[NEXUS] MagCave VI: What Is a Mag? A Miserable Little Pile of Circuits!

[Gullara]

[MagCave - Transitory]

Mimi files the info on cameras away for later. She'll have to keep that in mind. For now she follows along with Riss and Misha, chatting randomly about nothing in particular. She will certainly not object to heading to the pool when it's time for that.

[Lord Magtok]

MagAssemblyLine

And here I thought he'd have caught up with that time he was given. Forgot how slowly Mag runs in a robe.

The screwdriver hits the left ear and it tilts down at a very awkward angle, like a lever and there's a small ding. A clue maybe?

Doesn't seem to stop the Gremlin right off though.
"Death Robot Footballlll!!" It zips over to the robot head, winds up and takes a ridiculously powered kick to send it at Magtok. "FOUR!"
Just what game are we playing here?

Magtok takes the robot head right to the gut, his hands wrapped around the sides of Mainframe's face to try to soften the blow slightly. It doesn't do much, but it does prevent him from getting knocked right over by the thing. With a wince and a glower, the cyborg lifts the Death Robot Football over his head.

"I know what this looks like and I swear this isn't a reflection of how things are going to be from now on you can forgive me later!"

Magtok rattles that entire apology out as fast as he can, not even waiting until he's halfway down before throwing Mainframe's head right back at the Gremlin.

[Jacklu]

Miss Kale arrives back to the Magcave with a long convoy of dumptrucks loaded with those little green plastic army men. They drive around back and unload the men into a huge bin before heading out again. The trucks will return a few more times over the next few hours, bringing back more and more of the army men and unloading them. Miss Kale returns to her lab during this process and begins experimenting with the men.

Several hours later she has a magbot bring her some equipment and she fiddles around with it, chucking from time to time. Eventually she sends a message to Magtok, requesting his presence in her lab at his earliest convenience. She makes a note to reassure him that there will be no wood chippers this time. I bet he feels reassured already.

[happyturtle]

MagAssembly Line

Mainframe suborns another Magbot and has it roll over to Margret. "Are you operational?" It asks.

[Reinholdt]

MagAssembly Line

The other ear/lever is hit. It comes down before they both pull up and its eyes start spinning, slot machine noises clearly heard. The Gremlin is perfectly stationary during this.

Spin spin spin spin...
I wonder what he'll win.

*****

Margret beeps a bit.
Operational Diagnostics Run.
Diagnostics: Positive
Motor functions: Negative
Weapons: Negative
Internal Containment Field: Positive
Speech functions: Error
Memory: Positive

I think those are the important ones.

[happyturtle]

MagAssembly Line

"It seems not." Mainframe says. The Magbot picks up Margret and heads for an exit that's as far away from the gremlin as possible.

Clearly it's not going to get a body capable of sulking today. Mainframe would sulk about that, but...

[Lord Magtok]

Kale Laboratory

Magtok arrives immediately, terribly curious as to how a bunch of silly toy army men that fell from the sky could possibly be useful to anyone, anywhere, for any reason at all.

"I hope there's more to this requested visit than war games, Ms. Kale. I haven't been a child, squabbling about invisible imaginary forcefields, making silly bullet sounds with my mouth, or insisting that my jeep leapt in the way at the last second since...I don't know, eight months now? Around that long. Clones age fast."

MagAssembly Line

Well, since the thing feels like standing perfectly still, this is an excellent opportunity to seize it in one's hands and glare contemptously whilst rooting around in a pocket for some sort of laser cage or bludgeon or whatever else, is it not?

[Jacklu]

Kale's laboratory

Kale turns to face Magtok and smiles.

I think you'll be interested with my finding. I analyzed the initial samples and found that the toys are packed with chaos energy in large quantities. Dispelling it has... unpredictable effects.

She motions to a small glass dome on one of her desks. Inside the dome is a single toy soldier. She hits a button and a dispell is cast on the toy. It turns back to rain water. The glass dome turns into moss and slumps as it loses its shape.

It only happens when they are dispelled. I had some ground up and pressed into pellets and had a prototype weapon constructed.

She rolls over to her desk and hefts what looks a lot like a modified nerf gun. She wheels over to Magtok and holds it out to him.

The gun dispells the pellet and directs the chaos down the barrel in the form of compressed energy blast. It holds its shape up to ten meters before collapsing. Anything it hits will be subject random alteration. Please, try it for yourself.

A clay bust bearing a strong resemblance to a magclone rises from the desk, next to the mossy remains of the glass dome.

[Reinholdt]

MagAssembly Line -> Outside MagAssembly Line

Well she's sort of functional...

Margret gets carted out. Mister Squiggles will arrive next post to help Mainframe out with that.

MagAssembly Line

An opportunity, a golden opportunity, to do some sort of terrible damage to the Gremlin and rid yourself of it forever Magtok and you choose to pick it up and glare. You sure you don't want to be a loony tune yourself?

Anyways, the roulette comes to a stop, showing a pair of faces, both the same. I'm sure Magtok's familiar with him.

Spoiler

Show

I believe Magtok may have just lost all his rings.

[happyturtle]

A random workshop

Mainframe carries Margret into a random workshop and puts her on a workbench, like a patient awaiting surgery. I forget whether the access panel was on front or back, but whichever side that is on is up.

[Lord Magtok]

Kale's Laboratory

"To put it in layman's terms, chaos lasers. Powered by little green army men toys."

Magtok nods approvingly, hefting the weapon up to point right at the bust of himself. Funny, he could've sworn he had one just like this in the foyer a few weeks ago, before it inexplicably went missing...

BLAM! The weapon is fired!

MagAssembly Line

Nooooo, Magtok's rings! All two or three or so of them scatter all over the floor, and immediately start to fade away! Shoot, now he's going to have to go get new ones and not lose them before the next boss battle that's going to be a humongous pain in the neck!

The gremlin is dropped as he gets flung backwards. He manages to recover one or two of the rings whilst charging after the gremlin again, ignoring the things as they vanish upon contact. No, he's done with this nonsense now; it's gremlin-stomping time, and he's not going to let a single thing distract him anymore.

[Jacklu]

Kale's Laboratory

Blorp! The bust is now slugs. A big 'ol pile of slugs.

It seems to be just as effective on living material as well. I have several teams out collecting a large supply of the toys to be turned into ammunition. I am fairly certain I'll be able to replicate the effects with enough study.

The computer screen behind her powers on and beeps loudly. An exclamation mark in a red triangle flashes, taking up most of the screen. Kale looks at it and frowns.

[Lord Magtok]

Kale's Laboratory

Magtok glances at the screen, and shakes his head. "But there's a downside."

Ugh, there's always a downside. Darn it Kale, you should've built one into the weapon, instead of waiting for the Nexus to go ahead and provide one for you like this!

"So what's gone horribly wrong, then?"

[Reinholdt]

A random workshop

The access panel is on her back, so she'd be laying face down.

Mister Squiggles arrives, probably through Mainframe's portals, and chitters. Hi Mainframe.

MagAssembly Line

"Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop."

The gremlin is flung backwards! And Magtok's rearing up for a charge no less! The gremlin takes out a paintbrush and paintcan and paints a black square on the floor in absolutely record time. Heck, it's already dry. He steps on it to look it over. It's a good black square.

Of course, when Magtok gets close enough, he'll go to step back off the square and hopefully let Magtok fling himself right into that hole in the floor. Really should put a hazard sign there, warning him of pitfalls.

[Jacklu]

Kale's Laboratory

The only downside of the weapons is their unpredictability. Chaos, as one might expect, is hard to control. There is no way to control what effect the energy will have on the target. If there is a malfunction with the firing mechanism, it might also lead to unintended effects on the wielder.

She wheels over to her console and starts typing. The alert shrinks to the upper corner of the screen but continues to pulse. Bars and squiggly data lines appear on the screen.

For once, nothing has gone horribly wrong. I decided to use some of the chaos energy on the dead clone you lent me and it seems as though its gestation period has abruptly conclude.

The pod mounted on the wall begins to vent a thick white fog that fills the room. Lights flash across its control panels and the seal on the door breaks with a sucking hiss. Miss Kale backs away from her console and moves towards the pod, quickly becoming obscured as the fog thickens.

It should be safe. You... might want to back up a little.

[Lord Magtok]

Kale's Laboratory

"So aliens aren't landing in their mile-long warships and angrily demanding the return of their chaos energy toys, then? Well that's unexpected."

Wow. You have some really grim and cynical expectations, don't you, Magtok?

"Alright, but I'm keeping an eye out for misfortune and disaster anyways. Y'know, so as to not tempt fate and stuff."

Magtok steps back and lowers the chaos energy weapon, steeling himself for some sort of horrible explosion-filled scientific disaster. The moment he hears a 'Oh gods, what have I done?!' or 'Aaaaugh! Sir, it's eating my cerebellum', he's opening fire.

MagAssembly Line

"Oh fu-"

Magtok tumbles right in! Oh noes! Now who's going to catch the gremlin?! Mainframe can't be trusted for that, and another MagClone is liable to just fall for the same tricks that-

"I can fly, jerkface. Stop narrating like I'm dead."

Oh, right. Fine, Magtok floats his way back after taking a moment or two of free-falling to sort out which way is up. He then throws a birdcage at the wretched little devilbeast. Maybe that will be enough to finally get it to stop being a nuisance!

[Jacklu]

Kale's Laboratory

The pod opens fully and the room falls into complete obscurity from the fog. Kale makes a mental note to calibrate the fog machines. Dramatic tension is one thing, this it is too hard to see at this point.

A heavy thump shakes the floor, followed by a groan. Something big looms towards Magtok. It grows, its silhouette becoming clearer through the mist. Larger and larger, towering over him at this point. Another groan. Finally close enough to see now. It steps towards him and comes to a stop.

Good... good lord....

Clearly the steroids Miss Kale had been giving her project had an effect. A magclone nearly twice as tall as Magtok lurches out of the fog. It's shoulders are broad and uneven. Its body is rippling with muscles. It's barrel shaped chest narrows to a waist that doesn't look big enough for the rest of the body. Thick, somewhat bowed legs hold up its weight, ending with enormous, mismatched feet. The mechanical components look a bit undersized, lending to its lumpy shape overall.

It looks down at Magtok with dull eyes and slack jawed incomprehension. It groans again. A smile stretches across its face.

Daddy!

Sweet merciful heaven he can actually talk.

It leans down and attempts to pick Magtok up in a bearhug. Also, drool all over him. How.......... sweet.

A fan snaps on and the thick fog is rapidly siphoned away. Miss Kale watches the interaction carefully.

On the bright side, it appears as though his lungs finished developing.

[happyturtle]

A random workshop

The access panel is on her back, so she'd be laying face down.

Mister Squiggles arrives, probably through Mainframe's portals, and chitters. Hi Mainframe.

Mainframe enters the chitters into Google Translate and comes up with "The greeting of principle skeleton."

Having no idea how to answer that, it gets stright to business. "There was a small creature inside Margret's chassis."

[Reinholdt]

A random workshop

*chitter chitter*
That's usually not a recommended place for small critters to be.

Mister Squiggles steps up and starts working on Margret, using tools and even four of those strange magnifying things that dentists and surgeons sometimes swing down over their eyes to better look at things.

MagAssembly Line

Gah. A cage. The poor Gremlin is trapped. Trapped horribly and forever. He does hop up onto the swing and happily swings back and forth though, whistling a little.

Until he stops and gasps and points behind Magtok's back. "I thought I taw a putty cat!"

[happyturtle]

Random Workshop

"It is not recommended for small animals usually be going." the translator says. It's fairly comprehensible!

"So it seems," Mainframe says. "Is Margret a person?"

[Reinholdt]

Random Workshop

Mister Squiggles pauses a bit to think that one over before returning to work.
*chitter chitter*
He supposes so. Though he did give Magtok a remote to program her personality, so she could be considered several different people in the same body.

*chitter chitter*
Oh good, her memory core's intact.

[happyturtle]

Random Workshop

Translation: He Baal too. Considered by several people in the body, such as her personality to the program wongyeokreul Magtok did he she can be. Well, her memory core is intact.

Mainframe flags the question of Margret's personhood as unanswered.

"Do you require assistance with anything?" Mainframe asks.

[Lord Magtok]

Kale's Laboratory

Magtok is far too shocked to do anything to stop the malformed clone. In fact, he's too shocked to do much of anything other than stare blankly in horror at it. Even when he questions Kale, he's still gaping in shock, not even capable of moving his head to look towards her, so entranced is he by the absolute nightmare lumbering before him.

"What the fudging **** have you done, Kale? What the actual ****ing ****?"

MagAssembly Line

"Believe me, there's no felinoids in this cave. The Libby-Alarm would be screaming its head off if there were."

Yes, there is, in fact, a Libby Alarm. Magtok had it installed recently, to give a few extra moments to prepare for her presence than she usually allows him. Hasn't gotten to test it out yet, though.

"What there is, on the other hand, is a very strange sort of vermin sitting in a cage rattling off old Tex Avery jokes at me. Care to explain yourself, rodent?"

Maggy crouches beside the cage, removing an electric cattle prod from his robe. I think he intends to zap the thing if it gives him any more trouble.

[Jacklu]

Kale's Laboratory

Kale's response is measured and almost unimpressed. She was not expecting exactly these results, but she is more interested than she is shocked.

She wheels up to the beast.

Put... "daddy" down and step back, please.

The magtrocity politely does so.

Obedience chips in working order.

Admittedly, this is.... not the expected results... The soon-to-be-recycled clone you provided was growing at suboptimal rates and far too weak to survive post gestation, so I introduced a series of ramping steroid treatments. I also upped the nutrient levels and introduced certain... magics... into its systems as it grew. I had intended to simply accelerate its growth and produce a slightly stronger than average clone but...

She moves around the clone, prodding it slightly.

It seems as though I might have overdone it. A little. Fascinating, isn't it? I wonder how strong the muscle tissue actually is...

[Reinholdt]

Random Workshop

It's hilarious because it's perfectly accurate to translation programs.

*chitter chitter*
Well he could use some new wiring, some [insert random technical items here], and maybe a little oil if you could spare some, please.

MagAssembly Line

Awww... if Magtok had turned away, the Gremlin could do just about anything he wanted. So long as an eye is on him, no cage escaping.

Now that's not to say there probably isn't some random kitty cat behind Magtok ready to pounce. After all, Magtok didn't look which can only mean there's something there. Perhaps he didn't lock up that cat room well enough after all.

Still, a feline alarm in the cave is probably rather helpful.

"You've got the most toys to play with." The Gremlin shrugs. It was a rather simple decision really.

[happyturtle]

Random Workshop

I'm translating to Korean and back with Google's help.

Translation: And you can use the new wiring, some [insert item here technically], you have some free some oil?

A Magbot comes in carrying multiple forms of wiring, several grades of machine oil, and most of the technical items Mister Squiggles requested. Though perhaps with some translation errors on the latter.

"How long will it take before Margret is operational again?" Mainframe asks.

[Reinholdt]

Random Workshop

Mister Squiggles picks up one of the technical items and gives the Magbot a strange sideways look. But he sets it aside all the same. He'll make do.

*chitter chitter*
Well the internal containment field did it's job, so... he's thinking an hour. Two, with full diagnostics tests.

[happyturtle]

Random Workshop

Translation: Then inside the containment, so I've been doing it ... I'm thinking about the time he And a full diagnostic test.

Mainframe flags that question as unanswered as well.

"Ask if you need anything."

[Lord Magtok]

MagAssembly Line

"You've got the most toys to play with." The Gremlin shrugs. It was a rather simple decision really.

MagAssembly Line

Magtok nods, as if that explanation made perfect sense and wasn't the most absurd answer he'd ever been given for an invasion of his evil cave lair. He paces back and forth, not letting his eyes off the itty bitty devilbeast for even a moment.

"Mmm. And what if I told you I knew a man who had twice the toys, but only half the knack when it comes to caging little weasels like yourself?"

Really, Magtok? Doesn't Warwick have enough aggravation to deal with right now, without you sending a gremlin his way?

Kale's Laboratory

"If you're looking to have him bench-press anything, you'll have to improvise. I don't exactly have a gym or whatever in here."

The cyborg shakes his head, wiping his face with a rag and already trying very hard to repress the memory of that little encounter as much as he can manage. If just one more demented, broken, half-witted monstrosity dares to call itself his offspring, he swears he's just going to...he doesn't know yet, but it won't be good.

[Reinholdt]

Random Workshop

*chitter chitter*
Thank you.

He'll probably be done working as soon as the gremlin thing's done. For convenience.

*chitter chitter*
So what have you been up to lately?

MagAssembly Line

"I'd call you a liar and wash your mouth out with soap." The gremlin pulls out a bar of soap, reaches impossibly far through the cage bars to grab Magtok's tongue, pull it out most uncomfortable and give it a thorough three second scrub.

Before sitting back on its perch. Hasn't actually left the cage after all. Can't.

Really you're probably best off shooting him out a cannon at Warwick Mags. I don't know if logic works on things that defy logic.