LGBTAitp 34: <3!!

[Asta Kask]

Ah. I don't know much about Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I've heard of it once or twice. That stinks. What is it about spring and winter, does science know?

The sudden shift in day length affects the melatonin system. That's the current theory anyway. It's much rarer closer to the equator, where the shift isn't so dramatic.

[Lycunadari]

Cute. Is it yours?

And thanks, I'll get better. It's just that when spring turns into summer, that's not a great time for me.

She was. She liked weird places. She also liked sleeping in my accordion case while I was practising. I sometimes still look under my bed instinctively to see if she sleeps there... that was her favourite place.

Then let's hope that summer comes soon so you can feel better.

[angrymudcrab]

But on the plus side, they just want to get in your pants.

You know, that expression never made any sense to me. I mean, unless your partner is literally going to start wearing your pants the expression breaks down completely. Going with the colloquial sense, your partner would still want to get in your pants even after the pants are removed and ultimately both people end up ignoring the pants for a while. Languages are weird.

[Castaras]

Well if you're in their pants (assuming the british definition of pants, not the american which is much less amusing) then you're going to be close enough to feel fun things.

Or you're going to be wearing their underwear, which is hilarious for both.

Either way, win.

[Heliomance]

They just want to get into your pants.

Uh... the girl in question is like 12

[Karen Lynn]

LUCY!

*pounces*

I like your new avvie!

Oh, and Heliomance's!

[Lycunadari]

Eeek! *is pounced* *pokes* *gives flower*

Musashi made them – she is very talented!

[Coidzor]

Uh... the girl in question is like 12

Ah. I was thinking 13 or 14 year old boy, 15 tops.

You know, that expression never made any sense to me. I mean, unless your partner is literally going to start wearing your pants the expression breaks down completely. Going with the colloquial sense, your partner would still want to get in your pants even after the pants are removed and ultimately both people end up ignoring the pants for a while. Languages are weird.

I can't really explain this fully without getting graphic, sadly. It's about 50-50 whether one party will actually end up wearing the other person's pants at some point given a liaison of sufficient length besides.

Suffice to say, it doesn't make much sense for it to be uttered once one has already gotten into the other person's pants or disrobed each other and it is generally not used after the point of realization, at least, not until after the encounter as a whole has ended.

Besides, the context is obvious that one wants to get into someone else's pants to do something or to interact with the contents of said pants.

Well if you're in their pants (assuming the british definition of pants, not the american which is much less amusing) then you're going to be close enough to feel fun things.

It's essentially the same thing in practice, I'm given to understand, and my experience bears this out.

Or you're going to be wearing their underwear, which is hilarious for both.

I don't think I've ever slept with anyone whose underwear wouldn't get torn up like Bruce Banner's shorts should. :/ Granted, you can't really take my word for it as I couldn't really admit it if I had anyway.

Musashi made them – she is very talented!

Good on yer, Musashi! Verra Nice.

[Kindablue]

Ah. I was thinking 13 or 14 year old boy, 15 tops.

I read it in the voice of a middle aged black woman from Alabama.

[Mono Vertigo]

Good on yer, Musashi! Verra Nice.

Public recognition goes against the concept of my current avatar I'm a forgettable fate ninja godamnit
I mean

[Lentrax]

Good news! My wife still loves me.

Her times pie t alone in our room wasn't to get away from me. I've been fighting over this for awhile now, but we both came out with our problems, and can hopefully work to a better future.

Guess I didn't need combustible lemons after all...

[noparlpf]

The sudden shift in day length affects the melatonin system. That's the current theory anyway. It's much rarer closer to the equator, where the shift isn't so dramatic.

Makes some sense. I figured it would be something like that.
Wonder if that also affects my sleep or if it is just the light coming in earlier waking me up...anyway I'm getting a sleep study when I find a place to do it.

Ah. I was thinking 13 or 14 year old boy, 15 tops.

I was thinking like, twelve- or thirteen-year-old boy. Guess girl works too.

Public recognition goes against the concept of my current avatar I'm a forgettable fate ninja godamnit
I mean

I forgot to comment, I like it too. But I'll forget it now if that's what's supposed to be happening.

[Mono Vertigo]

Good news! My wife still loves me.

Her times pie t alone in our room wasn't to get away from me. I've been fighting over this for awhile now, but we both came out with our problems, and can hopefully work to a better future.

Guess I didn't need combustible lemons after all...

Good news all around! Glad for you.

[Coidzor]

Public recognition goes against the concept of my current avatar I'm a forgettable fate ninja godamnit
I mean

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That reminds me, are all three of those "Y" shapes on the poncho designs on the ponch or are they to denote the shape and contour underneath the poncho? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to read that as an indication of breasts and armpit indentations/curvature/topography or as stitching.

I read it in the voice of a middle aged black woman from Alabama.

I should read things in that voice more often. Sadly I have less references for that than I really should.

Lentrax: Glad to hear that there's no big brouhaha then.

[KenderWizard]

Aaaaand now the thread is going too fast again!

Hi ILuvRainbows!
I think it could help you to think or talk through these things in a deliberate way. That could be writing out your own "story" with feelings, or writing down how you feel about your gender every night for a month, or talking to a counsellor, or a trustworthy friend. When you make a choice, think about why you made that choice.

You might also like to explore some links (Astrella's good for them!) and find some people writing about their gender, and see what clicks with you. Read about trans stuff and gender stuff.

Remember, whatever you end up identifying as, that's fine. There are lots of non-girly women, or selectively-girly women, and the idea of a certain style or colour being "girly" is basically arbitrary anyway. There are lots of genderfluid people, or agendered people, who don't conform to a strict gender binary, because there isn't one, not the way society tells us there is. There are lots of trans men, some who knew since they were children and some who came to know themselves later in life. All of these people are making valid choices and expressing their identity in legitimate ways, and so are you.

(Hope you're feeling better, Kender!)

Kender, hope you are feeling better & the outfits look good, though I was bit surprised as when I picture you I remember that photo of you as Thor, so I think of you with long blond hair - bit of a change there

Thank you, I am! I'm also back to slowly running, and I had my first counselling session in a year today! I can't stay with the counseller because she's only in to cover the extra demand during exams, but she's going to set me up with a permanent person so I can go every few weeks for a few months.

Also, yeah, I cut all my hair off and dyed it black! This is the shortest it's ever been! It grows pretty fast. I do miss my long blonde Thor hair, but I think short hair works better for me, and it's so easy to look after. So now I need to get a wig for cosplaying Thor!

Linky for the Kenderhive and everyone else.

Thank you! That's really useful, I will definitely be sharing this when I'm talking about this stuff to people and they ask about intersectionality!

[SiuiS]

Protesting incorrect spelling. The a is important, dammit! It changes the meaning!

A pedophile is, etymologically, someone sexually attracted to feet. It needs the a in it.

There's an A in it?
Luv, we're american. We don't have one.

Besides, you all say "pee-do" anyway. So confusing!

I missed you all so much *hugs and cake for those who like them*

Yes! Missing was had.

Hm, I had something else to write, what was it? *thinkthinkthink* Ah, yes. My mother confused me for my brother (who is in Australia, so not likely to show up. ) last week. I was sitting in the kitchen, she comes in, looks confused, then says: "For a moment I thought [brother's name] is sitting there!" And I hadn't even tried too hard to look androgynous, because we were at my grandparents'. I just had my hair parted in the middle and in a low ponytail (like my brother always has his hair) and wore a baggy t-shirt.

Cool!

Also, your avatar! My gosh!

Actually, the a can prevent confusion, but pedophilia is etymologically someone attracted to young boys (ped(o)-, originally the Greek pais (genitive paidos). In English the a was added later, and the original spelling followed the French pédophile (in short, we borrowed this Greek word from Latin).


Following, say, pedicure, a foot fetishist would be a pediphile. We use the o in pedo- and the i in pedi- when they come before a consonant. So the only real issue is when you have the prefix before a vowel. So, ped(i/o)phile is not problematic. Pederast, however, is.


Hooray for etymologies!

er, yeah. This.

SaintRidley mentioned pedo/pedi, but I'll also add that there is also ped/pod (as in, pediatrician vs podiatrist). Also, it's not a+e, it's æ, which is its own letter. So saying "the a is important" is a bit like saying "the second (or first) n is important" to someone who used an N instead of an M. It's not n+n, it's m.

Letters such as æ and œ have been pushed off of the language because of how rare they are. I can see the logic in that, personally.

Glad to be back! Had a hell of a week, it will be nice to see you guys again. Had the French same-sex marriage and adoption bill passed yet when the website stopped working? Because it totally has, almost a week ago.

yay for bills!

And aye, diphthongs work sufficiently for that. Just look at irish!
*giggles at using gaelig as an example of a language with understandable grammar*

To be replaced, at least in British English, by the two letters in most cases. We still say encyclopaedia, for instance. Or manoeuvre.

I'll concede to SaintRidley's thorough exploration of the etymology, but I'm not giving you that point :P

Say, or write?
How does one phonate Manoeuvre differently than Maneuvre?
And yes, those may be terrible. Maneuvre and Bureaucracy are those words I always quintuple guess myself on and end up getting wrong.

Not sure when I'll ahve the neergy to catch up on five pages, so see you folks later~!

[Lorsa]

Argh, argh... the forum is back up and this thread has moved on some amazing amount of pages since I was here last. And I hardly have time to write anything either!

I'll offer some hugs for anyone who wants. There are too few hugs in general in the world I believe. It seems not all people like them.

It was great seeing some lovely pictures of KenderWizard, Heliomance and our own gymnastics master (cat pictures are always welcome too). Although I don't think I have seen a picture of Helio before so not sure which one is her.

I'm sorry to hear about all the depression and dysphoria and whatnot. It sucks.

Also, welcome new person! Great name! Who doesn't love rainbows? *pushes away the urge to describe them with physics terms*

Hopefully talking to people here will help you clear out your issues and thoughts about yourself. If not, it's still a great place to be (the best people on this forum). I think you've already gotten plenty of good advice and things to consider. My personal view is that (my own) gender really doesn't matter. I am a person, with certain character traits and identifying as a gender has very little to do with any of that. It is very convenient when moving about in society (unfortunately) and I happen to have a male body which is something I don't mind. What I do mind is all the stuff society seem to assosciate with gender that I don't think has anything to do with it. Some people feel more strongly one way or the other, being male or female or both or neither. In the end only you know how you feel.

EDIT: Also, forgot to mention. I was just at a large dinner-type party and talked to a girl who is into jousting and medieval fighting. She told me not only is there Swedish championship in jousting fairly soon fairly close to where I live, but there's also a group that meets weekly training how to fight with swords that you can join. How awesome is that?!?! I wish I'd known sooner. Can't be sure it'll be great or work out or whatnot but checking it out is definitely something I need to do.

[Asta Kask]

Although I don't think I have seen a picture of Helio before so not sure which one is her.

Just go with the hottest one.

[Lissou]

Cute story from Not Always Related.

[noparlpf]

Another survey:

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[Astrella]

Hm, I had something else to write, what was it? *thinkthinkthink* Ah, yes. My mother confused me for my brother (who is in Australia, so not likely to show up. ) last week. I was sitting in the kitchen, she comes in, looks confused, then says: "For a moment I thought [brother's name] is sitting there!" And I hadn't even tried too hard to look androgynous, because we were at my grandparents'. I just had my hair parted in the middle and in a low ponytail (like my brother always has his hair) and wore a baggy t-shirt.

That's pretty great.

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Dunno, I just felt that if that's who you are, why should I have a problem with it? You'll get enough crap from people you don't know, your family should be supportive. And I guess I've always felt protective of family (including you - don't take this this wrong way, I'm not saying you needed protecting as in 'weren't strong enough', I've just always been bigger than you and aware of the issues you had with other kids back at school - remember when I kicked some therfield boy who wouldn't let you off the train?!) I take the 'loyalty and sticking up for each other' part of friendship and family seriously, and the 'love everyone, no-one's worth less than anyone else' part of Christianity seriously. And you aren't just a sister, you're a friend as well - I know we have been closer at some times than others, but when we were little we used to play crazy made up games, and action man/barbie, and building duplo pyramids etc in between the yelling at each other! Whether you have a beard and a bow tie, or wear dresses (and look better in them than I do, damn you :P) doesn't change the fact that I love you.

I have the best family.

You do.

Well I sure hope you guys can help me. Lately I have just been feeling like there is something not right about me. I mean I had a hard time coming out as a lesbian 11 years ago but I did and felt better. I have had very few girlfriends since then (3 in total) and they all lasted only a few months. For so many years I work the clothes I knew my family wanted me to wear and that was more girly clothes although they all know I have the color pink but once I got a job that paid me enough that I could get my own clothes I bought them all from the men's section of the store and at first this really upset my mom but now she realizes I am just more comfortable that way. I also have always had short hair. Lately the clothes and short hair don't feel like enough. I mean I have never really felt "girly" but I have never felt quite like this either. I mean sometimes I feel more masculine and sometimes there is a bit of feminine there. I kind of feel trapped between both worlds and I don't like the way it makes me feel. If anyone has any advice or suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.

Well, Musashi and others have already given quite a bit of good advice so I'll try and cover a few things that they didn't yet.

It took me a while between the "I'm confused about this" and the "I'm a trans woman" realizations. Especially since it took me a while to place my dysphoria and understand it and to shake off some preconceptions and ideas that where holding me back. I think I might have some advice that could help you figure stuff out:

One thing that helped me a lot was reading about other people's experiences. Of course, don't feel like your feelings and experiences have to match someone's else's story, you are your own person after all. But for me it still helped cause sometimes there were this moments of recognition and that helped me place things a lot. So look around a bit for those I'd say. I'm sure people here wouldn't mind sharing their stories and I can probably dig up a bunch of links if you're interested.

Experiment a bit. Take small steps and see how comfortable you are with them and how much you like them. I pretty quickly asked my online friends if they could refer to me by female pronouns, and that felt pretty right for me. And it's easier to do those steps I feel online on like a forum or Irc or such. So you could mess around with gender-neutral or male pronouns a bit as experimentation. (and clothes and such fall under that as well.)

Just thinking about it a lot helped to. Mostly with, thinking about what I'd like to be / what I'd like to look like when I was older, that sorta started to make things piece together a bit. And trying to figure out what you'd want to be if there was nothing holding you back or no-one telling you not to.

It's a bit of a tricky journey finding out stuff about yourself with a lot of introspection, but I'm sure you can manage and we're here to help.

(I can also give you some links on different related subjects if you're interested.)

Good news! My wife still loves me.

Her times pie t alone in our room wasn't to get away from me. I've been fighting over this for awhile now, but we both came out with our problems, and can hopefully work to a better future.

Guess I didn't need combustible lemons after all...

Yay.

[Absol197]

She was. She liked weird places. She also liked sleeping in my accordion case while I was practising. I sometimes still look under my bed instinctively to see if she sleeps there... that was her favourite place.

Then let's hope that summer comes soon so you can feel better.

Hi Lucy! I've missed you *hugs* ! Also, your kitty sounds like she was a lot of fun. Good kitties never really leave you...

Cute story from Not Always Related.

D'awww !!

Another survey:

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What is this, I don't even?

Also, I'm starting a hormone count-down! 99 days until my consultation!


~Phoenix~

[TaiLiu]

Also, I'm starting a hormone count-down! 99 days until my consultation!

Exciting!

[Absol197]

Exciting!

Not really. 99 days is a long time, especially when you're waiting for literally a life-changing (for the better) event. I've never been any good at hurry up and wait...


~Phoenix~

[TaiLiu]

Not really. 99 days is a long time, especially when you're waiting for literally a life-changing (for the better) event. I've never been any good at hurry up and wait...

Ninety nine days from now, it will be the eighth of August. That's not too long a wait, especially when one compares it to the average lifetime of a human.

[Karen Lynn]

I've never been any good at hurry up and wait...

You'd make a terrible trucker, then. :P

[TaiLiu]

You'd make a terrible trucker, then. :P

Lots of waiting in the trucker life?

[Heliomance]

First Lena, then Lentrax (or was it Zorg?) and now Phoenix? Dammit, I want to start hormones already!

[Kittenwolf]

First Lena, then Lentrax (or was it Zorg?) and now Phoenix? Dammit, I want to start hormones already!

Terrifyingly I may not be far off either...

[Mystic Muse]

I think I'm a ways away. I still need to work on my voice, among other things. I could really use a speech coach or something.