Twilight - Love it, or Hate it?

[Yulian]

Sir Stephen King, Ultimate Troll (Thanks, 1d4chan!)

I don't think it speaks very well of the fans of Twlight that the response often seems to consist of accusing Stephen King , who is, like him or hate, one of the most influential modern writers not just in horror, but in all of literature, of jealousy of what seems to be, quite frankly, a flash-in-the-pan like Meyers.

One can hardly overstate King's importance in the field of literature, both in terms of helping codify modern horror to a great extent, providing a great deal of inspiration to up-and-coming writers, encouraging them, and helping to get the public at large buying a great many more novels and anthologies than they might otherwise have done.

His philanthropic works have helped many, and he doesn't like to publicize that.

So many of his stories have lent iconic images and characters to popular culture in general. Who doesn't know the names Christine, Cujo, Pennywise, or Carrie?

I highly doubt, and this is speaking objectively, that in 20 years the public at large will have much of a clue who "Edward Cullen" or "Bella Swan" are. King is a giant, Meyers is a blip.

I will say again, I essentially read Twlight by accident. I was given a box of books a number of years back, that happened to be one of them. I burned through it in, I think, 2 days, and promptly forgot it until it became a "thing" and I recalled I had once read it.

Really, the relationship described in the novel does have all the hallmarks of a literal abusive relationship, yet it is portrayed in a positive light. What makes it reprehensible is the fact that this isn't done ironically, or even sadistically, but with total sincerity.

It's not even that the vampires are "different". There is no standard, after all, it's a literary monster that can change with the times and need of the author. Here, go look up The Vampire Diaries by LJ Smith. It's another young-adult vampire romance series.

In fact: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vampire_Diaries

There are some notable similarities between the two series. Guess which one was first published in 1991? It's probably just a coincidence, retreading the same ground and all.

But Meyers took it to an extreme seldom seen in a widely published author. She, in essence, neutered the concept. Which, given her background, makes perfect sense.

Honestly, I'm hoping there's an upcoming backlash against well...not to put too fine a point on it, "***** vampires". I found 30 Days of Night to be a breath of fresh air when they made a movie of it. Here were the long-forgotten, grave-crawling monstrosities so many cultures feared.

- Yulian
(Oh heck, go look up my username here and see what sort of vampires I like. Google the words "Yulian" and "Necroscope". My avatar is from the book series as well.)

[Flame of Anor]

Well, any self respecting musical has an exclamation point in the title.
I'm suddenly struck by the thought of calling it "Forks!" and giving it a mild country theme...

In Forks, they Spoons.

...and stalk each other.

[Yulian]

Remember, again that this entire ordeal was caused by the woman whose grasp of biology was lax enough to let her say that becoming a vampire gives you two extra chromesomes.

*Falls over laughing*

You know what else extra chromosomes gets you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome

BAAHAHAHAHAHHA!

It explains so much!

- Yulian

[Lord Seth]

Yugi: I only just realized, Pharaoh, but you haven't got a reflection. Is there something you're not telling me?

Yami: Yugi, I'm an ancient spirit living inside your body. Of course I don't have-

Yugi: Don't lie to me! You're a vampire, aren't you?

Yami: It's the middle of the day.

Yugi: Well, that proves nothing.

Yami: I never should have let you read Twilight.

Ah, Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged. How I love thee. (that was from Episode 32 for those curious)

[Hadrian_Emrys]

I like "Forks!"

My mom jokes that the series can be fixed by simply having the dumb cow wake up in a hospital, after the events of Breaking Dawn, only to learn that everything since the van was just a drug addled dream. She was actually hit on the head during that incident and had been in a chemically induced coma since.

[Cristo Meyers]

Issues of biology and relationships aside, why would anybody pretend to be a teenager and endure decades of high school when one could pose as a youngish-looking recent grad instead?

Well he does have this thing for watching young girls sleep apparently...

[Dirk Kris]

Creepy. And sparkly vampires, really? Give me a break.

Also, why is it remarkable that a 17-year-old girl wants to spend FOREVAH with her boyfriend? As far as I recall, EVERY 17-year-old girl is like that, whether her boyfriend is a vampire or not.

[Morty]

Okay, not that I'm ever going to read Twilight - not my type of literature and reading the first chapter of the first book made my teeth hurt - but can anyone explain the "sparkly" thing to me?

[Cristo Meyers]

Okay, not that I'm ever going to read Twilight - not my type of literature and reading the first chapter of the first book made my teeth hurt - but can anyone explain the "sparkly" thing to me?

Twi-vamps sparkle in the sun. They don't burn, don't even do anything, they just sparkle.

[Morty]

Twi-vamps sparkle in the sun. They don't burn, don't even do anything, they just sparkle.

Sparkle, as in become shiny and covered in tiny glistens of light?

[Cristo Meyers]

Sparkle, as in become shiny and covered in tiny glistens of light?

As in that, yeah. I believe it's described as diamond-like.

[Dirk Kris]

Think...disco ball.

[Linkavitch]

Hate. Vampires don't twinkle, and they're not angsty teenagers with hair that looks like they hung upside-down from somewhere and put on hair spray. They also aren't compulsed to eat people, they just do, 'cuz that's what they eat. Twilight seems to me to make them be addicted to human, and the one family is trying to break the addiction. It's like you and a hot dog.(asuming you're not a vegetarian.) You don't get hungry and find the nearest hot dog stand cuz you're addicted to hot dogs, It's cuz hot dogs are what you eat. Or tacos, or pizza or whatever.

[loopy]

Just going to quote my post from the relationship thread because its pretty much all relevant.

Just came from reading the Twilight thread. Figured out what is was about the books that repelled me so.

Basically, when a girl mentions that I remind them of Edward, or how much they like the Twilight series, they are saying to me "Look, here are a set of tools that you can use to manipulate me however you want*."

Now, I am a manipulative bastard, but still trying to be a 'good' guy at heart (albeit mainly for reasons of public image). I know many people who aren't as nice as me, who are gaining the exact same tools.

This is disturbing. Also, yes, I am a despicable human being. The most disturbing thing is that girls still keep falling for it.

* What a guy hears will also have something further attached: "...but be prepared to use and discard me because you will never match my idealised version unless you are willing to put the effort into changing my romantic perceptions or constantly lie through your teeth."

[Lord Seth]

Okay, not that I'm ever going to read Twilight - not my type of literature and reading the first chapter of the first book made my teeth hurt - but can anyone explain the "sparkly" thing to me?

Apparently, when vampires go into sunlight, rather than burn or anything like that, they just sparkle. Which is why they try to avoid it, as it would give them away or something.

Honestly, there have been so many renditions on vampires I'm a little perplexed as to why Twilight gets all the hate in that regard.

Of course, Dresden Files has my personal favorite take on vampires.

[Prime32]

This hasn't been mentioned yet? For shame...

[Cristo Meyers]

Actually, it was linked like a page ago

Of course, Dresden Files has my personal favorite take on vampires.

Everything from Nosferatu to Dracula to Anne Rice to World of Darkness all mashed together.

...the scary part, it works.

[loopy]

This hasn't been mentioned yet? For shame..

It had actually. Most of last page.

[Prime32]

It had actually. Most of last page.

These boards keep getting the last post I viewed wrong.

[H. Zee]

There is the crowning glory interview that sparked this whole search, that I have now lost, in which Rob starts in on the book and how it reads like Meyer's sick private fantasy and how much he dislikes the character he plays. I'm SO (=P) broken up over the loss of the link. It was the best laugh I'd had in a few days though.

I linked that particular interview on page... 3? I think? Of this thread.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

I linked that particular interview on page... 3? I think? Of this thread.

I know. It's just part of the mega post I had made on the another board last year.

[mangosta71]

This pretty well sums up my thoughts, even though it was written with a different intent.

[RabbitHoleLost]

I liked Twilight.

Now, before people start screaming at me and blaming my lack of Y chromosome, let me explain that I do acknowledge it as literary crap. However, I do believe a lot of the hatred of Twilight has less to do with its writing which leaves quite a bit to be desired, and more to do with the fact thirteen year old girls (and women who never really outgrew the desire for a perfect, dark, quiet, sophisticated man who dotes on them) obsess and set unreachable goals in terms of lovers.
And threaten to kill those who dare cross their fandom o.o

Its a bit like hormonal Narutards, in my opinion.

Anyways, I liked the book series when I read it on a basic level. When I gave into the little girl inside of me, and read it as a young, innocent child, the book was cute and interesting.
Of course, I know when to turn off the child and become my typical jaded to romance self, and know that there are no Edwards, and if there were, I wouldn't want them anyways.

I just find it a little trying to read men go "EL OH EL TWILIGHT SUCKS AND YUR STOOPUD"

[Hadrian_Emrys]

RabbitHoleLost: EL OH EL TWILIGHT SUCKS AND YUR STOOPUD

[Ganurath]

RabbitHoleLost: EL OH EL TWILIGHT SUCKS AND YUR STOOPUD

"Cero."

In all seriousness, I find myself agreeing with Rabbit. Twilight is alright reading material for the intended audience. It's just... really bad for most outside that demographic.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

The accursed series is the McDonald's of the literary world. It's quick, easy, and appeals to a large audiance. However, it is of a very poor quality and not even remotely good for you.

[PhoeKun]

Anyways, I liked the book series when I read it on a basic level. When I gave into the little girl inside of me, and read it as a young, innocent child, the book was cute and interesting.
Of course, I know when to turn off the child and become my typical jaded to romance self, and know that there are no Edwards, and if there were, I wouldn't want them anyways.

I miss having the ability to do that. You have no idea how much. But, alas, I pursued a degree in English. In writing, even. Creative writing. And I have that degree. I've learned a lot, and my writing has improved so much that I don't even recognize the scraps and scribblings from even four years ago as coming from me. It's weird.

And when I'm reading a legitimately good book, all that academia shines as brightly as a vampire in the sun (...apparently), and the subtleties I pick up on increase my enjoyment a thousandfold. But when I sit down to read something that I know on some inner, childish, or guilty level... and is otherwise tripe, all I can manage to see is tripe. All the more so because I've learned to take the lash to these things so that they don't appear in the stuff I write.

I read a lot less than I used to, now. There aren't that many books on the market I can enjoy. I'm worried I've lost touch with my inner child. At the very least, she doesn't come out when I'm reading. So... to anyone and everyone who recognizes that Twilight and its ilk are not well written, but can manage to not care about that and have fun: I'm so jealous of you.

Oh, and to the authors of these books? The ones without literary talent, who find success anyway because the majority of people buying books either don't know or don't care about such things? I loathe you. I despise you. I do not hate your books, but I am furious that you have written them. Take a long walk off a short pier, and bring your muse with you.

[Fan]

IF you can give it that, I equate it to more of the road side Carnival food of literature... Greasy, over hyped as far as the cotton candy (Edward) goes, liked by the younger groups who have NO idea what "Mole rat on a Stick" is, and is the literal crap of the food industry.

[DamnedIrishman]

I miss having the ability to do that. You have no idea how much. But, alas, I pursued a degree in English. In writing, even. Creative writing. And I have that degree. I've learned a lot, and my writing has improved so much that I don't even recognize the scraps and scribblings from even four years ago as coming from me. It's weird.

And when I'm reading a legitimately good book, all that academia shines as brightly as a vampire in the sun (...apparently), and the subtleties I pick up on increase my enjoyment a thousandfold. But when I sit down to read something that I know on some inner, childish, or guilty level... and is otherwise tripe, all I can manage to see is tripe. All the more so because I've learned to take the lash to these things so that they don't appear in the stuff I write.

I read a lot less than I used to, now. There aren't that many books on the market I can enjoy. I'm worried I've lost touch with my inner child. At the very least, she doesn't come out when I'm reading. So... to anyone and everyone who recognizes that Twilight and its ilk are not well written, but can manage to not care about that and have fun: I'm so jealous of you.

Oh, and to the authors of these books? The ones without literary talent, who find success anyway because the majority of people buying books either don't know or don't care about such things? I loathe you. I despise you. I do not hate your books, but I am furious that you have written them. Take a long walk off a short pier, and bring your muse with you.

I would suggest you read Peter Morwood's The Horse Lord, purely because it's one of the best-written books I have ever read. The plot is good too.
The main downside is that each of the two books which follow it are only half as good as their predessesor.

[Kane]

Further, as with Eragon, there's the complaint that kids are reading this thoroughly mediocre writing. (and that's being generous.) and forming conceptions about books in general. Not necessarily either the author's or reader's fault, but it still happens.