[Steam] Thread XVII: /sm_rename "Steam Thread": da]mexitt hr[a vise

[tarbrush]

Yeah, I did the opening crates thing. Got a Jarate and a Homewrecker. Yay.

[Neftren]

I opened two crates... and have only ever gotten paint. So now I just unload all my crates to my friend. He's gotten 4-5 Unusuals now, and just gives them to people. I can't stand the crates taking up inventory space though, so...

[Imposter]

No, you've won the name "I like wearing women's clothing" from me, as I didn't have the name Kainozzo at the time we finished the duel.

I challenged you to a duel for your name, which was Kainozzo when I challenged you. Then I won. I'm keeping the thing.

[mightymonarch]

I've opened 4 crates. Unusual Gentleman's Gatsby (Circling Peace Sign, S2), Napper's Respite (S1), Le'tranger (S2) and A Distinctive Lack of Hue (S3).

[Science Officer]

Surikesu shot me an invite to the l4d2 group, so all's well.

On the subject of crates, I just give them all to a friend of mine who wants them/knows people who want them.

[Silverraptor]

Still not seein' ya. Go ahead and add me as a friend; search "Chocolate Hammer." I'm the admin of that group.

It says I can't find you either.

I'll send you my email address by pm.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

No, you've won the name "I like wearing women's clothing" from me, as I didn't have the name Kainozzo at the time we finished the duel.

As Arbiter of ChHa, I'm going to have to side with Imposter here. You lose the name you were challenged with, not a name you later substitute in.

[Dogmantra]

As Arbiter of ChHa, I'm going to have to side with Imposter here. You lose the name you were challenged with, not a name you later substitute in.

While ordinarily the Arbiter of ChHa would have the last say in this matter, Kainozzo (henceforth referred to as "my client" for reasons which will become apparent) cannot give away the name "Kainozzo" for the simple fact that my client has not owned this name since early 2010. The actual owner of the name, is in fact myself. The name was given to me by my client as part payment for services rendered. Different accounts present different ideas about what the services rendered were, ranging from full blown party time to merely being a frood, but that is not applicable in this matter. The following EXTREMELY AUTHENTIC chat logs taken from Valve's STEAM program between myself and my client prove beyond a doubt that I own the name.

[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: Don't worry about the money now, you can pay me later.
Kainozzo: I won't have money later.
[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: In that case, how about something of equal value?
Kainozzo: All I have to my name is the clothes I'm wearing and a penchant for cheese. Neither of which would be convenient to send you.
[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: Hold on!
[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: Your name! You could give me your name.
Kainozzo: That's a good idea.
[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: Repeat after me then: "I, Kainozzo, give Dogmantra the full ownership of the name 'Kainozzo' in all matters, as payment in part for services rendered. I fully understand the implications of this deal and accept them fully. I may continue to use the name until further notice at which point I will entirely cease use of it."
Kainozzo: I, Kainozzo, give Dogmantra the full ownership of the name 'Kainozzo' in all matters, as payment in part for services rendered. I fully understand the implications of this deal and accept them fully. I may continue to use the name until further notice at which point I will entirely cease use of it.
[Yhiddy] Dogmantra: Awesome :D

So, as you see, you cannot have won the name "Kainozzo" from my client, as it was not his to offer in the first place. And since I am apparently all members of the court now, I find you guilty of using my name without permission and sentence you to a year of owning the closest substitute to the name you were offered: "I like wearing women's clothing" and damn well liking it.

Thank you.

[Dread Cthulhu]

Opened two crates today, got me a Bushwhacka and a Homewrecker. I was SO HAPPY

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

So, as you see, you cannot have won the name "Kainozzo" from my client, as it was not his to offer in the first place.

The judge sees this as true.

And since I am apparently all members of the court now, I find you guilty of using my name without permission and sentence you to a year of owning the closest substitute to the name you were offered: "I like wearing women's clothing" and damn well liking it.

Ruling overturned. This is a polite tyranny, not a court-room. I find for both persecutor and defendant. Obviously, with such iron-clad proof being offered, Imposter cannot claim the name "Kainozzo," as it is clearly not the currently un-named's to give. Thus, the currently un-named must instead owe Imposter a name of equal or greater value.

This court does not consider "I like wearing women's clothing" a name of equal or greater value, and thus the currently un-named must find an acceptable substitute, to the satisfaction of Imposter.

[AlterForm]

Hold It! I have irrefutable proof critical to this case, right here!

[Winthur]

Ruling overturned. This is a polite tyranny, not a court-room. I find for both persecutor and defendant. Obviously, with such iron-clad proof being offered, Imposter cannot claim the name "Kainozzo," as it is clearly not the currently un-named's to give. Thus, the currently un-named must instead owe Imposter a name of equal or greater value.

This court does not consider "I like wearing women's clothing" a name of equal or greater value, and thus the currently un-named must find an acceptable substitute, to the satisfaction of Imposter.

How does the court NOT consider the value of this name, which promotes peace, mutual understanding, and broadens our narrow view as to the concept of a person's individuality, to be good enough for Imposter?

I find myself at the position to sue this court for discrimination. I'm appalled by the fact that you would disregard the job done on this name, yet there are no constitutional laws that rule such name to be any worse than 'Kainozzo'!

I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, my current name is Kainozzo. Kainozzo is a monster, Fiend of Water, from Final Fantasy 4. But Kainozzo is also supposedly a human. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a human want to identify himself with one of the lamest bosses in the game? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm representing my own case in the court for the rights to my current name, and I'm talking about monsters! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Kainozzo is a human, you must acquit! The defense rests.

[Fawkes]

HOLD IT!

As a "well-respected" "lawyer" with "several degrees", I'm going to take Imposter's case pro bono.

Your Honor, I'd like to call the court's attention to the fact that the other party in my client's duel, while improperly using the name 'Kainozzo' during the duel, goes by the moniker 'Winthur' on these boards. The plaintiff has two names! As Kainozzo was not his name to use, I propose my client be allowed to claim the name Winthur, if he so chooses.

Also, I'd like it stated for the record that the Fiend of Water in Final Fantasy 4 is in fact Cagnazzo.

[Dogmantra]

I would like to counter the assertion that "Winthur" be given to Imposter, as it is also not my client's to give. You will remember that I mentioned I received the name "Kainozzo" in part payment for services rendered, and the remaining debt was cleared when my client gave me his other name, "Winthur". I unfortunately lost this name in a night of poker. Heavy drinking may or may have been involved. Thus, the real owner of the name "Winthur" is actually the Queen of England. She bet the Crown Jewels, you know.

[Jahkaivah]

HOLD IT!

As a "well-respected" "lawyer" with "several degrees", I'm going to take Imposter's case pro bono.

Your Honor, I'd like to call the court's attention to the fact that the other party in my client's duel, while improperly using the name 'Kainozzo' during the duel, goes by the moniker 'Winthur' on these boards. The plaintiff has two names! As Kainozzo was not his name to use, I propose my client be allowed to claim the name Winthur, if he so chooses.

Also, I'd like it stated for the record that the Fiend of Water in Final Fantasy 4 is in fact Cagnazzo.

OBJECTION!

[Winthur]

Also, I'd like it stated for the record that the Fiend of Water in Final Fantasy 4 is in fact Cagnazzo.

HOLD IT!
The name of the Fiend of Water in Final Fantasy 4 can be spelled in many ways, including Kainozzo! This is because it's merely a transliteration of his Japanese name!
Due to the way this name has its basis and is a homage to the character, this is completely irrelevant!

I'd like to issue a counterproposal. I'd like Mr. Imposter to drop all charges, and I will supply him with ice cream.

[Imposter]

I'd like to issue a counterproposal. I'd like Mr. Imposter to drop all charges, and I will supply him with ice cream.

Unfortunately, I have been spoken with my lawyer and am forced to decline your offer. Furthermore, if the defendant and his defense do not provide legal documents and/or a written statement from the Queen, I will be forced to file charges of fraud. Also, I request that all names in a state of debated ownership* be temporarily seized by the court for safekeeping until such a time as ownership of the monikers is established.

*These names are currently "Kainozzo", "Winthur", and "I like wearing women's clothing"

[Winthur]

Also, I request that all names in a state of debated ownership* be temporarily seized by the court for safekeeping until such a time as ownership of the monikers is established.

*These names are currently "Kainozzo", "Winthur", and "I like wearing women's clothing"

You're manipulating the proceedings. Winthur is not in a state of a debated ownership. You're badgering me and trying to squeeze out everything you can.

I propose this court to be adjourned and things to return to status quo in this case.

[Silverraptor]

Got Left 4 Dead 2. Though this will be the first time playing it, so I will be quite noobish.

[Fawkes]

You're manipulating the proceedings. Winthur is not in a state of a debated ownership. You're badgering me and trying to squeeze out everything you can.

I propose this court to be adjourned and things to return to status quo in this case.

OBJECTION!

The name Winthur is indeed in a state of debated ownership. According to your own lawyer, the name is the property of one the Queen of England, who has not provided any sort of proof of ownership, or indeed laid forth any claim herself.

My client is simply trying to claim what he was promised. YOU, on the other hand, agreed to a duel over names, when it has become increasingly obvious that you did not have a single name to your name, and instead attempted to pass off a poor substitute as your name.

Your Honor, my client has been gravely wronged. He is owed a name. If the accused cannot provide one, we will have to seek alternative payment. Possibly something along the lines of a firstborn son.

[NeoVid]

I've opened 4 crates. Unusual Gentleman's Gatsby (Circling Peace Sign, S2), Napper's Respite (S1), Le'tranger (S2) and A Distinctive Lack of Hue (S3).

Once I get some more Series 4 and 5 crates, I'll buy keys.

Who has #4 and #5?

[Byrnbot08]

In response to the various OBJECTIONs and HOLD ITs being tossed around this thread, Byrnbot and associated computing networks propose a plan they feel would be acceptable by all parties involved:

The defendent, formerly known as Kainozzo, must duel Imposter for the right to his name in a Heavy Showdown whilst on the drugs setting of the ChHa server.

The victorious party shall hold rights to both their name, and the name of the defeated.

This will be arbitrated by two independant, neutral parties.

In the case that this deal is not acceptable, Byrnbot and associates are offering a complimentary bullet to the brain/intelligence core of the participants.

[Dogmantra]

The victorious party shall hold rights to both their name, and the name of the defeated.

Kainozzo does not own a name, merely leases one from me. This is the disputed matter.

[The Linker]

I am in ownership of a name which I have long given up. I don't think that anyone would enjoy going by 'Lilplinka,' but I would be entirely willing to donate it to those Poor Irishe Nameless folks in need.

[Byrnbot08]

Kainozzo does not own a name, merely leases one from me. This is the disputed matter.

In which case he is eligible for any of the titles below as a placeholder:

Rankless Dog
Generic Player
a silly sausage

[Fawkes]

The defendent, formerly known as Kainozzo, must duel Imposter for the right to his name in a Heavy Showdown whilst on the drugs setting of the ChHa server.

The victorious party shall hold rights to both their name, and the name of the defeated.

My client has already won the right to a name from Kainozzo. If a second duel takes places, it would have to be under the terms of 'double or nothing'.

[Byrnbot08]

It appears as though the suggested solution has been deemed unacceptable.

In the case that this deal is not acceptable, Byrnbot and associates are offering a complimentary bullet to the brain/intelligence core of the participants.

Are any of your clients willing to receive complimentary bullet?

[Fawkes]

I'll ask.

Your Honor, I'd like to call a quick recess.

[AlterForm]

I'll ask.

Your Honor, I'd like to call a quick recess.

Your honor, I would like to request that this recess include kickball. Or, at the very least, foursquare.

[Jahkaivah]

Your honor, I would like to request that this recess include kickball. Or, at the very least, foursquare.

Request denied.