My Little Pony XVIII: Perfect Isn't Easy

[Aotrs Commander]

I'm not sure how much damage that would cause them. We've seen Dash crash into plenty of things/ponies and it doesn't seem to affect them much. Maybe the ponies have that ability that makes them immune to backlash damage...

I was kinda referring to the whole Con-drain/cold damage thing, before everyone decided I'm a Pokemon...

I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered...

Maybe I should start shouting my name whenever I cast a spell.

*Saved*
Y'know, just in case Lord Death Despoil decides to come for a visit or something.

*skullpalm*

...Alicorns are part deer now too?

What, you don't think there's room for pony-Galadriel and deer-Galadriel? You can never have enough Elf Queen-analogues.

And not at all because I want to see Blueblood publicly shamed...well, actually that's pretty much the exact reason.

I concur.

My bet is on some form of rat. :P

No, that's too good for him. A spider, maybe (but only because we know what happens to male spiders when they...date...)

But even that's not truly vile, it'd need to be something only just a touch above the very bottom (because even I wouldn't wish being a Vampire of a Shi'Ar on Blueblood, I mean seriously, there are civilised limits, after all)...

I know, a Traffic Warden! Zing!

Can I call Lord Chancellor? I really want to be Lord Chancellor!

You really want to share a title with Kenneth Clarke?¹

No, but seriously, I mean, it's not really a military position, it's just being in charge of a house of decrepid mo the House of Lords... All red tape and no ponies, I mean, fun.

Nope. I'm in the same boat with you...in fact, my brain just began combining candy-filled ponies with a certain perk from Fallout that will not be mentioned, and now I need brain bleach...

Maybe it's just the zoologist in me, but I keep thinking, "hang on, there's a creature that's made of entirely easily digestable material that's basically like nectar, a substance made entirely as animal-rocket fuel? Every other species in the entire world, animal, plant or otherwise, is going to see it as an easily exploitable food source!" Creeeepy.



¹For the benefit of non-British bronies, that we take the urine out of all our politicians unilaterally, especially when they make very public bog-ups! Take our current Lord Chancellor, for example. (Please...) Google his name and you'll see a number of links one from only a couple of months ago...

(I'll not say anymore than that, or I'll be getting into political satire, which while a natural tendancy for the British, is not appropriate to boards, and I absolutely don't want to offend anyone.

Except Blueblood.

And Gilda.

And Gladiator, who I appreciate is nothing to do with ponies, but I always want of "offend" him, particularly with something heavy, like say a repeated neutron star to the face!!!! Ahem.)

[darthbobcat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGbWGs2SRe8 Meet the Scout.

also has been turned into

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt4Zv5ojX5A This.

@ Kurgan

Spoiler

Show

I'll come up with some sort of other product that he could have his face pounded into. It's just hard to come up with something that doesn't sound slightly silly.

[MCerberus]

Bobcat I still need to make your spray >.>

[Kris Strife]

Well, ok, but I say that about a lot of them. Celestia is, I dunno, more regal or something.

Yes, but regal pony or beautiful pony just don't have the right feel to them. :p

[darthbobcat]

Yes, but regal pony or beautiful pony just don't have the right feel to them. :p

Guardopolis: Celestia is a regal beauty, utterly perfect in every way.

[Kris Strife]

Guardopolis: Celestia is a regal beauty, utterly perfect in every way.

But that's infinitely more awkward than "She's a pretty pony."

[the_druid_droid]

I was kinda referring to the whole Con-drain/cold damage thing, before everyone decided I'm a Pokemon...

I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered...

Maybe I should start shouting my name whenever I cast a spell.

DO EEEET!

You really want to share a title with Kenneth Clarke?¹

No, but seriously, I mean, it's not really a military position, it's just being in charge of a house of decrepid mo the House of Lords... All red tape and no ponies, I mean, fun.

Well, I was thinking of it from a more sci-fi/fantasy-based direction, and less as an actual political figure. The name just sounds cool, and thanks to the (over)use of Chancellors as planetary or galactic leaders, it seems like it comes with a nice amount of power...

[darthbobcat]

Spoiler

Show

It is shaping up well. I think adding in the comments Tirek makes during the debate scene helped. It made it more clear that he knows he has won, and that the ponies are only losing time with their arguing.

A few grammatical things I found:



You have a space between the " and whatever.



Might want to rethink a few of the words. You use "couldn't help" twice and then "could" one more time. I had to reread this once or twice to make sure you didn't accidentally restart the sentence halfway in.



I don't know why, but this bothers me somewhat. Probably the dialogue without introducing the character in any way, shape or form...actually, that is it now that I think of it. Rainbow Dash has been mentioned, but hasn't appeared once in the story up until this point.

The other ponies get a quick snippet, Rainbow Dash is introduced with her screaming and everyone looking up, without the reader looking up, so to speak.

Take from that what you want.



The existence of hamburger opens up a big 'ol can of worms that I don't want to think about in pony. I suppose since hot dogs are physically mentioned in the show though, that meat products exist in Equestria.

EDIT:


Just got me thinking of the Winter's Tale.*

Celestia: King of Sicily
Luna: King of Sicily's Wife ((or, if you want Bohemia to be "The Moon", have her be the King of Sicily's Daughter))
Twilight: Their daughter (lives a normal life, then realizes she is the daughter of a king and helps to reunite her parents (and Sicily and Bohemia) through her existence)
Pinkie Pie: The Bear: it comes out of freaking nowhere, mauls a man to death, and then meanders off stage
Trixie: Prince of Bohemia (ends up with Twilight, now we have the necessary ingredients for Midnight )
Blueblood: The dickish bandit who tries to screw everyone over, only to get screwed over himself

That's all I've got for now

*I forget the character's names, so I'll just use titles when possible

Spoiler

Show

Well, let me ask this then. I was trying to have Dash show up very abruptly; like, nopony was looking UP when they started crashing into them. Does it work on that level, or is there some way you'd improve it?

Spoiler

Show

Only thing I caught was this:



Tirek didn't comment on Whooves' line, so it doesn't really make sense.

I wouldn't worry, but then again, I'm one of the prereaders who has been on this thing since day one. You should be getting some fresh opinions soon, so just look forward to that.

Ah, that one was a relic of moving a line from one place to another. Thanks for catching that.

[Titanium Fox]

Guardopolis: Celestia is a regal beauty, utterly perfect in every way.

But that's infinitely more awkward than "She's a pretty pony."

Depends more on if you're shooting for the flattery angle or not. I'd go with Darth's way of putting it if you're shooting for flattery and Kris's way if you're shooting for being adorable (works best if colt or filly, not full grown).

[Kris Strife]

Depends more on if you're shooting for the flattery angle or not. I'd go with Darth's way of putting it if you're shooting for flattery and Kris's way if you're shooting for being adorable (works best if colt or filly, not full grown).

Love/star struck?

[Titanium Fox]

Love/star struck?

That too. XD

---

Also. It made it on EqD for everypony who didn't catch it yet.

It is so trippy to be able to go "I know where that came from!"

[darthbobcat]

Random idea for a story. This is on the list of ones I won't write, so if anyone wants to start off here, go for it.

Celestia has had her eyes on Guardopolis for years, but has always been afraid to make the first move, since she thinks he might be scared off by her. So she's been playing the long game.

Then she finds out that he's been carrying on with Luna since about a month after she came back. She asks around and finds that he'd apparently been aware of her interest in him, but had found her unapproachable (like, via a palace spy/gossip).

How does Celestia deal with the fact that he found SOMEPONY WHO TURNED INTO FREAKING NIGHTMARE MOON more approachable?

[EsperDerek]

Maybe it's just the zoologist in me, but I keep thinking, "hang on, there's a creature that's made of entirely easily digestable material that's basically like nectar, a substance made entirely as animal-rocket fuel? Every other species in the entire world, animal, plant or otherwise, is going to see it as an easily exploitable food source!" Creeeepy.

And now you know the real reason as to why most of Equestria is tightly controlled nature-wise, and why the Everfree Forest, with it's uncontrolled nature, both plant and animal, is considered so dangerous to ponies.

[Kris Strife]

Ponder making her self small and cute too?

Relevant to the earlier discussion:

Spoiler

Show

[darthbobcat]

Image Dump: The First of Many Edition.

Spoiler

Show

How odd that these were in my deviant art favorites one after the other.








I'm sorry, I always get that way after cutting onions.




The pegasus is Spike.


Dash is the best pseudo big sister ever.






















Dash is the cutest factory worker ever.

[Aotrs Commander]

How does Celestia deal with the fact that he found SOMEPONY WHO TURNED INTO FREAKING NIGHTMARE MOON more approachable?

Aotrs Answer: With FIRE!!!!

Serious Answer: Depression at her isolation, heartbreak and running away to hide at the Ponyville library with the one pony she is closest to, and is sent further into herself when Twilight reacts with her typical hero-worship. Until Celestia finally breaks down and Twilight finally sees and accepts the pony under the crown (as a friend, not just a mentor (etc)), learns an important lesson that while you should respect them, you shouldn't put anypony on a pedastal, even a Princess.

(Except me, obviously, you should put me on a pedastal (well, an effegy, anyway, else I wouldn't get any work done) and genuflect to it every so often (like once every five minutes or so.))

[Kris Strife]

So, I was thinking, if ponies wearing clothes is kind of like humans being naked, then what does it mean that Applejack always wears a hat, Braeburn wears a hat and vest, and most of the Apploosians wore something?

[darthbobcat]

So, I was thinking, if ponies wearing clothes is kind of like humans being naked, then what does it mean that Applejack always wears a hat, Braeburn wears a hat and vest, and most of the Apploosians wore something?

Well, the hat is purely functional. It keeps sun out of the eyes. Also, it makes Wonderbolts think you're cute.

The clothes... from an outside POV, it's so that you know it's a wild west episode. From an in universe thing, it could be intended as protection of some sort? Dunno. Or it's a local fashion trend.

Aotrs Answer: With FIRE!!!!

Serious Answer: Depression at her isolation, heartbreak and running away to hide at the Ponyville library with the one pony she is closest to, and is sent further into herself when Twilight reacts with her typical hero-worship. Until Celestia finally breaks down and Twilight finally sees and accepts the pony under the crown (as a friend, not just a mentor (etc)), learns an important lesson that while you should respect them, you shouldn't put anypony on a pedastal, even a Princess.

(Except me, obviously, you should put me on a pedastal (well, an effegy, anyway, else I wouldn't get any work done) and genuflect to it every so often (like once every five minutes or so.))

Should I... should I write you a letter about this?

... Sure Twilight. Sure. Maybe you can make sense of this whole mess.

Twilight excuses herself. Celestia entertains herself with the margarita Spike made her (he's a master mixologist)

A few minutes later, a scroll hits her in the head.

Twilight, you didn't have to have Spike send it...

Sorry, force of habit.

[MCerberus]

So, I was thinking, if ponies wearing clothes is kind of like humans being naked, then what does it mean that Applejack always wears a hat, Braeburn wears a hat and vest, and most of the Apploosians wore something?

And that would make the Grand Galloping Gala...
...
...

[Aotrs Commander]

So, I was thinking, if ponies wearing clothes is kind of like humans being naked, then what does it mean that Applejack always wears a hat, Braeburn wears a hat and vest, and most of the Apploosians wore something?

Appleloosa is the equivilent of a nudist colony?

[Kris Strife]

Well, the hat is purely functional. It keeps sun out of the eyes. Also, it makes Wonderbolts think you're cute.

The clothes... from an outside POV, it's so that you know it's a wild west episode. From an in universe thing, it could be intended as protection of some sort? Dunno. Or it's a local fashion trend.

I'm going with the fanon "clothes are the pony version of nudity" explanation.

So, are you saying AJ's hat is the pony version of short shorts?

And that would make the Grand Galloping Gala...
...
...

Why do you think Celestia didn't dress up?

[darthbobcat]

I'm going with the fanon "clothes are the pony version of nudity" explanation.

So, are you saying AJ's hat is the pony version of short shorts?



Why do you think Celestia didn't dress up?

Oh you.

Also, that would explain why pictures/costumes of human Applejack have in her Daisy Dukes so often.

Aside from the obvious, prurient reasons.

[MCerberus]

Wait, Rarity is the biggest smut peddler in Ponyville in this line of thought.

[Kris Strife]

Oh you.

Also, that would explain why pictures/costumes of human Applejack have in her Daisy Dukes so often.

Aside from the obvious, prurient reasons.

It also adds a whole different element to the Wonderbolts having uniforms?

Maybe they used to be the royal harem?

[darthbobcat]

Wait, Rarity is the biggest smut peddler in Ponyville in this line of though.

DRESSES ARE JUST LUXURIES USED ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS. MOVE ALONG, CITIZEN, THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

... Aaaaaaaand no. No royal harem. Uh uh.

[TheAmishPirate]

Why do you think Celestia didn't dress up?

Nightmare Moon, by wearing armor, was wearing more than Celestia ever has been shown to wear.

Just a thought. *readies brain bleach*

[Betropper]

On ponies made of candy:
Someone has probably said this already though

EDIT: oh wait, it was made by this forum XD

[Aotrs Commander]

Nightmare Moon, by wearing armor, was wearing more than Celestia ever has been shown to wear.

Just a thought. *readies brain bleach*

And Luna...wasn't wearing any...

So Nightmare Moon's armour is basically the Slutty Evil Bikini...?

That...I...huh.

Y'know what?

I'm just going to go to roleplaying now. With great expedience...

[Kris Strife]

DRESSES ARE JUST LUXURIES USED ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS. MOVE ALONG, CITIZEN, THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

... Aaaaaaaand no. No royal harem. Uh uh.

That actually fits well with her darker and edgier versions.

And obviously it's not used for that anymore, after it became considered workplace harassment. Also Celestia grew to twice the height of almost every pony else.

Nightmare Moon, by wearing armor, was wearing more than Celestia ever has been shown to wear.

Just a thought. *readies brain bleach*

They say Evil is Sexy.

Never bought into that myself.

Edit: I'd also like to point out that Applejack admits to wearing additional clothes on a semi-regular basis. Her "work duds."

[Sammiches]

On the topic of pony clothes, I'm more intrigued by the fact that we've never seen a pony wearing pants. (The wonderbolts' flight suits don't count, as they appear to be one-piece)