Songbird race! (And other stuff.)

[Metastachydium]

You know I love monsters with endonyms and exonyms. Especially when the exonym betrays a deep misunderstanding of the nature of the monster, like "pillow golem" does.

I say nothing shouts verisimilitude louder than "people are clueless"!

I've once seen a homebrew of a "plushie golem". Basically a Tiny golem in the shape of a plushie that could protect its assigned child as a Shield Guardian does.

I'm not much of a Construct person myself, but that's just too darned CUTE. I approve!

I envision a world where every child has a zhaak as a pillow, a living spell of elation and lullaby as its sheets, a golem as a plushie and a grey render as their imaginary friend. Sadly, the pillow would attack the plushie, the sheets would try to eat the child, and the imaginary friend would tear it apart to teach it a lesson.

Ah, instant childhood traumas for everyone! Sounds like as good an explanation for the prevalence of jaded murderhoboes as any. I approve AGAIN!

Is there supposed to be a limit on how many times it can use Foehammer ? Or does it only work on Constructs maybe? Otherwise, since it only has a single attack per round, there is no reason for it to not use Foehammer every time, and you should probably include it in the Damage line (2d8+9 and Foehammer, x3).

Unless I've been fundamentally misunderstanding how Crusaders work all along, as the only maneuver of the thing, it should just kinda respawn each round. So… Good thinking, thanks!

♣

And while I'm here, I might as well throw in a brand new double update. We'll start with a viral vector, probably brought to you by the same people who thought Owlbears are a good idea, the

Hippotaur
An unlikely being, the hippotaur appears to be a mismatched cross between horse and cattle, with the body, tail and hooves of the former and the head of the latter. Some call them jumarts; others are adamant that jumarts are a different beast, a true hybrid that occurs naturally. Their origin unclear, they are most common in warm lands adjoining regions infested with owlbears.

Size/Type: Large Animal
Hit Dice: 4d8+8 (34 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 50 feet (10 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +3 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+10
Attack: Gore +5 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack: Gore +5 melee (1d8+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Disease
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 10, Cha 7
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +3
Feats: Great Fortitude, Power Attack
Environment: Warm hills
Organization: Solitary or herd (4–17)
Challenge Rating: 2
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 5–7 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Hippotaurs are oddly aggressive, as though bred for it. They charge headlong onto anything large enough to threaten them and fight to the death.

Disease (Ex)
Hippotaurs are among the very few known intermediary host of a minuscule parasite known as the marrow worm. Any hippotaur meat ingested has a 70% chance of containing marrow worm eggs that are very difficult to destroy simply through the application of heat while preparing a meal. Eggs mature in 1d4 days once in a suitable host, which then must succeed on a DC 14 save each day or take 1d4 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage from marrow rot.

♣

Also, I swear this will be my last kick into whatevertaurs for a while (so don't expect taurocentaurotaurs (a bovine Centaur with the head of a bull!!) to pop up). Still, before we'd get back to periodic Elementals (I have one or two that should be ready to launch come next week), have another weird dinosaur thing:

Sacred Lizard
Rarely more than 6 feet long and 4 feet tall, sacred lizards are cumbersome beings carrying their bulky body, its back domed and covered in a pattern of sturdy scutes on four short legs. Their small, rotund head sits on a similarly short neck. Their tail is somewhat longer, but poorly armoured. Most are a greenish white or light olive in colour.

Natives of Arcadia, sacred lizards see employ, first and foremost, as mediators and messengers dispatched to the mortal realms. Slow, steadfast and of an unending calm, they mostly live to talk and listen, leading a life of contemplation and ambulatory study when burdened with no task.

Sacred lizards seem to have at least a rudimentary understanding of all but secret languages and tend to speak at least three, usually including Celestial and Common.

Size/Type: Medium Magical Beast [Extraplanar]
Hit Dice: 5d10+15 (42 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 feet (4 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (-1 Dex, +12 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 21
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+7
Attack: Tail slap +2 melee (1d4+1^*)
Full Attack: Tail slap +2 melee (1d4+1^*)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Vengeful curse
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., sanctuary
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 9, Con 16, Int 15, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills: Diplomacy +10, Intimidate +5, Knowledge (local, the planes, religion) +6, Listen +7, Sense Motive +10
Feats: Iron Will, Negotiator
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 2
Alignment: Always lawful neutral
Advancement: 6–10 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Sacred lizards enjoy a good, hearty dispute and even a heated debate once in a while; more direct violence they are far less equipped for. At most, they will attempt the odd bull rush or overrun, but otherwise they refrain themselves to dispensing dire warnings, promising vaguely hinted at, but terrible consequences to those that would shed their blood. (^*A sacred lizard does not normally use its tail to attack. Its tail slap is treated as a secondary attack and adds only half the sacred lizard’s Strength bonus to damage.)

Sanctuary (Su)
A sacred lizard is constantly warded by an effect identical to that of a sanctuary spell with a save DC equal to 15. A successful save overcomes the effect for 24 hours. While this effect can be dispelled as normal, the sacred lizard can reactivate it once per round as a free action. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Vengeful Curse (Su)
Slaying a sacred lizard is a great sin, for it is an affront to its very masters. Any who wound a sacred lizard during a given encounter the creature perishes in must succeed on a DC 15 Will save or be cursed as though affected by a bestow curse spell. The foe that deals the killing blow receives no save. Only miracle, respectively break enchantment or remove curse cast by a divine spellcaster can undo this effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Skills
Sacred lizards recieve a +2 tacial bonus on Diplomacy and Sense Motive checks.