The GM is an idiot

[MrEdwardNigma]

You were all sitting in Hank's basement, wondering why you came here in the first place. None of you really knew Hank that well, but from what you'd seen he was pretty much a lost cause. Hank was a geekish kid with thick glasses and asthma, but worst of all he was a complete idiot. Still, you'd agreed to come when he'd asked you to play in his roleplaying game, because hey, he had to be good at something, right? Besides, his big brother Dan was a legend when it came to roleplaying. Toughest GM in the state, you'd heard. Hank couldn't be all that bad, could he?

"Welcome, welcome you guys! I'm glad you're all here, this'll be so great, I almost can't wait! My mom made us some snacks and we even had some soda left, so feel free to take some, but not too much, or your character might get killed off! He-he-he-he-he-*cough* *wheeze* Eeeeeh, I'm only kidding off course. Or am I? He-he-he-he-he!"
Hank pauzed to use his inhalor.

"Riiiight. Anyways, I suppose we'd better roll up characters first. I'd like to start at the lowest possible level. Now, I've only had time to read a couple of pages of the book, so I wasn't able to find any information on level 0, howeveeeeer I was able to find some information about level 1, so I just tweaked it a bit myself so we can make beginner level characters. Now, level 1 characters are created by throwing six d20, but we'll be creating our level 0 characters by throwing five d20 and two d12! Aaaaand, as an extra bonus, you can even pick yourself what values to assign to what attribute. The attributes are Strenght, Intelligence, Wisdom, ehrm..."
Hank pulls out his sourcebook, which still has a huge orange sticker on it reading "DISCOUNT! Misprinted edition". He flips through it a bit until he finds the page he needs.

"Ah, yes, off course, Strenght, Intelligence, Wisdom, Constitution, Dexterity, Charisma and a homebrew attribute I call Awesomeness! Sounds good, doesn't it? Awesomeness is used to do all kinds of awesome stuff, but more about that later. Besides your attributes you'll also need to pick your class and race. Only sourcebook material guys, he-he-he-he-he..."
Hank pauzes again to use his inhalor.

"Sorry, guys, it's just the stress, I guess... Well, besides the stuff I've mentioned you need to think up a name, choose your sex and maybe think out a little character background, but not too much, we don't have all day, he-he-he-he-he. Good, there's plenty of paper to go around, and I gave you all some pencils too, so that's all you need to know, really. Get crackin'!"

Okay, so Hank does seem to be pretty much a disaster at GMing. What will he do next, come up with a GM player character? Well, you've promised Hank you'd play his RPG and he'd probably be really hurt if you left, so you might as well pick up that pencil and write yourself a character sheet!

The resulting character sheets:
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Drek, the destroyer

Race: Bard
Class: Halfling
Sex: Male
Player: Krono

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 6
Wisdom: 9
Constitution: 7
Dexterity: 10
Charisma: 14
Awesomeness: 2

AC: 14 (11)
Hit Points: 6
Experience: -350

Equipped: Lute, Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword.
Inventory: Hammer.
Money: 58

Character Background: Teal
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Xian Li

Race: Elf
Class: Monk
Sex: Male
Player: Duke of URL

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 6
Wisdom: 17
Constitution: 8
Dexterity: 16
Charisma: 4
Awesomeness: 3

AC: 13
Hit Points: 8
Experience: -400

Equipped: Clothes, +1 sword
Inventory: Piece of rope.
Money: 3

Character Background: Read 23 pages attachment.
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Dragonborn of Bahamut chosen bonus: Wings

Race: Dragonborn Fire Hobgoblin
Class: Wizard
Sex: ???
Player: Bayar

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 11
Constitution: 17
Dexterity: 13
Charisma: 6
Awesomeness: 1

AC: 14 (11)
Hit Points: 4
Experience: -450

Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword.
Inventory: Staff with pitchfork tied to it
Money: 15

Character Background: ???
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John John Binks

Race: Human (He's just wearing a weird hat, okay?)
Class: Rogue
Sex: Yes, please
Player: Koga

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 4
Wisdom: 4
Constitution: 12
Dexterity: 18
Charisma: 4
Awesomeness: 8

AC: 14
Hit Points: 6
Experience: -500

Equipped: Clothes, dagger.
Inventory: Shovel, two dead rats.
Money: 4

Character Background: I think he was a senator once, but they fired him two days after.
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Jericho

Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Sex: Male
Player: The Necroswanso

Strength: 11
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 6
Constitution: 10
Dexterity: 7
Charisma: 13
Awesomeness: 6

AC: 8
Hit Points: 4
Experience: -500

Spells: Turn into Undead.

Equipped: Clothes, staff.
Inventory: /
Money: 4

Background: Seeking to gain the ultimate knowledge of undead and it's application of how it can be useful in the world.
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Dangalf the Black

Race: Tiefling (Wait, wait, wait, aren't these supposed to be thieves?)
Class: Wizard
Sex: Male
Player: Silkenfist

Strength: 17
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 16
Constitution: 10
Dexterity: 3
Charisma: 2
Awesomeness: 18

AC: 6
Hit Points: 1 (4)
Experience: -350

Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

Equipped: Clothes, staff.
Inventory: /
Money: 4

Background: On a quest to become the most powerful wizard in the universe.
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Kam Gompizo

Race: Human
Class: Cleric
Sex: FeMale
Player: Quxelopqr Zimmia

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 11
Wisdom: 20
Constitution: 17
Dexterity: 3
Charisma: 11
Awesomeness: 2

AC: 6
Hit Points: 8
Experience: -400


Spells: Turn Undead.

Equipped: Clothes, Bible.
Inventory: /
Money: 4

Background: Sent by his God to go on a holy quest of some kind and probably slay some evildoers.
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Physical

Race: Human
Class: Ranger
Sex: Female
Player: LatemYvaeh

Strength: 14
Intelligence: 1
Wisdom: 2
Constitution: 3
Dexterity: 15
Charisma: 10
Awesomeness: 1

AC: 15 (12)
Hit Points: 8
Experience: -450

Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), short sword, short bow, quiver: 10 arrows.
Inventory: /
Money: 4

Background: Apprentice ranger.

Mister Rat

Race: Rat
Class: Rat?
Sex: Male
Player: /

Strength: 2
Intelligence: 2
Wisdom: 12
Constitution: 10
Dexterity: 15
Charisma: 2
Awesomeness: 0

AC: 14
Hit Points: 1
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Harry Rotter

Race: Undead
Class: Wizard
Sex: Male
Player: Hank

Strength: 12
Intelligence: 20
Wisdom: 20
Dexterity: 12
Charisma: 20
Awesomeness: 50

AC: 14 (11)
Hit Points: 4
Experience: -400

Spells: Fireball, Feather Fall.

Equipped: Clothes, leather armor (AC +3), staff.
Inventory: Empty bottle marked resurrection, short sword.
Money: 3

Background: He learnt magic at a magic school! And then he died.
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