The Chronicles of Estra - The Webcomic - Updated 06/04/09 - Comic #0008 now available

[memnarch]

Hm, what just happened? Seriously, the comic seems rather confusing. The Hero Tournament wasn't too bad, but the prologue and IV(?) act were.

[Blayze]

Damn, thought I was doing well. What are the most confusing parts for you, Memnarch? Might need to go back and edit stuff if you say "Everything". :P

[memnarch]

I'll see if I can pick specific things out.

[memnarch]

Well, the first thing is the fact that the story

1. Started out in space with Earth getting invaded.
2. The next act is act III, which is usually Roman Numerals for 3, leaving me wondering where acts 1 and 2 are.
3. Then act VI (6) starts meaning acts 4 and 5 are missing.
4. It also starts with a trapped super magic user apparently.
5. {next comic} Five years later from what?
6. Wait, what? Are we back in space now or something?
7. Hey, wait a minute; wasn't that black hair, white outline woman just in the magic.... side story? whatever act 3 was.
8. And she's now in space for some reason too.
9. Random blueshirt Scrayal Elerin
10. Previous count was either 4 or 6, but it's now 5.5. Which makes no sense as someone/thing is either dead or alive. Or undead. (nothing can be half-dead)
11. Random pink hair lady is shown getting killed by "elves".
12. Back to blueshirt Elerin, who is getting mindwiped for some unknown reason.

Bolded is level of confusion.

• Number 1 is odd, because the 3rd act is magic and on a planet. Or maybe it's that the third act that should be listed because it doesn't really fit with the other "in space" acts. moderate
• Numbers 2 and 3 are the act numbers and the missing acts. minor/major, depending on what's missing.
• Number 4 is the one page not that much explanation. minor
• Number 5; the time skip from an unknown time. Right now, seemingly whatever time #4 is taking place in. minor to moderate
• Number 6 is the rough, no transition between land-magic story and space-invention/magic story. moderate
• Numbers 7 and 8; ok, this person is in this story as well, but no explanation why. minor to moderate, depending on future comics.
• Numbers 9 and 11 are odd in the fact that I, as a reader, don't know who they are or why I should really care that they are part of the story. In pink-hair's case, killed by some monster thing called an "elf". moderate
• Number 10; kill counter is a random artifact in the comic text boxes, but it doesn't seem consistent. minor
• Number 12 is the blue shirt apparently getting some mysterious background. I'm not sure why I should be worried that his allies are going to be mad at him. minor

Also, a just-bugs-me; the sizes of weapons seem a little small. Try making them bigger.


I tried to be complete and I hope it doesn't seem too harsh.
Some sort of plot-hook, if you will, to draw the reader in would be nice.

[Blayze]

* Number 1 is odd, because the 3rd act is magic and on a planet. Or maybe it's that the third act that should be listed because it doesn't really fit with the other "in space" acts. moderate

Noted. I'll get back to the Prologue and show planetfall.

* Numbers 2 and 3 are the act numbers and the missing acts. minor/major, depending on what's missing.

Ah. Once I've finished the Prologue -- shouldn't be much more of that, I don't think -- I'll start with Act I. Act IV follows on directly from Act III, so I can't start that yet.

* Number 4 is the one page not that much explanation. minor

I'll stick another comic in there showing what happens directly after she gets out -- as well as a bit of flashback on her part. It won't explain much without Acts 3-5 concluding, but still...

* Number 5; the time skip from an unknown time. Right now, seemingly whatever time #4 is taking place in. minor to moderate

I'll edit the text to explain further.

* Number 6 is the rough, no transition between land-magic story and space-invention/magic story. moderate

This is one I can honestly say will become evident very soon. I think I'll make a "silent" comic (Well, except for captions explaining stuff as in "Where are they now?") before the next part of Act 6.

* Numbers 7 and 8; ok, this person is in this story as well, but no explanation why. minor to moderate, depending on future comics.

Well, she's not the same person as in Act III -- for starters, the Act III character is a man. :P I'll be more careful about including characters who look similar in the future. On a related note, I need to get some more hairstyles for my characters.

* Numbers 9 and 11 are odd in the fact that I, as a reader, don't know who they are or why I should really care that they are part of the story. In pink-hair's case, killed by some monster thing called an "elf". moderate

Hmm. Looks like time for more characterisation, if only through flashbacks.

* Number 10; kill counter is a random artifact in the comic text boxes, but it doesn't seem consistent. minor

It might not seem it, but it *is* consistent -- especially when you consider that 5.5 means either one person is dead and the other is half-dead, or that both of them are three-quarters dead. ;)

* Number 12 is the blue shirt apparently getting some mysterious background. I'm not sure why I should be worried that his allies are going to be mad at him. minor

This is another point I can safely say will be explained soon, although in hindsight I could have done it better.

Thanks for the information, Memnarch! Time to start adding some stuff into the comic to make it make more sense. :)

[memnarch]

Ah. Once I've finished the Prologue -- shouldn't be much more of that, I don't think -- I'll start with Act I. Act IV follows on directly from Act III, so I can't start that yet.

Ok, more explanation is good. But now I'm wondering "Why did you start Acts 3 and 6 before finishing the prologue?"

I'll stick another comic in there showing what happens directly after she gets out -- as well as a bit of flashback on her part. It won't explain much without Acts 3-5 concluding, but still...

A good reason why comics tend to be written in chronological order.

I'll edit the text to explain further.

Just remember; wall-o-text isn't a good thing for a comic.

Well, she's not the same person as in Act III -- for starters, the Act III character is a man. :P I'll be more careful about including characters who look similar in the future. On a related note, I need to get some more hairstyles for my characters.

Oh. Well, more hairstyles and clothing colours will certainly help.

It might not seem it, but it *is* consistent -- especially when you consider that 5.5 means either one person is dead and the other is half-dead, or that both of them are three-quarters dead. ;)

Still makes no sense to me as something cannot be half dead, much less three-quarters dead.

Thanks for the information, Memnarch! Time to start adding some stuff into the comic to make it make more sense. :)

Quite welcome.

[Blayze]

But now I'm wondering "Why did you start Acts 3 and 6 before finishing the prologue?"

I started Act III because it was the one I knew the most about, it being the one I had the most content for. I started Act VI because I didn't have access to my Act III files -- most notably the template file where I store all my Inkscape, well, templates -- for a while.

Just remember; wall-o-text isn't a good thing for a comic.

Should only require the tweaking of a couple of sentences here and there. :P

Still makes no sense to me as something cannot be half dead, much less three-quarters dead.

It's a play on words. At least around here, "half-dead" is a term used to describe a feeling of extreme tiredness. I just gave it a numerical value and used it in a literal sense -- put simply, I tried to Discworld it and failed. :P

[memnarch]

I started Act III because it was the one I knew the most about, it being the one I had the most content for. I started Act VI because I didn't have access to my Act III files -- most notably the template file where I store all my Inkscape, well, templates -- for a while.

Ah. Ok then.

It's a play on words. At least around here, "half-dead" is a term used to describe a feeling of extreme tiredness. I just gave it a numerical value and used it in a literal sense -- put simply, I tried to Discworld it and failed. :P

Ah.... sorry then.

[Blayze]

Time to finish the Prologue off. Once that's done I'll move onto Act I and then II -- "Rise of the Council" and "The Mage War" respectively.

-Prologue: Flight of the Vigilant-
Comic #0006 -- Planetfail

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I lowered the font size from 12 to 8. Is it too small? If so, I'll increase it to 10 and see how that works.

Edit: Increased font size to 10. That better?

[CrimsonAngel]

to small.

[memnarch]

If you're thinking 12 is the default size on inkscape... it not. 22 is.

So.... maybe you should try 14 or 16.

That out of the way on darker coloured backgrounds, like the magenta one, try using white so it's easier to read.

[Blayze]

Even 12 was too small? Seriously? Damn. Any larger and it'll feel like I'm writing a book, the text bubbles will be that big.

[Szilard]

I can read it just fine, I don't see everyone elses' problem.

[memnarch]

I can read it as well, but it's a bit small. Mostly it's the choice of box colour that's the problem.

[Blayze]

Changed the colours of the text boxes to brighter ones. Does the text show up better?

[memnarch]

Oh yah. Lots better.

[Blayze]

The Captain has his moments. Let's hope the next one doesn't happen in-between bounts of up-chucking.


-Prologue: Flight of the Vigilant-
Comic #0007 -- Naming Convention

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Since the Prologue's finished, the next part of the story I'll work on is Act I. If I can get Zweanslord's permission to use the comics he drew for me, I can post them and skip a small portion of the start of the Act in the process. :)

[Blayze]

I managed to get permission from Zwean today -- gotta love having a week off work -- so here's the start of Act I. Looking back on these, you can really see the difference between our respective skill and experience with Inkscape and drawing in general. :P

Comic #0000 -- Title

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Credit for outstanding work goes to Zweanslord for the following seven comics. :)

Comic #0001 -- His Full Name is Feargus the Fearful

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Comic #0002 -- Apply Boot Directly to Door

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Comic #0003 -- Don't Read From the Book!

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Comic #0004 -- Pandora's Spatial Disturbance

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Comic #0005 -- I'm the Captain, I Don't Need to Know!

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Comic #0006 -- Angry Faceship

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Comic #0007 -- Textdump Crits Alderaan for Massive Damage

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Now that's out of the way, you guys have a choice:

Option One: Rise of the Council.

I extend and focus on Act I and see how far that goes before Act II begins. There's very little action available with this option, but it's an arc revolving around understanding magic -- or at least, the assumptions and discoveries the characters make as they try to understand it -- so it might help answer some questions you might have.

Option Two: The Mage War.

I move directly to Act II and focus on that. This option has a lot more action, and it will certainly make the Death Counter go crazy. It'll explain different things to Option One, and should end up tying into Act III fairly easily.

[Szilard]

Option one sounds good.

[memnarch]

I like linear plots. I pick option one.

[Blayze]

The story is actually linear either way, it's just the order in which I get to stuff. :P

[memnarch]

Well i like reading the comic in a linear fashion. Flashbacks ok; flashbacks+flashforwards not so much.

[Blayze]

Let's get to it. Fiona, you're up.

-Act I-
Comic #0008 -- The Aftermath

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[Blayze]

Alert: The human refuse has recently collided with the cooling device. Repeat: The human refuse has recently collided with the cooling device.

-Act I-
Comic #0009 -- Arise, Fiona

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[Blayze]

Dual-purpose update time! Not only was it a guest comic, but it also serves to further the plot (Sort of). Incredible!

-Act I-
Comic #0010 -- Warp!

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Thanks again for my comic, Hacktor. :)

[Shadow_Elf]

Colour me confused. What exactly is going on? I went through the prologue, and Act 1, and I have no idea what is going on. There's spaceships, and backstory about alien deathstars, and villagers investigating cursed libraries and some crazy woman with magic being attacked by an assailant trying to prevent her from learning magic.

Did I miss something important?

By the way, I really like much of the art, and the jokes, especially the redshirts at the control panel one.

[Blayze]

Probably not. Guess I am better with stories than I am with comics. If I'm making it difficult to follow, should I just turn it into a story again?

[Hacktor]

it would be lovely :D

[Blayze]

It would appear that writing this stuff has become easier. Perhaps I'm getting used to a more standard way of writing, rather than the "I don't want to write 'he said' and 'she said' any more" style I resorted to last time. Perhaps it's because I understand my characters better. Perhaps it's because I don't have to do much on-the-fly worldbuilding as part of the story, because I've already done most -- if not all -- of it beforehand.

Whatever the reason, here's a 'sneak peek' (So to speak) at what I've got written so far. I'll keep going until I've got enough for a book, then probably give it its own topic. I've been contemplating adding pictures. I think I will do.

There's likely going to be spelling errors in there. Despite my best efforts at correcting what mistakes I find, it's easier to find errors in someone else's work.

Oh, and the title? "Estra -- Kicking Fantasy in the Face". It'll do for now, but it was either that or "When Fantasy met Reality". Or possibly "Kryptonite for the Fantasy Genre".

Prologue
Chasing Shadows

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The shouts and cries of outrage echoed behind him in the dark, deserted streets. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how fast he ran, he could never seem to outpace his pursuers. Even attempting to lose them by ducking down alley after alley didn’t help; they always seemed to be right behind him. They sound familiar...

“There he is!” someone shouted as he dashed across a dimly lit plaza. “Get him!” With a collective roar that bordered on the bestial; what sounded like a thousand heavy footfalls added to the number already chasing him. He turned a corner, panic overwhelming him and freezing his feet to the floor as he realised his mistake.

Oh no, he thought. Not this place. Not again. The building was innocuous, clearly nothing special, but then again he knew that was the whole point. He tried to move his legs, but they wouldn’t respond. Come on! Work with me here! I can’t-

A heavy object suddenly collided with the back of his head, sending him flying to the ground like a puppet without strings. He crashed into the rough, cold, hard cobblestones face-first, a sudden sharp crunching noise – and accompanying painful snap – all the evidence he needed that his nose had just broken in a rather spectacular fashion. His lower body flew up and over as he performed a macabre somersault, landing with a painful thud on his back. A back that – mercifully – did not feel broken. Yet.

He had never bothered to look at his pursuers before, considering the mystery of their identities secondary to the rather more important matter of his continued breathing. Now, however, all he could do was stare. Lib? But he’s dead!

The crowd was identical in every way, the bodies of full-grown men but the faces of children – of one boy in particular. Blood streamed down each face from the right eye socket, completely devoid of its eye. The left side of each face bore a very familiar injury, crushed almost beyond recognition from the way the skull had caved in – he knew those injuries better than his own maladies – and each figure wore an expression of unrelenting hatred as they approached their prone victim.

“Lib! It’s Luja! Please!” Nothing. Not one flicker of sympathy or empathy. If anything, more hatred. Luja tried to struggle to his feet, only to discover he couldn’t move his body. He tilted his head to look at his body as best he could, wondering how his neck hadn’t broken during either the attack or the subsequent fall. At some point during the fall, his left arm had bent at an unnatural angle at the elbow, and the most he could get out of it was limited motion in his fingers.

His right arm was equally useless, reduced to a bloody stump somehow. His legs were no better, and witnessing their state killed off any hope he had for escape. His right leg had atrophied to the point where merely standing on it would be a miracle and risk breaking it, whereas his left leg was completely unusable.

A large bone protruded from the skin of his left shin, exposed to the cold night air. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but wonder where those injuries had come from. The broken arm and leg he could understand, but the others...

The blood slowly flowed out from his various injuries, as the many Libs approached with identical looks of sadistic glee and murderous hatred on their faces. “It wasn’t me!” he implored them. “Janan did it! He knocked me out! I didn’t kill you!” He was hysterical, tears running down his cheeks as gravity took hold. The tears mingled with the river of blood that had begun to form on the cobblestones, but barely diluted it.

“Luja...” the Libs chorused, the tone of their collective voice dripping with malice. He tensed, awaiting the torture that surely awaited him at the hands of this... this horde. This can’t be real! It must be an illusion! It has to be! Yet fear made him cringe more, and he struggled to breathe as the blood rose above his ears and flooded his eyes, nose and mouth.

He couldn’t see. He couldn’t breathe. He could hear – just – however, although he wished he couldn’t. His last memory was of that voice, that damnable voice...

“Why does everybody you know end up dead?”

Chapter I
The Wayward Soul

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(Excerpt)

Luja woke with a start, gasping for air heavily. What felt like his entire body was covered in sweat. He pushed himself into a sitting position instinctively, then realised that his limbs were intact. A dream, then? Feh. More like a nightmare. It was only then that he started to take notice of his surroundings, a stupid mistake – one only a novice would make, in fact. The old man would have my head if he knew. Luja managed a small grin.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He instantly reacted, pulling his dagger from its concealed sheath and – or rather, he would have done... had he been wearing clothes. Springing to his feet and grasping the first thing that he could get his hands on – in this case, an empty clay pitcher – to use as a weapon, he glanced around frantically in search of the source of the voice. All he saw was an old man sat on a simple wooden chair, sat at an equally simple wooden table, and a few clay containers of varying sizes and shapes on the table.

“Your clothes are drying over there,” he said, gesturing with a thumb to Luja’s right. The youth risked a momentary glance in that direction, then reached out for them with his free hand while keeping his attention on the old man and his grip firmly on his makeshift weapon. The old man appeared busy preparing a drink of some sort, but it always paid to be cautious.

Eyeing the old man warily, Luja worked his way through a mental checklist of all the poisons he knew of and if he also knew how to detect them. Pouring an off-yellow liquid into two, small wooden cups, the old man proffered one of them to the youth, closing the distance between them without hesitation despite the boy’s irrational behaviour and potential weapon.

Luja’s clothes were cold and wet, but using them to cover his groin from sight served the dual purpose of both protecting his modesty and preventing the old man from seeing far more of his body than he would have wanted to – or wanted him to, for that matter. He eyed the contents of the cup suspiciously, but reached out and took the cup with a cursory nod.

The old man returned to his seat, turning his attention to his own cup. He raised it to his mouth and tossed the contents back in one go. Reminds me of Jekkan, Luja thought. Wonder if they’re related? The old man glanced at the youth, and then poured himself another full cup of liquid.

“Now that I’ve done you the kindness of not letting you drown or freeze to death, mind telling me why you were in that river?” Luja averted his eyes, pretending to focus on his drink as the memories caught up with him. He had been stupid, casting in front of a Spellbreaker, but he had believed himself safe. That illusion – How ironic, he thought – had been swiftly shattered with but a touch, as the ‘Breaker had put an arm around his shoulders.

He had played the drunk very effectively, and those around them had believed it to be nothing more than the antics of an affectionate but harmless drunk. Luja hadn’t been convinced. The knife pressed against his spine might have had something to do with it, as might the horrific feeling of suddenly being incapable of casting as his body’s natural mana left him in an instant.

Passers-by had dismissed Luja’s sudden bout of physical weakness as evidence of drunkenness. If his ‘companion’ was anything to go by, the two of them had enjoyed their fill of alcohol in these tough economic times. He was helpless, incapable of alerting anybody to his plight by means either mundane or magical, the latter due to the ‘Breaker’s mere proximity and the former due to the promise of a knife-related death otherwise.

So Luja had remained silent and placid, waiting for his chance – a chance that came when a local prostitute had approached the pair, attempting to solicit some custom out of at least one of the ‘drunks’. His captor’s momentary distraction at being approached had allowed him the chance he needed to push away without the knife being a certain fixture in the back of his neck. He had hightailed it to the only way he could think of escaping – the river.

With no time to prepare any other means of transportation, Luja had plunged into the water and hoped for the best. The current had pulled him away from the village fast enough that when he needed to surface for air, he was far enough away that the ‘Breaker had most likely given up all hope of pursuit.

Then there had been that nightmare... I thought I was over this!, he thought. Nothing’s going to bring him back, no point beating myself up over it. Still thinking about Lib, it took him what felt like an eternity to reply.

“I was trying to get to Giji for the Tournament. Went by river, just sorta slipped off the tree I was riding. Thanks for the rescue.” As lies went, it was a complete shambles. There was no way the old man was going to buy such a flimsy, poorly constructed lie. Indeed, the look of disbelief on the old man’s face was evidence enough. Yet he said nothing, merely nodded his head.

“Makes sense. I used to dream of going to see the Tournament as a lad. Finally got my chance a few years back.” The old man’s eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment, as he lost himself in his memory. “Of course, the eyes aren’t as good as they used to be... ah, but I ramble. Got yourself a good quality seat, I take it?” Despite himself, Luja could only grin.

“Spectate? Nah, I’m participating.”

The combination of shock and horror on the old man’s face made his day.

Yep, definitely better than my last attempt. I'm doing my best to keep the infodumps out of this, as they're what killed it last time. I may have done ten chapters, but most of that was waffle.