LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

[noparlpf]

TMI

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My medications makes it difficult for me to climax. I can still enjoy sex.

I heard that was a common side effect for a lot of anti-depressants. I think it's a possible side effect for the one I'm taking.

I love being overtired. It's WAY more fun than being tired or awake.

I don't like being overtired. I prefer adrenaline or caffeine to loosen me up.

Well, the conversation went something like... (TMI)

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Amanda: 'But how do you know you're bi if you're a virgin?'

Me: '... Why wouldn't I be able to tell?'

Her: 'But, you can't know you like guys until you've been with one...'

I ended up having to ask if a certain act 'qualified' one to be gay (or, in this case, bi)... And, well;

Me: "...I can kinda do that by myself... >.>"

She freaked out pretty hilariously at that point. It was also the last time she challenged me about it.

So, yeah... Pretty much depends on how important someone else is.

But wait. If you're a virgin how would you even know if you're into women? You can't know you like women until you've been with one...


SO. The other night I had a dream and at one point a transguy I know was in it and he was in drag. Except that I think he looked a little more masculine in the dream than he actually does. I think my subconscious is confused because I seem to be pretty good at spotting pre-HRT transsexual peoples' assigned sex at birth.
And now I feel bad because I feel like that means I don't actually see him as a guy.
On the bright side, the dream encounter with him made me remember to bring my guitar back to school.

[Lix Lorn]

honk

HONK

;o)

~ ♅

NO
DON'T CROSS THE MEMES

I need to be careful because I can get very talky about sexytimes despite having never done them. I just like reading about stuff. >.>

And I like writing stuff! Or I used to.

I'm not really wanting to have sexytimes with people who I'm not out to anyway. (out to about being a girl I mean.) And even then, I wouldn't really want to before I've at least started HRT... >.>

Ditto. Probably.

I like talking about sex but it makes me blush and sometimes people *cough*Asstrella*cough* tease me ~///~

But I like teasing so it's fun :D

~ ♅

Asstrella?

[pffh]

For the L-word I think most of the western world has been thoroughly Americanized in that regard. Myself I have major problems with saying "I love you" sober but I doubt that's anything other then the fact that I have major intimacy issues coupled with the fact that over here in Iceland thoughts and feelings (emotions, religion, political affiliation and more) are private and no ones business except yours and sharing them willy nilly is a good way to label yourself as a lunatic.

[Mono Vertigo]

And now I feel bad because I feel like that means I don't actually see him as a guy.

Don't. It's a single dream, it doesn't mean much by itself, if it even does mean anything. When your brain makes funny dreams, ironically, it's not taking in account higher brain functions, morality, and intelligence (aka a big part of what makes you).
Secondly, the implications are probably not even there in the first place. Your brain has just taken several bits and memories and tried to make them fit together; it took "[X] is a guy" and "when I first met [X], I thought he was a girl" or "I know [X] was assigned female at birth", and tried to see if it blends, and it blended into this.
Hell, I've had dreams where I was a guy, and it was just, as with almost every other dream, my brain going "hey, I was supposed to tidy up the place, but I have one concept in my left hand, and another concept in my right hand... I'm gonna play with them both a little instead yaaaaaaay!"

[Lyesmith]

...
Wow, that was seriously bad wording on my part. Let me rephrase:
One of my dissection subjects was a protected species, and another was delicious.
I get infatuated easily, but rarely fall in love. Before that boyfriend, I didn't think I was capable of falling in love. Now years afterwards, I'm not sure I'm capable of loving anyone else...
[/sappiness]

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It's true, but mostly I'm saying it for the poetic melodrama

Nah, I was deliberately misreading there. No point doing a degree in textual analysis and understanding the written word if you can't deliberately ignore it, y'know?

I'm an easy infatuate as well, it's just reaching that stage is difficult. Now to see what happens next, I suppose. It's like a horrible thriller, only instead of a serial killer with a knife there's emotional development. Which is worse.

[Serpentine]

I know Was still abysmal wording on my part, though.

[Lyesmith]

I know

Oh, thank goodness. Sometimes I can't tell when people are serious, made worse by the internet and numerous "well NOBODY can say that and mean it, LOL" followed by the person then having meant it situations. Awkward.

There needs to be a smiley for awkard moments, really. Maybe a turtle.

[Lea Plath]

I declare this whole thread to be wonderful and silly. I shall create a new word to describe wonderful and silly.

Scrnafigurn.

Serpentine seems to be a descendant of Charles Darwin what with their desire to eat protected species and declare them delicious :P

[Serpentine]

The delicious one wasn't the protected one! D: The delicious one was a fish, and the protected ones were flying foxes!

[Triscuitable]

The delicious one wasn't the protected one! D: The delicious one was a fish, and the protected ones were flying foxes!

Okay, enough about protected animals! Previous posts have confused me as to whether these are WWF protected animals, or protected-protected animals!

[Serpentine]

Uh... It's-Illegal-To-Kill-Harm-Or-Otherwise-Be-Mean-To Protected.

[Arachu]

I find the "L" word hard to say as well. I don't think I've ever used it with my family because truthfully, I get embarassed and feel horribly vunerable when I do use it. I remember once in junior school when I was about 6 or 7, there was a girl that I sent a couple of really badly drawn cards saying "I love you". Needless to say I was mocked pitilessly for doing so and that put me off saying it again. The thing was, I wasn't even really attracted to this girl - I was 6 for heaven's sake - but she was handicapped and had trouble walking and my little mind didn't have the right word for my feelings, such as "hope you get well soon", "sympathy" and "empathy".

I think I have a better grasp on my vocabularly now but there's still that stigma about telling someone I love them.


....that little ghost has haunted me for quite a few years; it's the first time I've told anyone that story. Funny what falls onto a keyboard at the stroke of midnight...

*Hugs*

I declare this whole thread to be wonderful and silly. I shall create a new word to describe wonderful and silly.

Scrnafigurn.

Scrnafigurn. Scrnafigurn. Scrnafigurn! SCRNAFIGURN!!!

Serpentine seems to be a descendant of Charles Darwin what with their desire to eat protected species and declare them delicious :P

Survival of the least appetizing?

The delicious one wasn't the protected one! D: The delicious one was a fish, and the protected ones were flying foxes!

So, the protected one wasn't delicious?

I love foxes - they're all fluffy and adorable and incredibly unwise to pet. n.n

... Are flying foxes similar to 'regular' foxes? I may have just embarrassed myself...

[Serpentine]

Uuuuuh... Flying foxes look like this:

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And those ones... I wouldn't wanna taste one (aside from the fact they're bats, the ones we dissected were donated by a flying fox... hospital thing. Couldn't know how long they'd been dead - and at least one or two had been dead long enough

[Arachu]

Uuuuuh... Flying foxes look like this:

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And those ones... I wouldn't wanna taste one (aside from the fact they're bats, the ones we dissected were donated by a flying fox... hospital thing. Couldn't know how long they'd been dead - and at least one or two had been dead long enough

I was afraid of that... Well, it does seem pretty fluffy. And unwise to pet.

I was just joking anyway - I definitely wouldn't eat anything with the word "fox" anywhere near its name. Or something that could go extinct easily. Or most animals, actually. I've got a pretty bland diet (I don't even like (most) ham, even though I do like bacon). :shrug:

Canines, though, I have a sort of empathy for. I'd be devastated if I had to eat one (so much so that I don't even think I could if my life depended on it).

... [/Egocentric rambling]

[pffh]

*Walks past singing* It's great to be in the empire today *nonchalantly drops a link on the thread floor http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ph7-...eature=related * it's great to be in the eeeempire today.

[Coidzor]

Frustrating is a pretty mild word for being left in stabbing aching agony for an hour because my partner speaks French like a Welsh sheepdog.

Maybe you should try getting him to speak Welsh then?

I'm bitter because a total of 1 - yes one - partner in my whole life has ever been able to finish me a sentence, and that was nine years ago. I'd need both hands and both feet to count all the other tongue-tied oafs. Sigh.

Well, those are supposed to be rare last I checked the big book of things society tells us to believe. It's friends that can finish your sentences that are supposed to be common enough to find more than, like, 1-2 in one's lifetime.

For women it's likely different -- that's a whole pathless forest I am content not to explore -- but for me, as a man, a lack of orgasm and the accompanying pain is a pretty good indicator that something went wrong.

I must admit, everything I've ever read on the subject suggested that while some women just seem to naturally be unable to do so, if it's not happening in a specific woman's case, it means that generally, someone is doing something wrong somewhere that could be cleared up in order to make for a healthier or at least more enjoyable life in general, even taking the original reason for clearing it up out of consideration.

even if it's completely irrational.

Indeed, if mental and emotional health issues were rational, well.... Kinda makes one wonder if they would be quite the serious business they are in this reality.

And on Serp's point - I tell my freinds and family that I love them quite a lot, but not ever really done it to a boyfreind. Then again, current sample of those is just the one, and it's new. Definitely smitten, though. It appears that I'm not actually some sort of gay robot and have emotions after all. Damn.

Indeed, I legitimately love my family, and see no reason why I wouldn't tell them so if it was an appropriate context to do so. Even the ones I want to strangle half the time because they're just so crazy. I'm actually rather fortunate in that regard that the only known estrangement in my family tree is so far back I wouldn't know those people from Adam anyway.

Then again, it's sort of been a natural progression from when my parents told me that they loved me when I was a child and growing up and how they never really stopped. To be honest, I thought for the longest time that parents telling their children that they loved them was normative for Western families where the parents weren't openly abusive or negligent.

How You Know You're An Ally:

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¤ While checking a bulletin board, you see a free course in Somalian folk dance from the Somalian Women's Association. You read: “Only for women”, and think, “Oh, what a pity, but I guess they need a safe zone, and that should be respected.”

Then you start to wonder how they would react if a trans woman would want to join the dance class. ._.

¤ One of the reasons you don’t go to the doctor to check up your depression is that your friends have it worse, so you think your depression can’t be that bad. However, when voiceing that, your friends tell you that your depression is still an issue, and you get courage to seek professional help.

¤ You’re considering to make peace with a trans activist you’ve fallen out with, and plan to send a message about “burying the hatchet”. Then you realise that the cliché phrase might be offensive to Native Americans/First Nations. Even if you consider making a convulated explanation about Vikings having lived in North America as a Native American tribe.

¤ Your wish fulfillment Author Avatar/Marty Stu is a friend and/or lover to several characters belonging to minority groups, and your character is making what hir can do to not be offensive to them, but some times slips up. Since it’s wish fulfillment, the friends and lovers are patient and forgives hir.

Also, THEY FIGHT CRIME!

What.

[Kneenibble]

Maybe you should try getting him to speak Welsh then?

Well, those are supposed to be rare last I checked the big book of things society tells us to believe. It's friends that can finish your sentences that are supposed to be common enough to find more than, like, 1-2 in one's lifetime.

Both of what you quoted were euphemisms for blowjobs and splooging, respectively. I was trying to be polite.

As for female orgasms: it's peripheral to what I was talking about, but there's this whole discourse about some women not knowing what an orgasm is, never having had one, never having masturbated, &c. In general it's a lot more complicated than men's orgasms.

[Serpentine]

Um...

Nooooo, I'm gonna hold back from the TMI thing for now.

[Kneenibble]

Um...

Nooooo, I'm gonna hold back from the TMI thing for now.

Shaaaaaaaaare, girlfriend!

Is it a false stereotype?

[noparlpf]

Both of what you quoted were euphemisms for blowjobs and splooging, respectively. I was trying to be polite.

As for female orgasms: it's peripheral to what I was talking about, but there's this whole discourse about some women not knowing what an orgasm is, never having had one, never having masturbated, &c. In general it's a lot more complicated than men's orgasms.

Every time I need to Google some phrase I feel a little glow of pride. Despite everything, there are still some words I don't know.

[Kindablue]

Every time I need to Google some phrase I feel a little glow of pride. Despite everything, there are still some words I don't know.

Discourse?

[Coidzor]

Both of what you quoted were euphemisms for blowjobs and splooging, respectively. I was trying to be polite.

And yet you've also complained several times that you literally couldn't find someone to speak french to you seriously. Hard to keep it straight if you keep switching it up like that.

Also, you really shouldn't explain the joke.

In general it's a lot more complicated than men's orgasms.

Aye.

[Kneenibble]

And yet you've also complained several times that you literally couldn't find someone to speak french to you seriously. Hard to keep it straight if you keep switching it up like that.

No, that was about blow jobs too.

Every time I need to Google some phrase I feel a little glow of pride. Despite everything, there are still some words I don't know.

You're welcome.

[Coidzor]

No, that was about blow jobs too.

Why would you complain about a specific aspect of your sex life in a thread about language?

Have you tried online dating? Or is that the problem?

[golentan]

Why would you complain about a specific aspect of your sex life in a thread about language?

Have you tried online dating? Or is that the problem?

Or travel agencies. He could just try travel agencies.

I'm not much good with french though.

[Serpentine]

Shaaaaaaaaare, girlfriend!

Is it a false stereotype?

I don't know if it's a false stereotype, so much that - I think - it's a much more complicated process for women, and for whatever reason - social pressures, guilt, lack of opportunity, lack of interest, lack of a willing partner... - the requisite experimentation to determine the right process doesn't happen.

As for my TMI... let's just say that thus far I only find those truly well-versed in the arts of glottology intellectually inspiring.

[Mono Vertigo]

French's my first language!
On a completely unrelated note, I have the nagging feeling I've missed several big and dirty jokes. Probably just me.

[Asta Kask]

Damn, I am getting a blood test at wednesday to see if if we should try medication to get my attention problems under control. Now I have to look side effects of ADD medications...

They shouldn't have a major effect on your sex life. Antidepressants go for the serotonine and norepinephrine systems; ADHD medication are dopamine-specific.

[KenderWizard]

Well there are dozens of different (not just pills) types of birth control that could work better for you. A couple of my female friends swear by the injection one (once every 3 months, hard to mess that one up) and say there are very little side effects compared to the pill.

That's very true. The problems would be expense and reliably seeing my doctor, who is in another town. I mean, I do see him several times a year, just not at precise three-month intervals.

Okay, that's an aditional layer of complication.

Here's one thing that I often notice in american media: Characters make a huge fuss about saying they love each other, even after being boyfriend and girlfriend for weeks or months. It's treated as almost the same thing as proposing marriage. Is that just for drama or really how things are in America?
I know about a study done in World War 2 with american soldiers and British women to find out why there are some complications when the two met. Turned out that the american soldiers asking for a kiss regarded it as one of the very first steps to signal their affection. The british women treated a kiss as signaling that the relationship has reached the stage where it will get to sex very soon. As a result the americans were regarded as extremely pushy, because they want to go streight to sex. The british women were regarded as extremely easy to get, because once you got them to kiss you, they immediately wanted to take you to bed.

So it might be that the american phrase "I love you" means something entirely different then the german phrase "Ich liebe dich". As said, I am not an expert on typical German relationships, but my assumtption always was that "Ich liebe dich" signals that you have passed from the stage of interest to the stage where you are really serious about it and have the intention to start the first steps to a long-term relationship. Obviously that doesn't apply to people who have sex just for fun, but I would consider that the "conservative" course of action for people who only have sex as part of commited relationships. In such a relationship, even kissing before saying "I love you" seems highly inappropriate to me. Or you have to say it immediately after.

Thoughts?

I do think expressing love is bounded by cultural mores. I am coming to the conclusion (also having been baffled by American shows) that a lot of American shows are false for most of America as well. My personal philosophy is that you say it when you feel it. In my case, I said it a few weeks before my partner felt able to return it, but I was secure enough in my importance to him to wait.

I find the "L" word hard to say as well. I don't think I've ever used it with my family because truthfully, I get embarassed and feel horribly vunerable when I do use it. I remember once in junior school when I was about 6 or 7, there was a girl that I sent a couple of really badly drawn cards saying "I love you". Needless to say I was mocked pitilessly for doing so and that put me off saying it again. The thing was, I wasn't even really attracted to this girl - I was 6 for heaven's sake - but she was handicapped and had trouble walking and my little mind didn't have the right word for my feelings, such as "hope you get well soon", "sympathy" and "empathy".

I think I have a better grasp on my vocabularly now but there's still that stigma about telling someone I love them.


....that little ghost has haunted me for quite a few years; it's the first time I've told anyone that story. Funny what falls onto a keyboard at the stroke of midnight...

That is such a sweet story, and it makes me feel sad (empathy!) that this experience made you feel unable to say that you love someone.

Every time I need to Google some phrase I feel a little glow of pride. Despite everything, there are still some words I don't know.

Yeah, I had to too! Incidentally, the first one that came up was completely sick and definitely not what Kneenibble was talking about, unless Kneenibble's idea of a good time with his beau is abusing sex workers.

I don't know if it's a false stereotype, so much that - I think - it's a much more complicated process for women, and for whatever reason - social pressures, guilt, lack of opportunity, lack of interest, lack of a willing partner... - the requisite experimentation to determine the right process doesn't happen.

As for my TMI... let's just say that thus far I only find those truly well-versed in the arts of glottology intellectually inspiring.

... It's harder to google from this direction. Do you mean you only become intellectually stimulated by a cunning linguist?

I definitely agree with the first paragraph.

[noparlpf]

Okay, that's an aditional layer of complication.

Here's one thing that I often notice in american media: Characters make a huge fuss about saying they love each other, even after being boyfriend and girlfriend for weeks or months. It's treated as almost the same thing as proposing marriage. Is that just for drama or really how things are in America?
I know about a study done in World War 2 with american soldiers and British women to find out why there are some complications when the two met. Turned out that the american soldiers asking for a kiss regarded it as one of the very first steps to signal their affection. The british women treated a kiss as signaling that the relationship has reached the stage where it will get to sex very soon. As a result the americans were regarded as extremely pushy, because they want to go streight to sex. The british women were regarded as extremely easy to get, because once you got them to kiss you, they immediately wanted to take you to bed.

So it might be that the american phrase "I love you" means something entirely different then the german phrase "Ich liebe dich". As said, I am not an expert on typical German relationships, but my assumtption always was that "Ich liebe dich" signals that you have passed from the stage of interest to the stage where you are really serious about it and have the intention to start the first steps to a long-term relationship. Obviously that doesn't apply to people who have sex just for fun, but I would consider that the "conservative" course of action for people who only have sex as part of committed relationships. In such a relationship, even kissing before saying "I love you" seems highly inappropriate to me. Or you have to say it immediately after.

Thoughts?

Hmm. I don't say, "I love you," to anybody, family, friends, or otherwise. Some of my friends say, "I love you guys," when we're being particularly awesome, but clearly that's more of the platonic sort of love.
As for romantic love, I was in love once. I said so first, and she reciprocated, a week or two before she even asked me out. Probably needless to say, we didn't jump straight to kissing or sex. Most of what we ever did was cuddling or hugging. We kissed a couple of times, more than four months into our relationship, and slept together (with pajamas) a couple of times. The most risque thing we did was to cuddle in swim wear once or twice over the summer.
Of course, an asexual couple may not be the best example of how Americans treat the words, "I love you," or relationships in general.

Yeah, I had to too! Incidentally, the first one that came up was completely sick and definitely not what Kneenibble was talking about, unless Kneenibble's idea of a good time with his beau is abusing sex workers.

Yup, I got that one as well. I do not think that is a good time.