Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Welknair]

178. I may not use Glibness to convince someone that they're married to me. Even if they have a Charisma of 18.

[Shadow Lord]

179: I may not graphically explain the differences between each charisma score, when applied to Females.

[nhbdy]

179: I may not graphically explain the differences between each charisma score, when applied to Females.

180. Nor may I make a size chart for the charisma scores pertaining to males.

[Welknair]

181. I may not explain the effects of Eagle's Splendor on said descriptions.

[Shadowknight12]

182. Or Greater Visage of the Deity.

[Flame of Anor]

183. Even if I do cast disjunction on the Kraken, it does not revert to its component parts of Crab and Chicken.

[Welknair]

184. I may not use Shatter on a Staff of Power.

[WildPyre]

185: I may not make a Mutants and Masterminds Character that can take 10 to hack Oracle's mainframe at PL 8.

186: I may no longer combine the Total Defense action with Improved Defense, Elusive Target, Acrobatic Bluff, Redirect, Counter Attack, Defensive Attack and Combat Reflexes.

[Welknair]

186a. But the Dodge feat is okay because it stinks.

[EagleWiz]

187. My Druids animal companion probably should not be a better fighter then the fighter.
188. It certanly shouldnt be a better rouge then the rouge.
189. Even if it rolls a nat 20, a Riding Dog cannot pick locks. Or Disarm Traps.

[Axinian]

188a. I can no longer "just roll with it" when I misspell "rogue" as "rouge" on my character sheet.

[Ravens_cry]

190 I will not refer to a greatsword/greataxe/earthbreaker hammer as a "Barbarian lockpick."

[NeoSeraphi]

191. I may not use glibness to convince the party having an injured person dance and sing "I'm a Little Teapot" as I cast on them will increase the restorative power of my cure spells.

192. Especially not when I'm healing them in front of the BBEG

193. Really, I'm just banned from humiliating my party members in front of the BBEG in general

194. Just so I'm clear, this does include using a scroll of gust of wind to blow up the female fighter's skirt when she's adjacent to the evil vampire who's level-draining her.

[Flame of Anor]

194. Just so I'm clear, this does include using a scroll of gust of wind to blow up the female fighter's skirt when she's adjacent to the evil vampire who's level-draining her.

194a. Using a fireball to blow up the female fighter's skirt is at least as strongly frowned upon.

[NeoSeraphi]

194a. Using a fireball to blow up the female fighter's skirt is at least as strongly frowned upon.

194b. Not quite. If said fireball actually harms the vampire in the process, then I might be able to get away with it.

[Flame of Anor]

194b. Not quite. If said fireball actually harms the vampire in the process, then I might be able to get away with it.

194c. "Hey! I was dealing with it! *grumblemengrumble* "

[NeoSeraphi]

194c. "Hey! I was dealing with it! *grumblemengrumble* "

194d. Exactly!

[Hiro Protagonest]

195. I cannot use Mage Hand to lift up the skirt of an attractive girl.
195a. I cannot use suggestion to convince them to have a one-night stand with me.
195b. I am no longer allowed to play spellcasters.

I just gave myself some ideas.

[Flame of Anor]

196. It is inappropriate and a violation of privacy to put my familiar in a room with various other creatures of the same species and opposite sex and then sit back and turn on my empathic link.

[byaku rai]

197: I may not exterminate the Catfolk race by doing physics OOC.

198: It may or may not work IC.

199: My character cannot be the most optimized in the party despite being a Monk.

200: I cannot use the Touch of Golden Ice Feat (BoED) to poke the Evil Dread Necromancer in the party until they agree to turn good.

[some guy]

201: If the CoC game is set in the present day and in the city all the players live in, my player character will not be the GM.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

202. No matter how much I want it my cohorts/followers/devotees can not all be scantily clad women with at least 18 Charisma.

[Cadd]

203: I can't make magically infused babies with Profession: Midwife and Master Craftsman.

[Mixt]

204: I am not allowed to create a Selective Anti-magic field that blocks everybody elses spells and magic items but not my own.
Something about being overpowered.

205: I am not allowed to use a combination of Greater Invisibility, Flight and Silenced Spells.

206: I am not allowed to use Greater Invisibility or any variation thereof, at all, end of discussion.

207: I am not allowed to use the Time Stop + Delayed Blast Fireball trick.

207a: Especially not if i do it every encounter.

208: I am not allowed to go nova on the BBEG in the middle of his monologue.

209: I am not allowed to carry around a laser-reflecting mirror.

210: I am not allowed to use Stilled Silenced Fireball to set the tavern on fire without anybody realizing it was me.

211: I am not allowed to shapechange into a dragon, ever.

212: I am not allowed to play characters with a Wisdom penalty.

[Ursus the Grim]

213. I will not ready an action to dismiss the Jump spell I cast on the cleric "for the lulz."

[sana]

214. I am not allowed to write "property of the nine Hells" on the Paladins cloak wen the Inquisition comes for a visit.

215. also no use of illusions to make his horse pink.

216. after clearing with the GM that a Druids poison resist includes alcohol, challenging everyone to a drinking game is not the solution to every problem.

217. I shall not use that drinking game to trick the paladin in to lying and other things that make him fall.

218. Nor should i point out that wen my poison resist works on alcohol that would mean the Paladin used "Poison" in the drinking game.

219. I will never again build a hot tub under the paladins bedroom window.

220. nor shall i use the hot tub as an excuse to start an exotic dance club. even if i make a lot of gold doing so.

221. especially wen my sole intent was to get the paladins followers as premium members.

[HalfDragonCube]

213. I will not ready an action to dismiss the Fly spell I cast on the cleric "for the lulz."

Fixed that for you.

222. Yuan T.K.O. is not allowed.

Also, isn't this thread mighty similar to the '2000 things I'm not allowed to do in a an RPG' thread?

@V: I think that's best done away from these boards.

[Ravens_cry]

203: I can't make magically infused babies with Profession: Midwife and Master Craftsman.

I think we need a little talk about where babies actually come from.

[Welknair]

I think we need a little talk about where babies actually come from.

Right. It's not Profession: Midwife that makes the baby - they only help in the polishing up of the finished product. Craft: Baby is where it's at.

223. I may not carry loot inside my stomach such that it doesn't count towards my encumbrance.

[nhbdy]

Right. It's not Profession: Midwife that makes the baby - they only help in the polishing up of the finished product. Craft: Baby is where it's at.

223. I may not carry loot inside my stomach such that it doesn't count towards my encumbrance.

isn't there a spell for that? hoard gullet I believe it's from Dragon Magic