Doomriders: A Campaign Journal

[MountainKing]

Whatever you do, do NOT knock on wearing fluffy slippers into battle. I've watched a party mage defeat lone ninja and *giants* in single, hand to hand combat; my old group and I swear by the wearing of fuzzy slippers. We think the dice gods love them.

[RdMarquis]

Fuzzy slippers that protect against cold. That's pretty ironic, considering they would have been perfectly suited to the Gnoll situation. And they sound like something you would buy off a late night infomercial.

"These do much, much more than protect your feet from that cold floor..."

[Fayd]

They're made from a cave bear that St. Dain killed himself... so they're brown. Comfy, but brown.

[flabort]

Well, brown is not as embaressing as pink or baby blue. actually, I think brown fuzzy slippers would look quite dignifying. unless they have ears and glass eyes to look like rabbits.

[Fayd]

Chapter 19: Hey Big Spender!

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We pick up in the middle of the day with Cade marching next door and squatting down in front of his uncle.

O_O

I know, I know, don’t look at me like that. As Cade himself put it, his secret’s already blown because of his sister and we’re marching off to a war against vast orcish hordes; at this point it would be beyond stupid not to bring Thezzick.

“Good morning, Uncle,” he says, despite the fact it’s now around one in the afternoon. Thezzick just mumbles in his sleep. Cade patiently moves a little closer and tugs the blanket from the older man’s face (eliciting an indistinct attempt at swearing) and repeats himself a little louder.

Trying valiantly to block out the light, Thezzick growls irritably at Cade to fetch him something to drink. Cade shrugs and moves to comply, when realization hits Thezzick like Fluffy’s fist. “CADE! YOU STAY RIGHT THERE!” he roars, scrabbling across the floor and seizing his nephew by the ankle. The paladin quickly assures him that he’s not going to run anymore. “I should hope so!” declares Thezzick hotly. “We’ve been all over this blasted continent looking for you!” Then he frowns. “Wait, so why is it you finding me instead of me finding you?”

“Well,” Cade sighs, “there’s a war on, and at the moment I’m neck-deep in it. Feel like tagging along and putting down an orcish invasion with me?”

Thezzick’s eyes begin to gleam, a toothy grin splitting his face.

“Might also be a dragon lurking about somewhere,” Cade observes casually.

For a moment it looks as if the grizzled warrior’s heart has stopped. A single tear slinks down his cheek, and without warning he catches Cade in a joyous bear hug. “You’ve brought me a war AND a dragon!!!” he shouts, as if it were the greatest birthday gift ever. (Seriously, he’s practically blubbering, folks.)

Then suddenly he drops his nephew and eyes him suspiciously. “You’re coming back with us after all this, aren’t you?”

“I should think so,” replies Cade evasively.

“SPLENDID!” A clap on the shoulder sends our paladin reeling.

Once he’s recovered, he chuckles. “It really has been a long time, hasn’t it Uncle? Say, do you know where to look for Aethan, Torin or Father?” Thezzick informs him to the best he knows, confirming and refining what we already know. Cade smirks. “I’ll send them all a message, see if we can make it a family outing like the old days. Remember those bandits at Teuton Field?”
Thezzick barks a hearty laugh. “Ah yes, good times.”

“Maybe we can have another one of Mia’s picnics afterward.”

Both men’s mouths water. Thezzick glances about the room and finally seems to realize that he’s not in his usual lodging. “I’ll go get Squisher! Where and when do we meet?”

Cade barely has time to tell him ‘in front of the inn tomorrow morning’ before Thezzick is out the door, practically skipping down the street in naught but his wrestling shorts, oblivious to all the strange looks he’s attracting. The paladin shakes his head with an amused smirk and sets about sending those messages, through Divine Archons of Turmlar, the god of knights his family serves.

Now, Torin is Cade’s younger brother and the player’s backup character in case the current Rentyr happens to die, so hopefully we’ll never meet him. Aethan is the eldest, and his player has summarily described him as ‘Batman-level detective. Not a paladin, because he doesn’t need Detect Evil.’ So, the message to him is actually requesting that he come to Tiborem and lurk about in the shadows, watching Gabraal and watching out for the Grand Duke. Aaron and Helen, the brothers’ parents, are just generally summoned to the field, though they are a significant distance away at the moment. (For the record though, Aaron is hinted to be even more intimidating --in a very different way-- than his brother Thezzick, though the two of them work perfectly together…)

Meanwhile, I’ve sent off two messages earlier today and their responses have returned. (Planar Messengers ROCK!) I sent a message to my master at the Gemstone Towers, Martin. He is bringing his class of Battlemages (FIELD TRIP!) and visiting his friends at the Burning Star Academy (founded by another of the heroes from the Great Orcish Invasion of 291, Csilla, who liked fire and shape-shifting into dragons and shape-shifting other people into dragons) to gather some more men. Yay for more firepower!

The other letter went to Kara, friend of mine from the Sapphire Tower (dedicated to healing and protection) asking if she could come down to Tiborem to take care of the Grand Duke and Duchess, as we are now certain that they are being poisoned. I warn her to be VERY careful around Gabraal and Erin, and tell her to trust a man named Aethan Rentyr if she meets him.

We spend the rest of the day shopping. Morchana goes to acquire daggers (two of them masterwork), shuriken, and some pretty nasty poisons from Agatha (including a particularly rough one called “Dragon’s Bile” which clots the blood, causing the arteries to explode from the increased blood pressure) all at the expense of the national treasury. Morchana now has one dagger on each calf, one on each thigh, one on each arm, two on each hip, one down her corset, one in her hair, and six throwing daggers in her belt, as well as a veritable bandolier of shuriken. She also picks up a pretty little ornamental dagger for eating and parties. Apparently she needs a knife she can remember not to poison.

Lossëlen flies around town gathering seeds to work her plant magics with. She ends up with a set of vegetable seeds, some medicinal herb seeds, and even some nice fruit seeds from a local vineyard.

Fluffy asks for some money from the treasury from me. When I ask him what he wants it for, he tilts his head in confusion and replies, “Money. Fluffy see other people have money, and Fluffy want some too.” Facepalm.

“Fluffy, we’ll buy you food instead—okay?” Fluffy agrees with his usual grin.

Cade doesn’t draw much, just enough for a longbow and maybe some rations. We are not certain of Keito's purchases or activities, but since when is that news?

I meanwhile go to the jewelry and metalworking part of the merchant district to get some material components to fuel my War Magic. First stop: Silversmith. I have them work as quickly as they can (a premium rate, but I’m on the country’s budget) and they create 60 small silver fish amulets for me. They look like that common fish-outline thing with the hole in the middle. This amulet is used to feed a War Magic called Feed the Horde, which will feed 10 times my Magic Power Modifier (MPM, which is Caster Level plus Power Stat Mod, which, for me is CHA) by transmuting the silver into fish and the space between into bread, and then doing some fun spatial trick to distribute the food to the army. Takes 10 minutes to do.

For my next trick, I somehow find a dwarf. I tell him that I’m more interested in the materials used to make the jewelry than the items themselves, and I ask for red gold and copper wire. The red-gold creates a massive fireball, which has been described to me as “A thermonuclear detonation without the radiation problems.” The copper wire creates a massive lightning bolt, which is considerably closer to my style anyway. There isn’t much red gold, and even the tiara and bracelet set he has made of it is not enough for a single casting. That and it costs FAR too much (half of a single über-fireball costs as much as 60 castings of Feed the Horde), but the copper, which creates a massive line of lightning to destroy my foes, is far more reasonable, at 80 drachmae for 2 casts. Besides, lightning is more my style anyway.

With our shopping completed (and the national treasury agents sobbing “We don’t have to use a shovel anymore!” and “I can see the floor again!”) we go back to the inn and sleep. I put a ward around the building which will wake us up if anything cold-subtyped crosses the line (so we’re safe, as Lossëlen is already inside of it)

During the night, as usual, “Roll Observations” and we roll high… to which, we are told “The night passes uneventfully.” Upon arising, we have breakfast and pick up our new-forged weapons (Fluffy’s Large Sized-Masterwork +1 Greataxe and a Masterwork +1 Saber for Cade) and pick up our choices from the armory.

I grab the Dragonscale Standard, the training quarterstaff (which I WILL find a use for) the Bluepine Javelin in addition to some minor things, like a buckler and a sling. When I grab the Javelin, I notice that it feels like I have another arm attached perpendicularly to the arm that’s holding it. NOT AGAIN! Look closer, and… yup. Emerald Tower make. It appears that Gunther paid 2 bribes with weapons made from me, one to the Grand Duke himself and one to the Captain of the Guard. I really hope there aren’t more of these… but now I have a new mission: to track down the other implements made with my soul.

Cade gets the Ducal armor and the Fuzzy Slippers, as well as the Orcripper Saber, a couple spare throwing spears, a couple other supplies, and curiously enough a set of horse armor while Lossëlen takes the Winterleaf Bow and single Orcwoe arrow.

Morchana takes a masterwork saber and a crossbow and a bundle of bolts—all of which she plans to poison—yes, even the saber. Queen of blades.

On the way out of town, we notice a HUGE commotion over by the stable area. There is a huge herd of horses, led by none other than Zoltan. (Mysterious horse druid, think waaaaay back toward the third or fourth chapter.) We had… forgotten… to stable our original horses, and as such, they are gone, probably requisitioned by Andris during his departure. We apologize profusely, and basically do everything we can to appease him. He gives us a set of new horses (except for Fluffy, whom no horse can ever possibly bear anymore). He lets us know that he has been tracking us with another of the magic lucky coins (apparently they are all connected) and he gives it to us, bringing our total up to 25. He cautions us that this means he can no longer keep tabs on us, but anyone else with a piece of the horde can do so…

He also tells me that there’s a strange weather pattern going on, and it isn’t my doing. “The wind is too cold from the North, too hot from the South, too gentle from the West, and too fierce from the East.”

Well. That was cryptic.

Fluffy runs alongside us, keeping up with the horses, for 4 days until we reach River’s Bend. Along the way, we make a short stop at the Longpipes, which has been fortified MORE and now is full of refugees. They say that their supplies will last for the forseeable future, and we HAVE to get to River’s Bend within the day, so we cannot stay. About this time, unfortunately, Thezzick decides to leave us to go dragonhunting. He gives us a lock of his hair so we can find him if we need to.

Arriving at River’s Bend that evening, we proceed directly to the Keep, where Baronet Connaught is… sitting out the war, stuck behind a desk doing paperwork. Again. I pity the poor lad. He’s exceedingly glad to see us (“FINALLY! Something to do!!!”) and we discuss strategy for the upcoming battle, deploy our troops, and begin to move out. We’ve decided to countersiege the countersiege to Captain Andris’ countersiege to the siege of Fort Connaught. Confusing? I thought so.

Our troops: 2 units of Spear Militia, 2 units of Archer Militia, 1 units of Ducal Knights, and the Blue Arms. We decide to leave one company of spearmen at the keep with the Baronet, who is none too happy about having to stay behind—again. However, he has to, because the peasants are on the brink of revolt. Morchana, being their heroine, (slayer of the corrupt noble Aralt the Younger) goes out to the courtyard and gives the peasants a pep talk about how the great nobility love them and are fighting to protect them, so they can be free to work the land, farm, and have children. They reluctantly agree, and disperse to their farms. Baronet Connaught still really wants to come along, but we really can’t take him—we need him to hold River’s Bend. Morchana goes to visit him later in the evening and somehow appeases him, telling him to wait there and see if he can’t raise more militia and be ready to come to our aid if we send a message. Other things ostensibly happen, as he doesn’t protest when we leave him the next morning.

With this, I'm almost caught up. One more chapter remains and I will be! MWHAHAHA!

[AtwasAwamps]

Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this post, Fayd? How am I supposed to create ridiculous shipping pairings in a post mainly about shopping, huh? You even talk about friggin’ Morchana’s thighs and calves and what-not and leave me no opportunities for joking about them with ridiculous puns.

You are inconsiderate and we are no longer BFFs 4 Lyfe.

My new shipping pair (out of spite):

Ducal Knights + Blue Arms/Fayd. Dogpile the outsider, boys.

PS: I love the idea that Morchana is this insanely heavily armed seductress.

“Let me slip into something more comfortable…”

CLANKCLANKDINKCLANGCLATTERCLATTERTHUNKCLANK

[Morchana]

Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this post, Fayd? How am I supposed to create ridiculous shipping pairings in a post mainly about shopping, huh? You even talk about friggin’ Morchana’s thighs and calves and what-not and leave me no opportunities for joking about them with ridiculous puns.

That's our job!

PS: I love the idea that Morchana is this insanely heavily armed seductress.

“Let me slip into something more comfortable…”

CLANKCLANKDINKCLANGCLATTERCLATTERTHUNKCLANK

Well, this IS battle-mode, after all. I suppose it bears noting that at this point, Morchana is no longer wearing the slinky black dress and corset, but has instead switched to a short tunic, leggings, leather jerkin (all in black), chainmaile, and what-not. All of her blades are now completely visible, save for the one down the front of her shirt, and the one in her hair.

But don't worry-- this is just a passing phase.

[AtwasAwamps]

But don't worry-- this is just a passing phase.

That's a pity. I like the "I am attractive and will probably stab you" style. Keep a guy on his toes.

"Do you come here often OH GOD MY EYES SHE POISONED MY EYES WITH A HAIRCLIP!"

"Hey baby, nice aaaaaaaamigodnononononono..."

[RdMarquis]

Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. Ew.

[Morchana]

Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. Ew.

It's probably a quicker and less painful way to go than the other poison I picked up-- Orcsblood. It was a lower DC, but it's like getting blood poisoning.

[Eldariel]

I think Morchana is an excellent femme fatale. As such, her exploits are quite intriguing to follow. Also, that's the reason I was expressing disappointment in the lack of body count before

Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. Ew.

It's an unfortunate fact that graphic descriptions of any death tend to be quite repulsive. For example:

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"My blade cut through his chest, puncturing his left lung with bone splinters, causing blood to flow in and his breath turning into rattle as he was gasping for air, to no avail. His heart rate increases as his brains no longer gain oxygen, and life escapes him with last look of agony wrung on his face."

All you did was stab the guy with a sword.

Bleh; that is most likely quite a good death compared to death by sword or some of the really vile deaths like drowning.

[Morchana]

I think Morchana is an excellent femme fatale. As such, her exploits are quite intriguing to follow. Also, that's the reason I was expressing disappointment in the lack of body count before

Well, part of that lack of body count has been for two reasons: 1) The Paladin would kill me if I killed someone he didn't want dead. 2) I have only had contracts to get information, not kill. I don't work for free!

[Eldariel]

Well, part of that lack of body count has been for two reasons: 1) The Paladin would kill me if I killed someone he didn't want dead. 2) I have only had contracts to get information, not kill. I don't work for free!

Yeah, this was covered already before, I believe. People needn't die if it gains you nothing. But it's still more interesting when...things happen I mean, we were given quite the introduction, given your exploits with certain Jr.

[Morchana]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!)

[Alex112524]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!)

No, that kind of thing is simply expected of you.

[Morchana]

So, to do something unexpected and interesting, what would I have to do? Take out half of an enemy force by myself-- wait, already did that. . .

Oh, I know. I would have to do something "good", like save a child from a burning building or take an oath of chastity. Yeah, like that will ever happen. . .

[Thomo]

Oh, I know. I would have to do something "good", like save a child from a burning building or take an oath of chastity. Yeah, like that will ever happen. . .

Personally, I'd find it more amusing if you saved a building from burning orphans (heh, something one of my dubiously aligned characters once did) especially seeing as it would keep in with the current theme of city beatification and reconstruction - moreso if it was a particularly noteworthy one.

And to stem the cries of murderous evil - orphans can be replaced with whatever small statured, murderous critters you see fit - parading as orphans.

[Eldariel]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!)

I disagree with Alex; that was highly interesting. So was Gab still being alive though - I think you pulled that off rather well. Surprise and...umm...intrigue is the word, I think.

[Fayd]

Well, surprise or not, next chapter certainly has a fair amount of surprises. It's about halfway done, and will need editing, but this process should be fairly quick.

Also, consider the following deeply: Watermelon.

[AtwasAwamps]

[QUOTE=Morchana;8013193 take an oath of chastity. [/QUOTE]

If you take an oath of chastity, then...

...I will go read the board rules again. Pretty sure the intended sentence would break at least three of them...

[Morchana]

If you take an oath of chastity, then...

...I will go read the board rules again. Pretty sure the intended sentence would break at least three of them...

Don't worry. There is no chance I will ever do that. I mean, think about it! Morchana? Chaste? Only with a really good deception roll. . .

[AtwasAwamps]

Don't worry. There is no chance I will ever do that. I mean, think about it! Morchana? Chaste? Only with a really good deception roll. . .

The circumstance penalty on that would be ridiculous.

[Fayd]

Editing is all that remains! I WILL HAVE VICTORY!

[Morchana]

The circumstance penalty on that would be ridiculous.

Yes, but I have a +13 modifier.

[Fayd]

Chapter 20: Lifting the Siege. Or: Hail to the Chief, Baby!

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Earlier in the (IRL) week, we had discussed the military strategy we were going to take at the Battle for Fort Connaught, so things proceeded smoothly. We do reconnaissance as we approach and the Blue Arms, who ROCK, spot a camp of orc raiders (100 in number). We get into position quickly, and the Blue Arms and archers begin to rain a deadly hail upon them. They try to approach us, but are cut down by the archers before they can get within range to force the archers to retreat behind the spearmen. A total victory, no casualties. Fluffy however, cannot understand why “You hurting them!” and tosses a couple of the archers about in a near panic, but to no avail… He slowly plods out into the field of battle after it’s all done, sits down in the midst of his dead kinsmen and starts crying. Cade spends some time along the way to the Castle Connaught consoling Fluffy and preparing him to fight the Chieftain tomorrow. Fluffy eagerly agrees to fight the Chief if it means more Glowaxe will survive. (He also has no problem bullying about any of the OTHER tribes.)

The evening before the siege, Lossëlen makes me a bale of straw from seed using her plant magic. Along the way, I’d gathered 20 cow/bull horns with help from various people. Both of them are components for different War Magic effects. Specifically, giving some of our men Slash Resistance 2 and a huge wind spell to knock enemies flat.

The basic layout of the siege: There are 2 units of orc warriors and one unit of their elite, the berserkers, with their chieftain among the berserkers, arranged in front of the keep like \_/ (The \ and / are the warriors.) Andris and his forces had been pinned between two groups of orcs (his counterseige got counterseiged) but they have since punched through and joined Connaught in the keep.

Our forces are arranged with our archers in front of the spearmen (until such time as they need to retreat) with a force of mounted knights ready to sweep around and hit them from behind. We are with the knights, and intend to take down the chieftain. Reason being: Fluffy is of the Glowaxe, and has a right to challenge for rule. In the Glowaxe orcs, the right to rule is determined by who holds the titular axe. That’s really the only rule to the custom; if the chieftain loses the Glowaxe to an enemy army ganging up on him, the next orc to pick it up is the new chieftain. Thus, the current plan.

We have the Blue Arms sneak over and draw off one of the groups of warriors, while we fire on the main host with our archers. As they come charging at us, Andris and his men (and Mia Rentyr) sally out of the keep and cut down the second group of warriors. By themselves. The archers fire volley after volley into the host of berserkers, until they are close enough to force our archers to retreat. The Knights (and party) begin our ride around. Connaught’s Ducal Guard has taken the field as well, but aside from firing a couple of arbalest volleys at the Blue Arms’ targets they hover near the gate in reserve, in case things take a turn for the worst.

The orc berserkers charge headlong into the spear militia (who are, by the way, set against charge, meaning double damage) and 34 of our spearmen die straight out. Those berserkers rolled VERY well. Before there’s time for anything else our party/cavalry crash into the berserkers from behind, dealing heavy damage, while leaving room for us to get to the chieftain. The order is given, and the spear militiaman holding the Dragonscale banner activates it, screaming the activating phrase at the top of his lungs. Malconflagrant roars again, and the orc berserkers all break formation and run for the hills. The chieftain does not break, and we engage. The spearmen retreat, infinitely thankful that someone else is taking on this horror;

The orc Chieftain stands at 14 feet tall (taller than Fluffy) and is incredibly muscular. He is holding a massive glowing axe, presumably the Glowaxe. This… might not be as easy as we thought…

All of us fire SOMETHING ranged at him the first round, except Fluffy and me. All of them hit, except for Morchana’s shuriken. Lossëlen channels a cold spell, lands the shot with Winterleaf, dealing non-lethal damage and dealing DEX damage. Keito fires her arbalest, hitting the chieftain square in the back. Cade’s shot also connects solidly. The chieftain had spent his turn charging, so he didn’t get to move. I begin a summoning, while Fluffy charges forward himself to strike, doing so very well. Moments later, my summoning appears on the battlefield. I have called to the material plane an elemental from the plane of Plant… a Large sized and particularly vicious Watermelon Elemental!

What?

Regardless, the next round, Cade rushes in to hit the Chieftain with a Spell Channeled Smite Evil. His first Smiting of the campaign, in fact, which deals tremendous damage as the water from the Weeping Blade smashes into the Chieftain and sizzles --for near max damage, in fact, a whole 23 points of damage. (The actual sword stroke doesn’t manage to connect.) Morchana tries throwing shuriken again, which, while they hit, do not penetrate the great orc’s skin. Sadly, he also succeeds on his fort save, and is not poisoned. She also scrambles for the gap in the wave of orc berserkers fleeing past our group. Keito drops her arbalest and draws her pre-loaded crossbows (New York Style reload) and fires both of them at the beastman. Two weapon fighting is fun! Lossëlen uses Arrow Storm to get three shots in at the orc (one of which goes wide) dealing more incredible non-lethal damage. The orc chieftain, seeing two melee combatants, gives each of them a slash with the Glowaxe. “What’s your hit point total?”

When all was said and done, my War Magic buff sprung a straw training dummy out of the ether to take part of the blow, and Cade had 2 HP left. Out of 50. Fluffy had significantly more… remaining, but he is feeling the pain. Fluffy hits back, hard, and then my watermelon elemental claws at it with its leaves and vines. The bite attack sadly goes wide.

Next round, out of concern for Cade, Lossëlen creates a 10-foot tall ice wall between the Chieftain and the Paladin. However, Cade is getting OUT of there. He runs off quickly and uses the Weeping Blade’s innate heal spell quickcast to heal himself. With his standard action, Cade cast a binding spell on the Chieftain’s arms. Morchana, deciding that shuriken are not working, throws a poisoned dagger, which nicks the Chieftain, but again fails to poison. Keito throws out a heal onto Fluffy, and I hit the orc Chieftain with lightning from the heavens (which doesn’t hit until the end of the round)

The chieftain, arms caught in golden mystical chains, trips Fluffy and steps over him to come at the rest of the party. Fluffy gets up and takes another swing at the chieftain dealing decent damage. My watermelon elemental takes a massive bite into the Chieftain with its sharp cellulose fangs, and clawing with its vine arms.

Morchana throws more shuriken, trying desperately to poison the brute, carefully staying out of range of the Glowaxe. Lossëlen creates a vine that tried to strangle the Chieftain, but only managed to reach his shins and hold him to that spot. Cade readies his short spear and hurls it charged with a Spell Channeled Smite Evil. It was a GLORIOUS hit. Keito hits the orc with an acid bolt… and by this point, my mana had run down to a point where I had entered the “Tired” status, and thus, my initiative dropped. The Chieftain got to move next. Fluffy is in BAD shape… but thankfully the watermelon elemental had bitten the Chieftain, causing him to split his two attacks, yelling “THE GLOWAXE IS MINE, PUNY ONE!!!” into Fluffy’s face with the swing. Watermelon chunks splatter the entire battlefield, and Fluffy is knocked down to 4 HP.

Fluffy wittily retorts with “FLUFFY GONNA EAT YOUR BALLS!” and a beautiful golf swing 66-damage critical. The Chieftain’s upper half bade a swift and sudden farewell to his lower half and took a long flight toward the horizon. (Failed to land in the green, unfortunately --Fluffy will have to take a another stroke. ) Everyone’s favorite barbarian takes the Glowaxe in his hands, and bellows his triumph.

The berserkers uniformly turn around and kneel down before their new Chieftain: Cheiftain Fluffy the Terrible! We quickly signal our knights to kindly not execute our new recruits. Observation checks all around show that there is a troop of orcish raiders who, upon seeing their bisected boss’s upper half land next to them, decided that they were just going to go continue on their way toward home to await their new chief’s rites of passage.

Andris and his knights come forward to join us, and with them is Mia Rentyr, who runs up to Cade yelling “HI BIG BROTHER!!! How are you?!?”

“Right now I feel like walking into that keep, finding the first thing resembling a bed, and falling over.”

She flying tackle-hugs him, and heals him instantly. Nice.

Another observation check, and I notice that we are currently surrounded by 3 scouting parties of Doomriders. They look like they are just scouting though, and they’re running off to report. I inform the gathered commanders of our “friends” and we move the discussion inside.

Swift had been keeping on lookout duty during the battle. His reports mostly involved “OOH! SHINY!” and “MOVEMENT! Oh wait… that’s us… isn’t it?” and once “WATERMELON!” After the fight, I let him hunt. Midway through the meeting, I am informed “You are getting a feeling of intense curiosity coming from Swift. Do you encourage this?” I have Swift get me a more detailed picture before I get any other information, and spend the next part of the conversation communing with him and unable to input. I know all about the party’s current discussion topic with Andris and Connaught, but I can’t say anything. It is torturous.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to decide out next course of action. Andris and Connaught bicker for a while over whether or not to go help Aralt, and eventually it is decided, on Connaght’s insistence, to leave him to rot. We do hope that he lives a long, long life. It means the orcs aren’t coming for us. We don’t exactly want to face the Ghostdancers and undead.

So, our next question is “What to do with Gabraal?” Morchana fills in Andris and Connaught on the situation with Gabraal, the Duke, and the Duchess. Andris is really, really, really upset when he hears of all that has been going on, especially the bit where the Duchess is taking, albeit unknowingly, a contraceptive. “That’s just great!” he exclaims, and begins hitting his head on the wall. Andris wants to go arrest Gabraal, Connaught wants to just kill him, and in the end, we send Andris and Mia to go jail him.

During the course of the discussions, Connaught mentions artifacts from the previous war that did… something. A knowledge History check from someone other than me later, and we recall that the artifacts are 3 sets of 3 “monoliths” which, when activated with a pulse of holy energy will prevent any evil outsiders from staying within their area of effect. This is all a little too much to think about while we are so tired, so we finally decide to go back to River’s Bend and just discuss our next course of action on the way or when we get there.

Meanwhile, I finally get a clear view from Swift. I’m seeing a familiar face… it would be almost exactly the same, in fact, if there were two scars across his cheeks. Gabraal --the younger. There is… one small difference. Gabraal the younger has horns; Tiefling. Excellent. In fact, there is something deformed about every single one of his soldiers. Some have cadaverous hands, others have no lips… just a gaping hole in their flesh where their mouth should be. Swift is also feeling a… very strange… emotion: Attraction. To Gabraal. He and I are somewhat disturbed. An Incubus Tiefling, and one strong enough to work across (taxonomical) class, order, family, genus, species and gender boundaries.

That’s PROBABLY not good. Although those outsider-banishing monoliths are sounding more and more appealing…

I inform the group and the Grand Dutchery Elite (and Mia) of what I just saw, and things don’t look good.

We go to sleep, and I borrow Stormwrack from Andris for the night. Mostly, I want to see if there’s anything I can learn by having both weapons with my soul in them… as this looks like the last time I might have them all in one place again... for quite some time. Tam and I are going to take care of what is happening out of session, before next.

Also, when we get up in the morning, the sunrise behind us is rivaled by the brilliant sight before us, out the window. Specifically, about half the entire country is on fire.

Quoth the paladin, “Wow. That sucks.”

[RdMarquis]

A watermelon elemental?

You summoned one of these to fight the orcs?
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/watermelonmonster.html (Old kung fu movies can get trippy sometimes.)

Kidding aside, this was an awesome entry. Fluffy getting the kill shot on the chieftain (while shouting a memorable battle cry) to claim his title was a definite highlight. I'm kinda glad that I'm having trouble sleeping tonight.

[Fayd]

Not exactly what I had in mind, but... nevertheless effective.

We are beginning to think that Fluffy's player has "Plot Luck." When the story calls for it, he will crit. No questions asked.

[MountainKing]

"Quoth the paladin: "Wow. That sucks."" is officially one of my new gaming phrases! Keep up the awesome work you guys!

[Fayd]

"Quoth the paladin: "Wow. That sucks."" is officially one of my new gaming phrases! Keep up the awesome work you guys!

Which, in and of itself, is a reference to SCS's campaign journals, which I highly recommend.

We game again tomorrow and I will try to get the chapter written quickly.

[MountainKing]

Who's campaign journals? It's a big board, and a bigger world; help a brother out, please.