Base Class Challenge Chat Thread III: Gotta 'Brew 'Em All!

[sirpercival]

Do you guys think the Panphobic has enough offense?

[Temotei]

Insanimagos Critique:

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The Insanimagos

A pinch of salt, a puff of smoke, these voices will go away, their coming to take me, going to shake me, killing my friends away, the voices are still, the tongues are naught, will they ever come back to play?

~Unknown

Their should be "they're." Otherwise, good.

Wizards and sorcerers are known as the main users of arcane energies, using their minds to memorize spells or to alter the environment around them. Some people though, use not their keen mind, but their insanity to alter magic in wild ways

Missed the period at the end.

Adventures: Insanimagi usually adventure for one of two reasons. One is that they give in to the voices in their head and this causes them to run around wildly, sometimes solo, sometimes not. Another reason would be that they try not to listen to the voices, and seek comfort from their friends to help hold back the voices.

Characteristics: Insanimagi are powerful spellcasters, but sometimes they lack control and tend to cast spells recklessly and they tend to not care about collateral damage

Alignment: Insanimagi are always chaotic but can be good, evil or neutral, with neutral or evil being the most common (good insanimagi are not unheard of though)

Religion: Insanimagi rarely worship a deity, but sometimes they can mistake the whispers and shouts in their head to be voices from a deity

Background: Anybody with mental ilness and a will to learn magic can become an Insanimagos, but sometimes it just happens spontaneously with brain damage, exposure to eldritch energies, or just at random

Races: Any race can be an Insanimagos, but elves, humans, and gnomes are the most common

Other Classes: Insanimagi treat other classes as either friends, or with extreme paranoia and suspicion.

Role: Insanimagi are arcane spellcasters who cast many powerful spells

Adaptation: How a DM might change your class to fit into their campaign or unique world setting.

Alright, fair enough.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
CLASS NAME's have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Intelligence is needed for spellcasting, charisma helps with certain abilities, and wisdom can be used to resist the voices in the insanimagi's head, constitution is always good for anyone.
Alignment: Always chaotic.
Hit Die: d6
Starting Age: As bard.
Starting Gold: As cleric.

Class Skills
The CLASS NAME's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are...

Skill Points at First Level: (2 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: x + Int modifier

Alright, so insert "insanimagos" into those CLASS NAME spots, switch out the "x" in the "Skill Points at Each Additional Level" line with "2," and then pick class skills. A d6 is high for a spellcaster. Let's see what's going on that makes them hardier than the rest.

Also, for the alignment line, the closest comparison is the monk, which says "Any lawful." Precedent says, then, that it would be "Any chaotic" for your class. I don't mind this, though.

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the CLASS NAME.

Again, just replace "CLASS NAME" with "insanimagos."

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Insanimagi are proficient with all simple weapons and no armor or shields

Standard fare.

Necronomicon
Every insanimagos has a spellbook not unlike that of a wizard, it has exactly the same stats and capabilities, except that instead of being a book full of eldritch knowledge, it is a book written in blood, made of flesh, and bound with bones. They are often decorated with eyes, teeth, organs, or anything else.

Cute.

The voices are talking, will you listen?
At 1st level, the insanimagos makes an important choice. To listen to their voices? Or to try to shut them out! If they choose to listen, they let them in, making them paranoid and twitching, and they use reflex as their good save, if they try to shut them out, they are a little slower because they need to concentrate to keep them out, and have developed mental resistance to the voices (they still here them, just not as much) and they use will as their good save.

Emphasis mine. "Hear."

Alrighty then. Setting up the chassis. This is all you get at 1st level versus the sorcerer and wizard getting a familiar (or alternate class feature in exchange, usually abjurant jaunt or somesuch). Another flavor feature wouldn't be out of the question here.

Mental disorder (Ex):
As an insanimagos progresses, their mind degrades, gaining phobias, mental illnesses, and other such things. These are detrimental in some way, but each one has some sort of benefit as well, see this post for a list of mental disorders. Unless otherwise stated, a mental disorder can only be taken once.

Moving on to the next post.

Sleepwalking

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Normally not considered a problem, but you are an exception. While you are sleeping, a hallucination appears, and tells you to get up and move. While you are sleeping and something dangerous is about to happen, such as an enemy is about to enter the room, or a trap will go off, or jet debris will fall from the sky, you immediately will try to get out of there at a speed of 20ft. During this time you're effectively an NPC under the control of the DM. The downside is that every night roll a D20 and add your wisdom modifier. On a roll of 10 or less you just start wandering aimlessly

This could actually make you faster if you're a halfling with heavy armor, for example, which would be funny. Don't ask me why you're sleeping in heavy armor. Maybe it's got that restful crystal in it.

Since this doesn't specify what kind of speed you're using, I suppose the DM can have your character fly or burrow or whatever is appropriate?

Also, you can shorten that bit about rolling a d20 and adding your Wisdom modifier to a Wisdom check. Same thing.

I like the drawback. It could make for some hilarity in the group on a failure.

Alchoholic

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You require at least 2 mugs of ale every day, and you get drunk easily, with a -4 on any fortitude saves to avoid intoxication. When drunk however, you rage as per a barbarian, and you gain proficiency with improvised weapons. If denied your alchohol, you dont want to do anything and must be forcefully moved to do anything. This can also be used with other substances as well if the DM allows it

This would be called "alcoholism," rather than "alcoholic," since the rest of your disorders are named after the disorder, not the person subject to it.

That said, nobody will ever take this. You can't cast spells while raging like a barbarian, so you're basically giving up your class features to be a really bad version of a beatstick. Not exactly an even trade, let alone an advantageous one.

Amnesia/forgetfulness

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You memorise one less spell per level of spell each day, but you get a +2 on will saves against mind influencing effects.

What happens if a character with this gets mind blank or a similar effect on them?

This works, but it's a weak benefit for the drawback it forces.

Hypomanic

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Whenever you are doing an activity, you must succeed a will save (DC set by DM) to stop, you get a +4 if your being yelled at by nearby friends, trying to get you out of your little episode. If in combat, you might continue stabbing at a corpse, or yelling at it or cursing or....you get the idea. On the upside, your very very energetic and need to sleep for half as long (if your an elf you trance for half as long), you still need to regain spells at the regular speed though
Multiple personalities

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When in a stressful situation (DMs discretion) you must make a will save (DC set by DM depending on how stressful) or else have your alignment flip on the good-evil axis, or if you're neutral roll 1d2 (1=evil 2=good) and stay that way for the next minute+1 round per point rolled below the DC. While your alignment is temporarily changed, role play that accordingly. On the upside, any time you must make a will save, the DM can roll a second will save, and if you do not like your result, you can take his. The DM will not tell you the result before you pick it though, so beware.

Well, firstly, you should probably split hypomania and dissociative identity (the official name for multiple personalities these days). Again, "hypomanic" should be "hypomania" since it's the disorder you're describing, not the person with the disorder.

Hypomania is just asking the DM to kill your character with some ridiculous Will save DC to stop you from "walking off the edge--literally" or something. On the other hand, a normal DM wouldn't do that, but the definition of this feature is so vague right now...how long does the episode last before you get a Will save? Is it any activity? You do a lot of things during the day. How long does the episode last if you fail your Will save? Finally, the benefit is probably too small for the drawback, but it depends on the DM and further definition of the feature. It desperately needs it.

For dissociative identity, I recommend setting a baseline DC so the DM can guess at what the DCs should be from there. An example would be DC 10 for combat against animals (assuming no fears of animals, love of animals, etc.), maybe. The benefit is really strong. Sure, you can't see the DM's result, but you can at least take it if you think/know you're going to fail anyway. This is the first one with a benefit clearly outweighing the drawbacks.

Insomnia

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You are always fatigued, every day, from lack of sleep. Anything that would make you fatigued makes you exhausted, and anything that would make you exhausted instead makes you instantly fall unconcious on a failed save. On the upside, since your not sleeping you trance as an elf, regaining HP, and still remaining alert and able to sense danger.

Eh. I'd rather take sleepwalking than this. You get a similar benefit, but you're not permanently taking a -2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity and unable to run/charge. Again, the drawback is too much for the benefit to compete with.


For these disorders, I'd say the balancing point should be around sleepwalking right now. It provides a tangible benefit and has a fun drawback. Be creative with this and make really fun drawbacks for the disorders and this can really be something. Remember that these are class features, which normally don't have drawbacks, so the benefits of them should outweigh the drawbacks at least a little.

Phobias

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Pyrophobia
You never will willingly use a [fire] spell, but instead you gain energy substitution (as the feat) to add to such spells, choosing the specific type of energy to change it to when you gain this feat.
Special:This can be expanded to cryophobia, electrophobia, and acidophobia for different energy types

Nice. How do you acquire phobias?

Extra mad
Your mind is deforming even more than it did before
Prerequisites: Insanimagos level 5+
Benefits: pick another mental disorder
Special: this may be taken multiple times. its effects stack.

Eh. This puts even more strain on making the disorders beneficial for the most part. A feat slot is super valuable. Keep that in mind.

Spells
Ins=insanimagos shortened

It'll be hard to critique spells without a spell list to put them into context or a spells per day table. For now, I'll just critique each spell as if wizards had access to it.

Whispering sleep
Enchantment (Compulsion) [mind affecting]
Level: Ins 8
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One living creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: yes
Whenever the target tries to sleep, they sleepwalk, and act as if they were awake and under the insanity spell. while awake they suffer no ill effects.
Greater restoration, limited wish, miracle, or wish can restore the creature to normal, but they can only be cured while sleepwalking.

Does this prevent spellcasters from regaining spells? Does it keep the creature from healing from a rest period?

I don't really see why this is a spell level above insanity. It seems weaker, if anything. At least on the same spell level. Just my thoughts.

temporary clarity
Enchantment (mind affecting)
Level: Ins 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: personal
Target: you
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: none
Spell Resistance: no
For the duration of the spell, ignore one mental disorder you have. none of its drawbacks are experienced, neither are its advantages

I recommend making the spell dismissable so the caster can regain advantages/disadvantages if desired. Also, the duration is really short and the level is pretty high. You could probably drop this to a 1st-level spell and raise the duration to 1 minute/level without a problem.

Temporary clarity, greater
Enchantment
Level: Ins 6
As per temporary clarity except as above, and all mental disorders are ignored for the duration

As above, so below. However, without more disorders to look at, I can't really say what level this will be, considering you gain ten disorders and there are only six.


Keep working and take a look at the benefits and drawbacks of disorders. Make them fun and interesting instead of just numbers or whatever. Not much more to say. Good luck.

[Quellian-dyrae]

Do you guys think the Panphobic has enough offense?

Their powers are kinda marginal offensively, but Sneak Attack, improved stealth, improved flanking, eventual ability to sneak attack those affected by fear, and literally no reason in the world to not take Craven should hold them in good stead.

[Temotei]

Insanity Monk Critique:

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Insanity Monk

The blue squirrel has gone north my dear, advantage is lost to the defense! El Jor, Insanity Monk

No, not the defense!

For some, the depths of their minds are a personal matter, others a place where they would not tread, but fewer still, the deep recesses of your mind offer vast powers and abilities, of course to find these you must be insane.

Those people, those lunatics who would tread upon the wire thin line that is the demarcation of sanity, are known to most as insane. Society throws them to the winds, banding them together in hopes their communal excision will fester a new found sense of surety. Or they are healed, their minds path rewired to avoid the razor thin line, so they can act ‘normal’.

And then there are the Insanity Monks, those crazed adventurers who delve, cliff jump, or plunge head long into the abyss of the unknown, into the never ending spiral staircase of the mortal psyche. They are insane, they are mad, they are psychotic, and they are beautiful. And they talk to themselves....well only sometimes.

These are the people who have jumped, skipped and hurdled over the line that should not be crossed, and came out the other side with a sense of direction, the ability to stand to their own accord, to speak what they want to say!

I like it.

Adventures: Insanity moks adventure for any kind of reason, most adventure because it provides entertainment and their whimsy takes flight at a moments notice. Others find it in their nature to take in all the madness of the world, trying to protect everyone from it. On the flip side, others see it as their duty to spread the madness they posses with everyone they meet.

Characteristics: What your class is capable of.

Alignment: What alignment or alignments your class may have and why.

Religion: What deities or ideals your class follows, if any, and why.

Background: How you become part of your class and why.

Races: What races most often have members of your class, as well as any races that cannot join, along with why.

Other Classes: How your class relates to other classes, positively or negatively, and why.

Role: What your class does in and for a party.

Adaptation: How a DM might change your class to fit into their campaign or unique world setting.

Well, you've got one part done.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
CLASS NAME's have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Charisma is the most important ability, as it determines how strong your spells are and other class abilities, Dex and Con help your survivability.
Alignment: Any
Hit Die: d8
Starting Age: Any
Starting Gold: 5d4 x 10

Class Skills
The insanity monk’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (arcana) (Int), Knowledge (religion) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Swim (Str), and Tumble (Dex).

Skill Points at First Level: (6 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 6 + Int modifier

Replace "CLASS NAME" with "insanity monk" at the beginning of the quote there.

Class Features

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Insanity monks are proficient with the club, crossbow (light or heavy), dagger, handaxe, javelin, kama, nunchaku, quarterstaff, sai, shuriken, siangham, and sling.

Insanity Monks are not proficient with any armor or shields

Are they proficient with unarmed strikes?

Spells
An insanity monk casts arcane spells, which are drawn from the insanity monk spell list. When you gain access to a new level of spells, you automatically know all the spells for that level on the insanity monk's spell list. You can cast any spell you know without preparing it ahead of time. Essentially, your spell list is the same as your spells known list.

To cast a spell, an insanity monk must have a Charisma score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The Difficulty Class for a saving throw against an insanity monk’s spell is 10 + the spell level + the insanity monk’s Charisma modifier.

Like other spellcasters, an insanity monk can cast only a certain number of spells of each spell level per day. His base daily spell allotment is given on Table: The insanity monk. In addition, he receives bonus spells per day if he has a high Charisma score. When Table: The insanity monk indicates that the insanity monk gets 0 spells per day of a given spell level, he gains only the bonus spells he would be entitled to based on his Charisma score for that spell level.

Pretty standard.

AC Bonus (Ex) When unarmored and unencumbered, the inanity monk adds her Charisma bonus (if any) to her AC. In addition, an insanity monk gains a +1 bonus to AC at 5th level. This bonus increases by 1 for every five insanity monk levels thereafter (+2 at 10th, +3 at 15th, and +4 at 20th level).

These bonuses to AC apply even against touch attacks or when the insanity monk is flat-footed. She loses these bonuses when she is immobilized or helpless, when she wears any armor, when she carries a shield, or when she carries a medium or heavy load.

Ported monk feature. Okay.

On the brink - gain one madness, but gain immunity to charm, enchantment or compulsion effects

I assume madness is going to be expanded upon later. Moving on.

Touch of Madness - A number of times per day equal to your insanity monk level, you may channel a spell via an unarmed strike attack as a standard action. The attack deals normal damage and subjects the target to the spell. The spell does not need to be a touch spell, if it targets an area or has multiple targets, it only affects the target of your unarmed strike. The spell resolves as normal, and the target must attempt any saves per the spell as normal, this does not provoke an attack of opportunity. A missed attack does not waste the attempt.

If you threaten a critical hit while using touch of madness, the spell uses your unarmed strike threat range and if it confirms the critical threat, it gains a +2 bonus to DC.

I assume channeling a spell works like the duskblade's mechanic, expending a spell slot as if you had cast the spell. Does a missed attack still expend a spell slot or does it simply "hang" onto your weapon until you hit with an attack?

The second part doesn't make much sense other than that last little bit. If you threaten a critical, you threaten a critical as if you had hit with an unarmed strike? But you already threatened the critical. The DC boost is fine, though.

Insanity Monk spell list
0 - Daze, Dancing Lights, Flare, Ghost Sound, Touch of Fatigue, Prestidigitation, Lullaby, Amanuesis, Ghostharp

1st - Cause Fear, Doom, Sanctuary, Bane, Command, Color Spray, Sleep, Hypnotism, Backbiter, Spirit Worm, Serene Visage, Shock and Awe, Inhibit, Incite, Distract Assailant, Distract, Insightful Feint

2nd - Touch of Idiocy, Daze Monster, Hideous laughter, Blindness/Deafness, Scare, Darkness, Curse of Impending Blades, Shadow Spray, Phantom Foe, Phantasmal Assailants, Delusions of Grandeur, Bladeweave, Mindless Rage, Entice Gift, Cloud of Bewilderment

3rd - Deep Slumber, Hold Person, Rage, Suggestion, Bestow Curse, Lesser Geas/Quest, slow, Mind Poison, Curse of Impending Blades, Mass, Cone of Dimness, Unluck, Mesmerizing Glare

4th - Confusion, Crushing Despair, Phantasmal Killer, Fear, Rainbow Pattern, Sensory Deprivation, Wrack, Hypothermia, Phantom Battle, Shadow Well

5th - Feeblemind, Hold Monster, Mind Fog, Nightmare, greater command, Waves of Fatigue, Spiritwall, Illusory Feast

6th - Mass Suggestion, Geas/Quest, Repulsion, Symbol of Fear, Opalescent Glare, Imperious Glare, Fleshshiver, Aura of Terror

Giving sources for the spells would be a good idea. Other than that, looks good. I like the inclusion of sanctuary and color-based spells.

[Temotei]

Panphobic Critique:

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Panphobic

It's amazing where the paranoid mind can take you...

Okay.

A Panphobic goes through life knowing that everything in the world is a valid source of terror. It's hard on the nerves, to be sure, but constant paranoia is helpful in that it teaches you to be on your toes. Unless you're frightened of being on your toes... then you're kinda screwed.

Adventures: A Panphobic adventures to get away from the things at home that were terrifying her. Sadly, she finds even more to be afraid of out in the world.

Characteristics: A Panphobic is something of an enigma, in that she has a wide variety of abilities to choose from, which can be useful in various situations, depending on which phobias she acquires. However, all Panphobics tend to be furtive, sneaky characters.

Alignment: Panphobics are never lawful -- they don't trust any ideologies but their own skin.

Religion: A Panphobic is just as likely to be frightened of religion and religious figures as anything else. However, a few offer up their souls in the hope that faith in a higher power might give them comfort in the cold, dark night. (Spoiler alert: it doesn't work.)

Background: How you become part of your class and why.

Races: What races most often have members of your class, as well as any races that cannot join, along with why.

Other Classes: How your class relates to other classes, positively or negatively, and why.

Role: What your class does in and for a party.

Adaptation: How a DM might change your class to fit into their campaign or unique world setting.

Good so far. Enjoyable. The little jokes make it easier and more fun to read while still allowing for a serious tone when necessary.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
Jongleurs have the following game statistics.
Abilities:
Alignment: Any non-lawful.
Hit Die: d8.
Starting Age: As rogue.
Starting Gold: As rogue.

Class Skills
The Panphobic's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disguise (Cha), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (all skills, taken individually) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Search (Int), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

Skill Points at First Level: (6 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 6 + Int modifier

Jongleurs, huh?

The rest looks good. Abilities should be fairly simple, though, eh? Charisma for DCs, Dexterity and Intelligence for roguish stuff, Constitution for survival?

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Panphobic.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Panphobics are proficient with all simple weapons, with all types of armor (light, medium, and heavy), and with shields (except tower shields).

Got to have armor to protect against fears, right? Nice.

Mild panic (Ex): Each individual phobia that a Panphobic has gives her particular abilities as she attempts to overcome and draw strength from the many, many things that frighten her.

At first level, a Panphobic acquires three phobias from her class list; she acquires an additional phobia at 2nd level, and every even level thereafter (as shown on the table above). Each of phobia the Panphobic acquires has two abilities: a base ability (tier 0) which grants some benefit at all times, and a higher-tier ability which must be activated by spending Dread.

A Panphobic begins each encounter with all of her phobias at the tier 0, and with 0 Dread. However, if the subject of one of her phobias is present (e.g., a spider for a Panphobic with Arachnophobia), that phobia begins at tier 1, but she suffers a -4 penalty to all saves vs fear effects for the encounter.

As a free action on her turn, but no more often than once per round, the Panphobic may choose to become shaken for one round to accrue 1 point of Dread. She gains no benefit from other creatures' abilities or effects which cause her to be shaken, only her own will, as she exposes her mind to the the things which frighten her the most.

Then, as a swift action, the Panphobic may spend any amount of Dread she has accrued to increase the tier of one or more phobias that she knows. At 1st level, she may not increase any phobia beyond tier 1. Once increased, the tier of each phobia remains so for the duration of the encounter, unless otherwise specified in the phobia description.

At the end of the encounter, all phobias reduce back to tier 0, and any Dread remaining evaporates.

The penalty to saves against fear can apply more than once, right? Looks untyped, so it would by RAW. Makes sense, too.

Paranoia (Ex): A Panphobic feeds off of fear; it's her bread and butter. A Panphobic cannot ever become immune to fear effects, and receives no benefit from morale bonuses to saves vs fear (such as from a Paladin's Aura of Courage).

Makes sense. Good.

Simple fright (Ex): Such a student of fear is a Panphobic that she understands quite easily how to inflict such upon others. Whenever she confirms a critical hit against an opponent in combat, the Panphobic may spend 1 Dread as a free action to force that opponent to make a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Charisma modifier) or become shaken for 1 minute. This is a mind-affecting fear effect.

Simple indeed. It's effective and the cost is fine, though I wonder if possibly making a single enemy shaken is worth staying at a tier 0 phobia versus a tier 1 phobia guaranteed. Maybe in some situations. A fair trade, I think.

Sneak attack (Ex): This ability, as the rogue ability, is gained at 2nd level, with increases gained at the levels indicated in the table. Panphobics prefer to strike from the shadows... it's safer that way.

The table should say +7d6 at 20th level. Other than that, fine.

Phobos animae (Ex): Sometimes fear can take on a life of its own, crawling down the narrow synapses to strike at the primal terror that a Panphobic has made her own. Beginning at 3rd level, whenever the Panphobic successfully saves against a (Su) or (Ex) fear effect created by another creature, she accrues 1 Dread.

Faster dread accumulation is nice, though it likely won't happen often.

Run and Hide (Ex): Being able to escape from one's enemies, real or imagined, is an essential skill to learn. Whenever a Panphobic of 4th level or higher moves at least twice her speed in a single round, she automatically makes a Hide check as a free action (even if she is observed), with no penalty for the movement to Hide or Move Sliently. If she had moved due to the Frightened or Panicked condition, once she makes the Hide check, she is no longer required to keep moving until or unless the enemy which inflicted the condition succeeds on the Spot check to observe her.

Mixed up the L and I in Move Silently there.

Nice. I like it. Very flavorful and very useful with a sound limit (double speed). Funny that you can charge at an enemy and make a Hide check, though. Is that intended? Never mind. Just read the improved run and hide.

Panic (Ex): Starting at 5th level, a Panphobic becomes more efficient at using her own fear against her enemies. She may spend 2 Dread to increase a phobia from tier 1 to tier 2 (the abilities a phobia grants are cumulative as its tier increases). Whenever she uses her Mild Panic ability to become shaken, she accrues 2 Dread instead of 1; alternatively, she may choose to become frightened for 1 round instead of shaken, in which case she accrues 3 Dread instead of 2 (in this case, the source of her fear is the encounter itself, for fleeing purposes).

Is it still a swift action to raise the tier of your phobia? Also, since it's a free action to become frightened, the panphobic could just become frightened at the end of the round and not run away if she already used her move action, correct? At that point, there'd be no point in becoming shaken rather than frightened, unless I'm mistaken. Of course, that assumes that you used a move action, so maybe it's okay.

Contagious paranoia (Ex): Upon reaching 6th level, a Panphobic's constant state of distress can rub off on her enemies. Any enemy with 30 feet of her loses any immunity to fear that it had (though not immunity to mind-affecting effects, if any) for as long as it remains in the area, instead receiving a +5 bonus to saves vs fear effects.

Nice. I like it.

Compound fright (Ex): By 7th level, the raw, acrid fear that runs through a Panphobic's veins can spur her to heights she never knew were possible. As a standard action at any time, she may spend 2 Dread so that she may take 20 on the next skill check that she makes in the encounter, even if circumstances (or the skill description itself) would prevent it. Taking 20 in this manner takes no extra time -- instead, she simply functions as if she rolled a 20 on the attempt.

Cute. Again, I like it.

Continuous anxiety (Ex): A Panphobic's standard level of fear is much higher than other people's, and (like everything else) such heightened emotion grants her abilities beyond that of the unsuspecting public. At 8th level, the Panphobic may spend 8 hours meditating on a particular thing which frightens her, and suffers the penalties of being shaken for the duration of this time. At the end, she picks a single phobia from among those she has acquired; this phobia is tier 1 at all times. (If some effect changes the tier of that phobia for any reason, it returns to the appropriate tier automatically at the end of the encounter.) She may choose a different phobia whenever she spends 8 hours in meditation.

Cool, though that last part might need a rewording for clarity. It seems to imply that you can spend 8 hours in meditation to set another phobia at tier 1 permanently, whereas I assume you mean for it to apply to one at a time. Also, are you able to meditate in fear and rest at the same time? This part isn't too important, but it's worth asking.

Disappearance (Su): A Panphobic hones her stealth almost by accident -- hiding from the horrible things which terrify you is often the best, or only, idea. At 9th level, her hiding ability reaches a new level of subtlety and strength. Whenever a creature fails a Spot check against the Panphobic's Hide check, that creature must make a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Charisma modifier) or forget that the Panphobic is there.

Nice. This is good.

Strong panic (Ex): Beginning at 10th level, a Panphobic is even more efficient at transforming her fear into power. She may spend 3 Dread to increase a phobia from tier 2 to tier 3. Whenever she uses her Panic ability to become shaken, she accrues 3 Dread instead of 2; if she becomes frightened, she accrues 5 Dread instead of 3; and in addition she may choose to become panicked for 1 round instead of shaken or frightened, in which case she accrues 8 Dread (again, the source of her fear is the encounter itself, for fleeing purposes).

Not much to say here. The progression continues.

Fear calls to fear (Ex): A Panphobic knows how to play upon the fears of others. At 11th level, in addition to the other situations in which sneak attack would be triggered, she can sneak attack creatures who are shaken, frightened, panicked, or cowering (even if they couldn't normally be sneak attacked).

Good stuff. New use for simple fright, too.

Improved run and hide (Su): Starting at 12th level, a Panphobic's Run and Hide ability triggers whenever she moves at least her speed (instead of twice her speed) in a round. In addition, she needs no cover or concealment to make a Hide check when using this ability.

I thought...okay, so run and hide only allows Hide checks when concealed or in cover. That makes more sense, then. I thought since you noted that you could make a check even while being observed, you meant for it to work like hide in plain sight with limits. Might want to clarify that in run and hide.

Anyway, this comes at an appropriate level. Looks good.

Complex fright (Ex): When a Panphobic reaches 13th level, she revels in fear, worships it like a goddess in the night. As an immediate action, the Panphobic may spend 3 points of Dread that she has accrued to roll twice on a saving throw and take the better result.

Good. It seems out of place at a glance, but thinking about it, fear could make your body work hotter, fighting off a disease or poison, or it could make you twitchy and dodgy to avoid a fireball. Got it.

Improved continuous anxiety (Ex): At 14th level, the phobia chosen by a Panphobic for her Continuous Anxiety class feature is tier 2 at all times (instead of 1).

Yayyyy.

Extreme panic (Ex): By the time the Panphobic reaches 15th level, her skill at drawing upon her own fear is reaching its peak. She may spend 5 Dread to increase a phobia from tier 3 to tier 4. Whenever she uses her Panic ability to become shaken, she accrues 4 Dread instead of 3; if she becomes frightened, she accrues 7 Dread instead of 5; when she becomes panicked, she accrues 12 Dread instead of 8; and in addition, she may choose to become cowering for 1 round instead of shaken, frightened, or panicked, in which case she accrues 19 Dread.

Dreeeeaaaaaad. More dread means more dead. Logical progression.

Improved phobos animae (Ex): Beginning at 16th level, the fear that other creatures bring to battle have very little effect on a Panphobic -- her own neuroses and psychoses are far more compelling. Whenever the Panphobic successfully saves against a (Su) or (Ex) fear effect created by another creature, she gains 2d6 Dread; in addition, even on a failed save, she suffers no worse than shaken.

This is cute. I like it.

Improved disappearance (Ex): When the Panphobic achieves 18th level, she is very good at being unobtrusive. She is considered to be Hiding at all times, even when observed or when she does not have cover or concealment. The Panphobic may activate or deactivate this effect as a free action.

Very cool. I like it.

Crippling fright (Su): Upon reaching 18th level, a Panphobic has learned to transfer some of the soul-wrenching terror that she feels every waking moment to her enemies. With a melee touch attack as a standard action, she may transfer any amount of Dread up to her Charisma modifier to an enemy. That enemy suffers a -1 to all attack and damage rolls, skill checks, ability checks, and AC for each point of Dread they have, and a -1 to all saves for every 2 points of Dread. The subject automatically removes 1 point of Dread as a free action each round on their turn.

Table says 19th level. Fix one or the other.

Careful avoidance of being subject to a fear effect here. Have to get that sneak attack damage some other way, panphobic. Looking good.

Greater continuous anxiety (Ex): At 20th level, the phobia chosen by a Panphobic for her Continuous Anxiety class feature is tier 3 at all times (instead of 1 or 2).

Alright. Continued progression. Moving on.

Ultimate panic (Ex): A Panphobic of 20th level, her skill at drawing upon her own fear is reaching its peak. She may spend 8 Dread to increase a phobia from tier 4 to tier 5. Whenever she uses her Panic ability to become shaken, she accrues 5 Dread instead of 4; if she becomes frightened, she accrues 9 Dread instead of 7; when she becomes panicked, she accrues 16 Dread instead of 12; and when she cowers for 1 round, she accrues 25 Dread.

So much dread. SO MUCH. Looks good. The double capstone makes up for not having a unique capstone, but really, the capstone is also tier 5 phobias, so moving on to those.

Feats
Extra Phobia
You have discovered another thing that gives you nightmares.
Prerequisites: Panic class feature
Benefit: You acquire an additional phobia.
Special: You may select this feat multiple times. Its effects stack.

Alrighty then.

Midnight Terrors [Incarnum]
You can create a feedback loop with the soul energy of incarnum, causing your fear and dread to multiply.
Prerequisites: Con 13, Mild Panic
Benefit: Once per day, you can invest essentia in this feat. Whenever you use your Mild Panic (or similar) ability to voluntarily become shaken, frightened, panicked, or cowering, increase the amount of Dread you gain by the amount of essentia invested in this feat. Once the amount of essentia invested is chosen, it cannot be altered and remains invested for 24 hours. You gain 1 point of essentia.

Nice. Good feat. Incarnum love is always appreciated.

Panicked Recovery
The sheer icy terror running through your veins spurs on your martial advance with a jolt of adrenaline.
Prerequisites: One martial maneuver, Mild Panic
Benefit: As a swift action, you can recover an expended maneuver by spending an amount of Dread equal to the level of the maneuver. This ability does not allow you to initiate the same maneuver twice in the same round.

Cute. It looks functional, at least.

Phobias

I'm going to comment only on the ones I have questions or good critiques for.

Acrophobia (Fear of Heights)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Balance checks, and Balance is a class skill for you
1|Benefit from a continuous feather fall effect
2|Gain a fly speed of 30 feet (good maneuverability) + 20 feet per additional tier
[/table]

Does having Balance as a class skill apply only to the panphobic class or to every class you enter from now on? Should probably clarify this in the phobia.

Agoraphobia (Fear of Crowds)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Intimidate checks
1|You cannot be flanked
2|Reduce this phobia to tier 0 to gain the benefit of the gaseous form spell, as cast by a wizard of your class level
4|You emanate an aura which repels enemies, as per the antipathy spell but not limited to a particular kind or alignment of creature; the DC to resist the compulsion is 10 + 1/2 class level + Cha mod
[/table]

The only thing here is that the tier increase from 2 to 3 does nothing. That stinks.

Arachnophobia (Fear of Spiders)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Craft checks
1|Gain tremorsense 30 feet + 10 feet per additional tier
2|Use spider climb at will as a spell-like ability
[/table]

Craft, huh? Because of making webs?

Ambulaphobia (Fear of Walking)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Move Silently checks
1|Gain the benefit of the Run feat
2|Gain a burrow speed equal to your base land speed
5|Reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 use teleport as a spell-like ability
[/table]

Same thing here as with agorophobia, except with tiers 3 and 4. Maybe the burrow speed can scale: start at 15 or 20 feet and add 5 feet per tier above tier 2?

Arithmophobia (Fear of Numbers)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Gather Information checks, and Gather Information is a class skill for you
1|Your attacks ignore 5 points of damage reduction + 3 per additional tier
2|Use mirror image at will as a spell-like ability
[/table]

Same here as with Acrophobia.

Ballistophobia (Fear of Missile Weapons)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +3 dodge bonus to AC vs ranged attacks
1|You can make 1 extra attack of opportunity each round, +1 per additional tier
2|Gain the benefit of the Deflect Arrows feat, even if you don't meet the prerequisites
[/table]

What's with the extra attacks of opportunity? To hit archers more when they attack within threat range?

Barophobia (Fear of Gravity)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus on Jump checks
1|Your carrying capacity is calculated as if you were one size category larger
2|Use levitate at will as a spell-like ability
4|Reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 to produce a reverse gravity effect as a spell-like ability
[/table]

Tier 3 gives nothing, which makes me a sadpanda.

Claustrophobia (Fear of Enclosed Spaces)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Escape Artist checks, and Escape Artist is a class skill for you
1|Gain darkvision 30 feet + 10 feet per additional tier
4|Benefit from freedom of movement
5|Reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 as a full-round action to produce a freedom effect as a spell-like ability
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Cleithrophobia (Fear of Imprisonment)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Open Locks checks, and Open Locks is a class skill for you
1|Reduce this phobia to tier 0 as a full-round action to produce a grease effect as a spell-like ability
3|Reduce this phobia to tier 0 as a full-round action to produce a passwall effect as a spell-like ability
5|Reduce this phobia to tier 0 as a full-round action to produce an astral projection effect as a spell-like ability (targeting yourself only)
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Grease is also an interesting choice. Slip through spaces with a circumstance bonus on Escape Artist or something?

Coulrophobia (Fear of Clowns and Jesters)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Sense Motive checks, and Sense Motive is a class skill for you
1|Gain a +2 insight bonus on saves to defeat illusions, +1 per additional tier
2|Become immune to charm and compulsion effects
4|Reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 to gain the benefit of true seeing for 1d6 rounds +1d6 rounds per additional tier
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Cynophobia (Fear of Dogs)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 bonus to Concentration checks, and Concentration is a class skill for you
1|Gain the scent special ability
2|Gain the benefit of the Improved Trip feat, even if you don't meet the prerequisites; the bonus to the trip attempt granted by the feat increases by +2 per additional tier
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Emitophobia (Fear of Vomiting)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +2 insight bonus to saves vs poison
1|You do not need to eat or drink, and any negative effects you may be suffering due to starvation or dehydration disappear
2|You gain the benefit of one potion you drank within the past 24 hours + 2 hours per additional tier; once a potion has been used for this ability, it cannot be used again until you drink another one of the same kind
[/table]

The bonus on saves versus poison could probably scale with no problem.

Hypnophobia (Fear of Sleep)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Autohypnosis checks, and Autohypnosis is a class skill for you
1|You are immune to magic sleep effects
2|You heal an amount of nonlethal damage each round equal to your Charisma modifier, +2 per additional tier
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Mechanophobia (Fear of Machines)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Disable Device checks, and Disable Device is a class skill for you
1|You can critical hit and deal precision damage to constructs who would normally be immune
2|You gain the benefit of the Improved Sunder feat, and deal +2d6 damage on sunder attempts, +2d6 per additional tier
4|Continuously gain the benefit of the ironguard spell
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Monophobia (Fear of Being Alone)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Diplomacy checks
1|Whenever you flank an opponent with an ally, the flanking bonus to attacks increases to +4, +2 per additional tier
2|As a full-round action, you can reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 to produce a summon monster I effect as a spell-like ability; for each additional tier, increase the level of the summon monster by 2 (i.e., for tier 4 you produce summon monster V)
[/table]

Does the flanking bonus apply only to the panphobic or does it increase for her ally as well? Clarification in text is likely necessary.

Mysophobia (Fear of Disease)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Heal checks, and Heal is a class skill for you
1|You are immune to disease
2|As a standard action, you can heal 1d4 points of damage +1d4 per additional tier with a successful touch
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Ophidiophobia (Fear of Snakes)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Perform checks, and Perform is a class skill for you
1|Gain a primary bite natural attack which does 1d4 + 1.5 Strength +1d4 per additional tier (for a Medium creature; the extra d4's increase base damage)
2|Your bite attack delivers an injury poison (DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Con mod, 1d6 Con/1d6 Con)
[/table]

Perform. Snake charmer. I get it. Same as acrophobia.

Plutophobia (Fear of Wealth)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Appraise checks, and Appraise is a class skill for you
1|You are automatically aware of the most valuable magic item you do not already own within 120'. You can pinpoint its location (as the blindsense ability), and you may make a DC 15 Appraise check as a free action to determine its abilities as the identify spell
3|Continuously benefit from the rusting grasp spell
[/table]

Same as acrophobia.

Also, tiers 2, 4, and 5 have nothing. Maybe the range on being aware of the most valuable magic item you don't own could scale with tier, at least.

Sequipedaliophobia (Fear of Long Words)
{table=head]Tier|Effect
0|Gain a +4 insight bonus to Truespeak checks, and Truespeak is a class skill for you
1|You are immune to language-dependent effects
2|As an immediate action whenever a creature within 30 feet casts a spell with a verbal component, you may reduce the tier of this phobia to 0 and make a Truespeak check, with a +2 bonus per additional tier, to attempt to disrupt the spell; the caster must roll 1d20 + caster level + level of spell against a DC equal to your Truespeak check result, or the spell fails
[/table]

Isn't this hippomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Also, same as acrophobia.

[Temotei]

Going out boating and likely won't be back until tonight. I'll get back to critiquing the rest afterward.

[sirpercival]

Going out boating and likely won't be back until tonight. I'll get back to critiquing the rest afterward.

You are awesome.

[malonkey1]

Going out boating and likely won't be back until tonight. I'll get back to critiquing the rest afterward.

Thank you so much. Have fun! I recommend you sing this.

[Temotei]

Thank you so much. Have fun! I recommend you sing this.

Nine hundred horsepower (450 per and there were two), 10,000 pounds. Pretty great.

Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It's off to work I go!

[Temotei]

Remover of Disturbances Critique:

Spoiler

Show

Remover of Disturbances

Fear not, my child. Your illness shall not be without end

Going the other way with this theme, it seems. Cool.

Clerics and Druids are all fine and good for healing bodies and protecting nature, but sometimes, the mind is what needs healing, and nature can't always protect itself. The Remover of Disturbances is somebody who has devoted their life not only to healing innocents in both mind and body, but also to destroying those who endanger the sanity of innocent people, such as mages and aberrations.

Nice. Good summary.

Adventures: Often, a Remover will seek lore or power to combat an ancient evil, but many also roam the Earth, aiding those who need it.

Characteristics: Removers have potent healing powers, but are not without offensive capabilities. Their innate link to the hearts and souls of the world around them grant them a profound form of divine magic that, in practice, is similar to that of a Warlock.

Alignment: As individuals that oppose both evil and madness, a Remover of Disturbances can be neither Chaotic nor Evil.

Religion: Many follow deities of healing or protection, and are sometimes part of their churches. Most of them, however, prefer to leave their faith unbound to any one entity, as they know that even gods can die or be corrupted.

Background: Some believe that Removers gain their power from divine providence, or from a lineage of Archons, but it's uncertain exactly where this power comes from. It may simply be the universe's natural response to inter-dimensional intrusion.

Races: Humans and their ilk are the most common Removers, probably because they are the most common and adaptable race. Neanderthals and other such savage races often regard these people as "spirit warriors" annd turn to them when needing mystical guidance.

Other Classes: They get on best with Druids, finding in common a hatred of Aberrations and Undead. They may come into friction with Clerics or Paladins, being that most ignore the "authority" of gods. They are often suspicious of arcanists, especially Warlocks, but if they see past the appearances of them to their good hearts, they will savagely protect anyone of any class.

Role: The Remover of Disturbances operates best as a support class, but if an Aberration or Undead comes into the picture, they can deal some serious damage. They possess numerous anti-caster tricks as well.

Adaptation: By changing the enemies they are focused against, you could entirely change their flavor. For example, you could change their abilities to be effective against Elementals, and change their alignment restrictions, and you could have a Balancer of Elements. Change it to Constructs and Undead and give them some more nature-centric abilities, and you have a Warden of Nature. Change it to Plants and Animals, and focus their abilities to counter those of druid or rangers, and you have a Captain of Industry. The possibilities are endless.

Looking good. I like the adaptation part. Very nice.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
Removers of Disturbances have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Charisma is an important ability, seeing as it determines the save DCs of your Invocations. Behind that, you'll want Dexterity and/or Constitution in order to have some survival ability. Being able to research your foes is important, so you may want a little Intelligence.
Alignment: Non-Evil, Non-Chaotic.
Hit Die: d6
Starting Age: As Bard
Starting Gold: As Sorcerer

Class Skills
The Remover's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Decipher Script (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha), Heal (Wis), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge[Arcana, Dungeoneering, History, Nature, Religion, Planes] (Int), Listen (Wis), Profession (Wis), Search (Wis), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), and Use Magic Device (Cha)

Skill Points at First Level: (4 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 4 + Int modifier

Happening class skills list. Intimidate is interesting on a support "healing" class. Looks good.

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Remover of Disturbances.

Class features are balling. I like class features. My body is ready.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Removers of Disturbance are proficient with all simple weapons and light armor. Additionally, they may choose a number of martial weapons up to their Charisma Bonus (if any). They are treated as proficient in these weapons only against aberrations and undead. They may select feats that require proficiency in one or more of these weapons, but they only apply while wielding them against aberrations or the undead. (in games with the Weapon Groups variant, they instead receive proficiency in a single weapon group under the given circumstances.)

Interesting. Wealth spread over weapons will probably deviate more toward the simple weapons, but I could see your martial weapon(s) getting bane to make up for it. It's clear what enemies you're facing when you pull them out, anyway. Anyway, cool stuff.

Invocations (Sp): Removers of disturbance use a form of intuitive magic called an Invocation. These are considered spell-like abilities, except for the following: Any effect that specifically prevents divine spells from working (such as an Elder Evil's anathematic abilities) prevent these invocations from working as well. Unlike a Warlock's Invocations, these Invocations are not subject to armor-related spell failure. The equivalent of Dark Invocations for this class are referred to as Bright invocations. The save DC for these invocations is 10 + effective spell level + the Remover's Cha bonus.

Nice flavor changes here.

Exotic Arcana: Due to the Remover's peculiar form of magic, they qualify for feats and prestige classes in an unusual way. When determining prerequisites for any feat, skill trick, class, or other thing, note the following:

• A Remover of Disturbances can qualify for anything requiring a given caster level (divine or unspecified).
• A Remover of Disturbance may not use Invocations to qualify for haveing the ability to cast spells of a given level, but if one of her invocations replicates a specifically required spell, she meets any requirements for ability to cast that specific spell.
• She may not use levels in this class to satisfy caster level requirements in a prestige class which requires giving up spell slots as part of its class features.
• This class qualifies for the taking of Infernal Adept.

You should probably state that a remover's caster level for the purposes of qualifying for these things is equal to her remover level. Otherwise you have players trying to say "Well, I qualify for anything requiring a given caster level. Therefore, I'm taking this class which requires 9th-level spells at level 4." Hyperbole for illustration.

This looks otherwise cool and fun.

Energy Sparks (Sp): The most basic power of a Remover is the ability to create a few sparks of white-hot energy. As a standard action, she may use this Invocation (which does not count against her Invocations Known) to create a number of sparks (which behave similarly to Magic Missile, except that they are not blocked by things designed to block force effects). Each spark deals 1d4 damage, plus 1/2 her Charisma bonus, to most creatures. Against Undead and Aberrations, each one instead deals 1d8 damage + her full Charisma modifier. She may "hold the charge" of this invocation, but if she casts another invocation, she loses the charge.

It functions exactly like magic missile except it's not blocked by force-blocking effects, right? Does shield block it? You should specify that the table gives the number of energy sparks shot off. Lastly, what exactly does holding the charge do? What's the point? How long can you hold the charge?

Hell Hunter (Ex): As a result of your hatred for the unnatural beings you fight, you have gained an uncanny capacity to find them. You receive a +1 bonus to Track checks, Gather Information Checks, and Search Checks to find the locations of Aberrations and Undead creatures. At levels 6, 11, and 16, this bonus increases by one.

This is flavorful, but the bonus is situational and small enough that you can probably make it 1/2 class levels with no hitch, to be honest. Also, by Track, I assume you mean Survival checks made to track aberrations or undead.

Detect Monstrosity(Su): You can detect the presence of aberrant beings and magic. seeing their influence as a sickly green haze, hanging in the air. This is an at-will ability that allows you to detect Aberrations and Undead, as if by a detect alignment spell, as well as detect necromancy (and necromancy alone, including cross-school necromancy spells) as if by detect magic.

Nice. Again, flavorful.

Expel Madness (Su): You can remove outside influence from the minds of others, and heal their broken psyches. Once per day, you may make a caster level check to dispel a mind-affecting magical effect on a touched creature. While doing so, you also restore 1d6 sanity per three caster levels to the target.

What's the DC of the caster level check? Equal to the saving throw DC? As dispel magic (11 + caster level of the effect)?

Also, 1d6 sanity per day could trivialize sanity as a mechanic. Does a person have to be affected by a mind-affecting effect to be healed sanity or can expel madness be used just for the sanity restoration?

Favored Enemy (Ex): Your hate for these beasts makes you the perfect counter to them, but sometimes, you must hunt other creatures, most often evil dragons or outsiders. As the Ranger Class feature, except that at levels 4 and 12, you must choose either Aberrations or Undead (you may choose any other type at levels 8 and 20).

The table doesn't match up with this. There's no favored enemy gained at 8th level in the table, and at 12th level it says any. At 16th level, you gain a favored enemy on the table and it says it has to be aberrations or undead. Fixity fix.

Smite the Maddening (Su): You can not only heal their victims and hunt them down. When you find aberrant monsters, you can bring your full fury to bear upon them. Once per day, while making an attack or using your Energy Sparks against an Aberration, Undead, or Favored Enemy, you may add your Charisma bonus to the attack roll (if applicable), and your class level to the damage dealt on hit. In the case of your Energy Sparks, this applies only once, and the damage can be distibuted among targets independently of the individual missiles, creating smaller "min-sparks" of energy. At levels 10, 15, and 20, you gain an additional use of this ability. This ability is eligible for feats such as Extra Smiting or Sapphire Smite, and the DM may allow this to be used in place of Smite Evil for prerequisites.

Cute. Keeping up with the anti-madness monster theme.

Turn the Wicked (Su): The blasphemous creatures you fight cannot bear your countenance, turning and fleeing from you as their victims fled them. You gain the ability to Turn as a Cleric of your level-5. This turning functions normally against undead, but can also be used on Aberrations. Aberrations turned this way are treated as having Turn Resistance equal to their Hit dice.

The paladin has enough trouble with its turning level (as cleric - 3). Making it even worse for the remover seems like a bad move to me, especially since aberrations get turn resistance. Also, how many times per day can you do this? I assume 3 + Cha modifier times per day, but explicitly saying it would be nice. Anyway, this is probably going to be used to fuel divine feats more often than turn enemies since divine feats will actually function (and probably better against undead and aberrations than this, even).

Expel Lies (Su): You fight not only aberrations of body, but also aberrations of truth, casting out the magical falsehoods these dark creatures weave. Once per day, you mat make a caster level check to dispel an illusion within 60 feet of you. While doing so, you may make a Charisma check to cure half the sanity damage the illusion may have caused to each target, with a DC equal to 10 + the level of the Spell + the caster's modifier (Cha for Sorcerers, Wis for Clerics, etc.).

I assume the caster level check DC is the same as above with expel madness.

The Charisma check is more often than not going to fail. A Charisma check is just 1d20 + Cha modifier, whereas the enemy effect gets the spell level added on. Is this intended?

Destroy the Wicked (Ex): You have, through long study, learned the bizarre weak points of these things, and have learned to exploit them in combat. You can make critical hits and sneak attacks against undead and aberrations that would be otherwise immune. Other creatures immune to sneak attack (e.g. constructs) are still immune to you, other abilities notwithstanding.

Okay. It's something, I guess.

Spellwrath (Su): Your spite for these monstrosities allows you to focus your hate into your magic. You may apply your Favored enemy bonus (if applicable) to damage, spell save DCs, and caster level checks with spells and spell-like abilities you use against your favored enemies.

Shiny. Does the bonus to caster level checks apply to expel madness and expel lies?

Scintillating Sword (Su): When wielding a weapon against an Aberration or Undead, it deals an extra 1d6 damage to it, in addition to bonuses from a Holy Weapon or other weapon enhancement.

Yay, +1d6 damage at 18th level. Whoo?

You could make this a much earlier-level ability and have it scale throughout the levels or just make the number bigger. A piddly 1d6 at this point is just...why bother, y'know?

Unending Hatred (Su): You cannot be killed directly by Aberrations or undead. If you would be brought to 0 hit points or less, or 0 constitution, by the abilities of an Undead or Aberration, you ignore the effects until the end of the encounter. If you are healed enough to prevent you from dying before this time, you suffer no ill effects. Additionally, you are immune to any mind-affecting abilities of Undead or Aberrations. You receive Spell Resistance 15, but this Spell Resistance is treated as 25 against Aberrations and Undead.

Looks fair, though it seems like you're making this ability as if you die at 0 hit points rather than -10 hit points. Also, can you release the spell resistance? What action does it take, if so? Does the spell resistance stay at 15 and 25 regardless of your level?

Well, honestly, not seeing much support stuff here. It's mostly destruction of undead and aberrations. Moving on to invocations.

Invocations

Least

Backdrop Meld
Effective level 2
This invocation allows you to meld your form, and the form of any gear you are carrying, into that of an onbject at least one size category larger than you, for up to 1 minute per caster level. This is an excellent invocation for hiding.

An onbject, huh? I've always wanted to be one of those.

You have to make yourself bigger, huh? Alright. Not much else to say.

Blinking Step
Effective Level 2
For 24 hours after you cast this invocation, whenever you make a 5-foot step, you may make a Tumble check (DC 25) to make a 10-foot step instead takinging no additional penalties, and still not provoking attacks of opportunity. For all purposes except distance moved, you have taken a 5-foot step.

Takinging no additional penalties is great!

Having no Tumble on your list makes this nearly impossible to reach for a couple of levels and very hard to reach for several levels after, but whatevs. A 10-foot step is very good to have.

Dispel Senses
Effective Level 2
A target within 60 feet of you must make a Will save or lose one sensory ability (not including basic ones such as sight or hreaing, but including ones such as blindsense, darkvision or scent) for 1d4 rounds.

Hreaing!

Ectoplasmic Patch
Effective Level 2
You may replicate the "patch" use of grease, or may create a field of the same size and shape as the effect area of the grease that reduces those that fail a Reflex save to 5 feet.

It reduces those who fail a Reflex save to 5 feet. Wut. I assume you mean their speed is reduced to 5 feet.

Energy Conversion
Effective Level 2
As protection from energy, except that it lasts for 24 hours after casting. You may make a move action (and touch the target) to change the type of energy it protects from, but only once per encounter.

Does "once per encounter" go by the Tome of Battle definition of once every five minutes outside of combat? If not (or even if so), you should define the time.

Flash of Light
Effective Level 2
Causes the touched object as per light for 24 hours. Additionally, once per encounter, you may take a standard action to blind any sighted creatures within 40 feet of the object for 1d4 rounds. If a target makes a Fortitude save, they are dazzled instead.

That first sentence is...messed up. I get what you're saying, though, so moving on. Just fix that, yeah?

Cool beans, this one. Have to be careful of your allies, but that's fine. Blindness is a powerful debuff.

Liebreaker
Effective Level 2
As zone of truth, except that those caught in it may still attempt to lie (the DC for a Bluff check to do so is doubled). Those that do attempt to lie take 1d10 points of damage.

Huh, seems odd that this suspect just died, doesn't it, kid? Sure does, sir. Hm. Yes. I believe he may have been lying. Too bad. Next!

Miasmic Cloud
Effective Level 2
As fog cloud, except that those caught in it must make a Fortitude save or be sickened for 1d6 rounds after they leave the cloud (or the cloud dissipates).

They're only sickened after leaving the cloud? Interesting crowd control tool, though that's probably not what you mean.

Repel Aberrant Creatures
Effective Level 2
As consecrate, except that you do not need an altar to be devoted to a specific deity, and its effects apply to Aberrations as well as Undead.

Alright.

Lesser

Animate
Effective level 4
You can animate an object of a size up to two categories smaller than yourself which will follow orders. Due to the relative stupidity of this creature, it must be given simple, single sentence commands, such as "attack," "follow," "guard," "distract enemies," and so forth. This animation persists for 24 hours, or until it is destroyed or you dismiss the effect.

There's no limit on the number of objects you can animate? I feel like going all Mickey/Yen Sid with this.

Crumble
Effective level 3
You can replicated the effects of a disintegrate spell, but this invocation only disintegrates inanimate objects or damages constructs, undead, and other unliving creatures.

Cool. Going to trivialize a few encounters early on, but meh.

Planar Call
Effective level 5
You may call an interplanar creature as per lesser planar ally, except that in place of paying an experience point cost, you must perform an agreed-upon task (which you will be placed under a geas to do so).

Very cool.

Righteous Terror
Effective Level 5
You can afflict a target with a terrifying visage. This is a mind-affecting effect, but is still effective against undead with an intelligence score, and surpasses their condition immunities. If the target fails its Will save, it suffers an effect based on its type:
{table=head]Type|Effect
Aberration, Undead|Dazed for 1d3 rounds, frightened for 1d3 rounds afterward
Dragon, Outsider|Shaken for 1d6 rounds, dazzled 1d6 rounds afterwards
Other|Shaken for 1d4 rounds.[/table]

Alright. Progression of the theme.

Temporal Shock
Effective level 5
Upon casting this spell, all creatures in the encounter who have rolled initiative must, before any creatures can take action at the start of the next round, reroll their Initiative, changing initiative order to match these new rolls. This could be a great advantage, or a great hindrance!

This is interesting, though...it doesn't seem to really fit with the class. It's pretty support-y, though, which the class was advertised to be (and hasn't had much of), so...I'll take it.

Unstoppable Might
Effective Level 5
The target of this Invocation receives a +2 bonus to 1d3 ability scores, determined by the caster. This effect lasts for 24 hours or until dispelled.

Permanent +2 bonus to 3 ability scores on everyone in the party, go! Untyped, too. The main problem with this is that you can just dismiss the effect and roll again if you don't get a 3. It's shiny, though not exactly fun after the boost takes place. Something active in the ability would be cool, like releasing the granted energy to double the bonus or to do something related to the boosted ability scores. Something needs to be done about the dispel-reroll tactic, though.

Great

Aberrant Destruction:
Effective Level 6
As undeath to death, except it is also effective against Aberrations, and you do not need the material component.

Alright. Destroy more, I reckon.

Curse Return:
Effective level 6
You can replicate the effects of a break enchantment spell on the target. Additionally, there is a 5% chance (+5% per point of Charisma bonus you possess) for the effect that was broken by this invocation to be applied to the effect's originator (e.g. the caster of the spell). This originator is entitled to a save as normal, and if they are normally immune to the effect, they are unaffected and unaware that they would have been affected. The DC for this save is the greater of its original save, or the save for a 6th-level Invocation as cast by you.

Cool stuff. Support and offense in one, though limited.

Light of Truth:
Effective Level 5
You create a light from your face that shines as brightly as a decent lantern, in a 60-foot cone. Anything in that cone appears as it would if all observers had true seeing active. Additionally, this effect counters and dispels any effects normally countered and dispelled by light effects of level 5 or lower.

Nice. I like it.

Bright

Magic Absorption:
Effective Level 8
You create an antimagic field as per the spell. Upon casting you may designate yourself or an ally within 30 feet of you. That ally heals 1d6 hit points for each creature with supernatural, spell-like, or psi-like abilities, powers, spells, or ongoing magical effects (excluding those from items) that are suppressed by the antimagic field, with each die of healing meted out at the beginning of each such creature's turn. If they are unable to act, such as in a surprise round, the target gains these hit points when that creatures would have acted (at the end of the round, for surprised creatures, for example). This Invocation's effect is not suppressed by its own antimagic field

Very cool. I like this one a lot.

Overall, the class lacks the feeling of "support" and feels like an undead/aberration hunter until it gets some invocations for its support role. More class features centered on aiding allies or crowd control or more invocations would likely solve this. You're not done with invocations, so maybe I'm missing the whole picture. It has a pretty strong flavor, though, so carry through with it and pick up on its roles more solidly and you'll have a great class (not that it's not great right now--just somewhat unfinished).

[malonkey1]

Alright, I'll take all that into consideration.

[Temotei]

Alright, I'll take all that into consideration.

Whoo! I'm contributing!

[Temotei]

Clown Critique:

Spoiler

Show

Clown

Don't stop laughing don't stop laughing never stop laughing hahahahahahHA

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ho. Ho.

Things that don't laugh must be destroyed. Make everything laugh. Forever. Do it for the pie of fun the pies of fun the pies of fun fun FUN!

Clowns are entertainers that have gone insane and developed wild habits in their performances, thinking of particular, oddly consistent things as the epitome of fun. It could be said that clowns intend good upon others, but it's more accurate to say that they believe in fun and laughter above literally everything else, including survival, so they're not exactly congruent with traditional morality.

Clowns are tireless in their pursuit of fun, and can employ their tools in violent ways against those who cannot or will not laugh. Thus, they find their uses in adventuring parties or in any situation where a little violence can solve a problem, though they seem to think that the problem is that things aren't hilarious enough right now.

I like it.

Adventures: These people aren't fun. I'll follow them around and make them fun, whether they like it or not! They can find new and hilarious things for me, as a thank you for making them laugh and laugh and laugh.

Characteristics: Clowns bring their own weapons, armor, and tools to combat, not necessarily relying on conventional arms and armor. It's more fun that way. Their signature ability to to cook pies and throw them at enemies, for a variety of increasingly-potent effects delivered by the pie filling. It seems bizarre, but that's just how they like it.

Alignment: Clowns are chaotic to the core. their single-minded devotion to fun means that they usually no not so much straddle the line between good and evil, but tie it into a bow and wear it with their costume. A clown can be good, evil, or neutral, but this is usually more dependent on whether outside circumstances give them the opportunity to be truly mad than of any moral qualities of their own.

Religion: Olidammara is the nigh-exclusive deity of clownhood, though the occasional clown may be nonreligious, finding religious cereminoes to be entirely boring. More than one clown has been kicked out of a church after performing extreme redecoration.

Background: Clowns become clowns by hedonistically fixating on fun and then being entirely nuts. It's quite simple.

Races: Light-hearted races produce the most clowns, such as gnomes and halflings. The more serious races, like elves and dwarves, are much less prone to a clown's specific breed of insanity. Humans, half-elves, and half-orcs have thier own populations of touched-in-the-head people, but less so than the small races.

Other Classes: Clowns get along well with classes that don't take themselves too seriously--usually the charisma-based ones. Bards are their favorite, and they get along with sorcerers, but they find wizards too stuffy. Any class that spends an hour preparing something may find themselves interrupted by a clown. Yes, this means clowns interrupt other clowns. They seldom mind.

Role: Clowns are melee and thrown-weapons specialist, best suited as front-line fighters.

Adaptation: The concept of a clown is a specific one. It's very easy to emphasize the horiffic aspect of this class, rather than the insanity. Alternatively, a more serious campaign may ask for extensive refluffing.

Horrific rather than horiffic. I like where this is going. You've got a set of abilities described without mechanics already along with the fluff to back them up. I can already picture the class in action.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
Clowns have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Strength and Dexterity are paramount for a good clown's melee and thrown skills, and Charisma improves the save DCs of their abilities.
Alignment: Any chaotic.
Hit Die: d10
Starting Age: As bard
Starting Gold: 5d4 * 10

Class Skills
The Clown's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Appraise (Int), Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Int), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Handle Animal (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (local) (Int), Perform (all, selected individually) (Cha), Profession (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Spot (Wis), and Use Rope (Dex).

Skill Points at First Level: (4 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 4 + Int modifier

Appraise and Disable Device seem out of place here, but I guess I could see traps not being fun and therefore a target of the clown's disabling madness.

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Clown.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Clowns are proficient with simple weapons and improvised weapons. They are proficient with light armor and shields (but not tower sheilds).

Improvised weapon proficiency. Good.

Box of Fun (Su): All Clowns start the game with a Box of Fun. A Clown's Box of Fun is a brightly-colored cube, 1 foot on a side, that appears empty to most creatures. Clowns that look in the box describe the contents only as "fun". Most clowns refuse to put anything "unfun" in their Box of Fun.

Clowns use their box to cook pies for the day and to store some of their equipment, including their Hilarious Blow, Tears of a Clown, Teeth, and Suit. The Box of Fun functions as an extradimensional storage space for those items only.

Heh. Good stuff. Is it a move action to retrieve anything in the box like with the handy haversack? Or does it function more like a bag of holding, with which you can retrieve items as a move action until there's more than a backpack can hold in the bag; then it's a full-round action? Or something else?

Cook Pies (Su): A Clown can cook pies, which it uses as thrown weapons. To cook pies, a clown must place an amount of food sufficient to sustain a creatue of their size for a day inside their Box of Fun. If they place more than one day's worth of food on the box, they cook a number of pies equal to the number of days. The quality of the food does not matter; a clown can make a pie out of anything edible, though the pies themselves are usually unsafe to eat. After placing the "ingredients" in the box, the clown closes the lid, does nothing but laugh for one hour, and then opens the lid and can pull out the now-completed pies. Wasn't that just hilarious?

Pies may contain different fillings. A Clown decides a pie's filling when they make it, chosen from the list below. A Clown can only make a pie with a filling level equal to or less than their class level. The effect of a filling only activates if the target is hit.

Clowns can make a number of pies per day equal to their class level. Pies are perishable, so they become unsuitable for consumption after 24 hours and change their filling to Junk.

In addition to their use as thrown weapons, a clown can bury their face in a pie as a standard action to gain an ability related to the filling. In doing so, they become blinded until they take a move action to scrape the pie away.

Unless otherwise stated, pies are thrown bludgeoning weapons that deal 1d3 nonlethal damage, have a range increment of 20', and have a critical range of x2. A pie that scores a critical hit on a creature--even those creatures that are immune to the extra damage--blinds that creature until it takes a move action to remove the pie from its face.

Pie Fillings

Spoiler

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None - Junk - Clowns can make pies with a "Junk" filling, which does not expend a use of Cook Pies. Junk has no extra effect.
1st - Slippery Sugar Surprise - After hitting, the pie leaks a slippery liquid into the target's square. If the target does not have 5 ranks in Balance, they are rendered flat-footed for 1 round.
1st
3rd
3rd
5th
5th
8th
8th
11th
11th
14th
14th
17th
17th
20th
20th

This is fun. I like it. My favorite part is laughing for an entire hour. Clowns have to have strong abdominal muscles.

Shoes (Ex): A Clown always wears large, obnoxious, squeaky shoes to scare aware the spirits of unfun at the edge of life and death hahahaha LAUGH OR THEY'LL GET YOU. Clowns take a penalty to Move Silently checks equal to twice their class level, and their move speed is always reduced as if they were carrying a medium load.

Well...that sucks. No benefit for the shoes? Darn.

Level 1 is going to be hard on the clown. They can make pies that deal damage as an unarmed strike does in a small range (and one pie with a mini-grease effect that doesn't last as long or have the other, less common use of it available), have simple weapons and light armor, and take penalties to speed. Sad day.

Suit (Ex): Clowns like to remove pieces of the unfun things they kill and stitch them together into a happy tapestry to wear. With help of bright paints and makeup, they refashion their outfit of skin and carapce into a funny suit. It's funny because it's funny because it's funny becuase I made it. I...made it. Do you want to be a part of it? Do you want to be a part of my happy hilarious thing?

At 2nd level, a Clown gains a "suit". Their suit takes up their armor body slot, and provides am armor bonus equal to +0, though this can be increased as described below. At 2nd level, the maximum for this bonus is +2, and increases by +2 at every three class levels above 2nd. A Clown's suit does not fit anyone except for the Clown that made it, and is quite bulky--it weighs 10 pounds for every +1 armor it grants, and is treated as medium armor with a maximum dexterity bouns of +3. A Clown's suit is treated as a masterwork item, and can be enchanted as armor, but is worth nothing on the open market because of its grisly and silly construction.

Clown suits do not automatically upgrade. To upgrade their suit, a Clown must spend an hour with the corpse of a creature with a natural armor bonus equal to or greater than the desired armor total of their suit. They laugh and laugh as they cut and stitch the corpse's skin onto the suit and repaint it.

This upgrading process can be undertaken at any time, but a suit's natural armor bonus cannot exceed the maximum for the clown's class level.

But...the clown isn't proficient with medium armor.

Also, isn't Dexterity a key ability score for the class? It seems mean to limit the AC gained from Dexterity with a class feature...especially that much.

Hilarious Blow (Su): The Clown will hit you until the part that makes you not laugh is gone forever. At 3rd level, a Clown discovers a bright red, oversized glove in their Box of Fun. This glove is functionally a gauntlet that only the clown can use properly, and has a base damage of 1d10 for a medium creature.

If the Clown has not cooked their maximum number of pies for the day, they can take a full-round action and spend a use of Cook Pies to attack once with their Hilarious Blow. If this attack hits, the target is affected as if by a filling, with a filling level equal to or less than the Clown's class level - 2.

Alright. A decent option.

Teeth (Ex): Teeth. Teeth teeth teeth teethteethteethteethteeth want some?

At 4th level, a clown learns to attach fallen creatures' sharper teeth to their own, as a macabre set of dentures. To do so, a Clown must spend 1 hour with the corpse of a creature with a bite attack, during which time they remove the creature's mouth and attach the teeth. The Clown gains a bite attack that deals an amount of base damage equal to the fallen creature's base bit damage, to a maximum of 1d4. At 7th level, this maximum increases to 1d6. It increases again to 1d8 at 10th level, 2d6 at 13th level, 2d8 at 16th level, and 4d6 at 19th level. (To determine whether the base damage of a bite with odd dice is "below" the maximum, compare the highest possible results of the bite in question and the maximum.) This process can be repeated to upgrade the Clown's teeth in steps.

At 7th level, the Clown can also fashion teeth into small construct-like devices. As with upgrading their bite or gaining it for the first time, the Clown must spend 1 hour with the corpse of a creature with a bite attack, during which time they remove the creature's mouth and fashion the teeth. The "chatterers" are Diminutive clockwork machines with an AC of 14, which chatter their teeth and mindlessly move towards the nearest enemy (as percived by the Clown) whenever they are placed on the ground. Placing a chatterer on the ground is a move-equivalent action. Chatterers have a move speed of 5', do not provoke attacks of opportunity from moving into an oppponent's square, and can make a bite attack as a standard action. Their bite attacks deal base damage equal that of the bite used to create them, to a maximum given on the table. Chatterers have 3 HP per Clown class level and a to-hit equal to the Clown's class level + 4. Otherwise, treat a chatterer as an object.

Clowns can have one chatterer at level 7 and one additional chatterer per three class levels.

Honestly, you could probably leave the bite damage maximum out. Most of the monsters will have scaling bite damage that will be somewhat appropriate for your level if you can beat them. Besides, the class doesn't have much damage going for it until 6th level, and then you have to succeed on two rolls to do it. This would be a nice way to boost it, both directly and with chatterers.

As for the chatterers, does moving out of a threatened area provoke attacks of opportunity? You only said that they don't provoke for entering a creature's square.

Grip of Joy (Su): Let's shake hands. Slower. Slower, please. Alllllllmost. Stop. Hahaha it hurts. Let's do it again. Hahaha ow. Hahaha ow. Hahahahahaha ow.

At 6th level, a Clown can grasp a creature and deliver a hilarious shock. The clown must be grappling a creature. By making grapple check as a standard action, if the clown suceeds, they grasp the opposing creature's hand (or analogue) and deliver the shock, which deals 1d6 electricity damage per class levels to the target and half of that amount to the Clown.

This should probably say the grapple check doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity even if the clown doesn't have Improved Grapple. Other than that, looks decent.

Hilarious Reach (Ex): Of course I should put it on a spring. I should put everything on a spring. At 9th level, a Clown finds an upgrade to their Hilarious Blow in their Box of Fun--by spring-loading the glove, they can punch creatures with it from range. The Clown's reach with their Hilarious Blow increases by 5', and the force of the spring increases the base damage as if the Clown and their Hilarious Blow were one size category larger.

Nice.

Tears of the Clown (Ex): There are things that aren't laughing, and if I drown the world in the angry tears that I cry because they're not laughing...they'll die. Isn't that a fun thought? That they'll finally die?

At 12th level, a Clown can spend ten minutes each day crying into a setzer bottle that they find in their Box of Fun. The tears last for the rest of the day. The Clown can spray from the selzer bottle, usually pinned to their suit and disguised, as a standard action. This creates a spray of acid. The spray is a line of fog, 5' long per two class levels. The spray deals 1d6 acid damage per two Clown levels to all creatures in the fog. A Reflex save halves this damage, DC 10 + 1/2 clown class level + Cha.

As part of the action to spray, the Clown may spend a use of Cook Pies to affect all creatures who failed their Reflex save as if by a filling, with a filling level equal to or less than the Clown's class level - 6.

Can the clown cry multiple times per day to fill the bottle multiple times? Or is the bottle always filled for the day after he cries? Just one spray per crying session?

Hilarious Explosion (Su): You must be mistaken. It's obviously confetti. If it wasn't confetti, it wouldn't be fun, but it's fun, so it's confetti.

At 15th level, when a Clown hits with their Hilarious Blow as a standard action and spends a use of Cook Pies, it explodes! The small explosion covers the nearby creatures in sticky makeup and pie fillings, although it is often tainted with bits of metal (for neutral clowns) or blood (for evil clowns). All creatures within 5' of the target must make a Reflex save, 10 + 1/2 Clown class level + Cha, or be affected as if by a filling, with a filling level equal to or less than the Clown's class level - 9. The primary target gets no reflex save, and is instead affected as if by another filling (possibly the same one), with a filling level equal to or less than the Clown's class level - 2. This replaces the ability in the second paragraph of Hilarious Blow.

Good clowns don't get any special bits added? Confetti? Darn.

This is nice, though.

Elastic Weapons (Su): You can make a balloon version of anything. Weapons, people, your still-beating heart. Balloons don't hurt, and balloon are everything, so nothing hurts. Hold still and I'll show you.

At 18th level, a Clown's suit deflects and distorts blows as if the weapons were made out of rubber. The Clown gains DR/lawful equal to his Suit's armor bonus.

Comes pretty late for a generic boost to damage reduction...and you can't make a balloon version of everything with this, which makes me a sadpanda. Or it just doesn't have a mechanical effect, I guess. But meh.

Ecstatic Apotheosis (Su): At 20th level, the Clown becomes the embodiment of fun. Their type changes to Outsider (Native, Chaotic), and their uses of Cook Pies becomes unlimited. They are constantly surrounded by faint, otherworldly laughter, which is never quieted, even within the radius of a silence effect.

Yayyyyy pies. Not bad. That last effect is fun.

Overall, the theme is very strong and everything reinforces it well, from fluff to mechanics. You just have to touch up a few things, clarify, and finish pie fillings and you'll be good. Good job. It looks very fun and funny.

[Pyromancer999]

So, just posted my entry, which I think merits a bit of explanation:

So, for those who haven't heard of it, Changeling: The Lost is one of the World of Darkness campaign settings, where insane fey abduct mortal folk and alter them. My entry is something of a translation of that game into d20, albeit with twists of my own to it.

The Changeling is a simple racial template that is designed to give some of the taste of being a Changeling in Changeling: The Lost. The Lost class is designed for those who want to go full-on into that.

To do:

• Add Contracts
• Add Kiths and Racial Feats
• Expand Hold options

As is easy to see, the current version of the class and race are both very rough, as well as being a lot of text to go through and incomplete. So, PEACHes would be heavily appreciated, and as a show of my appreciation, people who PEACH can request to have a contract from Changeling translated into a Contract for the Lost class before any others. Thanks in advance for any comments, criticism, and/or PEACHes people can give me to help improve this.

[Temotei]

Black Blood Vanguard Critique:

Spoiler

Show

Black Blood Vanguard

"My blood is black...!

No way. Someone named as a black blood vanguard has black blood? Whaaaaat?

Info: Black Blood Vanguards are warriors that use a substance called black blood as their main fighting tool. This black blood courses through each one of their veins and can be used in a variety of ways. Hardening to prevent damage, summoning waves of black blood to corrode opponents' minds and many other options. Black Blood Vanguards often work in the service of a Vector Witch whom sometimes can create Black Blood Vanguards by infusing subjects with copious amounts of various black blood compounds.

Very cool.

Characteristics: This class focuses control and debuffing opponents. The class itself is very mobile once it gets some black tentacles scattered around the battlefield which allow it to be pulled from one area of the battle to another almost instantly. Their black blood can make will saves incredibly difficult as the battle progresses.

Races: There isn't a race more prone to becoming a Black Blood Vanguard. Most of the time Vector Witches grab random test subjects to experiment with and those subjects can sometimes become Black Blood Vanguard.

Alignment: Vanguards tend to have different goals and reasons for following those goals. Most Vanguards are chaotic though as the black blood that flows through their veins makes it difficult to maintain complete devotion to law.

Other Classes: Vanguard's love to travel enchanters as they can support him from the back lines of combat and they can control the weakened minds corrupted by the black blood. They tend to have an issue with some lawful classes such as paladin and cleric due to their chaotic nature and the collateral damage they can sometimes cause.

Role: The main role an Vanguard plays is that of a frontline melee combatant with high mobility and survivability. He can use black tentacles and his black blood wave abilities to control the battlefield and maneuver himself and minions around. He can slowly degrade opponents minds making them more vulnerable to control and other effects.

Good setup. Solid, clean fluff. I'm not really sure what the first part of "Other Classes" means, though. "Vanguard's love to travel enchanters as they can support him..." doesn't really make sense to me.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
Vanguards have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Strength is the most important ability for Vanguards since it modifies their melee attack rolls and damage rolls as well as modifying several of their Incantation abilities. Constitution is also important as it modifies their hit points which help them fuel their black tentacle abilities. Charisma is also important as it modifies the Vanguard's incantation's save dc's and other class features.

Alignment: Any
Hit Die: d10
Starting Age: As paladin.
Starting Gold: As paladin

Class Skills
The Vanguard's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Craft (Int) Listen (Wis), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (Arcane), (Int), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), Swim (Str)

Skill Points at First Level: (2 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 2 + Int modifier

Pretty standard. Got Hide and Move Silently, too, which is cool.

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Vanguard.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: Vanguard are proficient with all simple weapons and martial weapons and with all types of armor and shields.

Tower shield proficiency. Nice.

Incantations The Vanguard is an incanter with access to four schools of incantations, Corruption, Pain, Terror and Vampiric. He begins the game with 1 incantation and gains incantations as he levels as shown on the table above.

He refreshes a number of his incantations whenever he drives a creature with more than 3 intelligence insane (See Black Blood below). He refreshes a number equal to the number of black blood tokens needed to drive that creature insane.

The Vanguard can have a maximum of 40 soul power at a time. The Vanguard uses charisma to determine the DC of his incantations.

Lots of new terms. Moving on.

Black Blood: (Ex) The Vanguard has black blood flowing threw his veins. Black blood is an alchemical substance fused with the essence of madness which grants the Vanguard durability but at the expense of some sanity. The Vanguard gains damage reduction x/- where x is equal to 2+1/4 of his class level. This damage reduction stacks with all other damage reduction. The Vanguard also can generate incredible amounts of black blood and even when using abilities that generate large amounts of black blood he can still function (See Blood Tentacles, Blood Wave and similar abilities below). This defensive power also allows the Vanguard to ignore any extra damage caused by bleeding injuries as the black blood stops all bleeding wounds and the Vanguard can simply restore any lost blood.

This defensive power comes at a cost though and the Vanguard takes a -2 penalty on all wisdom based checks and skills and a -2 penalty on any saving throw against fear effects as the black blood messes with their mental stability.

The Vanguard can use black blood offensively as well, coating his weapon in it, conjuring waves of black blood or other abilities described below. Subjects being hit by these abilities occur madness tokens if they fail a will saving throw (DC: 10 + 1/2 Incanter Level + Charisma Modifier). Madness tokens grant a -1 penalty to will saves per madness token the subject has. If the subject gains a number of madness tokens equal to his HD + 2 (So 3 tokens at level 1, 8 tokens at level 6, etc) he goes insane under the influence of the black blood. The subject is irrevocably insane but dies after 10 minutes of being insane. The insane subject gains damage reduction 10/- as the black blood grants some defensive properties to the subject. Madness tokens from multiple Vanguards don't stack, if one Vanguard gives a subject 4 madness tokens and Vanguard gives the same target 3, then that target is treated as if having 4 madness tokens. If the Vanguard who gave the target 3 gives another 2 madness tokens then the target is treated as if having five madness tokens. Madness tokens can only be restored by a heal spell, greater restoration or more powerful restorative magic. These spells remove all madness tokens on a subject. Subjects with immunity to Mind Affecting abilities do not gain Madness Tokens.

Sounds good, I think.

Black Ichor: (Su) By spending 10 Soul Power the Vanguard can coat all of his weapons with black blood as a free action. Until the beginning of next turn any melee attacks made by the Vanguard corrupt the subject and they must make a will save or gain a single madness token (Described in the Black Blood class feature above).

So...what's soul power? How do you get it?

Looks fine, otherwise.

Bloody Slicer: (Su) As a standard action ranged attack a Vanguard can cut his own wrists with a blade or simply have his black blood burst out towards a target within 60ft. The Vanguard makes an attack roll with his attack bonus being his BAB + Charisma Modifier. If he hits the subject must make a will save or gain a madness token and the attack deals 2d6+charisma modifier slashing damage. At 7th level this ability forces the subject to make a second will save or gain another madness token, at 15th level the target must make a third, at 20th the target must make a fourth.

Cool. Variety is nice.

Bloody Bulwark: (Su) Beginning at second level a Vanguard can further enhance his black blood for defense. As a swift action the Vanguard can gain damage reduction 5/- for the rest of the encounter or ten minutes whichever is longer. This damage reduction is increased by 5 for every 6th incanter level (So DR 10/- at 8th, DR 15/- at 14th and DR 20/- at 20th). This ability can be used once per day at 2nd level and an additional time per day at 6th, 10th, and 14th level. At 18th level the ability becomes permanent and the Vanguard is treated as if always having Bloody Bulwark active.

More damage reduction is good. Tank tank tank tank.

Bloody Tentacles: (Su) A third level Vanguard can sacrifice his life force and some madness lingering in others to create a tentacle made of black blood. To do so the Vanguard spends a standard action to sacrifice any number of hit points up to his maximum (He can kill himself with this if he so wishes to) as well as a single mad token from a single creature within LoE and LoS. Then he can summon a surge of black blood that comes gushing from his mouth, nose and even behind his eyes. This process doesn't hurt the Vanguard but it does create a bloody tentacle in an adjacent square with a number of current hit points and maximum hit points equal to double the number of hit points sacrificed by the Vanguard. Statistics for the tentacles are below. The tentacles last for one minute per incanter level. The tentacles are mindless but act as the Vanguard wishes and act on his turn.

Bloody Tentacles

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Aberration (Size Varies)
HD Varies
Speed 0ft
Init: As Incanter
AC Varies (See Below)
BAB As Incanter
Attack Tentacle (See Below)
Space Varies.; Reach Varies.
Special Attacks Improved Grab, Reach, Sacrifice
Special Qualities Damage Reduction 10/-, Black Bond
Saves As Incanter
Abilities Str (See Black Bond), Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis -, Cha -
Skills N/A
Feats N/A
Challenge Rating Varies
Alignment Usually Chaotic
Level Adjustment -

Black Bond: (Su) The tentacle has a measure of strength given to it by the incanter who created it. It's strength score is equal to the incanter's charisma score +3 for each size category it is above medium. It's BAB is equal to the incanter's incanter level. And it gains fast healing and natural armor equal to the Incanter's charisma modifier +1 for every size it is above medium. Its size varies on how much hit points the incanter sacrificed to create it.

• 1-15 Hit Points Sacrificed: Medium
• 16-40 Hit Points Sacrificed: Lage
• 41-60 Hit Points Sacrificed: Huge
• 61-80 Hit Points Sacrificed: Gargantuan
• 81+ Hit Points Sacrificed: Colossal

Improved Grab: Whenever a Bloody Tentacle hits a target of equal to or smaller size than itself with its tentacle attack he can make a grapple attempt as a free action that does not provoke attack of opportunities.

Reach: The Bloody Tentacle can reach out as a full round action and grab a willing creature within its reach. It can then move that creature anywhere within it's threatened area. If the creature is not a Black Blood Vanguard then it must make a will save or gain a madness token.

Sacrifice: (SLA) The Bloody Tentacle sacrifice's its own life force and grants a quarter of its current hit points to the Vanguard in exchange for destroying itself. The Tentacle can use this ability as a free action and doesn't need to be within LoS or LoE of the Vanguard to use this ability.

It seems like reach would be an ability available after a successful grapple (not requiring an action, but possibly releasing the grapple to move it to the edge of its reach. I think that's all I have to say here.

Blood Wave: (Su) As a standard action a fourth level Vanguard can cause a torrent of black blood gushing out from his body creating a large wave of madness which corrupts and blasts those in its path. The wave is a line 10ft wide, 10ft high and 50ft long, the attack deals 2d6+charisma modifier bludgeoning damage to all those in the path, the gushing pool of blood is too sudden and erratic to be dodged normally and automatically hits all on the path (Treat as line attack with no saving throw). In addition it bull rushes all those in the path, huge sized creatures and smaller must make a bull rush check versus a dc of (15+the Vanguard's Charisma Modifier) or be knocked back as normal for a bull rush. If they fail by 10 or more than they are knocked prone. Any creature damaged by this ability must make a will save or gain a madness token.

Cool. Big effect, but creatures get checks to resist the worst of it, so it seems fine. The only weird part of this for me is bludgeoning damage, but whatevs.

Talents: At 5th level and every 3rd level after (8th, 11th, etc) the Vanguard can select a talent to specialize his abilities. At each of the above levels he can only chose talents available at that level, he may not chose any talents from previous levels and he can select any of the three available talents at the given level. The three different type of talents are Tentacle Talents which modify the Black Tentacle ability, Black Blood Talents, which modify offensive and defensive black blood abilities, and Incantation Talents, which modify incantations.

I'll break it down into levels.

5th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Draining Tentacles: Whenever a Bloody Tentacle hits an opponent the Vanguard gains 5 soul power
• Black Blood Talent: Empowering Waves: The Vanguard's Blood Wave, Bloody Tidal Wave and Bloody Tsunami grant soul power as if they were incantations.
• Incantation Talent: Maddening Terror: Whenever a subject fails a saving throw against a terror incantation he gains a single madness token.

Ah, so soul power is gained from incantations. Okay. Hard to say anything here since soul power so far only has one use in the class features and no incantations are up.

8th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Rapid Reach: Bloody Tentacle's reach ability only takes a standard action to use.
• Black Blood Talent: Nidhogg: The Vanguard grows black draconic wings made of blood which grants a fly speed equal to double his base land speed with good maneuverability.
• Incantation Talent: Gate of Terror: Whenever a subject fails a saving throw against a Terror Incantation the Vanguard can teleport to the subject as a move action if the subject is within medium range.

Rapid reach probably won't change anything since the tentacles don't really have any uses for move actions.

Flight is always good. Double land speed with good maneuverability is really good--especially permanently.

Gate of terror is very cool. You may want to explain that a medium range is 100 feet + 10 feet per incanter level to make sure there's no confusion.

11th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Durable Tentacles: All Tentacles created by this Vanguard have double their normal fast healing and damage reduction.
• Black Blood Talent: Bloody Bastion: While Bloody Bulwark is active the Vanguard converts one quarter of the damage he takes into non lethal damage. If the Vanguard becomes immune to non lethal damage this bypasses that immunity.
• Incantation Talent: Vampiric Regeneration: After using a Vampiric Incantation the Vanguard recovers 2 hit points per incantation level and gains fast healing equal to his charisma modifier for a number of rounds equal to the incantation level. This fast healing stacks with other forms of fast healing.

Durable tentacles is okay. More hit points at the end of the fight means more healing for the vanguard and also means more battlefield control. Alright.

Bloody bastion is very strong. A good measure at 11th level.

Only after using a vampiric incantation, so it might be limited, though, again, no incantations up limits the critique.

14th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Rapid Growth: Summoning a Bloody Tentacle is now a move action instead of a standard action.
• Black Blood Talent: Brisk Blood: Activating Bloody Bulwark is a free action now instead of swift. In addition, the Vanguard's Maddening Scream ability doesn't require an action to initiate and can be down reactively whenever the Vanguard takes damage even if the Vanguard could normally not take actions. The Vanguard can still chose wether or not to activate the ability and it can still only be used once per round.
• Incantation Talent: Quicken Incantation: Four times per day the Vanguard can use any incantation he has available to use as a swift action instead of its normal activation time.

Rapid growth is good. You could also make it either a move action or a standard action to allow movement and then summoning still.

Brisk blood is good. Action economy is important and this is just enough of a change to mean something at 14th level without being too strong.

Incantation stuff.

17th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Powerful Tentacles: All Bloody Tentacles gain +8 strength and negate freedom of movement on any opponent whom they grapple with.
• Black Blood Talent: Eroding Madness: Whenever a subject is hit with Bloody Wave, Bloody Tidal Wave or Bloody Tsunami the Vanguard can attempt to dispel any spell or magic item that protects against mind affecting abilities such as mindblank or a third eye of concealing. The Incanter uses his incanter level in place of caster level for the check and he also gains a +4 bonus on the dispel check. If a magic item is dispelled it is simply suppressed for 1d4 rounds.
• Incantation Talent: Maddening Magic: Whenever a creature fails a saving throw against an incatation he gains a Madness Token with no saving throw to resist. Each incantation can only inflict a maximum of one Madness Token on each creature. Thus if a creature failed two will saves against Waning Willpower he would only take one Madness Token. However, if the subject passed the first and second save but failed the third he would still gain a madness token.

Powerful tentacles is very good. A great choice.

Eroding madness is also good...especially the mind-affecting protections part.

Maddening magic seems okay, though probably not as good as the first two.

20th Level

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• Tentacle Talent: Double Tentacle: Whenever the Vanguard summons a Bloody Tentacle another Bloody Tentacle with the same statistics is summoned Adjacent to the original.
• Black Blood Talent: Bloody Blades: Black Ichor now causes all creatures who fail the save to gain 2 madness tokens instead of one.
• Incantation Talent: Dual Incantation: Once per encounter the Vanguard can activate two incantations with the same activation time with the same action. These incantations are not treated as if being expended.

Double tentacle is really shiny.

Bloody blades is a quick way to kill someone after a bloody wave with eroding madness. Effective. Nice.

Dual incantation seems good, though it's hard to say, as with the rest.

Blood Tidal Wave: (Su) At 7th level the Vanguard can conjure a wider and more devastating blast of black blood as a standard action. This ability functions the same as Blood Wave except the Vanguard can conjure a line of black blood 15ft wide, 10ft high and 100ft long, the wave deals 4d6+charisma modifier damage, the bull rush check DC is (20 + Charisma modifier) and creatures need to make a will save or gain two madness tokens.

In addition, the Vanguard only needs to use a move action to activate his Blood Wave class feature.

Nice upgrade and usable in the same round as bloody wave. Cool.

Black Thorn Wall: (Su) At 8th level the Vanguard's blood tentacles gain the ability to create walls of black thorns made of black blood. In order to activate this ability two tentacles must spend full round actions and must sacrifice hit points equal to the distance between the two tentacles divided by 5 (Round up). Then a mass of thorns formed of black blood shoot out between the two tentacles and form a wall. Treat this wall as if it was created by a wall of thorns spell with a width of one foot and a height of 5ft if the tentacles are medium size, 10ft if the tentacles are large size and 15ft if the tentacles are huge or bigger. Any creature damaged by these thorns gains one madness token with no saving throw to resist. Any creature in the path of the wall as it is being created gets a reflex save (DC: 10+1/2 incanter level+charisma modifier) to move to one side of the wall or the other.

Very cool.

Maddening Screams: (Su) At ninth level the Vanguard can channel madness into his own voice. A number of times per day equal to 3 + his charisma modifier the Vanguard can release a horrible scream after taking hit point damage from an attack. As an immediate action he can create a high pitched sonic blast of madness which corrupts the minds of those nearby. Everyone within 30ft must make a will save or become confused for one round and gain one madness token. In addition those who fail the will save must make a fort save or take 1d6 damage per two class levels and gain another madness token. This is a sonic, mind affecting ability.

Nice. I like it.

Specialized Tentacles: Whenever the Vanguard creates a black tentacle he can choose one of the following specializations for the Tentacle. In addition, all tentacles now have current and maximum hit points equal to four times the hit points sacrificed by the Vanguard.

Corrupter Tentacle: If the tentacle grapples a subject for at least one round than each additional round the subject is grappled he gains a madness token if he fails a will save (DC 10 + 1/2 incanter level + charisma modifier).

Constrictor Tentacle: Every time the tentacle successfully grapples an opponent it takes 2d6+ the vanguard's charisma modifier damage. In addition the tentacle gains a +6 bonus on grapple checks.

Bulwark Tentacle: Whenever this tentacle takes damage from any source the source takes half the damage it inflicted to the tentacle. A will save halves this damage. The damage inflicted by this ability is empathic in nature and ignores immunities, regeneration, and similar abilities.

Shield Tentacles: A shield tentacle can once per round as an immediate action redirect an attack made against a creature who is adjacent to it to the tentacle itself. Treat the tentacle as the new target for all intensive purposes.

Constrictor tentacle makes it sound like grappling hurts the tentacle, not the grappled opponent. Wording issue.

Is the DC of bulwark tentacle the same as the rest of these abilities (10 + 1/2 incanter level + Cha modifier)?

Puppet: (Su) At 12th level the Vanguard can take control of those who have succumb to madness. At will as a standard action the Vanguard can dominate (As dominate monster) a creature who has gone insane from madness tokens. The creature gets no saving throw to resist this effect. The domination puts the subject directly under the control of the Vanguard and he can act normally. The domination also lets the subject last longer under the corrosive nature of the black blood and the subject dies after a day instead of after 10 minutes. The Vanguard can only have a number of subjects dominated by this ability equal to half his charisma modifier (Minimum 1).

Cool stuff. I like it.

Mad Whispers: (Su) Insane whispers flood the minds of creatures who try to influence the Vanguard's mind. Any creature who uses a mind affecting ability on the Vanguard instantly gains a madness token (No saving throw to resist) and takes 1d4 wisdom damage. Vanguards are immune other Vanguard's use of this ability.

Flavorful.

Blood Tsunami: (Su) A 13th level Vanguard can flood the area around him with a torrent of black blood. As a full round action the vanguard creates a torrent of black blood hitting all creatures within 30ft of him with a wave of gushing madness. This ability functions as blood wave except it hits all in a 30ft burst around him and deals 8d6 + double the Vanguard's charisma modifier to those hit. In addition the ability causes subject to make a will save or gain 3 madness tokens.

In addition, the Vanguard's Blood Wave ability only requires a swift action and the Vanguards Blood Tidal Wave ability only requires a move action.

Very nice. Strong and a quick way to build madness tokens on multiple targets. Good stuff.

Mad Blood: At 15th level the Vanguard can delve far deeper into the madness of the Black Blood than he could before. A number of times per day as indicated on the table above the Vanguard can become a true avatar of madness. As a free action the Vanguard can enhance his black blood into mad blood which grants him incredibly powerful abilities for one minute. While his blood is enhanced he gains the following abilities.

• All of his melee attacks are treated as if enhanced by his Black Ichor class ability.
• He gains DR 10/- Which stacks with all other forms of DR he has.
• He gains +4 Strength, +4 Con.
• He gains Fast Healing 15
• His Black Tentacle ability can be activated as a swift action and doesn't need to consume a madness token.
• Whenever a subject fails a saving throw against gaining a madness token he must make another will save or gain another madness token. This ability can not trigger itself.
• Blood Wave, Blood Tidal Wave, Blood Tsunami all have their area of effects doubled.

After the duration of this ability runs out the Vanguard becomes insane for one minute. This insanity can not be removed or prevented until the one minute duration has expired.

Very cool. Sufficient limits. If someone has the rapid growth talent, maybe it should be a free action to summon a tentacle (limit still one per round)?

Madness Symphony: (Su) Once every six rounds while in Mad Blood form the Vanguard can issue a horrible scream that renders creatures insane. As a full round action the Vanguard causes all creatures within 100ft to make a will save or be confused for one round and gain a madness token. If they fail the save they must make another save or have the confusion last another round and gain another madness token. If they fail that save they must make another, etc. This effect continues until the subject makes a will save. This is a Sonic Mind Affecting ability.

I assume the DC is 10 + 1/2 incanter level + Cha modifier?

I like it.

Mad Blood Spear: (Su) When in Mad Blood Form the Vanguard's Bloody Slicer ability has its range extended to medium range (100ft + 10ft/incanter level). In addition, while in Mad Blood Form the Vanguard can launch one Bloody Slicer as a free action once per round at a target within range. This free Bloody Slicer only inflicts one madness token if the subject fails the saving throw.

Alright. Progression continues.

Black Forest: (Su) A 19th level Vanguard can surround himself with a wall of thorns create from the Black Blood. This wall of thorns travels with him in a 15ft radius and can be summoned or dismissed as a swift action. All creatures in the area must make a tumble check (DC 30) at the beginning of their turn or when they enter the area or take 10 points of piercing damage and if damaged they must make a will save or gain a madness token.

This wall of thorns also makes it more difficult to attack the Vangaurd and grants him a +5 deflection bonus to ac (+10 against ranged attacks and ranged touch spells).

Does this otherwise function as the spell?

This is good. Allies can be hit, so the vanguard has to be careful, but if the vanguard's doing his job and going up to the front lines, he shouldn't have to worry about that.

Torrent of Madness: (Su) Once per week the Vanguard can summon a truly terrible amount of black blood from his body. This ability functions as Bloody Tsunami except as follows. The radius of the ability is 60ft and the damage is doubled. In addition the wave grows when it inflicts madness upon creatures. For each creature with an intelligence score higher than 3 that fails the saving throw against this ability radius increases by 10ft, this can cause it to keep growing until it stops having enough fuel or until it reaches a maximum radius of 5 miles. This ability inflicts 6 madness tokens on all who fail their saving throw. If a creature dies from this ability it is instead animated with the madness of the black blood. After the wave has subsided those creatures slain by this ability are restored to full hit points and rendered insane as if by madness tokens. These subjects however, do not die after 10 minutes and only die after a week. This ability also eats away at magical protection against mind affecting abilities. If a creature is hit with this ability and has a spell such as mind blank which protects against mind affecting abilities the spell is dispelled, he he has an item that grants such immunity or protection the item is suppressed for 1d4 rounds. This is a mind affecting ability.

Does the dispel effect happen before the damage and madness tokens and all that or after (thereby allowing mind blank and co. to block the effects of this but not future attacks)?

I think that's all I've got. Overall, strong theme. Several of the talents seem just flat-out better than others of the same level, but it'll likely be impossible to balance perfectly there. As long as they're roughly close, it'll be good. Once incantations are up, the class will have a lot going for it, but we'll just have to see what they do before commenting on them or the talents related to them. Make sure you define soul power when you put out incantations.

[Xhosant]

Black Blood Vanguard is very well made, my only concern, knowing your inspiration, is that Charisma should be far from a key statistic.

Now, if you also call Crona's gender right, it gets a vote

[Silva Stormrage]

Black Blood Vanguard is very well made, my only concern, knowing your inspiration, is that Charisma should be far from a key statistic.

Now, if you also call Crona's gender right, it gets a vote

I believe in the English Dub it was confirmed that Chrona was a male, just because English doesn't have gender neutral pronouns. I think the author stated that he doesn't care and won't reveal Chrona's gender XD. Hope I can still get a vote regardless though

Also ya, Charisma isn't very Chrona like but neither is wisdom or intelligence . I would prefer to just have Soul Eater inspire me and not shackle me and in this case I would prefer the class to have an important mental attribute.

[inuyasha]

I hope I can finish, Im getting surgery on friday and will be recovering :p gotta get as much as i can done tonight and tomorrow :(

[Temotei]

I hope I can finish, Im getting surgery on friday and will be recovering :p gotta get as much as i can done tonight and tomorrow :(

Oh. Good luck. It's not serious, I hope?

[inuyasha]

Oh. Good luck. It's not serious, I hope?

I was born with cerebral palsey.

Simple talk: My legs suuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk! XD

This will be helping a lot (not a cure, but a major help) and is also a very very intense surgery, so I will be recovering for a while :)

[Temotei]

I was born with cerebral palsey.

Simple talk: My legs suuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk! XD

This will be helping a lot (not a cure, but a major help) and is also a very very intense surgery, so I will be recovering for a while :)

One of my favorite professors has cerebral palsy. She also teaches on the top floor of the Humanities building. Fun lady.

Again, good luck. I hope you finish.

[Silva Stormrage]

Black Blood Vanguard Critique:

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No way. Someone named as a black blood vanguard has black blood? Whaaaaat?



Very cool.



Good setup. Solid, clean fluff. I'm not really sure what the first part of "Other Classes" means, though. "Vanguard's love to travel enchanters as they can support him..." doesn't really make sense to me.



Pretty standard. Got Hide and Move Silently, too, which is cool.



Tower shield proficiency. Nice.



Lots of new terms. Moving on.



Sounds good, I think.



So...what's soul power? How do you get it?

Looks fine, otherwise.



Cool. Variety is nice.



More damage reduction is good. Tank tank tank tank.



It seems like reach would be an ability available after a successful grapple (not requiring an action, but possibly releasing the grapple to move it to the edge of its reach. I think that's all I have to say here.



Cool. Big effect, but creatures get checks to resist the worst of it, so it seems fine. The only weird part of this for me is bludgeoning damage, but whatevs.



I'll break it down into levels.



Ah, so soul power is gained from incantations. Okay. Hard to say anything here since soul power so far only has one use in the class features and no incantations are up.



Rapid reach probably won't change anything since the tentacles don't really have any uses for move actions.

Flight is always good. Double land speed with good maneuverability is really good--especially permanently.

Gate of terror is very cool. You may want to explain that a medium range is 100 feet + 10 feet per incanter level to make sure there's no confusion.



Durable tentacles is okay. More hit points at the end of the fight means more healing for the vanguard and also means more battlefield control. Alright.

Bloody bastion is very strong. A good measure at 11th level.

Only after using a vampiric incantation, so it might be limited, though, again, no incantations up limits the critique.



Rapid growth is good. You could also make it either a move action or a standard action to allow movement and then summoning still.

Brisk blood is good. Action economy is important and this is just enough of a change to mean something at 14th level without being too strong.

Incantation stuff.



Powerful tentacles is very good. A great choice.

Eroding madness is also good...especially the mind-affecting protections part.

Maddening magic seems okay, though probably not as good as the first two.



Double tentacle is really shiny.

Bloody blades is a quick way to kill someone after a bloody wave with eroding madness. Effective. Nice.

Dual incantation seems good, though it's hard to say, as with the rest.



Nice upgrade and usable in the same round as bloody wave. Cool.



Very cool.



Nice. I like it.



Constrictor tentacle makes it sound like grappling hurts the tentacle, not the grappled opponent. Wording issue.

Is the DC of bulwark tentacle the same as the rest of these abilities (10 + 1/2 incanter level + Cha modifier)?



Cool stuff. I like it.



Flavorful.



Very nice. Strong and a quick way to build madness tokens on multiple targets. Good stuff.



Very cool. Sufficient limits. If someone has the rapid growth talent, maybe it should be a free action to summon a tentacle (limit still one per round)?



I assume the DC is 10 + 1/2 incanter level + Cha modifier?

I like it.



Alright. Progression continues.



Does this otherwise function as the spell?

This is good. Allies can be hit, so the vanguard has to be careful, but if the vanguard's doing his job and going up to the front lines, he shouldn't have to worry about that.



Does the dispel effect happen before the damage and madness tokens and all that or after (thereby allowing mind blank and co. to block the effects of this but not future attacks)?

I think that's all I've got. Overall, strong theme. Several of the talents seem just flat-out better than others of the same level, but it'll likely be impossible to balance perfectly there. As long as they're roughly close, it'll be good. Once incantations are up, the class will have a lot going for it, but we'll just have to see what they do before commenting on them or the talents related to them. Make sure you define soul power when you put out incantations.

I added incantations on the actual post (I had to delete the original post and repost to get more space. I should of reserved a post or two below the original post >.>). The terror discipline is the only one that I have to do now.

Ya the quote is a bit redundant

The other class bit was a typo. It was missing a "with" in that line.

Reach now needs a grapple check to use it on enemies. I figured that with willing creatures they could just auto fail the grapple so they still don't need one. (Still need a will save though).

Blood Wave: What damage type would you suggest other than bludgeoning? Most wave type spells I found did bludgeoning unless they were like walls of lava or acid or something.

Talents:
8th: Rapid Reach is actually really useful. It lets the tentacles ready an action to reach.
Flight: I reduced this one to only base land speed since I was basing it off of warlock's flight.


Mad Blood: For Rapid Growth I like the idea that you could choose to summon 3 tentacles if you wish (1 swift and 2 moves). I tend to not like giving too many free action abilities that aren't transformations.

Madness Symphony: Yes that is the DC. Fixed

Black Forest: No it is not exactly like wall of thorns. I clarified this as wall of thorns permanently following him would be too strong as you really can't attack or see through one of those.

Torrent of Madness: The dispel effect occurs before the save.


Thank you for the review, I was aiming for high tier 3, being able to contribute in a party with a well played sorcerer or wizard.

@Inuyasha I hope your surgery goes well and also hope you can finish your class.

[Temotei]

Blood Wave: What damage type would you suggest other than bludgeoning? Most wave type spells I found did bludgeoning unless they were like walls of lava or acid or something.

Not really sure. It just feels weird to me, but it's desirable over slashing or piercing damage, so I guess it's good.

Talents:
8th: Rapid Reach is actually really useful. It lets the tentacles ready an action to reach.

Makes sense.

Torrent of Madness: The dispel effect occurs before the save.

Yeah, that part was unclear. I thought that was what was intended, but asking can't hurt.

Thank you for the review, I was aiming for high tier 3, being able to contribute in a party with a well played sorcerer or wizard.

No problem.

Tier 3 seems about right to me. If Morph ever gets not busy, maybe he'll tier it officially in his compendium.

[sirpercival]

I'm not sure what to do about the phobia progression. I feel like you don't get enough, especially because I keep thinking of new ones to add... but I had wanted to end with 13 of them, for obvious reasons. Thoughts?

[Xhosant]

Story of my homebrew :P

You have to balance between a huge, overcrowded class and leaving awesome stuff out. But if it's about a number, you can just aim higher, only 653 to go

[sirpercival]

Story of my homebrew :P

You have to balance between a huge, overcrowded class and leaving awesome stuff out. But if it's about a number, you can just aim higher, only 653 to go

Haha! Yeah, maybe :D

But seriously, the real question is whether that number of phobias seems an appropriate power level. I want the class to be viable, hopefully tier 3.

[Pyromancer999]

Could I get some feedback on my entry please? I know it's unfinished, but it's at a pretty good stage right now to at least correct stuff if there's something wrong with it.

[Temotei]

Could I get some feedback on my entry please? I know it's unfinished, but it's at a pretty good stage right now to at least correct stuff if there's something wrong with it.

Eventually. I'm moving more slowly now.

[Cheesy74]

So the fury's in a super-preliminary stage but I like the chassis I've set up. My main question for the critics at this stage is whether it would be too powerful to also give this class maneuvers? He's got similar abilities to a crusader, but I feel like his abilities are significantly stronger than the usual crusader-tank setup.

My other thought is that, if not maneuvers, he should have some way to customize his progression. I hate classes that build statically. My initial thought is three "paths" of how insanity will affect you - fast healing/regeneration, DR/damage reflection, or auras of some sort (still brainstorming on this), but I want to hear from the audience.

EDIT: Oh, and I hate the name. Other ideas are more than welcome.

[Xhosant]

The Arborist is going online any minute now, still needs some detais such as saves and skill points/class skills and the flowers (read:spells), but it should be ready for a critique. Of note is one flower that will usually be used on self:

Wis bonus to AC so long as you get your dex bonus, but auto-fail concentration checks, can't take 10 or 20

With that, the chassis should be complete.