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LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the thread for the discussion, celebration and support of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Asexual, Allied, and Queer individuals, and anyone else who fits into the alphabet soup somewhere!
Here's the in-thread rules!
- No adult sexual content. *It's against site rules.
- Let's keep things as A-political as possible.
- Similarly, try to leave religion out of it.
- NO discussing if LGBTAetc. is "good" or "right" for the above reasons, mostly.
- Everyone is welcome. *L, G, B,T, A, Q, A, N, V, P, R, Q, Ω, ♅, everyone. *As long as they behave themselves.
If you have a question or two about LGBTA+, you can ask it here! You can ask for advice and support in here.
In addition, many members are willing to give private advice one on one, either through email or PM. *The best ways to do this are initiating the PM, or asking for PM help in thread.
Previous threads, because archives are important.
And the community's previously posted list of Thousand&Wordster Dictionary of Commonly Used LGBTAitP Words and Phrases, originally scribed by AThousandWords (now Qaera) and added to thereafter.
Spoiler
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Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.
LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender
LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies
QUILTBAG:
Spoiler
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Q - Queer and Questioning*
U - Unidentified*
I - Intersex*
L - Lesbian*
T - Transgender, Transexual*
B - Bisexual*
A - Asexual*
G - Gay, Genderqueer
Allies: Straight people that support equality for sexuality and gender minorities.
MtF: Male-to-Female: A woman born with male nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans woman)
FtM: Female-to-Male: A man born with female nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans man)
GQ: Genderqueer.*
CS: Cis-sexual: sex and gender match (a male with male nibblies, a female with female nibblies.
TS: Transsexual: Sex and gender disparity.
HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)
SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Plastic surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Not very common.
Man: A cisman or transman. Male.
Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.*
Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.*
Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between male and female.
Agendered: Someone who feels neither male nor female.
Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.
Masculine: Something generally associated with men.*
Feminine: Something generally associated with women.
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
Gay: A man who is attracted to men.
Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.
Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both male and female people.
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.
Demisexual: A person who is only sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.
Androsexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the male-bodied form.
Gynosexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the female-bodied form
Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
Radosexual: A person who is only attracted to rad people.
Pomosexual: A person who avoids SO labels.*
Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to. (SO)
Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)
Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)
Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Thanks for asking me to make the thread, SiuiS. I don't know why, but that acknowledgement that I'm part of the community, not just a hanger-on, really touched me :smallredface:
I has a happy.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
I have no idea how dorms work, so this may be useless, but do you have like, a dorm manager you could speak to?
Well, there's the RA; but I'm not sure if they're supposed to deal with stuff like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
Well, "Lena" is a reasonably straightforward name, that could in theory be applied to a boy, especially if you take into account other cultures and languages etc. If it was something like "Susan" I wouldn't be recommending this, but there's the option of just going for it, introduce yourself as "Lena" and if anyone asks, just say "That's just what people call me." and if anyone gives trouble, report them. But I think most people just accept names, even slightly unusual ones.
Yeah, but I don't want it to be "a name that can be applied to a boy" though. Like, not "this is a boy named Lena", but "this is a girl named Lena".
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
ni is a place for pushing back borders and finding (or displaying) who you really are. If you have the confidence, I'd definitely say try going in girlmode.
Unless you're in all-male halls, of course. That might be a bit awkward.
My dorm is mixed. I actually don't even think single-gender dorms are a thing here. I don't know of any at least. I don't really have clothes to go in girl-mode though... I've been meaning to order some stuff now that I'm back at dorms since I'm not sure if I'm confident enough to go to stores yet but the mailbox key is missing. >.> (Have to ask the RA about that when they pop by later this week.)
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Also yay, happy Helio!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
New thread looks great! Nice work Helio!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well, I imagine that we're pretty much unanimous in our fondness for you. :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Happy Helio is good. We like a happy Helio around here.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
turkishproverb
Ah, new thread smell.
Do I really need to remind people not to do this?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Astrella. That's a bit surprising to me. I didn't know of any place Mixed dorms were common.
Learn something new every day.:smallsmile:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
In my experience, in these kinds of cases, there are co-ed dorms but the individual rooms are still separated by gender. It's pretty common, at least in U.S. colleges (though I'm not sure it's the same where Astrelia is)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Yesh, mixed gender is the standard here. The concept of roommates is still something that odd to me, cause that is completely not a thing here. (unless you're living together in an actual appartment I guess.)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
In NC, USA here, and the freshman dorms were divided in halls of each gender. For latter year areas the dorm were still single gender, unless co-ed was requested, but halls were mixed.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
At UC Santa Cruz the dorms are co-ed, but there are women only floors available on request. Interestingly, there are no single gender floors for men, the justification given being that there had never been enough requests to justify it. :smallmad:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My alma mater had a women-only floor, but during my senior year they went to gender-neutral housing. As in a man and woman can room together (though both have to agree to it ahead of time). We had enough students whose legal gender didn't match their presented gender that the administration finally gave in. Most of the other colleges in Oregon already had gender-neutral housing.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Thanks for asking me to make the thread, SiuiS. I don't know why, but that acknowledgement that I'm part of the community, not just a hanger-on, really touched me :smallredface:
I has a happy.
*Belated hugs~* :smallbiggrin:
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
Yeah, but I don't want it to be "a name that can be applied to a boy" though. Like, not "this is a boy named Lena", but "this is a girl named Lena".
My dorm is mixed. I actually don't even think single-gender dorms are a thing here. I don't know of any at least. I don't really have clothes to go in girl-mode though... I've been meaning to order some stuff now that I'm back at dorms since I'm not sure if I'm confident enough to go to stores yet but the mailbox key is missing. >.> (Have to ask the RA about that when they pop by later this week.)
I don't have any advice, but *hugs!*
~Bianca
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Rawhide
Do I really need to remind people not to do this?
But but but.. It's like a new book. :smallbiggrin:
*hugs for Helio and Astrella* :smallsmile:
Might be getting back with my ex that I mentioned a few pages ago, 'cause I also really never gave him much of a chance.. :smallsmile:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing :smalleek:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing :smalleek:
Just ignore everyone else, probably the best thing to do. If it's what you want to do, go for it! :smallsmile:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Thanks for asking me to make the thread, SiuiS. I don't know why, but that acknowledgement that I'm part of the community, not just a hanger-on, really touched me :smallredface:
I has a happy.
You are definitely part of this community! *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Yeah, but I don't want it to be "a name that can be applied to a boy" though. Like, not "this is a boy named Lena", but "this is a girl named Lena".
Oh, of course, sweetie, I didn't mean it like you should present as a boy named Lena. I thought you were worried about being tagged as a boy and I was trying to reassure you that even if someone mistook you for a boy, it's not like "Lena" would be an impossible name for a boy, so they'd likely just trip on in their mistake without making a big deal of it. ... My point, which I seem to be struggling to make, is that I think you should go for what makes you happy. And the RA as I understand them is totally supposed to back you up, and if they don't, go to the ... chief RA? Or student services.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
At UC Santa Cruz the dorms are co-ed, but there are women only floors available on request. Interestingly, there are no single gender floors for men, the justification given being that there had never been enough requests to justify it. :smallmad:
That's weird and kind of dumb. I suppose there are a lot more women who feel unsafe in the presence of men than vice versa, and unfortunately, it's way easier to make a "No Men" space than a "No Rapists/Abusers" space. I have my fingers crossed for that second one though. Someday we'll work it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing :smalleek:
I ... think pole-dancing is kind of stupid and problematic, actually, but that doesn't stop me from thinking you should go for it, if you want to. Go Helio!
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Originally Posted by
SiuiS
what? But... How?!?
I go from dry hair to slightly matted, soggy hair in twenty minutes o___o[
:smalltongue: I dunno, I genuinely don't know how people can spend that long in the shower. I mean, you take your clothes off, step into the shower, then wet and wash your body as the water is warming (I have sort-of-warm showers, never hot showers), then rinse it off as you wet your hair, then shampoo the roots, rinse, condition the tips, rinse, step out, towel off quickly cause you're naked and wet, then put new clothes on and comb through your hair. That all only takes ten minutes for me, up to fifteen if it's cold or I'm sick or tense and I decide to have a slightly-warmer shower and stand under the water for a minute to relax, but that takes effect almost immediately.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
I ... think pole-dancing is kind of stupid and problematic, actually, but that doesn't stop me from thinking you should go for it, if you want to. Go Helio!
Why? Divorced from the stripping connotations, it's simply a rather effective and fun form of exercise. It's gymnastics with a vertical bar instead of horizontal bars - what's the problem with that?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
Well, there's the RA; but I'm not sure if they're supposed to deal with stuff like this.
The RA is supposed to make sure that everyone is following the rules, right? Well, I'm pretty sure that "no harassment based on gender" is one of the school's rules. If it's not, I'm not sure that that's a school I'd want to go to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Yeah, but I don't want it to be "a name that can be applied to a boy" though. Like, not "this is a boy named Lena", but "this is a girl named Lena".
*hugs* I think you should go for it! I kow it's scary, but if you always take the easy road, you'll never get where you want to go. Our path in life runs through a thick, dark, scary forest, but if you never brave that road, you'll never emerge into the sunlight on the other side, right?
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Originally Posted by
Coidzor
Well, I imagine that we're pretty much unanimous in our fondness for you. :smallwink:
^ This! Very much this! :smallbiggrin:
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing :smalleek:
I think you should go for it! I've always wanted to learn something like that, but I'm always too afraid that I'll look stupid. Go! Allow us to live vicariously throguh your successes!
...And, of course, to make yourself happy. That's the most important thing!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My school had gender separted floors. Guys on one side, gals on the other, with a large common area room between the two sides.
As I was going they ended up taking these dayrooms and converting them into regular rooms for five or six guys to share.
Now that I think back on it, is it kinda odd that I would end up in a room somewhere between the two genders, given my tendency to go back and forth on my mood? Or is it just me?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Why? Divorced from the stripping connotations, it's simply a rather effective and fun form of exercise. It's gymnastics with a vertical bar instead of horizontal bars - what's the problem with that?
You go girl! It's always fun trying out a new form of exercise! =)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My uni's residential colleges were (I think) all one-person-per-room, and were all mixed except for one which was female-only. Mine was mixed all the way through, with shared bathrooms an' all. I'm not sure about the details of the others.
Then there was a "residential village", which was sort of somewhere between colleges and living in town: uni property, with administration and caretakers etc, shared with others, and self-catered. The units were 4, 8 or 12 occupant, and were any mix of sexes although you could often organise to have the specific people you want in them.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing :smalleek:
Go for it so I can live vicariously through you!! My big-butt would bent the pole in half :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Why? Divorced from the stripping connotations, it's simply a rather effective and fun form of exercise. It's gymnastics with a vertical bar instead of horizontal bars - what's the problem with that?
Yes, well, divorced from the chipmunks Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 might have been a good movie. But it wasn't. :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Coidzor
And then you spend time around people with minor speech impediments and various accents and find that there's a whole plethora of ways that words will sound the same and then sound different from the same person.
My female voice sounds so weird. I lose my accent, and end up sounding... I've been compared with a breathy streamer for LoL, I got called irish by one odd person, and generally am 'somewhere in the atlantic.' Some words sound SO weird that I stop for several seconds after saying them going 'Is that how I pronounce that word?'
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Coidzor
Well, I imagine that we're pretty much unanimous in our fondness for you. :smallwink:
I've been trying to pounce Helio for threads. Won't let me. :smallfrown::smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
My female voice sounds so weird. I lose my accent, and end up sounding... I've been compared with a breathy streamer for LoL, I got called irish by one odd person, and generally am 'somewhere in the atlantic.' Some words sound SO weird that I stop for several seconds after saying them going 'Is that how I pronounce that word?'
:smallfrown: I wish I knew what I really sound like. I've been trying for almost a year, and I'm still not even close.
Of course, it's usually just little things like singing in the car, but still. I'd expect some progress! That and not knowing my name is really dragging me down...
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Why? Divorced from the stripping connotations, it's simply a rather effective and fun form of exercise. It's gymnastics with a vertical bar instead of horizontal bars - what's the problem with that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Yes, well, divorced from the chipmunks Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 might have been a good movie. But it wasn't. :smalltongue:
I would have gone with divorced from the harrowing series of events that push back the wedding, the Five-Year Engagement would have been an adorable and hilarious romcom instead of a nihilistic primer for disappointment and crushing despair.
I don't have a problem with you, a grown up at college, going to do some sideways gymnastics (okay, that sounds a LOT more like an innuendo than I thought it would!). And in a different world, I would probably love pole-dancing, and there would be an Olympic event of it, and it would be awesome and do what it can do - show off strength and skill - without any problematic stuff. But unfortunately, we live in this world, where pole-dancing is a thing marketed to women (and disturbingly young girls), and only women, as a fitness craze, while simultaneously being marketed to men as a way to watch women's bodies, again.
It's microproblematic versus macroproblematic again. The problem isn't a pole-dancing class, or an individual, or you, the problem is the way pole-dancing is coded in our culture, explicitly gendered, and associated with the commodification of women's bodies.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Now now, Miss Wizard, you're not being entirely fair there. There are more than a few strip clubs out there for female clientele that have poles installed for male dancers to use in their acts. Granted, pole dancing may have association with female strippers than male strippers but the world does not change over night. It's only through small steps like these that we achieve equality. :smallsmile:
Besides, when it comes to shameless lust, commodification is a human trait rather than a male trait. Case in point - self insert fan-fiction. You can't tell me with a straight face that your lifelong dream of being the tasty filling of a Thor/Loki sandwich has more to do with a cool, logical assessment of the personalities and less to do with their long flowing locks, gorgeous eyes and pleasingly muscled bodies, hmm? :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
:smallfrown: I wish I knew what I really sound like. I've been trying for almost a year, and I'm still not even close.
Of course, it's usually just little things like singing in the car, but still. I'd expect some progress! That and not knowing my name is really dragging me down...
Record yourself and listen back to what you recorded. Helps me with my band when we practice. We record ourselves and listen and we can say, "Oh I really like that, have to keep doing that", or "OMG wtf was that thing I just did, ERASE ERASE!!" :smalltongue:
But seriously, recording yourself and playing it back will help you be able to know how you sound, and how you want to sound. Also, you can figure out, and get muscle memory, for how you sound in your head, as opposed to how other people hear you. Because they definitely are different sounding.....how you hear you, as opposed to how others hear you.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
:smallfrown: I wish I knew what I really sound like. I've been trying for almost a year, and I'm still not even close.
Of course, it's usually just little things like singing in the car, but still. I'd expect some progress! That and not knowing my name is really dragging me down...
I find that learning a new skill often comes in levels. Nothing happens for a long time and then you suddenly jump up several notches at once. Might be the same here.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
My female voice sounds so weird. I lose my accent, and end up sounding... I've been compared with a breathy streamer for LoL, I got called irish by one odd person, and generally am 'somewhere in the atlantic.' Some words sound SO weird that I stop for several seconds after saying them going 'Is that how I pronounce that word?'
Somehow I develop a Georgia accent when my voice shifts. It got compared to Scarlett O'Hara's accent when it happened accidentally in class this semester.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.
Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.
I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.
Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.
Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.
I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.
That is awesome!!
Quote:
Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.
Nothing in this life worth doing is easy or NOT scary!! :smallbiggrin: I am sure you will do wonderfully though!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
*snip*
Objectifying the human body is the whole purpose of exhibitionist dancing. Whether it's at a ballet or a strip club, the only difference is sweat pants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Yes, well, divorced from the chipmunks Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 might have been a good movie. But it wasn't. :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
To be fair, it's not like Helio's trying to make some sort of statement dancing... It's kinda shamey to go right to social commentary about it. >.>
(On another note, I've always wanted to do parkour and those other clubs' names are pure awesome. :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin: )
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mynxae
Might be getting back with my ex that I mentioned a few pages ago, 'cause I also really never gave him much of a chance.. :smallsmile:
Hope it goes well~ :smallsmile:
~Bianca
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Kindablue
Objectifying the human body is the whole purpose of exhibitionist dancing. Whether it's at a ballet or a strip club, the only difference is sweat pants.
:smallannoyed:
Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist. It's a perfectly valid form of gymnastic exercise. Just try and claim that this is exhibitionism, as opposed to a highly technical gymnastic routine requiring immense amounts of skill, flexibility, and raw strength. And don't try and cite the lack of clothing as a reason in itself - you need bare skin to grip the pole, if she'd had any less skin showing some of the moves she pulled off would simply have been impossible.
Also, there's nothing inherently wrong with exhibitionism anyway. If someone is comfortable with and proud of their own body - or skills - and wants to show them off, why is that something they should be ashamed of?
ION, my friend who I've known since I was 9 but haven't seen recently has started coming to GameSoc. Unfortunately, he's either having real trouble or simply not bothering to switch to calling me Tam and use the right pronouns. This is annoying, as I was really hoping the new freshers would get to know me as female first and male only afterwards.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
:smallannoyed:
Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist.
In fact, when I try it I notice people see it more as inhibitionist.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
It depends on the person. The point of music and dance is to stir the emotions, whether it is the serenity and beauty of ballet or the passion and excitement of tango.
A pole is just a pole. A dancer could spin round it with grace and athleticism to a piece of classical music or they could dance close to it to a thumping bassline to stir feelings of desire.
It's all down to the dancer at the end of the day. =)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
ION, my friend who I've known since I was 9 but haven't seen recently has started coming to GameSoc. Unfortunately, he's either having real trouble or simply not bothering to switch to calling me Tam and use the right pronouns. This is annoying, as I was really hoping the new freshers would get to know me as female first and male only afterwards.
The obvious thing is to talk to him plainly and directly.
Should it be not bothering expalin it so he knows how important it is and hopefully gets it. If not I'd say you'd (sadly) need to minimise contact with him.
If it's trouble there's probably not much else he can do but keep trying - knowing how important it is to you should help though.
Or train him pavlovian style by tasering him in the balls every time he gets it wrong.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
:smallannoyed:
Poledancing is not inherently exhibitionist. It's a perfectly valid form of gymnastic exercise. Just try and claim that
this is exhibitionism, as opposed to a highly technical gymnastic routine requiring immense amounts of skill, flexibility, and raw strength. And don't try and cite the lack of clothing as a reason in itself - you need bare skin to grip the pole, if she'd had any less skin showing some of the moves she pulled off would simply have been impossible.
Also, there's nothing inherently wrong with exhibitionism anyway. If someone is comfortable with and proud of their own body - or skills - and wants to show them off, why is that something they should be ashamed of?
I never said any of that. I maybe should have clarified that "exhibitionism" was meant to exclude dancing purely for self satisfaction, like what I assumed the club you're nervous about joining is, and not a accusation of narrcisism, but by comparing stripping to ballet it should have been obvious that I think pole-dancers can be artists.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I disapprove of the disapproving stances people seem to be taking. :smallsigh:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kindablue
I never said any of that. I maybe should have clarified that "exhibitionism" was meant to exclude dancing purely for self satisfaction, like what I assumed the club you're nervous about joining is, and not a accusation of narrcisism, but by comparing stripping to ballet it should have been obvious that I think pole-dancers can be artists.
Dancing as a performance, even.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Coidzor
Dancing as a performance, even.
That might have been a better way to say it, sure. :smalltongue:
Also, I think I missed something. Sealing wax?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kindablue
Also, I think I missed something. Sealing wax?
And cabbages, and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
And cabbages, and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether fish have wings.
Yeah, okay, definitely missed something.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Hey guys, how are y'all? Is Caroll the topic?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
But all the poor little oysters got nommed. ='(
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I was kinda tempted to change it to "Of Shoes, and Hips, and Body Wax" :P
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Going to move stuff to spoilers.
Spoiler
Show
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Succubus
Now now, Miss Wizard, you're not being entirely fair there. There are more than a few strip clubs out there for female clientele that have poles installed for male dancers to use in their acts. Granted, pole dancing may have association with female strippers than male strippers but the world does not change over night. It's only through small steps like these that we achieve equality. :smallsmile:
Besides, when it comes to shameless lust, commodification is a human trait rather than a male trait. Case in point - self insert fan-fiction. You can't tell me with a straight face that your lifelong dream of being the tasty filling of a Thor/Loki sandwich has more to do with a cool, logical assessment of the personalities and less to do with their long flowing locks, gorgeous eyes and pleasingly muscled bodies, hmm? :smallwink:
Sexual/physical attraction does not equal objectification or commodification, and sure, again, there's nothing wrong with any individual, male or female, enjoying a physical act or show given by any other individual, it's the culture that surrounds it that's the problem.
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Originally Posted by
Arachu
To be fair, it's not like Helio's trying to make some sort of statement dancing... It's kinda shamey to go right to social commentary about it. >.>
But I didn't! I said I personally found it hard to get past the problematic connotations so I wouldn't be into it, but Helio should totally go for it, and then she asked me to elaborate!
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Well, went and signed up for the pole dancing club (I actually saw one male name on the list!) and also the LGBTsoc, which I didn't have the nerve to sign up for last year.
Also signed up for parkour, KrakenSoc the steampunk society, and the Assassins' Guild.
I never would have considered doing pole dancing before, but a friend of mine had a pole dancing birthday/engagement party, and not only did I have a really good time, I discovered I'm a bit of a natural. So I figured I'd give it a try.
Now I just need to dehair my legs again and get a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I'm going to try going as a girl, which is slightly terrifying. Hopefully it'll be okay.
Sounds awesome! Good luck with everything!
Sorry if I'm being snippy these days, I'm extremely tense, and have been for days now. Soon I'll either get the news I'm hoping for and be cheerful again, get the news I'm dreading and go into a total decline and probably stop coming here for a while, or just crack from the tension and who knows what I'll do? :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
Sorry if I'm being snippy these days, I'm extremely tense, and have been for days now. Soon I'll either get the news I'm hoping for and be cheerful again, get the news I'm dreading and go into a total decline and probably stop coming here for a while, or just crack from the tension and who knows what I'll do? :smalltongue:
Don't you have a SO around to give you footrubs and chilled margaritas?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
I was kinda tempted to change it to "Of Shoes, and Hips, and Body Wax" :P
Well I dunno about you, but I find a lot of ships in this thread.
Admittedly, most of them are half me and mostly daydreams, but regardless!
(Also hugs kender)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Succubus
It depends on the person. The point of music and dance is to stir the emotions, whether it is the serenity and beauty of ballet or the passion and excitement of tango.
A pole is just a pole. A dancer could spin round it with grace and athleticism to a piece of classical music or they could dance close to it to a thumping bassline to stir feelings of desire.
It's all down to the dancer at the end of the day. =)
Yes, just yes. +1 internets for each creature that approves.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble
*hugs* Know the feeling...
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
stupid body being the wrong shape grumble grumble grumble
trust me, I understand that. Mine is a bit more ROUND that I would like it to be :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
Well, there's the RA; but I'm not sure if they're supposed to deal with stuff like this.
There's no RD/RHD? There ought to be somewhere. Try the dorm office if that's a thing?
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Originally Posted by
Selpharia
In my experience, in these kinds of cases, there are co-ed dorms but the individual rooms are still separated by gender. It's pretty common, at least in U.S. colleges (though I'm not sure it's the same where Astrelia is)
Most US colleges that I've heard of offer co-ed dorms, and also single-gender floors/dorms. Very few (but a growing number) offer co-ed rooms; many offer co-ed suites with gender-segregated rooms.
I'm on a co-ed floor, but most of the people on this entire half are guys, except for two poor girls isolated over here. On the bright side they have an entire bathroom to themselves, of which I'm jealous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
That's weird and kind of dumb. I suppose there are a lot more women who feel unsafe in the presence of men than vice versa, and unfortunately, it's way easier to make a "No Men" space than a "No Rapists/Abusers" space. I have my fingers crossed for that second one though. Someday we'll work it out.
The restrooms in my dorm (and presumably most/all of the others on campus) are gender-segregated, but only the girls' restrooms have combo locks on the doors. A girl could walk into the guys' restroom if she wanted (I don't know why she would, they're gross), but we can't access their restrooms. Weird sexism and stuff.
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:smalltongue: I dunno, I genuinely don't know how people can spend that long in the shower. I mean, you take your clothes off, step into the shower, then wet and wash your body as the water is warming (I have sort-of-warm showers, never hot showers), then rinse it off as you wet your hair, then shampoo the roots, rinse, condition the tips, rinse, step out, towel off quickly cause you're naked and wet, then put new clothes on and comb through your hair. That all only takes ten minutes for me, up to fifteen if it's cold or I'm sick or tense and I decide to have a slightly-warmer shower and stand under the water for a minute to relax, but that takes effect almost immediately.
I typically spend upwards of twenty minutes in the shower. I used to spend upwards of forty minutes. Heat is my weakness, run hot water over me and I suddenly lose all energy and ability to move.
So I was reading about congenitally limb-deficient people and phantom limbs, because my neurobio prof. didn't know the answer to that. Many of them do experience phantom limbs that they never had. Then I looked up transsexuals and phantom limbs. I don't remember if this has been mentioned here before. Seems like relatively few post-op transsexual women experience phantom penises (that just sounds funny, really, "phantom penis") compared to cissexual men who lose their penises in accidents or to cancer or whatnot. Likewise, a significant number of transsexual men experience phantom penises from a young age, despite never having had penises.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
noparlpf
There's no RD/RHD? There ought to be somewhere. Try the dorm office if that's a thing?
RD/RHD?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
I typically spend upwards of twenty minutes in the shower. I used to spend upwards of forty minutes. Heat is my weakness, run hot water over me and I suddenly lose all energy and ability to move.
Showers are a personal weakness of mine. They're very soothing and I like to just sit on the shower floor curled up letting the water flow over me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
So I was reading about congenitally limb-deficient people and phantom limbs, because my neurobio prof. didn't know the answer to that. Many of them do experience phantom limbs that they never had. Then I looked up transsexuals and phantom limbs. I don't remember if this has been mentioned here before. Seems like relatively few post-op transsexual women experience phantom penises (that just sounds funny, really, "phantom penis") compared to cissexual men who lose their penises in accidents or to cancer or whatnot. Likewise, a significant number of transsexual men experience phantom penises from a young age, despite never having had penises.
Hm hm. I'm not sure if I mentioned it here before but I've come across accounts like this several times before.