LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?

[Lady Serpentine]

Or, perhaps, not to make other posts show up. Hlurblargh. Let's try this again...

[Triscuitable]

Or, perhaps, not to make other posts show up. Hlurblargh. Let's try this again...

Holy ****. I did not intend for that to happen.

EDIT: Dammit, I deleted all of the posts, including the one I wanted.

[Rawhide]

((Posting to make other posts actually show up.))

Or, perhaps, not to make other posts show up. Hlurblargh. Let's try this again...

Please do NOT do this. If you'd like to see the hidden posts, click reply but don't actually reply (they will be displayed at the bottom). Otherwise, please let the issue correct itself, but do not reply in order to make them appear normally.

[supernerd]

Thanks. What kind of stuff can you give answers to? Anything you know a lot about in transition in particular yourself?

Arachu is right, but there isn't much I know. I could give you a butchered version of what I've learned, but I mostly hang out here because I'm a guy who likes penis and finds that boobs get in the way of full hug enjoyment. That and the people here are AWESOME!

Your feeble teenage efforts will not sway me.

Um, as in bard... Like I can sing for our troops, give speeches, use my body to perform with realistic gestures, dancing which I hope to improve, and on rare occasions private morale boosting sessions.

You realise how that sounds, right?

Exactly how I meant it? Bard with ranks in Perform (sing, oratory, act, a few in dance, and a few in Sexual Techniques). Well I knew it was charisma based, but I thought it would be a different skill, instead it works really well with the Gem of Radiance (81050 neck slot +6 Cha enhancement, +15 diplomacy and Perform (all))

[Rawhide]

Holy ****. I did not intend for that to happen.

EDIT: Dammit, I deleted all of the posts, including the one I wanted.

I still have it in an open window, I'll edit your first post on this page to the latter revision.

[Triscuitable]

It isn't that 'expression=gender' but rather that 'expression indicates gender', right? I can empathize - realizing that I always wanted to wear skirts was one of my clues.

*Snippity-Snap*

I... Gotta be honest, I do that. The only thing keeping me from loudly announcing my gender and sexuality anytime I walk into a room (common courtesy aside ) is the knowledge of how badly that could go where I am. I don't know if I'd blurt it out in the middle of a presentation or anything, but if I lived around people known for their open-mindedness I'd damn near put up flyers to make sure people heard.

I'm not trying to call you out, it's just that different people act different ways about things. You can't really be certain whether people who seem to be faking are actually faking, because they might just think differently than others expect them to.


~Bianca

That is a good way to put it. Some days I just want to be girl-like, but others I... Don't. Tomorrow, I may go out with some friends (my companion of last night's movie included), or I might go shooting with my dad and his best friend of forty years. Today, I went shopping with my mum, and got a bright-teal jacket, and some nice new shoes. Yay! Shoes!

As for the latter topic, the girl that is the biggest offender unveiled her sexuality to the entire class, before introducing her individually to everyone. Through a powerpoint presentation on herself. It was literally the first point she made, under a specially made category titled "sexuality".

We're a kind now? I thought that sort of broad labeling was the kind of thing you disliked.

Satire, m'friend. I dislike stereotypes, but that doesn't mean I don't like a good joke aimed towards my hair. Or claiming my favorite metal band's lead singer sounds like a country singer.

I still have it in an open window, I'll edit your first post on this page to the latter revision.

Thanks, but I... Uh... Didn't notice that post until I completely rewrote my old one.

[Qaera]

If she used PowerPoint, she's definitely not bisexual.

Bisexuals exclusively use Prezi, of course.

But, people come out in different ways. To my logical-mathematical mind (types of intelligence woo!) a presentation would be streamlined; I could cover bases before hand. I don't talk well, especially on the spot, so having a slide like thus:

Pansexual - What does it mean?
Attraction to:
*Pots
*Pans
*miscellaneous cookware

Would be really helpful for explaining to my parents, what it means. I couldn't honestly tell you what it means if you asked me on the street, but thinking about it and writing it down, help.

Different perspectives!

~ ♅

[Kindablue]

Or claiming my favorite metal band's lead singer sounds like a country singer.

Yea-yeah! Oh yeah!

[Triscuitable]

Yea-yeah! Oh yeah!

He's surprisingly good at imitating him.

[Laser Frog]

Arachu is right, but there isn't much I know. I could give you a butchered version of what I've learned, but I mostly hang out here because I'm a guy who likes penis and finds that boobs get in the way of full hug enjoyment. That and the people here are AWESOME!



Um, as in bard... Like I can sing for our troops, give speeches, use my body to perform with realistic gestures, dancing which I hope to improve, and on rare occasions private morale boosting sessions.



Exactly how I meant it? Bard with ranks in Perform (sing, oratory, act, a few in dance, and a few in Sexual Techniques). Well I knew it was charisma based, but I thought it would be a different skill, instead it works really well with the Gem of Radiance (81050 neck slot +6 Cha enhancement, +15 diplomacy and Perform (all))

...I need an adult.

But yeah, Lix did have a point. Perhaps saying that sort of thing (AKA, the bolded stuff) is a bit close to the line.

[Rawhide]

Thrice-cook-able, may I give you some advice?

Stop caring about what others say about themselves, stop being bothered about what they claim. Yes, there are women out there who will pretend to be bisexual in order to pique the interest of certain types of men (as you can imagine, this rarely leads to much more than physical intimacy). This is nothing new and it has been going on for, well, a very long time. But there are also a great majority of them who will actually be bisexual to different degrees (some may just enjoy the occasional physical contact of a woman, but would never consider a long term relationship with one). There may also be bisexual women who, through circumstance and/or percentage of preference, actually never end up in either in a relationship or being physically intimate with another women.

Also try to remember that society accepts women who identify as Lettuce, Bacon or Tomato far more readily than it accepts men who identify as Garlic, Bacon or Tomato. Not everyone and not everywhere, but there is a huge difference in the level of acceptance. So, women who actually do identify as one of the above categories are are far more likely to be open about it.

[KenderWizard]

Hey everyone! Yesterday I went to see the Avengers and it was AMAZING! Didn't pass the Bechdel test, though. There were two female characters, who were once in the same large room, and that was it. On the other hand, there was more Black Widow and Hawkeye stuff than I expected, so that's cool. I am now officially attracted to all members of the Avengers (movie version) except Captain America and Hulk. But especially Thor. But ESPECIALLY Loki. I'm so glad Loki's adopted because if they were biological brothers it'd be way creepier that I really want them to make out.

Anyway!

I have to say, I'm also glad that we're having a deeper conversation about expressions of identity and such based on Tricuitable's opinions of the people in his school, because I feel the same way as Golentan, Qaera and others here.

Trisc, do you think you would be able to let go of your feelings about these people bothering you? I understand that their behaviour as you view it is annoying to you, and it's really frustrating in school to be stuck with the same group of people if they bother you. But it's not like you're going to be able to change them, and in fact you have no right to do so. Could you just try to ignore it for a while and let yourself use that mental energy elsewhere? I mean properly ignore it, not devote thought to it, rather than just ignoring them while fuming about their wicked ways. On the grand scheme of life, and frankly even on the not-so-grand scheme of school, this isn't that big of a deal.

Other points:
Can you please stop ragging on the girl who introduced herself as bisexual in a powerpoint presentation? You say it was a "powerpoint presentation on herself". Well then that's completely f**king legitimate, isn't it? Correct me if I've misinterpreted this, but it sounds like she gave a presentation about herself and included... an aspect of her identity. Shocker!! She must be a lying w***e! It'd be weird if she did it at the start of a presentation about, say, pollen, but actually still not a sin, just kind of odd. If I was giving a presentation about myself in a liberal school, damn right I would have a slide on my orientation.

And if she or anyone else isn't "really" bisexual (or any other identity), if they are doing it for attention, you know, that's not a sin either. Being a "barsexual" is allowed. You might personally disapprove, but they're allowed to do what they want. I don't think it's a good thing to do, to identify as a less-privileged group if you're not, but the reason I don't like it is because people come along and say things like you've been saying, that lots of FtMs are doing it for attention, or lots of girls who say they're bi are faking it to get attention from men. In a world without those judgments, it wouldn't matter if people lied about their identity, or experimented (also completely legitimate).

I don't mean to come off as too harsh, here, and I do appreciate that it bothers you and that's something that's hard for you to control, but you are being very judgmental of these people. Can you see how that might bother us?

Guys I'm a salad?

Hi and thank you. Are there reasons here to make cis or trans distinctions? I saw an MtF button for sex but I didn't like it.

No reasons at all, just personal preference, as other people have said!

We've got a whole bunch of different genders and orientations represented, just among the regulars. Let's see... we've got asexuals, demisexuals, bi/pansexuals, homosexuals, genderfluids, transsexuals (I think only MtF, though?). And probably more*.

Apart from that, we've got feminists, aliens, kobolds and assorted silly people.

So, ask about anything. I'm sure someone here has an answer

*I humbly ask forgiveness from anyone I might have forgotten.

Oh! Oh! You forgot straight people! Like Asta!

That, or something like a deal with fae/a wish spell/etc., where the effects aren't always what one intends, but rather what one says.

And I should probably stop asking questions like this now. They're technically LGBTA+ related, but I have a feeling that the intent of the thread is rather different (even if I am uncertain as to what other section to use for them, since I doubt the game related areas would have good answers )...

Oh, I don't think there's a rule that says you can't. We talk about anything LGBT+ related that doesn't break board rules. I think it's good to do some game-y philosophical questions along with the real life stuff sometimes.

[Heliomance]

I remember at least one FtM posting in these threads. Don't remember his name though.

Danne's FtM, IIRC.

It's weird, the differences I notice in my character when I'm feeling like a girl. I become a lot more "sub", wanting to be the cuddlee rather than the cuddler and such.

[Lady Serpentine]

Oh! Oh! You forgot straight people! Like Asta!



Oh, I don't think there's a rule that says you can't. We talk about anything LGBT+ related that doesn't break board rules. I think it's good to do some game-y philosophical questions along with the real life stuff sometimes.

And me, for that matter. Though I don't think I ever specified, so that's not exactly your fault.

And yeah, I know there's not exactly a rule, it just seems sort of like I'm derailing the rest of the conversation that goes on here, which I really don't want to do. Though, like I said, it's not exactly like there's another section of the forum that would work for it, so I probably will post more of them from time to time.

[SiuiS]

Satire, m'friend. I dislike stereotypes, but that doesn't mean I don't like a good joke aimed towards my hair. Or claiming my favorite metal band's lead singer sounds like a country singer.

I'm not one to talk, having maybe barely just dodged the Poor-Communication-Bullet, but it's omnipresent enough that I had no way of knowing you mean it as satire.

Anyway!

I have to say, I'm also glad that we're having a deeper conversation about expressions of identity and such based on Tricuitable's opinions of the people in his school, because I feel the same way as Golentan, Qaera and others here.

Aw, now I feel bad for letting the eloquent folk say stuff for me.

Oh! Oh! You forgot straight people! Like Asta!

Huh. You'd think I'd have caught that.

Danne's FtM, IIRC.

It's weird, the differences I notice in my character when I'm feling like girl. I become a lot more "sub", wanting to be the cuddlee rather than the cuddler and such.

interesting.
This seems relatively common. Do you suppose it has to do with gender perceptions? Or perhaps a negative thereof; that one side has to be a certain way, so the other side is more relaxed (as opposed to submissive being the certain way... Such poor phrasing, sorry).

[Asta Kask]

Inofficial thread title: "Occasionally on topic."

[Glass Mouse]

As for the latter topic, the girl that is the biggest offender unveiled her sexuality to the entire class, before introducing her individually to everyone. Through a powerpoint presentation on herself. It was literally the first point she made, under a specially made category titled "sexuality".

Well, she had to start the powerpoint with something, didn't she?

I really, really don't understand why this is worth devoting so much energy to. And on that note...

*stuff about the deeper conversation about expressions of identity and such based on Tricuitable's opinions of the people in his school*

Amen.

Oh! Oh! You forgot straight people! Like Asta!

And cis! Hahaha, oh that is bad

[Lady Serpentine]

It's weird, the differences I notice in my character when I'm feeling like a girl. I become a lot more "sub", wanting to be the cuddlee rather than the cuddler and such.

I've always found such things tend towards equal levels of activity/passivity from all participants. Thus, I'm confused as to the difference between cuddlee and cuddler. Elaborate, please?

Inofficial thread title: "Occasionally on topic."

Perhaps the next one's title can be 'LGBTAitp 24: Derailments per Page'. (Or maybe 'LGBTAitp 24: Pages per Day'...)

[Castaras]

I've always found such things tend towards equal levels of activity/passivity from all participants. Thus, I'm confused as to the difference between cuddlee and cuddler. Elaborate, please?

I'm guessing it's like one person being the one wrapping their arms around the other, and the other snuggling up. Or spooning, with the big spoon being the cuddler and the little spoon being cuddled.

[pffh]

I've always found such things tend towards equal levels of activity/passivity from all participants. Thus, I'm confused as to the difference between cuddlee and cuddler. Elaborate, please?

Big spoon vs little spoon and Head in lap vs lap and others like it.

[Astrella]

Tired, so I'm not going to catch up with the remainder of the thread, so I'm just going to throw in my agreement with Qaera on the identity stuff.

Nai Calus and Danne are the only trans men (not 100% sure about Danne) who I've seen posting in this thread.

Re: Letter; what Keveak said basically (because they alway make good points (I'm not 100% on your preferred pronouns, Keveak, so feel free to correct me. )), be supportive, avoid being dismissive because it's very likely going to be something that doesn't actually cause harm. People shouldn't be judged for what makes them happy (baring it harming other people) in my opinion~

Edit: I like your new avi, Glass Mouse.

[supernerd]

...I need an adult.

But yeah, Lix did have a point. Perhaps saying that sort of thing (AKA, the bolded stuff) is a bit close to the line.

Yeah, this is true, but my friends say I am the spitting image of the bard's purpose. Good to have around but pretty useless on my own (and every day I'm learning all my life I've only been pretending! Without me his world just keeps on turning, and he is full of happiness that I have never known! I love him. I love him. I love him, but only on my own.)

[Lady Serpentine]

And cis! Hahaha, oh that is bad

Apparently there's a rather high concentration of ninjas here, too... It's just that one never actually sees them.

I'm guessing it's like one person being the one wrapping their arms around the other, and the other snuggling up. Or spooning, with the big spoon being the cuddler and the little spoon being cuddled.

I'd been viewing the first as being the same sort of thing I was talking about, since both people tend to end up nestled against and holding each other, but I can see how one might interpret it differently.

And the second (as well as what Pffh mentioned, though I couldn't figure out a good way to quote them without unnecessary splitting of points and/or making the above confusing) definitely makes sense. Those just haven't tended to be the sorts of things that have happened in my case, likely due to the personalities of the people that cuddling has occurred with, and the circumstances under which it has, so those weren't what sprang to mind.

[MilesTiden]

Ah, over here in Fabulosity Bay, I actually have had no real 'problems' with ascertaining the gender and sexuality of my fellow students, seeing as it is obvious about each and every one of them who claims to be 'trans' or 'bi' or anything else for that matter whether they are telling the truth or not, because obviously their gender and sexuality is very clearly defined because of their actions and how much they announce it loudly to everyone within earshot. All those people who are not outwardly showing it are obviously not actually what they claim to be, and I know each and every one of them perfectly because I do.

Before you all lynch me and bite my head off, note that 1. this is bitter sarcasm, 2. I am on 3 hours of sleep in three days, 3. I ran out of meds. I am not actually this pissed off, I just needed to fill up my 'snarky *******' quota for the day before it became a problem.

This was also painful to write. Very painful.

[Mina Kobold]

Re: Letter; what Keveak said basically (because they alway make good points (I'm not 100% on your preferred pronouns, Keveak, so feel free to correct me. )), be supportive, avoid being dismissive because it's very likely going to be something that doesn't actually cause harm. People shouldn't be judged for what makes them happy (baring it harming other people) in my opinion~

Yay! I made good points! ^_^

I prefer they, but I have nothing against it, she, xe, he, zyr or most other pronouns.

I always make good points? T-thanks.

[Lea Plath]

Morning all. Just got back from my friends 18th. I have the best friends in the world, I swear.

Anyway, allow me to throw pennies at people.

@Tris: You really ain't coming across well and it doesn't really effect you, does it? Let people be people. If they are faking, it is kind of sad they need to lie to be intresting. If they aren't, you are refusing to accept they might be, until they pass some kind of test.

@Everyone else: I've heard of xe, but never zyr? How do you even pronounce that?

All.
*Sleepy good morning hugs for all*

[Glass Mouse]

Edit: I like your new avi, Glass Mouse.

Thanks! I figured it was about time I made an oots-themed avi

Before you all lynch me and bite my head off, note that 1. this is bitter sarcasm, 2. I am on 3 hours of sleep in three days, 3. I ran out of meds. I am not actually this pissed off, I just needed to fill up my 'snarky *******' quota for the day before it became a problem.

This was also painful to write. Very painful.

*...quietly puts away pitchfork*

I always make good points? T-thanks.

Sure you do! And always in a way that leaves one smiling

[Lady Serpentine]

@Everyone else: I've heard of xe, but never zyr? How do you even pronounce that?

All.
*Sleepy good morning hugs for all*

It would be either 'zer' or 'zire'.

*Returns hug. And with an appropriate number of arms, too!*

[Socratov]

Tired, so I'm not going to catch up with the remainder of the thread, so I'm just going to throw in my agreement with Qaera on the identity stuff.

Nai Calus and Danne are the only trans men (not 100% sure about Danne) who I've seen posting in this thread.

Re: Letter; what Keveak said basically (because they alway make good points (I'm not 100% on your preferred pronouns, Keveak, so feel free to correct me. )), be supportive, avoid being dismissive because it's very likely going to be something that doesn't actually cause harm. People shouldn't be judged for what makes them happy (baring it harming other people) in my opinion~

Edit: I like your new avi, Glass Mouse.

Yay! I made good points! ^_^

I prefer they, but I have nothing against it, she, xe, he, zyr or most other pronouns.

I always make good points? T-thanks.

well, I just read the letter and it was pretty much straightforward and informative. I told him that the letter won't rock people's world (I mean, peole had some ideas on what was happening, but apart form that it's good that he himself tells people and give information). I did tell him people are probably going to ask questions in a curious manner (let's be honest, how many times will it happen that a transgender lives in your student dorm and actually goes through the process of, sell for lack of a better word, self actualisiation), and he is okay with that so yeah... now i guess i will se what happens

Thanks for the advice it helped a lot in dealing with it personally

[Carecalmo]

AWESOME!

This makes my eyes happy. Thank you. : )
Also, welcome AuroraF! I must admit, I cannot claim to hold any secret knowledge (aside from a few choice morsels of my own thinking) but I find that this thread covers a lot of ground between all of those who use it.

It's weird, the differences I notice in my character when I'm feeling like a girl. I become a lot more "sub", wanting to be the cuddlee rather than the cuddler and such.

Interesting, but perhaps not so surprising. After all, identity is also negotiated in how others treat you. Perhaps you're conforming to what you think other people view as more feminine? Maybe even subconsciously? It is easier to maintain a positive self-image if that image receives positive/reinforcing feedback from others, after all.

I want to post something about how I find it fascinating that you talk about yourself as "feeling like a girl" (or boy). As if your feelings of self/identity are separate from your self. At least, that is how I read it.

Then again, my way of handling identity consists mainly of feeling like a maelstrom of thoughts and sensory inputs that swirl around a tiny window of calm consciousness. Then it is a lot of trying to juggle the masks/roles that society has made available to me in order to balance all these contradictory thoughts and feelings and still waking up every morning. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't really feel like anything but I'm very conscious of how people treat me based on what they feel I am.

All.
*Sleepy good morning hugs for all*

Yay, morning hugs! *hugs back*

And hi, everyone. *waves*

As for my personal stories, I decided to end the correspondence with the man who contacted me anonymously and wanted to put me in a summer dress. So far it is working - I have heard nothing from him. If he starts acting up/gets dramatic, it will be a case for the police to handle.

On the dating front, all is well, except that I cannot get anybody to go see the Avengers movie with me. I don't really know what to do about that. EDIT: and that is not really a real problem.