Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Me? I will pay 5k, like we agreed upon. When you get into this line of work, you need to be ready to make some sacrifices." Corpsecraft looks down at the mask. "Hmm," he thinks out loud. "Now that I think about it, I didn't really need to kill her after all." He shrugs. "Oh well."

[BizzaroStormy]

Annoyed by the argument, Beardo scratches on a piece of paper, folds it into an airplane and throws it right into Mort's eye. As mort opens it, he finds it to be a check for $40,000 and in the memo space it says: "Now shut the **** up." I don't know who you are and frankly I don't give 66.666666666% of a rats ass. Well, I want my catgirl now so I'm gonna go kill that chimp of a president. I seriously doubt anyone will care but whatever. LT, I'm gonna need another Zepplin.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Kill the Pr...? What the **** are you talking about? Were you not listening to a word he just said? We have to kidnap Conneticut." Corpsecraft then turns to Tataraus. "And I don't suppose you want to help us in any way?"

[BizzaroStormy]

You know what? **** it. I'll just kill spartaman. He's a ***** anyway. The first time I met him, I kicked his ass literally across town.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"THANK you, Beard-O, that's precisely what I had in mind." Corpsecraft turns to Ahz, saying, "Come, Ahzraelle, we are leaving." Corspsecraft turns to leave with his teammates in tow.

[Lord Tataraus]

"Your catgirl shall be waiting upon your completion of the mission. As for the capturing of Connecticut, I suggest holding the governor and state senate hostage...and I urge you to not just try and kill Spartaman outright, you are villians, he has the grace of being a good guy which means something will happen and he will win unless you approach very carefully." Tataraus warns the assembled before as the turn and attempt to find the exit, after finishing his little speech and affirming that each heard it, he reveals the doorway. Upon stepping through the group finds themselves on the side of a busy street on the outskirts of a city. A nearby sign welcomes them to the city of Hartford.

[BizzaroStormy]

Beardo sighs.Hell...I just hire somebody to bomb his house. Beadro begins walking down the road and stops, looking back to the group. Anyone know which way the governer's house is?

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Well, I guess we could ask-"

CRRRRRRRRRRRR SSHHHHHHHHH TSSSSSSSSSIT!!!

Suddenly, the video turns to snow. A boy with long curly hair steps in front of the camera, set to the background of the snow. "Hi. My name is Tommy Shelden, and I am the writer, artist, and inspiration for the character of Corpsecraft. As you may have read thus far, four new characters have been introduced, two of which were impulses, those being Morticalicus and the late Succubus. However, one of the new characters, Lord Tataraus, thinks he's all high and mighty and **** by sending us on a quest, kind of like a.... oh, what's the word.... dungeon master. As a cinematic RP, there is no DM, therefore, the story will continue as follows..."

The boy walks away, and the snow recedes to reveal the villains stepping through a portal into Hartford. "How the hell did he get me to come through that thing?" Corpsecraft asks. He immedietly hails a Taxi, saying, "Take me to Hartford Airport, please." He turns to his allies and says, "If you want to come with me to go back to my regular plan of just beating up Sparta-man, then hop in now." Corpsecraft stares at them expectantly.

[Fusecase]

Sorry Corpse, I'm getting job on a hit from the higher ups. He pulls out a small crystal that seems to be whispering incoherently. I have to take this one, and besides I serve a higher being than whoever Timon found. I'll be back when the plot thickens.

'Sides, could we all sit in a taxi/plane together for all that long anyway? Mort finishes his sentence by putting the crystal away and stepping through a portal of pure white which suddenly closes behind him.

Well babies, I'll be back soon, don't you panic.

[BizzaroStormy]

I was promised pay for doing a specific task. I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna get paid. Why the hell is sparta-man your arch enemy anyway? I don't seem to remember him doing anything to you other than stabbing you in the chest which you seem to have recovered quite nicely from.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft was not prepared for this last remark, and he steps out of the taxi and slowly glares at Beard-O. "Why is he my archenemy?" he asks. "Do you see this?" Corpsecraft points to the stitches on his face. "Or this?" He points to the stitches on his arm. "Or, in fact, all of these stitches? He did that to me. Logan is the reason I am as repugnant as I am, and for that he must pay. Now, if any of you are going to come with me back to Kokomo to fight Sparta-man, raise your hand now." Corpsecraft stares expectantly at his allies, only to find, to his dismay, that none of them are raising their hands. Corpsecraft sighs heavily and simply says, "Very well. Tataraus, what is our first task?"

[Lord Tataraus]

As in response to his query there is a flash of gold fire and a piece of gold paper floats down in front of Corpseraft. Sighing, he reaches out to grab the paper, it reads:

6 Simple Steps to Capture a State
1. Arrive in the approriate state Capital.
2. Enter the Capital Building during a State congress meeting.
3. Hold said congress hostage.
4. Kidnap the Governor of the state.
5. ???
6. Profit

[BizzaroStormy]

Ok then, I'll zombify the national guard and use them to hold the congress. Luckily I saw on C-Span that theres a meeting scheduled in an hour.Bearo takes out a PDA and uses the GPS function to find the national guard armory. Right Turn in 400 Meters the tiny machine exclaims as Beardo walks off. He stops and turns back to corpsecraft. Oh, and if being disfigured is why you're bring such a ****,why didnt you just tell me? I could have easily paid to have your brain transplanted into another body.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft follows behind Beard-O, with Ahz in tow, and whispers in his ear, "If you did that, it would ruin the plot."

[ahzreal]

"Corspecraaaaaft....." Ahz whines as they start to walk. "Are we there yet? I'm tired.. All this goth **** is heavy..." Ahz pouts when he realizes he's being ignored. "Why are we capturing a state anyway? How is that gonna help with the whole Sparta-man plot thing?" Ahz sighs heavily. "This is really confusing, you know..."

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Gahdamnit, Ahz, stuff it. We don't need your...." Corpsecraft stops, and then looks at Ahz. "Wait, Ahz, do us a favor and create a wave of spiders for us to travel on. It'll be much faster."

[ahzreal]

Ahz stops for a second. "Hmmmm." He shakes his head. "Now why didn't I think of that? I ginat rolling wave of spiders sliding through town would be VERY inconspicious. Yep. Surely wouldn't attract the attention of local law-enforcement types. Not at all." Ahz fixes Corpsecraft with a blank stare for several awkward seconds. "Aaaaaaaah........ To hell with it." Ahz makes a quick gesture, and thousands of spiders crawl out from under his hair. They begin to form a large puddle of spiders after mere seconds. Ahz smiles as the wave grows huge enough for all of the to stand on. He moves onto it, and the super-strong spiders, held together by each-other's will and effort, are not crushed.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Any more conspicuous then us, dressed as we are? We'll be fine, trust me." As the wave hurtles down the street, knocking over bystanders and cars alike, they rapidly approach the governor's mansion, but they are stopped by...

[BizzaroStormy]

A lengthly funeral precession. The cars in the line are extremely black and covered in decorative spikes and skulls. 4 huge monster trucks in the group bear large speakers blasting a metalized version of the funeral march. The women seen riding the cars can, at best, be described as sluts. The cars also carry various metal icons. Notables as Zakk Wylde, Ozzy Osborne, Mick Jagger, Slash, The devil himself, and chasing after them on a broken moped, Lars Ulrich. So much metal for a single person's death? Only a true god must have died. The group then sees it. An overly ornate hearse, all souped up, and desacrated. On top is a blackened wreath with a large portrait inside. The glare on it makes it impossible to tell who it is until the vehicle just passes you. Its...

[ahzreal]

Chuck Norris. Yes, it is sad that such a proud god of a man has died, but this damn funeral procession is taking up too much time out of the freaking story, which is already fairly far from what it once was. So, the damn funeral out of the way, the heroes, or rather villains, make their way to the capital building. They are grouped around outside, planning their attack.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Okay, here's our plan, you guys. First, I'm going to create a big distraction by shooting my gun off like a drunken hillbilly. With the guards gone, Ahz and Beard-O are going to sneak into the building, deactivate security, kidnap our target, and rescue me. Alright?.... you guys?" Corpsecraft looks over to see Ahz and Beard-O engaged in a heated battle with the security of the place. "...Damnit." Corpsecraft pulls out his gun and opens fire.

[ahzreal]

~Duck!~ One of Ahz's spiders scream at him telepathically. He ducks as quick as he can, dropping to the ground. A billy club swishes through the air above him. With a quick gesture, a cone of spiders blasts form Ahz's hand, covering the guard with poisen spiders.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft's bullets tear through the air, ripping into the bodies of multiple different security guards. Corpsecraft slowly steps forward as he fires, never letting his finger off the trigger, mowing down security guard after security guard, until he feels a loud WHAP on the back of his head. Corpsecraft's head falls to the ground, his body a bit stunned from the sudden impact. Nevertheless, he turns around, much to the dismay of the guard behind him, who is visually frightened and turns to run; but it's too late, and he is felled by Corpsecraft's tommy gun. Corpsecraft reaches down and places his head back on his shoulders, which reattaches with a sickening "SHHHHLOP", and he continues firing.

[ahzreal]

It was then, seeing Corpsecraft replace his head, that Ahz got an idea. "Spiders, grant Corpsecraft some extra resilience!" Several spiders then sward corpsecraft, spinning webs around the stitches in his body, making him harder to break apart. They then went back to defending their master.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft, realizing his new potential, laughs. "This is going to be fun." Corpsecraft steps forward, still firing, and kicks down the door of the mansion. The guards inside immedietly open fire on him, but seeing as his flesh is dead, and he is now unbreakable, he laughs and stomps forward, firing as he walks. Bullets whizz through the air, hitting walls, vases, chandeliers, and eventually, all the guards. "The inside is clear," Corpsecraft cries out. "You guys can come inside now." He says this just as the cops show up, sirens blazing. "This is the police!" the intercom cries. "Surrender now or we WILL use lethal force!"
"You guys may want to get inside, and quick," Corpsecraft says.

[ahzreal]

Ahz smiles. "No, don't worry about it, Corpsecraft.." He turned towards the squad cars. "I'll hold 'em off. You guys go and catch... whomever it was we were after." Ahz closes his eyes and concentrates, bringing all spiders and even a few more under his power. They swarm to him, covering his frail, gothy form in spiders. His form grows, expanding until he is now easily 12' tall. He looks, much like a humanoid, except with no legs, which is a wave of spiders. Long claws, composed of spider fangs, drip poisens onto the ground. (Think voidwalker... but spidery.) Ahz then stands atop the new constructed fiend... of spiders. "Go, ummmm....." Ahz stops to think a moment. "Ummm.. Guuuuuys....." He whines. "I can't think of a name for my new spider-demon thing..."

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Jeez, Ahz, how long have you been at this supervillainry? You're still so awkward." Corpsecraft and Beard-O dash into the mansion, and run over into the dining room, into the kitchen, out into the hall, then back into the dining room. "Oh, ****," Corpsecraft says. "This place is like a maze... we're never gonna find that guy."

[BizzaroStormy]

Then lets just destroy every room we come to, that way, when we come to a fork, we can know which way we've already been.

[ahzreal]

"Aractus...? Spider-tron?... Aaah.... **** it.. Petey will do... for now." Ahz strike a dramatic pose. "Go Petey, go forth and destroy!!!!" It was just then that a red dot appeared on Ahz's forehead. Just as the sniper pulled the trigger however, Ahz did that emo hair-flippy thing and dodged the bullet. Completely oblivious to the danger, but somehow also protected from it,(Mainly due to being a main character.) Ahz led his spider-golem to the crowed of squad cars, flipping them over and swarming them with spiders. A bit later, Ahz leapt down from Petey, leaving him to his own devices, for now.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft and Beard-O, in the meantime, continue to ravage the mansion, following Beard-O's old mantra of "if it exists, break it". Ahz catches up with them shortly after. Corpsecraft says, "Very nice job out there, Ahz, holding off the cops with the Spiderdemon. We're getting closer to the guv'nah, methinks." Corpsecraft and Ahz hear a cry from down the hall, "In here! I found someone!" Ahz and Corpsecraft rush in to find a middle-aged woman cowering in fear. Corpsecraft points his gun in her face. "Tell me where the governor is, and I'll spare your life."
The fear in her eyes spoke louder than words, and immedietly Corpsecraft knew who he was looking at. "M. Jodi Rell?" he asks. She nods hesitantly. "First woman governor of Conneticut?" She nods again. Corpsecraft forcefully grabs her by the arm and whispers into her ear, "Be a good girl and I won't hurt you... much. Show us to the roof."

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: If anyone reading this, by any chance, knows of, is related to, or is M. Jodi Rell, first woman governor of Conneticut, know this: I am a pathetic, Hoosier, teenaged, undersexed high schooler who would never in his life go on a crazy rampage and take the governor of a New England state hostage, at the commands of a powerful wizard. Piratejesus, however, would.