1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Doorhandle]

108: Play an alchemist. Get the implant bomb feat. Use implant bomb on yourself with all your daily slots, then walk up to a dragon, Flip him off, and then detonate yourself. Profit.
109: Play an arcane archer. Have the D.M try to figure out how imbue arrow works with antimagic field.
110: Play a gunslinger. Never use guns.
111: Play a wizard. Never use spells.
112: Play a fighter. Never use feats.
113: Play a lawful good paladin of asmodeus.
114: Change your familiar/animal companion every time you level up.
115: Find the axe of the dwarven lords: Destroy it in front of them.
116: Draw from the deck of many things.
117: Be a harrower and do the same thing.
118: Play a summoner. Take eldritch heritage: sylvian and leadership. Then optimize them both and trample the campaign beneath your army.
119: Fill every spell slot with vomit swarm, creeping doom, manic monkeys, rain of frogs, hornet swarm, ect. Bury the campaign under swarms of insects.
120: Prepare the mount spell in every spell slot. Literally trample the campaign beneath your army.
121: Heighten continual flame to 9th so that no darkness spell can actually hit you.
122: Play a dwarf bard and have the highest charisma in the party.
123: Play an elf barbarian and have the highest con in the party.
124: Play a half-orc barbarian and have the lowest strength in the party.
125: Play a martial artist. Use your ability damage resistance to snort up the hardest drugs in existence with no ill effects.
126: Do the same with a poison-immune paladin.
127: Base your character's build entley around taking other people's clothes off.
128: Base your character's build entirely around taking YOUR clothes off.
129: Base your character's build around putting clothes on other people.

[Socksy]

130: Play an Assplomancer.

[John Longarrow]

131. Use the 2nd edition reincarnate tables in a 3.x game.... Great fun having a 9th level Ranger who's a horse!
132. Invisible flying telepath following one character. Talk about hearing voices in their head!

[Inevitability]

133. Break WBL at first level.
134. Buy a warbeast battletitan for 2800 GP.
135. Buy multiple warbeast battletitans.

136. Combine all of the above. Laugh evily.

[Raimun]

137. Tell the party you'll play a Cleric. Roll an Evil Cleric who heals from negative energy. Never prepare Cure-spells, etc.
138. Animate Dead
139. Roll an Aristocrat. Expect royal treatment, even when you don't pull your weight in or out of combat.
140. Demand that the party negotiates with lower plane fiends.
141. Use your share of the loot to start a farm. Insist to continue playing the character.

...

1001. Argue rules as a player even when it's not favoring the party.

[LarwisTheElf]

142. Play a STP Erudite. Pour all your WBL into getting new spells/powers.

[Inevitability]

143. Write something like this. Ask everyone to sign it, 'just to avoid problems that may otherwise turn up'

[Socksy]

144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

[ArqArturo]

145. Create a Frenzied berserker with the lowest Will save possible, use frenzy when the fight is almost done and slowly move towards the spellcaster/healer.

[John Longarrow]

144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

Um... Isn't that HALF the dialog for most games???

[Xalos]

143. Write something like this. Ask everyone to sign it, 'just to avoid problems that may otherwise turn up'

That is one of the best

144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

That sounds like a great idea!

Wow... nearly 150 ideas! LETS KEEP GOING!

145. Play a rogue
146. Play a Sorcerer with 8 int score

[nedz]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.
148. Play a Bard — Roleplay your music by singing the same annoying pop song in every combat.
149. Create a character which involves as many dysfunctional rules as you can manage — force the DM to continually make up house rules.
150. When DMing: always rail-road and then have some NPC steal the show making the PCs actions irrelevant.
151. When DMing: Make every plot about some high level NPC on NPC action — RPGs are spectator sports.
152. When DMing: Make every NPC characterisation identical, even down to their names.

[dascarletm]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.

This happened to me once. Needless to say the campaign ended after one session.

[ArqArturo]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.

Hodor......

[Xalos]

153. Play a rogue who gives everything to random NPCs....
154. Play a Human Paladin who doesn't know what the word "Celibate" means... - bonus points if you seduce almost every girl you meet.
155. Play a character who can't tell the truth, has to always lie no matter what. - bonus points if you don't tell your party what you're doing.

[Angelalex242]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

[Xalos]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

i said seduce not make fall in love/attached to you

[Angelalex242]

It's not that easy to control whether she gets attached to you or not. Sooner or later, attachment WILL happen. Maybe it's based on the girl's will save...if she fails the DC, she's actually in love with you, not just looking for fun. After all, a Paladin is normally a prime catch, and since they don't usually philander, she's likely to think she's the one girl in all the world for you, the Lady to your Knight. It's different with Bards, girls expect some love 'em and leave 'em from Bards, but Paladins, not so much. That whole honor thing that gets them into your bed makes it all the easier for them to get attached.

Never mind the sowing wild oats part of it. And THAT might be a Fort Save, perhaps even a successful fort save, as healthier girls are more likely to get pregnant. The Paladin's honor bound to take care of his children, and child support costs will rise exponentially if he keeps doing that.

With all that in mind...Philandering Paladins are highly unlikely to be able to get through more then 3 or 4 girls before they fall for the evil action of breaking someone's heart for their own pleasure.

[Alex12]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

Totally possible.
As long as everyone involved understands that it's a one-night-stand (or whatever), it's neither chaotic nor evil. After all, Paladins don't have to be chaste, human(oid)s have certain needs, and considering the sorts of things Paladins are supposed to be dealing with regularly, having a spouse worrying about them would just be mean to the spouse.

[Amphetryon]

It's not that easy to control whether she gets attached to you or not. Sooner or later, attachment WILL happen. Maybe it's based on the girl's will save...if she fails the DC, she's actually in love with you, not just looking for fun. After all, a Paladin is normally a prime catch, and since they don't usually philander, she's likely to think she's the one girl in all the world for you, the Lady to your Knight. It's different with Bards, girls expect some love 'em and leave 'em from Bards, but Paladins, not so much. That whole honor thing that gets them into your bed makes it all the easier for them to get attached.

Never mind the sowing wild oats part of it. And THAT might be a Fort Save, perhaps even a successful fort save, as healthier girls are more likely to get pregnant. The Paladin's honor bound to take care of his children, and child support costs will rise exponentially if he keeps doing that.

With all that in mind...Philandering Paladins are highly unlikely to be able to get through more then 3 or 4 girls before they fall for the evil action of breaking someone's heart for their own pleasure.

There's nothing in the default Paladin's Code that requires fidelity, celibacy, or chastity that I can find. Could you clarify where the rule that philandering is a Falling offense for non-Exalted (BoED) Paladins is located?

[nedz]

156. When DMing: When one of your players has rolled a Paladin, reinterpret the Paladin's code in ways they weren't expecting and make them fall.
157. When DMing: When one of your players has rolled a Paladin, give them a Kobayashi Maru and laugh as they fall.

[Tim Proctor]

156: Play a Dwarven Monk (so you can tumble in full plate) and quote Dwarfucious all the time.

[Angelalex242]

The default Paladin's code can certainly be expected to entail respect for the feelings of your lover if you're going to take one in the first place.




Good implies altruism, respect for life, and a concern for the dignity of sentient beings. Good characters make personal sacrifices to help others.

Law implies honor, trustworthiness, obedience to authority, and reliability. On the downside, lawfulness can include closed-mindedness, reactionary adherence to tradition, judgmentalness, and a lack of adaptability. Those who consciously promote lawfulness say that only lawful behavior creates a society in which people can depend on each other and make the right decisions in full confidence that others will act as they should.

Lawful Good[edit]

A Lawful Good character typically acts with compassion, and always with honor and a sense of duty. A Lawful Good nation would consist of a well-organized government that works for the benefit of its citizens. Lawful Good characters include righteous knights, paladins, and most dwarves. Lawful Good creatures include the noble golden dragons.

Lawful Good characters, especially paladins, may sometimes find themselves faced with the dilemma of whether to obey law or good when the two conflict — for example, upholding a sworn oath when it would lead innocents to come to harm — or conflicts between two orders, such as between their religious law and the law of the local ruler.

In the Complete Scoundrel sourcebook for D&D 3.5, Batman, Detective Tracy and Indiana Jones are cited as examples of Lawful Good characters.[10]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alignme...s_%26_Dragons)

[TeslaJr]

**Armok Bonus**

Blood for the Blood God! FOR SCIENCE!

[Sir Chuckles]

127: Base your character's build entley around taking other people's clothes off.
128: Base your character's build entirely around taking YOUR clothes off.
129: Base your character's build around putting clothes on other people.

I humbly request a guide.

[Alex12]

*snip*

And none of this prevents having a one-night stand. It just means that all parties involved have to be aware that it's a one-night stand.
Now, if you go swear eternal love or something to someone, and then up and leave, that's a completely different story.

[Angelalex242]

It doesn't prevent one night stands, if it is thoroughly made clear to the lady in question that's all it is, (you do have to treat her honorably, respectfully, and let her make her own decisions about what she's okay with), but there's still the problem of pregnancy. And contraception in AD&D's world isn't so advanced as ours.

Admittedly, STDs aren't going to problem for disease immune paladins, and he can even cure her of one if she has one.

Using an actual prostitute, however, can still be seen as exploitative and therefore evil.

[Alex12]

It doesn't prevent one night stands, if it is thoroughly made clear to the lady in question that's all it is, (you do have to treat her honorably, respectfully, and let her make her own decisions about what she's okay with), but there's still the problem of pregnancy. And contraception in AD&D's world isn't so advanced as ours.

Admittedly, STDs aren't going to problem for disease immune paladins, and he can even cure her of one if she has one.

I wonder if Cure Disease would count an implanted egg as a parasite?
Or you could assume that, just like there are spells to cure disease, heal injuries, throw fire, fly, teleport, turn invisible, stop time, bring back the dead, travel between dimensions, and so forth, there's a low-level spell that acts as a contraceptive (even without checking, I'm certain BoEF has such a spell)

[Sir Chuckles]

159. Debate the nature of pregnancy, and if Cure Disease can act as a morning after pill.

[MirthTheBard]

When DMing
160: Give the bartender in the Bad Guy's bar the same stats as the badguys
161: Let said bartender's supercrit go through on a PC.

When Playing:
162: Constantly say "if I was DMing...[insert homebrew rule here]"
163: Argue to your DM that d&d wiki is totally acceptable.
164: Don't think about your round until the time comes, and ask multiple questions about the status of everything around each time.