My Little Pony XLIX: I Have Done Nothing Productive All Day!

[SiuiS]

Very well, changeling, say goodbye to your- *whack*
Igor! What have I told you about incinerating our lab specimens?

phew

That is a bad assistant, no bannanna for you! *turns towards the screen* Now, as for you, I think its time we talked this over with the princesses like sane, rational ponies via teleconference.

Yes, that is the purpose of the message.

*presses a button* Smile changeling! You're on True Seeing camera! By the way, I've already taken the liberty of sending them archived footage of how you seized the ship, Imprisoned its commander, and your little conversation with specimen Delta-3.
Have fun explaining all of that while they can see you're a changeling in a military uniform.

*Starry is revealed... To be a dark cream pony disguised as a changeling disguised as a dark cream pony!*

Oh no. My disguise. You cad. However will I explain my treachery. *Has been taking notes from Jayden on sarcastic misdirection*
And conversation? I'm sorry, but what I see is clearly the 'specimen' and myself looking at each other as much as is possible, given she has a camera and no monitor, while I have a monitor and no camera.

While I can't accpect your offer regarding the changeling queen (you said yourself how difficult those specimens are to acquire), I have a feeling that, in a few moments, I'm going have an extraneous changeling specimen that would be perfect for all sorts of hideous experiments.

Keep the inhumanities rolling, Boffie. I've got a long memory.
I don't understand how discussing a potential pact with a necromancer's animate corpse while on live feed to Her Grace, the Princess Celestia is supposed to be good for your cause? Or discussing hideous experiments?

1: I don't make that stuff. Gravelbeard does, you should ask him about it.

I'm terribly sorry, but I can only create Pyrocumulus in small quantities. What is the size of the amount you want, and how long are you willing to wait for it?

Ah. Let us see if we can put it on long term billing. Silver Spire with the R&D section should have a few plans for you to revie---Skrtthchch-- wk- frzzzzt-- you're so inclined.

Ummm...Igor, could you lend me a hoof, hand, appendage, whatever?
Very well then, your highness, if I may, I would like to direct your attention to classified documents Alpha-5789, Alpha-5790, and Gamma-8666.

Alpha-5789 Date [REDACTED]

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I hereby command my former student, Professor Irving Boffinspark, to continue his studies into the science of magic, and authorize him to do so using any means he may deem necessary, barring restrictions that I myself place on his research. Furthermore, I declare that, with regards to this research, Professor Irving Boffinspark shall be considered to have been issued a royal writ of carte blanche regarding any Equestrian laws, barring any exceptions that I personally place on him. Such exceptions shall only be placed on him with my personal knowledge and consent, and shall not be considered to have taken effect until the professor or his assistant have received noticed of said restrictions signed by myself.

Signed,
Princess Celestia of Equestria

Alpha-5790 Date [REDACTED]

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I hereby command that my former student, Professor Irving Boffinspark, is to build and maintain a network of no fewer than eight of the devices known as Orbital Friendship Cannons. Professor Irving Boffinspark is to be given full control over this network, and such control may not be rescinded without my official authorization and signature. The professor is fully authorized to ignore or resist attempts to rescind such control using whatever methods he deems appropriate if he is not presented with evidence of my personal authorization at the time.*
In the event of a Class-V threat to Equestria, Professor Irving Boffinspark is to wait 72 hours, and if the threat is not resolved within this timeframe, he is hereby ordered to commence bombardment of said threat via the Orbital Friendship Cannon network until said threat is neutralized.

Signed,
Princess Celestia of Equestria

And my personal favorite, Gamma-8666 Date [REDACTED]

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I hereby command that my former student, Professor Irving Boffinspark, is to begin research into ways to extract and disperse the chaos energy produced by the Class-V entity known as Discord. Furthermore, should Professor Irving Boffinspark deem it as a necessary method to disperse such energy, he is hereby authorized to weaponize said chaos energy, provided said energy is only deployed against Class-III or higher threats, under the authority provided to him in documents Alpha-5789 and Alpha-5790.

Signed,*
Princess Celestia of Equestria

O*snrrrkkazzlzlzlzlz* urn that off!

I said interrupt HIS signals. Faust...

*ahem*

I don't know about you, Boffinspark, but I have to ask the same question as prior. Are you sure, are you absolutely positive that Princess Celestia would give you permission to weaponize Discord?

I mean really, at least my station comes from a millennia-old oversight.

As you can plainly see, you yourself provided the professor with full authorization for his actions, and provided him with legal justification to resist "Starry Notions" attempts to restrain him. Futhermore, I would like to point out that Starry Notions has in fact been replaced by a changeling, a race designated as a Class-III threat, and thus his actions remain highly suspect in this matter.
Furthermore, I would like to correct one final misconception; As of his recent marriage, Professor Iriving Boffinspark holds dual-citizenship within both Equestria and the Fire Elemental Plane, and has not as of yet taken any actions on behalf of the latter kingdom regarding military assistance.

In conclusion, the actions taken by the professor have all been either authorized or directly ordered by you yourself.

Mm.

Well, I have to admit this is certainly inconvenient. Igor, have you had any luck contacting the princesses regarding settling this matter?
Ook. Ook oook ook.
Wait, I have diplomatic what now?
Well, by marrying me you did technically become a member of Fire Elemental royalty. Incidentally, I do believe that I could justify dipping into our defense budget to establish an OFC array here in Equestria.
THIS CALLS FOR SOME TRIUMPHANT LAUGHTER! AHA-

I don't know. Dipping into foreign funds to set up a weapons network, after you've been cited as having to file paperwork first? You were told quite clearly that until we could prove your claims of free reign you should just buy the license. Your response was to shoot at...

*quickly flashes old paperwork with a bunch of Lunar seals*

A ranking military officer?_{given the police can't be arsed anymore to come near you}