Roll to Dodge I: Why don't we have one of these already?

[Yumori Zatsuken]

I order my worshippers to break open the bars of my loyal Prisoner Zero and to make me a Buster Spoon Sword.

[Crimson Doom]

Bah humbug. I attempt to jump up and drag the fridge down from the ceiling. Never mind that it's welded to the ceiling, I don't care about petty things like physics.

[ImperatorV]

So, I have no idea what I even am. This raises all sorts of weird philosophical questions.

I attempt to sort out my newfound existential issues.

[Tris]

Lena is not sure what her subordinates are confused about. Since she doesn't seem to be having any luck with them at the moment, she takes a peak into a nearby room.

[SpeedWitch]

Alright, now that I look nice and formal again, I charge into the nearest room to search for ADVENTURE!

Or, more specifically, why a bunch of weird aliens would want to drag an enraged anubite onto their ship.

[AsteronIronhoof]

Shouldn't Yumori get a penalty to summoning objects or something? He did role a 1.

[Crimson Doom]

Shouldn't Yumori get a penalty to summoning objects or something? He did role a 1.

Eh. That one's not a hard and fast rule. I just like doing it and it seems that most of the other GMs have picked up on it.

[Elemental]

Shouldn't Yumori get a penalty to summoning objects or something? He did role a 1.

I consider being Cthulhu in the eyes of an entire plane of existence of sentient spoons suitably inconveniencing.

[JBPuffin]

I...flashbacks to a story I once wrote involving a little fork-wielding Kuriboh Squire of mine make this outcome more precious than words...thank you, Elemental. Thank you.

As for my next action, how far does the definition of Kuriboh stretch? Like, say, does it apply to Winged Kuribohs? Kuribees? I want to know so badly now, so...

I summon all of the Kuriboh spin-offs. All of them. Hope the others don't get jealous. Maybe I can trade them to the ship so we can finally get to Pokemon Planet...

[Rain Dragon]

Good grief, I forgot to do this the day before yesterday. >.>
How horrible.

I leave for work now, but I shall endeavour to have the narration up within 24hrs.

[Rater202]

I'm resoanbly certain that the "Kuriboh Brothers" and their fusions aren't canon, if for no other reason than they don't have printed cards, and they only appeared in one story arch that had jack to do with the Manga.(While detailes varied considerably, the second more well known anime more or less followed the manga storyline from duelist onward)

[Elemental]

And I should get an action in before I forget...


Seeing as I have unfortunately died, I attempt to manifest as an undead spirit.

[Rain Dragon]

Round Nineteen
These are not the answers you're looking for...

Spoiler: Chris (Rater)

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Chris decides he needs to figure where the hell where this Prisoner is

Hmm, well after a moment or two evidence of the prisoner having left is rather clear. Clearly this prisoner had been rather careless in escaping making tracking the prisoner exceptionally easy. You easily catch up to where the prisoner has gone, entering the very same escape shuttle with plenty of time to spare before lift off.

You know this because the prisoner was napping in what must be the pilot's seat.
How foolish.

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4

Spoiler: Duck

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To prepare for future conflict, I weaponize the balloons that fell from the ceiling.

Indeed, the balloons have potential. However, as you approach to weaponise one...
POP!
Well, that did not work so well. Mayb... POP!
You know, they say that beauty is gone with the blink of an eye, but surely balloons do not count, right?

Some aliens who happen to be around at the time decide to try to help you.
POP POP POP POP POP!
Unfortunately, they seem to think destroying all of your potential weapons is far more efficient than making actual weapons out of them.

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2

Spoiler: Zaphod (AsteronIronhoof)

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...Wow. Another one?! Well Zaphod thinks, "Oh well. This book can't be THAT bad, right?"
Zaphod studies the dark magic inside... (But seriously ANOTHER one?!"

Of course the book isn't that bad. In fact, it's rather good. Cover to cover you read it. Then cover to cover you read it again. Upside down, back to front, and yet each time you look more and more secrets reveal themselves to you. You would realise the book consumes the better part of the week, if you were not too busy studying it to notice.

With a plethora of Dark Secrets at your Magical Fingertips, you put the b... You put the book d...
You can no longer bear the thought of parting with your book.

--Summary--
Bonus - You gain a bit of kickass dark magic
Drawback - You are inherently linked to the book

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4

Spoiler: Yumori Zatsuken

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I order my worshippers to break open the bars of my loyal Prisoner Zero and to make me a Buster Spoon Sword.

Indeed, your worshippers waste little time in freeing Prisoner Zero. They took the bars and scurried away quickly with them, returning with a Spoon Sword so thick and heavy it took all of their strength to lift it. The spoon-sword happened to be taller than you are as well. Its surface gleamed dimly in the light as you approach.

And of course, you wield it easily. As if it had been made for you.
Well... It probably was.

Bonus - Not only is Prisoner Zero free, but you have a huge umm... weapon. To be awesome with.

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6

Spoiler: Crimson Doom

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Bah humbug. I attempt to jump up and drag the fridge down from the ceiling. Never mind that it's welded to the ceiling, I don't care about petty things like physics.

Physics Schmysics, am I right? You leap up to the fridge. You grab the fridge. You heave and...
Nothing.

Well, now you are hanging from a fridge welded to the ceiling. And unfortunately, it is a rather high ceiling. Though I mean, who cares about petty things like physics. The fall certainly won't break your leg!

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2

Spoiler: ImperatorV

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So, I have no idea what I even am. This raises all sorts of weird philosophical questions.

I attempt to sort out my newfound existential issues.

Indeed, what are you? Well, for a start you are a collection of matter. Though, even this is not entirely reliable. You are constantly consuming and losing matter. Changing. Given enough time, your matter could easily be on the other side of the universe and well... Not really 'you' anymore.
At least you live, but do you really? Truly? Can you live when you do not possess a soul? The thought simply... fills you with longing again.

It is probably best not to dwell too much on all of that.

You suffer a -1 penalty to philosophical thoughts/questions regarding your existential crisis

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1

My apologies for the short answer for this one as well.
EDIT - This one was edited because I messed up a sentence.

Spoiler: Lena (Tanar Aerdoth)

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Lena is not sure what her subordinates are confused about. Since she doesn't seem to be having any luck with them at the moment, she takes a peak into a nearby room.

Alas, the next room is the same as the one before and holds no answers for you. Or anyone for that matter.

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2

Sorry. Short answer is short...

Spoiler: Angsty Anubite

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Alright, now that I look nice and formal again, I charge into the nearest room to search for ADVENTURE!

Or, more specifically, why a bunch of weird aliens would want to drag an enraged anubite onto their ship.

While adventure does not seem to be beyond the next door you do find a small group of small cowering aliens. One of them chitters at you briefly.
After a moment of silence, a voice comes from everywhere and nowhere at once.

<Please! We just... We just needed samples! DNA to save our brethren! Please don't hurt my family, please!>

The aliens had at this point squeezed their eyes shut and were staying as still as possible.

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3

Spoiler: JBPuffin

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I summon all of the Kuriboh spin-offs. All of them. Hope the others don't get jealous. Maybe I can trade them to the ship so we can finally get to Pokemon Planet...

You can feel it. The familiar energies washes over you as you attempt to summon yet more Kuriboh. One of All. Of. Them. Eeee, so cute!
The energies whirl and twist around you; almost more than you can handle. Forced to concentrate solely on the task at hand the thought of all adorable Kuriboh leave your mind.

Then it came.
And it was not a Kurriboh. Her pure red eyes gleam from the depths of black eye sockets in the depths of a pool of bubbling grey. Rising from the depths a white female figure slashed with black and covered in horns wails at you.

Slash!

Her clawed hand barely misses your face. Wait...
Weren't Shape Sisters supposed to be ATT 0/DEF 0?

Nonetheless, she certainly seems menacing; and she is not exactly happy to be here.

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1
*Note - I actually looked through my cards for a random trap card. It does not look like she has claws, but meh. I like claws. I also... Have not played Yugioh in such a long time.

You rolled a 4 to dodge the Shape Sister!

Spoiler: Elementius

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Seeing as I have unfortunately died, I attempt to manifest as an undead spirit.

Fortunately, you're not dead dead. Weeellll, you /are/ dead, but only just dead. Not dead as a doornail dead.
This is good! You have some time.

But... Something is... strange. Weighing you down.

Oh, right. Your body. You seem to be trapped in your dead body, dead. But... Not very dead.

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3

[JBPuffin]

Hmm. Looks like Kuriboh powers don't extend to even Winged Kuriboh (most of them do have cards, I thought...); anywho, "Blue Eyes, take this mother down!"

[Rater202]

Smite the prisoner!

[Cuthalion]

I attempt to walk through another wall without being hurt.

[Crimson Doom]

Mrm. This is unfortunate. Stupid physics. But hmm, there's a thought... I attempt to become immune to physics.

[AsteronIronhoof]

DANG!!! Who knew this kind of stuff could be so COOL?! I look for beings to use my new powers on to create a DARK ARMY!!!!!

[ImperatorV]

So, thus far my average roll is 1.75.

After failing to resolve my existential crisis, I become very depressed. And when I am depressed, I want to sleep, to forget my sucky life for a time. I try to take a nap.

[AsteronIronhoof]

That even worse than my 2.5 average!!

[Tris]

Lena meows at her subordinates again. She tries to meow a little clearer this time. Hopefully, this time they'll understand that she wants to find her human and not take offence.

[SpeedWitch]

Hmm, well this is an interesting development... Alright, I'll be merciful but intimidating: I question the aliens for more information. Why do they need my DNA? Who is their leader, and where can I find him/her/it? And how do I get back home?

And is there like, a bathroom on this thing? ... or at least a fire hydrant?

[Duck999]

I ask an alien to conjure me a weapon balloon.

[Mrs McGinty]

I am a tyrannosaur.

[FlameI7]

I do my best to start existing.

[Rain Dragon]

Mendevelyx replaces his faulty flesh arm with the new mechanical one. Of course, leaving the strangely jealous mechadendrite in place. Odd... It has... feelings...

[AsteronIronhoof]

Do we know who's going to narrate this round?

[SpeedWitch]

Well I'm not seeing any takers, so I guess I volunteer as tribute ^{(I'm sorry, I'm loving the Hunger Games Soundtrack right now)}. Expect your overdue absurdity this time tomorrow. Give or take an hour.

[JBPuffin]

Thanks, Anubite. Sadly, I won't be able to check the veracity of this for a while...

Also, in case this becomes important - as in, there are times I can't post and don't want to wait a turn to do something - can I have a reserve action? Like say, if round 23 comes and I can't post an action, could I have a default that says something like "I attempt to summon a random monster"? That'd be awesome.

[Crimson Doom]

Thanks, Anubite. Sadly, I won't be able to check the veracity of this for a while...

Also, in case this becomes important - as in, there are times I can't post and don't want to wait a turn to do something - can I have a reserve action? Like say, if round 23 comes and I can't post an action, could I have a default that says something like "I attempt to summon a random monster"? That'd be awesome.

I don't see why not... just be sure that it makes its way into your summary in the GM posts so that future GMs know about it without having to remember it offhand.