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Thread: Iron Poet XX
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2014-12-02, 04:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- 3 inches from yesterday
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
I'm actually quite thankful for the delay. Didn't feel like I could write something on Black Friday weekend.
Good luck 3SecondCultist. This should be a really fun round. (I've already got some ideas for what I'm going to do)Thanks Uncle Festy for the wonderful Ashling Avatar
I make music
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2014-12-02, 04:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Thank you, and good luck yourself!
I should tell you know, that I'm likely to use my extension for this final round. I'm in the midst of writing all of my end of term papers and exams, so I spend most nights crying myself to sleep amidst selected research sources.
But yeah, I have a few ideas for repetitious and beguiled.Spoiler: Stuff I'm Working OnSmall Justice
An ongoing web serial about politics, vengeance, and miniature lizards. Go check it out!
"Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat."
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2014-12-03, 02:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- South Korea
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Yeah, I figured that would be the case. If I had posted the round earlier I would have likely made the deadline the same regardless due to the holidays. Since this is the final round, and we're getting to end of semester woes and the holiday season, if you both agree to extend the contest's deadline that would be fine with me.
“Sometimes, immersed in his books, there would come to him
the awareness of all that he did not know, of all that he had not read;
and the serenity for which he labored was shattered as he realized the
little time he had in life to read so much, to learn what he had to know.”
~Stoner, John Williams~
My Homebrew (Most Recent) | Forum Rules
/veɪnoɚ/
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2014-12-10, 12:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- 3 inches from yesterday
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Is this past the deadline? I guess I'm using my extension here.
Spoiler“Clocks”
Tick. I think it’s watching me.
Tock. I think it’s looking for me.
Tick. I can’t escape it.
Tock. Someone help me.
It’s always there.
Hunting me,
Hurting me.
What hour is this?
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
I could watch it all day
It wants me to.
Around and around
And I can’t escape.
Tick. I need to sleep.
Tock. I need to breathe
Tick. It’s right behind me.
Tock. Right in front of me.
It’s always the same.
Twice a day,
Twice a day.
This isn't pleasant.
What’s going on?
Where am I?
I don’t even know.
It wants me that way.
Alone and alone.
And I can’t escape.
Tick. (one more hour)
Tock. (one more day)
Tick. (until I stop)
Tock. (until I sleep)
Tick. (watching it)
Tock. (watching it)
Tick. (watch me)
Tock. (watch me)
Watch me.
Congrats everyone for an excellent contest.Thanks Uncle Festy for the wonderful Ashling Avatar
I make music
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2014-12-10, 10:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Location
- Uusimaa
Re: Iron Poet XX
Woo, final round! Just would like to say my thanks to the judges. The picture prompts are probably my least favourite thing as I start to feel very unmotivated and restricted with them, and well, they're very much dependant on how the writer and the reader interprets the picture (do we look at it in a more literal sense or do we work with the vibes (which was most def my case)). But I suppose that's part of the challenge and brings more depth to the competition!
Originally Posted by LaZodiac
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2014-12-10, 01:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
I like your poem Extinguisher! A cool read to be certain.
As for myself, I have barely started. What are the rules on extensions exactly? I'm flying home today, so I might be able to finish it up tonight before 11:59, but I don't want to forfeit the final round.Spoiler: Stuff I'm Working OnSmall Justice
An ongoing web serial about politics, vengeance, and miniature lizards. Go check it out!
"Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat."
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2014-12-10, 01:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Aldain
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Extention only gets you 12 hours. Which you are currently past, as the round ended last night at midnight.
Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes
World Building Projects:
Magic: The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology
Order of the Stick Projects:
Annotation of the Comic | Magic Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
(you can't take the sky from me)
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2014-12-10, 01:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Spoiler: Stuff I'm Working OnSmall Justice
An ongoing web serial about politics, vengeance, and miniature lizards. Go check it out!
"Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat."
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2014-12-10, 01:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Aldain
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes
World Building Projects:
Magic: The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology
Order of the Stick Projects:
Annotation of the Comic | Magic Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
(you can't take the sky from me)
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2014-12-10, 01:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- 3 inches from yesterday
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
I'm perfectly fine allowing you to take some more time on the poem. It's the final round, and winning by default is no fun anyway.
Thanks Uncle Festy for the wonderful Ashling Avatar
I make music
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2014-12-10, 11:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Well, if this is still a valid submission, here goes - villanelle style!
Spoiler: I'll Wake YouHow will you see me, once you know?
Will you burn and rage? Will your heartbeat swell?
I’ll wake you when I let you go.
While new lovers sing high and low,
those lies that only they can tell,
how will you see me, once you know?
Our lips were always transfixed on tomorrow
but at bare truth's eclipse, I fell.
I’ll wake you when I let you go.
To the honest, a garden where their love may grow
and soon, to us, our little hell.
How will you see me, once you know?
The favors of those other women, I should throw
away on distant sands to sell.
I’ll wake you when I let you go.
I tricked you, played you, guiled you, no –
unmade your trust, and broke your shell.
How will you see me, once you know?
I’ll wake you when I let you go.
Hopefully this still makes the contest! I hope I did the prompts justice in form and content.Last edited by 3SecondCultist; 2014-12-12 at 11:04 PM.
Spoiler: Stuff I'm Working OnSmall Justice
An ongoing web serial about politics, vengeance, and miniature lizards. Go check it out!
"Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat."
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2014-12-11, 09:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- South Korea
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
As long as both contestants are ok with it I don't mind you posting the poem late. Bye rounds suck, especially in the final round.
“Sometimes, immersed in his books, there would come to him
the awareness of all that he did not know, of all that he had not read;
and the serenity for which he labored was shattered as he realized the
little time he had in life to read so much, to learn what he had to know.”
~Stoner, John Williams~
My Homebrew (Most Recent) | Forum Rules
/veɪnoɚ/
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2014-12-15, 05:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Re: Iron Poet XX
Glad to be able to wrap things up before the end of the year festivities take over. Thanks to all poets for their entries during this contest. I read a few remarkable lines along the contest and some immersive stories. Sorry FinnLassie, but the picture round was my favourite round as it provoked really strong poems imo...
Now on my selection of the final winner:
Spoiler: Finals: The Extinguisher vs. 3SecondCultist
Spoiler: The ExtinguisherI'm so seeing the melting Dali clocks while reading this. The painting itself is beguiling and it features a object linked to the prompt. You incorporated the prompts, no doubt. However, I wasn't really feeling the story. It's probably personal, but I wasn't carried along. My expectations were raised I admit, so this one feels a little underwhelming to your standards.
Spoiler: 3SecondCultistA prompt in style and story. That's well done. Limiting yourself to a rigid pattern makes it harder to sell your story. But it works, so you deserve a diffculty multiplier I guess. I enjoyed your poem a lot, even after a couple of reads. Thanks a lot.
Spoiler: WinnerAt first I was hesitating, but while rereading the poems, I decided quickly that the winner should be 3SecondCultist due to a higher re-readability value. I guess it's technically superior and I fell for the ideas captured in it's story.My personal folder is a graveyard of ideas, stuck in their dream phase.The "DM won't kill us" attitude is a bubble that sometimes needs to be bursted.Avatar courtesy of Linklele
There's an armor variant rule in UA that will drastically increase character survivability without completely bubble-wrapping them in plot invulnerabilityThrophies won:Spoiler
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2014-12-17, 11:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Boulder, CO
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
I'll have judgments finished up sometime tomorrow!
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2014-12-18, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- South Korea
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Thanks! I'm going to put up the new contest now so we can start recruiting over the holidays and hopefully get the ball rolling.
“Sometimes, immersed in his books, there would come to him
the awareness of all that he did not know, of all that he had not read;
and the serenity for which he labored was shattered as he realized the
little time he had in life to read so much, to learn what he had to know.”
~Stoner, John Williams~
My Homebrew (Most Recent) | Forum Rules
/veɪnoɚ/
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2014-12-19, 12:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Boulder, CO
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Sounds good!
Also it turns out it'll be tomorrow morning before I can get these finished; sorry for the cliffhanger!
3SecondCultist vs. The Extinguisher: Repetitious; Beguiled
Spoiler: 3SecondCultistI've always thought the villanelle was a fairly challenging form to make interesting. It fits the prompt quite well, of course, so I can see why you chose it. Your content is strong (as always) and execution as well; the refrains you've written really benefit from the repetition.
There are a couple places in this one where the form or content seem to suffer a bit for the sake of the other: "tomorrow" in the third stanza, for instance. You also don't quite avoid (I think) the main problem with villanelle, which is just keeping the content fresh all the way through. The fifth stanza especially feels like a bit of a cop out: you've implied the "plot" quite elegantly so far, but then it feels like you've run out of subtle things to say, so you just hit me over the head with it.
Altogether another very strong submission -- though not the most powerful thing you've entered in this contest.
Spoiler: The ExtinguisherI really like everything you've done here. This is definitely a piece worthy of the final round. You nailed the prompts perfectly and the actual content is intriguing. The meter, such as it is, enhances the theme very well; it doesn't feel strained at all.
The parts I find a little strange are the interrogative lines -- they break the monotone in a way I'm not sure I like. These little reflections serve an important purpose; reminding the audience that the speaker exists somewhere in the physical world, but I don't know; I feel like they could be a little less jarring somehow. I'm not certain that the title adds anything particularly meaningful to the piece, either.
Overall, a very excellent final submission!
Spoiler: VerdictThe ExtinguisherLast edited by Dr Bwaa; 2014-12-19 at 02:31 PM.
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2014-12-20, 12:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Location
- Uusimaa
Re: Iron Poet XX
I really don't get what you're saying sorry for. The round had really good poems, but as I stated, interpreting pictures and connecting them to poems varies so differently from reader to reader. It's just more challenging than having a couple words to prompt you, and I personally feel like it limits ones imagination. But hey, it's just a challenge, and this isn't a matter of life and death.
Originally Posted by LaZodiac
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2014-12-20, 01:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Re: Iron Poet XX
My personal folder is a graveyard of ideas, stuck in their dream phase.The "DM won't kill us" attitude is a bubble that sometimes needs to be bursted.Avatar courtesy of Linklele
There's an armor variant rule in UA that will drastically increase character survivability without completely bubble-wrapping them in plot invulnerabilityThrophies won:Spoiler
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2014-12-21, 01:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Location
- Uusimaa
Re: Iron Poet XX
Originally Posted by LaZodiac
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2014-12-22, 06:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Home
Re: Iron Poet XX
Sorry for taking so long again. I was insanely busy with finals, work, move and pre-christmas stuff for the last two weeks. Anyway, here are my judgements, finally:
Spoiler: Extinguisher VS 3SecondCultist
Spoiler: 3SecondCultistI'm not sure if this piece is sad or angry. Maybe it's both. And what else is there.. Insecurity, regret, procrastination? "I'll wake you when I let you go" gives me the feeling that the speaker is putting off something. I have a little difficult to find the rythm here, even with the repeating ends.
Spoiler: The ExtinguisherChills run down my spine. You captured the feeling of being hunted really well. Is it something real, or just in the speakers mind? In any case, it's always there. Or is it the clock? Or time, that you can't escape? I like how you used the ticks and tocks here, it gives the poem a nice rythm.
Spoiler: WinnerThe ExtinguisherAlamryn Kven, a druid who tries very hard not to be useless.
Celesta Halla, a fearless barbarian.
Jheren Falconer, a drifter ranger.
Rhenner Calami, a snarky medic with an untrustworthy memory.
DMing Ljonarian Enigma: Imperial Affairs and The Pirate Dream: Sliced Heart
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2014-12-24, 03:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- South Korea
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Congratulations to The Extinguisher, winner of Iron Poet XX!
“Sometimes, immersed in his books, there would come to him
the awareness of all that he did not know, of all that he had not read;
and the serenity for which he labored was shattered as he realized the
little time he had in life to read so much, to learn what he had to know.”
~Stoner, John Williams~
My Homebrew (Most Recent) | Forum Rules
/veɪnoɚ/
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2014-12-25, 04:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
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2014-12-25, 08:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Indeed, congratulations! The best poet definitely won the contest. Your last entry in particular was definitely tough to match.
Spoiler: Stuff I'm Working OnSmall Justice
An ongoing web serial about politics, vengeance, and miniature lizards. Go check it out!
"Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat."
-
2014-12-25, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- 3 inches from yesterday
- Gender
Re: Iron Poet XX
Thank you. 3SecondCultist, you really put up a fight there. I really liked your last one, and was pretty sure you would beat me here.
Thanks Uncle Festy for the wonderful Ashling Avatar
I make music