Results 1 to 30 of 209
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2019-03-27, 10:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2019
- Location
- Indiana, USA
- Gender
Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
As in Ma'am/Madam and Sir. What's an alternative if you don't know somebody's gender or they're non-binary?
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2019-03-27, 10:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Could always go the Andre the Giant route and use "boss." Thay favors more casual conversation, though.
Last edited by Peelee; 2019-03-27 at 10:35 AM.
Cuthalion's art is the prettiest art of all the art. Like my avatar.
Number of times Roland St. Jude has sworn revenge upon me: 2
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2019-03-27, 10:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Apparently, Mx., Misc. and Ind. have been around since 1970, just not in wide common use.
"It's the fate of all things under the sky,
to grow old and wither and die."
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2019-03-27, 11:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2017
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
That's fine when addressing them by name, but sir/madam is used to get someone's attention, and/or in place of their name. That said, from the same Wikipedia article"
Some honorifics act as complete replacements for a name, as "Sir" or "Ma'am", or "Your Honor".
Maybe go with "Your Honor"?
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2019-03-27, 11:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Comrade
[/kidding]
Grey WolfInterested in MitD? Join us in MitD's thread.There is a world of imagination
Deep in the corners of your mind
Where reality is an intruder
And myth and legend thrive
Ceterum autem censeo Hilgya malefica est
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2019-03-27, 11:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- South of Heaven
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2019-03-27, 11:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Gender
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2019-03-27, 01:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
There was a comic in an older version of CHAPMIONS where there was an elf (?) saying "Greetings infidel!" . . . it always made me laugh.
I vote to greet everyone with "Greetings infidel!"Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-03-27 at 01:02 PM.
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2019-03-27, 01:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
I'm partial to Peasant!, myself.
Or you could follow this guy's example:
To be fair, this is how I address everybody. I try not to treat someone differently just because they're nonbinary or what-have-you. People are people.Last edited by Red Fel; 2019-03-27 at 02:28 PM.
My headache medicine has a little "Ex" inscribed on the pill. It's not a brand name; it's an indicator that it works inside an Anti-Magic Field.
Blue text means sarcasm. Purple text means evil. White text is invisible.
My signature got too big for its britches. So now it's over here!
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2019-03-27, 02:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Sad place
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
My Red Hand of Doom Campaign Journal (Completed)
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2019-03-27, 10:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
- Location
- Avatar By Astral Seal!
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
If you KNOW they're non-binary, you probably know them and don't have to that formal. (If you do have a way of telling if someone's non-binary without knowing them well enough to at least have their name, by all means, share.)
If you just don't know their gender, use Ma'am or Sir as your best guess, and if you guess wrong, apologize.
If you deal with people who will explode if you get their gender wrong (I've worked customer service, but I've been lucky that the few times I've misaddressed someone, I just apologize and they're fine) try something that doesn't rely on gender? Just a basic "Excuse me, could I pass through here?" for instance.I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2019-03-27, 10:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
"Hey, you" works with anyone.
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2019-03-28, 12:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
There are also generic group formal salutation situations, like saying "ladies and gentlemen" as part of an intro on stage, where it would be nice to be able to be inclusive, particularly if you know darn good and well that there are some non-binary folks in the audience. This came up at a concert series I went to earlier this year, where the Toast was trying to find some inclusive way to introduce each musician and clearly the script she'd been using historically included something like "ladies and gentlemen, I present..." but at least one of the other performers (sitting in the front row of the audience and known to the Toast) and presumably a non-zero chunk of the rest of the audience were non-binary so it wasn't as inclusive of a phrase and she tried out various alternates throughout the weekend to see if she could find something that fit better.
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2019-03-28, 10:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
According to the U.S Military; Sir is gender neutral.
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2019-03-28, 10:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
This. You will likely only encounter people who wear a nametag with their pronouns on it in informal settings, so "Hey you" is perfectly adequate.
In customer service, you are most likely to mainly encounter people who will be offended at being called any terms other than those that correspond to their sex. If you encounter androgynous people whose sex is really impossible to tell, just guess and apologize if needed.
If you suspect someone might have a gender identity and fear they might not like you adressing them by sex-based pronouns ... I and my short-haired, trousers-wearing makeup-free female friends also tolerate being adressed as "Your Grace", "Your Honor" "Your Highness" or "Serenity", although we might chuckle a bit. We would, however, be very hurt if you used terms that by their very nature imply you aren't sure that we are female just because we don't perform femininity.
Reasonable people won't mind honest mistakes, but intentionally pretending that you cannot see that a woman who makes no attempt at hiding her femaleness is female is like telling her she looks like a man. It's an insult.
Calling a short-haired woman "sir" can be a honest mistake by an overworked customer service person, looking at her closely and deciding she is female but not quite feminine enough to be deserving of a "madam" will not go over so well.
Even calling the prime minister of a foreign country "hey you" would be better than that.
@Algeh: "Dear humans" seems to be rather popular recently, but it sounds a bit like the speaker is an alien or robot. Perhaps it is a sign of the robot apocalypse drawing near.Last edited by Themrys; 2019-03-28 at 10:35 AM.
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2019-03-28, 11:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
If they have specified what to use, use that.
If they haven't indicated what to use, use their job title if practical: Dean, Mayor, Senator, CEO, etc.
If a job title isn't available, consider Sir - it's somewhat gender neutral in modern parlance.
If Sir isn't appropriate, omit titles for everyone involved, but be extra polite/welcoming/formal/hospitable elsewhere.
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2019-03-28, 12:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
"Your Lordship".
Or is that masculine?
Go with "Highness", that should be all right. Or "Excellency".Last edited by Vinyadan; 2019-03-28 at 12:44 PM.
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
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2019-03-29, 12:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
"Hey, you!"
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2019-03-29, 05:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
On a more serious note, I think someone some time ago talked about a public transportation system that changed its greeting from "Good day, Ladies and Gentlemen" to "Hello, Everyone". It's not useful as a singular, though, and it sounds way, way more colloquial, at least to me.
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
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2019-03-29, 06:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- The Great White North
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
I heard gentlefolk used.
How do you keep a fool busy? Turn upside down for answer.
˙ɹǝʍsuɐ ɹoɟ uʍop ǝpısdn uɹnʇ ¿ʎsnq ןooɟ ɐ dǝǝʞ noʎ op ʍoɥ
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2019-03-29, 08:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Through process this morning as I caught up to the thread:
"Oh, maybe a portmanteau? Good morning Sir-madam... Sadam? Yeah, that's not going to work"
Grey WolfInterested in MitD? Join us in MitD's thread.There is a world of imagination
Deep in the corners of your mind
Where reality is an intruder
And myth and legend thrive
Ceterum autem censeo Hilgya malefica est
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2019-03-29, 08:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Have we considered just not saying anything?
Like, you can just say "Excuse me" and leave it at that. You don't have to call them sir or ma'am or anything, regardless of their preferred pronouns, cause 90% of the time if you're talking to someone they know you're talking to them so you don't have to constantly reiterate who they are to you.
"Hello" is just as polite as "hello sir", personally.
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2019-03-29, 08:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Which is all well and good until the corporation you work for sets guidelines for how to address customers that require you to use a honorific.
I suppose one could argue that it is then on the corporation to include in the guidelines how to deal with this scenario, but expecting corporations to lead on this is a bit too optimistic, especially if the agreed-upon solution doesn't exist in advance.
Grey WolfInterested in MitD? Join us in MitD's thread.There is a world of imagination
Deep in the corners of your mind
Where reality is an intruder
And myth and legend thrive
Ceterum autem censeo Hilgya malefica est
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2019-03-29, 09:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Cuthalion's art is the prettiest art of all the art. Like my avatar.
Number of times Roland St. Jude has sworn revenge upon me: 2
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2019-03-29, 09:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
That sounds like a species description. Perhaps it is because I only know -folk as ending from "lizardfolk" but still.
... actually, why not "Fair Folk"? That sounds like elves, but elves are often androgynous, so that fits, right?
@Grey Wolf: But you won't know that someone identifies as nonbinary unless you personally know them, anyway. Or if they complain about you calling them sir or madam. But in that case, they can just tell you what honorifics they would prefer.
... okay, I suppose if someone walks into the shop wearing a badge telling you what their ponouns are, you will have to resort to "Sadam". I share the suspicion that it is probably better than what the corporation would mandate, so ...
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2019-03-29, 10:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- The Great White North
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
I suppose you could call them gentry instead.
How do you keep a fool busy? Turn upside down for answer.
˙ɹǝʍsuɐ ɹoɟ uʍop ǝpısdn uɹnʇ ¿ʎsnq ןooɟ ɐ dǝǝʞ noʎ op ʍoɥ
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2019-03-29, 10:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2006
- Location
- Wandering in Harrekh
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
I have an easy go-to on the job: "Doctor." I work at a science journal, so everybody we communicate with is a PhD until proven otherwise.
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2019-03-29, 10:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
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2019-03-29, 01:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
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2019-03-29, 02:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Re: Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?
It's rather archaic, but I like the term 'gentle' and 'gentles'. It has no implications of gender while still sounding formal enough for certain uses, unlike, say, 'folks'.