Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

[Silverraptor]

I'm not exactly comfortable with Lien being raped eight times, even if it's not explicit and only implied.

And I now find myself wondering if it's not going too far...

That makes 2 of us. I'm wondering whether I should go back and delete it. Should I?

[Dark Faun]

Well, I don't know. Water-Smurf's last update freely references rape for the simple reason it almost happened. I guess the difference is that it's not played up for laughs, and it succeeded. Eight times.

Maybe you should write a sequel; Kubota getting his just punishment in the Nine Hells. Hoisted by his own petard, except worse and for all eternity. Some kind of comeuppance will make the pill go down more easily.

[Silverraptor]

Ya. You won't believe how scared I feel right now.

So start voting. After the first 11, then I will decide whether to delete it or not.

[Meg]

Man, I get bored during the day. Well lets see how this one goes. And just for fun, I'll continue with Kazumi and Daigo. And I think that everyone of my stories from now on should be treated as a CR 17 on sanity. And the fine print on giving consent to read this also should apply. No suing for mental damages. Sorry.

Spoiler

Show

"Are you sure that's what happened?"

"According to them, it is."

"I bet Daigo's really sweating it."

"I'll bet. But he only got 4 more hours before the device is workable. Then I can remove the cursed belts off of them."

"Let's just hope the baby doesn't come between that time, or Daigo's going to have a new respect for the miracle of life. And if it does come at this time, imagine the confusion on mother's day."

"Yes, Hinjo. By the way, Kazumi informed me to bring these crates. She, or he, whatever, says that it's for Daigo's future safety."

"Who could blame her? Just put it there. In the meantime, stay close to them. It's a highly embarrasing situation and I don't want it getting out. It would destroy this nobility I constructed, and in return, ruin me. Beside, if the baby does want to come, you'll be right there by poor Daigo's side."

"You'd think that being a cleric, you'd be use to this stuff. But when your there for a person that was a guy and not months pregnant yesterday... I'm going to stop before I think of something I will regret...
...
..Dammit! I thought of it!"

"Just get out of here and go to the Kato's."

"Of course Lord Hinjo." The cleric turns and closes the door with a snap.

Hinjo collapses into a chair and puts his face in his hands. "Oh Daigo, what in the WORLD were you thinking?" He then realizes the answer immediately. "Wasn't even doing it in the first place. Twelve gods, I can't wait for this to be over."

His eyes slide to the crate of Kabuto's. "Well, I guess I'll keep rummaging through his things. Atleast I know not to activate any magical device of his." He gets up and rummages through the crate. "Let's see here..." Picks up a set of three books. "4.0 rules? Well I guess I could use these. They might come in handy later." Sets them down on his desks and continues to go through it. "How many of these gender-change belts does he have?! There's dozens in here!" He pushes them aside and spots a small book hidden under all the belts. He picks it up and looks at it closely.

"Hmmm... Kabuto's diary, huh? Well, let's see what he has in here."

He walks over to his desk, sits down, and begins to read through it.

"So he did assassinate his child, typical... Those ninja's were his! Ha! wait until the other nobles hear about this... And he was in league with the imp. Probably should explain why the imp disappeared when he died."

He flips through to when they went to their second ally requesting help and the first line caught his eye. "Wait, what is this?" He begins reading.

The diary's first line was... "I realized what I've been missing, since I've been after the throne, but I will get what I want when Hinjo leaves..."

************************
Lord Kabuto paces across his ship waiting. How long was it going to be before Hinjo leaves. At long last, the boats leave and set sail for land.

'Ah! Finally! Now where is she?'

Quickly, he spots a shark with a figure heading towards his ship. 'Excellent! Palaidn's are so gullible.'

--------
"Alright Kabuto I'm here! Where are you?" Calls out Lien as she climbs over the railing.

"I'm in here!" He calls out from his private room. "Come in if you want to talk to me." Lien quickly hurries into the room. "Please shut the door, this is private." She slams the door. "Now what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You know darn well what it is! I got your note and I came alone! Now as you say, your going to start confessing to everything you did, correct?!"

"There's no need to shout, and yes I will. But first, sit down." Lien sits in the chair in front of him. "May I offer you some wine?" He pulls out bottle and pours 2 glasses.

"Knowing you, it's probably tampered with, your just waiting for me to drink while you watch with your glass still full."

"What? Of course not." He takes a long drink, nearly draining the glass. "This is my favorite wine." He refills his glass and continues to take sips.

Seeing this, Lien cautiously reaches for her glass. She then takes a little sip, hoping the twelve gods would protect her if it was contaminated. What she tastes was the most delicious thing she could imagine. It wasn't long before she was on her third glass.

"So..." She says, "You going to start confessing?"

Kabuto smiles as she drinks her forth glass. "No, I'm not."

"What?"

"You didn't think I'd give up that easily did you?"

"Then why'd you lure me here under..." Her body starts to shake and she starts feeling very weak. "Wh-what did you do to me?!"

"Well, my dear. You were partially right, the drink was contaminated."

"B-But you drank f-fr-from i-it t-too..." She had trouble moving her lips. She couldn't even stand up.

"That's because I drank an anti-toxin a short while, not to mention I had my best cleric buff me against fortitude. However, you seem to have drunken too much of it. Your supposed to be able to talk."

The only reply was an angry groan from Lien, who couldn't move any part of her body. She just glared at Kabuto.

"Well, alright, since you asked so nicely. That was a special paralyzing poison I put in there. You won't be able to move for several hours."

Another groan came from Lien.

"Well you see my dear," he gets up. "My wife suffered a fatal illness a while ago, as you well know." He walks over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. Lien watches him as best she could. "Now, after that, I decided to try to take over the throne more intently. But those few times with her that I had were quite enjoyable." He puts his face right next to her ear. "And I want you to help me remember those lovely times I had with my wife in bed."

Lien's eye grew wide with fear. She was groaning loudly and started to tremble. Kabuto admired that her paladin powers was allowing her to atleast be able to shake. He then picked her up and move her over the the bed in the next room. "By the way, with some divination, I found that you aren't even a virgin. Excellent!" Lien cursed how her mother was always right about this stuff. He layed her down and started to pull up her shirt. Lien groaned even louder.

"Now don't worry my dear. We'll do this right the first time, then we'll reverse roles. I have some fashinable belts for us to try on after this..."

-----------------
"Remove curse!"

Lien's form turned back into that of a female as the belt broke off. She felt pain everywhere. Kabuto had not been gentle with her. She tried to speak, yet again, but her lips refused to move.

"Well, that certainly brought back good memories." Said a somewhat higher pitched voice. Lien looked at the female form of Kabuto.

"You next, sir. Remove curse!" Kabuto resumed back to his normal form.

"Ah, excellent. Hopefully, I won't have any urges for a while. I need to assassinate Hinjo soon."

Lien's eyes widen in surprise. Kabuto was stupid enough to say that out loud. Kabuto then seemed to realize his mistake and covered his mouth, quickly turning to Lien. She stared at him with a smug look. He couldn't imprison her because she was important to Hinjo. He'd notice if she disappeared.

Then Kabuto lowered his hand and smiled. "Oh, why am I worried? I was going to do this any ways. You have it prepared?"

"Yes sir. The specially researched one for you."

"Excellent! Now cast it on her."

Lien watched helplessly as the cleric put his hand on Lien's forehead. "Greater Sleep!" Lien's eye's instantly grew heavy, and she fell asleep in a couple seconds.

"Alright, now we'll be safe. Modify her memory so she doesn't remember any of this. And Heal her while your at it. So that when she wakes up, she doesn't feel the pain. I want to be able to get her the same way over and over."
**************

Hinjo looked at the last sentence in horror. He quickly scanned through the rest of the diary. Finaly he put the diary down ontop of his desk and prayed to the twelve gods.

Kabuto did this to her seven other times when they were at sea.

How's that for a squicky ending. If this doesn't make you lose your breakfast, lunch and dinner from yesterday, you seriously need major medical help.

And I must scream. And get therapy. And find my loved ones, and hold them close, and weep for the state of the world.

[Malkar Grumbo]

Man, I get bored during the day. Well lets see how this one goes. And just for fun, I'll continue with Kazumi and Daigo. And I think that everyone of my stories from now on should be treated as a CR 17 on sanity. And the fine print on giving consent to read this also should apply. No suing for mental damages. Sorry.

Spoiler

Show

"Are you sure that's what happened?"

"According to them, it is."

"I bet Daigo's really sweating it."

"I'll bet. But he only got 4 more hours before the device is workable. Then I can remove the cursed belts off of them."

"Let's just hope the baby doesn't come between that time, or Daigo's going to have a new respect for the miracle of life. And if it does come at this time, imagine the confusion on mother's day."

"Yes, Hinjo. By the way, Kazumi informed me to bring these crates. She, or he, whatever, says that it's for Daigo's future safety."

"Who could blame her? Just put it there. In the meantime, stay close to them. It's a highly embarrasing situation and I don't want it getting out. It would destroy this nobility I constructed, and in return, ruin me. Beside, if the baby does want to come, you'll be right there by poor Daigo's side."

"You'd think that being a cleric, you'd be use to this stuff. But when your there for a person that was a guy and not months pregnant yesterday... I'm going to stop before I think of something I will regret...
...
..Dammit! I thought of it!"

"Just get out of here and go to the Kato's."

"Of course Lord Hinjo." The cleric turns and closes the door with a snap.

Hinjo collapses into a chair and puts his face in his hands. "Oh Daigo, what in the WORLD were you thinking?" He then realizes the answer immediately. "Wasn't even doing it in the first place. Twelve gods, I can't wait for this to be over."

His eyes slide to the crate of Kabuto's. "Well, I guess I'll keep rummaging through his things. Atleast I know not to activate any magical device of his." He gets up and rummages through the crate. "Let's see here..." Picks up a set of three books. "4.0 rules? Well I guess I could use these. They might come in handy later." Sets them down on his desks and continues to go through it. "How many of these gender-change belts does he have?! There's dozens in here!" He pushes them aside and spots a small book hidden under all the belts. He picks it up and looks at it closely.

"Hmmm... Kabuto's diary, huh? Well, let's see what he has in here."

He walks over to his desk, sits down, and begins to read through it.

"So he did assassinate his child, typical... Those ninja's were his! Ha! wait until the other nobles hear about this... And he was in league with the imp. Probably should explain why the imp disappeared when he died."

He flips through to when they went to their second ally requesting help and the first line caught his eye. "Wait, what is this?" He begins reading.

The diary's first line was... "I realized what I've been missing, since I've been after the throne, but I will get what I want when Hinjo leaves..."

************************
Lord Kabuto paces across his ship waiting. How long was it going to be before Hinjo leaves. At long last, the boats leave and set sail for land.

'Ah! Finally! Now where is she?'

Quickly, he spots a shark with a figure heading towards his ship. 'Excellent! Palaidn's are so gullible.'

--------
"Alright Kabuto I'm here! Where are you?" Calls out Lien as she climbs over the railing.

"I'm in here!" He calls out from his private room. "Come in if you want to talk to me." Lien quickly hurries into the room. "Please shut the door, this is private." She slams the door. "Now what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You know darn well what it is! I got your note and I came alone! Now as you say, your going to start confessing to everything you did, correct?!"

"There's no need to shout, and yes I will. But first, sit down." Lien sits in the chair in front of him. "May I offer you some wine?" He pulls out bottle and pours 2 glasses.

"Knowing you, it's probably tampered with, your just waiting for me to drink while you watch with your glass still full."

"What? Of course not." He takes a long drink, nearly draining the glass. "This is my favorite wine." He refills his glass and continues to take sips.

Seeing this, Lien cautiously reaches for her glass. She then takes a little sip, hoping the twelve gods would protect her if it was contaminated. What she tastes was the most delicious thing she could imagine. It wasn't long before she was on her third glass.

"So..." She says, "You going to start confessing?"

Kabuto smiles as she drinks her forth glass. "No, I'm not."

"What?"

"You didn't think I'd give up that easily did you?"

"Then why'd you lure me here under..." Her body starts to shake and she starts feeling very weak. "Wh-what did you do to me?!"

"Well, my dear. You were partially right, the drink was contaminated."

"B-But you drank f-fr-from i-it t-too..." She had trouble moving her lips. She couldn't even stand up.

"That's because I drank an anti-toxin a short while, not to mention I had my best cleric buff me against fortitude. However, you seem to have drunken too much of it. Your supposed to be able to talk."

The only reply was an angry groan from Lien, who couldn't move any part of her body. She just glared at Kabuto.

"Well, alright, since you asked so nicely. That was a special paralyzing poison I put in there. You won't be able to move for several hours."

Another groan came from Lien.

"Well you see my dear," he gets up. "My wife suffered a fatal illness a while ago, as you well know." He walks over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. Lien watches him as best she could. "Now, after that, I decided to try to take over the throne more intently. But those few times with her that I had were quite enjoyable." He puts his face right next to her ear. "And I want you to help me remember those lovely times I had with my wife in bed."

Lien's eye grew wide with fear. She was groaning loudly and started to tremble. Kabuto admired that her paladin powers was allowing her to atleast be able to shake. He then picked her up and move her over the the bed in the next room. "By the way, with some divination, I found that you aren't even a virgin. Excellent!" Lien cursed how her mother was always right about this stuff. He layed her down and started to pull up her shirt. Lien groaned even louder.

"Now don't worry my dear. We'll do this right the first time, then we'll reverse roles. I have some fashinable belts for us to try on after this..."

-----------------
"Remove curse!"

Lien's form turned back into that of a female as the belt broke off. She felt pain everywhere. Kabuto had not been gentle with her. She tried to speak, yet again, but her lips refused to move.

"Well, that certainly brought back good memories." Said a somewhat higher pitched voice. Lien looked at the female form of Kabuto.

"You next, sir. Remove curse!" Kabuto resumed back to his normal form.

"Ah, excellent. Hopefully, I won't have any urges for a while. I need to assassinate Hinjo soon."

Lien's eyes widen in surprise. Kabuto was stupid enough to say that out loud. Kabuto then seemed to realize his mistake and covered his mouth, quickly turning to Lien. She stared at him with a smug look. He couldn't imprison her because she was important to Hinjo. He'd notice if she disappeared.

Then Kabuto lowered his hand and smiled. "Oh, why am I worried? I was going to do this any ways. You have it prepared?"

"Yes sir. The specially researched one for you."

"Excellent! Now cast it on her."

Lien watched helplessly as the cleric put his hand on Lien's forehead. "Greater Sleep!" Lien's eye's instantly grew heavy, and she fell asleep in a couple seconds.

"Alright, now we'll be safe. Modify her memory so she doesn't remember any of this. And Heal her while your at it. So that when she wakes up, she doesn't feel the pain. I want to be able to get her the same way over and over."
**************

Hinjo looked at the last sentence in horror. He quickly scanned through the rest of the diary. Finaly he put the diary down ontop of his desk and prayed to the twelve gods.

Kabuto did this to her seven other times when they were at sea.

How's that for a squicky ending. If this doesn't make you lose your breakfast, lunch and dinner from yesterday, you seriously need major medical help.

I have seen the face of horror, and it is crack fic, good job!

[Silverraptor]

And I must scream. And get therapy. And find my loved ones, and hold them close, and weep for the state of the world.

This isn't helping me feel any better.

[Dark Faun]

While it might be too much for the forums, it's certainly not for fanfiction.net. If you want to write an angsty story there about Lien learning about the tragedy and dealing with it, you're all set.

[Silverraptor]

While it might be too much for the forums, it's certainly not for fanfiction.net. If you want to write an angsty story there about Lien learning about the tragedy and dealing with it, you're all set.

But I don't *WANT* to! It makes me feel bad enough as is!

[Zanaril]

This isn't helping me feel any better.

I say trust your own judgement. Just as long as it's not played for laughs.

Also, you're currently making me feel bad about where I'm taking the VxHaerta story...

[Dark Faun]

Then it could be a good idea to write innocent crack pairings as penance and a way to make yourself feel less guilty and to make everyone forget the story as soon as possible.

I don't know, Qarr hitting on Lien or something.

And I agree with Zanaril. She's much wiser than me.

[Silverraptor]

Ok, this is my judgement talking. You all who have read it have the right to vote on wheter I should keep it or trash it.

Voting starts now and will last for 15 minutes. Any longer and I will have a severe stroak from indecision.

And if it so happens that the majority says to trash it, those who quoted it Must, I repeat, *MUST DELETE IT FROM THEIR POSTS*.

I'm sorry if I sound paranoid, but the truth is, I AM!!!!

[Zanaril]

I don't know, Qarr hitting on Lien or something.

!

*spurts mouthful of tea over computer screen*

Voting starts now and will last for 15 minutes. Any longer and I will have a severe stroak from indecision.

Keep it, and set it as bench mark regarding how far people are allowed to go.

[Meg]

Sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. In all truth, none of my loved ones would consent to being held while I weep. We're not a very huggy family.

Also, I say leave it up, but maybe attach a warning of some sort to it.

[Dark Faun]

!

*spurts mouthful of tea over computer screen*

Would you have preferred it the other way round?

Vote? I don't mind it, despite my initial reaction. As a matter of fact I shouldn't have said anything since I'm the main reason you're paranoid right now.

[Silverraptor]

Sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. In all truth, none of my loved ones would consent to being held while I weep. We're not a very huggy family.

Also, I say leave it up, but maybe attach a warning of some sort to it.

Going back to extra warning it. Good idea! I remember i did that to might most recent ones but I haven't done to this one. I just assumed that people know how bad I can be.

I forgot my most important leason.

NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!!!

I shall hate myself for days to come.

[Zanaril]

Would you have preferred it the other way round?

Vote? I don't mind it, despite my initial reaction. As a matter of fact I shouldn't have said anything since I'm the main reason you're paranoid right now.

The other way around, and the tea would have been comming out of my nose.

[Silverraptor]

Alright, I guess I'll close the polls. I put extra intensified warning over the story. Maybe people will thank me for that. They had sure better.

[Water-Smurf]

*scuttles in to put in two sense because she can't keep her mouth shut*

Rape's a sensitive topic. Most of us know that intellectually, but it takes a nudge for us to really know it. (My nudge came from someone who was actually willing to confess to me about her experience.)

Out-and-out rape should be treated as it is: serious and traumatic. I suggest trying to get a grasp on how its effects on people's psychs before trying to write about it. Don't be too hard on yourself about it--it's a topic that's rich for literature, but difficult to handle and powerful for both author and reader.

As long as you put a warning on it and you don't treat it as 'Rape is funny' (even when it's female-on-male, male-on-male, or female-on-female) or 'Rape=Love' (see last parenthesis), you should be fine. As long as you put an effort into treating it as it should be treated and warn people before they read, you shouldn't feel bad about it.

And thus ends my verbose lecture for the day.

[Alchemist Kren]

Oh right, Miko x Redcloak. Um... Quick question: What is the opposite of a Paladin? Like... what sort of classes fall into the "evil Paladin" category? I hate to mess up small details, and I'm trying to make sure this story makes SOME sense...

dark guard.3.5 edition players hand book

[Lycan 01]

I say leave it up, and we decide that is the line that shall not be crossed. I'll admit, it is a bit more disturbing than funny... But it shouldn't be deleted. Like I said, keep it, but let it be a lesson to all who would put darker themes in their stories.

Although I would love to see a karmatic justice sort of sequal. Oh! Oh! Kabuto and Ancient Black Dragon in the Afterlife! Mwah hah hah hah hah...


Dang, now I feel bad for my Blackwing x Mr. Scruffy story...


Oh, and as for what fics I read, I literally only read 2, and maybe skimmed another 2 or 3. I don't remember what they were, but my reaction summarizes my feelings on what reading the last... 7 or 8 pages would do to me.

[CoffeeIncluded]

To be honest, I think you took it too far with the last one. These crack pairings are supposed to make us laugh while looking for the brain bleach, not just...I just think you went too far with that one. There are some things that you just can't joke about, you know?

[Water-Smurf]

To be honest, I think you took it too far with the last one. These crack pairings are supposed to make us laugh while looking for the brain bleach, not just...I just think you went too far with that one. There are some things that you just can't joke about, you know?

Without trying to be rude, I don't think that writing, even crack pairings, can be restricted to 'just' something. (Hell, there are children's books about molestation, people overdosing on drugs, alcoholism, and Hiroshima.) Writing is a product of the mind and heart, no matter how flippant the author is. It's a glance into the soul, fleeting and convoluted though it may be.

A lot of these crack pairings are meant to be funny, but a lot of them aren't. I can tell you that I never had the intention of making the V/R story funny, and I actually went out of my way to make it so realistic that it wouldn't actually seem like crack. (I do the same with all my romance stories--they're harder and more fun to write that way.)

I don't think that there really is a line that can't be crossed in writing and literature. There are things that will get us mad, yeah. There are things that will make us uncomfortable. But there's never a line where you can't write over. That's the heart of freedom of speech.

(I'm sure you guys realize by now that I'm very long-winded when I'm talking/typing, so in a nutshell, I said 'I disagree.')

[Silverraptor]

All I can say is, I'm taking a vacation from here.

Maybe permanent...

[BatRobin]

Lien x Dorukan x Roy with Adultery.

[Water-Smurf]

All I can say is, I'm taking a vacation from here.

Maybe permanent...

Don't feel bad about writing something. It's not like none of us have referenced or included rape in fiction.

And look at the great conversation we're having for it! :D Who says that crack has to be all conversation about brain bleach?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Don't feel bad about it! We all do stuff like that sometimes. And I don't think any of us want you to leave!

And Water-Smurf, I guess you're right. I guess I went overboard (As usual.) Then again, you can probably tell that from my point of view I see this as a sort of improv exercise, only with writing instead of acting, and as a great source for potential comedy. Not that I don't think you can interpret it differently (Because I think the RedcloakxV is really good), but that's just how I like to "play the game".

Then again, ask any of my friends, and they'll say that I often do things because I think the results will be funny (As long as nobody gets hurt.)

[Silverraptor]

Don't feel bad about writing something. It's not like none of us have referenced or included rape in fiction.

And look at the great conversation we're having for it! :D Who says that crack has to be all conversation about brain bleach?

Ok. But can we stop talking about rape. It's getting kind of annoying since it's nearly as bad as some 4-letter-words to me.

And I think I may have found out why my themes have gotten darker lately. 1) Had 3 hard exams in 2 days. 2) Is studying about STD's in health. 3) Has too much time between classes and misses most of friends that were left behind since recently graduating High School.

If I can hold off for #2 to finish. Recover from #1. And be able to go back for a weekend to visit friends. I may be OK!! *Whew*

[CoffeeIncluded]

Rough time in school? Join the club. I'm handing out free drinks and jackets.

(Sorry that all I've got to hand out are milk and grape juice. Underage and Lawful here, plus beer tastes awful.)

In any case, let's see what I've got left before I have to re-roll...

XykonxRoy's Sword (You know, after all this, I don't think Roy will ever use that sword without wearing sterile surgical latex gloves ever again. EVER.)

BelkarxInkyrius, with adultery. (I have got a fantastic idea for this.)
So I guess I'll do BelkarxInkyrius after having dinner and studying for my history test tomorrow. Will that bit of crack fic comedy help cheer you up?

[Silverraptor]

Rough time in school? Join the club. I'm handing out free drinks and jackets.

(Sorry that all I've got to hand out are milk and grape juice. Underage and Lawful here, plus beer tastes awful.)

In any case, let's see what I've got left before I have to re-roll...

XykonxRoy's Sword (You know, after all this, I don't think Roy will ever use that sword without wearing sterile surgical latex gloves ever again. EVER.)

BelkarxInkyrius, with adultery. (I have got a fantastic idea for this.)
So I guess I'll do BelkarxInkyrius after having dinner and studying for my history test tomorrow. Will that bit of crack fic comedy help cheer you up?

Ooooooo, Milk! give me some!

And sure. Maybe you'll cheer me up.

[Water-Smurf]

Stories tend to get darker with someone's state of mind. The darker and more serious they are, the darker the author, I've noticed. That's how I can tell when some of my online friends are going through rough spots.