Into the West: Let's Play Oregon Trail II

[Wreckingrocc]

We have to Ford it. We have no other option.

[Pie Guy]

We have to Ford it. We have no other option.

But what if we want to Toyota it?

[ZeroNumerous]

But what if we want to Toyota it?

Don't be silly. We need our rivers to have breaks.

[Zarah]

We charged onward as we usually do. Water wasn't about to stand in the way of our mighty oxen! They plowed right through it without incident. For the first time since we set out, we didn't screw anything up when crossing a river. Huzzah!

Although, one crazed settler did throw a lit torch into the water, convinced it would light it ablaze. We don't talk to him anymore.

Our next stops were Scott Spring and Alcove Spring, both of which had little to offer us, so I ordered us to keep on trucking.





However, it didn't take us long before we found ourselves another river to cross. We had tamed the Blue River just outside Independence, but now it was time to face its big brother...

[ZeroNumerous]

Two and a half feet?! A dwarves from Boatmurdered could ford that thing without dying!

Are you a weak little human or are you a beer-guzzling bearded madman?! FORD!

[Pie Guy]

No, we should change all our skills into Build 15 Year Suspension Bridges!

And collect all the water so we can drown the animals and not waste bullets!

Edit: I will continue to suggest insane ideas at river crossings until you give in to my demands!

[chiasaur11]

No, we should change all our skills into Build 15 Year Suspension Bridges!

And collect all the water so we can drown the animals and not waste bullets!

Edit: I will continue to suggest insane ideas at river crossings until you give in to my demands!

Only if it's the Red Mage Memorial Suspension Bridge.

Of course, there's plenty to kill and loot on this side of the bridge...

[RS14]

Are you a weak little human or are you a beer-guzzling bearded madman?! FORD!

We're tea-guzzling bearded madmen, thank you very much.

Regardless, ford that sucker.

[Starbuck_II]

I say Mercedes it, but I have high hopes.

[Aragehaor]

Pssh. 2 and a half feet? Really? if we cant ford that we're going to have to turn in our manhood badges. Ford it.

[Wreckingrocc]

FORD IT!!! + Foamy mouth

[Zarah]

Once again, we forded without incident. It seemed that our oxen were getting better at that kind of thing, and we were gaining more confidence in our journey. The chickens still shivered over every crossing, however.



Not much to see there. The temperatures had increased, however, which could spell bad news for us.



As we passed through the narrow passage, I made a note in my journal. This location would make an ideal place to fend off an army of Persian soldiers, should the need arise. And you never know, in this kind of trip...



We soon came upon possibly the most boring "coast" I have ever seen in my life. Temperatures were still high, it was rainy, and the trails were muddy, but we pressed on. In fact, I decided to pick up the pace a bit and try to cover more ground. This may have been a mistake, however, since we had barely gotten started when...



Cholera claims its first victim. There wasn't even any warning.

We are down one settler in our team, but now we have to decide what to do with the poor soul's body...

[Raroy]

Ford the body! Wait, don't disrespect the forum member, burial please.

[ZeroNumerous]

Who...? Well, throw 'em in a ditch and move on. He would have wanted it this way, for we have more rivers to ford! Remember always that our oxen are the oxen which shall PIERCE ALL RIVERS!

[Isak]

His body still has fresh blood...

Leave it out in the open to fend off the inevitable Vampire kill squad...

[RS14]

So long, buddy, and thanks for the rations.

[Aragehaor]

Cholera claims its first victim. There wasn't even any warning.

We are down one settler in our team, but now we have to decide what to do with the poor soul's body...

I laughed for a good while there.



Anyways. Just put me in a ditch. With a Bear hide as my tombstone. And i wont destroy you all with my ghost-powers.

[Flickerdart]

If you leave it, you'll only show them that you passed this way. Sacrifice it to the next river you'll be fording, both to appease it and use the running water to keep the vampires at bay.

[Zarah]

Wanting to continue on as quickly as we could, we simply placed the body aside and moved on. Surely he and that chicken would live on forever in the afterlife...

Although the temperatures had died down a little, we were running out of water. However, we managed to get lucky and come along a small Fort in the middle of nowhere.



I explored a little, but there wasn't much to see. There was even less to buy, given our budget. So, we reluctantly turned back to the trail and continued west. That is, until we ran into a new problem. Literally, in this case.

[ReluctantReaper]

Use the tourniquet/suction!

[Aragehaor]

Reeeeveeeennggee...



Tell Agentpaper to suck it up.

In my day we didnt stop until we dropped dead! and even then we would just throw the body over the side and continue without so much as saying a few words of respect to the dead! and we Liked it!

[ZeroNumerous]

Plenty of exercise! If he works harder, his body will fight off the poisons!

(Seriously don't do this. Bad, bad idea. Activity will just increase blood flow and by proxy the spread of the poison)

[chiasaur11]

Having recently read Axecop, the solution is obvious.

Shoot him in the head. With an axe.

Otherwise, he'll become a rattlesnake and kill you all.

[Zarah]

We worked quickly to suck the poison out, then wrapped the wound in a hastily made tourniquet. I wasn't really what someone had made it out of, but I didn't let my mind dwell on it. Instead, we returned to our wagon and pressed on.



We came to Plum Creek not long after, and I immediately ordered the entire wagon train to ford it. It was only a few inches of water, so we made it through unharmed, although some other settlers gave me a strange look when we crossed eyes. I began to wonder if they trusted me...


Unfortunately now, I need more sleep. It's been an eventful day, but it is here, at Plum Creek that our journey will pause for the moment. Tune in tomorrow for more hi-jinks!

[AgentPaper]

Ow! Damn snake! Who would have thought trotting through the high grass near the wagon shooting a shotgun into the brush randomly every few hours would get you bitten by a snake? 'Cause I sure didn't.

Hmm, you know, my head feels kinda funny. Was that purple dinosaur there before? OH MY GOD IT'S COMING THIS WAY GIVEMEMYSHOTGUN!

[xp194]

Personal Journal of xp194, Adventurer Extrordinare

Spoiler

Show

Day 1
Well, We're off. I got clubbed on the back of the head while walking around town by a man who I later found was called Zarah. Turned out he wanted to leave quaint ol' Independece for richer pastures and had 'chosen' me as the 6th member of his wagon party, the other 4 being Anathron, RS14, Aragehaor and AgentPaper. Well, at least we had stupid names as common ground, and we began relentlessly mocking each other about them.

Anyway, not having much to loose, I agreed to travel with them. We pulled up at the general store, and the others rebuffed Adrian's (that is the name of all shop owners now :-p) offer to give us a package deal. I was wary about this, and turned out to be right when they came out with ludicrous amounts of food, candy, chickens, guns and garlic, for, I quote "To scare off the vampires."

Ye Gods, I'm travelling with madmen.

We promptly joined the smallest wagon train out west, on the hunch that if we accused someone of stealing our stuff and shooting them, we had a higher probability of being right. I guess I just have to accept that they're my 'family' for the next few months/weeks/years.

Day 2:
We invented a new game. It's called Team Fortress 2. We used our ludicrous amounts of guns with blanks in them to raid the other wagons in disguise, in search of 'intelligence', or to move another wagon into an annoying location for the others. Team Fortress 1 was where we used live ammunition, which Zarah yelled at us for.

As day broke and the other wagons tried to work out just what the hell had happened, we happened upon our first obstacle that wasn't the other's insanity. Blue River. One of the other travellers, calling himself TheDarkFiddler stated we should caulk up the wagons and float across, as he had heard that there were vampires on the bottom of the river. I reasoned that by fording it, we would run over any vampires in the way. Another traveller... Pie Guy, I believe, suggested we tried shooting the river to slay it and harvest water. General consensus was that he go ahead and try.

DISASTER! The wagon sunk! We managed to get it out again, but not without losing a number of our things, including one of the chickens. We dried out what we could, and hung the rest on the side of the wagon to dry as we carried on. But not without spending a minute in silence for the memory of dear "Sir Clucky the First"

Day 3:
We pulled into Westport, which was, to be honest, boring. I suggested we maybe try buying some more bullets to replace those Pie Guy had been firing into the water as our wagon sunk. Geeze, talk about rudeness. Zarah said no. When I pressed him as to why not, he revealed the state of our funds. Putting his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a few coins.

"Where's the rest of it?" I asked him.

"This is the rest of it," He replied. "All 48 Cents of it."

"..."

"..."

"We're soooo dead."

So, we hopped back on the cart as the other travellers came back from the town, having stocked themselves with such essentials such as beer and beer, and carried onwards. Onwards to Death!

Or another town as it turned out. Though, frankly? Not a whole lot of differance. Sleepy as heck. New Santa Fe. We fired a few blanks into the air as we went on through. This had the dual effect of causing panic in the townsfolk and panic in the oxen and we covered a bit of distance fairly quickly. The oxen ran out of steam at Blue Hill, which was actually green, so Zarah decided to take our small armoury and do some hunting. I argued that we had plenty of food and that we should conserve bullets, "For upcoming rivers." I finished, sarcastically.

But the others loved the idea so off he went and came back with some dead rabbits and deer amoung others. Flickerdart, from one of the other wagons, suggested that we move quickly onwards incase the spirit of our dead chicken came after us. It suddenly got very chilly and there were several nervous glances around. Chiasaur11, from the same wagon as Flickerdart, Pie Guy and TheDarkFiddler told us not to worry and to shotgun it's ghost in the face. Because that would totally work.

As we pressed on, I went up front with Zarah for some conversation.

"Nice day, isn't it?" I opened.

"Yessiree, Wonderful day. You know, I honestly believe that nothing can go wrong tod..."

Before he could finish the sentence, Anathron made a loud "Ba-kawk!" noise behind RS14. RS14 proceded to fall off the wagon and onto a rock. He was fairly delusional by the time we'd halted the train and ran back for him, and not very focussed at all. When I gave him the "How many Fingers?" test he replied, "Chicken."

We asked around the others if any of them kenned the medical profession. The reply was a resounding no. So we debated as to the best treatment, some stating that we should give him rest, others that he should continue to pull his weight. I suggested the most Sciency sounding treatment I could think of, despite not knowing what it meant. Chiasaur11 suggested euthanasia.

Eventually, the debate was broken up by him asking for extra rations. So, not knowing enough to think differantly and hoping for the best, we granted his request, surrounded him with food and carried on us. He still seems a little not-with-it, but happy, at least.

Day 4:
We played TF2 again, and ended up getting one of the other carts stuck in a ditch. After helping them pull it out again, we looked on at our next obstacle. The Kansas river. This time, there was a ferry, but with the 48 cents, we didn't have nearly enough money to afford it. So, we decided to ford the river and restrain Pie Guy and keep him away from the weaponry. What could go wrong?

Goddammit. My feet are getting wet. Now my waist... oh fugnuggits!

So, yeh. We sank again. And we've lost most, if not all of our meds. Ye Gods. How could this get worse?

We came up to a Mission. Not a military mission, but a Christian Mission. The others equated this to Nuns. And Nuns to... well, it's safe to say they probably weren't planning on sleeping tonight.

Frag it. I might as well go in with them to stop them from, I dunno, trying to make out on the altar or something...


So, it turns out that Nuns =/= Ladies of Negotiable Affection. Who'da thunk it?

We pulled away from the flaming torches and pitchforks and came across the Red Vermillion river. There was a toll bridge, but between the low funds and an angry mob we took the most logical and safest option. Ford. Dat. River!

Hey, we made it through with no loses of anything! And no sinking! And we left the mob behind! Hey, did... did Pie Guy just throw a lit torch in the river yelling about using it for warmth...? Guys, I think we need the sedatives... wait, we've lost those. Frag.

After Red Vermillion river, we passed two springs. Zarah ordered us onwards, so onwards we went.

We set up camp just before reaching Big Blue river. I'm now going to lie in fear of vampires and ghost chickens. Thanks, guys.

Day 5:

Beginning to think that the vampires and ghost chicken stories are the other wagon's way at getting back at us for playing TF2 with them. Not that they can prove it's us that're doing it.

Anyway, the river. If you've been paying attention at all, Journal, then you'll have a very good idea of what we did. It's almost become a matter of pride that we'll ford a river regardless of danger.

And we made it through fine. Funny. I'm relieved but also... bored? In a perverse way it was more 'fun' when things went horribly wrong.

We continued past landmarks that appeared to be varients on flat land. Boring. Boring as hell...



Aragehaor is... he's dead. Cholera, according to Zarah. I'm not so sure. Despite the fact he showed no symptoms, I'm fairly certain cholera does not cause all your limbs to fall off, two puncture marks to appear in the neck, and what look like peck marks all over the face. I think we're dealing with murder here maybe... but who's the culprit? Regardless, I'm taking a shotgun to bed with me tonight.

We left Aragehaor's body by the side of the road. I hope he doesn't mind. I do not think we should tarry though. There are so many things the human mind cannot comprehend, those to which we are nothing but insects. And I think they might be after us. The rumors, the death, the strings of misfortune... we have attracted the attention of that which is greater than ourselves. I only hope I get to see the fabled Oregon before it's too late.

We reached Fort Kearny. We had no money, nothing to say to them. Contact with other people would only have brought doom on them as well. We trundled on in silence.

Punctuated by AgentPaper blasting a shotgun into the undergrowth as we went. After an hour or so of this, a rattlesnake apparently got as irritated as we were with this, lept up, and bit him.

We quickly applied one of the few pieces of medical 'knowledge' we thought we knew. We sucked the bite to clear the venom, then stuck a torniquet over it. I only hope we moved fast enough. He seems to be okay, just limping a bit.


I think I've gotten over my madness. I'm now suspecting someone of murdering Aragehaor and making it look like it was from supernatural causes. They're trying to scare us. Who 'they' are, I have no idea yet, but, it's a small train. Smaller now. And at least more rations to go around. Hard to be terrified of elderitch horrors on a full stomach.

We reached Plum Creek at night fall. I say creek... more like a trickle. Couldn't drown an ant in it. Despite this, Zarah triumphantly proclaimed his intention to ford this, quote, “Mighty River.” I think maybe the journey is beginning to take a toll on him, poor man.

We've set up camp again now. I'm still keeping the shotgun close to me, trigger attached to a trip wire across the door of my tent, muzzle also pointed at the door. Ain't no-one gonna murder me in my sleep.

[Flickerdart]

Having recently read Axecop, the solution is obvious.

Shoot him in the head. With an axe.

Otherwise, he'll become a rattlesnake and kill you all.

No, he would become Rattlesnake Settler and help the waggon train fight crime.

[chiasaur11]

No, he would become Rattlesnake Settler and help the waggon train fight crime.

Well, yeah, either one is a distinct possibility.

So shooting him seems to, you know, be playing it safe.

[Cristo Meyers]

How screwed up is the weather that in Nebraska, in late May, it's not even 60 degrees F?

[Flickerdart]

Rattlesnake Settler is immune to bullets, and if you try to shoot him, he'll chop your head off. How is that playing it safe at all?