1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Mrc.]

511: Make up titles for both yourself and the rest of the party. Refuse to address them in any other way and ignore any attempt to communicate with you unless addressed properly.
511b: Bonus points if you're the party face.

512: Demand greater involvement from the DM, including having physical props for spell components.
512b: Demand the party wizard eats the spell components when relevant.

[nedz]

513. Encourage your players to write copious backstories listing all of their contacts and family in their home town — start the first session with their home town being destroyed pompai style with them escaping somehow.

[Immabozo]

513. Encourage your players to write copious backstories listing all of their contacts and family in their home town — start the first session with their home town being destroyed pompai style with them escaping somehow.

513a bonus points if they are on another plane helping the fight against an army of alien bugs, a la Star Ship Troopers style

[ArqArturo]

514. Play a painfully honest Changeling Beguiler.

[illyahr]

Actually, since the Cure X Wounds line manipulates life energy, it really should be a Necromancy spell.

515. Play a L/E Wizard who takes body parts of the recently deceased (party members included) in order to craft alchemical (read: nonmagical) potions and specialize in dispel and antimagic effects.

[PsyBomb]

515: Play a Changeling Rogue/Warshaper, with minimum height/weight on the character. Disguise yourself as a relatively tall Gnome. Pretend all your natural-weapon attacks are just very well-hidden weapons. If someone catches your transformations, reply "I never said I was an ORDINARY Gnome, now did I?"

I loved that character.

[ArqArturo]

515. Play a L/E Wizard who takes body parts of the recently deceased (party members included) in order to craft alchemical (read: nonmagical) potions and specialize in dispel and antimagic effects.

In my PF game, I had an Alchemist NPC that did exactly that. The players were scared ****less and would not take potions from him.

[Ferronach]

516: Upon stumbling into the treasure room do something like this:

DM describes shiny stuff on shelves etc.
Half Ogre barbarian turns to rogue: "any traps?"
Rogue: rolls, "Yup, gimme a sec to disable them"
H.O. BBn: "this is taking too long!" picks up dwarf in full plate
Me: backs out of room and hides around the corner
H.O. BBn throws dwarf at the biggest and most impressive looking magical item shelf, effectively setting off all the traps in the room, calling the guards down on us, almost killing everyone in the room (the entire party but me) and forcing the back-up healer (me, a level 3 Favoured Soul) to spam heal the party before the guards get to us...

needless to say, we still joke about this event and threaten to do it to the Dwarf player again as he is playing a very similar character in our new game XD

[FidgetySquirrel]

*snip*

Oh, I get it now. Thanks!

513. Encourage your players to write copious backstories listing all of their contacts and family in their home town — start the first session with their home town being destroyed pompai style with them escaping somehow.

My party once made some pretty detailed backstories, then the DM Pompeii'd our entire world and threw us into a parallel universe. Needless to say, we were all pretty peeved.

[RhoTheWanderer]

DM describes shiny stuff on shelves etc.
Half Ogre barbarian turns to rogue: "any traps?"
Rogue: rolls, "Yup, gimme a sec to disable them"
H.O. BBn: "this is taking too long!" picks up dwarf in full plate
Me: backs out of room and hides around the corner
H.O. BBn throws dwarf at the biggest and most impressive looking magical item shelf, effectively setting off all the traps in the room, calling the guards down on us, almost killing everyone in the room (the entire party but me)

lol that reminds me of a 2e AD&D campaign I was in a few years ago.
517a. As a pc: Try to buy a magic hat from a shopkeeper. Try to haggle over the price.
517b. As a dm: Sell a cursed hat of idiocy that cannot be removed.
517c. As a pc: Act like a complete idiot (i.e. Pretend to have a memory & attention span that barely lasts a minute, do dumb things in character, talk in a ridiculous voice, ect.) until the other players and the dm get annoyed enough to actively try to get the hat of idiocy removed from your character.
518. Allow the following to occur:
Dm: "As you round the corner, the air in front of you appears to be an orange haze."
Gnome-like character that can instantly turn into a giant: "I chuck the elf into the haze."
DM: "Um...Ooookay?" *turns to me* Thanathalo, you take damage. And the gelatinous cube surges forward."
Needless to say, although my CN elf ranger survived, he demanded an additional 5% share of all future loot if he were to continue functioning as the party's guinea pig. The funny part is that they agreed to it.

[Angelalex242]

519:Play a bard that sings Disney songs for his bardic music. Sing them out loud. Keep your keys in your hand in case you get chased out of the DM's house.

[Mrc.]

520: Every time a deity is mentioned IC, have your character offer a ritual sacrifice to said deity, regardless of whether you actually worship them
520 b: Do this out of character as well, although this does lead to the awkward conversation with the DM about 'Why are there over forty goats in my front room?'

[nedz]

521 Everytime a PC mentions the name of a Deity: have that deity turn up, in person, and say "What ?".

[Amphetryon]

522: Tell your group you're enforcing multiclass penalties; 'forget' to mention you'll be enforcing them for Prestige Classes, also.

[geekintheground]

522: Tell your group you're enforcing multiclass penalties; 'forget' to mention you'll be enforcing them for Prestige Classes, also.

[ArqArturo]

523. "I'm putting the campaign on pause; it's getting too convoluted both story-wise and rules-wise all the sourcebooks we're using, and I need to play something simpler... So, that's why we're playing Rifts today".

[John Longarrow]

523. "I'm putting the campaign on pause; it's getting too convoluted both story-wise and rules-wise all the sourcebooks we're using, and I need to play something simpler... So, that's why we're playing Rifts today".

ArqArturo,
Please keep it believable. Either that or we need to have your GM committed...

524. When a character in a 3.5 game dies and only a Druid is available, break out the old Advanced D&D reincarnate tables --- including gender and class!

[ArqArturo]

ArqArturo,
Please keep it believable. Either that or we need to have your GM committed...

What, don't you wanna be a Glitterboy, don't you wanna do tons of Mega Damage? .

I tried that once, as a joke, and the players threw dice at me.

[ArqArturo]

525. Use the Taint rules, alongside the temptation rules of the fiend folio 2, the insanity points from Call of Cthulhu, and the Book of Vile Darkness/Fiend Folio/Heroes of Horror/Libris Mortis in your campaign for The bleakest, darkest most grimdark game ever.

526. ...Only to have your players mess it up by turning even more evil than your BBEGs .

[toapat]

527: Be a cleric of Sunny, God of Sunshine, Rainbows and Vagueness in the grimdarkness of 525. Have the divine mission of making the world a nice, not Grimdark place
528: Be the cleric from 527, Exterminate all practitioners of the Demon Prince Pelor
529: Reveal yourself as not just the High priest of Sunny, But as Sunny itself (as Sunny is too vague for Gender).

[Immabozo]

526. ...Only to have your players mess it up by turning even more evil than your BBEGs .

Make him the horrible, despicable BGGG (Big Good, Good Guy)

[nedz]

530 Half way through a campaign — have several deities change alignment and exchange portfolios. Any PC related deities will have the most radical changes imaginable, of course.

[Sir Chuckles]

ArqArturo,
Please keep it believable. Either that or we need to have your GM committed...

524. When a character in a 3.5 game dies and only a Druid is available, break out the old Advanced D&D reincarnate tables --- including gender and class!

I need to find that table.
(Probably minus class)

[nedz]

I need to find that table.
(Probably minus class)

AD&D had two tables.
One for Wizard which contained things like Orc and Troll, as well as the more usual races.
One for Druid which contained various animals, sylvan things like Dryads, as well as the more usual races.

Gender was never mentioned — though I do recall making people roll 50/50 (Dwarves 66/33)
Class was not part of the table.

Both tables contained "DM's choice".
I did run one game where most players volunteered for the D table — because.

[Immabozo]

(Dwarves 66/33)

so there is a 1% chance a dwarf would come back without a gender?

[ArqArturo]

AD&D had two tables.
One for Wizard which contained things like Orc and Troll, as well as the more usual races.
One for Druid which contained various animals, sylvan things like Dryads, as well as the more usual races.

Gender was never mentioned — though I do recall making people roll 50/50 (Dwarves 66/33)
Class was not part of the table.

Both tables contained "DM's choice".
I did run one game where most players volunteered for the D table — because.

Nothing spells terrifying like an angry Ranger/Barbarian Dire raccoon.

[Immabozo]

Nothing spells terrifying like an angry Ranger/Barbarian Dire raccoon. woman

{scrubbed}

[nedz]

so there is a 1% chance a dwarf would come back without a gender?

No — it's a 1% chance that no one is sure.

[ArqArturo]

No — it's a 1% chance that no one is sure.

You just look under its beard.

[Immabozo]

No — it's a 1% chance that no one is sure.

I like my answer better, lol