Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

[Doorhandle]

* If my homebrew race can in any way be described as "Sort of like Kender, except..." I am to destroy everything I've written about it.

*Cannot play an honorable, dour, and thief-hating kender trying to throw off the yoke of his chaotic-stupid kin.

[Socksy]

*Cannot play an honorable, dour, and thief-hating kender trying to throw off the yoke of his chaotic-stupid kin.

**Actually, yes, yes you can.
***Especially if you kill as many other Kender as possible.

[Anonymouswizard]

* When another player makes a cunning and charming aristocrat, it is acceptable to ask to play his servant.
** If the servant has an intelligence of 3 he should not be making the cunning plans.
*** If he has negative wisdom and no skill points per level he should really think twice about cooking.
** I may not convince another player to make a prince with 3 wisdom.
** If I make a time machine I should remember to put numbers on the display.

[Prince Raven]

Actually I would be perfectly okay with my players playing Blackadder, Bladrick and Percy.

[BootStrapTommy]

*I'm not allowed to question the physics of why my 30 foot long sword only has a 5 foot reach.
**After doing so, responding "But it only has a 5 foot reach!" is not a good defense against the ban swinging it indoors.

[Silus]

*"Welcome to Night Vale."
*"Welcome to Hoofington."
*"So imagine Night Vale mixed with Hoofington..."
**No longer allowed to do anything Night Vale or Fallout: Equestria related.
***Doubly so to combining the two.

*As classic as it may be, "We burn down the building" isn't always the best option.
**Especially in Rolemaster where the DM is expecting more inventive solutions.
***It's generally bad form to give the party an "I told you so" look when half the party is killed or incapacitated by the equivalent of six Dire Rats.

[FabulousFizban]

*my gnome bard may not put all his skill ranks into Perform: (various instruments such as Kazoo and beer bottle).
** May not attempt to play 12 instruments at once with various body parts during combat
*** Definitely may not play youtube videos in multiple windows to simulate this
**** No, you can't try to RP it instead
***** What the hell is a Gravikord?
****** Why do you own a Gravikord?
******* Cannot multiclass into synthesist summoner to gain more arms for instruments

[GPuzzle]

*No character background comes from Katawa Shoujo.
**Ever.
***The DM will personally invent a book catapult if you do so.

[Ksheep]

*my gnome bard may not put all his skill ranks into Perform: (various instruments such as Kazoo and beer bottle).
** May not attempt to play 12 instruments at once with various body parts during combat
*** Definitely may not play youtube videos in multiple windows to simulate this
**** No, you can't try to RP it instead
***** What the hell is a Gravikord?
****** Why do you own a Gravikord?
******* Cannot multiclass into synthesist summoner to gain more arms for instruments

******** No, I may not build a Wurlitzer theater organ by adding all these random instruments I have with the organ we got as treasure
********* Installing this organ in the back of a wagon and dragging it with us everywhere is disallowed
********** Now that the party has their own castle, I am free to install it in one of the rooms
*********** When the rest of the party complains that they can hear me playing from everywhere in the castle, the proper response is not "That was the plan"
************ I shouldn't be surprised when, after the other Gnome in the party finds another organ as treasure, he installs it in his room and plays it whenever I'm playing my Wurlitzer

Yes, this did actually happen, and yes, I was a Gnome Bard. There was also an incident with this organ and a cat which had been following us since the beginning of the adventure, but which had only been seen by one party member (everyone else failed their spot checks every time it showed up, and as such everyone thought that this guy was crazy).

[Tetraplex]

*Cannot play an honorable, dour, and thief-hating kender trying to throw off the yoke of his chaotic-stupid kin.

I believe there's actually a racial variant that supports this, actually. Grey Kender or something, ones who were afflicted by a magical depression curse and now are tolerable if sad.

[unseenmage]

* Just because I can homebrew an Ooze composed entirely of mathematical formulae doesn't mean I should.
** Even if it is unsurprisingly appropriate for the game system.
*** Especially if it gives the players nightmares IRL.

[Erth16]

* I am not to try and weasel my way out of a contract by signing with my non-dominant hand.
** Not allowed to sign with my dominant hand, then force my brain to swap dominant hands.
*** Not to sign the contract properly, but when it comes up make the ink invisible with my powers of color changing.
**** I should stop trying to Lemony Snicket my way out of a contract when I'm the one volunteering to sign it with no major consequences for signing or not signing it.

[vasharanpaladin]

*No character background comes from Katawa Shoujo.

**To be fair, an armless monk might be pretty cool.
***I am, however, expected to alter enough details that my "crippled master" monk is not immediately outed as Rin Tezuka.
****Get out, KS dev.

[GPuzzle]

**To be fair, an armless monk might be pretty cool.
***I am, however, expected to alter enough details that my "crippled master" monk is not immediately outed as Rin Tezuka.

****An extremely shy fire elementalist with half of her body burned might be rather interesting RP-wise
*****Hatred of birthdays, having her only friend be blind and having panic attacks are not mandatory.

[Spore]

Actually I would be perfectly okay with my players playing Blackadder, Bladrick and Percy.

I have made a nugget of purest GREEN!"

[DigoDragon]

I am no longer allowed to disguise an anti-tank mine as the little painted 'Handicap' marker in the parking lot.

[blacklight101]

*No longer allowed to camouflage a claymore inside a photo-booth in the mall as the camera.
**No longer allowed to hide a claymore in people's rearview mirrors.
***No longer allowed to have claymore mines

[vasharanpaladin]

****An extremely shy fire elementalist with half of her body burned might be rather interesting RP-wise
*****Hatred of birthdays, having her only friend be blind and having panic attacks are not mandatory.

******Blind swordsmen have been done to death. Blind archers are a relatively new concept.
*******My blind aasimar archer is discouraged from having a running competition with the mute tiefling rogue.

[GPuzzle]

******Blind swordsmen have been done to death. Blind archers are a relatively new concept.
*******My blind aasimar archer is discouraged from having a running competition with the mute tiefling rogue.

********Halflings will still need their legs to run.
*********Even with prostetics.

[Vknight]

*No character background comes from Katawa Shoujo.
**Ever.
***The DM will personally invent a book catapult if you do so.

****Except if the campaign is specifically built around such character concepts
*****Or your playing Monsters & Other Childish Things or Little Fears
******Said Gm's are allowed too be a tad dubious
*******You know what Kenji's back-story can't be used

*Character backgrounds cannot begin with and that is how I broke reality
**Character backgrounds cannot include and that is how I gained the ability too grant wishes

*White Court Vampires are no longer allowed too feed on any emotion except Lust
**Pure Red & Black courts are not an option
***The Jade Court is up too player/gm choice
****There are 3 other vampire courts,does not mean we can have 7 different vampires
*****Said 7 vampires are not Super Sentai Vampire Ranger
******The Red Court Infected Tattoos do not activate by saying Henshin
*******The White Court does not gain energy from being at the release of Twilight films

[Rater202]

****Except if the campaign is specifically built around such character concepts
*****Or your playing Monsters & Other Childish Things or Little Fears
******Said Gm's are allowed too be a tad dubious
*******You know what Kenji's back-story can't be used

*Character backgrounds cannot begin with and that is how I broke reality
**Character backgrounds cannot include and that is how I gained the ability too grant wishes

*White Court Vampires are no longer allowed too feed on any emotion except Lust
**Pure Red & Black courts are not an option
***The Jade Court is up too player/gm choice
****There are 3 other vampire courts,does not mean we can have 7 different vampires
*****Said 7 vampires are not Super Sentai Vampire Ranger
******The Red Court Infected Tattoos do not activate by saying Henshin
*******The White Court does not gain energy from being at the release of Twilight films

********I am not allowed to play a Temple Hound when the rest of the group are playing Vampires.
*********Especial not if nobody in the part speaks dog.
**********Not allowed to attack other PCs to get the extra fate points from the compell on my High Concept

[8balls]

* I am not allowed to play a super hero in a supers game who's only power is making onjects appear if he can make bad puns about them
** My heores weakness isn't sexy lingerie

[Lonely Tylenol]

*I may no longer use a Portable Hole to pleasure myself.

[Anonymouswizard]

*White Court Vampires are no longer allowed too feed on any emotion except Lust
**Pure Red & Black courts are not an option
***The Jade Court is up too player/gm choice
****There are 3 other vampire courts,does not mean we can have 7 different vampires
*****Said 7 vampires are not Super Sentai Vampire Ranger
******The Red Court Infected Tattoos do not activate by saying Henshin
*******The White Court does not gain energy from being at the release of Twilight films

******** My White Court Vampire's high concept is not "Edward Cullen, but with less sparkles", because that's obvious.
********* Nor can it be "Edward Cullen, in body glitter".
********** My Indian white court vampire cannot cause pregnancy via staring.
*********** Or an elaborate song and dance routine.
************ "Summon Backup Dancers" is not a power.
************* I may not keep tally of the resulting vampirelings.
************** I should not orchestrate their awakening.
* My werewolf's trouble cannot be "does not own a shirt".
** Especially if female.
*** "In love with the vampire's girlfriend" is right out.
**** "Does not own trousers" as a trouble?

Now, one I've seen multiple people told off for:

* I cannot abuse my engineering skills for fun and profit.

[vasharanpaladin]

* I cannot abuse my engineering skills for fun and profit.

**Nor my geometry skills.
***Especially since I failed geometry.

[Ksheep]

* When the DM says we are being attacked by a bear, I may not ask if he meant a platypusbear
** Same goes for skunkbear
*** No, it isn't an armadillobear, it's just a regular old bear
**** It's a bear, not a gopherbear
***** You know what, fine. It's actually an owlbear

[DigoDragon]

***** You know what, fine. It's actually an owlbear

* Its subtype has no... bearing with the argument.

[Hyena]

*Character backgrounds cannot begin with and that is how I broke reality

** Except when we are playing Mage the Awakening.

[Anonymouswizard]

** Except when we are playing Mage the Awakening.

** Or Kult.

[Doorhandle]

* I am not allowed to play a super hero in a supers game who's only power is making onjects appear if he can make bad puns about them
** My heores weakness isn't sexy lingerie

***If any character has that weakness, not to make battle armor out of lingerie just to hurt him.


*In battle-tech, cannot paint my mecha yellow and call it "The magic schooled bus."
**Especially if it's an atlas.
*Cannot upgrade a flea by replacing it's armour with gasoline-coated toilet paper. It's not THAT weak.
* Grasshopper mecha do not form locust swarms.
* Cannot have "what would Mazinger Z do?" engraved on my mecha's armor.
** Or "what would Kamina do?"
*** We already know what Megas XLR would do, and it's probably a bad idea.
** Same goes with "Carpaie diem"
* No mecha is equipped with a rimshot button
** Or a coffee machine, for that matter.


*My barbarian, while raging, is in fact, angry, and not "just disappointed."