Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Lady Serpentine]

1391g: Yet oddly fitting.

1391h: Just like that pencil, when the GM stabs me with it for doing so.

(What? It certainly fits oddly.)

[Exelbirth]

1394: I will not blast peasants with fireballs while using the excuse "He might have been a demon in disguise."

[Andreaz]

1395: The Dragon-blooded are not power rangers, and the alchemical among them is not Alpha.

[Alabenson]

1396: If the entirety of my plan is to set something on fire, I am to come up with a new plan.
1396b: Adding "and then run away really fast" does not count as coming up with a new plan.
1396c: My plans are no longer allowed to involve fire period.

[byaku rai]

1397: I am no longer allowed to name my PC "Mac".

[Arbane]

1394: I will not blast peasants with fireballs while using the excuse "He might have been a demon in disguise."

Well, of COURSE not! Demons are mostly fire-resistant or immune. Use force damage.

...What?

[Qwertystop]

Well, of COURSE not! Demons are mostly fire-resistant or immune. Use force damage.

...What?

I was thinking that. Then I realized that if it doesn't die, it's a demon.

[Alabenson]

1398: If the DM is running an "evil" campaign, I am to assume he means evil and not EVIL.
1398b: Even if the DM is running an "evil" campaign, the CE alignment is forever barred to me.

[Omeganaut]

1397: I am no longer allowed to name my PC "Mac".

1397b: I am no longer allowed to name my PC Nancy, and then have him switch names with people until his name IS Mac.

1399: I am no longer allowed to get character ideas from my favorite childhood books.
1400: Especially if they have nothing to do with fantasy.

[Just_Ice]

1401: No longer permitted to win encounters with a bar of soap.
1402: No longer allowed to launch projectile fists of any variety.
1402b: ...especially in medieval settings.
1403: Suplexing in any form is banned.
1404: For the love of god, stop car jousting!
1405: No more warforged with hair!
1406: Cannot constantly build incredibly ineffective deathtraps
1407: Further mention of "the wire conspiracy" will be met with swift retribution.
1408: Cannot use nearly-useless noble character to take over campaign in one session.
1409: Laughing is permitted when DM forgets to give his lich fly, but it is appreciated if it is kept to a minimum.
1410: No more Flash Gordon parody characters.
1411: No longer allowed to dance on corpses face-down in acid
1412: Celestial bison are banned. Especially when two thirds of the party can summon them.
1413: silent whistles can no longer be used against cerebi
1413b: or werewolves
1413c: Just cut it out
1414: the rules for the brawler subclass powers aren't terribly specific, but that doesn't mean I can lift and drop a 20-ton door on the villain with a level 2 utility.
1415: There is no such thing as a "Dire Butler" and I am not wearing its skin.

[Giarc]

1415: My Son of Ether may not make roller blades by replacing the wheels with buzzsaws.
1415b: Nor may I replace the wheels with chainsaw threads.
1415c: I may however, make chainswords.
1416: Forces + Mind + ray gun does not equal Friendship beam.
1417: I am not allowed to make transformers.
1417b: If I do make transformers, they explode due to paradox.
1417c: If I make transformers in the Umbra, they MIGHT not explode due to paradox.
1418: Unless if I use it as a quintessence battery, I am not allowed to make the allspark.
1419: No turning people into lawn chairs.
1419b: No making ray guns that turn people into lawn chairs.
1419c: No making rocket lawn chair launchers.

[Covah]

1420: The massive damage rule no longer applies to dragons.

[Razgriez]

1421: "Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Warhammer 40,000 Plasma Cannon)" is NOT a viable weapon for my next Ranger/Fighter character.
1421a: Even if the DM says yes, the party will say no for fear of being caught in a radioactive explosion for when the weapon finally decides to "get hot"
1422: Likewise, "Exotic Armor Proficiency: XV-8 Crisis" or "EAP: XV-88 Broadside" are banned
1422a: As is hiring some clerics and artificers, to build and ready a Dreadnought for me to be placed in, upon suffering a mortal wound.
1422b: As is any sort of Gundam like Real or Super Robot
1422c: This includes ways I get around it, such as by build WoW sized Pauldrons that store a magical array that shoots out a large number of tiny projectiles, akin to the Alt Eisen Riese's "Avalanche Claymore"

[byaku rai]

1423: Creating a character capable of doing damage per turn which must be expressed in scientific notation is strictly prohibited.

[DogbertLinc]

1422c: This includes ways I get around it, such as by build WoW sized Pauldrons that store a magical array that shoots out a large number of tiny projectiles, akin to the Alt Eisen Riese's "Avalanche Claymore"

I think I love you.

1424: Not allowed to dodge the Ass Kraken's somewhat arbitrarily high Tentacle attack.

[The Glyphstone]

I think I love you.

1424: Not allowed to dodge the Ass Kraken's somewhat arbitrarily high Tentacle attack.

1425: Not allowed to question why the DM is making the group fight an 'Ass Kraken' with tentacle attacks.

[big teej]

1422a: As is hiring some clerics and artificers, to build and ready a Dreadnought for me to be placed in, upon suffering a mortal wound.

well I know what my next homebrew project is....


tax
n+1 not allowed to play a mundane character capable of causing collateral damage on par with a triggerhappy blaster-sorcerer
(I'm looking at you wyvern fighter-bomber guy!)


n+2 not allowed to build a character capable of "kiting" and single-handedly defeating the boss dude that has 3 more class levels than anyone in the party.

n+3 not allowed to taunt the ork boss

n+4 not allowed to milk kythons for their venom....

[Lady Serpentine]

"
1422: Likewise, "Exotic Armor Proficiency: XV-8 Crisis" or "EAP: XV-88 Broadside" are banned
1422a: As is hiring some clerics and artificers, to build and ready a Dreadnought for me to be placed in, upon suffering a mortal wound.

1422a1: This also applies to a Protoss Dragoon.

[Just_Ice]

1422: Likewise, "Exotic Armor Proficiency: XV-8 Crisis" or "EAP: XV-88 Broadside" are banned
1422a: As is hiring some clerics and artificers, to build and ready a Dreadnought for me to be placed in, upon suffering a mortal wound.
1422b: As is any sort of Gundam like Real or Super Robot
1422c: This includes ways I get around it, such as by build WoW sized Pauldrons that store a magical array that shoots out a large number of tiny projectiles, akin to the Alt Eisen Riese's "Avalanche Claymore"

Ah, yes, super robot analogue armours.

I like your style.

[NNescio]

1425: Not allowed to question why the DM is making the group fight an 'Ass Kraken' with tentacle attacks.

1426. Not allowed to draw connections with certain Japanese media.
1426a. No, not even if said Japanese media is from the 19th century.
1426b. Especially if it's from 1814.

[byaku rai]

1427: I am no longer allowed to participate in any game which can possibly be described as sci-fi, not since the Titan incident.

1428: As a rule of thumb, I cannot wield any weapon larger than myself.

1429: Pet robots count as weapons, as do animal companions, in regard to 1428.

[Amoren]

1430: I am no longer allowed to start my character with a manic depressive intelligent weapon, even if I did roll up my starting equipment randomly with witnesses.
1431: Likewise, I am no longer allowed to make my character have a lower EGO to said manic depressive intelligent weapon.
1332: I may not use Sleight of Hand to make the quill disappear.

[wiimanclassic]

1433:May no longer have access to time travel and any form of immortality.

1434:May no longer base a character on Mister Rodgers

1435:May no longer play a gestalt of Paladin of Slaughter/Barbarian then go into both Frenzied Berserker and Black Guard switching between them every level.

[Ksheep]

1436: Not allowed to run from a fight when the rest of the party sticks behind and dukes it out.

1436A: Even if I am shaken and don't think I can do anything of use.

1436B: If I do run, I can fully expect half the party to simply walk away from the next encounter while I get attacked.

1436C: If I try to run from THAT encounter after finding my attacks completely useless, I should not be surprised when the Master Thrower grabs me and throws me back into the room.

[Hiro Protagonest]

1434:May no longer base a character on Mister Rodgers

I think that's called a diplomancer.

[wiimanclassic]

I think that's called a diplomancer.

Maybe but honestly it was the first time I played and goddman was it weird. Mostly why I haven't played 3.5 in a while.


1437:The Barbarian will never be the party face.
1437b:If 1434 Applies to the above Barbarian just pretend this never happened.

[TheJudicator]

1438. I may not spend 20 minutes carefully planning out a wall-based damaging/locking down spell in order to maximize targets affected while minimizing the damage to the party...only to forget to cast defensively and cause the spell to fail.
1438b. Especially when I play nothing but casters all the time. I should know better!

1439. I may not abuse the Create Undead warlock invocation by hole-ing up in a black onyx mine for an extended period of time. Even if I made the 1 in 100 roll of actually finding aforementioned mine.

[BlackestOfMages]

1440: No matter what my DM says, it is applicable for my character to have knowledge skills even if some of their levels are invested in barbarian
1441: a campaign where three dimensional characters is one you should walk away from very quickly
1441a: or make a steriotypical wizard specifically to make the DM cry
1441b: most definatly, do not make a rage-mage with maxed out knowledge skills thanks to able learner just to jerk every string I can

[The Reverend]

1442: Not all halfling men are thieves.
1442 a: not all halfling women are whores, literally the kind you pay for.
1442 b: I may never use the phrase, "Go down faster than a halfling woman that saw your moneybag." while in a halfling thieves guild, while my party members are in Tense negotiations.
1442 c: I will not follow this up with "Well except for your mom last night, she had to get up on a table first." after being confronted for my first comment by the head of the thieves guild.
1442 d: I may not flush out the hiding halfling rogues by using Molotov cocktails and splitting open the two kegs of rotgut vodka and setting the entire room on fire. Even if my Dr, fire resist, and regeneration means I take no damage.


All roleplaying after a failed diplomacy, bluff, and another diplomacy roll by guess what? my barbarian.

[The Glyphstone]

Does your party leader now have a "1742e) I may never allow the barbarian to be in the vicinity during tense negotiations?" list entry?