Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice

[DigoDragon]

** Cannot assume "stiff" means "corpse".

I meant to type "Stuff", but all my typos tend to be correctly spelled words so I don't catch them easily. XD

[geonova]

*May no longer track other players' perversity points
**Especially if my oly use for the information is to have the other players attempt to trick me into telling them
***Not telling the other players i'm doing it does not give me the right to track them
****No, not even then

[Rysto]

* It is not possible to die during D&D 5e character creation.
** Not even if the DM explicitly warned us that this campaign would have a high body count.

[goto124]

** You do not want to know what perversity points are.

[Rater202]

*I may not play my characters as an anti-stereotype, such as agoraphobic pyromaniac elf or a dwarf who is a complete teetotaler.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am human, not two halflings in a trenchcoat.

* May not max-min my characters.
** Must be able to contribute to the party.

[Socratov]

* Cannot play as Bastion.
** In a DnD game.
*** My character cannot be referred to as 'a sentient Ballista'.

****Sargeant Detritus is Right out!

[DigoDragon]

* The bard is banned from taking Performance (Air horn).

[Socratov]

* The bard is banned from taking Performance (Air horn).

**This includes Performance (Vuvuzela)

[Wookieetank]

**This includes Performance (Vuvuzela)

***Performance (Kazoo) is questionable

[Anonymouswizard]

***Performance (Kazoo) is questionable

**** There does not need to be a seperate party member with Performance (Swanee Whistle).

[Wookieetank]

*In Star Wars, not allowed to play an Ewok Bard specializing in Perform (Stormtrooper Helmet)

[Draconi Redfir]

*I may not murder the barkeep and attempt to take his place with a headband of disguise for two days.
**Especially when we know for a fact that the captain of the guard is his brother and they are very close.
***And especially especially when we have done little to no research on his home life and don't know about his wife who calls the cops if he hasn't checked in every eight hours or so.

[Belac93]

*Puppies are not good-aligned improvised weapons, and treating them as such is wrong.
**While not quite as bad, doing the same for seagulls as evil-aligned is still bad.

*If my wizard can cast every spell they have, including and not including the prepared ones, at least once a day, something has gone horribly right.

[Madbox]

*Puppies are not good-aligned improvised weapons, and treating them as such is wrong.
**While not quite as bad, doing the same for seagulls as evil-aligned is still bad.

***Treating geese as chaotic evil improvised weapons, however, is fine.

[GorinichSerpant]

*Puppies are not good-aligned improvised weapons, and treating them as such is wrong.

**Of course not, on the principle of corrupting influence, using puppies is an evil-aligned weapon.

[DigoDragon]

***Treating geese as chaotic evil improvised weapons, however, is fine.

Such weapons inherently have the 'Vicious' quality.

[Wookieetank]

Such weapons inherently have the 'Vicious' quality.

And come with an Induce Fear enchantment.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

And come with an Induce Fear enchantment.

They may also be used to simulate a Glyph of Warding spell.

[Madbox]

They may also be used to simulate a Glyph of Warding spell.

Maybe more of a chaotic Mordekainan's Faithful Hound. Faithless Hound?

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not request a roll on the random prostitute table just to just the result to deduce where in the city I am.

[gmoyes]

*The Warlock shouldn't cast fly in the barbarian known for running head on into battle for him to ferry the Halfling monk and the druid shapeshifted into a rat from the temple to the mage's guild to avoid the zombie infested streets.
**The barbarian shouldn't fly through the skies at top speed when ferrying passengers.
***The guild apprentice shouldn't have told us about the invisible wall after the barbarian flew into it head first at top speed.
****He especially shouldn't have said "Watch out for that *THUD* wall..."
*****The druid shouldn't have been riding in the barbarian's pants pocket to avoid being crushed between the barbarian and the wall.
******When the druid explodes out the barbarian's pocket due to damage forcing him out of his rat form, the monk shouldn't try to catch him.
*******Especially when the druid weighs three times he does.
********Especially when he's holding onto the barbarian by his javelin quiver.
*********When the belt of the quiver snaps due to the weight causing both of them to fall, three of the five javelins shouldn't impale the druid once he landed on the ground causing him to be knocked out.
**********Especially when there are about eight zombies waiting for him on the ground.
***********The warlock really shouldn't be watching this from the temple tower and facepalming.
************When slow falling to land next to the druid, the monk shouldn't stop to fight the zombies.
*************The barbarian shouldn't choose who to save based on the fact that one destroyed his pants while the other caused him to lose his javelins.
**************The GM really shouldn't be critting this much.
***************As humourous as this is, this situation shouldn't be worth a PC's life and a different PC's eye as well as putting the blame on the warlock whose idea this was.
****************A couple of days worth of healing shouldn't have been spent in less than a minute.
*****************Over half an hour of game time shouldn't have been spent discussing the few seconds from the barbarian hitting the wall to the druid being KOed on the ground.
******************Especially when I'm playing the warlock who is too far out of range to contribute to any of this.
*******************This one event still isn't as bad as when the entire party was knocked out and one PC dead due to smoke inhalation.

[DigoDragon]

* If you left a cake in the fridge and forgot about it for 170 years, then Don't Open the Fridge!
** No longer allowed to gargle hydrogen peroxide to kill the taste of 170-year old stale cake.
*** That's no longer cake at this point. It's an ecosystem.
**** Getting baked off the spores of a fridge ecosystem is not a miracle of science.
***** Especially bad when you're the team medic and the only one who could remedy the poison.
****** I'm no longer allowed to take the advice of the talking poster to bake a new cake.

[RickAllison]

Edge of the Empire

*If I give the ancient McGuffin to the Big Bad, I should at least attempt to defend myself when the party gives me a trial.
**When faced with the paradox of being a champion of freedom while treating droids as slaves by another PC, I may not suddenly become insane and start hitting myself in the head while declaring droids to be our overlords.
***(a) I may not blow up the party's ship when I am about to introduce myself to them
***(b) I may not program the droid PC to be my slave
***(c) I may not implant a bomb into the droid PC
***(d) I may not try to blow up the allies who are funding us and are the only major group who knows us that doesn't want us dead
**** I may play a prostitute, but I may not specialize in vorarephilia. I have disturbed the other players and especially the GM.

Four characters of one player. The traitor was executed, the prostitute was abandoned on Correllia, the insane person was thrown in a Correllian asylum, but the demolitionist learned to use his bombs for good, or at least the party's benefit. For my characters:

*I may upload my droid's mind into an astromech body
** Okay, I guess you can take the Magnaguard body
*** Yes, you may establish a droid factory
**** Yes, you can make custom droids
***** Fine, I guess you can make a vehicle-sized body. Yes, in the shape of a liger.
****** No. You may not give him enough armor that he can take on Star Destroyers.
******* Fine. You ate the Emperor. Happy?

It was a crazy campaign.

[Belac93]

*Not allowed to flirt with/hit on other players.
**My PC is not allowed to flirt with/hit on other characters.
***I am not allowed to flirt with/hit on PCs.
****My PCs are not allowed to flirt with/hit on players.
*****If I cause anyone to begin making out with a character sheet (or do it myself), I will be tossed out the second-floor window

[Anonymouswizard]

*Not allowed to flirt with/hit on other players.
**My PC is not allowed to flirt with/hit on other characters.
***I am not allowed to flirt with/hit on PCs.
****My PCs are not allowed to flirt with/hit on players.
*****If I cause anyone to begin making out with a character sheet (or do it myself), I will be tossed out the second-floor window

****** Not allowed to flirt with the GM.
******* Especially if their SO is in the group.

[braveheart]

*Not allowed to make 4 dimensional crates to store cargo because i'm obsessed with the number 4
**the Crates do not make the boarding party disoriented because they can't comprehend extra euclidean geometry

[Anonymouswizard]

* Cannot summon a n-dimensional being just to force Cthulhu to make a SAN check.

* There are no Gungan Jedi. Full. Stop.

* I cannot run a space game not based on Star Wars.
** I must offer some kind of psionics or space magic.
*** Cannot include the difficulties inherent in a spaceship.

[Lord Raziere]

* There are no Kender Paladins
** Cannot play a Kender Paladin to try and parody the "evil race outcast seeking redemption" concept
*** May not angst over successfully resisting the temptation to "borrow" things
**** May not acquire two scimitars solely to hold them while I angst over all the other Kender being annoying insane twits and whether or not I'm all alone in being the exception, then sheathe them in combat and use my actual weapon
***** can't become better comic relief than actual comic relief by doing this.

[Madbox]

*Just because I am capable of using a set of charts and graphs to accurately represent a space with more than three dimensions, does not mean that I should run an adventure involving a 4- or 5- dimensional temple to an abomination from beyond the stars. It needlessly confuses people.



Seriously, though, not that tricky to chart, although confusing to keep track of. It's like how you can use three 2d grids to represent a 3d space, with one representing the x-y plane, one for the y-z plane, and one for the x-z plane. You just need to now add in graphs for a w-x, w-y, and w-z plane. Easiest way to keep track of it mentally is to think of each point on the w-axis as being a cube, parallel to the cubes of the other w-axis points. Like how a 3d grid can be thought of a bunch of parallel 2d planes.