Survey: What to do with a loved ones remains

[Ryuuk]

As an assignment, I was asked to find out people's opinion about the final destination of a loved ones remains. If anyone could take their time to answer these questions, it would be greatly appreciated:

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?


2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?


3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?


4) Would you please state your country of residence?


Thanks in advance for your time.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

As an assignment, I was asked to find out people's opinion about the final destination of a loved ones remains. If anyone could take their time to answer these questions, it would be greatly appreciated:

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

This would be my preferred choice, both for loved ones and for myself.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

If a plot of land were unavailable, or too expensive, this would be acceptable, but not prefered.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I would not prefer this one, as the possibility of an accident involving the ashes would be too high. While the idea of still having grandma around is appealing, having to vacuum her up if the dog knocks over the urn while chasing the cat... lacks dignity. Same goes with small children wondering what's in that little box, or where to put the ashes when it's time to put up the Christmas Stockings, etc...

4) Would you please state your country of residence?


Thanks in advance for your time.

Alabama, United States of America.

Glad to be of help! Good Luck on your project!

[golentan]

My stance on all these can be summed up as "talk to the loved one beforehand and find their wishes." I am not opposed to any sort of funeral practice, ranging from traditional burial, to cremation, to ritual cannibalism.

My residence is in the United States, CA.

[Hell Puppi]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

It would depend on the loved one's wishes, but for most of my family this would be the first choice.


2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Erm, no, not unless they asked specifically for this. I'm not comfortable with churches and would like to make sure my loved one's remains were in good hands.


3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I would do this is they asked, but I'd feel more comfortable if they had somewhere that they'd like their ashes spread/placed. I'd worry about having to keep it around. Maybe I could load the ashes into shotgun shells?


4) Would you please state your country of residence?
USA

[Mewtarthio]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

It really depends on the loved one's request. This would not be my first choice, but I would respect his or her wishes if he or she explicitly requested burial.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

This would be my second choice, behind "cremation and scattering/spreading."

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

As others have said, leaving the ashes in such a vulnerable and busy place lacks dignity.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

USA (Texas).

[thubby]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

i think the absurd embalming process should be done away with. no, no

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

better than burial IMO. no, no.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

kind of creepy. it would be weird to have the corpse around, it being dust doesn't change much. no, i wouldn't want MY remains like that, but I would understand someone else wanting it.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

USA

[Mauve Shirt]

1) I'm fine with traditional burials, but I think it's better if the body is cremated before burial and the ashes are buried. Takes up less space.
2) Not opposed to that, it's entirely up to the person who died.
3) I've always thought that an urn is kind of creepy.
4) USA

[Felixaar]

Wait, you mean you... you... don't... eat people?

...Oh no.

OH NO!!

1) Traditional would be fine with me assuming my loved one had not made a prior statement that they would preferr something else, or lived a life/displayed a personality that meant a different burial would be better suited to them. In short, it'd be up to the loved one and if I had to guess I would, but traditional would probably take preference if there was no strong evidence in any direction.


2) Cremating would be a perfectly legitimate choice, but leaving the remains in a religious building or keeping them in the home would not be the thing I would do unless the loved one had specifically stated that was their wish. To me it reeks of an unwillingess to let go, I would preferr to scatter the loved ones remains in an appropriate location such as a favorite holiday spot or a beach.


3) As above.


4) Australia.

[SurlySeraph]

1) My first choice is traditional burial, though I would prefer a coffinless burial or burial with a biodegradable coffin.


2) It's a good second choice.


3) I'd say this is my last choice; keeping the ashes around strikes me as a bit creepy.


4) United States.

[Syka]

What my loved one wants trumps all. Amongst my family, donating our body to science and subsequent cremation is the preferred method of getting rid of the body.

Personally, I'm tempted to request in my will that my family cremate like, a hand or something, stick the urn on the mantle (or wherever) and anyone who wants to marry into the family has to talk to me...aka my urn. Mostly to see if it's someone who can handle kookiness.

My skeleton I want to go to a high school anatomy class.

The rest of me I want them to do with how they will in a manner that will benefit people- anything from med school to the Body Farm to just my organs being donated. My family is mostly of the same mind- do something good with it once we're gone.

I'm from Florida, USA.

[skywalker]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

This would be my first choice. It pollutes the least, and requires the least energy/expense if done right. All of my loved ones that I know of want to be buried, anyway.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

If this were the preferred choice of the loved one in question, then I would be for it. Personally speaking, it's not something I would ever think of. Not opposed, tho.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I'm less opposed than others seem to be in this thread. I think if grandma wanted to be kept around, she would probably be aware of the likelihood of an accident and have a good humor about it. Personally, tho, I'd be much happier spreading the ashes somewhere special. If it were part of the loved one's wishes, I'd do it. But I also think having that reminder around might keep me sad for longer after they died.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

Tennessee, USA

More specifically speaking, I think it's silly that we go through all these hoops trying to keep a body preserved. When we buried my maternal grandfather recently, the undertaker spent a good portion of time explaining to my father that the concrete vault would protect the steel casket imperviously, and that my grandfather's personal information had been put in a container separate from the casket, meaning that nobody would ever have to open the casket to see who was inside. I cringed as I listened to him because I was aware that no manner of interment can prevent decomposition. It can only change the way a body decomposes.

Personally I think it's silly and a little egotistical to fill the ground with metal and concrete boxes. Likewise to be burned releases toxic chemicals and requires a lot of energy. So I want to be buried unembalmed in a plain wood box. It's not like my body will care either way.

EDIT: Syka raised the interesting point of donating my body to science/organ donation. I'd love to be an organ donor, but I'd hate to put my family thru not having something around to memorialize/bury. And I'm completely against being preserved in any way. Basically, I wouldn't mind being an organ donor, but my body better go in the ground, with or without those organs.

[RS14]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I don't care for traditional burial. I might oppose it slightly---IIRC, coffins tend to interact poorly with the local environment, but I could be mistaken.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Cremation is widely available and reasonably practical. It would not be my first choice. If they wanted to be placed in a religious building, I would not oppose.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Again, cremation is reasonable, but would not be my first choice. I would not oppose it, but have no interest in saving the ash.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?
Thanks in advance for your time.

USA

[Felixaar]

EDIT: Syka raised the interesting point of donating my body to science/organ donation. I'd love to be an organ donor, but I'd hate to put my family thru not having something around to memorialize/bury. And I'm completely against being preserved in any way. Basically, I wouldn't mind being an organ donor, but my body better go in the ground, with or without those organs.

Dibs on the brain!

Out of curiosity, Ryuuk, will you be posting the results of the survey here? I'd be interested to read.

[InaVegt]

The funeral pyre!

No better way to give the final farewell than to burn their body along with their most priced possessions, so they are ready for the journey beyond.

Use the ashes to feed the trees, to make up for the trees you had to cut for the pyre.

[Kjata]

I find the funeral to be perhaps the strangest and most pointless tradition, but it has always existed and never experienced death, so I may be ignorant.

I from Washington, USA.

[Ichneumon]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I guess burial would be alright, but I wouldn't want it to be very religious and stuff. I'm not religious so I wouldn't want it to be filled with stuff I think isn't real like going to heaven and such. I would want the same for my loved one, except when she happens to be Christian as I would want to respect her view.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I am fine for cremating, but not so fine with placing it in a religious building, but if they wanted it I would accept it. You should respect the wishes of your loved ones.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I wouldn't want to take the ash home, it would seriously freak me out every time I look at it/the jar.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

The Netherlands, Europe.

[Quincunx]

1. Burial, in a non-denominational cemetery, is my family's habit. I am opposed if they died naturally/peacefully and (to be assumed for all answers) if I have the decision-making rights. If they had a wrongful death, let their bodies be preserved should the cold case be re-opened. Ash is harder to analyze. This is not my first choice. In the case of natural death, I am opposed.

1.5. Organ donation is dependent upon the country of death and the origin of the family member. If they died in their country of origin, I'd agree to it, unless they've forbidden it--and several have. Ditto leaving the body to science. Instead of being a whole cadaver, I should look into preferential donation of body parts to specific disease research--they have more stringent demands of their donated tissue. Syka, have you got any leads on that particularly?

2. This is my husband's funeral wish. This is not my first choice. In the case of wrongful death, I am opposed.

3. I would never take ashes home. If someone requested they be scattered in a meaningful location, I would do so. If someone wanted their ashes transmuted to a jewel, and then taken home, I would do so, and keep that hidden and safe. This is not my first choice. I am opposed to taking the ashes home, to the point of overriding the wishes of the deceased.

4. Native of the USA, living abroad.

[Canadian]

I say burn em' up. The whole burial thing takes up a lot of real estate.

I'd put em' wherever they wanted to go.

I'm Canadian... Eh...

[Agamid]

1) While the traditional burial has a kind of romance about it (and i love graveyards) i feel them to be a waste of money and space. but if it's was in their will and there was sufficient money, then sure, i won't appose.


2) All of my grandparents have opted for cremation and then for their remains to be placed within a religious building. i'd only object to this if it weren't in their will and i knew them not to be religious (or the building was not of their particular religion).


3) This is my first option. only i'd take the ashes home and then scatter them somewhere that meant something to them. Of course, if in their will they wanted their ashes to simply be kept in the family home, well, while i'm not altogether comfortable with the idea, it's their decision and i'd honour it.


4) Australia


on organ donation: unless it is specifically stated in their will that they did not want to donate any part of their body, then i say take what you need, they (or I) won't been needing it anymore. As long as there's enough left for some ashes to be scattered.

[Copacetic]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
Either way. Depends on their wishes. No.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
Like having a corpse on display. No. Yes.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
Creppy. No. Yes.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?
Usa.

Personally, I want to be tossed unceremoniously in a two foot hole in the ground And left to rot.

[Hell Puppi]

Sorry to distract from the questions, but I found this to be interesting:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16858...dead-body.html


You can donate your body to science, or even to a body farm. There are lots of options, though I think most of these questions deal with a loved one's remains, in which case I think most of us would defer to said loved one's wishes.

[Syka]

Quin, no leads and I haven't actively looked into it, although I should. All I know is I basically just want my body to be a guinea pig. :) And skeleton to a high school class...'cause we had one and it was awesome to have a real skeleton to look at.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Well, it all depends on the loved one's wishes.

for example, I'd like my remains to be cremated and dumped out over the pacific ocean (Or just into from shore or the railings of a ship, whatever.).

Anyway:

My stance on Traditional Burial:

Well, okay. It wouldn't be my first choice (And indeed, would be my last.) I'd do it if the loved one asked for it.

Cremation and entrusting the Holy Ground:
Someone else would have to take care of the whole talking-to-the-curch thing, but this is perferable to interring the body so it can't decompose properly and return to the Earth.

Cremation and entrusting to the care of the family:
Too cruel to the beloved that has passed on.

Country of Residance:
Native and Citizen of the USA, living in Japan.

[Rutskarn]

I think that someone should be disposed of however they want, as long as it doesn't infringe on the sanitation or mental health of others.

Myself, I want my flesh to be boiled off and my skeleton wired into a badawesome pose. Complete with sword and shield.

[Hell Puppi]

I think that someone should be disposed of however they want, as long as it doesn't infringe on the sanitation or mental health of others.

Myself, I want my flesh to be boiled off and my skeleton wired into a badawesome pose. Complete with sword and shield.

Scott?

Oh no, wait, he wanted to made into a bone sword which I would then give to his children.
That was until we got to the rivalry phase where it was determined his children must defeat me after he fell in battle to my evil schemes.
Yeah. I can't tell if I have weird or awesome friends.

[BizzaroStormy]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
I think burial is very pointless. First of all, the casket costs far too much. Second, because of said casket and filling the corpse with preservatives, it takes the body ages to decompose. This results in the need for ever more land for cemeteries that could be use for more positive projects such as a shopping mall or playground. For my death, I would never choose this option at all and would definately be opposed.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
Cremation is more acceptable in my opinion, although small children would have a difficult time understanding why grandma came back from her vacation in an urn. As for the religious building, it seems like a good idea but then we soon run into the same problem that exist with cemeteries, running out of room. Eventually, they would have to either start dumping peoples' ashes, or spend the money to have another separate building constructed to house the newly deceased. I would be more likely to choose this option than the other two and would only be slightly opposed to the idea of being stored in a religious building (I'm an Atheist)

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?
Honestly, this option creeps me out. Kind like how someone loses a loved one then keeps their hand preserved in a jar on the mantle *shudder*. Frankly I believe that a person's ashes should be scattered ceremoniously in a location of their choosing. This would probably be my 2nd choice and im obviously opposed since if I were going to this, I'd rather be stuffed and put in a cool pose.


4) Would you please state your country of residence?
United States


For the record, I don't really like any of these choices. My preferred method of body disposal would be to push me out to sea in a burning boat.

[Coidzor]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

It's ok, but it's no longer practiced in my country. I don't go in for concrete vaults and caskets which are designed to last once in the ground. So if it were an option to put 'em in a pine-wood box with one corner knocked out at time of internment, then yeah, I'd go for it. As "traditional" burial stands today, I would be opposed.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Cremation is A-OK in my book. I am unfamiliar with any practice of leaving the remains in a religious building. This probably would not be an option for me in any case, and I would neither be opposed, nor choose this first.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

It is... Morbid. And opens the door to all kinds of emotional trauma if the ashes get tampered with or suffer some misfortune or misadventure. So this would not be my first choice, and I would have reservations but not be actively opposed to the idea.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

United States of America.

[Boo]

I think that someone should be disposed of however they want, as long as it doesn't infringe on the sanitation or mental health of others.

Myself, I want my flesh to be boiled off and my skeleton wired into a badawesome pose. Complete with sword and shield.

And off to the Science Centre we go!

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I don't mind it for loved ones, but it wouldn't be my first choice. I'll go into detail in a second.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Not religious. Well, not sure really, but I doubt I'd do this. As for loved ones, I'd only do it if they requested as such.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

No, no, no, no, no with a side of no.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

Canada





Okay, so I would never want myself to be cremated and put into a specific spot. Instead, I'd rather do something like this:

Funeral with myself in an open casket. I'd have strings attached to my arms, and head. Every five or ten minutes, the strings would pull my body into a sitting position, and I'd wave to the people attending my funeral.

When that's all done, and my body is being taken away, I'd like my body to be transported to a cremation oven, while a separate coffin is taken to a plot in a cemetery. People cry, etc. Maybe have some jazz music playing. Good jazz with a happy, fun rhythm.

My ashen remains will be placed inside an urn (just a cheap little thing, not one of those rip-off 'designer' urns) and be brought to LEGO. There, I'd wish myself to be poured into the plastic mixture so I can give joy to kids around the world, and also so I can travel (finally).

This will probably cost $30,000, but no more than that.

[Fawkes]

I request a satanic funeral!

[averagejoe]

1) What is your stance on a traditional burial for a loved one? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I'm not particularly against it, and I like that there's a marked spot to return to. It doesn't feel very personal, though, barring some large memorial placed atop the grave. Unless it's a family plot, it seems like dead people suburbia. That said, I wouldn't be opposed, but it wouldn't be my first choice either.

2) What is your stance on cremating and leaving a loved ones remains in a religious building? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

Again, I'm not particularly opposed, but I'm also not very familiar with any religious cremation rights, so I'd have to know more about the particular ceremony and such before making the opinion. I'd probably be somewhat opposed because I don't like the idea of an indoor funeral, and especially not in a public building.

3) What is your stance on cremating and taking a loved ones remains home? Would this be your first choice? Would you be opposed?

I might like to keep some remains, but I would rather scatter them, so taking them home wouldn't be my first choice, but I wouldn't be opposed to it. Again, I don't feel strongly about this; I would care more that the funeral itself is done properly.

4) Would you please state your country of residence?

America.