Who is Cultist-chan?

[onasuma]

Why don't Chaos and the Imperium all just make amends and form a tag team to conquer the galaxy? Everyone would convert just so they can suck up to the -chans.

Because chaos are trying to warp the minds of everyone and so are the imperium.

Also, men have little barganing power vs. Gods

[Lord of Rapture]

Because chaos are trying to warp the minds of everyone and so are the imperium.

Also, men have little barganing power vs. Gods

CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! would like to have a word with you, heretic.

Nothing can stand the wrath of THE DIVINE PERSONIFICATION OF THE EMPEROR'S WILL!

[arguskos]

Nothing can stand the wrath of THE DIVINE PERSONIFICATION OF THE EMPEROR'S WILL!

Not to get overly technical, but wouldn't that be, I dunno, THE EMPEROR?

[Drascin]

Everyone loves Noh. It's just an egregiously cute story.

I'm not a channer, but I think I read part of that one somewhere. Was that the story where a party of adventurers basically adopt a little girl and raise her? I would like to read the full story sometime.

[Keris]

The story of Noh, courtesy of 1d4chan:

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My group was in a dungeon where, unbeknownst to them, they were being tested by the spiritual forces that resided within, in order to see if they were worthy of... bla bla bla, the same old shtick.

They find a secret door, and inside is a pedestal with a highly ornate and obviously magical rapier (which two of the characters used), resting upon a similarly ornate/magical chain shirt that the two other characters used.

Next to them, a young girl, with a blank expression, simply requests, "Please do not take these items." Of course, my players didn't want to pass up such great items, but they knew that something bad would happen if they just took them, they decided they needed more information before they could make a decision. Pretty standard method of action. And, the only way they could get more information was from the girl.

I didn't want to spoil everything, and more importantly I wanted this to just be a short test so we could go on to the next part. Also, since she was just the physical manifestation of a minor spiritual entity, she didn't need to do any more than fufill her task as a test giver. So, I decided she would be like a NPC from a videogame. She would only respond with "No" or, if a negative answer would confuse the players or the players decided to get crafty and ask something like "Can we NOT take these items?", she would simply reply "Please do not take these items."

The conversation was pretty much:
P1: Can you tell us about these items?
DM: No.
P2: Can we ask your name?"
DM: No.
P1: What are you doing here?
DM: No.
P3: Are these items important to you?
DM: Please do not take these items.

The players kept at it for a few minutes, until the bard decided to use a perform check to "Awaken her dormant soul etc." and rolled a 19. As such, I decided I might as well say that she shed a single tear.

At this point, my players could no longer stand it. And they ended up doing something I was completely unprepared for.

One of them scooped her up, put her on his shoulder, and decided they were going to take her. They quickly began to argue as to which one of them was going to carry her, completely ignoring the amazing magical items less than an arm's reach away, and talking about how she was the cutest thing in the entire world. They decided to name her "Noh", since it was what she replied when asked her name.

They then carried her through the dungeon, risking themselves many times in order to keep/protect her. After the third time she slowly walked back towards the items when she was left alone during a battle (accompanied each time with each player screaming her name), they decided to go back, put the items on her, and then continue carrying her around.

I had added this whole test as a bit of a side thing, and didn't know what to do. At the completion of the whole thing, their reward was to have a spirit bound to one of their magic items, corresponding with what virtues they exhibited the most through out the dungeon. As a bit of a side bonus (since she was practically a construct anyway), I decided that a spirit would also be bound to Noh, but the complete binding would take some time, and that the players would be able to take her out of the dungeon. My players were so happy, and they concluded that along with the rest of the adventure (which they seemed to enjoy), this was the best session they've had in years.

I feel bad.

There are two different endings (Good End and Bad End) to the story, which I believe were added at a later date. They can be found here.

[Cultist-chan's] original appearence is here

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/HS40K

Bzzt! She originally appeared in a sketch by Mr. Culexus, and was then used as a character in the HS40K story.
This is the original pic:

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[SurlySeraph]

Why don't Chaos and the Imperium all just make amends and form a tag team to conquer the galaxy? Everyone would convert just so they can suck up to the -chans.

Hm, I have no strong objections to that in concept. Let's check what it registers on the Heresy Meter.



Wow. I... I think I'm supposed to call the Inquisition on you now.

[chiasaur11]

Hm, I have no strong objections to that in concept. Let's check what it registers on the Heresy Meter.



Wow. I... I think I'm supposed to call the Inquisition on you now.

So, this this the regular Inquisition, or...

the less expected Inquisition?

[Stormthorn]

Well now everyone expects the unexpected inquisition. Kinda like how Luck propably isnt fooled by you calling The Scottish Play that instead of its name.

[chiasaur11]

Well now everyone expects the unexpected inquisition. Kinda like how Luck propably isnt fooled by you calling The Scottish Play that instead of its name.

The Lady is very capricious, true, but she's a sucker for certain observances of form.

Also, you said her name. Way to be jinxed for life, chump.

[Ganurath]

Hm, I have no strong objections to that in concept. Let's check what it registers on the Heresy Meter.



Wow. I... I think I'm supposed to call the Inquisition on you now.

No, you do that when the meter snaps. That's vigilante hammer smiting, there.

[chiasaur11]

No, you do that when the meter snaps. That's vigilante hammer smiting, there.

And comissarial smitings start at -1 and continue until moral improves, right?

Of course, Saint Cain only smites at Heresy, but he's always been an odd one. Still, he gets results.

[KilltheToy]

Hm, I have no strong objections to that in concept. Let's check what it registers on the Heresy Meter.



Wow. I... I think I'm supposed to call the Inquisition on you now.

Hah. Everyone knows that thing is broken. It should be about 7 or 8 ticks back, at "send on suicidal mission"

[Tam_OConnor]

...I can't take it; can't breathe...
*gasping cackles* *thud*
.
.
.
.
Blood for the blood god!
Skulls for the skull throne!
Brains for the appetizer tray!

[Lord of Rapture]

Hm, I have no strong objections to that in concept. Let's check what it registers on the Heresy Meter.



Wow. I... I think I'm supposed to call the Inquisition on you now.

Just as planned.