1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[AnonymousPepper]

#435: "Okay, guys, I found this really great system I want to try out. It's called FATAL."

Thread over. You have simultaneously won and lost forever. Everybody can go home.

[Yael]

#435: "Okay, guys, I found this really great system I want to try out. It's called FATAL."

Guys, I have not enough cookies to give. I'll throw them at my screen now, expect them~~

436. As a DM. Bring your girlfriend to your sesions, she won't play though.

437. As a Player. Bring your girlfriend to your sesions, she won't play though.

438. As a DM. Argue your player (from #437) from bringing his girlfriend to the games.

439. As a Player. Argue your DM (from #436) from bringing his girlfriend to the games.

[Immabozo]

[QUOTE=UrashimaJamez;17546927~~[/QUOTE]
Is that the official throwing-cookies-at-you-from-the-other-side-of-the-interwebs symbol?

[Yael]

Is that the official throwing-cookies-at-you-from-the-other-side-of-the-interwebs symbol?

We'll pretend it is a symbol of true respect~~
When it actualy is a symbol of respect

[FidgetySquirrel]

440: Convince the DM that creatures with darkvision should TOTALLY be able to see within magical darkness. Then roll up a drow rogue optimized for stealth-based sneak attacks. Use whatever cheap tricks you can think of to maximize the number of times you or your fellow adventurers can create a darkness effect in a day. Laugh in the DMs face as you solo an NPC wizard... with a rogue.

[Ferronach]

440: Convince the DM that creatures with darkvision should TOTALLY be able to see within magical darkness. Then roll up a drow rogue optimized for stealth-based sneak attacks. Use whatever cheap tricks you can think of to maximize the number of times you or your fellow adventurers can create a darkness effect in a day. Laugh in the DMs face as you solo an NPC wizard... with a rogue.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA Please tell me that you have successfully pulled this off!

[nedz]

440: Convince the DM that creatures with darkvision should TOTALLY be able to see within magical darkness. Then roll up a drow rogue optimized for stealth-based sneak attacks. Use whatever cheap tricks you can think of to maximize the number of times you or your fellow adventurers can create a darkness effect in a day. Laugh in the DMs face as you solo an NPC wizard... with a rogue.

But almost anyone can see in Magical Darkness.

Darkness

This spell causes an object to radiate shadowy illumination out to a 20-foot radius.

[FidgetySquirrel]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA Please tell me that you have successfully pulled this off!

My old DM used a LOT of house rules. Some of them were based off of real-world physics and the like. It was pretty easy to convince him that, in theory, a creature can see in the dark because it has extremely powerful light receptors, or whatever. I convinced him that magical darkness can't possibly negate all light. If a drow can see in the underdark, why not inside of his own darkness spell? After all, there's no possible use for that SLA if it renders the user blind too, right? Then I took the instinctive darkness feat to get 2/day darkness as an immediate action. The enemy wizard only had one light/daylight spell prepped, so yes, I solo'd a LV 7 wizard with a LV 7 drow rogue.

Long story short, that's what you get for being a killer DM. He's just lucky I didn't do something worse.

But almost anyone can see in Magical Darkness.

True, but the spell grants concealment, this poorly conceived house rule allowed me to sneak attack inside the spell radius, which is not supposed to be possible.

[Ferronach]

Well played sir, well played

[DigoDragon]

441. Play friendly, soothing elevator music whenever the PCs explore a haunted 'Silent Hill' inspired mansion. If a fight breaks out with some horrid monster, play Ska.

442. When the party comes back out of the dungeon to their encampment, have them find one more horse then they remember. Said horse will be carrying stuff from the PCs as well as stuff from some teammate they don't remember ever seeing in their party.

443. When the DM breaks for the restroom, rearrange the chairs and everyone sits at a different spot and control a different character sheet. Act like this has been the norm all along.


(Yes, I've done all these)

[Sir Chuckles]

441. Play friendly, soothing elevator music whenever the PCs explore a haunted 'Silent Hill' inspired mansion. If a fight breaks out with some horrid monster, play Ska.
(Yes, I've done all these)

444. Max volume. Hit play. Whole session. Yes, even during the fight with Asmodeus.

[Angelalex242]

445: Insist that this is the verbal component for the Insanity spell. Offer to put it on the Bard List for spells he can learn if he uses that verbal component.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmpMO2dJQ6Q

[Kazudo]

446: Enforce your right to enact the verbal and somatic components of spells. They are all holding and shaking the material components and saying "Yu mo gwai gui fai di zao".
447: Perform 446 for the entire length of the action. 1 day casting time? Gonna be a long gaming session.

[Xaroth]

Any one of those is okay. Putting them together is the problem. This should only be one entry.

Others listed steps as multiple entries, I merely assumed that's how it worked. If I were to fix it, all after it would be forced to move back to the appropriate number, but if you so wish I'll fix it.

[Xaroth]

The feat and weapon property keen do not stack.

By not stacking, are you meaning Improved Critical and Keen would only grant a total of 6 extra numbers rather than nine? If so, I know that already.

*begins trying to explain*
*stops*

Okay, I've confused myself now.

Improved Critical applied to a Scimitar makes it go from 18-20 (3 numbers) to 15-20 (6 numbers). Disciple of Dispater's Iron Power +2 stacks with Improved Critical, but not with Keen. Keen is just an extra 3 numbers. So without Keen that should be... 3-20 (18 numbers)? And Keen would make it 0-20, but since a 0 isn't possible, it's a 1-20.

Weapon Master (Kensei) 7 wouldn't even be needed.

I'm so confused right now.

[ArqArturo]

#435: "Okay, guys, I found this really great system I want to try out. It's called FATAL."

My train of thought:

Me: Huh, what's FATAL? Let's ask St. Google
*Reading wiki article, reviews, comments*
Me: Wow... Sounds awful. Hey, look, a pdf!
*Reading the pdf*
Me:... What. The. Hell!?.

[Jormengand]

By not stacking, are you meaning Improved Critical and Keen would only grant a total of 6 extra numbers rather than nine? If so, I know that already.

No you don't, because it's false. They do not stack at all.

[Kazudo]

Says so right here.

This benefit (keen) doesn’t stack with any other effect that expands the threat range of a weapon (such as the keen edge spell or the Improved Critical feat).

Clarification added. Keen doesn't stack with anything. Also,

This effect (improved critical) doesn’t stack with any other effect that expands the threat range of a weapon.

Clarification added. Neither stacks at all. Now, there's an exception.

This ability (Iron Power) does not stack with the keen weapon quality, but it does stack with the Improved Critical feat.

Clarification added.

[Arbane]

My train of thought:

Me: Huh, what's FATAL? Let's ask St. Google
*Reading wiki article, reviews, comments*
Me: Wow... Sounds awful. Hey, look, a pdf!
*Reading the pdf*
Me:... What. The. Hell!?.

Important safety tip: When the internet says "for god's sake, don't look at this thing", DON'T look at that thing.

[beforemath]

But almost anyone can see in Magical Darkness.

Darkness

This spell causes an object to radiate shadowy illumination out to a 20-foot radius.

Wait... So, if I cast Darkness in the dark, it creates light?

[Rijan_Sai]

Wait... So, if I cast Darkness in the dark, it creates light?

That's basically how people interperet it, yes... dumb, but that's how it made the Dysfunctional Rules threads...several times, IIRC...

[Immabozo]

By not stacking, are you meaning Improved Critical and Keen would only grant a total of 6 extra numbers rather than nine? If so, I know that already.

*begins trying to explain*
*stops*

Okay, I've confused myself now.

Improved Critical applied to a Scimitar makes it go from 18-20 (3 numbers) to 15-20 (6 numbers). Disciple of Dispater's Iron Power +2 stacks with Improved Critical, but not with Keen. Keen is just an extra 3 numbers. So without Keen that should be... 3-20 (18 numbers)? And Keen would make it 0-20, but since a 0 isn't possible, it's a 1-20.

Weapon Master (Kensei) 7 wouldn't even be needed.

I'm so confused right now.

As others have said, this does not stack like you think it does. They overlap are pointless together

[ArqArturo]

Important safety tip: When the internet says "for god's sake, don't look at this thing", DON'T look at that thing.

I thought that only meant for memes.

[Xaroth]

My sincerest apologies, it turns out I'm an idiot. I'll replace that post with something else so that everyone doesn't have to alter their numbering.

[toapat]

As others have said, this does not stack like you think it does. They overlap are pointless together

the thing is, the PrC specifically says it stacks Iron Power with IC.

Really though, the 3.5 change to IC and Keen/impact to make them mutually exclusive is just a simplification of math that hurts mundanes.

[Immabozo]

My sincerest apologies, it turns out I'm an idiot. I'll replace that post with something else so that everyone doesn't have to alter their numbering.

Just because your formatting is not to someone else's likeing does not reflect upon your intelligence.

Coming up with a good solution like yours, does. Don't let some faceless person over the internet make you think less of yourself

[Hamste]

My train of thought:

Me: Huh, what's FATAL? Let's ask St. Google
*Reading wiki article, reviews, comments*
Me: Wow... Sounds awful. Hey, look, a pdf!
*Reading the pdf*
Me:... What. The. Hell!?.

Remember people; if a game asks you to roll for anal circumference just say no.

[Xaroth]

Just because your formatting is not to someone else's likeing does not reflect upon your intelligence.

Coming up with a good solution like yours, does. Don't let some faceless person over the internet make you think less of yourself

Your kind words are appreciated, but I was mainly saying "I'm an idiot" in a light-hearted manner. With that in mind:

418. As a Player: Play a bard. Insist that by smashing people's skulls in with your instrument, you're making music.
419. As a DM: Use the Book of Nymphology's spells whenever possible.
420. As a Player: If you find something flammable, ask your DM if you can blaze it.
421. As a Player: Take a flaw that makes it a necessity for you to pull every lever you see, even if there's a blood-stained "DON'T PULL THE LEVER" sign above it.
422. As a Player: Use the Book of Nymphology's spells whenever possible.
423. As a Player: Sacrifice the other players in a variety of rituals so that you qualify for different prestige classes that the ritual is required for. Never prestige into those classes.
424. As a Player: Play a Knight. Have it in your knight code that you won't take another being's treasure without their consent, whether they're alive or dead. Insist that the other players leave any and all loot they find. Fight anyone that disagrees.
425. As a DM: Put the players up against a Colossal Gay Al.
426. As a DM: Try and hint to the players to use Ability Rip on the Colossal Gay Al.
427. As a Player: If you're the ability ripper from 426, flaunt your new ability as much as possible. Change your entire personality to fit it.

For those not aware, this is the ability that would be gained:

Be Really Camp (Su): By spending a full turn flouncing, saying catchphrases or being an over dramatic queen, Al can lull his enemies into a false sense of security. They must make a Will save (DC 15) or be unable to attack Al until he attacks them.

[Sir Chuckles]

Remember people; if a game asks you to roll for anal circumference just say no.

I'm going to have to look this up now. Why? Because I'm an awful person.
At least I now know to Ctrl+Shift+N beforehand.

Edit:
I REGRET EVERYTHING.

[TheMonocleRogue]

449. Genie snow-cone machine
450. Fell drain magic missile cheese