change angles during episodes. Granted, the creepy baby ponies turned their heads as well, but the eye movement and... Beak wobbling were far more prominent.

Before someone asks, the first claim was "their hair is the same no matter which side thy are viewed from, like a sprite". I wagged a random early episode and enjoyed Rarity's hair behaving like actual hair. I just don't see what y'all are fussin' 'bout.

Or it it moves so fast it ends before predicted Wednesday date and I get to play Trollestia to Trixie's Luna and hijack it

Is that what she said? I don't know if I'm okay with a troll thread. There'd be Phoenix poop everywhere, and I couldn't touch the lemondrops! And the hole-in-the-lip cups, licking Luna's horn, sending Twilight Sparkle off to post notes about parties with the wrong information, planting fake 'fan' mail... No, that would be not cool.

[Irbis]

Before someone asks, the first claim was "their hair is the same no matter which side thy are viewed from, like a sprite". I wagged a random early episode and enjoyed Rarity's hair behaving like actual hair. I just don't see what y'all are fussin' 'bout.

Rarity, eh?

Example A Example B

Look at her hair, it is perfectly mirrored, regardless of side we view her. And she is only the most noticeable, as her hair is asymmetric, making use of the 'hair fell to the other side of the neck' impossible, but most of the time, it's the case with everypony.

Is that what she said? I don't know if I'm okay with a troll thread. There'd be Phoenix poop everywhere, and I couldn't touch the lemondrops! And the hole-in-the-lip cups, licking Luna's horn, sending Twilight Sparkle off to post notes about parties with the wrong information, planting fake 'fan' mail... No, that would be not cool.

No, that was what someone in the thread predicted.

And your quote contains a few examples of Trollestia I'm not aware of, and I wish to learn more

[Lix Lorn]

On a less horrifyingly mindscaring topic - hurr hurr hurr - here's an assessment of the total shipping of the community

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Rainbow Dash ships with everypony.

EXCEPT RARITY?!
(starts writing)

Are there any fics that ship more than two ponies? A um... friend of mine wants to know.
Srsly though, I'm curious.

There's a LunaTrixieTwilight somewhere..? (already forgot who did it)
...wait. Wasn't it Chasing Midnight?

[Orzel]

I really have to finish my Pony Spike fic eventually.

[Kairaven]

I know it'd work dramatically better as a comic, but unless there are any spectacularly bored artists swanning around...

Make it into a storybook type comic. like the Carrot Top one. If you can get it told in under 24 images I might take a crack at it. If it needs longer then maybe just minor illustrations then.

[EsperDerek]

On a less horrifyingly mindscaring topic - hurr hurr hurr - here's an assessment of the total shipping of the community

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Rainbow Dash ships with everypony.

For me, the one that sort of catches my 'weird' button is that single, solitary line going from Applejack to Celestia. I have never seen that one.

There's a LunaTrixieTwilight somewhere..? (already forgot who did it)
...wait. Wasn't it Chasing Midnight?

Indeed, there is a Luna/Trixie/Twilight scene in Reaching Midnight, because it amused me to write it to no end. They don't really end up in a permanent relationship by the end of the story, but you could make believe that they did if you wanted.

[Lix Lorn]

Hee.

(is writing RarityRainbow)


This will be my first piece of ponyfiction...

[Mystic Muse]

Hee.

(is writing RarityRainbow)


This will be my first piece of ponyfiction...

Yessss. Finish the fanfiction, and your journey to the pony side will be complete!

[Thanqol]

Okay bronies. Had to get in a fight and wreck my telephone for this but I'm finally done.

Operation: Indiscriminate Friendship Episode 50.

And also, Hurr Hurr Hurr. This video is going to win me so many internet arguments. (Alternate version)

Word.

[AlterForm]

Hee.

(is writing RarityRainbow)


This will be my first piece of ponyfiction...

I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of RarityDash showing up on ED soon.

iamokaywiththis.jpg

[EsperDerek]

Poor Rainbow Dash, she seems to go with everyone, doesn't she?

[Fjolnir]

She's obviously the adventurous one, not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Trobby]

I see.

I genuinely, factually preferred reading My Immortal to watching that video. I mean, there's legendarily bad and there's... legendarily bad.

EDIT: 3/4 in and this is all I can think

Fixed that for you.

Hey Guys! I have Chapter 3 of Fair Feather Friend ready ahead of schedule. So, here's the rough draft, and any and all critiques and comments before I put up the final version sometime tomorrow would be appreciated.

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*Snip*

Will read when ready. Looking forward to it.

Hee.

(is writing RarityRainbow)


This will be my first piece of ponyfiction...

:o

Doooo eeeet. <3

[Lix Lorn]

Done!
It's a little minimalistic, but... well. Maybe you'll get a kick out of it anyway?

...
CrudIforgottonameit.

Um.
Rainbow Dress?
Multitalented?
Beneath the Surface?

Beneath The Surface!

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“I’m not saying it. I don’t have to say it! Why would I say it I didn’t even do anything wrong-OW!”
“Just say it!” said Twilight in a quiet whisper, withdrawing her hoof from prodding Rainbow in the ribs.

Rainbow glared at her briefly. Twilight glared right back. Rainbow gave a melodramatic sigh and opened Rarity’s door.
“Rarity! You here? I uh. I need to talk to you!”
“Rainbow?” calls the fashion pony, poking her head through a half open door. “And Twilight, my dears. What bought you over to me today?”

“Um. Well.” starts Rainbow. “I... nothing, really, just wanted to say hi, I’ll be going n-OWW!”

Rainbow stepped away from Twilight, rubbing her side.
“I wanna say sorry for what happened yesterday, alright? I mean... pretty bad, I know.”
“Oh, that’s quite alright.” smiles Rarity. “Could have happened to anypony.”
“Yeah, I guess. But... “ she shudders. “It was horrible...”
“oh, well, if you feel that bad about it, maybe you could help me out a bit today.” suggests Rarity. “I have a lot of work to do, a couple of extra pairs of hooves would simply be wonderful.”
“Well I’m pretty busy-OW-but I can make time! Wouldn’t want to uh... disappoint my dear friend Rarity?”

Rarity raises an eyebrow at Twilight, who gives a wide grin.
“Well it’s very nice to see you two getting on so well, I’d best be going now.” says the unicorn brightly. “Have fun!”
“Oh, I am sure we will.”
“Yeah. Great fun. Woohoo.”

* * *

“Rainbow, fetch me the sewing machine?”
“Rainbow, be a dear and get the red fabric?”
“Rainbow, go find the designs for me?”
“Rainbow, could you fetch some food for Opalescence?”
“Rainbow, get the blue dye for me?”
“Rainbow, help me cut this into shape?”
“Rainbow... you look simply exhausted!” exclaims Rarity.

“Wh...whatever gave you THAT idea?”pants Rainbow, lying on her back in a heap of offcuts.
“Now this won’t do at all. Why don’t you go and take a break? Maybe have some lunch? I can function just fine without you for an hour, dear.”

Rainbow would have been out of the door in a flash! If it weren’t for being exhausted. As it was, she tripped over an offcut and rolled out.

Today was not shaping up to be a great day.

* * *

“Nnngh...” groaned the weatherpony, as she sat down to a bowl of flowers. Some time to relax by herself and calm down and...
“Rainbow!”
Oh Celestia no.
“Rainbow!” calls Twilight again, running over. “Why are you here?”
“Rarity told me to have a break because I was practically unconscious.” says Rainbow belligerently. “What of it?”
“Well, that was nice of her.” says Twilight. “How was it going? Were you having fun?”
“What do you think?”
“Um. Yes?”
“No. Not at all. This is boring! I want to be flying again!”
“Oh, well. Maybe next time you won’t do something with so much paint involved.”
“I told you that was an accident!”
“Sure it was, Rainbow.” smirks Twilight. “Sure it was. I have to go. Don’t be keeping Rarity waiting.”
“Hmph.” said Rainbow, taking a rather vicious bite of her flowers.

She managed to swallow them before she heard a voice.
“Rainbow, is that you?” it said quietly.

Rainbow hid her head in the flowers. Maybe they’d go away?
“Rainbow, Twilight said you were helping Rarity today, and I was just wondering how it was going...”

Rainbow groaned. Then she removed her head from the flowers.
“It’s dull. Like, REALLY dull.” she says.
“Oh...” murmurs Fluttershy. “Um... could you not try and enjoy it? I mean... if you wanted to, couldn’t you?”
“But she just keeps asking for these weird things!” exclaims Rainbow. “I don’t even know what she’s saying!”
“Umm. Maybe you should try asking then? It might be more fun then...”
“...I guess. Can’t make it any WORSE.” scowls Rainbow. “...thanks, Fluttershy.”
“Glad I could help...” smiles the shy pony. “I’d better go... the animals might need my help.”
“’kay. Seeya.” nods Rainbow, before going to take a bite out of her flowers, and stopping before she reaches them.

She looks around. No-one else she knows?
Nope.
Oh good.

She eats the flowers.

* * *

“Hey, Rarity! I’m back!” says Rainbow, swooping through the door into the organised workshop.
“Oh, good!” replies the unicorn, hard at work. “Could you fetch me the design again?”
“Sure can!” says Rainbow, trying to be interested. “So. Uh. What are you doing?”
“Oh, this is a dress for a lovely pony from the town just one over.” replies Rarity, not looking away from the sewing machine.
“Oh. Okay. How do you know what to do?”
“I look at the design, see?” she says, holding it up where they can both see it with her magic.
“So... they want a sweeping yellow... and a purple headdress? Ew. That’ll look horrid.” comments Rainbow.
“...yes, it will.” says Rarity, surprised. “That’s why I decided to make the dress itself purple, and the headdress-“
“Red? Red’ll look pretty cool.”
“...yes, actually. Have you done anything like this before?”
“Me? No, I don’t do this girly stuff.” says Rainbow. “I’m busy flying!”
“...you’ve never done it? But you have a gift! Clearly! For example.” Rarity exclaims, horn glowing as a pile of books collapses, a design floating out and over to them. “What colours would go best with this?”
“Blue and green.” says Rainbow without hesitation. “...oh.”
“Exactly! You simply must keep helping.”
“I... fine. Whatever.” says Rainbow, trying to downplay it. Rarity just smiles.

* * *

“You were wonderful, Rainbow. Simply amazing.”
“Hey, you’re pretty good too.” says the pegasus.
“Yes, but I am Rarity. Of course I’m going to be good.” smirks the fashion pony. “But you’re not! I’m simply astounded. I don’t understand how you could have come this far and not realised!”
“I told you, I’ve never done this girly stuff.” she says. “None of the others at Cloudsdale did. And you’re either a sports pony or you’re not.”
“That’s simply not true, Rainbow. Why, I’m sure you can be wonderful at both. Why don’t you come back tomorrow?”
“Nah, I have to do some training.” she shakes her head. “Besides, if you can be both, why don’t you come running with me?”
“...”

Rainbow smirked. There was no way Rarity would agree to-
“Very well. It might even be fun. And then the day after we can have a girl’s night out. I could style your hair for you!”
“Buh...wha?”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”

And now for a Letter to Celestia!

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Dear Princess Celestia.
In the last few days, two of my friends have learnt a very important lesson. Just because you're good at one thing, doesn't mean you have to be bad at other things. If you try out things you thought you ought to hate, you might find new passions in life.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

[Mystic Muse]

Done!
It's a little minimalistic, but... well. Maybe you'll get a kick out of it anyway?

I liked it.

[Lix Lorn]

I liked it.

Yay.

[EsperDerek]

Aww, it's a cute little story. Yeah, I liked it too.

[Kairaven]

Hey Guys! I have Chapter 3 of Fair Feather Friend ready ahead of schedule. So, here's the rough draft, and any and all critiques and comments before I put up the final version sometime tomorrow would be appreciated.

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*snip

Very nice, aside from Suis's suggestions, I just have a minor correction to the sentence "Rainbow Dash said laughed in her head." should probably be "Rainbow Dash said laughed in her head."
---------

@Lix

That's a very well done [Normal] tag fic. It wouldn't be classified as [Shipping] if that's what you were going for. I throughly enjoyed it.

[darthbobcat]

Luna only knows what I've missed since I started readin Part 3. I have some comments along editorial lines (since it said you thanked Playgrounders, and I'd hate for you not to have a good reason)

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"She managed to drop it before she opened the door"
You should specify the look is what is dropped. I thought she threw down the tea set for a half-second.

"¬¬¬ Rarity said, "Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here"
Is.. Is that symbol supposed to be there?

"Rainbow Dash Rarity winced as Rainbow Dash reminded her of her problems."
Edit SNAFU. I love those. I do them all the time :3

The transition to Fluttershy getting the Best Pegasus Ever Award was awkward. I thought she was actually getting the award! Keep in mind I'm at 'no brain today' late, so hat might be it.

I'm loving the story so far. Dash is believable, the tone is just right to be canonical-yet-distinctly-fan-made, and

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what the hay is the story with the sandworms! I'd say it's fanon because I've seen I a couple other times, but probably just in fair feather friend 1&2.

Hm. I feel inspired. I will dig out my old tablet and see if I can make masterpieces on par with the greats (that is, at least as good as Thanqol).

Hey, thanks.

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The Sandworms are just something I made up. They're the noodle incident of Fair Feather Friend.

Also, here's Chapter 3 with the edits that you guys and others have suggested.

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Fair Feather Friend
Chapter 3
By Bobcat
Note: Thanks again to everyone at Equestria Daily, and also to everyone who I know personally and at the Giants in the Playground forum who helped beta-read this fic for me.
************
It was a slow Tuesday morning at the Carousel Boutique, mostly because of the large sign on the door reading, "closed, sorry for the inconvenience." Inside, Rarity was trotting up the stairs, a tray of tea and plain white toast floating in front of her. She had a mixed look of annoyance and worry. "Really, that girl! It's not like I can take a day off whenever I like! This is going to put me so far behind!" She managed to put on a poker face before she opened the door to Sweetie Belle's guest room, replacing it with a smile. "Hello, Sweetie Belle! Are you feeling any better?"
Sweetie Belle moaned an inarticulate response from under her pillow. That was a step in the right direction; Rarity hadn't been able to rouse her an hour before.
Rarity put the tray down on Sweetie Belle's dresser and poured her a cup of tea. "Not to kick you when you're down, but... really? Cutie Mark Crusader Sushi Chefs?"
Sweetie Belle muttered, "Scootaloo's... idea..."
Rarity reached out and patted her little sister's back. "And now you've learned an important lesson about listening to Scootaloo, along with a lesson about properly handling raw eggs." Sweetie Belle let out another moan of protest. "Still, it's time for you to get some breakfast. I'm going to sit you up. You ready?" There was another moan. "Close enough." Rarity used her telekinesis again, bringing Sweetie Belle into a sitting position. "Open up. I made your favorite tea."
Sweetie Belle managed a, "thank you," before Rarity started feeding her. Rarity smiled. As much as her little sister could infuriate her, it was hard to hold her record of thievery and mischief against her when she was so pathetic. It wasn't much easier to blame their parents for being out of town when this happened, thus dropping the whole problem in her lap. As she finished, there came a knock at the front door to the boutique.
Sweetie Belle said, weakly, "Are you going to get that?"
Rarity shook her head. "No, I put out a sign. Everypony knows I'm closed for business today." After a moment, the knocking became more insistent. "Hmph. There's no manners in this town anymore. I suppose I'll go deal with it. Will you be okay while I go check on it?" Sweetie Belle nodded weakly.
***************
Rainbow Dash glared at the door as she kept knocking. "C'mon, c'mon, I don't have all day." Rainbow Dash was looking worse for wear, between a bad night's sleep and the attack by Baron Awesome.
Rarity opened the door and blinked in surprise. Rainbow Dash had expected that reaction. The last time she'd shown up at the boutique was via a crash landing.¬¬¬ Rarity said, "Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here? Are those disgusting Sand Worms back?" The unicorn was trembling slightly at the thought.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Why does everypony ask me that lately? I want to buy something."
As she visibly relaxed, Rarity shot the pegasus a glare. "Rainbow Dash! I am closed right now! Didn't you see the sign?"
"Yeah, but I assumed it didn't apply to me." This was said in the same tone that Rainbow Dash would use to say that the sky was blue.
Rarity facehoofed. "Of course you didn't."
"Why are you closed, anyway? I remember you talking about how behind you were in your work during the Sand Worm thing." Rainbow Dash
Rarity winced as Rainbow Dash reminded her of her problems. She raised her nose with a huff. "This isn't a personal day or the like. I'll have you know that I'm closed on account of illness."
Rainbow Dash squinted and gave Rarity a look over. "You don't look sick."
Rarity said, "Sweetie Belle's sick today, and I should really get back to her. So if you'll excuse me..."
Rainbow Dash stuck her foot in the door as Rarity tried to close it. "Look Rarity, I wouldn't bug you unless it was important." Rarity gave her a half lidded, skeptical look. "Okay, fine, I might bug you if it wasn't important. But that doesn't make this unimportant! You're the only pony I can turn to."
Rarity seemed conflicted. Finally, she sighed. "Very well. What can I do for you?" She closed the door behind Rainbow Dash as quickly as possible so nopony saw that she was making exceptions.
Rainbow Dash laughed in her head. Good, predictable Rarity. "Well, I need a thick, knee high leather boot. Nothing too fashionable, it just needs to be sturdy."
Rarity asked, "Front or back leg?"
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. She stuck her front leg and held it there for a moment, earning an odd look from Rarity. "Right foreleg."
Rarity paused. "Wait, you just want one boot?" Rainbow Dash nodded. Rarity went over to a horsequin and started loosening the bootstraps. "This should work, but I can't sell just one. After all, there isn't too much of a market for unmated boots, I'm sure you understand."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "So much for getting it half price..."
Rarity walked over and gestured for Rainbow Dash to raise her leg so she could slip it on. The boot fit almost perfectly. As she telekinetically put on the other boot, Rarity asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you need these for?"
Rainbow Dash froze in place. She didn't want anypony knowing about Baron Awesome until he'd gotten over his "random attack" habit, but as tired as she was, she hadn't even considered the need for a lie. As a result, her mouth panicked and went places her brain didn't want to go. "I want to look nice for my date tonight!" She kicked herself internally as Rarity's eyes lit up. She'd just promised one of Ponyville's leading gossips a rare treat.
Rarity said, "A date? Really? Who is he?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes glanced around as she looked, in vain, for clues. She saw the dress Rarity had worn in the Young Flyer's competition on another horsequin. "Uh, you don't know him. He's... an... old friend from Cloudsdale and he's in town just for today."
Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a once over and grew visibly disgusted. "Oh no no no, this is won't do! I don't mean any offense, Dash, but you're a wreck. This is going to require my full skills as a makeover artist! Nothing will stop me from my task of making you..."
Rainbow Dash prayed for some sort of intervention.
From upstairs, there was the sound of groans and something splattering as it hit the floor. This was followed by a weak voice saying, "Rarity? I went sick on the floor..."
In that moment, Rainbow Dash became a fervent believer in miracles.
Rarity said... nah, Rainbow Dash must have misheard her. Rarity wasn't the sort of pony to use that word. She called up the stairs, "I'm coming, Sweetie, don't worry." She turned to Dash. "I'm sorry, Dash, but I need to get back to helping Sweetie Belle. You can pay me for the boots later."
"Can I ask how much?" Dash had been dreading this. With her recent pet store related expenses, it was going to be a lean month as it was.
Rarity quoted a price. Rainbow Dash's knees went wobbly. "THAT much for boots?"
Rarity was busy getting a mop and bucket from her supply closet. "That's with a friendship discount. You won't get a better price is town, since that's pretty much selling them at cost."
Rainbow Dash swallowed. "Can I get them on layaway?"
Rarity nodded. "Certainly, you can give me 20 bits weekly..." As the word "weekly" crossed her lips, she paused and almost dropped her telekinetically lifted bucket. Her expression grew even more worried. "Oh no, I completely forgot! It's my spa day with Fluttershy. I completely forgot to have somepony tell her, and it starts in... ten minutes! She's probably there already! She'll be so disappointed if I miss it... and those dresses! And Sweetie Belle! And your makeover!" Rarity lifted up a paper bag and started hyperventilating into it.
Rainbow Dash, as oblivious as she could be, was starting to worry that her friend was about to have a heart attack. "Um, you okay Rarity?"
Rarity spun around and looked at Rainbow Dash with an uncomfortably intense expression. "Of course! I can kill two of those birds with one stone!" She started writing on a note card. "I need you to go to the spa in my place. Tell Fluttershy what happened." She magically lifted over the card. "Show them this and tell them to give you my usual. When they're done with you, your friend will be eating out of your hoof!"
Rainbow Dash was about to protest... when she realized she was trapped in the cage of her lies. She'd been willing to spend a small fortune (to her at least) on boots to impress this hypothetical guy. If she turned down a free makeover and wasn't willing to help Fluttershy, that would just raise more questions and would expose her whole secret. Plus, if she didn't remove at least a little stress from Rarity's life, she'd lose more time flying the unicorn to the hospital. "... fine."
****************
In the Ponyville Spa's waiting room, Fluttershy was reading the new copy of Young Bridle magazine. As she finished skimming all of the ads, she let out a sigh of relief. It was the first time since Photo Finish had tried to turn her into a star that none of the ads had featured her. "Oh thank goodness. Now I can go back to normal." The money had been nice, but it definitely wasn't worth the extra attention. Though, since there wouldn't be any residuals this month... Angel Bunny was NOT going to be happy about going back to normal toilet paper.
Just as Fluttershy was about to check the clock again (she wasn't worried, since Rarity was often a little late) when Rainbow Dash walked in through the door. Fluttershy blinked in surprise. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. What..."
Rainbow Dash interrupted her. "Look, before you ask, the sand worms aren't back! Why does everypony assume that I only go places when things go wrong?" Rainbow Dash was annoyed and she didn't care who knew.
Fluttershy said, "Oh, that's too bad. The sand worms weren't too bad once you got to know them." She put down her magazine. "Then what are you here for?"
Rainbow Dash said, slightly dejectedly, "Rarity said she couldn't make it today, and because of a bunch of stuff I don't really want to get into, I'm taking her place as your spa buddy."
Fluttershy smiled in her cherubic little way. "Oh, how lovely. It's too bad about Rarity, but it will be nice for the two of us to get some time to ourselves."
*****************
In the same day, Rainbow Dash had come to believe in miracles and now was experiencing a taste of hell. The fact that Rarity put up with strangers poking her, prodding her, covering her in seaweed, putting curlers in her hair, shoving her in thick pools of boiling mud, putting green gunk on her face and putting weird gunk in her hair (and claimed to ENJOY it) just proved to her that Rarity had no taste. Clearly Fluttershy had the right idea. The twin spa attendants barely touched the pink haired pegasus.
Rainbow Dash sighed contentedly as one of the attendants spooned another ladleful of water onto the heated rock in the steam room. A good steam she could understand!
For once, Fluttershy was doing most of the talking. "And then Angel Bunny just did the cutest little... am I boring you?"
Rainbow Dash, thinking about how much she just wanted to go home, said, "Nope, keep telling me about the ferrets."
Fluttershy looked down and blushed. "Um, I finished talking about those during the seaweed wrap." Her voice trailed off towards the end.
Rainbow Dash wanted to kick herself as she saw the poor yellow Pegasus' face fall. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy. My brain's just miles away right now." Fluttershy squeaked something that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear. Rainbow Dash really wished that somepony who was good at this whole personal interaction thing was here to mediate. Dash locked eyes with the spa attendant and gestured for her to leave. Shrugging, the earth pony trotted out of the room.
Fluttershy seemed to open up slightly at that. She muttered something that Rainbow Dash couldn't catch. Seeing that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear her, she mustered up some assertiveness and said, "I'm sorry, I really didn't want to bore you. I heard about your pet problem and I thought you'd enjoy hearing about my animal friends and I guess I was just boring and I didn't want to make it worse and..."
Rainbow Dash made a "time out" motion. "Okay, just how many ponies did Applejack tell?"
Fluttershy said, "Well, Applejack told Pinkie Pie, and then Pinkie Pie told me, but she made me promise not to tell anypony but you and Rarity and Twilight Sparkle, because friends keep secrets."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Pinkie Pie? Keeping a secret?" Rainbow Dash couldn't imagine that blabbermouth keeping anything to herself ever.
Fluttershy squeaked in terror. Rainbow Dash just got confused. Finally, Fluttershy said, "Well, um, I do want to help you out. I can't imagine living without animals when you really want them. After this, do you want to come over and play for a while?"
Rainbow Dash was simultaneously touched and severely irritated. After all, Fluttershy obviously really wanted to help her, as much of a jerk as she'd been today. On the other hand, she needed to be at work in a few hours and every second here was a second away from Baron Awesome, the real solution to her problem. "Um, I'm sorry, Fluttershy, it sounds like fun, but I have to go to work soon, and I need to take care of some stuff." Fluttershy's frown deepened and Rainbow Dash could practically here the yellow pegasus beating herself up on the inside. "We'll do it some other time, okay?"
Fluttershy smiled wanly. "Okay, Rainbow Dash."
There was silence for a long moment. How long, neither was sure, but it certainly seemed like a small eternity. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, "So, Pinkie's good at keeping secrets? Really?"
Fluttershy said, "Oh, yes. Here, I can show you, but don't get too scared about what happens next." Fluttershy walked over to the door, opened it and called out, "Oh, Aloe? Could you come here? I need to tell you something."
**********************
Pinkie Pie, now clad in her own bathrobe to match those of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, giggled excitedly as they left the spa. "Wow, that was great. I should come along more often! I wish I'd been there for more than the last massage and that thing with the pool. Why were there little fish in there again?" She was apparently unaware of the thousand yard stare Rainbow Dash was giving the world.
"Well," replied Fluttershy, "the little fish eat the dead skin off our hooves. It makes them softer. Also, the little dears get lunch at the same time."
Pinkie Pie nodded vigorously. "Ohhhhh. That's smart!"
Rainbow Dash finally burst. "Where the hay did you come from? One second Fluttershy was talking to Aloe about my problems and then... you... where?"
Pinkie Pie grinned mischievously. "Now that... is a secret."
Rainbow Dash's brain was stuck in the same circular rut it got into whenever Pinkie Pie challenged her view of reality in a new way. Pinkie's goofing around wasn't helping it. Finally, she shook her head and took off. "Alright, anyway, I gotta get going. Later, guys." She was winging away at top speed before either could reply.
"Do you think she knows what she looks like?"
Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin. "Oh my, no, I don't think so."
Pinkie Pie sighed. "Now I really really really really wish I was on the weather patrol. Just wait 'til they get a load of her!"
********************
"Baron Awesome, I'm home!" Rainbow Dash found the Baron standing atop the perch she'd set up for him that morning. "Glad you like that thing I got ya. Cloud safe pet supplies are not cheap, let me tell you..."
Baron Awesome, fed up with being cooped up all day, took off and charged directly as his captor. He gave a loud shriek and went in talons first.
Fortunately, his talons got caught in the bathrobe instead of in Rainbow Dash's foreleg. With her own cry of surprise, she managed to slip it off. She reared up on her hind legs and shielded her face. "What the hay is wrong with you, Baron Awesome? I was just gone three hours!"
Baron Awesome disentangled himself from his white cotton trap and realized that the blue thing was still bigger than him. Moreover, it looked like she had another fishy offering. All was forgiven. He grabbed the dropped rainbow trout, flew back to his pillow nest and started to devour it.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief. Knowing better than to be friendly while the Baron was eating, Dash got her own lunch. Fortunately, this time it was some takeout from Sakura's Far East Grill, so it was free of little green spots.
"Maybe this isn't as awesome an idea as I thought it was." For the first time, she felt doubt settle in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was time to swallow her pride and get some help from somepony who knew what they were doing, like Fluttershy? "Yeah, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"
*********************
At the center of town, Fluttershy blushed demurely as everypony in Ponyville milled around. She didn't like the attention, but she put up with it. After all, it wasn't every day that the Mayor herself gave you the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award!
The Mayor walked up on stage and everypony went silent. Speaking into the microphones, she declared, "Fillies and gentlecolts, we all know why we're here today. Today, we honor Ponyville's favorite daughter, Fluttershy, with the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award!" Everything after the word "Fluttershy" was drowned out as the crowd stomped and shouted. One could almost see the waves of love and adoration flow over the stage.
The Mayor, once there was silence again, continued her speech. "We have been looking for the most awesome pegasus for years. At one point, we considered Rainbow Dash. However, after she asked Fluttershy for help doing something as simple as taking care of one pet, we realized she was hopeless. I mean, look at how good a job Fluttershy did with Baron Cuddles!"
Baron Cuddles, a very familiar brown falcon, swooped down from above and landed on Fluttershy's outstretched hoof. She didn't even need a falconer's glove, he was so well trained.
The Mayor continued. "After all, who can forget how much better life is with Baron Cuddles around? The babies saved from burning buildings, the hours of community service with the blind and, of course, the new youth center!"
Over the general applause, one could hear Scootaloo shout out, "Yeah, to think I used to look up to Rainbow Dash!"
The Mayor said, "So, in honor of this award, Fluttershy will be inducted into the Wonderbolts, get a huge state pension and be promoted to Princess!" The applause was deafening.
Meanwhile, in her cloud house, a very wall eyed blue pegasus wearing a dunce cap was coloring quietly with a friend. Rainbow Dash said, "Aw, coloring in the lines is hard."
Derpy rolled her eyes (oddly focused for a change). "Sheesh, Rainbow Dash, you're lame."
Rainbow Dash started to cry. "Sorry, I can't brain today. I have the dumb."
**********************
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Okay, it probably wouldn't be that bad." She thought for a moment. "Probably. But why do it if I don't have to?" Noticing that Baron Awesome had finished his fish, she slowly made her way over. "Hey Baron, don't mind me. We're bros, right? Yeah. You're all comfy womfy and happy, aren't you?"
The Baron eyed her suspiciously as she came closer. The blue thing was so confusing. Sometimes it attacked him and tried to grab him so that she could eat him. Then, sometimes, she'd bring him food. And he still had no idea how he went from flying into a tree to being in this weird... white... fluffy place. He also had no idea why he wasn't allowed to leave. The blue thing knew how to open the door, but he couldn't. There were gaps in the wall, but they were covered by some sort of invisible barrier that prevented his passing. He was trapped but good.
Rainbow Dash tentatively stretched out a hoof. This was it. The acid test. If she couldn't touch him when he was at his happiest, she was flying straight to Fluttershy's to beg for help, pride be hanged. "Hey boy, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're my bro. I just wanna pet you. Is that so wrong? I mean, you're a pet, so the idea is to pet you. If I can't pet you, I might as well get some lame-o fish. So I'm just gonna reach out... and..."
Baron Awesome looked at her freshly pedicured hoof, then into her eyes, and then back. He was feeling full and lazy. From his current position, he wouldn't be able to take off in time to get away. His only option was to bite her for all he was worth. He puffed up his feathers...
And he looked in her eyes again. Every set of eyes he had ever seen had the angry intensity of a bird of prey. His mother, other males he had fought for territory, the mate he'd raised a pair of chicks with, they all had their eyes set in one way. Those eyes all promised bloody revenge if he stepped out of line. The eyes of this blue thing did not. Her eyes were soft. Her body language was slow and careful. He was helpless. Yesterday, he'd been more helpless. He was still alive, and she kept giving him food. She wasn't his mother... was she trying to be his mother?
Both falcon and pegasus wrestled with instinct; the first to lash out, the second to withdraw her hoof. As hoof touched feather, both flinched, each expecting the worst from the other. Both had their worst fears dashed. Both let out breath they hadn't realized they were holding.
And so, for the next hour, pegasus stroked falcon, and the two enjoyed each other's company.
*************************
Rainbow Dash was walking on cloud nine. This was because the local weather patrol office was located there. She was also deliriously happy. "Lah lah lah, I got a pet and it's better than a dog so take that Applejack and also you too self doubt, lah lah lah, cause I didn't need help," she sang to herself as she trotted in to work.
She walked over to her locker and got out her work helmet. Today was scheduled for hail, so everypony had to have their safety gear. As she started sliding on her bright orange work vest, there came a voice from behind. It was a tan pegasus mare wearing the same gear as Rainbow Dash. "Uh, ma'am, I'm afraid the locker room is for employees only."
Rainbow Dash turned around. "What are you talking about, Lightning Bolt?"
Lightning Bolt blinked. "Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, of course it's me! What, you got gunk in your eyes?"
Lightning Bolt pointed at a mirror. "Um, did you lose a bet or something?"
The blue pegasus snorted and walked over to the mirror. "I did not lose... a..." Rainbow Dash fell silent as she took in exactly what Aloe and Lotus had done to her. Her mane and tail were perfectly straight and styled into a trendy haircut she'd occasionally mocked. Her face was accented by a tasteful amount of makeup. Her fur was radiant, and her hooves, normally chipped, were... perfect. In fact, perfect summed up everything she was seeing. Rainbow Dash had no idea she could look that good. She almost wished she actually had a date that night.
Lightning Bolt asked, "So, uh, what did happen then?"
Rainbow Dash, admiring herself (no wonder Rarity was always doing that, it was fun when you had this sort of reflection to look at!), said, "Um, actually, yeah. I lost a bet. That's it. Silly me."
Lightning Bolt laughed. "It must've been a doozy, 'cause you look really girly." Lightning Bolt checked the clock on the wall. "You're gonna have to tell me about that later. We're gonna be late if we don't hurry up." Lightning Bolt started trotting away. She paused when she saw that Rainbow Dash still hadn't moved from the mirror. "Uh, Dash, you coming?"
"Me and the mirror are gonna need another two minutes alone. Go without me."
*******************
End Part 3
To Be Continued

This isn't the final draft. Just Draft 2, so that anyone who reads it with suggestions doesn't see the same mistakes as others.

[Kairaven]

Nice! the only thing I caught on second read through was the act that RD was still wearing spa bathrobe after leaving the spa and going home to have BA sink its talons in it.

Of which logical thought tells me that spa bathrobe usually don't leave the spa (oh RD... did you steal Rarity's custom designated spa robe?). And that it's pretty hard for a pegasus to fly with a robe on.

Yet, the prop is needed for the next scene. what to do....oh wait, the boots, no reason why RD wouldn't have the boots on already. so "white cotton trap' can become "tough impregnable armor"

[Trobby]

@^: I didn't think of that myself...but that's a good point. :o Well done, fellow critic.

Okay, here goes my comments on Chapter 3 of "Fair Feather Friend"'s rough draft. I've put comments on each 'section' of the story, to better help you smooth out the edges.

Fair Feather Friend
Chapter 3
By Bobcat
Note: Thanks again to everyone at Equestria Daily, and also to everyone who I know personally and at the Giants in the Playground forum who helped beta-read this fic for me.

Spoiler

Show

************
I feel like Sweetie Belle would try to resist her sister’s caregiving just a little more. Particularly being doted over so much, even in her state of sickness. Though I DO love the fact that the Cutie Mark Crusader Sushi Chef plan came back in this part to rear its ugly head again. I wonder how many readers will remember that?

Also, unless you want Rarity to look like she holds her sister in low regard, you should say that it’s “Hard to hold her record of thievery and mischief over her when she looked so pathetic, rather than was so pathetic. The latter implies that she’s always like this, which I don’t think is what you mean.

***************
…Sand worms? As Twilight would say, I don’t get it. ._. Also, Dash should probably say “I just want to buy something”. Pedantic yes, but I’m Mr. Padanticy Pants.

There’s also a long stretch of “Rarity says/Dash says”, which isn’t too bad, but might throw some people off a bit. It only happens a few times, so it’s not a bid deal. Just try to put a little more description into their lines, such as whether or not they’re looking at the other pony while talking, or if there’s a hint of annoyance in their voice. Though I get the feeling this is just a stand-in for you to fill with better description later, since your one line, “Rainbow Dash said laughed in her head.”, doesn’t make any sense otherwise.
And an outright typo: “You won't get a better price is town, since that's pretty much selling them at cost."” You’ll want to correct that one.

****************
Um…Angel Bunny and…toilet paper? That’s kind of a weird thing for a bunny to be concerned about. Even in this magical world. Maybe ESPECIALLY in this magical world. Maybe try something else? Like store brand carrots?

Another typo: Just as Fluttershy was about to check the clock again (she wasn't worried, since Rarity was often a little late) when Rainbow Dash

*****************
No problems here. Though I LOVE the canonization of Pinkie’s supernatural ability to detect secret spilling.
**********************
Nothing really to say here. Though against my better judgement, I actually feel like I should ENCOURAGE you to add an exclamation mark after nearly all of Pinkie’s lines. She just doesn’t strike me as a pony with any indoor voice. Ever.
********************
The transition from narration to dialogue at the end here is just a tad strange, but only slightly. No real problems here.
*********************
…No comment. Except that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE WAY YOU DO RAINBOW DASH’S IMAGINATION! <3<3<3 It's so delightfully absurd and exaggerated.

…Oh, and you should probably make this whole section italicized, to avoid confusion over whether or not this is actually happening. Granted it becomes REALLY obvious right at the start, but the visual cue of “this is a dream/imagination sequence” would help.

**********************
…I said d’aww so many times here I lost count.

I feel like the last sentence is a little weak though. This is a HUGE moment for Rainbow Dash. It seems like a really tiny payoff for all she’s done, and I’d like to think that RD at least considers this to be a huge deal, after all that she’s invested into Baron Awesome.

*starts reading the next passage* …Ah. I see. Very clever. You wind this round, Darthbobcat.

*************************
Hah…Rainbow Dash admiring herself in the mirror…both something she’d never do, and yet something that seems totally in-character for her in this specific circumstance.

I wonder now, at the end of this part, how much longer RD is going to go on with keeping her pet-holding a secret…it feels like Part 4 is going to introduce some form of conflict, but I can’t really guess what it’s going to be yet. Maybe Dash is fed up with giving up so much of her free time to taking care of her pet? Maybe Baron Awesome is getting lonely and Dash is picking up on her pet’s displeasure? Maybe she actually DOES get a date because of the incredible makeover that she got?

Maybe The Giggler has developed a new chemical that makes all the fish in the river giggle like crazy, and it’s up to Rainbow Dash and Baron Awesome to put a stop to her silliness?

I hope my comments help, and I really have to say that I love your writing style. Keep writing!

*******************
End Part 3
To Be Continued

And it apparently took me so long that you've already made other edits to your story. X_X RE-READING TIME.



Edit In: And also a review for Lix! @_@;

This is a more general suggestion for her though. It's a good story, but you might want to include a little more description in what each pony does while they speak. It'll help emphasize the mood they have when they're doing a certain thing.

Other than that? It seems like a great fic. More of a friendship than a shipping fic though, so probably not going under the [Shipping] tag.

[Lix Lorn]

@Lix

That's a very well done [Normal] tag fic. It wouldn't be classified as [Shipping] if that's what you were going for. I throughly enjoyed it.

Thank you!
I was trying to make it shipping, but... it didn't happen.

[Mystic Muse]

Thank you!
I was trying to make it shipping, but... it didn't happen.

Yes it did.

It was friendshipping

[Gaelbert]

Hey, thanks.

Spoiler

Show

The Sandworms are just something I made up. They're the noodle incident of Fair Feather Friend.

Also, here's Chapter 3 with the edits that you guys and others have suggested.

Spoiler

Show

Fair Feather Friend
Chapter 3
By Bobcat
Note: Thanks again to everyone at Equestria Daily, and also to everyone who I know personally and at the Giants in the Playground forum who helped beta-read this fic for me.
************
It was a slow Tuesday morning at the Carousel Boutique, mostly because of the large sign on the door reading, "closed, sorry for the inconvenience." Inside, Rarity was trotting up the stairs, a tray of tea and plain white toast floating in front of her. She had a mixed look of annoyance and worry. "Really, that girl! It's not like I can take a day off whenever I like! This is going to put me so far behind!" She managed to put on a poker face before she opened the door to Sweetie Belle's guest room, replacing it with a smile. "Hello, Sweetie Belle! Are you feeling any better?"
Sweetie Belle moaned an inarticulate response from under her pillow. That was a step in the right direction; Rarity hadn't been able to rouse her an hour before.
Rarity put the tray down on Sweetie Belle's dresser and poured her a cup of tea. "Not to kick you when you're down, but... really? Cutie Mark Crusader Sushi Chefs?"
Sweetie Belle muttered, "Scootaloo's... idea..."
Rarity reached out and patted her little sister's back. "And now you've learned an important lesson about listening to Scootaloo, along with a lesson about properly handling raw eggs." Sweetie Belle let out another moan of protest. "Still, it's time for you to get some breakfast. I'm going to sit you up. You ready?" There was another moan. "Close enough." Rarity used her telekinesis again, bringing Sweetie Belle into a sitting position. "Open up. I made your favorite tea."
Sweetie Belle managed a, "thank you," before Rarity started feeding her. Rarity smiled. As much as her little sister could infuriate her, it was hard to hold her record of thievery and mischief against her when she was so pathetic. It wasn't much easier to blame their parents for being out of town when this happened, thus dropping the whole problem in her lap. As she finished, there came a knock at the front door to the boutique.
Sweetie Belle said, weakly, "Are you going to get that?"
Rarity shook her head. "No, I put out a sign. Everypony knows I'm closed for business today." After a moment, the knocking became more insistent. "Hmph. There's no manners in this town anymore. I suppose I'll go deal with it. Will you be okay while I go check on it?" Sweetie Belle nodded weakly.
***************
Rainbow Dash glared at the door as she kept knocking. "C'mon, c'mon, I don't have all day." Rainbow Dash was looking worse for wear, between a bad night's sleep and the attack by Baron Awesome.
Rarity opened the door and blinked in surprise. Rainbow Dash had expected that reaction. The last time she'd shown up at the boutique was via a crash landing.¬¬¬ Rarity said, "Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here? Are those disgusting Sand Worms back?" The unicorn was trembling slightly at the thought.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Why does everypony ask me that lately? I want to buy something."
As she visibly relaxed, Rarity shot the pegasus a glare. "Rainbow Dash! I am closed right now! Didn't you see the sign?"
"Yeah, but I assumed it didn't apply to me." This was said in the same tone that Rainbow Dash would use to say that the sky was blue.
Rarity facehoofed. "Of course you didn't."
"Why are you closed, anyway? I remember you talking about how behind you were in your work during the Sand Worm thing." Rainbow Dash
Rarity winced as Rainbow Dash reminded her of her problems. She raised her nose with a huff. "This isn't a personal day or the like. I'll have you know that I'm closed on account of illness."
Rainbow Dash squinted and gave Rarity a look over. "You don't look sick."
Rarity said, "Sweetie Belle's sick today, and I should really get back to her. So if you'll excuse me..."
Rainbow Dash stuck her foot in the door as Rarity tried to close it. "Look Rarity, I wouldn't bug you unless it was important." Rarity gave her a half lidded, skeptical look. "Okay, fine, I might bug you if it wasn't important. But that doesn't make this unimportant! You're the only pony I can turn to."
Rarity seemed conflicted. Finally, she sighed. "Very well. What can I do for you?" She closed the door behind Rainbow Dash as quickly as possible so nopony saw that she was making exceptions.
Rainbow Dash laughed in her head. Good, predictable Rarity. "Well, I need a thick, knee high leather boot. Nothing too fashionable, it just needs to be sturdy."
Rarity asked, "Front or back leg?"
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. She stuck her front leg and held it there for a moment, earning an odd look from Rarity. "Right foreleg."
Rarity paused. "Wait, you just want one boot?" Rainbow Dash nodded. Rarity went over to a horsequin and started loosening the bootstraps. "This should work, but I can't sell just one. After all, there isn't too much of a market for unmated boots, I'm sure you understand."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "So much for getting it half price..."
Rarity walked over and gestured for Rainbow Dash to raise her leg so she could slip it on. The boot fit almost perfectly. As she telekinetically put on the other boot, Rarity asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you need these for?"
Rainbow Dash froze in place. She didn't want anypony knowing about Baron Awesome until he'd gotten over his "random attack" habit, but as tired as she was, she hadn't even considered the need for a lie. As a result, her mouth panicked and went places her brain didn't want to go. "I want to look nice for my date tonight!" She kicked herself internally as Rarity's eyes lit up. She'd just promised one of Ponyville's leading gossips a rare treat.
Rarity said, "A date? Really? Who is he?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes glanced around as she looked, in vain, for clues. She saw the dress Rarity had worn in the Young Flyer's competition on another horsequin. "Uh, you don't know him. He's... an... old friend from Cloudsdale and he's in town just for today."
Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a once over and grew visibly disgusted. "Oh no no no, this is won't do! I don't mean any offense, Dash, but you're a wreck. This is going to require my full skills as a makeover artist! Nothing will stop me from my task of making you..."
Rainbow Dash prayed for some sort of intervention.
From upstairs, there was the sound of groans and something splattering as it hit the floor. This was followed by a weak voice saying, "Rarity? I went sick on the floor..."
In that moment, Rainbow Dash became a fervent believer in miracles.
Rarity said... nah, Rainbow Dash must have misheard her. Rarity wasn't the sort of pony to use that word. She called up the stairs, "I'm coming, Sweetie, don't worry." She turned to Dash. "I'm sorry, Dash, but I need to get back to helping Sweetie Belle. You can pay me for the boots later."
"Can I ask how much?" Dash had been dreading this. With her recent pet store related expenses, it was going to be a lean month as it was.
Rarity quoted a price. Rainbow Dash's knees went wobbly. "THAT much for boots?"
Rarity was busy getting a mop and bucket from her supply closet. "That's with a friendship discount. You won't get a better price is town, since that's pretty much selling them at cost."
Rainbow Dash swallowed. "Can I get them on layaway?"
Rarity nodded. "Certainly, you can give me 20 bits weekly..." As the word "weekly" crossed her lips, she paused and almost dropped her telekinetically lifted bucket. Her expression grew even more worried. "Oh no, I completely forgot! It's my spa day with Fluttershy. I completely forgot to have somepony tell her, and it starts in... ten minutes! She's probably there already! She'll be so disappointed if I miss it... and those dresses! And Sweetie Belle! And your makeover!" Rarity lifted up a paper bag and started hyperventilating into it.
Rainbow Dash, as oblivious as she could be, was starting to worry that her friend was about to have a heart attack. "Um, you okay Rarity?"
Rarity spun around and looked at Rainbow Dash with an uncomfortably intense expression. "Of course! I can kill two of those birds with one stone!" She started writing on a note card. "I need you to go to the spa in my place. Tell Fluttershy what happened." She magically lifted over the card. "Show them this and tell them to give you my usual. When they're done with you, your friend will be eating out of your hoof!"
Rainbow Dash was about to protest... when she realized she was trapped in the cage of her lies. She'd been willing to spend a small fortune (to her at least) on boots to impress this hypothetical guy. If she turned down a free makeover and wasn't willing to help Fluttershy, that would just raise more questions and would expose her whole secret. Plus, if she didn't remove at least a little stress from Rarity's life, she'd lose more time flying the unicorn to the hospital. "... fine."
****************
In the Ponyville Spa's waiting room, Fluttershy was reading the new copy of Young Bridle magazine. As she finished skimming all of the ads, she let out a sigh of relief. It was the first time since Photo Finish had tried to turn her into a star that none of the ads had featured her. "Oh thank goodness. Now I can go back to normal." The money had been nice, but it definitely wasn't worth the extra attention. Though, since there wouldn't be any residuals this month... Angel Bunny was NOT going to be happy about going back to normal toilet paper.
Just as Fluttershy was about to check the clock again (she wasn't worried, since Rarity was often a little late) when Rainbow Dash walked in through the door. Fluttershy blinked in surprise. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. What..."
Rainbow Dash interrupted her. "Look, before you ask, the sand worms aren't back! Why does everypony assume that I only go places when things go wrong?" Rainbow Dash was annoyed and she didn't care who knew.
Fluttershy said, "Oh, that's too bad. The sand worms weren't too bad once you got to know them." She put down her magazine. "Then what are you here for?"
Rainbow Dash said, slightly dejectedly, "Rarity said she couldn't make it today, and because of a bunch of stuff I don't really want to get into, I'm taking her place as your spa buddy."
Fluttershy smiled in her cherubic little way. "Oh, how lovely. It's too bad about Rarity, but it will be nice for the two of us to get some time to ourselves."
*****************
In the same day, Rainbow Dash had come to believe in miracles and now was experiencing a taste of hell. The fact that Rarity put up with strangers poking her, prodding her, covering her in seaweed, putting curlers in her hair, shoving her in thick pools of boiling mud, putting green gunk on her face and putting weird gunk in her hair (and claimed to ENJOY it) just proved to her that Rarity had no taste. Clearly Fluttershy had the right idea. The twin spa attendants barely touched the pink haired pegasus.
Rainbow Dash sighed contentedly as one of the attendants spooned another ladleful of water onto the heated rock in the steam room. A good steam she could understand!
For once, Fluttershy was doing most of the talking. "And then Angel Bunny just did the cutest little... am I boring you?"
Rainbow Dash, thinking about how much she just wanted to go home, said, "Nope, keep telling me about the ferrets."
Fluttershy looked down and blushed. "Um, I finished talking about those during the seaweed wrap." Her voice trailed off towards the end.
Rainbow Dash wanted to kick herself as she saw the poor yellow Pegasus' face fall. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy. My brain's just miles away right now." Fluttershy squeaked something that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear. Rainbow Dash really wished that somepony who was good at this whole personal interaction thing was here to mediate. Dash locked eyes with the spa attendant and gestured for her to leave. Shrugging, the earth pony trotted out of the room.
Fluttershy seemed to open up slightly at that. She muttered something that Rainbow Dash couldn't catch. Seeing that Rainbow Dash couldn't hear her, she mustered up some assertiveness and said, "I'm sorry, I really didn't want to bore you. I heard about your pet problem and I thought you'd enjoy hearing about my animal friends and I guess I was just boring and I didn't want to make it worse and..."
Rainbow Dash made a "time out" motion. "Okay, just how many ponies did Applejack tell?"
Fluttershy said, "Well, Applejack told Pinkie Pie, and then Pinkie Pie told me, but she made me promise not to tell anypony but you and Rarity and Twilight Sparkle, because friends keep secrets."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Pinkie Pie? Keeping a secret?" Rainbow Dash couldn't imagine that blabbermouth keeping anything to herself ever.
Fluttershy squeaked in terror. Rainbow Dash just got confused. Finally, Fluttershy said, "Well, um, I do want to help you out. I can't imagine living without animals when you really want them. After this, do you want to come over and play for a while?"
Rainbow Dash was simultaneously touched and severely irritated. After all, Fluttershy obviously really wanted to help her, as much of a jerk as she'd been today. On the other hand, she needed to be at work in a few hours and every second here was a second away from Baron Awesome, the real solution to her problem. "Um, I'm sorry, Fluttershy, it sounds like fun, but I have to go to work soon, and I need to take care of some stuff." Fluttershy's frown deepened and Rainbow Dash could practically here the yellow pegasus beating herself up on the inside. "We'll do it some other time, okay?"
Fluttershy smiled wanly. "Okay, Rainbow Dash."
There was silence for a long moment. How long, neither was sure, but it certainly seemed like a small eternity. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, "So, Pinkie's good at keeping secrets? Really?"
Fluttershy said, "Oh, yes. Here, I can show you, but don't get too scared about what happens next." Fluttershy walked over to the door, opened it and called out, "Oh, Aloe? Could you come here? I need to tell you something."
**********************
Pinkie Pie, now clad in her own bathrobe to match those of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, giggled excitedly as they left the spa. "Wow, that was great. I should come along more often! I wish I'd been there for more than the last massage and that thing with the pool. Why were there little fish in there again?" She was apparently unaware of the thousand yard stare Rainbow Dash was giving the world.
"Well," replied Fluttershy, "the little fish eat the dead skin off our hooves. It makes them softer. Also, the little dears get lunch at the same time."
Pinkie Pie nodded vigorously. "Ohhhhh. That's smart!"
Rainbow Dash finally burst. "Where the hay did you come from? One second Fluttershy was talking to Aloe about my problems and then... you... where?"
Pinkie Pie grinned mischievously. "Now that... is a secret."
Rainbow Dash's brain was stuck in the same circular rut it got into whenever Pinkie Pie challenged her view of reality in a new way. Pinkie's goofing around wasn't helping it. Finally, she shook her head and took off. "Alright, anyway, I gotta get going. Later, guys." She was winging away at top speed before either could reply.
"Do you think she knows what she looks like?"
Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin. "Oh my, no, I don't think so."
Pinkie Pie sighed. "Now I really really really really wish I was on the weather patrol. Just wait 'til they get a load of her!"
********************
"Baron Awesome, I'm home!" Rainbow Dash found the Baron standing atop the perch she'd set up for him that morning. "Glad you like that thing I got ya. Cloud safe pet supplies are not cheap, let me tell you..."
Baron Awesome, fed up with being cooped up all day, took off and charged directly as his captor. He gave a loud shriek and went in talons first.
Fortunately, his talons got caught in the bathrobe instead of in Rainbow Dash's foreleg. With her own cry of surprise, she managed to slip it off. She reared up on her hind legs and shielded her face. "What the hay is wrong with you, Baron Awesome? I was just gone three hours!"
Baron Awesome disentangled himself from his white cotton trap and realized that the blue thing was still bigger than him. Moreover, it looked like she had another fishy offering. All was forgiven. He grabbed the dropped rainbow trout, flew back to his pillow nest and started to devour it.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief. Knowing better than to be friendly while the Baron was eating, Dash got her own lunch. Fortunately, this time it was some takeout from Sakura's Far East Grill, so it was free of little green spots.
"Maybe this isn't as awesome an idea as I thought it was." For the first time, she felt doubt settle in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was time to swallow her pride and get some help from somepony who knew what they were doing, like Fluttershy? "Yeah, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"
*********************
At the center of town, Fluttershy blushed demurely as everypony in Ponyville milled around. She didn't like the attention, but she put up with it. After all, it wasn't every day that the Mayor herself gave you the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award!
The Mayor walked up on stage and everypony went silent. Speaking into the microphones, she declared, "Fillies and gentlecolts, we all know why we're here today. Today, we honor Ponyville's favorite daughter, Fluttershy, with the Most Awesome Pegasus Ever award!" Everything after the word "Fluttershy" was drowned out as the crowd stomped and shouted. One could almost see the waves of love and adoration flow over the stage.
The Mayor, once there was silence again, continued her speech. "We have been looking for the most awesome pegasus for years. At one point, we considered Rainbow Dash. However, after she asked Fluttershy for help doing something as simple as taking care of one pet, we realized she was hopeless. I mean, look at how good a job Fluttershy did with Baron Cuddles!"
Baron Cuddles, a very familiar brown falcon, swooped down from above and landed on Fluttershy's outstretched hoof. She didn't even need a falconer's glove, he was so well trained.
The Mayor continued. "After all, who can forget how much better life is with Baron Cuddles around? The babies saved from burning buildings, the hours of community service with the blind and, of course, the new youth center!"
Over the general applause, one could hear Scootaloo shout out, "Yeah, to think I used to look up to Rainbow Dash!"
The Mayor said, "So, in honor of this award, Fluttershy will be inducted into the Wonderbolts, get a huge state pension and be promoted to Princess!" The applause was deafening.
Meanwhile, in her cloud house, a very wall eyed blue pegasus wearing a dunce cap was coloring quietly with a friend. Rainbow Dash said, "Aw, coloring in the lines is hard."
Derpy rolled her eyes (oddly focused for a change). "Sheesh, Rainbow Dash, you're lame."
Rainbow Dash started to cry. "Sorry, I can't brain today. I have the dumb."
**********************
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Okay, it probably wouldn't be that bad." She thought for a moment. "Probably. But why do it if I don't have to?" Noticing that Baron Awesome had finished his fish, she slowly made her way over. "Hey Baron, don't mind me. We're bros, right? Yeah. You're all comfy womfy and happy, aren't you?"
The Baron eyed her suspiciously as she came closer. The blue thing was so confusing. Sometimes it attacked him and tried to grab him so that she could eat him. Then, sometimes, she'd bring him food. And he still had no idea how he went from flying into a tree to being in this weird... white... fluffy place. He also had no idea why he wasn't allowed to leave. The blue thing knew how to open the door, but he couldn't. There were gaps in the wall, but they were covered by some sort of invisible barrier that prevented his passing. He was trapped but good.
Rainbow Dash tentatively stretched out a hoof. This was it. The acid test. If she couldn't touch him when he was at his happiest, she was flying straight to Fluttershy's to beg for help, pride be hanged. "Hey boy, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're my bro. I just wanna pet you. Is that so wrong? I mean, you're a pet, so the idea is to pet you. If I can't pet you, I might as well get some lame-o fish. So I'm just gonna reach out... and..."
Baron Awesome looked at her freshly pedicured hoof, then into her eyes, and then back. He was feeling full and lazy. From his current position, he wouldn't be able to take off in time to get away. His only option was to bite her for all he was worth. He puffed up his feathers...
And he looked in her eyes again. Every set of eyes he had ever seen had the angry intensity of a bird of prey. His mother, other males he had fought for territory, the mate he'd raised a pair of chicks with, they all had their eyes set in one way. Those eyes all promised bloody revenge if he stepped out of line. The eyes of this blue thing did not. Her eyes were soft. Her body language was slow and careful. He was helpless. Yesterday, he'd been more helpless. He was still alive, and she kept giving him food. She wasn't his mother... was she trying to be his mother?
Both falcon and pegasus wrestled with instinct; the first to lash out, the second to withdraw her hoof. As hoof touched feather, both flinched, each expecting the worst from the other. Both had their worst fears dashed. Both let out breath they hadn't realized they were holding.
And so, for the next hour, pegasus stroked falcon, and the two enjoyed each other's company.
*************************
Rainbow Dash was walking on cloud nine. This was because the local weather patrol office was located there. She was also deliriously happy. "Lah lah lah, I got a pet and it's better than a dog so take that Applejack and also you too self doubt, lah lah lah, cause I didn't need help," she sang to herself as she trotted in to work.
She walked over to her locker and got out her work helmet. Today was scheduled for hail, so everypony had to have their safety gear. As she started sliding on her bright orange work vest, there came a voice from behind. It was a tan pegasus mare wearing the same gear as Rainbow Dash. "Uh, ma'am, I'm afraid the locker room is for employees only."
Rainbow Dash turned around. "What are you talking about, Lightning Bolt?"
Lightning Bolt blinked. "Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, of course it's me! What, you got gunk in your eyes?"
Lightning Bolt pointed at a mirror. "Um, did you lose a bet or something?"
The blue pegasus snorted and walked over to the mirror. "I did not lose... a..." Rainbow Dash fell silent as she took in exactly what Aloe and Lotus had done to her. Her mane and tail were perfectly straight and styled into a trendy haircut she'd occasionally mocked. Her face was accented by a tasteful amount of makeup. Her fur was radiant, and her hooves, normally chipped, were... perfect. In fact, perfect summed up everything she was seeing. Rainbow Dash had no idea she could look that good. She almost wished she actually had a date that night.
Lightning Bolt asked, "So, uh, what did happen then?"
Rainbow Dash, admiring herself (no wonder Rarity was always doing that, it was fun when you had this sort of reflection to look at!), said, "Um, actually, yeah. I lost a bet. That's it. Silly me."
Lightning Bolt laughed. "It must've been a doozy, 'cause you look really girly." Lightning Bolt checked the clock on the wall. "You're gonna have to tell me about that later. We're gonna be late if we don't hurry up." Lightning Bolt started trotting away. She paused when she saw that Rainbow Dash still hadn't moved from the mirror. "Uh, Dash, you coming?"
"Me and the mirror are gonna need another two minutes alone. Go without me."
*******************
End Part 3
To Be Continued

This isn't the final draft. Just Draft 2, so that anyone who reads it with suggestions doesn't see the same mistakes as others.

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Sweetie Belle managed a, "thank you," before Rarity started feeding her.

That line might be grammatically correct, but the comma before "thank you" is jarring.
The comment about Angel and the toilet paper, while funny, pulls me out of the story a little. Toilet paper means bathrooms, and bathrooms are neither medieval nor magical. It just doesn't seem to fit.

Other than that, great job! It's one of (if not the only) pony fanfic that I haven't busted up laughing (not in a good way) while reading. Looking forward to what comes next!

[darthbobcat]

Okay, so

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1) Replaced toilet paper with gourmet carrots. ... sides, how would a non unicorn pony even use toilet paper AND NOW I CHOOSE TO DROP THIS.
2) The reason that Sweetie Belle is so pliable is that it's based on my experience with my dad, who once got food poisoning. For a few days, he was just completely out of it.

Also, that "not busted up laughing" thing was a bit confusing. So you mean I'm not so bad it's good?

[Gaelbert]

Okay, so

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1) Replaced toilet paper with gourmet carrots. ... sides, how would a non unicorn pony even use toilet paper AND NOW I CHOOSE TO DROP THIS.
2) The reason that Sweetie Belle is so pliable is that it's based on my experience with my dad, who once got food poisoning. For a few days, he was just completely out of it.

Also, that "not busted up laughing" thing was a bit confusing. So you mean I'm not so bad it's good?

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Just normal good. I have a very hard time taking most fanfics seriously, the characters just seem unrealistic to me. However, they worked in yours. I can take it seriously. And it is seriously good.

[darthbobcat]

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Just normal good. I have a very hard time taking most fanfics seriously, the characters just seem unrealistic to me. However, they worked in yours. I can take it seriously. And it is seriously good.

Oh, good, I did interpret you correctly.