1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Nightheart4575]

865: In Ebberon play a Warforged. Make it a bard. give it a sense of gender to confuse everyone. make it Female. call it jukebox. decide your entire Warforged body is implanted with different instruments. Learn to play said instruments. Write parodies of several songs/ tv shows/ situations etc that your character would have no way of actually knowing. these will be the melodies for your inspire courage and other bard songs.

866: prepare the song for your final encounter weeks before the game even starts.

Spoiler

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make the song the final countdown for extra lols, I shall let you know how it turns out later.

[Yael]

866. As a Player: Tell your party you'll do the casting stuff. Have your character have 9 on its casting stat, allegate it is an special kind of caster, and its will powers will come later, meanwhile, why no take monk levels?

[Nightheart4575]

868: as DM have all your NPCs sound like characters from various children's shows including cookie monster the bartender and Sebastian the crab as a ship captain.

[ArqArturo]

866: prepare the song for your final encounter weeks before the game even starts.

Spoiler

Show

make the song the final countdown for extra lols, I shall let you know how it turns out later.

Spoiler

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It could end in disaster :p.

[emilin_rose]

868: as DM have all your NPCs sound like characters from various children's shows including cookie monster the bartender and Sebastian the crab as a ship captain.

I would LOVE to see and play a game like this. That would be awesome.

[Nightheart4575]

869: As a player convince the rest of your party to create characters based on the mane 6 characters of my little pony without directly stating it. Don't tell your DM of your intention. Bonus points if your character name subtly refers to or somehow contains part or all of the name of the pony you are basing it off of. see how long it takes your DM to realise.

[Milodiah]

870. As the DM, ask the players "Are you wearing your armor right now?" at random times in towns, camp, taverns, etc.
If they say no, look devious, roll some dice, and ask for a spot check. DC: one higher than the number they end up with.

And I do hope somebody's said "Use bardic music to Inspire Competence on a Move Silently check."

[Ferronach]

And I do hope somebody's said "Use bardic music to Inspire Competence on a Move Silently check."

Can anyone say:
Whisper, whisper, don't make a sound. Your bed is made, it's in the ground. Whisper, whisper, don't make a sound. Your bed is made and it's in the ground.
?

Probably the only time Billy Talent should be even remotely thought of....

[nedz]

And I do hope somebody's said "Use bardic music to Inspire Competence on a Move Silently check."

1. Use Bardic Music to Inspire Competence on Move Silently
2. Teleport in
3. For the next 4 (or 9) rounds enjoy +X morale bonus to your Move Silently checks
4. Profit

[Jurai]

871. Build a heavy metal bard with Perform (Kazoo).

[bjoern]

872.

True story, and somewhat unintentional.
1. Use wisdom as a dump stat
2. Take race with a penalty to wisdom
3. Take flaw inattentive
4. Take flaw pathetic wisdom
5. Put no ranks in spot or listen

Volunteer for watch duty.

[Hazrond]

872.

True story, and somewhat unintentional.
1. Use wisdom as a dump stat
2. Take race with a penalty to wisdom
3. Take flaw inattentive
4. Take flaw pathetic wisdom
5. Put no ranks in spot or listen

Volunteer for watch duty.

Rest of the party hears "I ROLLED A FOUR, GUYS I ROLLED A FOUR" you don't

[bjoern]

Rest of the party hears "I ROLLED A FOUR, GUYS I ROLLED A FOUR" you don't

Yeah, I'm sitting on a solid -6 to spot/listen.

It was actually asked at the table if I should be required to make a spot roll to determine if I could see the guy hitting me with his fists.

[Rijan_Sai]

872.

True story, and somewhat unintentional.
1. Use wisdom as a dump stat
2. Take race with a penalty to wisdom
3. Take flaw inattentive
4. Take flaw pathetic wisdom
5. Put no ranks in spot or listen

Volunteer for watch duty.

So...in other words, RP the negative Wisdom perfectly!

[Hazrond]

873. Have a 2 in wisdom but a great charisma score, take force of personality and be really naive

[Milodiah]

Yeah, I'm sitting on a solid -6 to spot/listen.

It was actually asked at the table if I should be required to make a spot roll to determine if I could see the guy hitting me with his fists.

My friend had a half-ogre who ended up with an INT of 4.

He had to roll to operate doorknobs.

He usually failed.

[ArqArturo]

My friend had a half-ogre who ended up with an INT of 4.

He had to roll to operate doorknobs.

He usually failed.

My DM wouldn't let me say things unless I spoke like an idiot, or to speak in a reaaally low voice, because apparently negative scores on Charisma meant that 'no one will ever take you seriously'.

So my ghostwise halfling wizard would, nine times out of ten, say 'I told you so' to the party/NPCs/DMPCs/DM.

[Xalos]

833. Ride a horse ontop of the unconscious friendly NPC during a fight

[PsyBomb]

Inspire Competence for Move Silently, I've done. I was doing a very public performance, and my rogue friend was sneaking around the back. My lyrics were cool and soothing, not "he's-a movin' so soft-ly!". Still, I can say that I did it :D

So, with the release of PF's ACG...

834: Play a female multiclass of as many different Hybrid classes as you can. Sing "I'm Every Woman" at every opportunity for your Skald abilities.

[ArqArturo]

835. Rudisplork... Everyone.

[Ferronach]

836: Convince the DM to homebrew a "race" of droids/robots/cyborgs.

Every session, roleplay a different famous droid/robot/cyborg (including their "alignment" and how they would respond to situations) and see how long it takes people to catch on.

[Xalos]

836: Convince the DM to homebrew a "race" of droids/robots/cyborgs.

Every session, roleplay a different famous droid/robot/cyborg (including their "alignment" and how they would respond to situations) and see how long it takes people to catch on.

[Ferronach]

[ArqArturo]

Warforged Glaivelock :p.

[Ferronach]

837: As the DM get really excited as you tell the players that you have decided to homebrew some "feat packages" for them which will make it less feat costly to do certain things.

Proceed to combine things like the cleaves, point blank shot and some of its derivatives, endurance and diehard, and so on.
Refuse to combine anything that could remotely help a caster (other than if it helps a physical character more).

Laugh as the optimized caster cry about how you are ignoring their OP buts.
Justify your actions as "balancing" the game.

[Hazrond]

837: As the DM get really excited as you tell the players that you have decided to homebrew some "feat packages" for them which will make it less feat costly to do certain things.

Proceed to combine things like the cleaves, point blank shot and some of its derivatives, endurance and diehard, and so on.
Refuse to combine anything that could remotely help a caster (other than if it helps a physical character more).

Laugh as the optimized caster cry about how you are ignoring their OP buts.
Justify your actions as "balancing" the game.

I actually like this one

[heavyfuel]

837: As the DM get really excited as you tell the players that you have decided to homebrew some "feat packages" for them which will make it less feat costly to do certain things.

Proceed to combine things like the cleaves, point blank shot and some of its derivatives, endurance and diehard, and so on.
Refuse to combine anything that could remotely help a caster (other than if it helps a physical character more).

Laugh as the optimized caster cry about how you are ignoring their OP buts.
Justify your actions as "balancing" the game.

I don't know if your joking or not, but it's actually a decent way of closing, somewhat, the huge gap between mundanes and casters. If they don't like it, just ditch their Tier 1 for the lesser mundanes. Of course none will do that because it would e dumb.

[Milodiah]

838: Build an elf ranger specialized in bows who has taken a vow of pacifism; insist that the only way you'll contribute to combat is through a series of increasingly improbable and roundabout trick shots featuring ricochets, dislodged stalagmites, cut ropes, and pressed buttons. Insist that you calculate the ballpark probabilities of each, and proceed to roll for it every time. Use online rollers for when the to hit chance dips below 1/100.

[Ferronach]

I don't know if your joking or not, but it's actually a decent way of closing, somewhat, the huge gap between mundanes and casters. If they don't like it, just ditch their Tier 1 for the lesser mundanes. Of course none will do that because it would e dumb.

Im actually going to do it in my game. I will make the Feat packages a single feat slot that grants certain feats as you level up.
For example: Power attack at level 1, cleave at level 2 and great cleave when your BAB is +4. All for a single feat.
To prevent breaking, I maintain that certain packages must be taken at level 1 (fighter can take as bonus at 1 or 2).
I may roll all unarmed into one for those poor monkish fellow if one of my future players decides to be one...

[...]

839. Make a magic item that allows anyone to turn dead at will, with no limits, as a free action. Let me repeat that. You are going to make a magic item that allows anyone to turn DEAD at will. Undead are perfectly safe from this item.