LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?

[pffh]

Yeah I think duvet fits the bill.

Spoiler

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I had this in mind which is stuffed with feathers.

[SiuiS]

Also, I heard mention of SiuiS in a bikini...? >_> <_<

IRC exclusive, provided Kindablue calls my bluff. Besides, there's white skin, and there's banned for causing permanent retinal damage. At lest with chat you'd have a thumbnail as a warning first.

I believe in common parlance these days, quilt and duvet are synonymous. I don't actually know what a comforter is.

Think a comforter is a blanket that's like a sleeping bag that doesn't zip; two layers, stuffed full of cotton and hit with a zig zag to marhibalky keep everything in place.

ION, I want to use this as my gender symbol.

... Wow. Cool.

Quilt I believe used to refer to the type that was made in bits - either squares or hexagons usually - but they've become rare enough nowadays that I think the word has mutated to refer to duvets as well. Well, this side of the puddle, anyway. Apparently they're still popular in Ireland.

(Incidentally, duvet is pronounced as the French - dyoo-vay)

It took me... Fifteen years to find out what the difference between a quilt and s comforter was. Turns out a comforter is a type of cover/blanket, and bring quilted is something a blanket is? I dunno. I just know I wanted to stack enough of then together that I could forego a mattress.

I gave the colorguard permission to paint my nails next band trip. Something tells me they will somehow get me in drag by the end of the day. Again. This is a thing that has happened before. Twice. But this time I am actually giving them permission, just because. And beside, 'colorguard got to me' is a perfect excuse if my parents start asking awkward questions. I have tried to get my hair braided, but that did not work out to well. And my friends keep trying to give me skirts and dresses.

Well, wait. How long is your hair? I braid mine. I've even tried pigtails though they are attrocious with my hairline and facial structure. Heads up though, it usually increases masculinity of looks, rather than diminish it. May be because of the severity of pulling all my hair back however.

... I think they may be, very subtly, trying to make a point.

Although, I actually like skirts. They're swishy and soft.

EDIT: Over here in the Fabulosity Bay, I almost never hear them called duvets. Just comforters, quilts, and blankets.

Aye. If kilts are any indication, skirts are awesome.

And I will admit, Duvet is a new one to me... I think. I've heard "dove it".

Also, hi Miles!

[Asta Kask]

Absolutely, we should check to see what the effects are, but better this than nothing. It's not always a choice between doing this or doing something more useful. Often it's a choice between doing this one thing or not.

How about Inverse Day? Go up and ask people how being straight, or cis, has colored their life. Make them think both about queers' situation and challenge the assumption that cis-straight is always the default position.

[KenderWizard]

I believe in common parlance these days, quilt and duvet are synonymous. I don't actually know what a comforter is.

I would not use, nor have I heard used, quilt when one means duvet or vice versa. But I also don't know what a comforter is. We should break this stuff down by country!

ION, I want to use this as my gender symbol.

I DO TOO! I no longer identify as female, I identify as swissarmyknifele.

Uh, no offence to everyone who actually does identify outside the gender binary. Or anyone else.

Quilt I believe used to refer to the type that was made in bits - either squares or hexagons usually - but they've become rare enough nowadays that I think the word has mutated to refer to duvets as well. Well, this side of the puddle, anyway. Apparently they're still popular in Ireland.

(Incidentally, duvet is pronounced as the French - dyoo-vay)

I pronounce it "doo-vay", as in, French pronunciation in an Irish accent.

Also, I wouldn't say quilts are madly popular here, they just exist as a separate thing. We have two, from my partner's mother who made them, and she's American. One is more like a quilt-duvet hybrid, actually. But that's beside the point!

Yeah I think duvet fits the bill.

Spoiler

Show

I had this in mind which is stuffed with feathers.

Yep, that's a duvet!

How about Inverse Day? Go up and ask people how being straight, or cis, has colored their life. Make them think both about queers' situation and challenge the assumption that cis-straight is always the default position.

Because that's really really hard? Like, REALLY hard. Like, I wouldn't necessarily be able to do it, and I'm assertive, not afraid of strangers or confrontation, cheerful and a passionate advocate of human rights. I wouldn't be able to do it all day, to strangers, on a given date when I might be sick or tired or anxious. People don't like having their privilege pointed out suddenly, especially out of nowhere. All it takes is one nasty person.

[Asta Kask]

Huh. I wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe that says more about me...

[Serpentine]

Don't forget about doonas, guys!

[Mina Kobold]

I think the best translation of the alternative medicine quote would be if there was an alternative sexuality idea. Like aurasexuality!

Which would actually be quite interesting in a fantasy story, to the story-making board! :3

But now to actually talk about our topic: Duvets! They are quite common in Denmark, where we call them "Dyner". I am not sure if we even have a specific word for non-duvet sleeping things, it sounds impossible!

... I really need to actually do something contributing-like some day. ^_^'

[supernerd]

And swinging more towards gay again I think.

I spent much of work today checking out a hot asian guy who couldn't make up his mind about what to get.

I don't know why, but I'm not attracted to Asians, they can have great abs, but something about the face would make me giggle at them during intercourse and I can't immagine kissing one.

Now my life partner/husband will be Asian. Oh, karma, where would we be?

How has being cis affected your lives?

Well I'm comfortable with my penis, it has allowed me to be more effeminate without the worries of being outed that transmen can face, it has allowed my gender to be a constant that I can always come back to. It has made me overlook for too many years how valuable gender is.

Using a similar line of thought, being gay has helped me realize the value of love and romance, beyond it being one of the greatest feelings in the world that I have experienced. My sexuality has challenged me to learn, and for that I would never change even one thing in the whole course of my life.

[Viera Champion]

That is correct. Have you kissed yet?

Yes. We kissed the first day we met silly. You gotta keep up. But we have kissed more since then. Innocent playful kisses though. He is a good good Catholic boy.

Let's see like last week we met up for dinner cuz he was passing through my city on the way back from some college visits in PA. It was yummy, and we held hands in front of his mom, though I'm worried he wasn't entirely comfortable doing that. But we kissed after that.

I'm still planning our trip to Longwood Gardens that is supposed to happen on the 28th though.

[Anethiel]

Using a similar line of thought, being gay has helped me realize the value of love and romance, beyond it being one of the greatest feelings in the world that I have experienced.

In regards to that, may I quote Stephen Fry?

Straight people are encouraged by culture and society to believe that their sexual impulses are the norm, and therefore when their affairs of the heart and loins go wrong (as they certainly will), when they are flummoxed, distraught and defeated by love, they are forced to believe that it must be their fault. We gay people at least have the advantage of being brought up to expect the world of love to be imponderably and unmanageably difficult, for we are perverted freaks and sick aberrations of nature. They - poor normal lambs - naturally find it harder to understand why, in Lysander's words, "the course of true love never did run smooth".

You may also want to read the letter that quote is an excerpt of.

[Asta Kask]

Ok... first base covered.

*ticks off box*

[Qaera]

The point of my paraphrased quote was that alternative medicine that works is accepted by science as working, and becomes medicine. The oft-quoted example is willow bark, used to be steeped in tea to relieve mild pain, now is extracted and mass produced as aspirin.

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

[KenderWizard]

Don't forget about doonas, guys!

What's a doona? Is it a sleep-related device? It sounds a bit scary.

Huh. I wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe that says more about me...

I think it would be unimaginably hard for a lot of people, and maybe more draining than you realise. (Maybe not, for all I know you're made of Teflon when it comes to prviliege defense!) I would not like having to explain cis or straight privilege over and over to people, any one of whom could be abusive towards me. I would do it, if I had to, but if someone couldn't do it, I would not be surprised.

It's waaaay less draining and dangerous to do something yourself than to actively engage with other people. So being silent, or, say, wearing a tshirt or a ribbon, or what have you. Sure, someone could still take issue with you, but it's much less likely, and you'd have a much easier time disengaging from someone abusive if you didn't start it - people would be on your side, you would be the one "attacked".

Yes. We kissed the first day we met silly. You gotta keep up. But we have kissed more since then. Innocent playful kisses though. He is a good good Catholic boy.

Let's see like last week we met up for dinner cuz he was passing through my city on the way back from some college visits in PA. It was yummy, and we held hands in front of his mom, though I'm worried he wasn't entirely comfortable doing that. But we kissed after that.

I'm still planning our trip to Longwood Gardens that is supposed to happen on the 28th though.

Is Lil Shiro's relationship still super-adorable? Yes.

In regards to that, may I quote Stephen Fry?

That quote reminds me of something. You know the furore about the TSA advanced screening procedures? Where if you're selected for advanced screening you have to choose between see-you-naked not-fully-tested-radiation scanner or advanced groping? So apparently, and I haven't investigated this fully myself, there are more outraged men than outraged women when it comes to the advanced groping technique. This is not what a lot of people expected, since it's most distressing for people who have been victims of sexual assault, who are more likely to be female. People expected no real gender difference, or more females. So the theory I heard was that women are frankly used to being groped. Almost all women have had an unwelcome touch, at some point. In fact, I'd venture most women have had an unwelcome touch, from a stranger, in an inappropriate place, in public. And they're kind of encouraged to shut up about it. So it's the men who haven't typically had to worry about stranger hands in their special places that get outraged. What do you think? I'm not saying this is definitely true, it's just a theory I heard that sounds interesting and plausible.

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

Hugs? That's really sh***y. Remember, it gets better.

[golentan]

The point of my paraphrased quote was that alternative medicine that works is accepted by science as working, and becomes medicine. The oft-quoted example is willow bark, used to be steeped in tea to relieve mild pain, now is extracted and mass produced as aspirin.

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

Unless you feel unsafe doing so, you should even if the fallout is bad. Otherwise, you'll leave things festering and poison your relationship based on lies, rather than giving a chance for reconciliation with truth.

Edit: I'm not saying RIGHT NOW. But definitely when you are in a position to.

[Selpharia]

Unless you feel unsafe doing so, you should even if the fallout is bad. Otherwise, you'll leave things festering and poison your relationship based on lies, rather than giving a chance for reconciliation with truth.

Edit: I'm not saying RIGHT NOW. But definitely when you are in a position to.

On the other hand, while having an open, honest relationship is good, there are many ways that doing so can be unpleasant beyond physical safety. This is why, for example, I will be waiting until I am safely ensconced in graduate school to even begin thinking about telling anyone or doing anything really obvious, since up until that point, my parents will have sufficient influence on my life to make it incredibly miserable.

The little erinyes on my shoulder would like to add this bit of traditional Chinese aphorism, to go along with the theme: "Once a word is spoken, four teams of horses cannot drag it back."

Lying is unpleasant, but it's infinitely practical, at least in the short term. Good luck, Qaera, whichever way you decide

[Arachu]

[pedantry] I believe the word is octants [/pedantry]

That makes sense... Thanks!

Wow. I just realize that whatever I have to contribute to this thread consists largely of apathy and meh. That is actually how I describe my gender and sexuality.

Oh, hey, I am a guy... being a girl would be cool, I guess... I would probably prefer it. But I have no objections to being a guy... I do not really care.

And I like who I like. But I do not particularly care... seeing as I am effectively in a relationship, and am purely monagamous. And... do not particularly feel any stronger feelings towards people of whatever gender or whatever. *shrug* I like one girl, she likes me. Woohoo. *shrug*

Even my voice and appearance are just... meh. I am very androgynous, and my voice sounds sometimes feminine, sometimes... non-feminine. I am not masculine at all. I will act feminine occasionally... I am mostly just crazy. I am gendermeh, and mehsexual. Of course, apathy is my driving emotion, pretty much.

Also, I heard mention of SiuiS in a bikini...? >_> <_<

>.>
<.<

*Scoots up real close and starts joking about boring things*


I remember when I was gendermeh. I didn't realize I was a girl, but I didn't really care about being a boy. Jokingly called myself an "it" or a "whatsit" every so often. I was a total wet blanket to anyone insulting my masculinity.

I gave the colorguard permission to paint my nails next band trip. Something tells me they will somehow get me in drag by the end of the day. Again. This is a thing that has happened before. Twice. But this time I am actually giving them permission, just because. And beside, 'colorguard got to me' is a perfect excuse if my parents start asking awkward questions. I have tried to get my hair braided, but that did not work out to well. And my friends keep trying to give me skirts and dresses.

... I think they may be, very subtly, trying to make a point.

Although, I actually like skirts. They're swishy and soft.

I wanna skirt. I need to make that one I've been meaning to make out of that shirt and those shorts one'a these days... >.>

Oh, and *welcomeglomp!*. Hehe, you all thought I forgot.

How has being cis affected your lives?

I imagine... It wouldn't really affect people so much (not in any obvious ways, anyway). That's a good question, I almost regret not being able to answer it.

I can say how being trans* affected me, though - because I identified with girls, I got unconsciously offended whenever someone spoke derogatively about them. Both of my parents are terrible misogynists, and they expected me to feel the same - despite their best efforts, however, I merely grew up femmephobic. And now I'm doing away with that, too. *dramatically raises fist all rebellious-like*

I believe in common parlance these days, quilt and duvet are synonymous. I don't actually know what a comforter is.

It's kind of a thick blanket you normally lay on top of.

ION, I want to use this as my gender symbol.

Yes.

IRC exclusive, provided Kindablue calls my bluff. Besides, there's white skin, and there's banned for causing permanent retinal damage. At lest with chat you'd have a thumbnail as a warning first.

Simple; wear it in the dark.

I think the best translation of the alternative medicine quote would be if there was an alternative sexuality idea. Like aurasexuality!

Attraction to people with a specific personality? You know, I kind of like that one.

I don't know why, but I'm not attracted to Asians, they can have great abs, but something about the face would make me giggle at them during intercourse and I can't immagine kissing one.

Now my life partner/husband will be Asian. Oh, karma, where would we be?

Since when was giggling a bad thing during intercourse?

Yes. We kissed the first day we met silly. You gotta keep up. But we have kissed more since then. Innocent playful kisses though. He is a good good Catholic boy.

Let's see like last week we met up for dinner cuz he was passing through my city on the way back from some college visits in PA. It was yummy, and we held hands in front of his mom, though I'm worried he wasn't entirely comfortable doing that. But we kissed after that.

I'm still planning our trip to Longwood Gardens that is supposed to happen on the 28th though.

Hm hm, so cute!

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

*So many hugs* You should do what you feel is necessary, when you feel you're ready to. We'll support you all the way. *Even more hugs*


~Bianca

[noparlpf]

How has being cis affected your lives?

Well, it made me much less aware of gender as a thing, because I took it for granted.

[Astrella]

Because that's really really hard? Like, REALLY hard. Like, I wouldn't necessarily be able to do it, and I'm assertive, not afraid of strangers or confrontation, cheerful and a passionate advocate of human rights. I wouldn't be able to do it all day, to strangers, on a given date when I might be sick or tired or anxious. People don't like having their privilege pointed out suddenly, especially out of nowhere. All it takes is one nasty person.

Considering I've had people get angry over just mentioning the word privilege...

The point of my paraphrased quote was that alternative medicine that works is accepted by science as working, and becomes medicine. The oft-quoted example is willow bark, used to be steeped in tea to relieve mild pain, now is extracted and mass produced as aspirin.

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

*Hugs, so many of them*

Please don't go deny yourself over it though.

Sidethingie: Not so sure if Unique isn't going to be an iffy portrayal...

I remember when I was gendermeh. I didn't realize I was a girl, but I didn't really care about being a boy. Jokingly called myself an "it" or a "whatsit" every so often. I was a total wet blanket to anyone insulting my masculinity.

I wanna skirt. I need to make that one I've been meaning to make out of that shirt and those shorts one'a these days... >.>

You should make one~

I'm still heckling with amazon to get mine delivered.

-----

gender / family rant:

Spoiler

Show

So, went checking out new dorms this morning because I likely won't be eligible for the one I'm at anymore next year. So doing something important with my mom, which is already recipe for disaster. At one point we couldn't find a particular dorm and spent about an hour looking, which was accompanied with constant shouting between mum and dad. Same on the way back; so went I got to work in the afternoon, I was already really worn and stressed out (Sidenote; dorm assigment is done to promote diversity; gender, age and study subject wise; so my mum was all joking "I should've had a daughter and a son for more diversity" ... Was so tempted to just shout "You have a frikkin' daughter!" But that would've been a bad idea. And then there was such stuff as casual racism from clients which I of course couldn't call out easily and at the end of the day I was just so worked up that every time I got misgendered felt like a slap in the face and I had to fight back tears at several points...

I did manage to stealth-buy a pair of leggings at work though.

[Lea Plath]

Why are you ordering the dress off Amazon?

[Arachu]

You should make one~

I'm still heckling with amazon to get mine delivered.

Must... Resist... Urge... To kick Amazon's ass...

gender / family rant:

Spoiler

Show

So, went checking out new dorms this morning because I likely won't be eligible for the one I'm at anymore next year. So doing something important with my mom, which is already recipe for disaster. At one point we couldn't find a particular dorm and spent about an hour looking, which was accompanied with constant shouting between mum and dad. Same on the way back; so went I got to work in the afternoon, I was already really worn and stressed out (Sidenote; dorm assigment is done to promote diversity; gender, age and study subject wise; so my mum was all joking "I should've had a daughter and a son for more diversity" ... Was so tempted to just shout "You have a frikkin' daughter!" But that would've been a bad idea. And then there was such stuff as casual racism from clients which I of course couldn't call out easily and at the end of the day I was just so worked up that every time I got misgendered felt like a slap in the face and I had to fight back tears at several points...

I did manage to stealth-buy a pair of leggings at work though.

*Holds tightly* Yesterday my mom randomly looked at my nails...

Spoiler

Show

Her: "Ugh, Scotty, I don't know how you stand having your nails like that. Ugh! Like something out of a vampire movie - ugh!"

Me: "I like them."

Her: [exactly what she just said]

Me: [exactly what I just said]

...

Me: "That reminds me, can I have nail polish or something? I'm getting tired of them bending on things."

Her: *Horrified look* "Uh-uh. That's Gay. Girls paint their nails." (Have I mentioned she's an utter misogynist? )

Me: "It's not painting, it's reinforcing them so they don't break on me." (they're not really likely to anytime soon - the last time I trimmed my thumbnail I found that the trimming was capable of being folded in the same place about 3 times before it even started to form a white line)

Her: [Exactly what she just said, plus a rather rude comment about clipping them]

Me: "Don't they make clear polish, or varnish or something? I don't see how it's girly to make part of you stronger."

Her: [Some other homophobic comment]


She proceeded to glance at them every five seconds or so until we reached my friend's house. I considered telling her to stop, but then I remembered how she always made me cut my hair so I subtly angled them to make certain she'd get an eyeful.

~Bianca

[Lix Lorn]

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

*Holds tightly* Yesterday my mom randomly looked at my nails...

Spoiler

Show

Her: "Ugh, Scotty, I don't know how you stand having your nails like that. Ugh! Like something out of a vampire movie - ugh!"

Me: "I like them."

Her: [exactly what she just said]

Me: [exactly what I just said]

...

Me: "That reminds me, can I have nail polish or something? I'm getting tired of them bending on things."

Her: *Horrified look* "Uh-uh. That's Gay. Girls paint their nails." (Have I mentioned she's an utter misogynist? )

Me: "It's not painting, it's reinforcing them so they don't break on me." (they're not really likely to anytime soon - the last time I trimmed my thumbnail I found that the trimming was capable of being folded in the same place about 3 times before it even started to form a white line)

Her: [Exactly what she just said, plus a rather rude comment about clipping them]

Me: "Don't they make clear polish, or varnish or something? I don't see how it's girly to make part of you stronger."

Her: [Some other homophobic comment]


She proceeded to glance at them every five seconds or so until we reached my friend's house. I considered telling her to stop, but then I remembered how she always made me cut my hair so I subtly angled them to make certain she'd get an eyeful.

~Bianca

(HUGS)



I can counterbalance with my own story. I came out to my (previously mentioned as slightly bigoted) grandfather, and he was really supportive. Well, he was supportive about the bi part. He kinda brushed the trans part away... but better than I feared.

[noparlpf]

gender / family rant:

Spoiler

Show

So, went checking out new dorms this morning because I likely won't be eligible for the one I'm at anymore next year. So doing something important with my mom, which is already recipe for disaster. At one point we couldn't find a particular dorm and spent about an hour looking, which was accompanied with constant shouting between mum and dad. Same on the way back; so went I got to work in the afternoon, I was already really worn and stressed out (Sidenote; dorm assigment is done to promote diversity; gender, age and study subject wise; so my mum was all joking "I should've had a daughter and a son for more diversity" ... Was so tempted to just shout "You have a frikkin' daughter!" But that would've been a bad idea. And then there was such stuff as casual racism from clients which I of course couldn't call out easily and at the end of the day I was just so worked up that every time I got misgendered felt like a slap in the face and I had to fight back tears at several points...

I did manage to stealth-buy a pair of leggings at work though.

*hugs*

Must... Resist... Urge... To kick Amazon's ass...

*Holds tightly* Yesterday my mom randomly looked at my nails...

Spoiler

Show

Her: "Ugh, Scotty, I don't know how you stand having your nails like that. Ugh! Like something out of a vampire movie - ugh!"

Me: "I like them."

Her: [exactly what she just said]

Me: [exactly what I just said]

...

Me: "That reminds me, can I have nail polish or something? I'm getting tired of them bending on things."

Her: *Horrified look* "Uh-uh. That's Gay. Girls paint their nails." (Have I mentioned she's an utter misogynist? )

Me: "It's not painting, it's reinforcing them so they don't break on me." (they're not really likely to anytime soon - the last time I trimmed my thumbnail I found that the trimming was capable of being folded in the same place about 3 times before it even started to form a white line)

Her: [Exactly what she just said, plus a rather rude comment about clipping them]

Me: "Don't they make clear polish, or varnish or something? I don't see how it's girly to make part of you stronger."

Her: [Some other homophobic comment]


She proceeded to glance at them every five seconds or so until we reached my friend's house. I considered telling her to stop, but then I remembered how she always made me cut my hair so I subtly angled them to make certain she'd get an eyeful.

~Bianca

*hugs*

[Selpharia]

Must... Resist... Urge... To kick Amazon's ass...



*Holds tightly* Yesterday my mom randomly looked at my nails...

Spoiler

Show

Her: "Ugh, Scotty, I don't know how you stand having your nails like that. Ugh! Like something out of a vampire movie - ugh!"

Me: "I like them."

Her: [exactly what she just said]

Me: [exactly what I just said]

...

Me: "That reminds me, can I have nail polish or something? I'm getting tired of them bending on things."

Her: *Horrified look* "Uh-uh. That's Gay. Girls paint their nails." (Have I mentioned she's an utter misogynist? )

Me: "It's not painting, it's reinforcing them so they don't break on me." (they're not really likely to anytime soon - the last time I trimmed my thumbnail I found that the trimming was capable of being folded in the same place about 3 times before it even started to form a white line)

Her: [Exactly what she just said, plus a rather rude comment about clipping them]

Me: "Don't they make clear polish, or varnish or something? I don't see how it's girly to make part of you stronger."

Her: [Some other homophobic comment]


She proceeded to glance at them every five seconds or so until we reached my friend's house. I considered telling her to stop, but then I remembered how she always made me cut my hair so I subtly angled them to make certain she'd get an eyeful.

~Bianca

Good for you, Bianca. And hugs all around.

One of the things I kind of find funny is when people (not my family or close friends though) throw insults calling me girly, because I just go "k" while actually being kind of pleased that they noticed. Oh, I know it's meant to be derogatory, but it makes me giggle maniacally when it happens. Like the one time the guy in the cube across from me was telling me that I giggled like a girl, or that I had the same reaction his wife did to one of his usual rants. Then again, my sense of humor runs black sometimes

I'm pretty thick-skinned when it comes to transphobia, since I work in a group with a bunch of programmers who are REAL MEN with BUZZCUTS and TRUCKS and POWER TOOLS and don't hold with that queer nonsense, and hurl those kinds of insults around all day, so I've gotten very good at smiling and responding in kind, to throw them off the scent. That and I've found "Love you too, <name> " to be a fantastic response, since it generally leaves them nowhere to go rhetorically. Wish I'd realized that at school.

Dysphoria

Spoiler

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Was miserable last night as I took a look at an old picture of mine form when I graduated and saw how incredibly "wrong" I looked, and how I don't look all that different now, and just felt like nothing would ever get better because I'm always waiting for a better time or a more opportune moment, but tomorrow and tomorrow keep creeping in their petty pace from day to day.

That and I somehow stumbled on some lunatic blog discussing how my favorite show is not in fact a mostly utopian vision of a society of tolerance and acceptance, but really the picture of a hyper-traditionalist utopia where all those people who believe in foolish things like common respect and understanding, or dare to*gasp* defy the absolute cultural mandates of some ill-defined "nature" are shown what disgusting aberrations they really are.

In short, I haven't felt so miserable in a long time, and to top the ice cream sundae of happiness, I have to work all this weekend. Bleh

[Arachu]

*hugs*

(HUGS)

*Hugs*

I can counterbalance with my own story. I came out to my (previously mentioned as slightly bigoted) grandfather, and he was really supportive. Well, he was supportive about the bi part. He kinda brushed the trans part away... but better than I feared.

Good for you, Bianca. And hugs all around.

One of the things I kind of find funny is when people (not my family or close friends though) throw insults calling me girly, because I just go "k" while actually being kind of pleased that they noticed. Oh, I know it's meant to be derogatory, but it makes me giggle maniacally when it happens. Like the one time the guy in the cube across from me was telling me that I giggled like a girl, or that I had the same reaction his wife did to one of his usual rants. Then again, my sense of humor runs black sometimes

I'm pretty thick-skinned when it comes to transphobia, since I work in a group with a bunch of programmers who are REAL MEN with BUZZCUTS and TRUCKS and POWER TOOLS and don't hold with that queer nonsense, and hurl those kinds of insults around all day, so I've gotten very good at smiling and responding in kind, to throw them off the scent. That and I've found "Love you too, <name> " to be a fantastic response, since it generally leaves them nowhere to go rhetorically. Wish I'd realized that at school.

Dysphoria

Spoiler

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Was miserable last night as I took a look at an old picture of mine form when I graduated and saw how incredibly "wrong" I looked, and how I don't look all that different now, and just felt like nothing would ever get better because I'm always waiting for a better time or a more opportune moment, but tomorrow and tomorrow keep creeping in their petty pace from day to day.

That and I somehow stumbled on some lunatic blog discussing how my favorite show is not in fact a mostly utopian vision of a society of tolerance and acceptance, but really the picture of a hyper-traditionalist utopia where all those people who believe in foolish things like common respect and understanding, or dare to*gasp* defy the absolute cultural mandates of some ill-defined "nature" are shown what disgusting aberrations they really are.

In short, I haven't felt so miserable in a long time, and to top the ice cream sundae of happiness, I have to work all this weekend. Bleh

*Hugs!*


~Bianca

[Lanaya]

So I was reading this rather interesting article on why Jesus was probably gay, according to an Anglican priest, which was really nice and it's lovely to see how accepting people are becoming. Then I read this.

Had he been devoid of sexuality, he would not have been truly human. To believe that would be heretical.

...

Why do people have a problem with asexuality? I just... ugh. Sigh.

I remember when I was gendermeh. I didn't realize I was a girl, but I didn't really care about being a boy. Jokingly called myself an "it" or a "whatsit" every so often. I was a total wet blanket to anyone insulting my masculinity.

Oooh, I LOVE doing that!

"You completely fail to meet society's expectations of what a man should do!"
"Yep."
"You aren't masculine at all!"
"Yep."
"...Whatever, weirdo."
"I love you too!"

[KenderWizard]

Considering I've had people get angry over just mentioning the word privilege...

Yeah, exactly. Some people REALLY don't want to know.

gender / family rant:

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So, went checking out new dorms this morning because I likely won't be eligible for the one I'm at anymore next year. So doing something important with my mom, which is already recipe for disaster. At one point we couldn't find a particular dorm and spent about an hour looking, which was accompanied with constant shouting between mum and dad. Same on the way back; so went I got to work in the afternoon, I was already really worn and stressed out (Sidenote; dorm assigment is done to promote diversity; gender, age and study subject wise; so my mum was all joking "I should've had a daughter and a son for more diversity" ... Was so tempted to just shout "You have a frikkin' daughter!" But that would've been a bad idea. And then there was such stuff as casual racism from clients which I of course couldn't call out easily and at the end of the day I was just so worked up that every time I got misgendered felt like a slap in the face and I had to fight back tears at several points...

I did manage to stealth-buy a pair of leggings at work though.

That sounds so tough, fair play to you for getting through it. I hope you find a safe, inclusive, happy dorm. And cool about the leggings! Also, when you said you were looking for "dorms" I misread it as "doms" and I was like

*Holds tightly* Yesterday my mom randomly looked at my nails...

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Her: "Ugh, Scotty, I don't know how you stand having your nails like that. Ugh! Like something out of a vampire movie - ugh!"

Me: "I like them."

Her: [exactly what she just said]

Me: [exactly what I just said]

...

Me: "That reminds me, can I have nail polish or something? I'm getting tired of them bending on things."

Her: *Horrified look* "Uh-uh. That's Gay. Girls paint their nails." (Have I mentioned she's an utter misogynist? )

Me: "It's not painting, it's reinforcing them so they don't break on me." (they're not really likely to anytime soon - the last time I trimmed my thumbnail I found that the trimming was capable of being folded in the same place about 3 times before it even started to form a white line)

Her: [Exactly what she just said, plus a rather rude comment about clipping them]

Me: "Don't they make clear polish, or varnish or something? I don't see how it's girly to make part of you stronger."

Her: [Some other homophobic comment]


She proceeded to glance at them every five seconds or so until we reached my friend's house. I considered telling her to stop, but then I remembered how she always made me cut my hair so I subtly angled them to make certain she'd get an eyeful.

~Bianca

Fair play to you as well. If it helps, a clear nail polish or nail treatment to help prevent long nails from breaking can also be called "nail strengthener" (grr, manly strength!), "nail hardener" (grr, manly hardness!) or just "nail treatment" (grr, manly ... treats! )

It sounds as though you're mother's pretty unsympathetic, and in a strangely sexist way. I mean, my little brother has long nails (he hates cutting them often, and likes the feeling of them long). I just try to bother him into keeping them reasonably clean-looking! My parents kept trying to get him to cut his nails (and hair), but from a practicality point of view. They also tried to get me to cut my nails and hair, although I was better at looking after my long nails when I had them. I prefer short nails and hair now, although my hair is growing out at the moment.

Anyway, would it be possible for you to acquire nail-whatever without her explicit consent? Do you ever shop alone, or could you slip off? Do you go out with friends where you could stop in a pharmacy or something? Or could someone sympathetic grab some for you? Hell, I will! (Assuming your mom isn't quite crazy enough to search your post.)

(HUGS)



I can counterbalance with my own story. I came out to my (previously mentioned as slightly bigoted) grandfather, and he was really supportive. Well, he was supportive about the bi part. He kinda brushed the trans part away... but better than I feared.

[Mina Kobold]

Spoiler

Show

My dad was listening to O'Reilly on the radio with me in the car, and a story about Unique on Glee came up, and blah blah blah pandering to .3% of people, stupid crossdressers, etc. kind of a punch in the gut. I had *some* hope I could come out, ever, but now...

~ ♅

*Hugs*

That is terrible. ;_;

I hope you will be in a much better situation soon. Even if it sounds like you have a long way to go, people can change little by little.

gender / family rant:

Spoiler

Show

So, went checking out new dorms this morning because I likely won't be eligible for the one I'm at anymore next year. So doing something important with my mom, which is already recipe for disaster. At one point we couldn't find a particular dorm and spent about an hour looking, which was accompanied with constant shouting between mum and dad. Same on the way back; so went I got to work in the afternoon, I was already really worn and stressed out (Sidenote; dorm assigment is done to promote diversity; gender, age and study subject wise; so my mum was all joking "I should've had a daughter and a son for more diversity" ... Was so tempted to just shout "You have a frikkin' daughter!" But that would've been a bad idea. And then there was such stuff as casual racism from clients which I of course couldn't call out easily and at the end of the day I was just so worked up that every time I got misgendered felt like a slap in the face and I had to fight back tears at several points...

I did manage to stealth-buy a pair of leggings at work though.

*Hugs*

That doesn't sound fun at all. Be sure to have a much less stressed day tomorrow! It can't be worse than today, especially not if you got new stuff that you wanted! ^_^

Good for you, Bianca. And hugs all around.

One of the things I kind of find funny is when people (not my family or close friends though) throw insults calling me girly, because I just go "k" while actually being kind of pleased that they noticed. Oh, I know it's meant to be derogatory, but it makes me giggle maniacally when it happens. Like the one time the guy in the cube across from me was telling me that I giggled like a girl, or that I had the same reaction his wife did to one of his usual rants. Then again, my sense of humor runs black sometimes

I'm pretty thick-skinned when it comes to transphobia, since I work in a group with a bunch of programmers who are REAL MEN with BUZZCUTS and TRUCKS and POWER TOOLS and don't hold with that queer nonsense, and hurl those kinds of insults around all day, so I've gotten very good at smiling and responding in kind, to throw them off the scent. That and I've found "Love you too, <name> " to be a fantastic response, since it generally leaves them nowhere to go rhetorically. Wish I'd realized that at school.

I am not sure whether I should be sad that femininity is still seen as an insult or happy that you get so many compliments (even if the complimenter didn't intend to). ^_^'

Dysphoria

Spoiler

Show

Was miserable last night as I took a look at an old picture of mine form when I graduated and saw how incredibly "wrong" I looked, and how I don't look all that different now, and just felt like nothing would ever get better because I'm always waiting for a better time or a more opportune moment, but tomorrow and tomorrow keep creeping in their petty pace from day to day.

That and I somehow stumbled on some lunatic blog discussing how my favorite show is not in fact a mostly utopian vision of a society of tolerance and acceptance, but really the picture of a hyper-traditionalist utopia where all those people who believe in foolish things like common respect and understanding, or dare to*gasp* defy the absolute cultural mandates of some ill-defined "nature" are shown what disgusting aberrations they really are.

In short, I haven't felt so miserable in a long time, and to top the ice cream sundae of happiness, I have to work all this weekend. Bleh

*Hugs*

That sounds terrible. ;_;

All I can really say is that there generally is no perfect time for anything and that shows can be interpreted in many ways. Even shows that had a terrible intent or philosophy behind it can have amazing accidental results.

[Arachu]

So I was reading this rather interesting article on why Jesus was probably gay, according to an Anglican priest, which was really nice and it's lovely to see how accepting people are becoming. Then I read this.



...

Why do people have a problem with asexuality? I just... ugh. Sigh.

*Facepalm*
*Hugs*

Oooh, I LOVE doing that!

"You completely fail to meet society's expectations of what a man should do!"
"Yep."
"You aren't masculine at all!"
"Yep."
"...Whatever, weirdo."
"I love you too!"

The greatest insult you can deal to an opponent is the lack of one.

Fair play to you as well. If it helps, a clear nail polish or nail treatment to help prevent long nails from breaking can also be called "nail strengthener" (grr, manly strength!), "nail hardener" (grr, manly hardness!) or just "nail treatment" (grr, manly ... treats! )

It sounds as though you're mother's pretty unsympathetic, and in a strangely sexist way. I mean, my little brother has long nails (he hates cutting them often, and likes the feeling of them long). I just try to bother him into keeping them reasonably clean-looking! My parents kept trying to get him to cut his nails (and hair), but from a practicality point of view. They also tried to get me to cut my nails and hair, although I was better at looking after my long nails when I had them. I prefer short nails and hair now, although my hair is growing out at the moment.

Anyway, would it be possible for you to acquire nail-whatever without her explicit consent? Do you ever shop alone, or could you slip off? Do you go out with friends where you could stop in a pharmacy or something? Or could someone sympathetic grab some for you? Hell, I will! (Assuming your mom isn't quite crazy enough to search your post.)

She's not quite that crazy. Crazy enough to think there's a bug in her laptop's power light that makes ads pop up at voice commands, but not enough to drag mine into it. >.>

Well, there was that one time... I left my browser open that day, though. Shouldn't close it tab-by-tab anyway.

Right, though... I might be able to get some with Dylan at some point. They aren't letting me get a license (last time I asked he said something about money and suggested that I'd have to cut my hair - which I will not do) and we don't live in town, so it wouldn't really be plausible without help.

When I get it, of course, I'm going to hide it - if she sees that I'm wearing polish, I'll tell her that I bought some. She won't find it or my Black Amethyst lotion (which she already knows about).

Maybe I'll tape it to the bottom of my chair? They won't see that coming...


~Bianca

[Lea Plath]

Do you have any old games consoles or wardrobes?
Couple of hiding places:

Inside the PC hardware port thingy.
In a sofa (Usually they have hesian or sumin at the bottom, good place to hide stuff).
Down the back of a wardrobe.
Inside books (Extra points for an ironic title)
The base of lamps/inside lamps
Vases

Those are all hiding places I have used for stuff, and when I've lost the weight and feel confident enough to go shoping, I'll be using them again >.<

Also *hugs for people who need them* Seems like this has not been a good day for telling people stuff. Unless they are grandfathers.

[Triscuitable]

Do you have any old games consoles or wardrobes?
Couple of hiding places:

Inside the PC hardware port thingy.
In a sofa (Usually they have hesian or sumin at the bottom, good place to hide stuff).
Down the back of a wardrobe.
Inside books (Extra points for an ironic title)
The base of lamps/inside lamps
Vases

Those are all hiding places I have used for stuff, and when I've lost the weight and feel confident enough to go shoping, I'll be using them again >.<

Also *hugs for people who need them* Seems like this has not been a good day for telling people stuff. Unless they are grandfathers.

I used to store all sorts of knick-knacks in my old PC. I'd unscrew it, drop some stuff inside, and turn it on (it lights up, so everything was hidden by a blue on steel glow).