Relationship Woes and Advice, The Seventh Saga

[Dr. Bath]

You guys! that is all go-for-it advice and I have many reasons to NOT go for it!


okay, lets assume I do have a chance, I am in his super-cute smile-to-die-for league, and that he does not like the other girl.

He still doesnt live in my town, Im still a crazy-busy high school student with a part time job, and I still wouldnt get to see him. This is on top of the fact that I've become a total cynic when it comes to romance. I am so sick of guys and relationships that all end in the same exact way. And I'm more sick of falling for guys who aren't good for me and yes, I'll admit, this guy is unlike my usual type but don't I always think that at first?? And besides, I always fall for the average to not-so-cute boys who are really smart and/or sweet and usually I cant even get THEM to be interested...how would I get this one to be?

and it is getting worse because Im talking to him more and YOU GUYS ARE NOT HELPING ME STOP THIS CRUSH!

STOP CRUSHING ON THIS GUY! That's what you want to hear, right?

If the problem is that you won't see him very often... PROBLEM SOLVED! You won't be seeing him much, what with him living far away, so can happily not flirt with him that whole time he's not near. If you want to forget about him, there's not much you can do other than a) avoid him b) find out about his awful personality traits from friends (everyone has them) or c) just, y'know, get over it.

Sounds to me like you do want encouragement, but it is quite honestly entirely up to you whether you want to go for it or not. I would suggest thinking out the logical positives and negatives of each scenario (ie pursuing this guy and not pursuing the guy), but I'm pretty sure that only works for weirdos like me.

As much as you say you don't have a chance, I'm pretty sure you do. Go for it if you like, but if everything points towards it being a total train-wreck waiting to happen (like your previous romantic entanglements?) then don't. (Yeah, pretty non-committal advice there. Go me)

[skywalker]

STILL! Crushes come and go. Make out sessions are forever.

No, that's not my advice.

But it is mine

[Partof1]

I've got my chance tomorrow! The band is gone, which includes most of our friends, so she won't be surrounded, and I won't look out of the ordinary if I talk to her, as I have nobody to talk to. This is great!

[CrimsonAngel]

I've got my chance tomorrow! The band is gone, which includes most of our friends, so she won't be surrounded, and I won't look out of the ordinary if I talk to her, as I have nobody to talk to. This is great!

Congratz.

[Jae]

That's definitely not the way to think.

I assume you're one of the following things:

1) a giraffe
2) World of Warcraft
3) hot
4) yourself
5) "stupid, awkward and eyelid-fluttery" (don't deny you are - we all are exactly those sometimes)
6) interested in nerd boys

So, chances are, he likes you.

You're a girl, right? He has no chance.

And even if he doesn't, what do you really have to lose if you make a go for it? Self-respect? Comes back in the morning. Respect of your friends? If they laugh at you for trying, then they are not very good friends after all. Comfortable and wonderful single life?

...OK, that one might be worth thinking about.

STILL! Crushes come and go. Make out sessions are forever.

No, that's not my advice.

My advice is, stop making excuses and give it a shot. If he says no, well, you tried and your life will go one without a hick. If he says yes, hey, you got a guy who (whom?) you like as a boyfriend! Three cheers to that!

I think we are not on the same page!
im not sure what giraffe means really BUT I do know I am not one due to the fact that giraffes are tall and I'm undeniably tiny. shortshortshort.
I know NOTHING of World of War Craft.
I am NOT not Not nOt hot. never.
I am myself.
I am stupid and awkward
I have been known to be into nerd boys.

BUT this particular boy is NOT a nerd. He is a cute cute cutie. And far from nerdy. so wouldnt these things not apply...?

STOP CRUSHING ON THIS GUY! That's what you want to hear, right?

If the problem is that you won't see him very often... PROBLEM SOLVED! You won't be seeing him much, what with him living far away, so can happily not flirt with him that whole time he's not near. If you want to forget about him, there's not much you can do other than a) avoid him b) find out about his awful personality traits from friends (everyone has them) or c) just, y'know, get over it.

Sounds to me like you do want encouragement, but it is quite honestly entirely up to you whether you want to go for it or not. I would suggest thinking out the logical positives and negatives of each scenario (ie pursuing this guy and not pursuing the guy), but I'm pretty sure that only works for weirdos like me.

As much as you say you don't have a chance, I'm pretty sure you do. Go for it if you like, but if everything points towards it being a total train-wreck waiting to happen (like your previous romantic entanglements?) then don't. (Yeah, pretty non-committal advice there. Go me)

That is EXACTLY what I want to hear but I'm afraid its more complicated. I mean, it's particular easy to talk to people who dont live next door these days..considering cell phones, internet, etc. So even though i dont see him, I still can talk to him and do talk to him.
I love bad personality traits. i love them more than good personality traits. Dont judge me, I know that sounds crazy, but finding out peoples imperfections interests me...and in romantic situations, bad traits are pretty much a turn-on. (uhh hence the falling for the wrong people bit.) And I've never known how to just get over it. Im a wimp gr

[Felixaar]

littlebottom, worth a shot - even if it fails horribly then at least there will be some closure.

partof1, woo! go for it, man!

Khan, sounds like she is thinking it over, just give her time. also, i once owned a cat named smiley. useful information *taps nose*

Jae, we're giving you go for it advice because we think you should go for it, hun believe me, if you don't you'll only end up regretting it [/strange prophecy]

[averagejoe]

I am NOT not Not nOt hot. never.

*has a gander at the previous "you" thread*

Haha, what? I actually laughed aloud at this when I saw your picture. I thought I'd have to write something that I probably would have ended up not posting as my generally honest nature got in the way of my trying to make you feel better, but I really don't see any reason for you to think this. At best you can split hairs as far as the definition of "hot," but the general sentiment is still wrong.

[The Rose Dragon]

"All of [vlogbrothers'] videos, except for the ones that include giraffe sex as the center screenshot, are watched by three times more women than men!"

The said six items are from that particular video "How to Get Guys To Like You".

Honestly, I don't think you're that attractive. But most others do, and they must know something, right?

[Felixaar]

*has a gander at the previous "you" thread*

Haha, what? I actually laughed aloud at this when I saw your picture. I thought I'd have to write something that I probably would have ended up not posting as my generally honest nature got in the way of my trying to make you feel better, but I really don't see any reason for you to think this. At best you can split hairs as far as the definition of "hot," but the general sentiment is still wrong.

I think when you translate this out of "Mathemtician" and back to "English", Joe is saying that actually, you are attractive, and I agree with him. But when it comes down to it, it's not really that important - if a guy only liked you for your looks, bah, forget him, and theres also the fact that people are often more physically attracted to someone if they happen to like their personality. There's a little link there.

@v Yeah, I agree. As far as I go, people just have to trust me when I say that I never lie.

[averagejoe]

I think when you translate this out of "Mathemtician" and back to "English", Joe is saying that actually, you are attractive, and I agree with him. But when it comes down to it, it's not really that important - if a guy only liked you for your looks, bah, forget him, and theres also the fact that people are often more physically attracted to someone if they happen to like their personality. There's a little link there.

Haha, I do tend to get a bit dispassionate when talking about people's appearance. It's because a lot of how people give compliments (and, really, a lot of romance) seems very insincere to me, so I try not to dress things up fancily so that people know that I actually mean what I say, and don't have any ulterior motives involved. It's those people who idly compliment who dilute the significance of real compliments.

On that note, I do appreciate that you're honest about the subject, Rose Dragon. Although, unless you have some sort of defense for that point of view that I haven't thought of, I have no choice but to regard you as irrational and probably not in your right mind.

Edit: More to the point, looks really aren't as important as they're said to be, and personality does tend to matter a lot more, even to people who say it doesn't. I was just somewhat surprised, as I could find little basis for such an opinion.

[Partof1]

Agh, so close. My school put together this game where girls try not to talk to guys, so that took away most of my opportunity, and at the end of the day, just as I was about to ask her, some dumbass started chasing her, stuff like that is common in my school. My chance was taken , but tommorrow's another day.

[Nevrmore]

I hate the world and everyone in it.

That is all.

[The Rose Dragon]

I think I'm on the world, rather than in it. In fact, I am somewhat (four stories) above it.

Would it be an insult to your secrecy to ask "what the hell?"?

[Coidzor]

BUT this particular boy is NOT a nerd. He is a cute cute cutie. And far from nerdy. so wouldnt these things not apply...?

I love bad personality traits. i love them more than good personality traits. Dont judge me, I know that sounds crazy, but finding out peoples imperfections interests me...and in romantic situations, bad traits are pretty much a turn-on. (uhh hence the falling for the wrong people bit.) And I've never known how to just get over it. Im a wimp gr

Well, it seems your problem is one of self control and being in need of psychiatric evaluation for only desiring things you judge to be bad out of your potential mates.

Anyway, nerd and physically attractive are not mutually exclusive, in any event, we were fishing for information.

You don't want to like him and are certain that you'll be met with foiled plans if you did? Make a play for him then, and get it out of the way early rather than shirking from the thought of pining away due to enforced lack of contact until he's bleached from your mind. Either you'll be pleasantly surprised or you'll get it out of the way early enough on.

Agh, so close. My school put together this game where girls try not to talk to guys, so that took away most of my opportunity, and at the end of the day, just as I was about to ask her, some dumbass started chasing her, stuff like that is common in my school. My chance was taken , but tommorrow's another day.

...Your actual school? Or the apes that go there?

If the former, do they have some kind of religiously motivated hatred of courtship rituals?

Sounds like you should have stepped up there, then, and kept her from being chased, or at least made sure you were the one as caught her.

[Partof1]

No, it wasn't to annoy me, or anything, its just wht her group of friends doe. I didn't really get the chance to stop them, as the were behind both of us, and I couldn't chase her myself because I had to catch my bus and she was going to badminton tryouts. But again, tomorrow's another day.

[Felixaar]

I hate the world and everyone in it.

That is all.

I'm going to PM you, but I think we could all use a little more elaboration.

Partof1, keep trying!

[skywalker]

No, it wasn't to annoy me, or anything, its just wht her group of friends doe. I didn't really get the chance to stop them, as the were behind both of us, and I couldn't chase her myself because I had to catch my bus and she was going to badminton tryouts. But again, tomorrow's another day.

Badminton tryouts.

Now, I'm not saying this is the case in your situation, but this bizarre kind of thing reminds me: Once upon a time, a classmate told myself and a friend that he would be taking his girlfriend to a particular concert, thinking (I guess?) that I would only see him with her, and not speak to them. Upon seeing them at the concert, I asked "Hey man, is this your girlfriend?!" The girl, horrified, frantically shook her head "no," as he replied, "No, no... She had... An emergency... Volleyball Tournament."

That's right my friends. She had an emergency tournament. I'm pretty sure they plan those things in advance. Needless to say, I doubted the veracity of his statement.

[Jae]

Jae, we're giving you go for it advice because we think you should go for it, hun believe me, if you don't you'll only end up regretting it [/strange prophecy]

I don't think I'll regret it. If nothing else, he's fun to talk to without complicating things by "going for it"

Thanks for the compliments but this

Honestly, I don't think you're that attractive. But most others do, and they must know something, right?

is what I mostly agree with. even though the rest of that post is confusing im still pretty sure this was directed at me.

And my personality is worse than my looks lol so sadface.

You don't want to like him and are certain that you'll be met with foiled plans if you did? Make a play for him then, and get it out of the way early rather than shirking from the thought of pining away due to enforced lack of contact until he's bleached from your mind. Either you'll be pleasantly surprised or you'll get it out of the way early enough on.

Pretty much that is brilliant beyond brilliant advice. If I get the guts I'll be doing this.

also uhhh as an update we're hanging out next weekend because Im DUMB haha. But this is okay because the more we talk the more I think I'd like to make a friend of this boy so if nothing else I'll enjoy his company. Uhh and Im not going for anything because I know he likes this other girl and Im not evil.

[The Rose Dragon]

Come on! You gotta do something! For all us miserable lonely single ugly boys out there!

I think we're limited to pretty much one person, i.e. me. But still, do it for us!

[Ninja Chocobo]

Come on! You gotta do something! For all us miserable lonely single ugly boys out there!

I think we're limited to pretty much one person, i.e. me. But still, do it for us!

Nice to see my appeal being noticed, I guess.

[Crispy Dave]

ok so the girl most of you read about is now dating me. And she read my latest blog post(no copypasta read my blog) And well ya. did I rush things? I am very worried I rushed things and things won't work out.

[Alarra]

Yes. I think you rushed things. Judging from your last posts you've been dating this girl...less than a week at the very most, right? (the forums are being too screwy for it to actually let me go back and check) And you're young, only 15, if I recall. Most girls in high school aren't ready for that kind of feeling, especially after dating for so little amount of time.

When I was 15, I started dating a guy and about 2 weeks into our relationship he was writing me poety, giving me flowers, telling me how in love with me he was and that he wanted to spend his life with me...it was way too much way too fast and I ran.

Now, that's not to say that there aren't some girls that might be ready for that kind of commitment and feeling at that age and stage, but most aren't. And I will give you props for being so open about your feelings, since a lot of guys, especially high school guys, aren't. But I'm sorry, but it would not surprise me if this did not work out in the way you hope.

[CrimsonAngel]

ok so the girl most of you read about is now dating me. And she read my latest blog post(no copypasta read my blog) And well ya. did I rush things? I am very worried I rushed things and things won't work out.

Yyyyyyyeeeaaaaaah. You rushed it a bit.

[Crispy Dave]

the thing is she didn't freak out. We had the fuzziest conversation of my life.

[Partof1]

Well, I'm progressing alright. I don't have a dae planned, but I've voiced the idea.:) She said she was busy this weekend, and thought its the standard way to avoid "no", I belive her. In the past, she's always seemed to have plans, and I'm sure she respects me enough to at least say if she didn't want to. At the moment, we're just talking a bit, but again, I just asked her out like yesterday.

[CrimsonAngel]

im not sure what giraffe means really BUT I do know I am not one due to the fact that giraffes are tall and I'm undeniably tiny. shortshortshort.

Ok.

I know NOTHING of World of War Craft.

That's nice.

I am NOT not Not nOt hot. never.

totaly are.

I am myself.

Awsome.

I am stupid and awkward

o_e

I have been known to be into nerd boys.

Awsome.

[Felixaar]

Dave, what Alarra said. But, nothing you can do about it now. Good luck.

Partof1, Good luck man. I hope you are right when you think that it was not just a cover and rather a legitimate excuse.

[Syka]

If you are both fine with it, then you didn't rush it. If one of you ISN'T fine with it, you did.

Plenty would have called 3 weeks (when Oz said it) rushing it, but for us it wasn't. Partially it depends on how much discussion/time has been spent together, etc. Like, if people have been dating a month but only had 3 dates with little conversation in between, I'd be inclined to say rushing it. If a couple has been dating a week or so but talking a significant amount of that time, I'd be more hesitant to say they were rushing it.

At 15 love and infatuation is easy to mix up, but love isn't impossible. Just unlikely this soon.

[Felixaar]

At 15 love and infatuation is easy to mix up, but love isn't impossible. Just unlikely this soon.

*nods* listen to Syka.

[Coidzor]

I know he likes this other girl and Im not evil.

Hmm, I just don't see how that's evil at all to make a play for someone who has some level of attraction for someone else. Now, say, if one of your friends is making a play for someone and you say intercept and one-up them or what have you, that'd be more evil.

And rejection would've been all the better for my insidiously, calculatingly neutral plan for you to get everything out of the way by just making a failed attempt to woo him.

Friend bin works good too though, I suppose.