Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

[Anonymouswizard]

Play 4e bard.

Take only multiclassing feats, and as many power swaps a possible.

It is such a waste, especially with how useless the power swap feats are.

Let's see, using just the PHB and taking paragon multiclassing, we get:
Bob, dwarf bard 1 (just for more suboptimal)
1: initiate of faith (now, I think the multi class feats themselves are average for feats, you get skill training+a toned down class ability)
2: student of battle.
4: novice power (cleric)
6: novice power (warlord)
8: acolyte power (cleric)
10: adept power (cleriv)
11P: at-will power swap, 7th level encounter power
12: acolyte power (warlord)
12P: 10th level daily power
14: adept power (warlord)
16: student of the sword
18: novice power (fighter)
20: acolyte power (fighter)
20P: 19th level daily power
22: adept power (fighter)
24: soldier of the faith
26: novice power (paladin)
28: acolyte power (paladin)
30: adept power (paladin)

To sum the build up, we spent all our feats in order to, by level 20, have one attack power and three utility powers from our class.

[Arbane]

Al Bruno once mentioned a character for a superhero campaign named "Collateral Darren, who had the power to make hostages explode."

[Milodiah]

How is it we've gotten this far without a "rouge" pun?

[goto124]

Spoiler: Lame Puns ahead

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[Anonymouswizard]

How is it we've gotten this far without a "rouge" pun?

My Rouge's bedfinding and spank attack were very useful, actually.

[Magikeeper]

There was this one PbP where a player accidentally min-maxed his PC into an eternal coma before the game even began. (Cha 0)

[GuesssWho]

There's this twit I (try not to) play with that always makes the most painfully sexist stereotype of a pretty girl imaginable. I'm pretty sure he's never actually had a conversation with a female in his life.

[malkarnivore]

Any character concept in pathfinder that revolves around starting with a template.

Play a mermaid? Centaur? Dark elf?

Ok sure. I can handle your special snowflake crap because I like playing oddballs myself.

But whenever someone's idea revolvea around a half-dragon/half-fey/some other weird thing, half (insert non core race here) that purely follows some bizarre logic revolving around the "rule of cool" I get a headache.

Mostly because I started out as that idiot, not realizing how much that stuff can damage a campaign. Never mind agitating the other players who may have made more normal characters.

Acquiring things like that in the late game tends not to be as disruptive, but level 1 half dragons are almost as much of a pain in the rear as that one guy's justification about how "A kender paladin is totally a viable concept!"

Someone pass me the ibuprofen. I'm gonna need it.

[Anonymouswizard]

Play a mermaid? Centaur? Dark elf?

Ok sure. I can handle your special snowflake crap because I like playing oddballs myself.

What if I want to play a male succubus bard? (No, not incubus, male succubus)

But whenever someone's idea revolvea around a half-dragon/half-fey/some other weird thing, half (insert non core race here) that purely follows some bizarre logic revolving around the "rule of cool" I get a headache.

Mostly because I started out as that idiot, not realizing how much that stuff can damage a campaign. Never mind agitating the other players who may have made more normal characters.

This is why I've changed the reproduction of any race that produces halves. This is only well known regarding dragons, who can't mate with each other due to being spirits, and so must mate with humans to survive. But the 'mating with humans causes a supernatural offspri' happens with angels and demons as well, although they don't actually suffer from the same restriction as dragons.

Acquiring things like that in the late game tends not to be as disruptive, but level 1 half dragons are almost as much of a pain in the rear as that one guy's justification about how "A kender paladin is totally a viable concept!"

It is, you just need to work out who he 'borrowed' the powers from.

Someone pass me the ibuprofen. I'm gonna need it.

Second shelf, take the 'get some sense hammer' while you're at it.

[malkarnivore]

What if I want to play a male succubus bard? (No, not incubus, male succubus)

Touche.

However, I'm afraid the magic circle you were summoned in was abandoned, and you are in another dungeon, half a world away. You may want to consider something more "local."

This is why I've changed the reproduction of any race that produces halves. This is only well known regarding dragons, who can't mate with each other due to being spirits, and so must mate with humans to survive. But the 'mating with humans causes a supernatural offspri' happens with angels and demons as well, although they don't actually suffer from the same restriction as dragons.

I prefer to think of it less as "reproduction" and more "alchemical tampering."

It is, you just need to work out who he 'borrowed' the powers from.

You are a horrible person. and should feel horrible.

Second shelf, take the 'get some sense hammer' while you're at it.

I'm copacetic with the "Crowbar of Insight." But thanks for your suggestion.

[Wraith]

I've finally remembered the worse Character that I have ever set eyes upon, let alone, created.

deadEarth has you randomly roll EVERYTHING for your character - age, height, weight, they all get rolled on dice and fed into a table that tells you what your stats are and how many skills points and 'perks' (called 'Radiations' in-game) you get to roll for.

There's a d1000 table for perks, some of which are beneficial, though most of which are purely malevolent. A few are outright abusive.

The first character I ever rolled for the system had a Constitution score of 0 (SCORE, and NOT modifier) which meant that he had a 50% chance of dropping dead at the start of every in-game day, which was only averted by the fact that he had already died from radiation poisoning during the character creation process.

Oh, yes, this is a thing. The character creation for deadEarth is basically "create three characters and use whichever one survives". This guy died relatively late in the process, an unlucky %age roll against the number of Radiations he had picked up. It was almost as likely that he had rolled #020: Decapitation, which immediately deals 10d6 damage to your head.

Total number of hitpoints on a starting characters Head location: 4.

Then there's the guy with the negative Strength score, giving him a maximum encumbrance value of negative 50lbs. Or the one with Narcolepsy, that needed to roll 3+ on a d6 in order to be able to do anything "stressful" without instantly falling asleep. Like fight, for example. Or the guy with ADHD who has a 30% chance to automatically fail at ANYTHING he tries to do because he gets distracted half way through (which, given the wording, includes eating and performing ablutions).

So, y'know.... Lots of potential for terrible characters in that one.....

[GuesssWho]

My lord, that's almost FATAL levels of suck.

Is there any reason to play that game?

[JAL_1138]

At least when you die in character creation in Traveller, it's because of some kind of training accident or on-the-job danger.

[Anonymouswizard]

My lord, that's almost FATAL levels of suck.

Is there any reason to play that game?

Now be fair, in FATAL you have to check if your modifiers to height from bodily attractiveness have changed after you roll extremely large breasts. I'm also fairly certain there's a roll to die in infancy or get conscripted into the army at some point, or die from pillaging randy ogres.


For Eclipse Phase, the AGI social manipulator. Start off several hundred Rez Points behind your allies!

I do want to try using the Transhuman lifepath system to create a horrible random character, but I've got a feeling that it probably throws out something decent most of the time.

[Lord Raziere]

For Eclipse Phase, the AGI social manipulator. Start off several hundred Rez Points behind your allies!

I do want to try using the Transhuman lifepath system to create a horrible random character, but I've got a feeling that it probably throws out something decent most of the time.

How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

or how about one of the Lost? You have to have THREE mental disorders to get your psychic powers! on top of real world naivety AND being pursued by the authorities, now put them in a Griefer morph, not only is it bad for the Lost in question, you can't use your psychic powers while in a synth morph but you still got your three insanities, and your in a morph people are legally allowed to kill! now give them the Socialite faction, where they want to be the spotlight of the inner system elite! good luck making that make sense or surviving past one hour.

[Sith_Happens]

Now be fair, in FATAL you have to check if your modifiers to height from bodily attractiveness have changed after you roll extremely large breasts. I'm also fairly certain there's a roll to die in infancy or get conscripted into the army at some point, or die from pillaging randy ogres.

I don't remember about a roll to die in infancy, but you can roll a negative age.

[Anonymouswizard]

How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

Mind if I sig this? I just love the idea, and plan to use it as a NPC.

or how about one of the Lost? You have to have THREE mental disorders to get your psychic powers! on top of real world naivety AND being pursued by the authorities, now put them in a Griefer morph, not only is it bad for the Lost in question, you can't use your psychic powers while in a synth morph but you still got your three insanities, and your in a morph people are legally allowed to kill! now give them the Socialite faction, where they want to be the spotlight of the inner system elite! good luck making that make sense or surviving past one hour.

On the other hand, switch out the morph for a splicer (15 CP discount and I'm certain to be able to sleeve into something just as good. Also, my favourite starting morph) and this isn't a horrible character besides the three mental disorders (or two if you just want Psi-Chi). I might actually propose it as a PC if I ever get to play.

[GuesssWho]

Now be fair, in FATAL you have to check if your modifiers to height from bodily attractiveness have changed after you roll extremely large breasts. I'm also fairly certain there's a roll to die in infancy or get conscripted into the army at some point, or die from pillaging randy ogres.

Thus 'almost'

[Lord Raziere]

Mind if I sig this? I just love the idea, and plan to use it as a NPC.



On the other hand, switch out the morph for a splicer (15 CP discount and I'm certain to be able to sleeve into something just as good. Also, my favourite starting morph) and this isn't a horrible character besides the three mental disorders (or two if you just want Psi-Chi). I might actually propose it as a PC if I ever get to play.

1. Why not? Go ahead.

2. I recommend taking Megalomania then. what other kind of Lost would seek to be famous in hyper-elite circles? oh an Impulse Control Disorder, just to make it interesting.

[Anonymouswizard]

I don't remember about a roll to die in infancy, but you can roll a negative age.

But it's the most historically accurate game that I've re-*notices Ars Magica on bookshelf* it claims to be the most historically accurate game ever.

I remember rolling negative age, to be honest, I've wanted to get a group to do a single session of FATAL, just to see if it's that bad when playing. My suspicion is that it is.

1. Why not? Go ahead.

2. I recommend taking Megalomania then. what other kind of Lost would seek to be famous in hyper-elite circles? oh an Impulse Control Disorder, just to make it interesting.

1. Cool, thanks.

2. Why, I have a sheet to build this character.

[Lord Raziere]

oh, an even worse EP character concept:

your an AGI, in a Jar-Jar Binks themed Critter Morph in the Inner system. Your job is to play as Jar Jar Binks in a Star Wars themed amusement park for fans who all of course sleeve into Harrison Ford morphs then dress up as Han Solo who all claim they shot first, while their friend sleeves into a Chewbacca morph and does nothing but roar randomly even if they are perfectly capable of speaking, while others are in a Darth Vader synth morph and go around quoting his lines, but thats of course, not the worst part: the worst part is that since all Star Wars fans hate Jar Jar Binks, you do nothing but stand at a firing range all day and get shot at by Han Solo wannabes because AGI's don't have any rights, and even the other AGI's have it better because at least the C-3PO guy gets to live longer than a day even if all he is job is saying lines like "that shot is a probability of 149010 to one!" or something, and it just makes you so angry that you are a full on Anarchist/Sapient in secret and you are SO willing to blow up the jerks that made your job possible, to the point where you vow that you will someday come to them and say something like
"Yousa Blowin' meesa up for da LAST time Boss Nass!"
in that annoying Jar Jar voice just finally have some freaking catharsis once in your life and to make sure thats its the last thing they ever hear.

[Wraith]

My lord, that's almost FATAL levels of suck.

Is there any reason to play that game?

No one ever *plays* deadEarth. You just create characters, laugh at how horribly broken they are, and then deny ever having touched the thing with your bare hands.

Honestly, if you ever have a half hour spare and don't overly mind being ostracized from the role-playing community forever, give it a try. It's not one for the easily offended, mind..... And I've known some people throw their hands up and quit in despair when the Radition generation starts getting fractal on them.....

[Kid Jake]

He was an NPC, but nonetheless...

BEHOLD:

I came here to post Manslug (he was originally supposed to be McCrow's PC) but see that you've beat me to it.

[MesiDoomstalker]

This is a character I had the (un)pleasure of playing alongside.

He was a Drow, raised on the surface by some random ass human farmers. "Like Superman" is how it was described. He was totally TN, because Drow are inherently Neutral and its only the Underdark upbringing that make them CE. Or so his player insisted. He would lament and bemoan when people treated him like a Drow on the surface (because he's a Drow on the surface) and how he's cursed to burden the reputation of his Underdark ilk. He would go on for hours about how he wasn't like those other Drow you heard about. Of course, when it come to not acting like a Drow, he had a penchant for torturing people for no reason and believing himself superior to everyone ESPECIALLY other Drow. You know, non-Drow-like qualities.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Emperor-Worshipping Ork:
You are an Ork that worships the God Emperor of Mankind. You fight for the "'Peeryum", try to dress up as much like a "Spess Mahreen" as much as possible and fight "Kayoss" while shouting "For Da Emprah!" any humie that says you can't do this, you execute for "Hairasee"

Okay no, this happened several pages ago, but I want to see this happen for real. Bonus if he survives for more than thirty seconds.

[Sith_Happens]

I remember rolling negative age, to be honest, I've wanted to get a group to do a single session of FATAL, just to see if it's that bad when playing. My suspicion is that it is.

I know of exactly two attempts to actually play it, one of which was on this very forum, the other would probably get me mod-slapped for linking to but it's on Reddit if anyone wants to find it, and neither of which went remotely well.

Manslug (he was originally supposed to be McCrow's PC)

He was a Drow, raised on the surface by some random ass human farmers. "Like Superman" is how it was described. He was totally TN, because Drow are inherently Neutral and its only the Underdark upbringing that make them CE. Or so his player insisted. He would lament and bemoan when people treated him like a Drow on the surface (because he's a Drow on the surface) and how he's cursed to burden the reputation of his Underdark ilk. He would go on for hours about how he wasn't like those other Drow you heard about. Of course, when it come to not acting like a Drow, he had a penchant for torturing people for no reason and believing himself superior to everyone ESPECIALLY other Drow. You know, non-Drow-like qualities.

I could see this character working extremely well as long as the player was self-aware about it.

[Anonymouswizard]

I know of exactly two attempts to actually play it, one of which was on this very forum, the other would probably get me mod-slapped for linking to but it's on Reddit if anyone wants to find it, and neither of which went remotely well.

That's a great thread.

I may see if I can stat up some bad characters in fatal, the Drizzt clone is easy (although I dislike dual wielding), so what about Samuel Haight? I never got to the werewolf or vampire descriptions.

I do put it on my 'list of games for designers to read' though, because it helps avoid the really bad with your games. Although I'll admit I do overcomplicate things, with my current project using [attribute]d6+[skill] for basic rolls, I might just switch to [attribute or skill]d6.

[MesiDoomstalker]

I could see this character working extremely well as long as the player was self-aware about it.

She was not.

[SickBritKid]

A high-charisma Barbarian with Able Learner who insists on wearing fashionable, dandified outfits, fights with an elaborately gilded and arabesqued rapier, and spends all his skill points on things like social skills and obscure knowledges.

Recites French decadent poetry in combat except when raging, when he switches to Beowulf and the Mahabarata.

That has to be one of the most awesome-sounding character concepts I've ever heard.

It's almost as if you had a character who changed from a sophisticated Breton into a brutal Nord just by Raging.

Also aren't Thaneborn Barbarians in 4e technically Charisma-based Barbarians? Because if so...that build could actually work in that game!

[Friv]

I've finally remembered the worse Character that I have ever set eyes upon, let alone, created.

deadEarth has you randomly roll EVERYTHING for your character - age, height, weight, they all get rolled on dice and fed into a table that tells you what your stats are and how many skills points and 'perks' (called 'Radiations' in-game) you get to roll for.

There's a d1000 table for perks, some of which are beneficial, though most of which are purely malevolent. A few are outright abusive.

The first character I ever rolled for the system had a Constitution score of 0 (SCORE, and NOT modifier) which meant that he had a 50% chance of dropping dead at the start of every in-game day, which was only averted by the fact that he had already died from radiation poisoning during the character creation process.

Oh, yes, this is a thing. The character creation for deadEarth is basically "create three characters and use whichever one survives". This guy died relatively late in the process, an unlucky %age roll against the number of Radiations he had picked up. It was almost as likely that he had rolled #020: Decapitation, which immediately deals 10d6 damage to your head.

Total number of hitpoints on a starting characters Head location: 4.

Then there's the guy with the negative Strength score, giving him a maximum encumbrance value of negative 50lbs. Or the one with Narcolepsy, that needed to roll 3+ on a d6 in order to be able to do anything "stressful" without instantly falling asleep. Like fight, for example. Or the guy with ADHD who has a 30% chance to automatically fail at ANYTHING he tries to do because he gets distracted half way through (which, given the wording, includes eating and performing ablutions).

So, y'know.... Lots of potential for terrible characters in that one.....

Oh, man, deadEarth!

I remember someone rolled a character with Nine Lives - the first eight times they died, they would come back to life the next day. Then they rolled for an power I can't recall the name of, which caused them to explode in a massive and violent blast when they died, which seemed fitting.

Then they rolled the Blue Death, a terrible sickness that causes you to live a length of time based on your Constitution, let out a piercing psionic scream, and then die.

So, as they put it, "somewhere in the wastes, an old woman sits up on her bed, screams loudly, and explodes. The next day, in the crater, she wakes up, screams loudly, and then explodes. This happens for the next week and a half until she finally dies for real."