What would you Wish for if you wanted to make your DM cry?

[absolmorph]

Thats a poor DM who can't make the players suffer from their own time travel antics.

Seriously.
"You travel back in time? Okay. How far? Oh, wow. A hundred years? Okay, gimme a second..."
You can have a lot of fun (as DM) logically punishing players for altering the past. Or, you can have them make part of history for you.

[OracleofWuffing]

The Binder of course just giggles. The Warblade's probably okay, as is the Duskblade. And the Cleric Archer is quite happy too.

Depending on the invocations, Warlocks are probably okay, too.

"I wish to wield the entire plane of Mechanus as a natural weapon."
"I wish for your credit card."
"I wish everyone and everything be turned inside-out."
"I wish ham sandwich. No, I do not wish for a ham sandwich, and I do not wish to eat a ham sandwich. I wish ham sandwich."
"I wish for each one of the molecules in my fighter friend here to become explosive runes."
"I wish the material plane was made out of chocolate."

[Vonriel]

"I wish you'd go watch that episode of Futurama with Fry's dog."

[Pika...]

"I wish you'd go watch that episode of Futurama with Fry's dog."

You just made me sad during the middle of a Comedy Central special no less. :(

[Xenogears]

In my earlier post I did say that my wish was for the princess alone, now, and unharmed. We did the scrying earlier to know that she was in no eminent danger a few hours before that

If I were the DM I would've decided that the Princess was the REAL BBEG and have her show up and sneak attack (not the rogue ability) the party.

[absolmorph]

If I were the DM I would've decided that the Princess was the REAL BBEG and have her show up and sneak attack (not the rogue ability) the party.

I believe that's called a "surprise attack".

[nhbdy]

wish everyone was pun-pun

wish everyone saw only that which they most feared?

EDIT: wish all magic backfired on it's caster!

[Thurbane]

I would wish for the ability to draw nothing but red cards from a Deck-o Many Things.

[Jarrick]

"I wish ham sandwich. No, I do not wish for a ham sandwich, and I do not wish to eat a ham sandwich. I wish ham sandwich."

LMAO! There is much win here. I'm so going to use this next time it comes up.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

If I were the DM I would've decided that the Princess was the REAL BBEG and have her show up and sneak attack (not the rogue ability) the party.

Why? That's a listed, safe, reasonable ability of Wish. There are few of those. It's magic second only to the gods, it should be able to bring a single willing person from anywhere to you. Heck, going to them is only a 5th level spell.

[MickJay]

LMAO! There is much win here. I'm so going to use this next time it comes up.

I'd just go "Your wish is granted", and disappear in a puff of smoke without any further explanation.

[Pika...]

If I allowed Wish in my games, I'd grant it. It's probably worth less than 25 K, and even if not, it won't break anything. Granted, you just pie'd Tiamet, so she will respond appropriately.

On the other hand you'd probably be getting a standing ovation from at least one trickster deity, so I'm fairly sure you're safe as far as direct smiteage goes. The problem comes from every chromatic dragon in the world personally gunning for you.

LoL. Well, look at the bright side: It would be an AWESOME way to die.

Has anyone ever seen the movie Flight of the Dragons?

Does anyone remember the scene where dragons nearly blotted out the sky?
Just imagine that miles high wall of dragons heading towards my PC while he has a huge smile on his face. Like this ---->

[Drakevarg]

I wish that "left = cheese."

[JohnnyCancer]

Wish for the BBEG to have greater empathy for those they harm?

[OracleofWuffing]

I'd just go "Your wish is granted", and disappear in a puff of smoke without any further explanation.

Awesome.

Hey guys, I don't know the exact details, but I do know ham sandwich just happened!

[Pika...]

Awesome.

Hey guys, I don't know the exact details, but I do know ham sandwich just happened!

Personally I would treat ham as a verb for this, hence from that day forth all sandwiches regardless of what one does or makes it out of tastes like a ham sandwhich.

That, or every sandwhich made mysteriously has some ham in it. Usually realized once you bite into it, but no one will ever actually see the process happening. However, let's just say Baphomet is gonna have a grudge against you. @_@

[Another_Poet]

"A campaign that doesn't suck." Out loud. In front of the DM.

Seriously, don't use a Wish to try to upset your DM. Be a good friend.

[MickJay]

"I wish my DM received all the appreciation he/she deserves for all the hard work and effort and for putting up with our lack of gratitude for so long", while looking lovingly in his/her eyes, already brimming with tears of joy and happiness at such unexpected (and expensive) expression of appreciation...

That, or they're laughing themselves to tears over the player's foolish and pathetic attempt at ingratiating themselves with the DM.

[2xMachina]

From a SLA or other source?

Replicate True Creation to make CL cubic foot of diamonds (or whatever is more expensive).

Now, figure out the value of a 17 cubic foot diamond.

Or True Creation anti-matter. Bye-bye campaign world.

[elonin]

I'd imagine many dms would cap that amount created to the gp cap of wish. If you are arcane caster I'd wish for a scroll of fabricate and then wish for adementine.

[2xMachina]

By RAW, True Creation has no GP limit (just volume). It's a 8th lvl spell too, so perfectly fine to be replicated. It just costs you XP. But since you're not paying the xp cost, you don't care.

[MickJay]

"When a wish duplicates a spell that has an XP cost, you must pay 5,000 XP or that cost, whichever is more" (SRD)

[2xMachina]

Yes, but in the case of SLA's or a Wish from other sources (wand/scroll), you don't care about the XP cost, because it's not you that's paying it.

[MickJay]

SLAs do not have XP cost. In case of Wish, however, some of its effects require XP payment. More strict ruling would simply eliminate such effects from what SLA wish can accomplish, except for those that are within the default range of 5000XP. More lenient one could leave room for the fact that it's YOU who is making the wish, even if someone/something is providing the "basic service" of getting wish started, so you (i.e. one formulating the wish) can pay an additional cost to get more powerful effect.

[Calenestel]

Personally I would treat ham as a verb for this, hence from that day forth all sandwiches regardless of what one does or makes it out of tastes like a ham sandwhich.

That, or every sandwhich made mysteriously has some ham in it. Usually realized once you bite into it, but no one will ever actually see the process happening. However, let's just say Baphomet is gonna have a grudge against you. @_@

All right. THIS, dear friends, is what win is made of. This is a 100% pure win.
And if you do not agree, consider this: Aside fron Baphomet we'll have EVERY vegetarian druid in the entire campaign setting looking for revenge. EPIC.

Aure Entuluva!
Calenestel

[Kiren]

An M72 Anti-tank Rocket Launcher

[nhbdy]

An M72 Anti-tank Rocket Launcher

good reference

"I wish that cow was a tavern"

[Ravens_cry]

I wish to win The Game.
What he doesn't know is, I already won.

[OracleofWuffing]

Aside fron Baphomet we'll have EVERY vegetarian druid in the entire campaign setting looking for revenge. EPIC.

Door #1:

Spoiler

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Look, it's all fine, I'll just hold a big sandwich luncheon for everyone and they can all go home happy, agreed?

Door #2:

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They can take a number. Not the first time I've had gods and an entire army of divine caster out to kill me. With any luck, they'll end up killing each other over who gets to kill me.

Door #3:

Spoiler

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It was good role-playing, right? Come on, bonus experience!

"I wish (the DM's significant other's character) would become my (wife/husband, select appropriate) for all eternity."

[Godskook]

"I wish ham sandwich. No, I do not wish for a ham sandwich, and I do not wish to eat a ham sandwich. I wish ham sandwich."

In a huge puff of smoke, the universe torques as if attempting to grant your request. However, the only result is that a piece of paper appears in your hands. On it reads the following:

Syntax error, ID 10t