Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

[LordCdrMilitant]

Titus [Commissar]: I need someplace private that's not far from the Armory. Uh, is there a bathroom nearby?
Me [GM]: Yeah. It's a fleet base space station, there's bathrooms all over the place.
Titus: Then I duck into the bathroom, lock the stall, and start taking apart the shotgun to find what's inside it.
...several moments, a 1, and a uncontrolled weapons discharge later...
Me: Your guardsmen standing guard outside are startled when the report echoes out of the bathroom.
Titus: *exits bathroom* "Let's just say the mess deck has some explaining to do."

Armessar [Ranger]: I'm going to hide in the toilet so I can see who comes in looking for the shell casing.
Other Player: Where are you hiding, in the toilet tank?
Yet Another Player: The Eldar have a saying, that sounds very fancy and insightful in their language, but just translates to: "If I fits, I sits."

Me: ...and the techpriest leaves the bathroom, and doesn't wash his hands.
Other Player: He's the worst kind of Heretic!
Armessar: I follow him out.
Other Player: Do you wash your hands?
Armessar: No.
Yet Another Player: The mon-keigh water is just as filthy as the mon-keigh bathroom?