Let's Read The Lando Calrissien Adventures

[pendell]

As discussed in the previous thread, I agreed to tackle this set of books as well.
The books have come in and let's read The Lando Calrissian Adventures!

Note that this is a completely blind


So .. these three books are all copyright 1983 by Lucasfilm. Return of the Jedi also came out
in 1983. I'm unsure of the timeline when they are this close together. Is this publicity for the
film to build excitement? Or is it capitalizing on the film's success to keep audience interest
alive and milk the franchise for all it was worth?

Author... L. Neil Smith , otherwise known for the American Confederacy series ...

:reads a bit:

... um, I don't think discussion of his other works is board-safe. So, yeah, they exist.

Nothing particularly notable in his background; born son of an Air Force officer, went into writing and political activism, never went out of either.

Well, let's give his books a try.

Lando Calrissien and the Mindharp of Shaaru

What's a mindharp? Given he's a gambler, is that something like a cardsharp, but with minds?

Prologue
A game of sabacc

Spoiler

Show

We meet Lando on the mining asteroid Oseon 2795 , the poorest, most miserable location in its system. He is in a sabacc game with four other players. Everyone is stripped down to the least modesty will permit , as it is
extremely hot.

Lando is currently in possession of the Millenium Falcon, which he describes as "a small converted freighter, and a rather elderly one at that." He's only had it for a short time,
having won it in another Sabacc game two systems earlier. This places the time of this novel
some time before the Han Solo adventures which we recently read. He is sometimes addressed as
"Captain Calrissien", but he prefers "Lando".

He's here to ply his itinerant trade of professional gambler. He acted on a tip from spacedock
employees, coming here hoping to gamble money out of rich hard-rock miners. Except these aren't rich, and Lando is in bad shape. He's earning money at the table, but not enough to cover the cost of operating the Falcon, which is the biggest expense for a starship ; not purchasing it in the first place, but keeping it flying afterwards. If the Falcon is anything like its later incarnation, it must need constant maintenance which, being nonstandard,
will come at a premium.

So far, his trip here is a loss.

We meet the other gamblers with him; Vett Fori, supervisor of the mining operation. She's been betting heavily, and losing heavily, all night. She seems preoccupied with something other than the game. Near her side is a cigar which has sat, untouched. Yeah, she's worried about something.

Next up is Arunn Fett, her assistant, notably only for being small and compact.

Third in the group is Ottdefa -- the title translates to "professor" -- Osuno Whett. I'll use "Professor" for the title from now on. He is also a newcomer to the mine, just as Lando is. Constantly prevaricating, constantly asking Lando questions, constantly debating his next move aloud, he is nonetheless the person at the table who's been winning all night. Just how much of this "absent-minded professor" schtick is a ruse to put everyone else off their guard?

Well, if that's what he's doing, it's working. But he's annoying.

The professor is an alien, a "tall, spindly wraith gray-headed, with a high-pitched whiny voice and a chronically indecisive manner." It had taken him twenty minutes to make up his mind what drink he wanted when he first sat down -- and even then, he changed it at the last minute.

My gamer-sense is tingling. I'll betcha ther'es more to this guy than meets the eye.

On to our fifth player, Constable T. Lund Phuna, the law enforcement on the outpost. He's unhappy but this can't be a happy assignment. I wonder who he managed to offend to get landed out here?

Lando grimly thinks to himself he's found better picking in refugee camps, as Professor
Whett wins again.

As he rakes in the money he mentions the Treasure of Rafa which, at Lando's prodding , turns out to be a rumor in a neighboring system, the Rafa system, named after them. The Rafa -- also known as the Sharu -- are an ancient people who once flourished in this system but have since vanished without a trace. They left ruins behind, largest examples of engineering in the galaxy, and where there are ruins there's always treasure. Well-known fact.

Buckle up, everyone, I think we've scored our quest hook.

Whett claims to be an anthropologist brought in to brief the new governor, who is a "conscientious" fellow. More likely a greedy one also after the treasure, I'll bet.

More information is given in the midst of Whett winning yet more rounds.

There is an indigenous people on Rafa known as the Toka. Their technology is pre-spaceflight, and they live among the ruins. There is a story among them of a "mindharp". An artifact which
can be used to bring the Sharu back to our world to aid and protect the Toka if they need it.

Lando continues to prod him for more information but with only minor interest -- he's really thinking about punching out for another, more profitable, known system. He learns that the ruins are ubiquitous but completely impenetrable to any known technology. He's tried to get in himself but failed.

Lando ponders his circumstances.

STORY NOTE: We learn that Lando is new to the Falcon and , unlike Han, an
abysmally amateurish astrogator and ship-handler. Which is why he's here in the first place.
There were richer pickings, but he didn't trust his ability either to compute the hyperspatial
track or land on a difficult mountain field in the freighter. Even so, the treasure of the
Rafa intrigues him.

He starts to win, and Whett asks Lando to spot him some cash, as he's hitting the limit of his reserves. When Lando declines, the professor offers up a robot pilot, a Class Two, worth
perhaps the value of the Falcon. It can fly the ship to the ruins of Rafa. Lando is intrigued, and allows him to add it to the pot as the equivalent of a thousand-credit stake.

Fori and Feb fold out of the hand; it's too much for them. The constable and the professor
stay in. Lando brings out a sabacc, and wins the pot.

So now that the exposition's done it's about time for a bar fight, isn't it?

As Lando stands up, the professor offers him paperwork in place of the droid. Lando briefly considers violence with the small blaster pistol he has tucked in his cummerbund. But before he can ponder his options further, the constable slips a cheating device into his pocket and proceeds to pull it out, accusing Lando of cheating.

Lando is affronted .. he's never owned such a device in his life.

... thinks ... doesn't mean he doesn't cheat, though.

The professor throws himself at Lando but the other two gamblers intervene; they saw the constable plant the cheater -- a skifter from later in the EU --? on Lando, and won't stand for it. Feb the assistant punches out the anthropologist, and while the constable is distracted the supervisor, Vett Fori, grabs the anthropolist and cracks his head into the cop's
knocking him out. He makes to toss his winnings on the table but the others won't hear of it. He won it fair and square, after all.

And so Lando leaves with the papers to the droid, intending no doubt to claim it ..
and to start his own quest for the treasure of the Rafa.

This is very different in tone from Daley's book. I'm getting a Mississippi riverboat gambler vibe from Lando. Happily, they told us in the first chapter what a mindharp was, so that makes it easy.

Lando is a professional gambler and uses a very different set of tools than Han does. He's not the hottest pilot in the galaxy; in fact, he's barely competent. He needs to be able to talk and bluff his way through things. He also doesn't have a Wookie friend around to act as muscle.

It'll be interesting to see how he carries this adventure through in his own style, very different from Han's.

It's kind of strange that he's a bad pilot at this point in the story, given that by Endor he's going to perform some of the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe, flying through the interior of the Death Star to its main reactor and then out again, outrunning a fireball the entire way. Will we see how he made that change?

Something else I kind of miss is any second character to act as a foil, as Chewie did for Han. Lando seems to be operating completely alone, which is strange. A crew of one is extremely small for a freighter. I take it he's using it purely as a transport, neither smuggling nor hauling legitimate cargo. Can't be a smuggler; if he can't fly there's no way he can outfly a patrol ship, as Han had to do repeatedly in his adventures. His only chance is to be squeaky clean as regards the letter of the law. In space, anyway.

Well, this doesn't seem quite as high quality as the other books but the adventure so far has me intrigued. Let's see how it goes!

Still, one pressing question... did Lando cheat? I grant he was framed for cheating with a skifter , which I first saw in the Zhan trilogy (which came out ten years later). Still, just because he wasn't cheating in such a clumsy, obvious way doesn't mean he was being totally honest either. I kinda get the impression Lando at this stage is chaotic neutral, given his betrayal of the party in Empire. Which would make it thinkable that he's cheating, although he does show a certain nobility when he prepares to throw his winnings back on the table in gratitude for being saved from a crooked lawman.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[DataNinja]

So .. these three books are all copyright 1983 by Lucasfilm. Return of the Jedi also came out
in 1983. I'm unsure of the timeline when they are this close together.

A quick google says that Mindharp came out June 12, 1983 - so just after the May 25 release of Jedi. So I'd say attempting to ride the popularity.

Something else I kind of miss is any second character to act as a foil, as Chewie did for Han. Lando seems to be operating completely alone, which is strange. A crew of one is extremely small for a freighter.

While I won't give any details (both for spoiler reasons, and because... I genuinely can't remember much of these books!), fortunately this state of affairs doesn't last forever. Lando won't need to be alone for the entire series.

[hamishspence]

Still, one pressing question... did Lando cheat? I grant he was framed for cheating with a skifter , which I first saw in the Zhan trilogy (which came out ten years later). Still, just because he wasn't cheating in such a clumsy, obvious way doesn't mean he was being totally honest either.

A skifter is always disguised as an extra card, which can change to the card of your choice.

The description in the book suggests that a "cheater" is a separate device, which can electronically influence the cards in the deck, rather than a disguised card itself.

[AMX]

It's kind of strange that he's a bad pilot at this point in the story, given that by Endor he's going to perform some of the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe, flying through the interior of the Death Star to its main reactor and then out again, outrunning a fireball the entire way. Will we see how he made that change?

I thought Nien Nunb did the flying at Endor?

[pendell]

I thought Nien Nunb did the flying at Endor?

I never found out their exact relationship in the cockpit, but you don't put someone in charge of leading a starfighter assault into the interior of a space station in a Must Win battle to decide the fate of the galaxy if they're barely capable of flying. He says in film the reason is "Someone told them about my maneuver at the battle of Tanaab", and Nien Numb wasn't there for that battle. So far as I know anyway.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Peelee]

. He also doesn't have a Wookie friend around to act as muscle.

Wookiee. 2 E's.

It's kind of strange that he's a bad pilot at this point in the story, given that by Endor he's going to perform some of the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe, flying through the interior of the Death Star to its main reactor and then out again, outrunning a fireball the entire way.

Not really the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe. Only one ship of the many that go in actually crash.

[pendell]

Not really the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe. Only one ship of the many that go in actually crash.

Is that because it's easy or because they picked really good pilots? The Blue Angels do some pretty cool stuff, but it isn't because it's easy. It's because they're some of the best pilots in the country.

In every video game adaptation I've played of that particular run (X-wing Alliance, the original Return of the Jedi game back in 1983) it takes skillz, especially on the way out.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Peelee]

Is that because it's easy or because they picked really good pilots? The Blue Angels do some pretty cool stuff, but it isn't because it's easy. It's because they're some of the best pilots in the country.

In every video game adaptation I've played of that particular run (X-wing Alliance, the original Return of the Jedi game back in 1983) it takes skillz, especially on the way out.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

So a handful of Rebel pilots and also a handful of random Imperial pilots (save for one) can perfectly fly through the Death Star's innards sight-unseen, and your takeaway is "every single one of those, except for the one Imperial who crashed, are the greatest pilots in the galaxy", and not "probably not the toughest flying in the Star Wars universe"?

[runeghost]

Hmm. Hadn't remembered these were by L. Neil Smith. This must have been pretty early in his writing career - I've hear of him, but can't remember reading any of his books. I'm a little sad they're not by Daley, but we'll see how Smith does.

So far, sounds decent, although... papers? Near-total lack of paper is one of the key flavor facets of the Star Wars universe.

[pendell]

So a handful of Rebel pilots and also a handful of random Imperial pilots (save for one) can perfectly fly through the Death Star's innards sight-unseen

Flying through the interior of an unfinished space station.
At high speed.
Which they've never been inside before.

This is reckless in the extreme even with no other aggravating factors; an ordinary pilot trying this stunt would probably be grounded forever once he returned to base, if he didn't crash on the way in.

Add to that terrain hazards being deliberately placed by the Imperials -- flooding zones in the novelization, fixed emplacements and space troopers setting up impromptu turbolaser positions in games.

Then add opposing fighters. It's harder for the Rebels being chased by TIEs, but even for the TIE fighter pilots it's no joke to fly through this mess AND line up a shot on the rebels before they get to where they're going.

Then add in the run back out in front of an advancing hypershock blastwave guaranteed to kill you if you aren't fast enough or miss a turn.

If there is a tougher feat of sublight flying in the GFFA I'm not aware of it.

But then, the X-wings are flying for the future of the entire galaxy on this run. The TIEs are fighting to defend the Emperor and the Empire's superweapon. Somehow I don't think both sides just grabbed some Pvt. Snuffy Smiths off KP duty and stuck them into cockpits for the run. No, both sides are represented by the varsity in this fight.


Anyway, let's get back to the story.

Chapter 1
Lando is a Terrible Pilot, Part II

Spoiler

Show

Acting on the tip we received in the prologue, Lando has just landed in the spaceport on Rafa IV.



ready to follow up on his lead to the ruins and the treasure therein. He is wearing a captain's hat and looks very suave and debonair in his outfit as he steps down the gangway, but he immediately receives a snarky remark from flight control: "What's that garbage on your thrust-intermix cowling, Em Falcon, over?"

They can't say anything about the amateurish touchdown Lando had made. He's well aware of it. Gambler, scoundrel, a Michaelangelo among the artists who perform the con, but pilot he's not, and he knows it. That's why this flight down was made, not by himself, but by a Class 5 robot pilot, the equivalent of something picked up at a thrift store. As they settle down, the droid welcomes it's passengers aboard the pleasure yacht Arleen, now in transit in interstellar space to --

Obviously the poor being is delusional. Lando shuts it down. He then finds the things ground control is complaining about -- some bat-like thing. He is forced to ask ground control what they are, and is snottily informed they are mynocks. Which ride asteroids (of which the previous Osean system had many) and are supposed to be removed in orbit BEFORE they're brought down into atmosphere and start reproducing. Lando had better get cracking quickly or they'll not only wreck his ship, they'll spread and cause problems for everyone else in the spaceport.

And THAT, ground control notes, will be an EXPENSIVE proposition.

This is going to be terrible on Lando's semiformal clothes, but he puts on a vacuum suit, then hooks up a steam line to the Falcon's reactor. Armed with this high-powered lethal device, he sweeps all the mynocks off the ship in a lengthy, grueling task which is not at all becoming for a gentleman of leisure such as himself.

Once he's done, Ground control mocks him some more. "Good going, ace! Didn't you get an instruction booklet when you sent your box-tops in for that pile of junk you're flying? Over."

Box-tops. Ah, that's a legacy from my childhood. Cereal companies like general mills would run ad campaigns where they would send you a small prize, free, if you mailed them a certain number of cereal box tops. These were never especially valuable prizes, and suggesting the Falcon was a prize in such a contest is about as insulting as can be. Lando is offended; the previous owner insisted the Falcon was one of the fastest ships in the galaxy. Lando, however, has not found evidence of this. Certainly his rental droid pilot wasn't able to get anywhere near the advertised speed from the ship. But then, the class five droid would probably lose a race even if it were flying a tie fighter in a race of star destroyers.

Lando tries to cut his losses by selling them the obviously-useless piloting droid, but control will have none of it; they are well aware of where that droid is from and they aren't going to buy someone else's property. He'll have to have it shipped back to Osean to its rental outfit as freight. Again, expensive.

This is not at all a good day.

Lando sets off to find a card game. As he does so he reflects on the planet he is on, and we get expositioned dump that there are only three things notable about this planet.

The first, of course, are the ruins themselves.
The second are these things called 'life crystals' which have an effect on dreaming, enhance intelligence, and quadruple human life expectancy.

... Sounds like Arrakeen spice has entered the GFFA.

They can only be cultivated in the various planets , moons, and planetoids of the Rafa system -- something about the sun, perhaps?

The third thing to know about this planet are the life-orchards in which these life crystals grow. They are a death sentence as well as very hard labor to harvest. Thus Rafa IV is a prison planet, as the local powers-that-be make use of the indigenous Rafa inhabitants in typical colonial exploitation , as well as prisoners from more than a million other worlds. Star's End, where the prisoners are kept in suspended animation, is a paradise compared to the living hell that is the Life-Orchards.

I say "is" because this book predates Han's ownership of the Falcon and his destruction of Star's End. So it's still around.

Lando travels through the town, which appears to be primarily made up of the poor and destitute. He notes an old man pushing a broom. "The colony was an anthill built on soil scrapings between ancient, artifical mountains .. drab by comparison with the polychrome towers surrounding it. Streets were narrow, angling oddly. Human-scale homes, offices and storefronts merely fringed the feet of titanic, nonhuman walls".

Lando is wearing his second best clothes with a cummerbund into which he has tucked a tiny, five-shot holdout blaster. He doesn't need a larger weapon because his primary weapon is between his ears, not in his belt. If there is trouble he will more likely fast-talk his way out of it than try to fight.

Finally, he reaches a bar -- the Spaceman's Rest. Lando notices, out of the corner of his eye, that same old man with his broom now sitting in the cantina. A police spy, perhaps? Or a criminal contact? Whoever he is , it seems likely he wants to track the comings and goings from this spaceport.

The mechanical server asks Lando if he's looking for a cargo. Lando declines, and asks where he can find a game of chance .. putting on a deliberate colonial accent. "When in hickville, act hicker than the hicks." City polish scares people away, but anyone with a crooked streak wants to take advantage of a country bumpkin. Lando will play that role to the hilt right up to the point he takes their money.

The droid has learned a thing or two and holds out for a bribe. Lando obliges with an extremely generous tip for the drink he just ordered and, sure enough, there is a game ... "research into probabilities", as it is called here to evade the usual restrictions against gambling. The droid heads out and Lando prepares to wait. It seems his luck is about to change.

So this was an introductory chapter. It did a creditable job of working in the exposition into Lando's journey. It really has made a lot of the fact that Lando is hopeless in his ship, and the low-end robots he's forced to use to pilot his ship can't get a fraction of its potential performance out of it. We see his tools in action -- a smooth voice, fine clothes, a talent for acting, a ready wit. A person who thinks on his feet and talks his way out of trouble rather than starting it. Not for him is the Han Solo refusal to be taken alive, and to take reckless chances to avoid capture. Instead, he seems more the type to talk his way out of the problem .. or, if necessary, to gracefully surrender until he can find some way of turning the tables on his captors.

And we see a bit of scoundrel in him in that he tried to sell off his rental bot, only prevented because the mark was wise to him.

So far , we've seen his weakness, that he can't fly a ship. Hopefully next chapter we'll see his strong suit as he gets back into gambling -- but I hope they don't spend too much time either on the rules of Sabacc or the details of the hands. It's not the part of the story that interests me.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Peelee]

Flying through the interior of an unfinished space station.
At high speed.
Which they've never been inside before.

Imean its mostly a lot of straight corridors. And, again, a handful of rebels ajd imperials all enter and only one ship crashes. Im not saying its easy, but it's certainly not the near-impossibility for any but the best of the best of the best like you're making it out to be.

[The Glyphstone]

Kind of a chicken and egg problem, isn't it? Does the lack of crashes show its not a hard flight to make, or does it show how good the pilots were?

[pendell]

What chicken-and-egg problem?



There's no problem. Eggs were definitely around before chickens.

But yeah, I get your point. Still, the licensed games definitely treat it as tough. It's almost always the last mission for which everything else is training. It ain't supposed to be easy and if the movie shows that it is, well, they've only got so much runtime in a three-way battle. The Death Star trench run only had like 4 survivors of the 30 ships committed to the attack and actually flying inside the Death Star II is even worse. In my opinion.

Tongue-in-cheek

Brian P.

[Peelee]

But yeah, I get your point. Still, the licensed games definitely treat it as tough.

I don't know anyone who argued it wasn't tough. I think its not "only the greatest pilots in the universe could handle it and coincidentally all the greatest pilots in the universe, on both sides, flew into it!"

[The Glyphstone]

There's a wide gulf between 'coincidentally', which equally nobody seems to be arguing, and 'the best of the best were specifically chosen for this job'. Characterizing the latter as the former seems a bit unfair.

[Peelee]

There's a wide gulf between 'coincidentally', which equally nobody seems to be arguing, and 'the best of the best were specifically chosen for this job'. Characterizing the latter as the former seems a bit unfair.

The Imperials mandate it be coincidental, though. Unless the best Imperial fighters just happened to know exactly who the best Rebel pilots were, and were tracking them the entire battle until the shields went down and followed them in, then the most likely thing that happened was that whatever pilots were closest at the time followed the rebels in.

This seems a lot more like the first Death Star run, where there are probably multiple Rebel flights who are assigned to take the run, and unlike the first Death Star the first team managed to do it right off the bat.

[pendell]

Moving on!

Chapter 2

A game of Sabacc

Spoiler

Show

Lando successfully talks himself into a card game and finds himself in a place
"the same the galaxy over" -- a small back room, emerald green tabletop, low-hanging lamp,
smoke-filled atmosphere. Only the mingling of smoke varies from system to system.

If it's an honest game, the house gets a cut of the pot and uses some of the proceeds to pay off the local cops.

Lando allows himself to relax -- here is in his element. He knows almost nothing about
starship handling, asteroid mining , or needlepoint. But at this table, he is home.

Time to play to his strength. Let's see what he's made of.

There are three other players:
1) A dough-faced, anonymous little male human wearing the uniform of a starship officer.
2) A stocky, asymetric sapient vegetable who speaks through an electronic synthesizer. He goes by "Phyll". Har , har.
3) A bleached blonde (human female?) hard-bitten, with a thumb-sized life crystal around her neck.

Lando has two of them (Phyll and the woman, I think) pegged as house card sharps whose job it is to win as much as possible, then split the take with the owner. Lando wins the first hand,
then deliberately loses the next few to keep from panicking away the bettors. He is a slow and cautious player. There is a cocktail glass of alcohol beverage by his elbow, but it sents gently in its ice while Lando plays; he has barely touched his drink. He conspicuously loses low-probability, small bets but makes slow and gradual gains. The money in front of him continues to grow.

The starship officer must be the fresh meat at the table, because all too soon he is almost out.
He offers Lando a cargo of life-crystals in lieu of cash for the next bid. Lando is reluctant,
but Phyll talks him into it. A hold of life-crystals is restricted, could be smuggling trouble,
but at last Lando accepts the deal. The officer lasts two more hands before putting down his cards and handing Lando a bill of lading for the aforementioned cargo. Lando, now holding
17,000 credits, nearly the price of his ship, also exits the game.

Lando reminds me of a fisherman -- he seems to pull in all kinds of interesting things at the cards table. The Millenium Falcon. A robot. A cargo.

Lando is thrilled. This is what he lives for. Let other people sweat moving boxes and landing
permits and cargo manifests. He, a gambler, doesn't need these things.

It's a great story, less so in real life. I read up on real-life professional gamblers once. Most of them are up to their eyeballs in debt, and are welcome in casinos because they are good publicity. There's no such thing as big wins at a casino. If you win too impressively, you get "back-roomed", as the kids from MIT found out, which typically results in being permanently banned. I suppose it could be made to work if you take care to win only a moderate amount of money at many places, but even then it's a risky business.

Still, Lando has chosen just the right game for his gambling career. Sabacc appears to be based on Blackjack. Each player is dealt three cards, and may exchange them. The first player to get closest to, but not over, 23 wins the game. The science-fiction wrinkle is that there is a random chance every turn that all the cards in all players hands will randomly shift in value. According to wookiepedia, there is an "isolation field" in which a player may place one of their three cards.

Blackjack, it turns out, is the one and only casino game that gives you decent odds . Although in this case it's still better
because the house isn't in the game -- you can only lose to the other players, as in poker, while the house profits from every hand by taking a cut of the proceeds from the pot, whoever
wins.

It's also mentioned, in passing, that Lando is "reasonably honest". By this I think it means he's not a cheater, relies on his own skill, but that doesn't mean he's above taking an advantge if someone offers it. He IS being somewhat dishonest in pretending to be a yokel who knows nothing about gambling, but he plays the cards laid in front of him straight.

So: Lando is a successful gambler. Time to have a look at his winnings.
As he travels, he has one hand on his holdout blaster. This doesn't seem like a terribly rough town but a stranger walking around with 17,000 credits on his person in cash can't be too careful.

First stop is to see his new robot, which unfolds when he opens the rental locker in which it is stashed. It is called Vuffi Raa .



Vuffi is described as a meter tall, an attenuated starfish with sinuous manipulators which function as both arms and legs. They are seamed to a dinner-plate-sized pentagonal torso
with a single multi-faceted, deep red eye. The entire assembly is covered in jointing, glittering, polished chromium. Lando finds the droid's appearance tacky.

They walk together to Shaaru, ostensibly the finest hotel in this town. As they travel, Lando
asks questions: Aren't androids supposed to be humanoid? And why does Vuffy have a name rather than a number?

Vuffi explains that both these things are still true: He is created in the exact image of the organic species that manufactured him, and his name IS a number in their language. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember any of this; his first memory is of being pulled out of a cargo crate during a pirate attack in deep space. The attack damaged him, seemingly, so he has no recall of anything before this point.

Lando makes up his mind to sell off both Vuffi Rau and the Falcon before leaving this planet, as they are both expensive curiosities who, he believes, will cost more in upkeep than could possibly provide in benefit.

They enter their room. Lando doesn't need a servant, so Vuffy settles in a corner while Lando lies down to consider the commercial possibilities of this planet. It seems he isn't just a gambler. There are a number of portable artifacts left by the ancients which museums will pay dearly for, tools and handcrafts of the indigenous locals, locally manufactured goods.

He considers this possibility, then back to the other plan: Sell everything, ride a starliner on. Thus thinking, he drifts to sleep ..

... and is woken up at o-dark-thirty when his door is kicked in. It's the local law.
Lando is extremely careful, cautious, talking smoothly to keep things calm , but the cops aren't
interested in being civil. They methodically beat him to a pulp despite his protests. Vuffi Rau
is incapable of intervening, and in too short a time Lando loses consciousness.

Reading the article on Sabacc , it appears the game was invented in this very book and later saw references throughout the Legends-era EU so points to L. Neil Smith for that.

That was an interesting chapter with an unfortunate reversal. Lando appears to have had a bad case of Living While Black which drew the local law down to give him grief. I have a hard time imagining racial discrimination in an age when there are so many aliens in the universe, but then you never see Han being beat up like this.

Then again, part of the reason we don't see Han getting clobbered is because Han as a giant Wookieeeeee (forget how many es) as a partner wherever he goes, which tends to keep tempers calm where a smooth voice won't.

Still, in this chapter Lando shows off his special skills: Gambling and diplomacy. It's easy to see how he became the owner/operator of his own mine at Cloud City while Han was fleeing one step ahead of bounty hunters anxious to collect on the debts he owed. Lando is calm, rational,
not given to rash decisions, not likely to go running off on impulse. Whereas Han would probably
gain and lose countless fortunes, Lando would slowly and steadily grow his own.

A gambling story isn't really my thing, but it's definitely entertaining so far. Next week we'll see what the local cops have in store for him. Look forward to it!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[The Glyphstone]

I'm going to lay 10 credits that the LE were sent after him by either the guy who bet his life crystals, or the game house's operators looking to recover Lando's winnings. He's obviously an off-worlder so unlikely to have friends, it could have even been a deliberate setup by the bartender to entrap gullible yokes like the one Lando pretended to be.

[Peelee]

I'm going to lay 10 credits that the LE were sent after him by either the guy who bet his life crystals, or the game house's operators looking to recover Lando's winnings. He's obviously an off-worlder so unlikely to have friends, it could have even been a deliberate setup by the bartender to entrap gullible yokes like the one Lando pretended to be.

Its been a while since ive read it so i cant be too confident here. But i can think of at least one bet I'd like to place, if you're interested.

[pendell]

Having just finished the Han Solo adventures, I can't help but ask: WWHD (What would Han do)?

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If this were a Han Solo adventure, the plot hook would be different. Of course Han has no talent with cards so he wouldn't have come to this planet following that lead. However, if life-crystals are licensed, I'll wager there are smugglers of same. As a rule, in this situation the monopoly-holders pay the producers in the fields next to nothing, then turn around and charge the off-planet consumers as much as the traffic will bear. Thus, there is definitely a desire on the part of the producers to get money for their product closer to the galactic-standard value than the pittance the company pays, and a desire on the part of off-planet consumers to get it for less than the company charges. And to facilitate this exchange, illicit in the eyes only of company law but fair in the eyes of the wider universe, which demands that workers be paid what they're worth, enter the smuggler.

You've also gotta assume a product that quintuples human life span, yet can only be produced in this one system, is a very high-value product indeed. I'm a bit surprised half the wealthy families in the core aren't patrons, and that the planet isn't already under Imperial control. Palpatine is getting on in years -- you'd think a drug that increases his life span by a factor of 3 or more would be something he would want, badly.

So Han, always on the lookout for a cargo and always on the make , would find work running just such an illegal cargo. That would bring him to this planet. It's unlikely he would acquire Vuffy Ray as a companion, since he already has Chewbacca. But if Vuffi is indispensable from the story aspect, then we'd have to find some way for the contractor to loan him to Han for the mission.

If Han and Lando are being manipulated by some puppeteer, then it's just as easy for the puppeteer to find some phony front company or small-time player to pose as a smuggler contact as it would for him to impersonate a losing gambler, if that is what is happening.

The other side is that Han is a lot more violent and impulsive than Lando is; I don't think he's ever tamely surrendered to law enforcement. Repeatedly in the course of his trilogy he got into a no-win situation and was determined to go down fighting, forcing his opponents to kill him, only to be saved by plot contrivance. If it weren't for the Rebellion changing his fate, Han and Chewie seem destined for a Bolivian Army Ending .

Yet he works in a high-risk business where there's a non-trivial probability of either local law or other criminals (such as J'uoch) kicking in their hotel door in the dark hours. I can only assume Han avoids this by not staying in a hotel -- instead, he would probably stay on the Falcon itself. That way, if rude callers come unannounced, they get a face full of blaster fire from the Falcon's turrets followed by a wash of fusion engine exhaust as the Falcon majestically soars off into space.

So if you're going to capture Han, you need more than a detachment of ground troops. You also need to have some way of neutralizing his ship, either by having an infiltrator sabotage it or by having a powerful patrol starship essentially hover over it, threatening to blow it to dust if it takes off.

Which brings up to the last point -- there is no way Han would ever part with his ship. To Lando, a ship is a conveyance, a tool, to be used and discarded at need. Whereas to Han, his ship is his life, to which he is bonded more tightly than he's been to any human romantic interest. His ship is his freedom and his partner. Like Mal in Serenity, Han's home is his ship and his crew is his family, and he won't part with either so long as there is still breath in him.

I rather liked that; maybe that's why I was a fan of both Han and of Mal.

That brings up another point: Han is a man of violence but he's also a man of passionate loves. He has a great, passionate love for both his ship and for his partner. What does Lando love, besides himself?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[pendell]

So, skimming ahead, it looks like there are approximately twice as many chapters
in each book as there were in the Han Solo novels. Since I don't want to be reading
these for an entire year, let's see if we can take the chapters two at a time.

Chapters 3, 4
Exposition Ahoy! The villains arrive

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The chapters starts with Lando in the governor's office clad only in his pajamas. He has also been thoroughly, professionally beaten. No permanent damage, but his entire body is one
long sore.

The governor, Duttes Mer, is described as "squat, ugly, and powerful". "Thickly muscled,
improbably broad, resembling .. a weathered tree stump with crowned in fine, almost feathery
hair".

No image available.

Lando also notices that the carpet is expensive and imported, compared to the rest
of the office, which is spare and utilitarian. A working office, not a thronelike
Hall of Audience. Lando files this information for consideration when he has in mind.


The governor's voice is high-pitched, feeble, and seems nervous -- altogether
more nervous than would seem to be appropriate, given the circumstances. He's given no time to develop the thought, however.


All in all, Lando concludes, sizing him up, this is a man who would play his cards close to his
chest; a remorseless, implacable player who will nonetheless squeal for mercy like a rat in a
trap if the tables are turned. Useful to know, but these are not weaknesses Lando can leverage,
supported and restrained as he is by multiple guards.

The governor opens up by warning Lando he is on the hook for serious charges, breaches of law. Lando, after an initial sarcastic remark, smoothes his tongue and politely states he is unaware
of any lawbreaking. All the time he looks over his adversary and his office, searching for clues
to the man's makeup -- plain, mostly undecorated, holos on the wall showing scenes from other worlds --

-- then it hits Lando. His desk. The desk , transparent, is composed entirely of gigantic
life-crystals. The power to extend the lives of several hundred intelligent beings is
contained in that one desk. Power, then, is the keyy to Governor Duttes Mer. Not money.
Not display. That explains the plain and unremarkable office. Power is his lodestone and
his desire. Time to put that to work.

The governor pulls out the list of charges, a few of which are true, some of which are grey areas which need to be stretched to be construed as crimes, and some are outright fiction;
the governor has altered the landing records to make it appear Lando has set down without
permit or clearance or length of stay, none of which are true. Lando realizes, however, that he is over a barrel. None of this is stuff that an honest prosecutor would care about, and would dismiss in ten minutes. This is malice on the governor's part -- deliberately attempting to throw any possible charge that would stick, to the point of suppressing evidence to make the case.

So: Ante up. Lando defends himself against some of the charges while acknowledging the truth of others.

Raise: The governor suggests a sentence to the life-orchards.

Lando demurs, and then calls the hand: "I'd also say you're about to offer me a less
unpleasant alternative. That is, unless you make a custom of trumping up silly charges
against every independent skipper which makes your port. And I guess I'd have heard about it
long before I got here."

He's guessed correctly. A few minutes later he is sitting comfortable as the governor's chest,
enjoying a relaxing tea, while the guards fetch his clothes from the suite so he can
conduct negotiations in a more civilized fashion.

The servant bringing the tea is a Taka, one of the indigenous peoples of Rafa. The governor discusses them with some interest. "Domestic animals, really, nothing more. Useful as household
servants, they're too unintelligent to be anything but discreet. And harvesting the life-orchards. But nothing else. ... [they are called] the Broken People. Every one has the signs of advanced age upon their bodies, but these they carry from birth. ... the Toka are content to eat food intended for animals, and will quite willingly work themselves to death if that is demanded of them."

... Except ...

... except that , if any human or other intelligent creature is put in the life-orchards for any length of time, they show the exact same symptoms. That's why most human prisoners are supervisory capacity only; Those rare "specials" assigned to permanent menial labor alongside of the Toka become just like them, unintelligent, devoid of whatever spark or aggressiveness that makes people "people".

Conclusion? The governor drops the bombshell: The Toka are as human as we are.

Wha--? Really? Then why do you enslave them, if you believe that? Do you have a plan to restore their humanity to them..? Why are you telling me this?

Speculation

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I'm guessing that the life-orchards absorb the life/chi/"spark" or whatever it is from the people laboring in the orders, and this draining leaves the drained sapients the shambling
barely-functional specimens we encounter. As part of its lifecycle, the chi thus drained is transferred to the crystals, which can then be used to rejuvenate those who receive it. A form of vampirism at one remove.

Continuing.

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At this point the chapter ends when a cloud of smoke goes KABOOM next to the governor's desk and I think a bomb's been thrown in, wondering what OTHER faction could be in this mess ...

... only to be disappointed. It's not a bomb. It's another character making a grand entrance. Rokur Gepta, a Sorcerer of Tund.




'Sorcerer of Tund'?

Lando exposits in his thoughts for the audience: A mysterious and ancient order from the Tund system, given to flashy entrances. Nobody knows what species they are and this one, contra the image, is completely swathed in gray robes which hide all his features save his eyes. The eyes, Lando notes with a shiver,"twin whirling pools of ... insane hunger of some sort. These ravenous depths regard him for a moment as if he were an insect to be crushed."

A joy, a Voldemort clone. Just what I needed in my SF. I see from the first line of the wiki article -- which I pointedly did NOT read , not wanting to be spoiled -- that he has been retconned as a Force Sensitive. Even so, this is too much fantasy in my science fantasy.

Not-Voldemort is in a hurry and presses the governor to tell the tale. But the governor is so
intimidated he can say nothing, so Not-Voldemort begins filling in the details himself.

The Toka, it seems, practice an ancient system of beliefs which may go a long way to explaining their current state, and also promise rewards to the daring and well-prepared. Getting ahead of ourselves, they need an adventurer to grab a Macguffin, and Lando's it. But I suppose we're getting ahead of ourselves.

The governor, meanwhile, orders a servant to bring the wizard-wannabe a chair, but the creature CANNOT approach Gepta. The governor takes it from the servant but he himself, has nearly as much trouble getting close, so heavy is the feeling of malice around the "Sorcerer". But the deed is done.

So , on with the exposition.

Rafa was settled in pre-Republic times and the records are fragmentary. The Toka, however, were already there to be found by the first human colonists. Not-Voldemort has been studying them for decades , employing anthropologists, ethnologists, and similar scientists, many of them prisoners on the planet laboring in exchange for a reduction of their sentence. From this study he has learned of the Toka oral history. To hear them tell it, they were also
interstellar colonists once upon a time. They were the first people to arrive, and they encountered the true original inhabitants of the planet, the Sharu, the makers of the great ruins and the many, many artifacts.

The Sharu, however, departed , apparently from some threat of which we know nothing beyond the fact the Sharu fled from it, whatever it was. And after they left. The Toka were the "broken people" we know today. Were they broken by contact with the Sharu? Did the Sharu's departure
"break" them? Or did the same event break the Toka and frighten off the Sharu? Again, we know nothing except what the Toka tell in their oral tradition, which isn't much.

So, to the point!

Not-Voldemort brings out an object which looks like a three-tined fork -- or perhaps four? , it blurs and is hard to look at properly -- but it is undoubtedly a Shaaru artifact, "obtained"
from a museum in another system by devious means, but it originally came from here. It is, Not-Voldemort believes, the Key which will provide access to the Mindharp of Shaaru.

The "mindharp", the focus of a thousand Toka rituals, is said to be a kind of musical instrument, but one which can control the thoughts and emotions of everyone within a solar system. It is likely that the Toka fell under the sway of this artifact , and that is why
they are currently broken, as it is no longer functioning properly. Perhaps.

Rokur Gepta wants that Mindharp. And Lando is the person who's going to bring it to him.

Now the negotiations begin. Lando quite reasonably asks what's in it for him? Rokur replies: His life, his liberty. The governor adds: And his ship.

Lando demurs; he intends to sell the ship. Not-Voldemort vetoes this; he will need the ship to
explore the system and find whatever-it-is that the Key unlocks. So he has to keep the ship at least for now.

Lando raises the ante just a bit: His life and liberty are absolutely things he wants, but
he had those things when he entered this system. What can they give him so he can come out
ahead?

The governor balks, but Rokur seeks sense. Carrot as well as stick. He offers a full cargo
of life-crystals, not merely the tiny unauthorized shipment he acquired in his game of chance
(and was one of the charges that brought him to this office). Wealth to last several lifetimes.
Lando observes that's a large hold to paper over, but Rokur, waving at Governor Mer, dismisses the problem. "That's what bureaucrats are for".

After more dickering Not-Voldemort agrees to put the cargo on the ship immediately as a show of good faith. However, the Millenium Falcon will have its hyperdrives , primary and backup, deactivated. It will only have sublight speed until the contract is complete.

Lando isn't happy about this because he is still being held "on the hook" to complete his contract, whatever else befall, but it's the best deal he's going to get. So he agrees.
"It beats sitting in jail", he says.

Hmm. Frankly, I don't think the villains have any intent of allowing Lando to go free. Quite aside from the malice they exudes which implies they aren't the type to deal fairly, there's also the issue that the sorcerer -- Rokur Gepta -- is the power behind the throne in this system, a secret to almost everyone. I notice, though I didn't mention it at the time, that he didn't enter the room until it was only Lando, Governor Mer, and the unspeaking servant. If his existence is a secret, then the fact he showed himself to Lando implies Lando will be in no position to tell anyone tales when this is all done. If I were Lando, I'd be looking for ways to get away from this system as soon as possible.

I find fascinating how Lando's skill as a gambler informs all his interactions
with other people -- the ability he's gained sizing up a player serve him well
sizing up people in law enforcement and risky situations also. I wonder if this
is partly what he was doing in Cloud City -- deliberately playing out a hand with
Darth Vader and making the best of a bad hand?

Actually, what happens in this chapter is not at all different from the events in Cloud City. In this chapter, the villains have Lando over a barrel and he has no choice but to play along until the opportunity comes along to turn the tables in his favor. I originally hated his guts
as a traitor back when the movie came out, but this novel is successfully making me think
better of his character. So job well done, Mr. Smith.

Speaking of Darth Vader -- it appears we've met our Sith Lord equivalent and his
mundane governing flunky, the Piett-equivalent. I gotta admit my first thought was:
"Ya gotta be kidding me. This ain't your story and this ain't your genre. Shouldn't you
bu**er off to Hogwarts to harass preteen wizards or something?"

"

So now we've got our quest hook and our villains. How will Lando turn the tables and come out rich?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[DataNinja]

Yeah, that is one thing that I remember about the Lando books - there's definitely more of an element of the fantastical, beyond even what could be expected from the Force. Absolutely some of the weirder early bits of (Legends) canon.

Edit: Ah, looking into it, part of it's because of executive meddling. The Sith were apparently off-limits at the time to use, so the Sorcerers of Tund were used as a "serial numbers filed off, this isn't actually a dark force user" getting around the problem.

[pendell]

So I'm ready for the next installment.

Chapter 5, 6
Lando goes bar crawling

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The chapter opens with Lando reuniting with Vuffi Raa, who had spent an uncomfortable night in the police Confiscated items storage, sandwiched between illegal drugs on one hand and a large basket full of collected street weapons on the other. As part of this he learned that the skillet is the most common murder weapon in this city, at least when between domestic partners.

Lando doesn't bother to hide his contempt for Vuffi. He needs help and, so far, Vuffi has only proven himself useful as a suitcase caddy and an audio recorder. Vuffi asks if Lando wishes he had been able to defend him last night, despite this being a violation of his programming on an extremely fundamental level. Lando does indeed wish that.

"You are saying, then," Vuffi asks, "that violence is the only solution to this problem , the only capability useful to you in a friend or companion?"

Lando doesn't believe that, but he doesn't have a good answer and so says nothing. He himself
obviously doesn't believe that, which is why he only carries a small personal weapon; only a fool would limit himself to thinking of his own fists or those of a friend.

That's odd, when did he start thinking of Vuffi as a friend.

When Vuffi planted the word on you , of course, and you picked up the association. If done deliberately, that was quite clever on Vuffi Raa's part.

Now, their next job is to find the key to this lock. Vuffi proposes visiting the public library, but Lando has a different plan in mind. If there was anything in the public library, then Not-Voldemort would already know it, and probably had it purged out. And he doesn't know.
There's only one group of people how know anything about the Key and its lock, and that is the Toka, the planet's indigenous inhabitants.

He doesn't fancy the idea of trying to pursue them into life-orchards where his own mind can be damaged. But there IS one social place where he can encounter Toka -- every bar in this town hires Toka as janitors and sweepers. They are as cheap or cheaper than droids, and many bars don't allow droids of ANY kind.

I don't get this bigotry against droids in the GFFA. Is it supposed to be a stand-in for 20th century segregation, when dark-skinned Americans were denied entrance to bars, schools, and many other places? It's certainly true that droids fill roughly the same niche in society that slaves did pre-1865.

Speculation over. Time to go bar crawling.

Lando visits several. In each one he orders a drink, which is either caffeine or some concoction he utterly detests, since that way he won't mind re-icing and nursing it the whole evening. Then, once the Toka cleaner is in view, removing the Key and fiddling with it, to see if he can get a reaction.

He hits up hard-rock miner bars, tourist bars, and it's in the fourth one -- the Spaceman's Rest, a spacer bar -- that he hits paydirt.

The Toka employee then approaches him and, in an ecstasy of religious rapture that I will skip, hails Lando as the Key Bearer.

Wait... I'm getting flashbacks ...

Surely This isn't how the key will be used?

At any rate, this person is the first Toka to identify himself -- Mohs, High Singer. And he is in seeming ecstasy at the sight of the key , hailing Lando in obsequious terms as Key Bearer. Playing along, Lando tells Mohs the time has come for a religious pilgrimmage, and he asks Mohs to guide him to the place where the key can be used.

Mohs agrees, and we are just about to depart when a dude with a gun bursts into the bar and sticks it in Lando's face, shouting "Get ready to die!"

The author really likes his cliff-hangers, doesn't he? I wonder if this is written in an episodic format originally?

So, Lando has done his investigation -- rather cleverly done, actually -- and now he has a lead. Banter with Vuffi which may or may not be a Chekhov's Robot for some character development on Vuffi's part.

Some of the religious dialog is giving me .. well, we can't discuss nonfiction so I'll just point to the various Order Of The Elucidated Brethren and knock-offs in Pratchett's Guards! Guards! Middle-class smiths and merchants dressing up in funny robes and having dreadful ceremonies in which the most terrifying (but not especially serious) threats of putting one's figgin* on a spike for breaking the secrecy of the order. Except there are about ten or eleven orders just like that meeting in rooms nearby in the same rented building.

Anyway, it is giving me that feel.

I suppose the adventure will continue, and we'll find out whether this guy with the gun is going to be a member of our party, or just a momentary obstacle to be knocked over in three paragraphs. Until then!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

* A pastry?

[runeghost]

Yeah, that is one thing that I remember about the Lando books - there's definitely more of an element of the fantastical, beyond even what could be expected from the Force. Absolutely some of the weirder early bits of (Legends) canon.

Edit: Ah, looking into it, part of it's because of executive meddling. The Sith were apparently off-limits at the time to use, so the Sorcerers of Tund were used as a "serial numbers filed off, this isn't actually a dark force user" getting around the problem.

Eh, I'm okay with that aspect of it. Later SW EU (running up through current games) has given us quite a bit of "any sufficiently advanced use of The Force is indistinguishable from magic". See the Witches of Dathomir, for example. It's a big galaxy, SW is hardly "hard" SF, and "Sorcerer of Tund" totally sounds like the sort of backwater baddie a Lensman would run into.

[runeghost]

So I'm ready for the next installment.

Chapter 5, 6
Lando goes bar crawling

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Mohs agrees, and we are just about to depart when a dude with a gun bursts into the bar and sticks it in Lando's face, shouting "Get ready to die!"

The author really likes his cliff-hangers, doesn't he? I wonder if this is written in an episodic format originally?

This part has me wondering if Smith has taken Raymond Chandler's writing dictum to heart: “When in doubt have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand.”

[pendell]

'm a big Star Wars fan, so I'm definitely down to give the Lando Calrissien adventures a read! Does anyone have any recommendations for which books to start with?

So far as I know, it's a trilogy sold in a single volume. Amazon has it .

Chapters 7 and 8. When last we were here, Lando was being confronted by an angry
man in a bar with a gun.

Chapters 7, 8
Where there is a bar, there must be a bar fight

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So Lando had just made contact with Mohs, a High Singer of the Taka, who had agreed to take
him to the place the key could be used, when a guy barges into the bar -- the Spaceman's Rest --
and threatens Lando with a gun.

The bartender robot seeks to calm the man down, addressing him as "Mr. Jandler", who has been permanently barred from this establishment.

"Mr. Jandler", 85 kilos, just under 2 meters tall, broad frame, powder-blue jumpsuit on top of which is dark blue tunic and neckcloth. Neat, clean, shaved, which is odd in a thug. It seems he's the previous owner of the bar, and he appears to have sold it on the understanding that there would be no droids in the establishment. The current owner evidently remembers differently, but here the guy is with a big ball of rage on his shoulder. It's hard to tell which way his violence will break -- at Lando, at the Taka sitting with him, at the bartender -- but it's a tough situation.

Lando shouts "Sic 'em, Vuffy Ra!"

Vuffy doesn't have a face, but the body language is very perplexed as Jandler turns his attention to him. As he does, Lando takes advantage of the distraction to nudge a chair over to the bartender with his toe. The droid bartender promptly picks it up and smacks Jandler over the head with it! Jandler goes down like a sack of grain.

"Glad not all droids are programmed against violence", Lando quips.

"Only against starting them, sir". Responds the robot bartender.

Lando basks in the adoration of the rest of the pub's customers when he notices the key is missing! And so is Mohs! He catches the grey robes fleeing just out of the corner of his eye and sets off in pursuit.

The Taka, alas, are the "broken people" and show signs of advanced age even at birth, so MOhs has no chance of either outrunning or outfighting Lando, though he definitely tries both. Lando is surprised -- this is the first evidence he's seen in the Taka of drive, of aggressive spirit.

So here we are back to plan A -- everyone will go to the Falcon and then to the Keyhole, which I suppose is what we must call our intended destination. Mohs will travel separately from us. Apparently it will not do for a Taka to travel in the company of offworlders.

Lando and Vuffi take a bus to the airport, to meet Mohs there with a crowd of other Toka chanting a song. Lando is puzzling over a lot of things in his mind -- just what was that in the bar, anyway? And why do the governor and his Not-Voldemort need him to do their work anyway? The pieces just don't add up.

So, the Toka are here. Lando can't guess how Mohs beat a speeder the ten kilometers to the starport, but here he is. And, at the Falcon, there are two squads of police, as well as several speeder freight vehicles with overhead lights. It would appear they are finishing their business of de-activating the Falcon's hyperdrive.

He meets an officer with Captain's ranking marks as he prepares to enter the ship. This person was part of the arrest party which had brought him in to the governor and beaten him senseless in the process. "Just following orders", the voice from within the helmet says. "No hard feelings"?

Lando remarks no hard feelings, "maybe someday I'll do the same for you", at which the officer laughs and allows them to enter the ship.

It's a mess. Their mechanic job of de-activating the hyperdrive has left a mess of parts everywhere. Vuffi Ra is horrified. Lando is not, remarking it's only a machine, and this remark Vuffi Ra takes strong exception to. "Only" a machine? He's a machine too!

Mohs sings for Lando the song of the Emissary, describing the one who shall bring the Key, Vuffi, observes, in passing , that the officer at the foot of the gangplank was none other than "Mr. Jandler". The head of the arrest party last night -- the guy in the bar -- and the officer sabotaging the Falcon are all one and the same person.

Lando asks Mohs for the short version of the Song of the Emissary. It boils down to "a dark adventurer, a star-sailor with preternatural luck at games of chance, who shall come with a weird inhuman companion in silvery armour arrayed."

It hits Lando -- they've been set up! Gepta (Not Voldemort) must have been watching the port for months for a spacer fitting that profile, and that's why they need Lando -- neither of them fit the specifications of the Toka legend.

Then what was that mess in the bar? The only thing I can think is that "Mr. Jandler" is a completely made-up persona, and the robot bartender must have been in on the gag, since it obviously would have known the local police chief on sight. That, or the robot was deliberately programmed with false memories, which is not impossible.

I suppose the entire point of that incident was to create a diversion to allow Mohs to steal the key. But why? It doesn't seem very likely that the police chief is acting on his own in conspiracy with Mohs against the governor and Gepta. If it was done on the governor's orders, Why couldn't Not-Voldemort have simply given the key to Mohs, legend notwithstanding?

Very interesting that the legend describes Lando so accurately. Plot contrivance aside, it implies the makers of the Legend had a degree of Force Prescience which would allow them to foretell the future.

Perhaps it will make more sense when we have more clues.

So ... the obligatory barfight is out of the way, Lando still gets kicked around by everyone in authority, just like in Empire, but it's good to see he and Vuffy are starting to form an effective companionship. Lando isn't really an interesting enough character to carry a novel solo. At least, not as written here.

So I guess this concludes Act 1 of our adventure, and now its time for Act 2, when we explore the wilderness for the place to use the key. Will there be a wilderness segment, or will we skip to the dungeon?

I guess we'll find out next time. Look forward to it!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[DataNinja]

So ... the obligatory barfight is out of the way, Lando still gets kicked around by everyone in authority, just like in Empire, but it's good to see he and Vuffy are starting to form an effective companionship. Lando isn't really an interesting enough character to carry a novel solo. At least, not as written here.

Lando definitely feels like he's an adventurer who doesn't really want to adventure. He knows what he wants, and this really isn't it (what 'it' is, is mostly a comfortable and extravagant lifestyle, maybe with the trappings of adventure). And that's a concept that can really only carry things so far on its own. So, yes, Vuufi Raa provides a nice other personality for him to bounce off of.

[pendell]

So now it's time to follow our NPC guide to the dungeon .. or will we?

Chapters 9, 10
Over Hill and Under Snow

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Vuffi spends the night tinkering with the ship while Mohs and Lando get some sleep.

WORLDBUILDING NOTE: We are told that sapient robots need sleep -- and the more intelligent they are the more sleep they need -- but Lando has never dug deeply into the question. It remains to be seen whether this will be a plot point or not.

Incidentally, every time I write "Vuffi" I keep wanting to say "Yuffie"


And I'm strongly tempted to substitute this final fantasy character in for the actual robot, because it gives me the giggles. Don't be surprised if I slip.

The Millenium Falcon lifts off from Rafa 4 and set course, on Mohs' instructions, for Rafa 5, the next planet out. Ground control compliments the takeoff, which is textbook-perfect; the pilot is Vuffi, who is a MUCH better pilot than Lando is.

CHARACTER NOTE: We are told that Lando, not wanting to be outdone, is reading and re-reading the Falcon's flight manuals, adding points to his Pilot skill. Perhaps he doesn't want to be outdone by a robot.

Lando, looking up at a white dot visible through the cockpit observation port, points to it and asks if that is their destination. Old Holy Man Mohs responds as follows:

"The fifth planet of the Rafa system; it possesseth two natural satellites, a breathable atmosphere, and approximately nine-tenths of a standard gravity, not unlike Rafa IV beneath us, whence we came, except in the matter of the moons."

Lando goggles at this and ask how Mohs knows this. Mohs has it memorized from the history chants of his people of course. That was one. He has 7.623x10^4 chance memorized.

10^4 ... move the decimal point to the right four times -- 76230 chants?

...

Forget this "subidiot" categorization of the Taka. This guy is a Mentat, a sapient able to function as a computer. That's the second parallel we've had with the Dune universe in these books, along with the lifegiving product which comes from only ONE planet in the entire universe. Does that make Lando the Kwisatz Haderach?

Still, I wonder how this works. I don't think the Taka are faking the debilitating effect of the life-orchards, not when it affects offworld sapients the same way. Given we saw him working in a bar in town, it's probable he's never actually worked in the life orchards and thus retains the intellect and spirit which Taka would normally possess, but he pretends to subnormal intelligent in town under cover as a menial worker. It's possible that there's a considerable minority -- maybe even a majority -- of Taka who retain their full capabilities.

It reminds me of slavery in America, where it was common for slaves to pretend to be significantly more stupid and unmotivated than they really were. This played directly to the prejudices of their owners. This benefited the slaves, because if the owners are dismissing them as beneath their notice than they aren't fearfully watching out for a revolt, killing or selling slaves on the slightest pretext. It also allows a form of passive resistance -- if the owners believe the slaves are stupid, then they won't believe they are being deliberately denied labor, a form of soft strike, when that is exactly what is happening.

It appears this is what the Taka are doing as well; while those in the life orchards really are debilitated to idiocy, same as any other sapient, the flaw of the overseers is they think ALL taka are like this, and there is at least one who isn't, because he's never worked in the life-orchards, doing menial labour in town instead.

On with the story. But, yeah, this guy is a lot smarter than he's let on.

Lando wonders why he's being sent on this trip when Not-Voldemort and his puppet governor should have done it themselves; file that away to consider for later.

They arrive in orbit of Rafa 5 and being to experience impacts. Damage occurs to the Millenium Falcon and neither Lando nor Yuffie know what's going on. Yuffie pivots the Falcon's heavily-armored dorsal side to face the oncoming, and this minimizes the damage, though it is clear work will need to be done to the ship. Minor damage only at this point, however.

Lando, who again has been improving his pilot skills, asks Yuffie why he didn't raise the deflectors, and he is surprised; he just hadn't thought of it.

They find one of the objects that has impacted the Falcon -- a cut-glass tumbler of some kind. Vuffi deduces the answer to the riddle: Mohs' songs say that Rafa 5 is the original homeworld of the Shaaru. Therefore, they must have first learned spaceflight on this planet, which means it will be surrounded by a debris ring from those early attempts -- space suits, derelict satellites, objects discarded by spacecraft preparatory to re-entry. An archaeologist's gold mine.

Also, I think we owe L. Neil Smith a moment of recognition as I think this is the first recognition of Orbital debris as a serious problem; I don't recall hearing about it before the 90s in a nonfiction context, but here we see Smith was aware of the problem in 1983. Unusual for an SF writer, so he gets a few respect points from me.

We are told that Rafa 5, while habitable, is a secondary planet in the current human civilization. Rafa 4 is shirt-sleeve comfortable at any latitude, but Rafa 5 is colder, drier, and far less comfortable. There are life-orchards here, and stations which cultivate them, but nothing else of note.

On Moh's instructions, they land at the foot of a pyramid which is described thus:

"A literal mountain of smooth impervious plastic that served no discernible function ... five facets, the angles not particularly uniform, giving the construct an eerie, dangerous, lopsided look. Each face as a brilliant different color: magenta, apricot, mustard, aquamarine, turquoise, lavender. "

Yuffie warns that the humidity in this region is less than two percent; Lando should carry significant water supplies. Lando agrees, donning cold-weather gear including an electrically heated parka, a blaster rifle with many additional clips in his pockets, and a deck of card chips.

Mohs refuses the offer of warm clothing, preferring to remain in his loincloth.

The three disembark from the Falcon but have hardly retracted the Falcon's ramp when the party is struck by a hail of crossbow bolt-like projectiles.

Yuffie is struck as full of a pincushion and is inactivated, bleeding lubricant copiously.

NOOO! NOT MY FAVORITE CHEERFUL NINJA! YOU B***TARDS!

Mohs and Lando are untouched. Lando unslings his blaster rifle but, before he could do anything else , gets a bolt right down the bore. The weapon is useless.

That's really good shooting on someone's part. Like, even a modern sniper with a custom weapon would be hard-put to make such a shot.

Lando goes for his concealed pistol but , before he can, Mohs shouts:

"Stand where you are, 'Lord'! If you resist you will die before you draw another breath."

At this point fifty Toka emerge from ambush positions in the surrounding terrain. Lando is their prisoner.


Yeah , these people are a lot smarter and capable than they pretend to be.

Mohs demands the Key. Lando refuses. Lando wonders just how this ambush was set up ... Mohs hasn't been near a communicator recently.

There doesn't have to be a mystery here. Mohs was away from Lando from the time Lando left the Spaceman's Rest to the time he arrived at the Falcon; plenty of time to converse with a conspirator possessing a signalling device to radio to this planet to prepare a reception committee at a predetermined rendezvous point. Although how Mohs got to the ship faster than Lando remains a mystery.

Mohs attempts to intimidate Lando, but Lando deduces that they will neither harm him nor take the key from him against his will. Religious reasons, perhaps? Anyway, if they WERE prepared to kill him they should already have done so without so much talk. So Lando has nothing to gain by refusing, which he does.

Very well, Mohs says. Time for us all to take a walk.

At first, Lando tries a number of ways to resist, but he quickly discovers that his captors have very quick reactions and superlative, superhuman aim. He has no choice but to go along with them wherever they wish to go. On the way, he notices that their weapons, which he thought were crossbows , are not. They are a spring-loaded weapon with hinged arms and are magazine-fed, with perhaps 6 shots in a clip. The weapons are not individually powerful, but the speed and rapidity with which a high volume of them can be delivered to a small target compensates for this. They certainly have the ability to kill Lando at any time, should they choose.

They march him to a life-orchard. There is a bit of description of the trees here, but it's two pages so I'm not going to add it here. The key point is that they appear to be cybernetic constructs, a combination of organic life and solid-state electronics. It is hard to see how they, or anything, can grow on Rafa 5 which,again, points to an artificial origin for this hybrid life. On each there are thousands of life-crystals of various sizes. Remove one , which must be done with a laser, and another will replace it in a year. They do somehow seed and spread like organic trees, however.

As they march, the Toka sing. Sometimes slow songs, sometimes fast songs, but never in time with the pace, which causes Lando to stumble more than once. Their way of thinking is, in this fashion, quite alien to him.

At last, they arrive, wherever "here" is.

At this point, Mohs addresses Lando: "Imposter, hear me: We are forbidden to remove the holy key from the key bearer, even if the bearer should be a false one. You have somehow guessed this. Nor may we kill him who bears the key, although we have killed the false Emissary, which makes us glad. "

'False Emissary'? Ah the nonhuman in silver armour of their songs. You mean Yuffie. You murderous scum. Being fictional characters, the only harm I can do you is to write some truly horrific slasher fanfic and add you in as the victims. Don't tempt me further to do so.

After this speech, Mohs speaks to his fellows and they get to work. They strip Lando down to his trousers and cummerbund, slash the trousers with a knife so they can't provide warmth, tie Lando to one of the "trees", then stack his precious cold-weather gear just out of reach in front of him. They miss Lando's stingbeam, concealed as it is between his cummerbund and his trousers, but it is below zero centigrade her, frost and ice in the air, and Lando is already beginning to shiver.

The Key they shove into a dirty grey cloth tied to his waist. "You will all see that the Key remains with the Bearer", Mohs says.

When all this is done, Mohs speaks to his subordinates a final time: "Now we shall wait. In their own time, They will take his life, either through the cold or through the tree. We shall then return and claim the Key which is our rightful heritage. We go."

They leave Lando tied to the tree, cursing first out of genuine anger, then out of desire to stay warm, as his life begins to fade from him...

THE END.

Just kidding. Story continues.

"Through the tree? " So I was right. The trees DO perform some kind of vampirism on living creature, which is what renders those who work in them incompetent. Left unchecked, this close, the process can even kill, which is what the Toka have in mind.

Their rules forbid them either from taking Lando's life or taking his Key, but they have a rules lawyer among them which any DM would recognize in a heartbeat.

This reminds me of the old Adam West Batman TV series; they were two-part episodes. In part 1 the villain of the week would clobber Batman and Robin in a fistfight, then put them in some sort of clever, inescapable Death Trap . They'd always escape in part two, typically by using some previously unknown gadget on their utility belts.

And, as a possible callback, Lando DOES have his cummerbund, so maybe this will be a call-out as well?

So far the author has ended almost every chapter with some kind of menace to the hero, but I can't help feeling that it's starting to feel a touch artificial. As if the story itself isn't enough to keep the interest of the audience, so we have to keep throwing in cheap thrills to keep them engaged?

At any rate, we must leave Lando in this unenviable position and look forward to things getting better ... in the next episode!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[pendell]

Tomorrow I have stuff to do so I will post tonight instead.

Chapters 11,12
Castaway

Spoiler

Show

IN our last chapter Lando was left stripped nearly naked and tied to a life-tree , his cold weather gear sitting just outside of his reach. The cold night is coming, and he will probably die. His only asset are his body, his concealed pistol (which he can't use, bound as he is), and his wits.

Actually, there is ONE more thing.

Vuffy, it seems, is able to self-repair, as pseudo-organisms depart the shell and bring materials back, which are used to reconstruct the damaged boy.

Ah, I've seen this scene before.

Y'know what? Lando may be mifffed, but I'm glad Yuffie is programmed against violence. The creature has "robot apocalypse" written all over it, intelligent and capable as it is.

But Lando has immediate problems. He's dying. He knows it. He can feel his life draining into the tree.
It's getting hard to think. Around him, the smaller plants have all rolled up into balls as protection
against the night's killing cold.

Consciously, he's starting to think about his deck of cards. What did he want to do with them? But while his befuddled mind considers the problem, his hands are working at their bindings.

A cut over to Vuffi repairing himself, then back to Lando as he is now singing a ribald ditty of his own devising.

CHARACTER NOTE: Lando is extremely dexterous, hands adept at manipulating cards and sliding into pockets. So dexterity of 16 or above? And perhaps a few levels in Scoundrel, the Star Wars equivalent of Rogue?

Lando first frees his right hand, then his entire right arm. But to him it is a deep philosophical problem requiring much thought: What does he want to do with this arm anyway? Because he's cold? But he doesn't feel cold, he feels rosy warm...

That is not a good sight. Our author knows something about the mechanics of freezing to death.

His thoughts wander from cold to fire. Fire? His blaster? But at what...

Then he has a momentary flash of clarity, then uses his right arm to draw his gun and burn the remainder of his bindings off. He rolls away from the tree and has to resist the urge to empty the magazine into the thing which had been taking his mind.

But he does, and acts more practically, he slips into the cold weather gear. It is by no means a perfect fit or in great condition, and the trousers are badly damaged, but it is MUCH better than nothing. He has a chance to get out of this alive, now.

He is now considering his next move, but before he can do anything a repulsor vehicle rolls up and demands he drop his weapon and raise his hands over his head. Four police troopers in armour run up. One of them is our "buddy" Captain Jandler. You remember him, the guy who arrested us, threatened us in a bar, and later oversaw the deactivation of the Falcon's hyperdrive, which was a thoroughly botched job. Now he's hear sticking a gun in Lando's face.

"Well, Captain Calrissien, we meet again. As soon as we've taken care of you, we'll recover your vessel and get that cargo back to its rightful owners. If you thought you were in trouble before ... "

He demands the Key. Lando refuses. Fine, Jandler orders him strip-searched.

At this very moment, there is a thunderous BOOM overhead as the Falcon soars majestically overhead! Just in the nick of time, Yuffie! I knew my ninja would come through!

One of the officers points his gun at Lando but is dissuaded when a volley from the Falcon's lower turret throws up a cloud of dust almost right next to him. He puts down the gun and raises his hands, as do two of his companions.

The fourth turns and runs for his vehicle, but he doesn't get more than a few steps before the Falcon's turret speaks again and it is converted into a fireball. That's enough for him. Now we have four prisoners.

Lando prepares to question them and Vuffi fills him in. He has been able to find a loophole in his programming somewhat. While he cannot injure a human or allow a human to come to harm, there's nothing in his programming that says he can't frighten humans with a near-miss, especially when they're threatening something else, and there's nothing in his programming at all about not harming empty vehicles.

Also, while he cannot brandish a weapon at the captives they don't need to know he can't hurt them. So he loudly threatens to burn them down where they stand if they so much as move -- verbal threats not being a problem apparently -- and the gang is prepared to talk.

They don't know much. ALl Captain Jandler knows is that he's had the craziest errands of his career over the past few days. No one tells him anything, but he's a good little stormtrooper-type and does what he's told without question. He turns it around and asks Lando if HE has any idea what's going on.


Jandler and his team don't feel any particular loyalty to Not-Voldemort and their superior. Their orders are more or less not to come back if they don't have the KEy. Lando produces it, and Jandler weighs up his chances of snatching it versus the chance of being killed by Lando and Yuffie. His final answer? "Let him get it himself."

So that leaves the problem of what to do with the prisoners. A little searching reveals an interplanetary cargo barge that the police had used to travel here in. Taking the precaution of sabotaging the communication systems and locking in the ship to a preset navigational course, the four police are ushered aboard their ship and sent off on a one way course to somewhere very boring, and very far away, but one they'll survive and be able to tell their grandchildren about. Jandler is grateful, speaking for his team: "It beats a beam in the eye from a hot laser, Captain--"

"Call me Lando. No one else seems to have the knack."

"Lando, then. And when we get back, none of us will be particularly anxious to report in. Will we guys? Chorus of nos.

And so they are sent on their way. Lando thoughtfully includes some brandy and holocassettes. They are going to have a very boring few days, but they'll get through it.

Next order of business is to attend to Lando's wounds aboard the Falcon with a medikit. Vuffi, who really is like a ninja, proves to be as skilled in medicine as he is in astrogation. Their next step is to hunt down Mohs. They eventually decide to head back to the pyramid. Lando this time takes TWO heavy blasters, as well as an umbrella to protect the weapons' apertures. Once they return to the pyramid, it's not hard to find Mohs smoking a lizard in the shadow of one of the pyramids.

Smoking a lizard? Is that a euphemism for ... oh. It means smoking, as in cooking.So he is cooking food he has just hunted to eat.

Of course, what did I think he meant? Heh heh.

And that wraps up another action sequence: We're back pretty much where we started two chapters ago, minus some cold weather and with a collection of villains kicked out of the story. So now, maybe, we can find out waht this pyramid is all about.

The SF aspects of the tree and of Vuffi are really well done. Lando's escape was well written, as was his experience of the cold. And now, maybe, the adventure can move forward! See you next time!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[theangelJean]

Hang on, so the police captain/"banned bar-owner”/ship disabler, who was so suspicious a few chapters ago, has now been dismissed as a paid goon?

Do we know who was paying him?