Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Black Mage]

*If the party barbarian triggers a trap of Evard's Black Tentacles, I can't sit back with the rest of the party drinking tea, while we wait for the trap duration to run out
**Calculating that there is no way for the barbarian to possibly die from this is no excuse

*** Its likely, if not expected, that the DM will alter the trap to make it more lethal, just to make the rest of the party look bad.

[Unbeknownst]

*I am not aloud to murder people while drinking tea.
**I can't murder people then have tea either.

[jindra34]

*I am not aloud to murder people while drinking tea.
**I can't murder people then have tea either.

***Nor may I murder people with tea. Or the makings for tea.

[LordHavelock]

*I am not aloud to murder people while drinking tea.
**I can't murder people then have tea either.

I disagree.

[enderlord99]

*I am not aloud to murder people while drinking tea.
**I can't murder people then have tea either.

***Nor may I murder people with tea. Or the makings for tea.

****This includes teaspoons
*****...and teacups.

[Techwarrior]

My magic-user is not allowed to one-shot a high-level assassin without looking up from his work as a Swift action: whether that be crafting items, studying scrolls/tomes/what have you, drinking tea, or casting a spell with a looong casting time.

Weapon-like spells no longer gain damage from any source other than the spell itself, rules be damned.

Weapon-like spells are no longer allowed to critically hit, unless they're directed at my character.

[Socratov]

...Shouldn't that be the other way around?

both actually, basically any instance of hentai and DnD should be separated by at least 5 hours

ahem...

**When receiving Assassins I should remember that for assassinsthe same rules apply as for BBEG's during their monologue. i have to let them have at least 1 round to attack me. (death attacks excluded)

[demigodus]

both actually, basically any instance of hentai and DnD should be separated by at least 5 hours

ahem...

**When receiving Assassins I should remember that for assassinsthe same rules apply as for BBEG's during their monologue. i have to let them have at least 1 round to attack me. (death attacks excluded)

***This does not work the other way around. If I'm playing an assassin and I get spotted, I'm not still entitled to a full round of attacks.

[Socratov]

***This does not work the other way around. If I'm playing an assassin and I get spotted, I'm not still entitled to a full round of attacks.

****I will not complain against the DM that tis is unfair. I'm a PC and should like it.

[Kazyan]

My magic-user is not allowed to one-shot a high-level assassin without looking up from his work as a Swift action: whether that be crafting items, studying scrolls/tomes/what have you, drinking tea, or casting a spell with a looong casting time.

*A Barbarian is not allowed to one-shot a high-level assassin without looking up from his work as an AoO, whether that be sharpening his sword, learning to read, drinking tea, or foraging for food.

[Techwarrior]

*A Barbarian is not allowed to one-shot a high-level assassin without looking up from his work as an AoO, whether that be sharpening his sword, learning to read, drinking tea, or foraging for food.

The most disturbing part is that your barbarians are allowed to drink tea.

[Ksheep]

The most disturbing part is that your barbarians are allowed to drink tea.

Barbarians have a long and storied history involving tea. They find it helps relax them after a long days slaughter, and is rather lethal as a weapon to boot.

[toapat]

Barbarians have a long and storied history involving tea. They find it helps relax them after a long days slaughter, and is rather lethal as a weapon to boot.

the DC 43 fort save against becoming Badass english doesnt hurt either

[demigodus]

****I will not complain against the DM that tis is unfair. I'm a PC and should like it.

*****I also will not remember that I'm a wizard and can make myself immune to their existence
******If I do, I shall not rub it in their faces
*******I will not be surprised when they hurt me anyways, despite my immunities

[Alabenson]

My Wizard is no longer permitted to summon horrifically powerful monstrosities from beyond space and time for the purpose of running mundane errands.

[Incom]

My Wizard is no longer permitted to summon horrifically powerful monstrosities from beyond space and time for the purpose of running mundane errands.

**Small-scale magical errands are still mundane enough to count.
***Moderate-scale errands might be workable if you cut back on the "horrifically powerful" part.
****Why are you trusting some incomprehensible abomination with your most important tasks?
*****No longer allowed to summon such entities.

[Balmas]

My Wizard is no longer permitted to summon horrifically powerful monstrosities from beyond space and time for the purpose of running mundane errands.

**Nor am I allowed to become a horrifically powerful monstrosity in the name of terrifying people as I run mundane errands.

[Socratov]

My Wizard is no longer permitted to summon horrifically powerful monstrosities from beyond space and time for the purpose of running mundane errands.

**If i want something done I should find myself a couple of PC's

[Arcane_Snowman]

* Assembling the worlds first Mariachi Band is no longer an acceptable motivation for my Abyssal Exalted.

[Arbane]

* Assembling the worlds first Mariachi Band is no longer an acceptable motivation for my Abyssal Exalted.

* Basing an Abyssal Perfect Circle on Dethklok is out of the questions.

[Wookieetank]

**If i want something done I should find myself a couple of PC's

***I can not then procede to take over DMing at the point where PC's decided to take on tasks for me.

[Adoendithas]

***I can not then procede to take over DMing at the point where PC's decided to take on tasks for me.

**** I may not introduce my PC as "Gandalf the Gray, Giver of Random Low-Level Quests."

[demigodus]

My Wizard is no longer permitted to summon horrifically powerful monstrosities from beyond space and time for the purpose of running mundane errands.

**I especially may not do this as a True Namer
***No, not even if I had hit level 20 with him
****Why did you play a True Namer for 20 levels anyways? Do you hate ice cream?

[Rockphed]

**** I may not introduce my PC as "Gandalf the Gray, Giver of Random Low-Level Quests."

***** Nor may I wear rainbow clothing and give quests based on double entendres.
****** Red clothing and quests based on wheelless modes of transport are right out.
******* Also claiming to be the founder of Virginia.
******** Or any body of water.
********* "Gandalf the Fey" might work. If I am actually alergic to iron.

[Wookieetank]

*When in doubt as a bard, the proper response is not more cowbell.
**No, not even then.
***In fact cows no longer exists in this setting.
*Creating a Christopher Walken expy in response to the above will result in objects thrown at me.

[Craft (Cheese)]

**** I may not introduce my PC as "Gandalf the Gray, Giver of Random Low-Level Quests."

***** I may not then proceed to give out horrifically dangerous and impossible tasks, like sending a 1st-level commoner into the Abyss to slay Demogorgon.

[Alabenson]

"Does not trust wheels" is not a real flaw and I am to remember this.

[Astral Avenger]

*I may no longer create mildly insane characters
**Said mildly crazy characters cannot gain magical powers from head trauma unlocking magical genetics
***I may most certainly not begin to worship a rock that hit said characters head as the god known as James
****Under no circumstances am I to derail the plot in order to establish a Church of James.
*****Especially if its successful, and the aforementioned character starts to acquire followers.

*I may not push the barbarian down four flights of stairs. This is generally considered impolite.
**Casting defensive buffs beforehand does not counter act the pushing down the stairs act.
***I am not to complain when my character ends up with broken legs.

****Pushing the barbarian down the stairs is perfectly acceptable if he is a follower of the Church of James.

[Flame9006]

* I May Not Kill An Enemy By Throwing A Ferret At Them
** This Goes Double If Said Ferret Is A Low Level Familiar

[Afool]

* I May Not Kill An Enemy By Throwing A Ferret At Them
** This Goes Double If Said Ferret Is A Low Level Familiar

***Triple If Said Ferret Also Follows The Church Of James.