Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier

[Jokasti]

I may be in the minority but I think that series peaked in the second generation.

Is it still a minority if you are alone?

[Syka]

That ain't several years younger, lol.


I feel ya, though. I know a girl who got engaged a few weeks back and Oz and I took bets on how long the engagement will last. >> Yeah...But that can happen at any age.

This is more of an "oh man...we're old enough to make life long commitments, as well as be entrusted with another's life. Well...crap. I still don't feel confident enough to take care of myself."

[arguskos]

I'm 21 and I feel my age for a variety of reasons, mostly concerning my 2 year old little brother.

Numbers changed to reflect the current poster.

Also, lolPokemans. I liked the 3rd Gen remake of the original (FireRed/LeafGreen), and LeafGreen is actually my favorite (it's the original, but nice graphics and in color!). Crystal's my second favorite though, not gonna lie. Everything pre-Crystal rocks, everything post-Crystal (sans the remakes) sucks horrifically.

[MountainKing]

One of my friends is engaged. This is absurd and freaking me out because every time I think about it I go, "WTF He's ENGAGED!" and my other friends go "Yeah, that's pretty much how we react." And I'm several years younger than you >.<

ALso I know a girl my age who has a little boy who she had at 18.

I may be in the minority but I think that series peaked in the second generation.

Hahaha, what? I have two friends who are married, two friends who are engaged, one friend who has HAD their first kid, one who has a kid on the way, and when I was 18 I dated a single mom. I'm 23 now; having such distinct memories of the night I gave up my virginity makes it feel kind of weird that it was five years ago.

So don't feel so bad.

[Pyrian]

Ok, so they had a kid at 18, and their spawn did as well, and so they're a grandparent at 36.

I think it was more like 16-17 in each case.

That's messed up dude.

Indeed. It certainly caps the spread, so to speak. But it makes it hard to shock me any more. I have friends who've been married and divorced twice... Who are grandparents... And so on. (Oddly, while I do have one ex-living ex-roommate, I haven't had any friends die yet.)

[MountainKing]

...wait... what? How does that work, Pyrian? If you don't mind me asking, that is.

[Pyrian]

Hmm? Which part of that?

[Jokasti]

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much....

[MountainKing]

The ex-living but nobody has died bit.

[Umael]

The ex-living but nobody has died bit.

The roommate is the ex who died, not one of his friends.

I recall a few years after I graduated finding out that someone who was in the same class as me died in a mountain-climbing accident. Sombering to think about that.

[Pyrian]

A person with whom I shared an apartment for a few months died shortly thereafter. He was not a friend; in fact, he was barely an acquaintance, and I hardly ever saw him even while we lived in the same place. Yet that's the closest I've come to having a peer die (my grandparents are all long gone, though).

[MountainKing]

Ah. I had thought you meant the former room-mate was also a friend; hence the confusion.

[Superglucose]

Well I threw caution to the wind and just flat out came clean with the guy who has the number of the girl I seek. We'll see if that turns out ok.

Dutch friend turned out to be all right, in fact, better than all right! She gets to reduce her regimen of pills because her body's doing better than expected! I'm so happy for her I could scream.

[MeatShield#236]

All this talk about feeling old make me feel young. (If that make any sense.) I'm only 16. Course that might change... (I'll be 17 in a month.)

[skywalker]

I think it was more like 16-17 in each case.

My ex-girlfriend knew an interesting girl, call her Sandra. Sandra's mother was 16 when she had Sandra. Sandra's grandmother had been 16 when she had Sandra's mother, and Sandra's great-grandmother had been 16 when she had Sandra's grandmother. In middle school, Sandra swore she wasn't even having sex until she was 18, to break the cycle. A glance at her Myspace 4 years later revealed that 15(!) year old Sandra was having a baby.

Indeed. It certainly caps the spread, so to speak. But it makes it hard to shock me any more. I have friends who've been married and divorced twice... Who are grandparents... And so on. (Oddly, while I do have one ex-living ex-roommate, I haven't had any friends die yet.)

Had one of the unfortunate car accident deaths at my high school, senior year. That was pretty rough. My dad still freaks out that his peers are dying, and he's 53...

[Zeb The Troll]

I'm 36 and have a friend my age who's a grandparent.

Ok, so they had a kid at 18, and their spawn did as well, and so they're a grandparent at 36.

That's messed up dude.

In August, my daughter will celebrate her 22nd AFONAL day and I will celebrate my 39th a week and a half later. The GrandTroll turned 3 in January.

If we get into "grandparents by marriage" territory, GrandTroll was born the year Alarra turned 26.

[Superglucose]

Someone killed himself in my 8th grade class. I was supposed to be super sad about it because everyone was wearing black or whatever to signify the passing of this noble hero...

who's method of introducing himself to me was to bite my arm. In 7th grade.

EDIT: I hate guys. I'm like 90% sure this guy is interested in Kim and that's why he's not responding to me at all Just any response would be fine even if it was the lie of "She's not interested" (or if that was the truth, but my point is, AT LEAST LIE). I can see that you've logged in like five times and still made 0 posts.

Just gimme her number :P

[skywalker]

Someone killed himself in my 8th grade class. I was supposed to be super sad about it because everyone was wearing black or whatever to signify the passing of this noble hero...

who's method of introducing himself to me was to bite my arm. In 7th grade.

Still sad when a person dies...

[Superglucose]

If I were to be sad with every death that ever happened, I'd never be able to function. Period.

I hate, hate, hate the idea of mourning the passing of people. Instead, I feel I should celebrate the time we had together. I don't want people to be sad that I'm gone, I want them to be happy that I was here. Only it's a bit difficult to celebrate someone biting me on the arm because I wanted to get into my locker... to whit that's the primary reason I never used my locker in Jr High/High School: I didn't want to get bitten by that one guy so I just didn't use it 7th grade, and the habit stuck with me.

[Marillion]

I am feeling...conflicted.

Spoiler

Show

I've just come out of a particularly nasty break up, which you may remember being posted in the depression thread a few months back, and while I'm still not at 100% (or even 75%) I'm doing better. So that's good. But I'm, ahh...Lonely. Wink wink nudge nudge. And everyone I know who might be interested is in a long term relationship, so I'm certainly not going to bother them. But this isn't a big deal, just a minor frustration.

But then, I have an acquaintance. She's only ever *ahem* experienced her boyfriend, and her boyfriend wants her to *ahem* experience another man. To get it out of her system, so to speak. He's personally given me the go-ahead, which I guess is only fair, seeing as how he *ahem* experienced my ex fiance before she was officially my ex. And while my acquaintance had been having mixed feelings, she told me that if she did go through with it she would want it to be me, and she seems to have resolved those mixed feelings and has also given me the go-ahead. We're both very clear that while it might turn into a recurring thing, in the end, she is endlessly devoted to her boyfriend and I'm not looking for anything long term right now. It would just be an *ahem* experience.

So far, our schedules have kept it from happening, and while I was initially all for it, now that I've gotten some time to think about it, I'm feeling a little uneasy. My longing for "companionship" notwithstanding, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation. On the one hand, if they're both ok with it, so am I. But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that they only THINK they're ok with it, and I wouldn't want to be the thing that drives them apart. Not to mention, what if afterwards her boyfriend just doesn't measure up? I have it on good authority that he is, frankly, terrible, especially when compared to me, and suffice it to say my ex was not the kind of person who would lie about her *ahem* experiences, past or present, to spare my feelings.

I guess what I'm asking is, am I overthinking the whole thing? Should I go for it?

tl;dr: My awesomeness might break my friends up and I'm not sure how I should feel about that.

[Jokasti]

Like 5 people in my school have died and I still have two more years.

[Superglucose]

... what?

No. This has "bad idea" written all over it in so many ways and languages and fonts and sizes and colors that even *I* would pause before this.

And then I would say "no." And probably "... what?" Maybe even a little bit of "wow you guys are insane."

[Malfunctioned]

@Marillion - To be honest I can't really see of any way that this could go well. There just seems too many ways for something like this to go horribly wrong so I'm just gonna go and say that it would be better for you to refuse.

[Adumbration]

In some months, I'm going to be moving out on my own and start studying in a college.

And why I'm posting this here? I'm feeling intimidated. Not because I'm moving out, and not because I'm going to college. (Well, okay, for those too, but that wouldn't have made the required dramatic entrance.)

Out of all the students entering the college in question - school of veterinary medicine - only two others are male. Out of about 60-70 people.

Any particular advice? I have a feeling I'm going to stand out, and not necessarily in a good way. Horrific images passing through my mind: 1) either or both of the other guys are jerks, 2) I make some sort of embarrasing blunder that will give me a bad reputation (that would make my life a hell for 6 years) or 3), I won't make any new friends and get really really lonely. Or any combination of three. With possible sidedishes of other horror scenarios.

I feel quite ill-equipped for this situation. I can deal with guys, and make good friends over time, but I've never really had female friends for one reason or the other. Situation is also not aided one bit by the fact that I'm usually fairly uneasy around people I don't know, and it shows. I sweat, stutter occasionally and am generally slightly dim-witted and uninteresting.

[Asta Kask]

Like 5 people in my school have died and I still have two more years.

You should move from Sunnydale.

[Superglucose]

Yeah.

My first response is... 57/60 people are FEMALE?!??! Wow. That's an absurd level of gender-imbalance I don't think we've seen since the '50s.

My second response is... chill, and don't worry about it. Over time you'll discover that girls are remarkably similar to guys, and if you look around here you'll find that there are plenty of girls who do things like watch Star Wars/Trek, play D&D, etc., which really just means that hobbies don't actually have gender lines.

Out of 60 people you should be able to find at least one person you can hang out with repeatedly.

[Jokasti]

Marillion: I don't think any part of that plan would work out. Even if everything went according to plan, there would be a level of awkwardness that wouldn't go away.
Adum: While bros are nice, you should probably get used to the idea of a female friend if your class has but three males. I know your situation, my English class last year had three males and twenty seven females. Granted it was only one period, but most of my pals in that class were female.

[Pyrian]

I am feeling...conflicted.

Do you want to keep these friends? (If I understand the sequence of events correctly, I would understand if you did not.) Personally, I would run for the hills, but I can't help thinking that (A) you're invited and (B) you've got nothing worthwhile to lose.

[J.Gellert]

Do you want to keep these friends? (If I understand the sequence of events correctly, I would understand if you did not.) Personally, I would run for the hills, but I can't help thinking that (A) you're invited and (B) you've got nothing worthwhile to lose.

I agree with the above. As always, the best way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

[Force]

Yeah.

My first response is... 57/60 people are FEMALE?!??! Wow. That's an absurd level of gender-imbalance I don't think we've seen since the '50s.

Nursing is similar. My school is proud of having a 10% male nurse graduation rate as the norm is closer to about 6-7%.

Adumbration, remember that there are lots of people at school other than vet students. You'll be hanging out with a lot of girls (which isn't a bad thing) but you should be taking at least a few classes outside your vet courses. If I remember correctly, a vet degree requires a pre-vet degree (similar to med & pre-med); I'd imagine that's what you're doing now? If so, I'd imagine that a lot of your biology/chemistry courses would include non-vet students and probably a higher proportion of males. What about your gen ed courses?

Finally, there are tons of student organizations on campus. While you won't have a ton of spare time if you want to have good grades, you should have enough to build a few relationships.