LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles

[Taliesin]

I had a friend about whom I knew for years that she only found men with long hair attractive - she said that when someone cut their hair, their attractiveness dropped automatically to zero and she just couldn't see them as people she might be romantically/visually attracted to.

And yeah, when the Tennant played The Doctor, she said that, amazingly, she found Tennant attractive - despite having short hair.

So yes, Tennant seems to cross lines of sexual and asexual preferences.

[Mono Vertigo]

That's because he's spent quite some time in direct proximity to Jack Harkness.


Well, I've not been very active here, because of RL priorities (helping BF with LGBT-unrelated problems, looking for a job, raging on my family, scumbag brain acting abnormally in all the bad ways). I've skipped on hugging duties. That is bad. I should resolve that right away.
*hugs*
*hugs*
*hugs*
*hugs*
*more hugs*
Alas, like it often happens, I don't have good advice for those of you who did complain about real problems, nor do I have very verbose ways of comforting you. The verbal description of hugs on a screen is surely a device that is getting old, I'm sorry about that. My brain is just very work-focused these days, it has an easier time popping up ass-kissing [bovine excrements] for the sake of getting a job, than sincere empathy. For the record, the above is sincere.

[Mynxae]

I had a friend about whom I knew for years that she only found men with long hair attractive - she said that when someone cut their hair, their attractiveness dropped automatically to zero and she just couldn't see them as people she might be romantically/visually attracted to.

And yeah, when the Tennant played The Doctor, she said that, amazingly, she found Tennant attractive - despite having short hair.

So yes, Tennant seems to cross lines of sexual and asexual preferences.

Yeah, I was at that stage for a while. Even now I still prefer men with longer hair than not (even if it's at that dreamy stage when falls into their beautiful eyes). Sorry, I went on a bit there...

[Irish Musician]

I have had long hair for......ummm.......about 12 years now at various lengths. Just saying

[noparlpf]

I cut my hair. (I take some small sadistic pleasure from showing this progression to people who like long hair.)

Spoiler

Show

Before (two springs ago):

Spoiler

Show

Last year:

Spoiler

Show

Now (a month and a half ago):

Spoiler

Show

[The Succubus]

You look really, really good with short hair.

[Irish Musician]

You look really, really good with short hair.

Agreed man. You pull off short hair very well. I am scared that if I cut mine short I will be like "What the *balnkety-blank*?"

ATM, however, I am starting to grow my hair out so I can donate it to Wigs for Kids. Locks of Love charges WAY too much for their wigs, and that's not cool.

[bluewind95]

... Wow, just a few days and so many pages! I'll catch up later, cos I can't right now, but I do have a favour to ask!

There's this word "fruit" that my friend wants to use in a comic, but she says that it has connotations of "gay" and she's not intending to use it if it's an offensive kind of connotation. But she doesn't know if it is offensive (and neither do I. I hadn't even heard it referring to gays before).

So is it a word she can use, or is it a word that she'd be best finding a substitute for?

[The Succubus]

It's a rather dated derogatory term for gay men, mainly being used in the 70s and 80s. I can provided more cheerful alternative words depending on context.

[Asta Kask]

It's a rather dated derogatory term for gay men, mainly being used in the 70s and 80s. I can provided more cheerful alternative words depending on context.

Few people realize it, but homosexuals actually smell deliciously of pineapple.

[Irish Musician]

Few people realize it, but homosexuals actually smell deliciously of pineapple.

Also, strawberries......

[Rawhide]

... Wow, just a few days and so many pages! I'll catch up later, cos I can't right now, but I do have a favour to ask!

There's this word "fruit" that my friend wants to use in a comic, but she says that it has connotations of "gay" and she's not intending to use it if it's an offensive kind of connotation. But she doesn't know if it is offensive (and neither do I. I hadn't even heard it referring to gays before).

So is it a word she can use, or is it a word that she'd be best finding a substitute for?

If you have access to Netflix or can find another legal way of watching it, Just Shoot Me 2x13 (season 2, episode 13) "Pass the Salt", about a father coming to terms with a gay son in the most boisterous way possible, includes a small section on fruit in the second half.

[Kindablue]

I did come out to her, but there's a difference between coming out, and deciding on a life altering course of medical work. Being trans is dissimilar to everything else in the LGBTA title because it's not entirely mental, it's drastically mechanical in a lot of cases as well.

My girlfriend does not want a girlfriend. She finds value in gender archetypes. She wants to breed. She wants to get married. I do too.

The problem is, do I try to transition now like I want to, screw the family we can't have now; do I rush into kids so I can get that out I the way and transition even though transition may chase her off; do I swallow all of this and play house until I'm a fifty year old dressing up in privacy and crying into a tub of Hagen Daz; etc.

Communication would force this conflict to the resolution stage. I do not know that I am in any state to handle resolution. It will be messy.

No one should sacrifice their happiness for the sake of another person's. Beyond that, I don't know. If it doesn't work out, there was probably no way that it ever could have for the both of you, and you shouldn't feel like that's your fault. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

It's not even that he's particularly attractive. He's just a very charismatic actor, I think. He has a very expressive face.

And yet so few feel this way about Willem Dafoe...

I had a friend about whom I knew for years that she only found men with long hair attractive - she said that when someone cut their hair, their attractiveness dropped automatically to zero and she just couldn't e them as people she might be romantically/visually attracted to.

Ah, yes. Reverse Delilah Syndrome.

... Wow, just a few days and so many pages! I'll catch up later, cos I can't right now, but I do have a favour to ask!

There's this word "fruit" that my friend wants to use in a comic, but she says that it has connotations of "gay" and she's not intending to use it if it's an offensive kind of connotation. But she doesn't know if it is offensive (and neither do I. I hadn't even heard it referring to gays before).

So is it a word she can use, or is it a word that she'd be best finding a substitute for?

What's the context? It is a derogatory word for effeminate men, and if that's all she meant by it, I wouldn't worry. It's not very politically charged anymore.

[noparlpf]

You look really, really good with short hair.

Thanks. I try.

Agreed man. You pull off short hair very well. I am scared that if I cut mine short I will be like "What the *balnkety-blank*?"

ATM, however, I am starting to grow my hair out so I can donate it to Wigs for Kids. Locks of Love charges WAY too much for their wigs, and that's not cool.

I think that two years ago when I cut off most of it (18") we donated to Wigs 4 Kids. The last one (only about 11-12") is still sitting in a bag on my shelf...
Yeah, when I found out about Locks of Love's policies, I was a bit upset.

[Irish Musician]

I did come out to her, but there's a difference between coming out, and deciding on a life altering course of medical work. Being trans is dissimilar to everything else in the LGBTA title because it's not entirely mental, it's drastically mechanical in a lot of cases as well.

My girlfriend does not want a girlfriend. She finds value in gender archetypes. She wants to breed. She wants to get married. I do too.

The problem is, do I try to transition now like I want to, screw the family we can't have now; do I rush into kids so I can get that out I the way and transition even though transition may chase her off; do I swallow all of this and play house until I'm a fifty year old dressing up in privacy and crying into a tub of Hagen Daz; etc.

Communication would force this conflict to the resolution stage. I do not know that I am in any state to handle resolution. It will be messy.

All I can say is be honest with yourself and be honest with her. Don't put yourself in a situation where either of you are just in the relationship to make the other happy......that will end even messier. I know that potentially having things broken off would really suck and hurt right now, but in the long run, if both of you want completely different things, then maybe traveling different roads is the best thing. I really don't mean to sound harsh or uncaring, but letting things stagnate, or even worse going along a course in which you will be unhappy for the rest of your life, is not a good idea.

Of course, if you are not yet ready to deal with all of this, then give yourself some time to prepare for a conversation with her. But don't wait too long, otherwise you might start down the road of unhappiness and that isn't something that will help anyone. My PM box is always open if you need some help or advise, or whatever

[Heliomance]

Just saw this. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.



I really really hope she didn't actually say it.

EDIT: Apparently she did. Oh dear.

[Coidzor]

Which is funny because she's only notable because of her sex tape and for being a vapid, useless person with fabulous amounts of filthy lucre.

[Irish Musician]

EDIT: Apparently she did. Oh dear.

Yeah, that's one of those things that is just so utterly stupid.....it must be true. She makes me want to chop some wood........and not in the dirty way. I mean get an axe and shop down a tree, just to get my frustrations out.

[bluewind95]

Thanks for the replies.

The context is basically a fantasy comic where a character just happens to have an origin related to fruits (as in the edible kind). So another character would call him a fruit. The "fruit" character has an ambiguous sexuality.

So this is acceptable, then?

[Heliomance]

Facepalm-worthy, but probably acceptable.

[Coidzor]

Thanks for the replies.

The context is basically a fantasy comic where a character just happens to have an origin related to fruits (as in the edible kind). So another character would call him a fruit. The "fruit" character has an ambiguous sexuality.

So this is acceptable, then?

Depends on how it's played, I imagine.

[Asta Kask]

Just saw this. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Really? I'd prefer it if she moved to another planet myself.

[Irish Musician]

Really? I'd prefer it if she moved to another planet myself.

There is enough of us......I think we could kick her off our planet.

[noparlpf]

Just saw this. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.



I really really hope she didn't actually say it.

EDIT: Apparently she did. Oh dear.

All the facepalms?

Which is funny because she's only notable because of her sex tape and for being a vapid, useless person with fabulous amounts of filthy lucre.

Oh, irony. It's still sad.

[Kindablue]

I don't see anything offensive about that, bluewind. Though I also think that even if it were offensive it would still be acceptable.

[Kneenibble]

Look, if anybody is still getting sincerely upset about the things Paris Hilton says or does, then she has already won. It's her schtick. The negative attention feeds her. She doesn't speak for the planet.

Few people realize it, but homosexuals actually smell deliciously of pineapple.

Also, strawberries......

Taste like, too.

[KenderWizard]

That would be really nice. Hope you get it.

And good luck to the fabulous Kender! What field would your Masters be in, should you get the funding?

*crosses fingers*

That sounds quite stressful, I wish you good luck.

Good luck!

Big thank you to ye all! Still waiting, slowly going mad. Okay, pretty quickly. I'm anxious. Anx anx anx. Anxious.

The research would be a seismological study of Asia, for the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty Organisation.

I know the feeling. Remember to keep well hydrated - always have a bottle of red wine for extreme circumstances. Chocolate is good to. I would say I'm sorry for tempting into a life of debauchery, but you're Irish so you've probably been tempted before...

I've got white wine. And chocolate.

The problem is, do I try to transition now like I want to, screw the family we can't have now; do I rush into kids so I can get that out I the way and transition even though transition may chase her off; do I swallow all of this and play house until I'm a fifty year old dressing up in privacy and crying into a tub of Hagen Daz; etc.

I agree with the others; not that last one! First question I'd ask is, how attached are you to the idea that the kids are your genetic offspring? If the answer is anything other than "desperately", I'd take a deep breath on the kids right now. It's not fair on children to bring them into a crumbling relationship or a difficult period. I mean, it happens, and it's no one's fault, but it's a big deal, especially for them and a big decision. There are steps you can take, like saving some sperm, so you can make babies post-transition, or there's adoption (although that might be difficult depending on where you live, etc).

The first person you have to look after is you. You know that thing about putting on your own oxygen mask before you attend to others? You are no good to anyone if you're suffocating in the wrong body, or a rapidly decompressing airplane cabin. Being happy is more important and more likely to lead to long-term contentment, and a life free of regrets, than a relationship is. If you need to transition, you need to transition, it's a treatment for a problem you have, and I strongly believe if you put it off for someone else, who won't support what you need to do, you will end up resenting that person and the relationship will suffer anyway.

I cut my hair. (I take some small sadistic pleasure from showing this progression to people who like long hair.)

Spoiler

Show

Before (two springs ago):

Spoiler

Show

Last year:

Spoiler

Show

Now (a month and a half ago):

Spoiler

Show

Wow! ... Is it weird if I feel attracted to you, since we're the same person? Short hair _does_ suit you.

[Zorg]

On kids - they can be yours and later, just need to put 'em in the bank before HRT. Gives you time to save up for IVF that way :/

[noparlpf]

Big thank you to ye all! Still waiting, slowly going mad. Okay, pretty quickly. I'm anxious. Anx anx anx. Anxious.

The research would be a seismological study of Asia, for the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty Organisation.

Ooh, that sounds neat. Definitely a worthwhile law, too.

Wow! ... Is it weird if I feel attracted to you, since we're the same person? Short hair _does_ suit you.

Not weird at all. I'm attracted to myself. Sometimes I'm thinking about shaving when I just get lost in my eyes in the mirror...

[Irish Musician]

Big thank you to ye all! Still waiting, slowly going mad. Okay, pretty quickly. I'm anxious. Anx anx anx. Anxious.

You know what helps me not be so anxious? Jameson, mmmmm, nectar of the gods

The research would be a seismological study of Asia, for the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty Organisation.

Wow, that is awesomely crazy. And I feel fairly dumb now