The Sons of the Fallen (WIP)

[Iamyourking]

First off, I am overjoyed that not only is someone taking an interest in my work, but they are also interested in using it. You could make it fit your campaign perfectly well without any tweaking by saying that your giants are Gittim (Or perhaps Gittite-Avvite hybrids) who fled persecution; thereby providing a potential adventure hook for the players as they follow the ancient records left behind back to Hinnom (Or what's left of it, as I mentioned two ways it could be destroyed and hinted at a few others). I'll try to read your campaign log and get back to you with a more specific response once I know more of the details.

If you want clarification on some minor point that I didn't mention, don't hesitate to PM me; thinking of answers for these things helps me expand my grasp of the concept. In return, I'd like it if you (Which includes anyone who might want to use it) asked me before making changes for your campaign. I probably won't be offended, after all it's meant to be used and I certainly can't stop you, but I'd like to at least know how people are using my work.

Question: you mention one of the chars as a Warblade, but don't have his maneuvers. Was this intentional?

I'm unsure what you mean, the only Warblade I mentioned is the Dawn Guard; but they are a group, not a character, and I listed their maneuvers. "Most Dawn Guard know the Charging Minotaur, Leading the Attack, Moment of Perfect Mind, Mountain Hammer, and Wall of Blades maneuvers at Initiator Level 10 and the stance Leading the Charge." I did mention that companies of Avvite warriors are led by Rephaite warblades, but that is also not a character and these things are almost never statted; e.g. how most entries for Humanoids in the Monster Manual include ones with class levels in their Organization section.

One thing I'd do is break up the text. Whilst it does flow nicely enough, I'm used to reading big text. People will look at it more if you space out those paragraphs, and have a break every time a new idea, person, or thought is introduced. I'd double-enter every time there's a paragraph, to give the illusion of more space.

Done, it was an unfortunate relic of how these forums don't like paragraph breaks and of course it wouldn't seem as dense to the author.

I may also introduce a section of "how to use this in your game", somewhere near the beginning, as a way to draw in DMs and encourage them to take parts or all of the setting and ideas.

Edit: Ok, done. Is there anything else you think it needs?

Overall, keep it up. You've already become the second most helpful contributor and I wouldn't consider it impossible for you to surpass Pokonic.